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On the house.
- Wow! Thanks!
- That was really sweet.
Oh, my God.
A charity dinner.
Yeah, $2,000 a plate.
What?
and it's not so little Mutu can get his malaria pills.
- Bye.
- See ya.
- Bye.
- See ya.
You okay?
Sure. Why?
She's short, but has an ample bosom. I love it. She's, like, half boob.
Let's go.
Daddy's home.
Is there even a single item on the menu that has garlic in it?
Garlic fries.
Then Daddy wouldn't have gotten this seven-digit Father's Date Card from Amy.
That worked?
- Doo-doo.
- Totally.
Interesting.
It's like the universe was saying, "Hey, Barney, there's this dude-- he's pretty cool--
and it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neuroses inibriation style.
More interesting.
- Drink, drink...
- Drink, drink, drink...
Uh, Lily, will you tell these guys how stupid they're being?
Guys, you are being immature and moronic, and drink, drink...
Yeah!
Drink!
This brain...
But really, the next thing I remember was waking up the following morning.
No dibs.
Robin.
No, no, it's a great idea. That's the whole point of getting drunk.
Say what?
'93?
Robin, I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter.
Just 'cause this guy's spending a lot of money doesn't mean you have to put out.
Slow...
Bye, Ted.
Slow...
Ding. Class dismissed. Here you go, kid. You call whoever you want.
At least someone appreciates the fact that I am doing and not thinking.
Exactly. It's like, what's he gonna do next? I don't know, but I want to find out.
Cheap Trick?
Oh, Ted.
# I fell in lo... #
Ted?
- And a pineapple.
- I know.
- Who is she?
- I don't know.
Whoa.
Hello.
Wait, were you here when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night?
Oh, and wow, for a little girl, you got a big tank.
How did you get in here anyway? We put Ted to bed around 1:00.
He rallies!
- I think she...
- Trick question. No thinking.
You know what time it is? It's do o'clock. Let's ride. Bring it!
Hi.
Excuse me.
Ted, as your mentor and spiritual guide, I forbid you from calling her.
Oh, yeah?
You're bluffing.
Ted?
You set me on fire.
And a pineapple. Am I the only one who's curious about the pineapple?
Who is she?
I have no idea.
Nice.
No. After I hosed you down with the beverage gun, I brought you back here.
I don't know.
Hello?
It's Ted.
I threw up?
Carl... did you know the word "karaoke" is Japanese for "empty orchestra"?
Hey, how easy do you think it would be to sneak into the zoo?
Okay.
It tickles.
Thanks, Carl.
We can't just be friends. We're attracted to each other, and we both know it.
Excuse me?
We're young, we're drunk-- half of us anyway-- and we only get one life.
Really?
Great.
Wait. Really?
Great.
Thanks, Carl.
It's Robin.
Those five shots got you further with Robin than your brain ever did.
Come on.
You know what? Hold on, man. Maybe it's not such a bad idea to think about this one.
You and Robin went down this road before. You got dinged up really bad.
You know who might have something to say about Ted's future with Robin?
Robin.
Daddy's home.
Hello.
Ted, I think you and I should have a talk about those phone calls last night.
Wait. This is killing me. We have to find out who that girl is.
Trudy.
My name is Trudy.
A little part of me wants to just jump the bones of the next guy I see.
Daddy's home.
Ladies.
I love everyone in this bar!
All right, I came in here, 'cause I thought I was gonna throw up.
Did you?
I did not.
Domo arigato.
So, do it.
I don't know.
You're funny.
Okay.
Hello?
Hey.
Ah, Robin's here. Um, look, Trudy, I need you to hide in my bedroom.
No, no, no, I-I'm not married. Um... I'll explain after you hide.
Hey.
Hi, guys.
Um, sorry I kept calling you like that. I was pretty drunk.
Uh, no kidding.
Okay, I'm gonna make this sound till you come hang out.
Without a breath?
No, I'm not. Look, I-I just turned off my brain for the night.
This is so Trudy.
I think.
Trudy?
I'm not making this up. She-she must have climbed out the fire escape.
Really?
and all your left with the next day is a bad hangover,
a sprained ankle...
Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team
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