VIETNAMESE FAMILY LIFE

There are major differences between family life and responsibilities and
Western countries. The principle of the extended family is alive and well in
Vietnam. There may be three generations, sometimes even four, living in the
family home in Vietnam. That has not been the case in many other countries of
the world for decades.

There is an unwritten structure to family life with most members working

within the home and on the land in every village in the country. The exception
is the elderly who are allowed to ‘’retire’’ yet their opinions carry a great deal
of power within the family. Respect for the elderly is central in Vietnamese
society and it is rare that other family members will go against the wishes of
parents and grandparents.

It is not that younger members of the family are ignored. Respect runs through
every level of society. Often some of the family leave home and village to head
for the city; there are special occasions in the year, especially Tet, the
Vietnamese New Year, when they are likely to return if at all possible. It is
important that an extended family can spend at least some time together.

Children certainly regard their mothers as important as their fathers. In some

ways that is natural because of the care they get from their mothers. However,
in Vietnamese society, and therefore in reality in the family, the man is more
important. At Tet, when respect is shown to family and ancestors, it is the male
side of the family that takes precedence on the first day; the female side of the
family is the second day. The head of the family is always a man.

Each member of the family has a responsibility to all the others. That may come
in the form of encouragement but it may also be material help if there is an
obvious need or indeed there is a request. In Vietnam, the first people to go to
for any financial help are not the financial institutions but the family.

It does not appear that all the family traditions in the Vietnamese culture are
being eroded in any way, despite the move of people from village to city.
Vietnamese people recognise nine generations from great, great grandparents to
the individual, the fifth generation going down to the individual’s great, great
grandchildren, the ninth. The family broadens in that many people have brothers
and sisters who themselves have their own relationships. To complicate matters
further, a father (tam phu) may be the blood father, your mother’s current
husband or an adopted father. The same thing applies to a mother.

Even today, the choice of a wife may involve the parents or extended family. It
is tradition and elements of superstition may be involved as well’ birth date of
the bride for example. It is changing as city life becomes more common but it is
unlikely that anyone will go ahead without the approval of the family,
especially parents, too often.
 head for sth: If you are heading for a bad situation, you are likely to
experience it soon, because of your own actions or behaviour
Source: https://www.vivutravel.com/vietnam-travel-guide/vietnamese-
lifestyle/vietnamese-family-life