SEMONIDES

, Loud-thundering Zeus controls the outcome, lad,

in everything, and makes it how he wants.
Men have no foresight, but from day to day
they live like cattle, knowing not al all
how God will bring each matter to its end;
yet everybody feeds on hope and trust
throughout his vain endeavours. Some await
tomorrow, some the turning of the seasons;
there's no man does not think he'll no:ach next year
the Wealth-god's darling. and society's.
But one is overtaken by old age
before ~ makes his goal, others succumb
to grim diseases, (llhelS slain in war
Hades escorts below dark earth, while some
die ou t at sea, by tempests buffeted
and the salt purple deep's unending waves,
when they can make no living o n the land;
others again fasten themselves a noose
and leave the sunlight by their own grim choice,
So we are spared no ill but numberless
dangers and hurts for which we cannot plan
exislior mortals. If I had my way,
we would not cling to sorrow, or 00 long
torment ourselves by dwelling on our woes.
2 When someone died, we would nOI think of him-
if we had any sense- more than a day.
) for we have time enough for being dead ;
for living.. just a few unhappy years.
" No life is wholly &ee from fault or harm.
:; . . . rons Jike an unweaned colt beside its dam.
6 A wife?"" There'$ nothing better a man can get
than a good one-and nothing ghastlier than a
"'d.
 SEMON IDES '7
7 God made diverse the ways of womankind.
One he created from a hairy sow;
in her house everything's a mess of filth
rolling about untidy on the floor,
and she herself, unwashed, in dirty clothes,
eats herself fat and wallows in the muck.
One from a wicked vixen he Cl'\'ated,
eJl;pert in every trid. She misses nothing
so long as it's bad, or even if it's good:
what's good she mostly denigrates, what's bad
she praises. But her moods are changeable.
One from a bitch: a slut, that by herself
gets pregnant; wants to hear and wants to know
every damned thing, peers everywhere and prowls
and yelps although there's no one to be seen.
The man can'l make her stop, neither with threats
nor if he knocks her teeth out with a stone
in rage, nor if he speaks with gentle words,
not even if she's sitting among guests,
but all the time he has this hopeless blight.
Another the Olympians shaped from earth
and gave a man: a lame duck, ignorant
of good and ill alike. The only skill
she knows is eating-oh, and when God sends
a frost, to pull her chair up to the fire.
Another from the sea: she has two moods.
One day she sparkles and her face is bright;
a guest who sees her will pay compliments,
'No finer, fairer wife in all the world!'
Another day she's insupportable
10 look at or go near 10, raging mad
like a bitch over her puppies, savagely
at odds with friends and. enemies- alike-
sea
just as the sometimes stands motionless
and hannless, a delight to those who sa.iI,
in summertime, but sometimes rages wild
with thunderous sweUrampaging to and fro.
1l\at's what this kind of woman's like-in mood,
I mean; there's no resemblance in her looks!
Another from an obstinate grey ass,
·8 SEVENTH CENTUR.Y

that after thwacks and CUl'SeS just consents

and does the minimum. And then she eats
';n the shadows, eats at the hearth, all nighl, all day;
and likewise hungry fur the act of love
she weloomes anyone thai oomes along.
One from a weasel - miserable breed,
with no fair fea~ or desirable
or lovely or delightful to her name.
She's quite resourceless in the bed of love,
ma1cing the passenger seasick.. She's a pest
to neighbours with her thieving; often, 100,
she eats the food that was for sacrifice.
A fancy mare was mother to another,
who bauIks at chores or anything that's hard
and wouldn' t touch a millstone, lift a s ieve,
O!" dear the shit out, or si t at the stove
for fear of soot; and yet compels a man
to love her. Twice a day she takes a bath,
or llutt times, 50me days; then she puts on scent.
Her long. lush hair is always combed, and decked
with flowers: hah. this sort of woman makes
a lovely sight for others, but a plague
for the man she belongs to, that's to say unless
ke's some big tyrant or some sceptre<:! king
whose heart takes pride in suchlike fripperies.
One from a monkey: quite the deadest los.<;
that Zeus has given us, this one. Ugly f~ -
the whole town sniggers when this sort goes past;
short in the neck; in aU her movements stiff,
fixed legs, no bum. Poor sod, who cuddles that!
And like a monkey, she knows all the tricks
and tropes, oh·yeti, but doesn't 1ike a joke.
She'd d o no good to anyone, but looks
and thinks aD day how she can do most hann .
One from a bee: he's lucky who gets her,
for she's the only one on whom no blame
alights. Wealth grows and prospers at he.- hands .
. Bound in affection with her husband she
grows old, her children handsome and esteemed.
Among all women she stands out; a charm
 SEMONIDES '9
divine ,ufTOUnds her. She does not enjoy
sitting with women when they talk of $eX.
Of aU the wiv~ lhal Zeus besloW$ on men,
this kind's the finest and mosl sensible.
Bul aU those other breeds, by Zeus' design,
exist and ever will abide with men.
y~, the worsl pestilence Zeus ever made
is women. Even if they look 10 be
a helpmeet, yet the maSler suffers mosl:
the man who keeps a woman in his house
never gets through II whole day in good cheer,
nor will he soon drive Hunger from his door,
that hostile lodger, hateful deity.
When with his household he seems most contenl,
whether by God's gnce or on man', ac:count,
she finds $Orne bowt, and girds herself lot war.
Where there's a woman, they may not be keen
even to welcome in a visitor.
I'U teU you, s he that looks the best-behaved
in fact is the most rotten of them an,
for while her man gawps fondly .t her, oh,
the neighboun' merriment another dupe!
y~, when the talk's of wives, each man will praise
his own and c:rilicize the other bloke's,
but we don't realixe it's equal shares.
For Zeus made wives as his worst pestilence
and fettered us in bonds unbreakable.
II's long been $0: remember those who fought
round Troy's old city for a woman's"ke
and found a home in. Hades, 'and again
those others who were murdered at their
hearth . _ .J
8 ... like an eel down in the slime.
9 A heron, wming on a buv.ard eating
a fine Maunder eel, took it away.
10 Why do I make a lengthy tale of this?
1001 Do not be proud of never washing. nor
a water-maniac; grow no bushy beard,
nor wnp your body in a filthy cloak.
 Semonides of Amorgos
(]th cent. B.C.)

The poet whom we caU Semonides may be considered a poor man's

ArchiIochus. He was a seventh-century native of Sam05, one of the
original Ionian colonies. He is credited by the Suda, a Byzantine ency-
clopedia, with establishing a Samian colony on the island of Arnor-
gos, in the southeastern Aegean. Hence, like ArchiIochu5, he was
colonist and poet, and his attitudes are somewhat similar. Lucian lists
him, Archilochu5, and Hipponax as the masters of abusive verse.
Semonides is most frequently remembered today for his long. jaun-
diced catalog of female personality types (see fragment z).
There is some confusion about this author's name. In fact, he is
called Simonides by all andent sources except for a late grammarian
who is quoted in a Byzantine encyclopedia, the Etymologicum Mag-
num, to the effect that the iambic poet from Amorgos was named
5emonides, while the lyric poet of Coos was named Simonides. This
distinction has been kept by modem classicists merely for conven-
ience. The Significant fragments of "Semonides" all come from Stc-
baeus, who refers to their author as Simonides. Attribution of these
fragments to the poet of Amorgos is based on the fact that they are
written in iambic meter. Poems in other meters are attributed to
Simonides of Ceos.

How easily the gods trick the mortal mind! [I)

In lhe beginning, god made women

differently: one from the shaggy sow.
Everything lies in a jumble at home,
caked with mud and kicked in the dirt.
She sits unbathed in unclean rags
on heaps of dung. getting fatter.
,
From the wicked fox he made another,
a wODliln capable of anything; not one

"
 Early G~k Lyric Poetry

virtue or vice has gotten past her,

though often she damns the former and praises
the latter. Her character constantly changes.
One from the dog.. bad as her mother;
she has to see and hear it aU.
She sniffs all arouncL then runs away
and barks, even if no one it there.
No threats from a husband can stop her noise, "
not even bashing her teeth with a stone
suffices, much less gentle persuasion.
She acts the same, sitting with guests,
constantly yapping away unstoppable.
The Olympians molded another woman
of earth and gave her lame to man.
knowing nothing evil or good.
The only job she understands is eating.
She cannot even move her chair
dose to the fire in winter storms.'
"
One from the sea with a twofold mlnd.
Sometimw ~he laush~ lind actli merry,
winning praise from the house guest:
Nin all mankind, no woman excels )0
this wife of yours, and none is prettier. ~
Next day, she cannot endure being seen
or anyone near her; she rages, hard
to approach u a bitclt protecting puppies,
impossible to please, cross with aU,
treating friend and foe alike.
As the sea often lies calm,
"
harmless, a great Joy to sailors
in the summer ~$On, but coken rages,
tos5ing about in thunderou~ waves;
this woman's character most resembles
the sea, whose temperament is always changing.
One from the sullen, gray mule.
With force and threats she finally learns
to lIke her work and do it well
enough. Meanwhile, she eats all nish!
and aU day in a nook or by the hearth.
Likewise, she _komes any companion
who comes to her for the work of Aphrodite.
The wl'.asel woman is II wrekhed, pitiable
breed without a single attractive,
desirable, pleasant, or lovable trait.
She Is mad for sexual pleasure but simply
belflg in her presence naUSl!ates a man.
 Semonldes of Amorgos

A nuisance 10 neighbors by habilualslealing.

"
,he likes 10 eal whal is lefl on altars.
A prancing, long.maned, mare produced
"
a woman disdainful of work and pain.
She never louches a mill!IIone, lifts
a sieve, emplles chamber pols,
or sils by the oven, fearing sool.
She makes her husband and poverty friends.
She takes two baths a day and sometimes
three, anointing herself with oil.
She sports a luxurious mane, ~Iways 6,
freshly combed and covered with flowers .
A woman like this is a pleasant sight
for others, but a bane to a husband, unless
he happens to be a tyrant or king
who prides himself on such possessions. 'JO
One from the ape and she is by far
the worst of Zeus' evils for man.
Her factai expressions are hideous; e~ryone
gets a laugh when she comes to town.
Her neck is short; she hobbles along. 75
all skin and bones, no hips. Pity
the man who embrace!i such an abomination!
Uk!! an ape, she knows every trick
and scheme, deaf to the laughter she causes.
She would never help a person; her constanl 80
goal, the object of aU her plans,
is to do the greatest evil she can.
One from the bee, a blessing 10 get.
Her alone no criticism fits.
Life with her is green and blOOming.
Old, she is dear to her husband still.
The mother of a handsome, distinguished brood,
"
she stands above all other kinds
of women, a godlike grace envelops her.
She does not enjoy sitting with friends
to gossip aboullove and romance.
Such women are Zeus' gift to men,
'"
the best and wisest ones he made.
All the other breeds exist
and slay with men by Zeus' treachery. 95
Women are the worst evil Zeus
created. They seem 10 be of use,
Imt are always their owner's greatest problem.
No one who lives with a woman ever
spends an entirely pleasant day
 Early Greek Lyric Poetry

or e'asily keeps Hunger away,

thai hateful guest and hostile god.
Whert a man plans to be festive at home
on some' religious or 50daI occasion,
she t1kes offense and puts on her helmet. .os
When a woman is present, a man cannot
gradously receive a guest in his home.
The woman who seems most virtuous
commits the most outrageous actions
when her husband looks away, and neighbors no
rejoice to see another victim.
Everyone praises the woman he has
and finds fault with that of another.
We fail to realize ow fates are the same.
Women are Zeus' worst creation, U5
the Iron chain shackling our feet
ever since Hades welcomed those men
who died in battle f01 the $like of a woman. 12]

Zeus the thunderer controls every

outcome, 1!oOII, and he does what he pleases.
Men are not rational. We live like animals,
a day at a time, unaware of the ends
to which god directs all things, 5
but nursed by hope and faith we push on
in vain. Some wait £01 dawn,
others a chan~ of season, but there
is not a mortal who does not expect
to be mends with wealth and comfort in a year.
Age catches one man first,
before he reaches his goal; others
are aushed by disease or mastered by Ares
and Hades ushers them down below.
Sailors swept away by a hurricane '5
and. pounded by dllr'" Sill! waves
die in struggle when strength fails,
but men have also applied the noose
to their misery, departing the sunlight freely.
There is no refuge. Death takes
countless forms. Pains and grief
exist worse than can be imagined.
I think it wrong to love misfortune,
clinging to life when life is torment.2 [3]
 Semonides of Amorgos
"
We have ample time to be dead,
but live just a few hard years. [41

A dead man should be in our thoughts

for no more than a day-if at all.b!