Raising A Muslim Child Mirza Yawar Baig

Raising a Muslim child

Owning a sacred responsibility
Mirza Yawar Baig
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Contents
Preface .......................................................................... 6
Introduction ................................................................. 8
Who They Are: Being a Standard Bearer of Islam .... 14
Define Boundaries .................................................. 20
Rat versus Cat ......................................................... 28
Criteria for Decision Making.................................. 41
Connection with Allah: Tawheed & Uboodiya ....... 44
Investing in Holistic Development ........................ 50
So Who is Allah ................................................... 60
Love or Fear? .......................................................... 66
Connection with Muhammad ................................. 76
Sense of Ummah .................................................. 106
Children Listen with Their Eyes ........................... 110
Taking from the treasures of Allah: Salah, Dua.... 116
Giving to the world: Charity & Da’awa ..................... 118
About the Author ..................................................... 122
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Preface
Why this book? Why not this book?
In all the years that I have spoken to parents all over the
world, I have often asked them one question:
‘Please think of your most powerful role model. For how

many of you is it a parent?’
I have never had more than five percent of the population

put up their hands. That means that for ninety-five people,
their parents – the two people who invested the most in
their upbringing – are not their role models; a real tragedy,
though a self-inflicted one. It need not occur and this book
will help you to protect yourself from becoming a part of
the ninety-five percent.
I believe that parenting is a serious job which must be

undertaken consciously; clearly understanding what it
entails. Children have a right to have good parents who can
be role models for them and who can not only teach them
the tools to succeed in this life, but also to take from the
treasures of Allah and succeed in the life to come.
Please remember that whether you like it or not, you are a

role model for your children. Your choice is to decide what
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kind of role model you want to be – one that they can look
up to or one that they have to look down on. Children listen
with their eyes. They don’t care what you say until they see
what you do. Anyone who has children has no such thing
as a private life. Whatever you do is under the lights, will
be noticed, learnt, and emulated. If there is any gap between
the talk and the walk your credibility with your children
will fall through it. Allah sent you to guide your children
and enormity of this responsibility is the reason for the
honorable status that Islam gives to parents. Parents who
behave dishonorably before their children are the worst of
humanity – abysmal, abominable, and disgusting.
Today, young Muslim parents are anxious to ensure that

their children are brought up as practicing Muslims and are
a credit to themselves and their parents. This little book is a
consolidation of all the things that I have said to people in
answer to their questions.
I wish all those who read this book, children who will be a
source of delight to them in this world and a source of
ongoing benefit in the Hereafter.
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Introduction
Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the

shape of the spoon. ~ E.M. Forster
A big misconception that Muslim parents have is that their

responsibility is like that of any other parent; feed them,
clothe them, shelter them, send them to a good school,
safeguard their future. As was the practice of the kings of
old, princes and princesses were taught and raised
differently from ordinary people. This is not misplaced
arrogance or a sense of false superiority; it is recognizing
one’s responsibility as a Muslim parent and doing what it
takes to fulfill this trust.
I’ve met many parents who struggled very hard to

overcome difficult circumstances in their childhood and
who say to themselves (and to everyone else) with great
emotion and tears in their eyes, “I will never allow my
children to face the hardship that I had to go through.”
When I hear this statement I tell them, “What you are
essentially saying is, ‘I will never allow my children to build
resilience, character, and strength. I will never allow them
to have the power that I have to succeed.’” For many of
them this response comes as a shock. They had never
thought about their view on upbringing of children in that
light.
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Muslim families today spend far too little time in

inculcating the value of contribution; of each generation
creating its own legacy and not being content to ride on the
back of the earlier generation. They give their children the
same education that is given to the children of ordinary
people who are not Muslim. They don’t prepare their
children for the distinctly different responsibility that they
will have to shoulder. This not arrogance; it is merely
recognizing the fact that the Muslim children are going to
inherit a mission entirely out of context of their own effort.
It is therefore essential for them to understand the distinctly
different responsibility that comes with such a mission for
which they will be answerable to Allah.
Parents often equate expense with quality. They give their

children the most expensive education which often
insulates them from the realities of life and they never learn
to fight the real battles. They give them expensive toys
which teach them to define human value in terms of
material worth (the ‘best’ kids are those who have the best
toys) and momentary entertainment. They insulate them
from poverty, deprivation, lack of resources and thereby
they ‘protect’ them from being exposed to the power of
drive, ambition, single minded focus on achieving big,
ambitious, scary goals. They build walls between their
children and the people who they must deal with when they
leave their schooling; people who will one day work with
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them and share their lives and decide their fate. People who
need to be inspired, led, cared for, and supported. And
therefore, people who must be understood – not simply in
order to do good and be charitable, but because the success
of their mission and life depends on the development of
these people; the great multitude. The fond parents forget
or ignore the fact that one day the time will come for the soft
little molly coddled pussy cat to enter the jungle of the real
world without any of the tools it needs to survive, much less
to lead others.
It is not sufficient to simply feed, clothe, and shelter the

child. You do that for a pet cat or dog. It’s not enough for a
child. A child must be raised, taught his or her place in
society, given the tools to succeed, and made aware of its
responsibility as a human being. Muslim children, even
more, need a very different education, very different life
experiences, and very different criteria to measure
themselves, all of which have to be inculcated from the
earliest childhood. Being rich or poor is not about how
much you have. It is about how you think. The best and
most powerful asset that Muslim parents can give to their
children is to teach them these tools. Few do.
A good way to understand this is to see how child prodigies

are brought up. They are not given the same education as
everyone else. The entire focus of their education, both
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formal and informal, is based on the eventual role that they

must play. Only then can the true glory of the gift that they
have been bestowed with come forth. Take for example the
tennis legend Andre Agassi. Agassi’s father wanted him to
be the top tennis player in the world and focused his
training towards this goal since he was a baby. To begin
with, he spent considerable resources of a modest income in
building a tennis court in their home. He then built a ball
throwing machine that could throw tennis balls at one-
hundred-and-ten miles per hour. This was in the 1970’s –
ball machines that could throw at such speed weren’t
readily available in the market. But he wanted the best for
his child so he built it himself with a modified engine. He
started training Agassi with a tennis racket as soon as he
was strong enough to hold one in his hands. By the age of
seven, Agassi was hitting twenty-five-hundred balls across
the net every day, coming to him at the speed of hundred-
and-ten miles per hour. If you do the math, that comes out
close to a million hits a year. To this day, he is regarded as
the best service returner in the history of the game.
Returning balls coming at hundred-and-ten miles per hour,
twenty-five-hundred times a day as a seven-year-old had
something do with that.
Children born to Muslim parents have been gifted with

resources – with the tools to connect to Allah. But like all
tools, they must be taught how to use them. They are not
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ordinary children; to treat them as if they were is to deny

them their opportunity to make a mark in the world that
others will have to try far harder to do. They must be
brought up always with the final aim of leading the world
in mind. They must be carefully watched, nurtured, and
mentored from the earliest age. They must be given tasks of
graduated difficulty so that they learn to win on their own.
They must be allowed to face their fears and to conquer
them.
They must learn that to be poor and to be honorable are not

mutually exclusive; just as to be rich and to be honorable are
not mutually inclusive. They must learn that virtue is a state
of mind; a stance, a decision, a position that one takes, not
because someone is watching, but because of one’s own
sense of identity. I do because of who I am. And I become
because I do. They must learn that our actions define us.
They must learn that people will define them on the basis of
both what they owned and what they contributed. But they
will honor them only for what they contributed. Because we
are remembered not for what we had, but for what we gave.
Only when they are taught to focus on contribution from
their earliest childhood will they be able to fight the force of
consumerism that is focused on consumption; blind, self-
centered consumption that will consume us all if it is
allowed to proliferate unchallenged. Muslim families must
bring up children who will challenge these norms and
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create a society that is focused on contribution instead of

consumption, so that in the end we leave behind a place that
is better for our passing.
It is when parents bring up self-centered children focused

on consumption, that when the time comes, they think
nothing of breaking up the family in their fight to get the
most for themselves. When children are focused on what
they can contribute, they will work to take care of their
family and society at large and to ensure that their influence
and service is enjoyed by more and more people
worldwide. In the process it is inevitable that the individual
himself grows and becomes richer and more powerful
because wealth and power are the result of intelligent effort;
not its objective.
I believe that it is essential for Muslims to ensure that their

children are taught five foundational essentials:
1. Who they are: being Standard Bearers of Islam

2. Connection with Allah: Tawheed & Uboodiya
3. Connection with Rasoolullah: Sunnah & Being a
member of the Ummah
4. How to take from the treasures of Allah: Salah & dua
5. Giving to the world: Charity & Da’awa
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Who They Are: Being a Standard Bearer of

Islam
Allah said:
Aal Imraan 3:110. You [Muslims] are the best of peoples ever
raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma'rûf (good) and
forbid Al-Munkar (evil), and you believe in Allâh.
Muslim children therefore must be brought up with the

final aim of leading the world into Jannah in mind. They
must be carefully watched, nurtured, and mentored from
the earliest age. This is the meaning of Tarbiyya. They must
be given tasks of increasing difficulty so that they learn to
win on their own. They must be allowed to face their fears
and to conquer them. They must be supported but not
protected. They must be advised but not directed. They
must be allowed to take their own decisions but not without
the benefit of the frame of reference of the values of
Tawheed, Sunnah, honor, fairness, responsibility,
accountability, nurturing, and trusteeship. They must be
allowed to feel, to cry in the night for the hardships that
others undergo, to build friendships and relationships that
span the boundaries of color, race, religion, nationality and
much more difficult, social order and prejudice.
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Akhlaaq: The Key Differentiator
It is the connection with Allah that is the primary

responsibility of the parent to build and constantly
strengthen and which is the biggest and best protection
against all the evil that seems to surround us, ever more
closely.
Children must be taught Akhlaaq (manners) that will

differentiate them from the rest and make them stand out as
Standard Bearers of Islam. Apart from all things to do with
social graces and politeness, a Muslim child must be taught
those things that Allah considered important enough to
mention in the Qur’an. Allah said:
Al Hujuraat 49:10. The believers are nothing else than brothers

(in Islâm). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear
Allâh, that you may receive mercy. 11. O you who believe! Let not
a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better
than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it
may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one
another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to
insult one's brother after having Faith [cursing, using bad
language]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed
Zalimun (wrong-doers). 12. O you who believe! Avoid suspicion,
indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one
another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother?
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You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allâh. Verily,
Allâh is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.
Children must be taught how to speak to elders and

teachers and to their own younger siblings. They must learn
that respect is due to age, learning, and character; not due
to possessions and money. They must learn that their
behavior will define them and that when they show respect
for others they are merely demonstrating their own
upbringing and bringing honor to themselves and those
who raised them. When they are disrespectful the contrary
is equally true. Being disrespectful is not insulting to the
other person; it merely demonstrates the dishonorable
nature of the doer.
It is strange that today it is very common to ask someone,

‘How are you?’ – Only to hear the rude answer, ‘I’m good!’
That’s all. No, ‘Very well, thank you. And how are you?’ It
is common for people to ask without saying, ‘Please’ or to
take things without asking permission or to simply walk
away after having stamped your foot or kicked your
briefcase or sneezed in your face, and not bother to say, ‘I’m
sorry.’ Muslim children were once known for their
upbringing. Not anymore.
Children must be taught that meal times are sacred because

the home is not a hotel where one can simply order room
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service. Meals, especially the one meal at which the whole

family eats together, may not be missed or interrupted.
Mealtime is for the family and any family guests. Exams,
games, TV shows, football, cricket, or basketball matches
are not acceptable excuses for missing the family meal. It is
okay to invite friends to a meal at home but not okay to talk
to them on the phone while the rest of the family eats.
Children must learn that their guests must also follow the
rules of the family home.
Naturally, it is the parents who have to set the norm. If the

father misses the meal without comment, then so will the
child. If the father sits in front of the TV because he wants
to see what happened to his favorite team and moves the
meal to the living room with eyes glued to the screen, then
this will become the norm and he will have no moral
authority to insist that the children do something different.
If parents sit in their favorite chair and shout out to the
servant to get this or that, so will the children. If parents
litter, children will too.
If parents pay children to wash cars, mow lawns, clean attics

or garages, instead of personally doing these things taking
the children along with them, then children will learn that
as long as they can throw money at some poor person to do
their work, they need not care for their own environment.
Not only will they not learn to take care of their common
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spaces, but they will also learn to treat some jobs with
disrespect and to look down on those who do those jobs.
Each of these behaviors discussed above can be linked to

one or more of the evils of our society; one that is stratified
according to economic circumstances, not according to
knowledge, moral values, or being honorable. A society
where people don’t care for other people. Where the self is
worshipped and indulgence is the supreme goal. Where
freedom is defined as the ability to indulge your whims
with impunity, even when some of this indulgence may be
breaking the laws of God or country.
Muslim children must learn that Islam is not just a set of

rituals of worship but a complete way of life where duties
to people are mentioned with duties to Allah.
Mu’minoon 23:1. Successful indeed are the believers. 2. Those

who offer their Salât (prayers) with all solemnity and full
submissiveness.3. And those who turn away from Al-
Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allâh has
forbidden).4. And those who pay the Zakât .5. And those who
guard their chastity 6. Except from their wives or (the captives
and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free
from blame 7. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the
transgressors 8. Those who are faithfully true to their Amanât (all
the duties which Allâh has ordained, honesty, moral responsibility
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and people’s trusts) and to their covenants; 9. And those who

strictly guard their (five compulsory congregational (prayers) (at
their fixed stated hours).10. These are indeed the
inheritors.11. Who shall inherit the Firdaus (Jannah).They shall
dwell therein forever.
All these things will make the Muslim child a walking,

talking example of the Way of Islam and will differentiate
him from the rest and make him a benchmark and a role
model for others.
This is the essence of Islam and the example that

Rasoolullah and his Sahaba left for us, when they used to
say to anyone who asked about Islam, ‘Become like us.’ That
was because they were Islam personified. And that is the
first duty of the Muslim parent – to mould the child in the
Islamic Way by demonstrating.
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Define Boundaries
The biggest mistake that parents make is not to define

boundaries. Parents must parent. Many parents today seem
to be too focused on being ‘friends’ to their children at the
expense of parenting. In this endeavor they bend over
backward trying to be nice to the children and do whatever
the children want them to. Boundaries are therefore never
firm and clear. They are always open to negotiation and
children push the boundaries until they get what they want
from parents who have confused parenting with being
‘friendly.’ Parents must remember that their children can
have many friends but they have only two parents. Parents
have been assigned the role of parenting. Every other role
is optional. The only assigned role is that of parenting and
they need to fulfill that first and foremost.
Children are forever testing boundaries. So these must be

clear. For example, children can disagree with parents on
issues provided they do so respectfully. That cheekiness is
not cute, it is insulting. That joking and insulting are two
different things. That assertiveness is to insist on your rights
without violating the rights of others. That aggressiveness
is to violate the rights of others; one is commendable, the
other is reprehensible. That caring for your environment
(read: home, office, bathroom, car, garden, pets, etc.) is your
job and not the job of parents or servants. Servants may
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clean the home once in a day, not every time the child makes
a mess. It is a common sight in the East, especially in
wealthy family homes, to see the mother or a servant
picking up after the child who is a moving litter creator.
Children must learn that making a mess in the home or their
own room is not acceptable. That their room is theirs but not
to do with as they please. That the rules of the home apply
even inside their room.
Children must be taught that value is not equal to cost. For

example, the cost of learning may be negligible but the
value of knowledge is immeasurable. And so the scholar
must be respected and honored for his knowledge even if
he is poor. The muddy handprints of your little daughter
may well have ruined your Armani suit when she rushed to
give you a hug as you returned from work, but the value of
the hug is far more than the value of the suit and so you
keep silent and return her hug with a bigger one and add a
kiss as a bonus. The suit can be cleaned or replaced. The
broken heart of a little girl can’t be repaired. Children must
be taught that the mud and brick structure that they live in
is a house, not a home. And no matter how big yours is,
there is always another somewhere else which is bigger,
shinier, taller, wider, and more beautiful. How expensive or
big it is does not show how happy and contented the people
who live in it are. And it is the happiness and contentment
that make it home, not mud and brick.
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Possessions add cost, not value.
Teach them to use things and value people; not to value

things and use people. Teach them that toys break while
friendship grows.
Children must be taught that humans have more intrinsic

value than anything material which can be bought, sold, or
junked. That cars, branded clothing, watches, gadgets,
material possessions, expensive houses don’t add value to
the people who use them. Anyone sensible will seek to add
value to himself, not cost. People who believe that
possessions add value or seek to convince others of this,
have no value for themselves. They have low self-esteem
and are seeking to lower the value of the human being.
Children must be taught that a car, no matter how
expensive, is transportation, not a symbol. It is bad
judgment which makes someone put huge amounts of
money into a depreciating asset.
A shirt is clothing, a watch is meant to tell the time, and

shoes are meant to walk in. None of these define you, are
not statements, nor indicators of what kind of human being
you are. It is your character, your actions, what you stand
for, your principles and your values which define you. Not
what you possess. What you possess can be stolen or taken
away from you. Your character, your values, your
principles are the stuff of memories that you leave behind.
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By these you will be remembered, honorably or otherwise.

Live a life such that you will be remembered with honor.
Teach children these things by personal example. Because
that is the only way to teach them.
Children must be taught the value of money. The value of

earning it, of investing it, of making it earn for you. They
must learn the difference between spending and investing.
They must be trained to be wealth creators, not wealth
spenders. They must be taught that spending is to incur an
expense for something that can give no return and
depreciates in value. Investing is to incur an expense for
something that gives a return. Spenders are fools who don’t
know how to use their money. Investors are smart value
creators who will get richer and richer and be able to help
others and build their own Aakhira. Let them see those who
buy expensive cars, handbags, watches, jewelry and clothes;
who spend money on expensive tickets to watch sports
matches, races and mindless entertainment in the light of
this criterion. And then let them see others who spend far
less, on books, learning, helping others, and investing in
earning assets, using the same criterion.
Children learn to handle money by actually handling

money. So give them an allowance and then ask them to
present monthly P&L accounts and an annual Balance
Sheet. See what the headings are, under which they spent
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their allowance. See if they have found ways to make their

allowance earn for them instead of simply spending it on
consumables. Show them the alternatives they may have
missed. Once children see how they will actually gain and
have more money by this kind of thinking, you have won.
See if they spent some money on the welfare of others.
Guide them by example. Teach them to be rich. For as I have
said earlier, being rich or poor is a function of how you
think. Not of what or how much you possess.
Teach them to make their own Balance Sheets for the

Aakhira – what will they leave behind here in this life for
which they will have to give account to Allah and what
will they receive from Allah on account of what they
spent to please Him. And when you have seen their Balance
Sheets, show them your own. Children listen with their eyes
and learn from example.
As we bring up our children, so we create the society we

live in. We have succeeded in creating a society that is rich
in resources and poor in the willingness to share. That is
why we have hunger and poverty. Our society is rich in
material and poor in morals and spirit. That is why we have
evil and sin. Our society is rich in information but poor in
wisdom. That is why the most ‘educated’ nations among us
are the most barbaric. That is why we have people in some
countries starving to death while in 2007-8 more than £ 1
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billion worth of food was thrown away in Britain alone. Is

this an issue of food production, distribution, or simply of
lack of concern for others?
We have created a society that has concentrated power and

wealth in the hands of a few who have no concern for
others. These are people who have the resources to actually
create a world without hunger, educated, with proper
medical care, where there are none homeless and which is
free from crime. But instead they have created a world that
has the capability of destroying itself forty times over.
Nobody stops to ask how this will happen the second time,
let alone for another thirty-eight times.
The correction has to begin in the home.
It is this self-centered thinking that has given rise to the so-

called ‘Rat Race’. It will not be out of place to share some
thoughts and reflections on what the Rat Race is and how to
beat it because as they say, ‘The problem with the Rat Race
is that even if you win, you are still a rat.’
A friend once asked me to show him a way to get out of the

rat race and on the spur of the moment I said, ‘Become a
cat.’ Then I reflected on the qualities that a cat represents
and those which a rat represents and I tried to see how these
can help us to create life quality and satisfaction. What
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differentiates a rat from a cat? And how does that help us?
That is what this is about. One word of caution; like all
analogies this also ends at a point. The point being that this
is meant for people, not rats or cats. So please don’t get too
stuck to the zoology and remain with the concept and
philosophy of how we can power-up our lives.
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Rat versus Cat
Now what distinguishes the Rat from the Cat? In my view

it is focus that distinguishes the Rat in the Rat Race from the
Cat which is watching from his perch.
In the Rat Race, the focus is self-aggrandizement &

destructive competition:
There is constant comparison with others. This produces

dissatisfaction with one’s own situation and so one strives
harder to beat the other. Naturally this focus also produces
the need to show off, because what is the use of gain if it
can’t be flaunted? People don’t feel good because they have
more, but because they have more than others do. So if
everyone had the same or similar, if everyone developed,
the satisfaction would be less. One feels very satisfied not
by being wealthy but by being more wealthy than one’s
friends, companions, family, and being able to show off that
wealth so that others feel jealous, envious, frustrated. Since
material things are easier to accumulate and display, the
focus of the Rat Race is very materialistic. People build
houses not to create warm and loving homes but to create
edifices to their egos. They fill them with artifacts bought in
antique stores that arrived there from the houses of other
rats of times gone by, who also filled their houses with
artifacts from the homes of still other rats gone by.
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Little do they reflect on the irony of this. For rats, cars are
not a means of transportation but statements of their
position in society. Weddings are not about the young
people starting a new life but an opportunity for the parents
to flaunt their wealth. Victims of the Rat Race beg to be
invited to such ‘high society weddings’ and then gaze with
longing eyes at all that they are never likely to have and go
home and complain about how wasteful the hosts were and
in what bad taste their party was. This is because rat parties
are not about meeting friends and feeling good, but about
looking to see what others wore and feeling bad. That is
why all the good feeling of wearing a nice dress or a good
piece of jewelry becomes saw dust in the mouth the moment
they see another person wearing a huge rock on a rope.
Aah!! And of course in the Rat Race there is a great deal of

rejoicing in the misfortunes of others. Nothing is more
satisfying than to talk about the robbery in someone’s house
in which they lost all their jewelry or the accident in which
their Bentley was totaled. All this is of course spoken of in
pained tones, but one only has to look into the eyes to see
the undisguised glee in them. Rat societies are very
uncaring places in which personal gain is the only
consideration. Means, fair or foul, are not a matter of
interest to anyone. Results justify the means. As long as I
gain, it does not matter how I gained. It matters even less at
whose expense I gained. Moral values, codes of behavior,
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principles, religion are all means to be used in gaining

advantage over others. There is no real loyalty to any of
these things. They are tools to be used, ruthlessly and
without apology and to be cast aside when they are no
longer useful. In the end, worship is only of the self and of
personal desire.
Since accumulation of material possessions is essential to

win in the Rat Race, rats become stingy and hoard
resources. They won’t share what they have with others
because it will reduce their own store. Even when some
things they have may be time sensitive and can get spoilt or
redundant unless they are used, rats will still hoard them
and will not give them to others or allow others to use their
resources. Rats will also not share knowledge to ensure that
others never have a chance to succeed.
Rat societies are characterized by a lack of education and

disparities in learning and capability. Safety becomes the
key driver. Risk taking disappears. Fear of losing
possessions dominates all thinking and various means are
sought to prevent that. Security agencies do good business
in rat societies. Rats are unwilling to face the fact that
societies in which disparities between people are less or
non-existent, crime automatically disappears. Rats don’t
like to face this fact because in order for disparities to
disappear, wealthy rats must share their wealth. But this
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goes against the very grain of rat-ness, especially since the

source of all satisfaction is to see that others have less than
you. So there is a vested interest in rat societies to ensure
that disparities remain.
Interestingly, this focus on the other also produces

complacency. When you have more than others and when
everyone else is staring at you in envy, then there is no need
to strive for more. So enterprise dies once a certain amount
of stuff has been accumulated as there is nobody left to
impress or there is too much to protect. Real progress, be it
in knowledge or power, stops as rats don’t like to take risk.
Risk is essential to stretch the boundaries of the known and
explore ways of dealing with the unknown. Risk is essential
to learn how much more one can achieve. But risk has
within it the possibility of failure. Since rats are afraid of
failure, as this can result in their losing some of their
possessions, they hate risk and constantly seek safety. So
progress stops.
Since satisfaction comes only in comparison with others,

rats in power are despotic and tyrannical. It is from seeing
others kowtowing to them that they get a sense of
wellbeing. Loyalty to the king rat becomes the primary
virtue. Questioning of those in power or of whatever they
stand for is the cardinal sin. Rat societies become inward
looking and lose perspective and vision. The boundary
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between the ruler and the state disappears. The ruler says,
“I am the state.” Difference of opinion is seen as opposition
and disagreement with or disapproval of those in power
becomes treason. Rat societies equate the government with
the country and disagreement with one is seen as disloyalty
to the other. That is why in the Rat Race, even if you win,
you are still a rat. Ask yourself: How many rats do you
know? And is one of them the one you see in the mirror?
Now let us look at what it is to be a Cat.
The Cat is focused primarily on himself but unlike the rat

the cat focuses on developing its skill as a hunter. Cats don’t
hoard, so every day is a new opportunity to hunt. To
improve skills, to learn from previous mistakes, to take risk
and pit one’s own strengths and talents against external
forces. If cats are not successful in the hunt, they sleep
hungry. Hunger is a great driver. Cats teach their hunting
skills to their children and group mates because the survival
of the whole pride depends on the skills of everyone (Lions
are also cats, right?). Cats don’t live in a fixed place and
cover huge ranges in order to find prey. So they necessarily
develop perspective. They learn to create strategies for a
successful hunt. Cats know that their own survival depends
on the wellbeing of the entire pride and so they care for one
another.
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For the Cat, the focus is self-development and collaboration.
Arising out of this, I have identified some key characteristics

which I believe if a person develops he will become
entrepreneurial in nature and will become a winner in all
ways. I have described them in detail below but the way I
conceptualize them is as one arising from the other in a glow
of goodness. Becoming a cat is a lifelong journey of delight.
For cats don’t die. They turn into mist that rises from the
forest at dawn.
Excellence
Passion
Risk Taking
Courage
Faith
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Faith is the Foundation of Courage
Faith: A small word that has a big meaning. It can mean

different things to different people, so let me define what I
mean by ‘Faith.’ Faith is a dynamic process that is based on
the individual’s understanding of himself or herself in the
context of physical, intellectual, psychological, and spiritual
strength. That is why self-awareness and emotional
understanding is very important. Based on this s/he takes
risk and has success which reinforces the faith. When there
is a failure, if they analyze it and create a new strategy that
also reinforces the faith. Otherwise, faith can be shaken,
sometimes with failures.
Faith is the sure knowledge that one will succeed in one’s

endeavor. To do all that is required and then to trust that
the result will be favorable. This may sound irrational. But
it is a very critical element of the combination. It is the final
ingredient in the mix that produces success. Without faith
you reach the end of your strength and find nothing to
sustain you across the leap…the leap of faith. I like to use
the words of Barbara Winters to describe faith: “When you
come to the end of the light of all that you know and are
about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith
is knowing that one of two things will happen; there will
be something firm to stand on, or you will be taught how
to fly.”
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Faith is knowing with complete certainty that Allah will

do what He promised in the Qur’an: Sura At-Talaaq: 2-3:
“For the one who has consciousness of Allah (and fears His
displeasure – has taqwa) Allah will extract him from all his
difficulties. And will provide him from sources that he could not
imagine. For the one who has faith in Allah, verily He (Allah) will
become sufficient for him.”
It is this faith that gives courage. The courage to take the

unpopular stance. To speak the truth before the tyrant. To
stand up for the oppressed. To do what needs to be done no
matter how difficult. To follow your dream. It is this faith
that lights the path on the long, dark road in the late reaches
of the night when all about you are asleep and you are
sitting wondering if the road that you have chosen to walk
is really worth it or not. When human awareness and
resistance to adversity is at its lowest, faith is the small, clear
voice in your heart which tells you that what you are doing
is right and gives you the courage to carry on.
Courage Enables Risk-taking
When one operates with courage, taking risk becomes

possible. Courage is not what you have before you start. It
is what comes when you take the first step. When you first
stand up, your heart is fluttering, your knees are weak and
your throat is dry. But as you stand up and all eyes turn to
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you, a cool breeze blows and you suddenly find steel

inserted into your spine. You stand taller, your senses are
enhanced, your eyes are bright and the voice that comes out
of your throat is firm and confident. It is as if you are
standing to one side listening to yourself speaking words
you did not know you had in you. Explaining things that
were themselves unclear to you until then. Yet when you
start to speak, you find that not only do the concepts become
clear but you are able to explain them with examples that
take people’s breath away in that moment of “Aha!!” that
comes not too often, but is remembered for all time when it
does. What you had thought of as risky until then seems so
easy and winning inevitable. And all that you are aware of
is the excitement of it all.
Risk-taking Creates Excitement
Excitement is the adrenalin flow no doubt. But more

importantly it is the door that opens onto the vista of new
possibilities; of things unspoken and only dreamt of until
then; of concepts still in the shadows on the far boundary of
knowledge; of what may be, of what can become. Imagine
that you have just reached the top of a steep mountain pass.
It was a long, hard climb, at times even dangerous, but you
made it. And now you step into the pass towards the gap in
the rock that is like a doorway. As you enter the door, you
come to the lip of the escarpment that overlooks a valley
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spread out below at your feet. Undulating grassland, hints

of blue suggesting a stream flowing into a lake in the far
distance, clumps of thick shade trees, the distant cacophony
of parakeets and other birds flying around from tree to tree
eating at will. The mist rising in the early morning from the
forest floor. Myriad smells, sights, and sounds. A cool
breeze comes up to greet you and invite you to step forward
taking the first step on the path leading to what new
discoveries you don’t know yet. I will leave you to imagine
the rest. Fill it with the images you want.
Experience the shortness of breath, the sparkling of your

eyes the warmth of the early morning sun on your face, the
hint of coming rain. Not the rain that spells cold and damp.
But the life giving rain that the dry earth prays for and waits
every day. This is the excitement that creates energy,
commitment and drive, for excitement after all is also fear
but which anticipates a happy ending.
Excitement Drives Passion
Passion soars on the wings of excitement. When a person

works with passion all the forces of nature collaborate to
help him. Much can be done with little. All the numbers add
up correctly. Time slows down to let him finish his task. The
train comes on time. The taxi man returns to him the things
that he forgot in the cab when he got off. Passion invokes
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passion. Others who come into contact with the person who
works with passion get energized. Suddenly, they start to
see meaning in what they do which until then they had been
doing mechanically. People who work with passionate
people report an enhanced sense of satisfaction and
accomplishment. They look forward to each day, to be with
their leader and to do what pleases him.
I believe most firmly that one must identify what one is

passionate about and develop expertise in it. Then when
one does that work there is no stress for one is doing what
one loves. It is but natural that if you love something and
learn to do it, you will do it well. There is a clear difference
between the work of someone who is merely doing a job
and another who is answering a calling. For one it is earning
a living at best. For the other it is fulfillment of his life’s
purpose. It is answering a Covenant. Imagine a life that is
led, every day of which is a joy to live. That is what being
passionate bestows on you.
Passion drives Excellence
It is but natural that someone who is passionate about

something will want to do it in the best possible manner.
And that is what excellence is all about. To continuously
search for a better way, a more profitable, compassionate,
beautiful or exciting way to accomplish the goal. It is
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excellence which makes you do that which the world may

consider strange. Excellence is to care more than others
think is wise; to risk more than others think is safe; to dream
more than others think is practical; and to expect from
oneself more than others think is possible. It is only in the
search for excellence that new discoveries are made and
better ways are found. It is not competing against others but
a race to achieve one’s own potential by pushing the
boundaries of one’s own knowledge, capability, power and
influence. Striving for excellence generates respect, attracts
followers and enhances ones influence.
Excellence creates Brand
And in the end the result of this virtuous spiral is

‘differentiation’.
Why differentiate? Because differentiation creates brand.

Brand creates loyalty. Loyalty creates influence and it is the
foundation of leadership. Brand creates identity. It enables
the leader to stand out and not blend in with the crowd. It
makes him the standard bearer to whose standard the
others rally. It makes him the light in the darkness which
those who are lost seek, to find the way once again. Positive
differentiation creates customers who are loyal and who
choose you over your competitors. Producers of products
and services strive to differentiate from their competition in
39
ways that are desirable to their customers and which

address a particular key need of their clients so that their
clients will choose their product or service over that of their
competitors’. The same logic applies in human
development. The drive for excellence enables the person to
create that positive differentiation which makes him a
brand in himself.
And that is the essence of being a Cat. To be the best that

you can be, without worrying about what the other is doing.
You still do the best that you can do even if nobody is
looking. You behave with grace, nobility, compassion,
wisdom, and honor not because of what others are doing or
not doing but because you are YOU. You do it because your
behavior defines you and it arises from your beliefs and
values. You do, so you get, so you are. And that is what your
legacy is. To live the message that success is to do the best
that you can do because only that is worthy of you.
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Criteria for Decision Making
Life is full of decisions; there is seldom a time in our lives

when we aren’t grappling with one tough decision or
another. Whether it’s related to work or family, or to any
one of countless other aspects of life, we constantly find
ourselves asking questions like ‘should I or shouldn't I?’ or
‘should I go in this direction or that?’ We go back-and-forth
between what seem to us to be equally good options, not
knowing which will bring us the most benefit in the long
term.
We live in a world where access to information is ever

easier, faster and more comprehensive. There is huge
penetration of technology which has made life both easy
and more complex. We are deluged with information on a
daily basis which leaves most people bewildered and
unable to make sense of what they are seeing or reading.
The result is a society that is for the most part ‘ill informed’
if one is to translate information as ‘understanding.’ Most
people simply don’t have the tools to make sense of what
they are presented with. It is therefore necessary for parents
to equip their children with these tools. I believe there are
two tools which are critical to this process: Integrity and a
focus on creating a legacy.
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Integrity:
I define integrity as the willingness to become a standard
bearer for your beliefs and values. To be willing to be held
to account for them and to have the confidence that he will
not be found lacking when that happens. Integrity is the
honesty to be true to yourself. To have complete congruence
between belief, thought, word, and action. To live what you
believe in and value. Integrity is to focus on your legacy and
always to ask, ‘What do I want to be remembered for?’
Integrity is the ability to look yourself in the face and to
accept your mistakes and not make excuses for them. It is
the willingness to accept responsibility for your words and
actions and their consequences and to make amends if those
are undesirable.
Creating a Legacy:
The second criterion for decision making is to differentiate
between short term and long term and to visualize what the
long term effects of present decisions are likely to be. As
Muslims it is to remember that one day we will be called to
account before Allah for what we did or chose not to do.
Children must be taught to analyze their options in terms of
their potential consequences and while we have no
knowledge of the unseen or the future, good analysis can
help us to see possible scenarios and to decide intelligently
between them. When this is done, it is essential to focus on
the long term and not do things which may seem beneficial
42
immediately but are likely to have negative consequences

in the long run. Almost every national or international
problem that we face today is the result of making
shortsighted decisions for short term gain; easily avoidable
if only the focus of decision making had been to create a
legacy of honor.
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Connection with Allah: Tawheed &

Uboodiya
Muslim children must be taught to connect with Allah.

They must be introduced to Allah, to His Majesty and His
Glory; to His accounting on the Day of Judgment. To the
duty that we owe to Him, to be grateful for all that He has
given us and to judge ourselves by the integrity with which
we fulfill this duty. They must grow up with a profound
sense of Uboodiya (sense of being a slave of Allah) whose
only purpose in life is to submit to Allah completely in
everything that they say or do. Muslim children must grow
up hearing the name of Allah, the recitation of His Word
in all its power and majesty. They must grow up hearing the
name of His Messenger and the stories of his life. Muslim
children must grow up with confidence in their Deen, with
pride in being Muslim, with their hearts beating for the love
of Allah and with love for His Messenger and a sense of
belonging to the global brotherhood of Islam; the Ummah.
Al Hashr 59: 21. Had We sent down this Qur'ân on a mountain,

you would surely have seen it humbling itself and rending
asunder by the fear of Allâh. Such are the parables which We put
forward to mankind that they may reflect. 22. He is Allâh, than
Whom there is Lâ ilâha illa Huwa (none has the right to be
worshipped but He) the All-Knower of the unseen and the seen
(open). He is the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.23. He is
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Allâh than Whom there is Lâ ilâha illa Huwa (none has the right
to be worshipped but He) the King, the Holy, the One Free from
all defects, the Giver of security, the Watcher over His creatures,
the All-Mighty, the Compeller, the Supreme. Glory be to Allâh!
(High is He) above all that they associate as partners with
Him.24. He is Allâh, the Creator, the Inventor of all things, the
Bestower of forms. To Him belong the Best Names. All that is in
the heavens and the earth glorify Him. And He is the All-Mighty,
the All-Wise.
Tarbiyya is a function of contact with elders in age and

knowledge. Children need teachers. My very first teacher
was my mother. I remember how she would hold my hand
and lead me out into the night when the moon was full and
we would sit together on the doorstep and look at the
beauty of the full moon.
We lived in a very small village in North Kanara called Sirsi

where at the time electricity was in short supply. Most of
the time in our home the light was from kerosene lanterns.
There were no street lights and the forest was always near.
That meant that there was little ambient light and the full
glory of the moon was visible. My mother would say to me,
‘Look at the moon. Isn’t it beautiful? That is a creation of
Allah. So is the sun. That is why we worship Allah and
not the sun or moon.’ I was two years old at the time.
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My mother would point out all sorts of small things to me;

birds, flowers, sunrises and sunsets, and say the same
things – the glory of Allah. She was my teacher of Qur’an.
She didn’t teach me the rules of Tajweed. She just taught me
to read and she did it correctly. She never made me read
until I was tired. So I looked forward to the lessons. By the
time I was six, I had heard every story of every prophet of
Allah which He mentioned in the Qur’an. All the
prophets were real to me, not story characters. Not only did
I know the stories, I was used to considering my own
actions in terms of their lives. That was how my mother
taught me. The names of the prophets, of Allah and
Rasoolullah were part of normal conversation.
My father would lead us in Salah. We lived very far from

any masjid but we prayed all Salawaat by Jama’a at home. I
would call the Adhaan and my father would lead us. In
Ramadan my brother and I would go for Taraweeh with my
father. The masjid had a cold stone floor on which was a
paper thin praying mat. If we got there early we would be
able to stand on it. Otherwise it was the stone floor all the
way. There was only one small bulb to give whatever it
could by means of illumination so we would pray in semi-
darkness.
The Imam would recite the Qur’an in the normal sub-

continental fashion, at great speed. We didn’t understand a
46
word. But we stood in silence. At that time I was eight and

my brother six.
On special occasions we would go to listen to lectures by

scholars. These would invariably take place after the Isha
Salah and go on for at least 3 hours almost until midnight.
All that time we would sit quietly on the cold hard stone
floor which gradually warmed with our bodies, our eyes
fixed on the speaker. It didn’t even occur to us to complain
or that not going was a choice. Our father went and we were
his sons, so we naturally accompanied him.
In later years, I recalled vividly the Ayaat that I heard

during these lectures, the subjects dealt with, and the
messages conveyed. After the lecture was over, we would
have a leisurely cup of tea with my father’s friends and
sometimes the scholar whose speech we had just heard. Our
job, my brother and I, was to say salaam and simply sit
silently and listen. If something had to be brought or taken
away, we did it. Otherwise we listened. I can’t tell you how
valuable and beneficial these hours were for our education.
Most of what we heard initially went over our heads but
gradually as we grew we understood and ended up with a
worldview and perspective on life which was far ahead of
our age.
The conversation that I was privy to ranged from global

politics – Palestine was an issue even then – to Test Cricket
47
to the antics of our own politicians. My father’s greatest

desire was to go and work in his field – medicine – in
Palestine. He would tell us about the history of Palestine
and to the end of his days, he would pray for the
Palestinians and Al Aqsa in Tahajjud. We would all sit
together as a family and listened to the news on radio. My
father relied faithfully on two radio stations: BBC World
Service and The Voice of America. But those were the days
when journalists still spoke the truth and journalism had
not degenerated into the corporate propaganda that it has
become. Islam was always a part of these conversations.
My father loved the poetry of Allama Iqbal and knew

hundreds of lines of it. He would sit with us (my mother
shared his enthusiasm and knowledge – she is a poet
herself) and recite the poetry and explain Iqbal’s concepts to
us. His explanations would include the meaning and how
what Iqbal wrote about reflected in present day society and
politics of the Muslims. It was an education in itself.
Literature and poetry are great ways to gain perspective on
life and my father’s generation used them to the fullest
extent. To be able to quote appropriate poetry in letters,
formal speeches and ordinary conversation was a sign of
having had a good education. Farsi was often the language
of choice in quoting poetry and proverbs of Sa’adi, Ghazali,
and Rumi; amazing words of wisdom that speak across the
centuries and underline that knowledge has no bounds.
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Islam to us at that time, when I was growing up, did not

only mean going to the masjid but being able to interpret all
of our everyday living in the light of the Qur’an, Sunnah,
and the Aqwaal (sayings) of the wise.
In retrospect, I recall that there were almost no discussions

on Fiqh or issues of the differences between the Madhaa’ib.
But there were numerous discussions and reminders about
the greatness of Allah, Islamic history, the Seerah of
Rasoolullah and his Sahaba, the lives of the prophets and
of our own elders, many of whom were scholars.
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Investing in Holistic Development
It is common when we talk about ‘overall development of

the child’ we mean his or her development in school studies,
sports and communication skills – if we even go that far. I
don’t know how many of us even mean, let alone mention,
the spiritual development of the child – even though as
Muslims it is our belief that spiritual development is the
only thing that will last through all of eternity. How many
of us are concerned that our children find no sweetness of
connecting to Allah in their Salawaat (prayers)? How
many of us are concerned that our children don’t actively
use dua as a tool to get their work done? How many of us
are concerned that our children pray or read Qur’an more
as a have-to-do burden to be discharged and not as
something to look forward to and enjoy? How many of us
are even concerned that we have children who are in their
twenties and thirties – who can’t recite Sura Al Fatiha or
lead two Raka’at of Salah in Fajr properly? Finally how
many of us are concerned that we have children who when
we die will have no clue what to do with us – how to wash
the body, how to pray Salatul Janaza and how to bury us
and these final service to the parents is going to be handed
over to hired help. What a tragic story of our lack of focus
on the spiritual development of our children!
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So what should you do?
The spirit grows and strengthens at the expense of the Nafs

– base desire. The stronger the Nafs, the weaker the Rooh –
spirit. The Nafs grows stronger every time you feed it. Until
it grows so strong that it overcomes the spirit and leaves it
weak and starved. So teach them the value of denying the
desires of the Nafs. First they are food and toys. Later they
are bodily pleasures and more expensive toys. Truly has it
been said that the difference between men (read grown
boys) and boys is the price of their toys. The mental level of
someone who collects Dinky toy cars at age 5 is the same as
someone who collects real cars – Ferraris and Lamborghinis
– at fifty. Both are boys, happy with new toys. Getting
petulant and unhappy once the newness wears off, ever
hungering for a new toy. People carry this forward to their
relationships and leave a trail of broken marriages behind
them. They carry the same trend to their careers and hop
company to company until they are too old to hop and have
collected no experience of value except how to hop – as if
that has any value.
Denying the Nafs is called delaying gratification in

psychology and is a critical sign of success measured in little
children. Delaying gratification is the essence of focusing on
the Aakhira – where a person invests for a return he will
only see after he dies and yet he invests because he has faith
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in the banker who promised him the return that no

investment in the world can hope to equal. This is called
Yaqeen. So teaching children to delay gratification and to
work for the long term is a very important part of their
development and absolutely critical to success. Yet we pay
no attention to it and unthinkingly reinforce the opposite –
instant gratification – by throwing toys, food, money,
gadgets and sensations at our children, just to ‘keep them
quiet’. What actually happens is something we shut our
eyes to – we teach them that the more they make a nuisance
of themselves, the more toys they will get and thereby we
script their sure failure in life. I don’t think we have to look
too far to see great examples of the results of a life lived for
instant gratification. Our consumerist society is based on
instant gratification which is why we have malls and stores
which are open 24x7 – so that you won’t even need to wait
until morning to satisfy your desire. This is what makes the
world go around, but we don’t see that this is the death spin
of the whirlpool which sucks the unwary into it, to be pulled
down to destruction.
Another script for failure is the one where we teach our

children not to collaborate and share with their siblings but
to compete and guard their possessions jealously at the cost
of the happiness of a brother or sister. I am sure this sounds
bad to you, but ask yourself what you do when one child
has a toy which the other one wants and there is trouble
52
between them. Nine times out of ten, you tell the other child,
‘Don’t worry, I will get you another one.’ Stop and ask
yourself what you are really teaching the children when you
do this. You are teaching the child that it is okay to compete
with your own brother or sister; it is okay to keep your
assets to yourself and not share; that it is okay to disregard
your sibling’s feelings and that material possessions are
more important than ties of family, brotherhood and love. I
am sure you may well be shocked to see this interpretation
of something that you considered harmless even if you ever
stopped to consider. But reflect and see what your grown
children are doing today and trace their behavior today to
its roots and you will see the childhood tantrums – excellent
opportunities to teach critical life lessons – which you
wasted and instead you sowed the seeds for the present
discord. I know families were brother doesn’t talk to
brother, where the children of one brother are disrespectful
to their uncle and aunt and their behavior is silently and
tacitly approved of by their own parents. I know of families
where children have sued parents over inheritance. I know
families where lawyers get fat on the fees from litigation
galore, brother against brother and sister against sister.
At the same time, I also know families where brothers have

voluntarily given up their share of inheritance to the sisters
saying, ‘We have enough and we want reward
from Allah.’ I know a family where the brothers and
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sisters agreed to build a masjid on the site of their parent’s

home saying that they have enough and the masjid will be
a source of Thawaab-ul-Jaariya for their parents and
themselves. How fortunate are those parents and what a
powerful message those children have given to their own
children about the value of staying together and having
concern for one another. The reason I mention this is so that
we can see that such behavior is not restricted to our Salaf-
us-Saliheen but can be and is practiced by those who truly
follow the Salaf. Because following someone is not to talk
about what they did but to do what they did.
Concern for the spiritual development of your child is a sign

of your own faith, your own Yaqeen in the Aakhira – for
only the one who has Yaqeen will prepare for it. To quote
the famous Hadith of Rasoolullah about Thawaab-ul-
Jaariya, where: Abu Hurairah narrated
that Rasoolullah said, "When a man dies, his good deeds
come to an end except three: ongoing charity, beneficial
knowledge, and righteous offspring who will pray for
him." (Muslim)
Commenting on this hadith, Imam An-Nawawi (may Allah

have mercy on him) stated,
The scholars said, the meaning of this hadith is that the deeds of
the deceased come to an end as soon as he or she dies, and the
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renewal of reward ceases for him or her, except in these three

cases because he or she is the cause of them:
• his or her offspring is counted among his or her earnings,
• the knowledge that he or she leaves behind through
teaching or writing,
• ongoing charity, i.e. a Waqf (Islamic endowment).
The narration below adds further details:

Abu Hurairah narrated that Rasoolullah said, “Good
deeds that will reach a believer after his death are:
knowledge which he learned and then spread; a righteous
son whom he leaves behind; a copy of the Qur'an that he
leaves as a legacy; a mosque that he built; a house that he
built for wayfarers; a canal that he dug; or charity that he
gave during his lifetime when he was in good health. These
deeds will reach him after his death." (Ibn Majah —
authenticated by Al-Albani)
The biggest thing to remember and face is that our children

are not going to be developed spiritually if we are ourselves
lacking. Children listen with their eyes and imbibe through
observation. If you are addicted to junk food and television
– be prepared for a fat child who is most likely going to
grow up to be a low achiever with heart disease. If you are
addicted to the Qur’an and Tahajjud, then be prepared for a
child who will stay up in the night to serve you when you
are old and sick and need attention. If you are addicted to
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shopping and buying stuff you don’t need to impress

people you don’t like, then be prepared for a child who will
measure his self-worth by the label on his shirt or the brand
of his cell phone instead of by the excellence of his manners
or the purity of his character. Remember that to live from
sensation to sensation by indiscriminately gratifying every
urge as soon as it arises is the definition of the life of
animals. What makes us human is not lack of body hair and
walking on our hind legs, but the ability to reflect, learn
lessons, and invest for results we can’t see today. That is
why I tell people, ‘Decide if you have children or kids. Kids
are the young of goats. Children need upbringing – not
merely food and shelter.’ So decide who you are for that is
what your children will grow up to be.
Focus on the spiritual development of your children

because in that is their success this world and the next. A
child who is focused on pleasing Allah will automatically
be good to his parents, siblings and family. He will be
respectful and compassionate. He will be respectful to
elders and affectionate to youngsters. His life will be orderly
as it will be governed by the fact that he has to present
himself before his Rabb five times a day. He will know the
sweetness of connecting to Allah and so he will seek
opportunities to do so, starting with Tahajjud – the time of
maximum signal strength. He will know the value of
investing in his Aakhira and so will be generous and
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charitable especially when it comes to projects that benefit

Islam and Muslims. He will be a good neighbor and a
productive and law abiding member of society and will be
respected by all those he lives with. He will never fall into
drug abuse, alcohol or tobacco addiction and all the other
vices so common in our modern society that to list them is
a waste of time. He will be conscious of the presence of
AllahY in his life at all times and so will be someone who is
ashamed to commit sin and quick to make Tawba. About
such Rasoolullah informed us in the Hadith Qudsi that
Allah said:
On the authority of Anas who said: I heard

Rasoolullah say:
“Allah said: 'O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and
ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall
not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of
the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive
you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as
great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no
partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as
it." [At-Tirmidhi and Musnad Imam Ahmad.]
A child who is focused on pleasing Allah and on his own

spiritual development is someone who will love the Sunnah
of Rasoolullah because he will understand that this is the
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outward manifestation of his own Imaan in the

Messenger of Allah. He will know that to claim to be a
Muslim and to deliberately go against the Sunnah is to give
the lie to yourself and will result in embarrassment and
suffering in the grave when the person will not be able to
answer the question: ‘What do you say about the man who
was sent among you?’ How can he say, ‘He was
the Messenger of Allah and I believed in him and
followed him,’ when in fact his life will show that he did
neither? A child who is developed spiritually will be one
about whom Allah said:
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah who said

that Rasoolullah said:
"Allah said: Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to

Me, I shall be at war with him. My slave draws not near to Me
with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have
enjoined upon him, and My slave continues to draw near to Me
with voluntary works so that I shall love him. When I love him I
am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees,
his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks.
Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him,
and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do
not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing]
the soul of My faithful slave: he hates death and I hate hurting
him." [Bukhari]
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Ask yourself what is the value of the dua of a Wali of

Allah especially for your forgiveness when you are lying
in your grave unable to help yourself in any way. If that dua
has value, then realize that it has been given into your hands
to create Awliya-Allah.
Do you want to do that or do you want to simply bring up

the young of goats – kids?
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So Who is Allah
The foundational concept of Islam is At-Tawheed

(Monotheism) the worship of Allah alone, without any
partners or sons or daughters or relatives or shareholders in
His Majesty, work or creation.
Allah introduces Himself thus:
Hashr 59:22-24 He is Allâh, than Whom there is Lâ ilâha illa

Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He) the All-
Knower of the unseen and the seen (open). He is the Most
Beneficent, the Most Merciful. He is Allâh than Whom there is Lâ
ilâha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He) the
King, the Holy, the One Free from all defects, the Giver of security,
the Watcher over His creatures, the All-Mighty, the Compeller,
the Supreme. Glory be to Allâh! (High is He) above all that they
associate as partners with Him. He is Allâh, the Creator, the
Inventor of all things, the Bestower of forms. To Him belong the
Best Names. All that is in the heavens and the earth glorify Him.
And He is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise.
In another place Allah introduces himself thus:

Nur 24:35 Allâh is the Light of the heavens and the earth.
The parable of His Light is as (if there were) a niche and within it
a lamp, the lamp is in glass, the glass as it were a brilliant star, lit
from a blessed tree, an olive, neither of the east (it does not get only
the morning sun) nor of the west (it does not get only the evening
sun, but it is exposed to the sun all day long), whose oil would
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almost glow forth (of itself), though no fire touched it. Light upon
Light! Allâh guides to His Light whom He wills. And Allâh sets
forth parables for mankind, and Allâh is All-Knower of
everything.
And in another place He introduces himself thus:
Baqara 2: 255 Allâh! Lâ ilâha illa Huwa (none has the right to
be worshipped but He), the Ever Living, the One Who sustains
and protects all that exists. Neither slumber, nor sleep overtakes
Him. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is
on earth. Who is he that can intercede with Him except with His
Permission? He knows what happens to them (His creatures) in
this world, and what will happen to them in the Hereafter. And
they will never compass anything of His Knowledge except that
which He wills. His Kursî (footstool) extends over the heavens and
the earth, and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving
them. And He is the Most High, the Most Great.
It was this majesty of address that struck me first when I

read these verses. When you hear them in Arabic and if you
understand the language, the effect is to shake you to your
foundations; to spontaneously bring tears to your eyes and
for your heart to shake with the awesome power of the
speech of Allah.
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This is God speaking to man. It is my Creator speaking to

ME. Now if that does not shake you, nothing will. Then I
looked further and found this:
Baqara 2: 186 And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad)

concerning Me, then I am indeed near. I respond to the
invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them
obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be guided.
A promise of mercy and guidance which touched my heart.

I was living in troubled times and I asked for help and
protection. I looked further in His Book and this is what I
found:
Talaq 65:2-3 And whosoever fears Allâh and keeps his duty to
Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every
difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could
imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will be
sufficient for him.
Nisa 4:45 Allâh has full knowledge of your enemies, and Allâh
is Sufficient as a Walî (Protector), and Allâh is Sufficient as a
Helper.
It is not my intention to mention all the times that I turned

to the Qur’an and found the guidance that it promises right
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up front when Allah teaches us in the very first chapter to

ask for guidance:
Fatiha 1-7 In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the
Most Merciful. All the praises and thanks be to Allâh, the Lord of
the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists). The Most
Beneficent, the Most Merciful. The Only Owner (and the Only
Ruling Judge) of the Day of Recompense (Day of Judgment). You
(Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for
everything). Guide us to the Straight Way. The Way of those on
whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who
earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray
And then in the next chapter He describes the Qur’an as a

book of guidance for those who believe in Allah; who
have Taqwa.
Baqara 2: 2 This is the Book (the Qur'ân), in which there is no

doubt, a guidance to those who are Al-Muttaqûn [the pious and
righteous people who fear and love Allah and seek to please Him
always.]
I have quoted these verses to show the foundational concept

of At-Tawheed (Monotheism) that is central to Islam. A
connection between me and my Creator who is alive and
real and who listens and responds to me. Muslims don’t
worship any concept or any mythological figures who share
many of our own attributes, weaknesses, and desires. Only
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the One who needs nothing and who everyone and

everything needs is worthy of worship. Only the One who
is beyond and above all weakness and the source of infinite
power and mercy is worthy of worship.
Muslims therefore don’t worship anything in creation. They

worship the Creator alone. They don’t worship any saint or
prophet, concept or theory, land or flag. They don’t worship
even Muhammad, the Prophet of Islam. In fact that was a
specific order from him in the last days when he was
approaching death when he said, “Don’t make my grave a
place of worship. May Allah curse and destroy those who
make the graves of their saints and prophets places of
worship.”
So Muslims don’t worship Muhammad, they worship the

Rabb and Creator of Muhammad. Muslims don’t worship
the sun or the moon or the stars but the Creator of all
celestial bodies. They don’t worship rivers or mountains or
lakes or the sea but the Creator of all of them who made
them, who changes their courses or causes them to flow or
dry up.
Muslims understand the scientific reasons how things

happen but they see the real reason why the scientific
reason comes into play – the order of Allah. That is why
Islam accepts and honors all scientific knowledge as it only
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confirms the power of the Creator. Muslims recognize that

science peels back the appearance of things to reveal their
underlying nature and that Islam peels back the appearance
of things to reveal their underlying purpose. Muslims don’t
confuse the nature with the purpose. They don’t confuse the
‘how’ with the ‘why’. They know that each has its place and
that the ‘why’ always supersedes the ‘how’. This is because
the method is always subservient to the purpose. Allah
decides the purpose and creates the phenomena to manifest
His will.
Muslims don’t believe that the creation of the earth was an

accident. Muslims believe that Allah created the earth for
His purpose. Today the scientific community talks about
the probability of this. They admit that there is a one in
trillion ‘chance’ that all the necessary factors could come
together at the appointed time and place to make the earth
inhabitable? And yet people find it difficult to accept that
the only way that could have happened was if it was not
‘chance’ at all but a deliberate action of the Creator. Muslims
have no difficulty believing this. That is why we worship
Allah because nobody else could have made it happen.
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Love or Fear?
A source of much confusion among people is this

hypothetical question, “Should God be loved or feared?”
In Islam the answer lies in our understanding of who

Allah is. I have mentioned several instances where
Allah introduced Himself to us. One thing becomes clear
from this, which is that even though there is a connection
between mankind and God, He is nothing like us. Allah
is not a superman with superior powers but also with
failings, moods, emotions, motivations or thoughts similar
to human beings.
Allah doesn’t tire of labor as we do because He does not

labor as we do. So He does not need to rest. Allah is not
subject to time or space because He is the Creator of both
time and space. For Allah, the past, present and future are
all the same and He is aware of whatever there is in all of
them simultaneously. For Allah there is no day or night
because He is the Creator of the sun and the moon, of day
and night. He did not create man in His own image because
He is not limited by images or designs. It is not necessary
for the carpenter to look like the chair he creates; so also the
Creator of mankind does not need to look like a man. So He
created man in the image that He wished man to be. He
created Adam in the image of man – the final product as
an adult. Adam was the prototype of man, of mankind
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and so he was never a baby, toddler, youngster or teenager.

He was given life, was born – so to speak – as an adult.
Allah created Adam in his own image – meaning in the
final image of Adam himself. Adam was the
prototype. He was created from clay and then Allah
created the system for his multiplication through a
biological reproductive process. Allah created Adam
just as he created the starfish, the stingray, the bar-headed
goose, the blue whale and the elephant; in the image that He
wished. Allah creates what He wills, how He wills, when
He wills. He is not bound by any rules, constraints or
boundaries. He is Allah.
He creates to display His power; His ability to create in

infinite ways and forms. So that those with intelligence will
recognize the hand of the Creator in the images He creates
and will worship the Creator and not the image. Mankind
gets overawed with creatures and starts to worship them
instead of recognizing that it is not any mountain or river or
any celestial body or animal or human who is worthy of
worship but the One who created them all and who sustains
them as He wills, as long as He wills and will end them
when He wills.
This is Islam.
He said about this uniqueness of His Being:
67
Shu’ara 42:11 The Creator of the heavens and the earth. He has
made for you mates from yourselves, and for the cattle (also)
mates. By this means He creates you (in the wombs). There is
nothing like Him, and He is the All-Hearer, the All-Seer.
Allah clearly says that there is nothing like Him; that

nothing in the creation resembles Him in form or power or
nature or majesty or glory and to emphasize this He
mentions just two of His powers, All-Seeing and All-
Hearing. So the first feeling that one gets when one
contemplates on the Glory and Majesty of Allah is that of
awe. It is not fear as in being afraid of something that has
the potential to cause harm. Neither is it love as in the love
we feel for other creatures; human and non-human.
Just as Allah is above His creatures, his relationship with

the creatures is also unlike the relationship of the creatures
between themselves. It is out of this awe then that arises the
feeling of love for Him for all the blessings that we enjoy
and all the care and concern for our welfare that is manifest
in all His actions and all that He does for us. This is a very
much higher and sublime love arising out of awe.
As I’ve mentioned earlier, fear is a part of this feeling, as in

fearing to displease someone who created us, sustains us
and to whom is our return to give an account of our lives;
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whether we obeyed Him or disobeyed Him; to be rewarded

or punished. Naturally at one level we are afraid of the
power of Allah. And this fear is very good to have as it
keeps us safe from all disobedience. We fear His anger, we
fear His punishment, we fear to displease Him. But at
another level we are also aware of His Mercy, His
Forgiveness, and His power to forgive all the sins of the one
who repents his mistakes and seeks to return to Him as an
obedient slave. His Mercy overshadows His anger.
Zumar 39: 53-54. Say: "O 'Ibâdî (My slaves) who have
transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and
sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allâh, verily Allâh forgives all
sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. 54. "And turn
in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islâm) to your
Lord and submit to Him, (in Islâm), before the torment comes
upon you; then you will not be helped.
In Islam we believe that Allah is the only one who can

forgive sins and can do so at will. He does not punish one
for the sins of another and so Muslims don’t believe that
Jesus or anyone else died for the sins of others. Allah said:
Nobody will carry another’s burden. Each person will be
punished for his own deeds or be rewarded for them. That
is justice and in Islam justice comes before everything else
and oppression and injustice is the worst sin. Shirk is the
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worst oppression because it is an attempt to be unjust to

Allah.
Najm 53: 38. That no burdened person (with sins) shall bear the
burden (sins) of another
Zumar 39: 7. If you disbelieve, then verily, Allâh is not in need of

you, He likes not disbelief for His slaves. And if you are grateful
(by being believers), He is pleased therewith for you. No bearer of
burdens shall bear the burden of another. Then to your Lord is
your return, so He will inform you what you used to do. Verily,
He is the All-Knower of that which is in (men's) breasts.
Fatir 35: 18. And no bearer of burdens shall bear another's

burden, and if one heavily laden calls another to (bear) his load,
nothing of it will be lifted even though he be near of kin. You (O
Muhammad) can warn only those who fear their Lord unseen, and
perform As-Salât (Iqâmat as Salât). And he who purifies himself
(from all kinds of sins), then he purifies only for the benefit of his
ownself. And to Allâh is the (final) Return (of all).
Isra 17:15. Whoever goes right, then he goes right only for the
benefit of his own self. And whoever goes astray, then he goes
astray to his own loss. No one laden with burdens can bear
another's burden. And We never punish until We have sent a
Messenger (to give warning).
70
Anam 6:164. Say: "Shall I seek a lord other than Allâh, while He
is the Lord of all things? No person earns any (sin) except against
himself (only), and no bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of
another. Then unto your Lord is your return, so He will tell you
that wherein you have been differing."
Nobody will carry another’s burden because firstly it would

be a very unjust thing to do, to torture someone who is
innocent because someone else committed a sin. Secondly
because Allah has the power to forgive who He wills and
so does not need to sacrifice anyone in order to forgive. All
that is required is that the one, who committed the sin, is
genuinely repentant and gives up his evil actions and asks
for pardon. That is why in Islam we believe that Messengers
and Prophets came to warn and to show the right way. They
did not come to die for others as Allah has no need to kill
them in order to forgive anyone. If we repent sincerely
Allah forgives us and that’s all that there’s to it. His Mercy
has no bounds. Neither does His Forgiveness. He forgives
all those who ask to be forgiven.
Allah’s power is absolute and without limits. He is not

limited or forced to torture His Messengers or to kill them
in order to forgive those who seek forgiveness. This is not
even logical to believe. We as humans would be amazed
and flabbergasted if our bosses punished us because
someone else committed a crime. In feudal times, princes of
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royal blood used to have ‘whipping boys’ who the teacher

would punish if the prince did anything wrong since as a
commoner the teacher had no authority to strike or punish
the prince. This was eventually abolished as it was rightly
considered highly unjust and unacceptable. Yet we choose
to believe this about a Prophet of Allah and about Allah
Himself. This is because those who hold this belief ascribe
to Allah their own limitations and frailties. Allah is free
from and high above all that they associate with Him.
Allah can and does forgive anyone who is repentant and

asks to be forgiven. It’s that simple. Moreover, the Mercy of
Allah is such that not only did He promise to forgive all
the sins of those who repent but He said that He would
convert them to good deeds. Now what’s better than that?
Furqan 25:70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islâmic
Monotheism), and do righteous deeds, for those, Allâh will change
their sins into good deeds, and Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful. 71. And whosoever repents and does righteous good
deeds, then verily, he repents towards Allâh with true repentance
This is Islam’s message of love. A message of the love of the

Creator for His creatures which is based on the creatures
recognizing the Creator, worshipping Him and being
obedient to Him. Allah loves the obedient. The
disobedient display arrogance and Allah hates those who
are arrogant.
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The Muslim stands before Allah in a state that is between

hope of forgiveness and fear of retribution. We supplicate
to Allah and worship Him, afraid of His anger which we
richly deserve yet hopeful of being forgiven as we approach
Him with penitence and beg His pardon. Allah said about
this:
Sajda 32 15-18. Only those believe in Our Ayat (revelation,

signs), who, when they are reminded of them fall down prostrate,
and glorify the Praises of their Lord, and they are not
proud.16. Their sides forsake their beds (worship in the night), to
invoke their Lord in fear and hope, and they spend (charity in
Allâh's Cause) out of what We have bestowed on them.17. No
person knows what is kept hidden for them of joy as a reward for
what they used to do.18. Is then he who is a believer; like him who
is Fâsiq (disbeliever and disobedient to Allâh)? Not equal are they.
Allah is real to us; meeting Him is something we look

forward to and work all our lives to try to ensure that the
meeting is a good one. A man came to Rasoolullah and
said, ‘I make dua that my last day is my best day.’ He smiled
and said, ‘That is a very good dua.’ For the one who lives
with the consciousness of Allah all his life, who uses the
pleasure of Allah as the criterion for all decisions, who
tries to do his best to please Allah and repents and asks
His forgiveness when he makes mistakes; for the one who
doesn’t deliberately disobey Allah, is not rebellious and
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inclined towards sin; the forgiveness of Allah is

something that he looks forward to and relies upon. To
despair of the forgiveness of Allah is to deny His attribute
and is Kufr. The Muslim relies on the forgiveness of Allah
with certainty and sees that as his main and only means of
deliverance.
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Connection with Muhammad
Introduce them to Rasoolullah. Truly unfortunate are

those Muslims who don’t know their own leader. Let your
children be the ones to educate them and open their eyes to
the man who Allah sent as an example for all mankind
until the end of time.
Islam is based on two things: Worship of Allah alone,

without any partners and following His Messenger
Muhammad as the last and final in a long line of
illustrious messengers sent to all of mankind. Allah called
the coming of His Messenger Muhammad-ur Rasoolullah
a great favor from Himself on the Muslims, which indeed it
was.
Aal-Imraan 3:164 Indeed Allâh conferred a great favour

on the believers when He sent among them a Messenger
(Muhammad) from among themselves, reciting unto them His
Verses (the Qur'ân), and purifying them (from sins by their
following him), and instructing them (in) the Book (the Qur'ân)
and Al-Hikmah [the wisdom and the Sunnah of the Messenger],
while before that they had been in manifest error.
In my journey of faith, learning about Rasoolullah’s life,

the initiation of love for him in my heart, and the desire to
follow him was a very important milestone. It started with
my reading Martin Lings’ (Abu Bakr Siraj Ad-Din - January
76
24, 1909 – May 12, 2005) book, ‘Muhammad: His Life Based on
the Earliest Sources’. I have always maintained that there is a
perceptible difference between a Muslim writing about
Rasoolullah and a non-Muslim doing so. There are several
good books on the Seerah written by non-Muslim Islamic
scholars but from the minute you open the book you can say
without reading the name of the scholar if it is a Muslim
writing the book or someone to whom it is merely history.
May Allah grant Sh. Abu Bakr Siraj Ad-Din the highest
stations in Jannah and be pleased with his writing of the
Seerah of His Messenger. That book introduced me to
Rasoolullah in a systematic way. Although I had gone to
a madrassa in my early years and Rasoolullah was no
stranger to me, I hadnever actually read a full version of the
Seerah until then. This was a great loss of which I am still
keenly aware. What benefits would I have gained if I had
read the Seerah in my childhood or youth?
Somehow (and this is true to this day) we don’t teach the

Seerah as a serious subject in our Madaaris. I have never
understood the reason for this serious lapse in the
curriculum, because the Seerah is the Qur’an in practice.
It is not my intention to write about the Seerah (biography)

of Rasoolullah in detail, but to simply give a very short
introduction of the man who has more than 1.5 billion
followers alive today. One of the best descriptions of his
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blessed personality was given by Umma Ma’abad, a

Bedouin lady who Rasoolullah and his Companion Abu
Bakr As Siddique met during the migration (Hijra) to
Madina.
Her husband was away at the time, grazing their flock of

sheep. When he returned she told him about her visitor and
described him. That description remains to this day as one
of the best descriptions of the beautiful personality of the
Messenger of Allah. She said:
“I saw him to be a man of evident splendor. Fine in figure, his face

handsome, slim in form, his head not too small, elegant and good
looking, his eyes black, eyelashes long, his voice deep, very
intelligent, his brows high and arched, his hair in plaits, his neck
long and beard thick. He gave an impression of dignity when
silent and of high intelligence when he spoke. His words were
impressive and he was decisive, not trivial not trite, his ideas like
pearls moving on their string. He seemed the most splendid and
fine looking man from a distance and the very best of all from close
by. Medium in height, the eye not finding him too tall nor too
short. A tree branch as it were between two others but he was the
finest looking of the three. The best proportioned. He was the
center of his companion’s attention. When he spoke they listened
well and if he ordered they hurried to obey. A man well helped,
well served, never sullen, never refuted.”
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He was named Muhammad (One who draws praise – the

Praised One), by his grandfather Abdul Muttalib. Allah
fulfilled the meaning of his name and his name is praised
like no other one. In the Adhaan his name is exalted
throughout the day and night all over the world. The Arabs
used to send their young children to the desert because it
was considered healthier and the language of the Bedouins
was purer and their schooling in the proper manners and
values of the Arabs was considered essential for the
upbringing of children. So the children were sent for
Tarbiyyat (training & upbringing) to the tribes of the desert.
The Arabs were very particular about their language and
traditions and took care to see that these were taught to their
children by people considered to be expert in them.
The people of Makkah were concerned that if their children

grew up in there, their language and ways would get
influenced by non-Arabs since Makkah was a place of
pilgrimage and a center of trade and attracted many
foreigners. Also since many people came to Makkah from
foreign lands and given the state of public health, Makkah
was not a very healthy place for children to grow up in. The
wealthy families of Makkah used to send their newborn
babies to be nursed and brought up by the women of the
desert tribes. This was an important source of income for
the tribeswomen and so they were keen to take the children
of the city people and looked after them carefully. This
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tradition of city children being brought up by the Bedouin

(Baddu) was also an important long term bridge building
strategy where the Bedouin tribes could rely on the help of
rich merchants and tribal nobility who were once nursed
and brought up in their tents. This also happened with
Muhammad who lived with Banu Sa’ad. Haleema
Sa’adiya was his foster-mother and wet nurse and he
remained with them until he was about three years old. City
children grew up with their Bedouin nursling brothers and
sisters and formed bonds that lasted lifelong.
There is a famous story in the Seerah, about a Bedouin

woman who was captured in the battle of Hunain who
claimed to be the sister of Rasoolullah. At first nobody
paid any attention to her but she insisted that she wanted to
meet Muhammad. So eventually she was taken to him. To
the surprise of the Sahaba, she addressed him directly by
his name, without the customary titles of respect and said,
‘I am your sister from the Banu Sa’ad. Don’t you remember
me?’ Rasoolullah couldn’t recognize her so he asked her
to prove her identity. She drew up her sleeve and showed
him a mark on her forearm and said, ‘That is the mark of
your teeth when you bit me once when I was carrying you
as a baby.’ Rasoolullah immediately recalled the incident,
smiled and honored her and sat her down, enquired about
his ‘family’ and they spoke for a long time about his
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Bedouin family and the times of his growing up among

them.
Upon his return to Makkah from the Banu Sa’ad,

Muhammad grew up under the care of his grandfather
and after he passed away, under the care of his uncle Abu
Talib. Like most children of the time, he spent several years
as a shepherd of sheep and goats, spending a lot of his time
outdoors. Like many people of his time, he learnt classical
Arabic and was an eloquent speaker but never learnt to read
or write as that was not a common practice in those days.
People would go to scribes if they wanted anything read or
written. That is why he is called the ‘Unlettered Prophet’
(An Nabi ul Ummi). This is a major proof against those who
claim that he wrote the Qur’an. The Qur’an is Divine and
Muhammad is not its author.
At the risk of taking a slight deviation, since Muhammad

spent a major part of his time growing up among the Banu
Sa’ad grazing sheep, I believe it would be a good idea to
look at the life lessons to be learnt from grazing sheep.
Interestingly, most of the Anbiya (Prophets) of Allah
were shepherds of sheep. Esa (Jesus) used the simile of
the shepherd when he spoke of the shepherds of men. There
is much to be learnt in shepherding sheep.
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Here are some lessons in leadership that being the shepherd

of sheep teaches us:
1. Responsibility & Accountability: (Hadith: Kullukum

rayin wa kullukum mas-oolayn ar raayi-i – All of you
are shepherds and all of you will have to answer for
those in your care). The shepherd has to report to a
higher authority. The shepherd is responsible and can’t
blame the sheep for getting lost or hurt. He can’t say,
‘What can I do, my sheep are stupid.’ No matter if the
sheep are stupid or clever, the shepherd is responsible.
2. Patience, Mercy, Compassion: Sheep have some unique

qualities, separating them from other animals. Sheep
take their time, they are slow, they run around, get
easily distracted. They are weak and need more
protection than other animals. They are more
susceptible to threats than camels, horses, or cattle. They
have no concept of unity. They don’t come together to
protect their young or the flock. They can’t be punished
too harshly because they don’t have the strength to
withstand severe punishment. So the shepherd has to be
patient, merciful, and compassionate with sheep or they
die. Camels are arrogant and so you have to meet the
arrogance with strength and so the shepherds of camels
tend to be tough and rude because that is how they keep
camels in control. This is how the profession affects the
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individual. Doctors can’t write properly, they scribble.

Teachers become very scholarly and pedantic.
Mechanics have a personality different from farmers
who deal with plants and the earth. Engineers,
politicians, lawyers, policemen all have different
personalities. So the profession is very important to
consider so that you choose a profession that suits Islam
and does not corrupt your Deen. Sahaba accepted all
kinds of political/administrative positions, but they set
the standard for those professions and did not succumb
to the common illnesses of politics or administration.
The shepherd has to be patient and bear with their
people, no matter what they do. Musa was a
shepherd for ten years and so he had a lot of training to
lead Bani Israel. So were many other prophets.
3. Courage: The shepherd protects the flock so he has to be

courageous. There are many threats all of which the
shepherd must be aware of and know what to do about
them. A shepherd has to be prepared to put himself in
danger to save his flock because sheep can’t defend
themselves, let alone defending the shepherd. Since not
all threats are the same, the shepherd has to anticipate
threats and be prepared for them. He has to be creative
to think of solutions for new emerging threats before
they become sources of grief. A flock of sheep is
notoriously difficult to keep in control as sheep have a
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tendency to stray. So the shepherd must be alert all the

time and must know his sheep intimately so that he will
know when one is missing.
4. Concern & Compassion: Sheep have to be fed. They

won’t go and look for food on their own. If food is not
provided, they will simply sit and die. So no matter
what the weather conditions may be, the shepherd has
to ensure that he takes them to the right grazing ground
or has an alternate source of food and water for his
sheep. The shepherd has to think of his sheep’s nutrition
before he thinks of his own. So concern and compassion
for the flock has to be uppermost in his mind. When
sheep get sick, it is the shepherd who has to sit up in the
night and nurse them. Sheep are delicate and easily
injured, so the shepherd has to be compassionate and
help them over difficult ground, if necessary carrying
them across. How many times have we seen a shepherd
carrying a newborn kid on his shoulders, because it is
still not strong enough to walk?
5. Vision: Sheep are close to the ground and so can’t see

very far and are not aware of any hidden dangers. The
shepherd has a vantage point and so he can see the
danger long before the sheep become aware of it and
warn the sheep against it. Anbiya foresee the results of
deeds which the doers of the deeds don’t see. When a
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shepherd is herding his flock he is the only one who

knows the direction to take and the destination that he
wants them to reach. Sheep simply go in the direction
he sets even if it is harmful. That is why it is essential for
the shepherd to be clear about the direction in the first
place and so vision is critical.
6. Simplicity: A shepherd’s life has to be simple by

default. So the shepherd learns austerity and to live
without the luxuries. The shepherd has to carry his own
possessions as the sheep will not carry them for him so
he has to be light and mobile. The shepherd has to be
physically tough and must take hardship in his stride.
He sleeps early, wakes often in the night to check on his
flock and then wakes early as the day breaks and his
flock begins to stir. If he sleeps too long the sheep will
leave him and go away in all directions.
7. Closeness to nature: Shepherds naturally live close to

the creation of Allah. In most places, shepherds camp
out with their sheep moving from grazing to grazing
and don’t return home for months. Often their only
companions are their sheep. You have to love solitude
and know how to keep yourself engaged to be a good
shepherd. There is plenty of time to reflect, no urgency
to go from place to place and the opportunity to get to
know yourself very well. Among the joys of being close
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to nature is being able to see the stars, eat and drink

natural things, sleep on the ground. To hear the silence.
To become comfortable with darkness and not feel
threatened. To see the sun rise and set, to recognize the
signs of Allah in His creation, and so build his own
connection with the One to whom he will have to
answer one day.
All these are the benefits of herding sheep. Even if we don’t

do that literally today, it is important to ask how many of
these qualities are within us and what we are doing to
develop those that are not.
To return to our narrative about the life of Rasoolullah

when he was twenty-five years old, he received a proposal
of marriage from Khadija, a wealthy businesswoman of
Makkah, who had engaged Muhammad to do business on
her behalf. When he took her goods in a trade caravan to
Ash-Sha’am she sent her servant Maysara to accompany
him with instructions to watch and report all that he saw.
Maysara was most impressed with Muhammad’s honesty,
manners, wisdom, and shrewd business sense which he
reported to Khadija. She was impressed and proposed
marriage to him and he accepted. He was twenty-five and
she was forty. They remained together until she died
twenty-five years later. He was completely devoted to her
and she was his greatest supporter, closest confidant, and
dearest friend. She was the one who he went to when he
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received the first Revelation and saw Jibreel in his actual

form and was naturally terrified. She comforted him and
supported him in his work in every way. He did not marry
anyone before her or until she passed away twenty-five
years later. Zaynab, Ruqaiyya, Umm Kulthum, Fatima, Al
Qasim, Abdullah were all children who she bore him. None
of them had descendants except Fatima whose children
from her marriage with Ali are the surviving lineage of
Rasoolullah.
Teach your children to read. Introduce them to books from

the earliest age. Literacy is to language what driving is to
cars. In my view the single most significant milestone in
human development is the evolution of languages. It was
this process that enabled human beings to preserve their
thoughts, teach others, learn from history, and talk to
generations yet unborn. Language is the elixir of eternal life,
or as close to it as we are likely to come. Literacy or to be
able to use language, reading and writing, is the key to this
world which essentially distinguishes and differentiates us
from animals. Literacy is therefore as fundamental to the
human condition and as essential as food, clothing, and
shelter. And in a manner of speaking, even more essential
than that.
When adults teach children to read and write, they are

transferring their very humanity and empowering their
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students to access the collective wisdom and learning of the

human race. There is no greater service that one human
being can do for another than to teach him to read and write.
Societies which are unable or unwilling to teach their
children to read and write are impoverished and bankrupt
in the most essential element of wealth, knowledge.
Without literacy the only door that opens into the world of
the future remains locked. The child stands before it in mute
testimony to the fact that those whose responsibility it was
to hand over the keys failed to do so. There is nothing more
tragic than that.
In most developing countries today illiteracy is almost

bequeathed to the child, thanks to poverty of the parents
and an almost non-existent primary and secondary school
system. Primary and secondary government schools that do
exist are extremely poorly staffed and resourced and the
quality of education provided is abysmal. For illiterate
adults there is no place where they can go to even to simply
learn to read and write. Even a cursory journey through the
villages of India, for example, will show that there is a very
large pool of very bright children available. The tragedy,
however is that thanks to a complete lack of support, they
are simply allowed to go to waste and instead of
legitimately aiming for the stars they spend their youth
serving tea in wayside restaurants, or as assistants to truck
mechanics. We will never know how many potential
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scientists, philosophers, and intellectuals we have already

lost only because the rest of us don’t care. If there is
something worse, far worse than genocide, it is not to care
what happens to our fellow citizens. Of this we are all guilty
to some extent.
My education included not only reading the biography of

Muhammad, but of understanding and accepting his
position as the Messenger or Allah. It is essential for the
Muslim to know who Muhammad was, what his
relationship is to his Ummah (the global Muslim
Community), and what is required for the Muslim to
believe and hold as his Creed with respect to Muhammad
as the Messenger of Allah. All of these are a part of the
creed and denying or not believing any of them results in
the person leaving the fold of Islam.
1. That he was human and was the Messenger of Allah

and the last of them. This belief in Muhammad being
the last of the Prophets and Messengers is a part of the
creed of Islam and anyone who claims that there is a
prophet after Muhammad (Nabi or Rasool) ceases to
be a Muslim. Muslims therefore reject all those who
claimed Prophethood after Muhammad, like
Musailma the Liar, Ghulam Ahmad Qadiyani and
others and consider them to be liars and all those who
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follow them to be non-Muslim. Muhammad was the

last of the Messengers of Allah and the Seal of the
Prophets and there are no prophets or messengers after
him. He is a sign that the religion has been completed
and that nothing new will be revealed by Allah and
his message completes and supercedes all previous
Revelations.
Allahsaid about this:
Ahzab 33: 40 Muhammad is not the father of any man

among you, but he is the Messenger of Allâh and the last (end)
of the Prophets. And Allâh is Ever All Aware of everything.
2. That he was divinely inspired and was the recipient of

Revelation from Allah. Allah said about this:
Najm 53:1-11 By the star when it goes down, (or

vanishes). Your companion (Muhammad) has neither
gone astray nor has erred. Nor does he speak of (his own)
desire. What he conveys to you is a Divine Revelation that has
been revealed to him. He has been taught (this Qur’an) by one
mighty in power [Jibree)]. Dhu Mirrah (free from any defect
in body & mind Fastawa [established]. While he [Jibreel)] was
in the highest part of the horizon. Then he [Jibreel] approached
and came closer. And was at a distance of two bows' length or
(even) nearer. So did (Allâh) convey the Revelation to His
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slave [Muhammad through Jibreel]. The (Prophet's) heart lied

not (in seeing) what he (Muhammad) saw.
3. That he is the law giver and has absolute authority from

Allah to permit and prohibit whatever Allah
revealed to him to do. His commands are to be obeyed
without question and not to be disobeyed. This is a
condition of faith and denying it, a cause for leaving the
faith.
Nisa 4:65 But no, by your Lord, they can have no Faith,
until they make you (O Muhammad) judge in all disputes
between them, and find in themselves no resistance against
your decisions, and accept (them) with full submission.
Ahzaab 33:36 It is not for a believer, man or woman,
when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that
they should have any option in their decision. And whoever
disobeys Allâh and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a
plain error.
Nur 24:51 All that the believers say, when they are called to
Allah and His Messenger that he may judge between them, is
that they say, ‘We hear, and we obey: ’it is these who are
successful.
Najm 53:3-4 And he (the Prophet) does not speak out

of his own desire. It is nothing but a revelation revealed (to
him)
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Nisa 4:80 And whoever obeys the Messenger, thereby obeys

Allah. And as for those who turn away We have not sent you
as a guardian over them
Nur 24:54 Say: "Obey Allâh and obey the Messenger, but if
you turn away, he (Messenger Muhammad) is only
responsible for the duty placed on him (i.e. to convey Allâh's
Message) and you for that placed on you. If you obey him, you
shall be on the right guidance. The Messenger's duty is only
to convey (the message) in a clear way (i.e. to preach in a plain
way)
Nisa 4:42 On that day those who disbelieved and disobeyed

the Messenger (Muhammad) will wish that they were buried
in the earth, but they will never be able to hide a single fact
from Allâh.
Hujuraat 49:15 Only those are the believers who have

believed in Allâh and His Messenger, and afterward doubt not
but strive with their wealth and their lives for the Cause of
Allâh. Those! They are the truthful.
There is no Ayah in the entire Qur’an where the

‘obedience of Allah’ has been mentioned alone with no
reference to the ‘Obedience of the Messenger’. This is
because it is impossible to obey Allah without
obeying Rasoolullah. On the contrary, the Qur’an did
not deem it sufficient to refer to the ‘obedience of Allah’
without referring to the ‘obedience of the Messenger’, to
remove even the remotest excuse for ignoring the
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‘obedience of the prophet’ and to leave no doubt

whatsoever in the fact that the ‘obedience of Allah’ is not
complete unless the ‘obedience of Rasoolullah is fully
observed with all its implications.
One last word: From the above Ayaat it must be clearly

noted that Rasoolullah was a human being in terms of
his existential reality but he was the Messenger of
Allah and the one who has the highest status before
Allah. If anyone assumes from these Ayaat that
Rasoolullah was a human being ‘like’ himself, then he
would be in grave error.
It is like the difference between the king of a country and

an ordinary citizen. In terms of their humanity they are
both human and so they are alike. But in every other
way the king is different. So also Rasoolullah is human
but he is the beloved of Allah and is our leader and
the one who will intercede for us on the Day of
Judgment. He is the Imaam-ul-Anbiya (Imaam of the
Prophets), Sayyidul Mursaleen (Leader of the
Messengers), Rahmatullil-A’alameen (Mercy to the
Worlds), the one to whom the Qur’an was revealed and
who Allah praised and along with his angels sends
Salât and Salaam on him. Allah also ordered us to do
the same.
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Ahzaab 33:56 Allâh sends His Salât (Grace, Honor,

Blessings, Mercy) on the Prophet (Muhammad) and also His
angels too (ask Allâh to bless and forgive him). O you who
believe! Send your Salât on (ask Allâh to bless) him
(Muhammad), and (you should) greet (salute) him with the
Islâmic way of greeting (As Salâmu 'Alaikum).
4. To love Rasoolullah above all other people is a

condition of faith and Allah promised His
punishment for anyone who does not comply. He said:
Taubah 9: 24. Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers,

your wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained,
the commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings
in which you delight … are dearer to you than Allâh and His
Messenger, and striving hard in His Cause, then wait until
Allâh brings about His Decision (torment). And Allâh guides
not the people who are Al-Fâsiqûn (the rebellious, disobedient
to Allâh).
Allah praised the Believers (Companions of

Rasoolullah) and said that they love the Messenger
more than their own selves. He said:
Ahzaab 33:6 The Prophet is closer to the believers than their

own selves and his wives are their (believers') mothers.
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Allah also mentioned how much Rasoolullah loved

his followers.
He said:
Taubah 9:128. Verily, there has come unto you a Messenger

(Muhammad) from amongst yourselves (i.e. whom you know
well). It grieves him that you should receive any injury or
difficulty. He (Muhammad) is anxious over you (to be rightly
guided, to repent to Allâh, and beg Him to pardon and forgive
your sins, in order that you may enter Paradise and be saved
from the punishment of the Hell-fire), for the believers (he is)
full of concern, kind, and merciful.
It is not my intention to go into all the details of the rights

of Rasoolullah on the Muslims. That is out of the scope of
this book. I will suffice to say that the position of the
Messenger is central to the religion and his contribution
fundamental. He not only conveyed Allah’s commands to
the people but built a generation which became the
benchmarks for all future generations to compare
themselves against.
He created the ideal Islamic state and laid the foundations

for politics, statesmanship and propagation of Islam to
every corner of the globe. His followers took his message
from Arabia to Africa, Asia, Europe and China and
everywhere in between and through their own emulation of
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his teachings and manners became the role models for the
world. Entire countries became Muslim, not by force but
because they loved what they saw in the Akhlaaq (manners)
of the Companions of Muhammad.
In a world today that makes profane everything that is

sacred and which makes disrespectful jokes about prophets,
it is almost impossible for most non-Muslims to understand
how Muslims today can actually love a man they have
never seen, who is not from their land, race, tribe, or
ancestry and who lived more than fourteen centuries ago.
And how they not only love him but are willing to die to
defend his name and honor and will not let a single word
be said, criticizing him. To understand this, to really know
the reason, one has to be a Muslim. It has to do with the fact
that Rasoolullah’s name, his story, his teachings, his likes
and dislikes are matters of everyday mention and concern
in Muslim homes.
Muhammad is indeed the most common name in the

world, but what many don’t know is that boys (this is very
true of the subcontinent) given the name Muhammad are
actually called by a different ‘calling’ name. This is because
people are afraid of being disrespectful to the name if they
have to scold the child or even simply to call him. It is
considered disrespectful to simply call out to somebody by
the name ‘Muhammad.’ Muslims in the Indian
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subcontinent find it very strange and disapprove of the

Arab habit of calling people they don’t know, ‘Ya
Muhammad.’ The Arabs however do it as a mark of the
highest respect for the unknown man by referring to the
Ummati of Rasoolullah by his own blessed name; not
because they lack respect for Rasoolullah.
The life of Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah is

perhaps the most authentically and effectively documented
life in the history of mankind. His Companions and those
who came after them, wrote down every single detail of his
life and personal history, his habits, likes, dislikes,
appearance, dress and motivations, private and public
behavior. His words are the words of revelation or its
explanation and so were recorded, memorized, taught,
repeated, and most importantly, obeyed and practiced. His
judgments are law. Muslims through the ages have taken
full advantage of this wealth of information and teach their
children about the life of Rasoolullah in great detail. These
meetings to learn about the life of Rasoolullah are a form
of worship and are treated accordingly, with great respect.
Allah made following Muhammad in every respect and

imitating his every action a condition of being loved by
Himself. What bigger incentive can a believer ask for?
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Allah said: A’al Imraan 3: 31. Say (O Muhammad, to

mankind): "If you (really) love Allâh then follow me (i.e. follow
my Sunnah), Allâh will love you and forgive you your sins. And
Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
So naturally Muslims make all efforts to learn about every

little detail in the life of Rasoolullah and seek to practice
those things in their own lives with the certainty that to do
so brings blessings to them in many ways. People hold
formal and informal classes to teach and learn about the life
of Muhammad. In these classes we learn about the time
and circumstances before his birth, his parents,
grandparents, tribe and family. We learn about his birth and
all the circumstances surrounding it. We learn about his
early childhood and the events during it, how he was as a
little boy. We learn about his youth, his upbringing, and the
events during it.
We learn about his adulthood, his business trips to Ash-

Shaam. We learn about his marriage to Khadija and his
life with her. We learn about his character, manners,
trustworthiness and truthfulness which earned him the title
of ‘As-Saadiq-ul-Ameen’ (The Truthful and the
Trustworthy) among his people. We learn about his
thoughtfulness and his concern for a people steeped in
idolatry, profanity, and injustice. We learn about his
meditation in the cave and the receipt of the first Revelation
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and his calling to Prophethood. We learn about all that

followed; his rejection by the very people who loved him
more than anyone else. His steadfastness in the face of
opposition.
We learn about the deprivation, torture, embargo, and ban

and attacks that he and his followers had to suffer for
thirteen years at the hands of his own family and tribe of
Quraysh in Makkah and eventually of his emigration to
Madina. We learn about the death of his two biggest
supporters, his beloved wife Khadija and his uncle Abu
Talib, in the same year; the year that came to be known as
Al-A’am-il-Huzn (The Year of Sadness). In Madina we learn
about his struggle to establish an Islamic state, his vision in
writing the first Constitution in history, giving equal rights
to all citizens irrespective of faith. We learn about his
establishment of systems and processes of administration,
defense and nation building. We learn about the most
amazing initiative of all time, the formation of the Muslim
Ummah – a brotherhood of faith the like of which the world
had not seen until then and which it has not seen since.
A brotherhood in which tribes which were ancient enemies

lived in peace together and forgave each other generations
of vendettas and bloodshed. We learn about the opposition
to his plans to establish Islam, the battles he had to fight and
their results. We learn about his injuries in battle, about
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those who were martyred in the cause of faith and about

those who tried to undermine his efforts from within the
fold. We learn about his life in Madina as a statesman,
governor, commanding officer of the army, husband and
father, a householder who used to clean his own house,
wash dishes and serve his family. We learn about his role as
teacher, Imam, judge, and companion, first among equals.
We learn about the high esteem and honor that his
Companions held him in and his own self-effacing humility
Knowledge is the foundation of love. You can’t love

someone you don’t know. And when you know someone
good, the more you find out about that person, the more
you love that person. This is the reason Muslims study the
life of Muhammad, the best among all those who ever
walked the earth. It is not an exaggeration to say that most
Muslims are more familiar with the life of Muhammad
than they are with the lives of their own fathers and
grandfathers. For example, both my father and grandfather
have passed away, but if you ask me what I know of their
childhood, their youth, their intimate moments with their
family, their dreams and passions which they achieved or
did not achieve and a myriad other things, I may at best be
able to give you a very sketchy account. I can safely say that
this would be true of almost anyone especially today
because to speak about ancestors and their stories
(authenticity apart) is a lost practice. We have learnt to live
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as if the world came into being when we were born and so

when we die, we are ourselves quickly forgotten. But ask
me the same questions about Muhammad and I will be
able to give you a detailed, documented response. In most
Muslim homes it is a safe bet to say that the name of
Rasoolullah is taken more and he is mentioned far more
than the ancestors of that family. It is not that Muslims love
their ancestors less; they love Muhammad more.
Since there is great virtue in following the way of

Rasoolullah in every little thing that he did, Muslims
wash, bathe, cut their nails, style their hair and beards, wear
clothes, eat, drink, put on their clothes, put on and take off
their footwear, sleep and awake the way Muhammad did.
Every one of these and many others of his ways is
documented and Muslims take pride in learning these ways
and in following them. It is common for Muslims to ask how
Rasoolullah did some of the most common things in life
and then to scrupulously follow his way. Muslims give
precedence to those who obviously follow the Sunnah of
Rasoolullah by asking them to lead prayers and defer to
them in gatherings as a mark of respect for the Sunnah.
It is common for one Muslim who sees another drinking

water standing up and say, “Please sit down while you
drink.” The other Muslim would obey and would not ask
why he should do so, because he would be familiar with the
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way in which Muhammad used to drink water. It is

common when one Muslim sees another getting angry and
shouting at someone to say, “It is against the Sunnah to
behave in this way. Please speak softly.” The life of
Muhammad is a constant reference point for Muslims all
over the world.
Muslim children learn the different supplications (dua) that

Rasoolullah used to make for all kinds of things. They
memorize these duas and ask Allah in the same words
that Muhammad used. As they listen to these stories of his
blessed life, they react to them. When Muslims hear about
his hardships they weep spontaneous tears. When they hear
about his victories they rejoice as if they are witnessing the
actual event right before their eyes. When they listen to the
stories of his sacrifice for his Ummah they feel blessed and
they love him all the more for what he did for them. In the
case of most people, especially modern leaders, the famous
proverb, ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ applies. But in the
case of Rasoolullah the more you learn about him the more
you love him.
The life of Muhammad is such that there is no shortage of

factual detail that is inspiring, uplifting, challenging,
encouraging, and humbling. If you are depressed at the lack
of support for your noble plans, read the life of
Muhammad. If you are feeling overly proud of your
102
success in the face of great odds, read the life of

Muhammad. If you are feeling afraid of failing in the face
of opposition and apprehensive of danger to your life and
liberty because you want to take a stand for justice, read the
life of Muhammad. If you are feeling sad and fearful about
establishing peace, read the life of Muhammad. The life of
Rasoolullah is a beacon of guidance for all mankind for all
time. And that is why Allah called it the best example to
follow.
Ahzab 33: 21. Indeed in the Messenger of Allâh (Muhammad)

you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in (the
Meeting with) Allâh and the Last Day and remembers Allâh
much.
This is the message that the Messenger of Allah

Muhammad bin Abdillah brought to his people and to all
of mankind. The message that introduced our Creator to us,
invited us to worship Him alone because only He is worthy
of worship and reminded us that one day we would all be
called forth to meet Him. He warned people about that day,
the Day of Judgment, and advised them to prepare for it by
being just, moral, responsible, truthful, kind and charitable
and by doing all kinds of good deeds. He warned people
against worshipping anyone other than Allah or joining
partners with Allah in His worship.
103
He warned them against committing all kinds of sins and

against oppressing others, especially those helpless and
weak members of society like orphans and widows who are
most prone to being oppressed. He warned them against
transgressing limits in all their actions and in expressing
emotions. He advised them to cultivate the best manners
and to create a society that is based on equity and justice for
all, where there is the rule of law different from the rule of
man. He not only taught these things by preaching but
showed them in practice and is the benchmark until the end
of time if anyone wants to know how any of the ways of
Allah’s Divine Law are to be practiced. He held himself
to the same standard. In a period of twenty-three years he
actually created such a society to which history is witness,
such that until the end of time, nobody will be able to say
that the teachings of Islam can’t be implemented in real life.
Islam’s teachings were and can be implemented. People
lived lives of tranquility, harmony and grace in those
twenty-three years under the Divine Law.
That is why Allah said about His Blessed Messenger:
Ahzab 33: 56. Allâh sends His Salât (Blessings, Mercy) on the
Prophet (Muhammad) and also His angels too (ask Allâh to bless
and forgive him). O you who believe! Send your Salât on (ask
Allâh to bless) him (Muhammad), and (you should) greet (salute)
him with the Islamic way of greeting (As Salâmu 'Alaikum).
104
We salute our leader and Imam, Muhammad ibn Abdillah,

Rasoolullah and ask Allah to give him the best of
rewards, in keeping with His Majesty and Glory and grant
him the highest station of Maqam-al-Mahmood on the Day
of Judgment and to give him the power to intercede with
Allah for the forgiveness of his people. We ask Allah to
include us among those who he will intercede for and who
will be forgiven.
105
Sense of Ummah
The child will learn that there is no way of connecting to

Allah independent of Muhammad. We know Allah
through the message of Rasoolullah and the only proof of
our love for Allah that Allah accepts is the imitation of
Muhammad.
Aal Imraan 3:31. Say (O Muhammad to mankind): "If you

(really) love Allâh then follow me (imitate my way – Sunnah),
then Allâh will love you and forgive you of your sins. And Allâh
is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Teach the child that to love Allah, His Messenger and

striving in the cause of Islam are conditions of Imaan and
far more important than anything in life, including loving
one’s parents, family, or wealth.
Tawba 9:24. Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your
wives, your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the
commerce in which you fear a decline, and the dwellings in which
you delight … are dearer to you than Allâh and His Messenger,
and striving hard in His Cause, then wait until Allâh brings
about His Decision (torment). And Allâh guides not the people
who are Al-Fâsiqûn (the rebellious).
106
Teach the child the true position of Rasoolullah and our

relationship with him, his rights on us and our duties
towards him. Allah glorified the status of Rasoolullah
and ordered Muslims to send salaam on him. He said:
Al Ahzab 33:56 Allâh sends His Salât (Blessings, Mercy)

on the Prophet (Muhammad SAW) and also His angels too (ask
Allâh to bless and forgive him). O you who believe! Send your
Salat on (ask Allâh to bless) him (Muhammad SAW), and (you
should) greet (salute) him with the Islâmic way of greeting
(salutation i.e. As Salâmu 'Alaikum).
Allah made obedience to Rasoolullah a condition of

Imaan. He said:
An Nisa 4:65 But no, by your Rabb, they can have no Faith,
until they make you (O Muhammad SAW) judge in all disputes
between them, and find in themselves no resistance against your
decisions, and accept (them) with full submission.
Allah called the Muslims, one community and honored

them by associating His worship as the binding force.
Anbiya 21: 92. Truly! This, your Ummah [brotherhood] is one

Brotherhood (Ummah) and I am your Rabb, therefore worship Me
(Alone)
107
Mu’minoon 23: 52. And verily! This,

our Ummah [brotherhood] is one Brotherhood (Ummah), and I am
your Rabb, so have Taqwa (keep your duty) of Me.
The Muslim child must be taught to prefer Muslims over

others and to feel a sense of belonging to the global faith
based on brotherhood that transcends all boundaries.
108
109
Children Listen with Their Eyes
Muslim children must grow up seeing their parents

subordinating their lives and their desires to Allah and to
the Deen that His Messenger brought. They must grow up
with the awe of nothing but Allah in their hearts, seeing
their parent’s joy in submitting to Allah, actively seeking
opportunities to do more and more. The Muslim child must
understand the meaning of connection with Allah by
seeing the look of intense devotion and concentration on the
face of his parents when they stand in Salah. She must feel
the love of Allah kindled in her heart by listening to the
Qur’an recited with love, understanding, and a longing to
meet its author. She must feel the trembling of her heart
even when she hears words that she may not understand
yet. Allah must not be a strange word to her, mentioned
only during worship. Allah and His Messenger must be
mentioned often and related to the daily activities of parents
and children until they become part of their existential
awareness.
Zumar 39: 22. Is he whose breast Allâh has opened to Islâm, so

that he is in light from His Rabb (as he who is non-Muslim)? So,
woe to those whose hearts are hardened against remembrance of
Allâh! They are in plain error! 23. Allâh has sent down the best
statement, a Book (this Qur'ân), its parts resembling each other
in goodness and truth, oft-repeated. The skins of those who fear
their Rabb shiver from it (when they recite it or hear it). Then their
110
skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allâh. That is

the guidance of Allâh. He Guides therewith whom He pleases and
whomever Allâh sends astray, for him there is no guide.
Give them memories. Memories which will strengthen

them in times of difficulty, memories which will sustain
them in times of sadness, memories which will light their
path in the darkness.
A Muslim child, brought up right, will yearn to learn the

Qur’an that he’s heard his parents recite so well. Let your
children remember you by the sound of your voice reciting
Qur’an. By the sound of your recitation in Tahajjud. By the
power of your dua whose effect they saw in their and your
lives. By how you used to select every option on the basis
of, ‘Does it please Allah?’ By the way you avoided
everything doubtful and never did anything that had any
chance of being displeasing to Allah. Your child then will
not need to be persuaded, much less forced, to do so.
Children imitate and learn to respect and value what they
see their elders valuing. If they see their elders valuing
money over everything else, that is what they will value. If
they see them value Allah and the Sunnah of
Rasoolullah that is what they learn also to value. If they
see their parents changing, justifying, twisting or simply
ignoring the rules of Islam in order to fulfill their desires,
they also learn that it is acceptable to live a life of hypocrisy
111
– claiming to be Muslim, yet disobeying Allah and His

Messenger. If they see the contrary then they learn the
right place of everything, the world in its place and the
Creator of the world in His place, to be loved and obeyed
without question or argument. So the connection with
Allah is what must be built first.
Someone asked me this question: How can young

children be introduced to Islam through an innovative
method of teaching which inspires their imagination
to understand the Magnificence of the Creator?
My Answer: The best way I know to inspire the

imagination to understand the Magnificence of Allah is to
use His creation for it. Give them small projects after
introducing a concept to them. For example: Take them to
a huge tree and let them see and feel it and then show them
the seed and say, 'Do you know that this tree came out of
this seed? How do you think that happened?’ Then let them
talk. The key is NOT to give them the answer and NOT TO
‘CORRECT’ them. Let their imaginations flow. Give them
charts and crayons and let them draw the tree inside the
seed as they think of it. Ask them, ‘What do you think the
tree is saying to Allah when it is inside the seed?’ Let
them talk and talk and talk.
112
Then let them collect leaves of different trees, press them in

books so that they will have a whole scrap book of pressed
leaves at the end of the project. Then tell them: "All these are
leaves, right? So in that respect they are all alike. But each
one is different from the other. Why do you think Allah
did this?"
Then tell them to go and find two leaves of the same tree
that are completely different from each other. They will not
be able to do that - so ask them, "What do you think is the
reason why Allah made the leaves the same, yet
different?"
Then tell them to look at each other and spot differences -

ensure that they don’t make fun of each other but do it
respectfully - and ask the same question.
Then tell them, "There are two artists - one makes one
painting and then makes a hundred photocopies of it. The
other makes hundred-and-one different paintings. Who is
the bigger artist? Why do you say that?
Then make them print out their finger prints and tell them,
'Each of you has a finger print that is not only different from
others in this room but from all human beings anywhere in
the world (expand this in narration) and also you know
what? Before you came into this world, this finger print on
113
your hand did not exist. And when you are gone, it will not
come back.
Now what do you think of the artist who can do all this?
Who is that artist?
If you do it well, it will blow their minds and will be a

lifetime experience for them.
After all it was Allah who taught us to introduce Himself

like this when He said in the first Ayaat that He revealed:
Al Alaq 96:1. Read! In the Name of your Rabb, Who has created
(all that exists),
Think about this: What was there to read, when Allah is

saying ‘Read’? What there was to read, was the creation of
Allah and Allah commanded Rasoolullah to read His
signs in the creation. So all I am doing is to follow the same
methodology. The best way to recognize the magnificence
of Allah is to look at his creation with eyes of Imaan.
Our problem is that we leave the Tarbiyya of children until

it is too late. When they are little we are too anxious for them
to hurry up and grow up. And they do. Only, when that
happens we don’t recognize them. We think that the only
things that we have to worry about when they are little are
if they are fed and clothed and happy. And to take them ‘out
114
of our hair’ we get them addicted to the TV or worse still to

video games. If instead of that we had spent some time
introducing them to Allah and to His Messenger and to
the beautiful concepts of this Deen, they would have turned
into young men and women we could be proud of.
115
Taking from the treasures of Allah: Salah,

Dua
It is when the connection with Allah is strong that the

child learns to ask only from Him and not to join others with
Allah either in His worship or in asking for help. The
child will learn that the key to the treasures of Allah is
Salah and that in any difficulty he must seek help from
Allah through Salah and experience His proximity.
Al Baqarah 2:152. Therefore remember Me (by praying,

glorifying). I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My
countless Favors on you) and never be ungrateful to Me.153. O
you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salât. Truly! Allâh
is with As-Sâbirin (the patient ones).
She will learn how to stand in the night and take from the
treasures of Allah that will be spread before them. The
child will experience the closeness of Allah and that He
listens when she calls him.
Al Baqarah 2:186. And when My slaves ask you (O

Muhammad SAW) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am
indeed near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the
invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any
mediator). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they
may be rightly guided.
116
He will understand the meaning of Al Ihsaan – to worship

as if we can see Allah and to know that even though we
can’t see Him, Allah sees us. Allah will become real to
him and His Messenger will become the most beloved of
people. He will learn the value of following the Sunnah of
Rasoolullah and how that is a source of strength because
it is the only acceptable proof of his love for Allah. The
child will learn to love Rasoolullah and to feel proud of his
identity as an Ummati of Muhammad. The child will draw
his own sense of identity and belonging from Rasoolullah
and will experience the pleasure of instant bonding with
Muslims irrespective of the manmade boundaries of
nationality and culture on the basis of the brotherhood that
Rasoolullah created and which Allah endorsed and
ascribed to Himself and His worship.
117
Giving to the world: Charity & Da’awa
Children must be taught the value of service. They must

endure hardship and learn that for some people air-
conditioning, cars, unlimited hot and cold running water,
fridges bursting at the seams, and clean sheets on a soft bed
are not even novelties; because a novelty is something that
you do have, even if only occasionally. But those people still
live and laugh and play. Children must be taught the value
of compassion, courage, and service. They must be allowed
to experience the joy of sharing; of giving and then seeing
the light of disbelieving delight in the eyes of the receiver.
Nothing compares to the joy of giving something to
someone who did not even dream of getting it. They must
be taught that to give someone what you don’t really want
is still good, but not as appreciable as giving away
something that you love because someone else needs it
more. This demonstrates a higher level of care and concern.
For example, for a teenager to volunteer to spend time with
old people (related or not) is to give away his or her time,
which may not have any monetary value, but which is
something that is dear to young people. This and other such
activities must be encouraged and appreciated. Not by
giving money in exchange, but by talking to the child and
asking what they believe they gained from the action. It is
only when they learn to take pleasure in the giving in and
of itself that it becomes sustainable.
118
To give is a power that is given in the hands of those who

have resources, who must learn that they actually hold the
resources of others in trust, to be delivered on call, when
they need it. Those who use these resources for themselves
without any concern for others are really violating their
trust for which they will be held accountable. This is the
concept of Amana which is the essence of Islam – Imaan is
an Amana to be conveyed, so are resources – to pass on
benefits to others only for the pleasure of Allah.
Muslim children must be taught that with Allah the only

consideration is piety, not possessions and that wealth and
possessions are a test to see how we will be.
Al Hujuraat 49:13. O mankind! We have created you from a male

and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may
know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allâh
is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa. Verily, Allâh is All-
Knowing, All-Aware.
Teach them the value of the best investment of them all, the
investment with Allah. An investment that will not only
earn them a return as long as they live but a return that will
continue long after they are dead. Teach them also that this
return is the highest of any return in this world for it ranges
from 1:10 to 1:700 to a return without account. And finally,
that this return is the surest of all because it is guaranteed
119
by Allah himself. Now what can be more certain than

that?
Al Baqarah 2:245. Who is he that will lend to Allâh a goodly loan

so that He may multiply it to him many times? And it is Allâh
that decreases or increases (your provisions), and unto Him you
shall return.
Finally the most important duty, that of conveying Islam to

others; once again demonstrate by example both the
importance of doing it, as well as the way to do it. Children
must be taught the power of demonstrating; of Da’awa
through personal example. They must be taught to practice
Islam completely and with confidence, in terms of their
dressing, their manners, their dealings, what they will see,
say, or do. They must learn that others watch them and that
if people appreciate them, then they will be drawn to Islam.
Children must be taught the power of politeness, kindness
and of smiling and being agreeable. They must understand
that before one can talk about Allah to anyone else, it is
essential to first win their hearts over. If people don’t even
like you they are hardly likely to listen to what you have to
say about religion. People tend to associate the religion with
the practitioner and accept or reject both together. It is
necessary to spend quality time and pay close attention to
the religious education of children.
120
If a child does not even know his own religion properly,

how can he or she convey it to anyone else? Yet it is common
to see Muslim parents spend huge amounts of money and
time on their children’s worldly education and treat
religious education as a necessary nuisance at best. There is
no sense of shame that their grown child can’t even read the
Qur’an fluently or lead Salah comfortably. Guidance can
only come with correct knowledge and it is the parent’s
primary responsibility to ensure that their children are
properly educated in Islam; a responsibility for which they
will be questioned and punished if found negligent. It’s
high time we paid attention to this.
121
About the Author
MIRZA YAWAR BAIG
Founder of YAWAR BAIG &

ASSOCIATES™, International Speaker,
Author, Life Coach, Corporate
Consultant, specializing in leadership
development, helping technical specialists transition into
Management and Leadership roles. Yawar’s book, ‘The
Business of Family Business’ helps family businesses make
the critical transition from being ‘Person-led’ to becoming
‘Process-driven’ and create robust systems that will enable the
business to be handed from generation to generation. His
book, ‘An Entrepreneur’s Diary’ traces his own journey as an
entrepreneur. Yawar specializes in helping Start-ups make the
transition into their growth phase, helping them to look at
challenges and take difficult critical decisions. His latest book,
‘Leadership is a Personal Choice,’ illustrates his philosophy
that one must take charge of one’s life and learn to live like a
‘Master’ and not like a ‘victim.’ He believes that we need to
learn to take charge of our own destinies and not wait for
others to decide how we should live. He draws on his
extensive experience of over twenty-eight years in consulting
with Multinational corporations, Government and business
organizations on three continents where he’s taught more than
200,000 managers, administrators, teachers, technologists, and
clergy. He combines Eastern values with Western systems to
transcend cultural boundaries. Yawar’s style reflects openness,
commitment to quality, and value-based professionalism. He
speaks five languages. He writes blogs, articles, and books
focusing on applying learning to create models of excellence.
122
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Raising A Muslim Child Mirza Yawar Baig

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Raising a Muslim child

Raising a Muslim child

Mirza Yawar Baig

Why this book? Why not this book?

‘Please think of your most powerful role model. For how

I have never had more than five percent of the population

I believe that parenting is a serious job which must be

Please remember that whether you like it or not, you are a

Today, young Muslim parents are anxious to ensure that

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the

A big misconception that Muslim parents have is that their

I’ve met many parents who struggled very hard to

Muslim families today spend far too little time in

Parents often equate expense with quality. They give their

It is not sufficient to simply feed, clothe, and shelter the

A good way to understand this is to see how child prodigies

formal and informal, is based on the eventual role that they

Children born to Muslim parents have been gifted with

ordinary children; to treat them as if they were is to deny

They must learn that to be poor and to be honorable are not

create a society that is focused on contribution instead of

It is when parents bring up self-centered children focused

I believe that it is essential for Muslims to ensure that their

1. Who they are: being Standard Bearers of Islam

Who They Are: Being a Standard Bearer of

Muslim children therefore must be brought up with the

Akhlaaq: The Key Differentiator

It is the connection with Allah that is the primary

Children must be taught Akhlaaq (manners) that will

Al Hujuraat 49:10. The believers are nothing else than brothers

Children must be taught how to speak to elders and

It is strange that today it is very common to ask someone,

Children must be taught that meal times are sacred because

service. Meals, especially the one meal at which the whole

Naturally, it is the parents who have to set the norm. If the

If parents pay children to wash cars, mow lawns, clean attics

Each of these behaviors discussed above can be linked to

Muslim children must learn that Islam is not just a set of

Mu’minoon 23:1. Successful indeed are the believers. 2. Those

and people’s trusts) and to their covenants; 9. And those who

All these things will make the Muslim child a walking,

This is the essence of Islam and the example that

The biggest mistake that parents make is not to define

Children are forever testing boundaries. So these must be

Children must be taught that value is not equal to cost. For

Possessions add cost, not value.

Teach them to use things and value people; not to value

Children must be taught that humans have more intrinsic

A shirt is clothing, a watch is meant to tell the time, and

By these you will be remembered, honorably or otherwise.

Children must be taught the value of money. The value of

Children learn to handle money by actually handling

their allowance. See if they have found ways to make their

Teach them to make their own Balance Sheets for the

As we bring up our children, so we create the society we

billion worth of food was thrown away in Britain alone. Is

We have created a society that has concentrated power and

The correction has to begin in the home.

It is this self-centered thinking that has given rise to the so-

A friend once asked me to show him a way to get out of the

Rat versus Cat

Now what distinguishes the Rat from the Cat? In my view

In the Rat Race, the focus is self-aggrandizement &