Chelsey Macias

Fictional Journal Entry

June 05, 2021

I messed up. I really messed up this time. I’ll start off from the beginning…
So, as you may know, I have been with my boyfriend Jared for a while now (a little more
than a year now). When we first got together, I told him that I wasn’t ready to try anything with
him, which he understood. At the time, he told me that he would respect me and my wishes and
if anything were to ever happen to me, he’d be there in support. Oh boy, how I wish that were
true now. Anyways, we started being sexually active around six months into our relationship. We
were always careful and would always use protection. I ended up getting birth control, the pills if
I’m being specific. I was always punctual in taking them; but for some damn reason, I forgot to
take it this one time.
Three months ago. That’s when we had a slip up. I had forgotten to take the pill that day.
I didn’t think anything of it because I thought maybe I would be fine if I just took the pill the
next day. Fast forward a month, my period skipped. Again, I wasn’t alarmed because with my
birth control, sometimes I have very light periods and sometimes it skips a month. A second
month had passed, and again, no period. I was starting to get a bit scared at this point, but I
thought I was freaking out over nothing. I confided in Jared, and he told me not to worry about it.
Either way, I was on the pill…
Once three months had passed, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I took the first test,
hoping I wasn’t pregnant. Two parallel lines. I looked at the box to see what it meant. Pregnant.
There was a second test in the box, so I took the second one. At this point I was freaking out,
wishing that the first one was a mistake. Parallel lines again.
I sped to Jared’s house, literally balling my eyes out. He was so confused when I got
there, not knowing why I was crying. He tried calming me down, but nothing was working. Then
I told him the news. And that’s when things started to get bad.
“What do you mean you’re pregnant?!” “You were on the pill right?” “Why didn’t you
tell me sooner?!” “This is all your fault!” These were all things Jared said to me. It broke me. He
said he would be there for me, and now that I told him I’m pregnant, he can’t even support me?!
This isn’t all my fault. HE’S THE ONE WHO GOT ME PREGNANT. It takes two to make a
baby, not just one.
Now, if I lived in a different state, like California or New York, I wouldn’t be as stressed
out as I am right now because I can easily just get an abortion at a clinic. But I live in
Mississippi. And here, we have a lot of restrictions on abortions. These governors care more
about the rights of an unborn fetus more than they actually care about a living woman’s rights.
I’ve heard on the news that the government might overrule Roe v. Wade. I cannot believe this is
what we have come down to. It seems like we are regressing back time instead of making
progress forward. I’ve seen other countries make much progress forward. Look at Ireland. They
were once really strict on their abortion restrictions, BUT LOOK AT THEM NOW. THEY
HAVE OVERTURNED THEIR RESTRICTIONS. I don’t understand why this country isn’t
more accepting of women and their decisions on their body. They care more about the state’s
power than the people themselves.
I don't know what I’m going to do at the moment. Jared isn’t exactly the happiest with
me right now and I don’t even know if I can go to a clinic or not. I feel trapped, like I can’t go
anywhere. My last resort would be to try and do an abortion myself, but I know that can be
dangerous since it isn’t with a licensed physician. Hopefully everything ends up going well for
me. I’ll keep you updated on what happens next.