47 Selemanagement 81 Figure 4-5 Hints for Overcoming Fear of Failure™ The Rele ef Emotional Intelligence in Self- ‘management ‘Look at fare as an event, nota retlection on you personaly, Remind youre that everyone experiences faite. Look forthe "why" and find a solution ‘Ask yourself what you learned Associate with postive people and abolish fear and failure statements, Create a new environment. ‘Access new information let adversity become advantage Create a new perspective or mindset-—develop new “sell-tak"—forthtance, background frougnts Pee : “ Take one step ata time; keep moving forward. failing. Curve Of failing develops when individuals perceive others as treating them with high levels of criticism, attack, and neglect and then treat themselves with correspondingly high levels of self-blame and self-neglect and less sel-affirmation and self-ove. High levels of fear of failure have been linked with health problems including headaches and eating disorders as well as reduced motiva tion and poor job performance." As we attempt to achieve goals or perform tasks, knowing the right course of action to take isn't always enough. Sometimes we run into obstacles. These obstacles shoulda’t stop us. They can be addressed and, in most eases, One of the most common barriers fo interpersonal effectiveness is fear. Fear is one of the most basic of human emotions. I is part of our body's natural alarm system that helps tus react physically and mentally to danger and threat of the anticipation of danger and threat, Anticipatory fear has two distinct components: anxiety. preoccupation with an eat. The body's reaction to fear. while perfectly be unpleasant and can include a racing heart, hyperventilation, dry mouth, dizziness, nausea, and a change in blows circulation that can send a chill down the spine. Fear can also weaken our ability. ‘concentrate and cause anxiety disorders, Bul fear is, on the whole, good because it helps Is c threats, warms us of imminent danger, and spurs us to react to protect our selves." Fear can be good or bad. It can have negative or positive effects on people. ‘Good fear maintains our gleriness and vigilance. Based on knowledge, reaso instincts, good fear keeps you from danger or harmtul situations. Sometimes good Fear ‘ean actually “adgenalize” you. For example. in public speaking. a little nervousness is actually good—it ean enhance your vitality and enthusiasm. Bad fear is a misreading of a situation. It holds you back instead of propelling you forward. It keeps you from applying your full energies to a situation. Some of the reasons for this are concern about rejection, wiking mistakes, aking risks, and failure. Negative fear stifles le imerfe with decision making: it also prevents you from being yourself and discovering new tal cents ad interests Don't let bad fear stifle creativity or sell-expression. Giving in to fear ean paralyze ‘you, rendering you passive or unable to act. This ean keep you From growing, developin and ultimately succeeding, At its worst, bad fear can hinder your ability to take chances and be open to new exper n your existing relationships, and prevent new ‘ones from developing. AL its best, good fear ean bring out new dimensions of your abil ties and personality Etfective self-management requires an awareness of our emotional and rational responses. Many of these elements associated with self-awareness are embodied in a concept known as emotional intelligence or EQ. EQ is the capability of a person to ng tools lor interpersonal effectiveness in his or her social :Q involves using your mental capabilities (0 understand your own and oth ° motions correctly and to use those emotions wisely to produce personally tnd socially desirable outcomes, People who successfully apply EQ ereate win-win Felationships and outcomes for themselves and others, and ean develop growing se emi fonment‘S217 inirapersonal Efectvenes: Understanding Yoursell Emotional Intelligence and Workplace Performance ‘networks of healthy social relationships and emotional support structures.” As the ancient philosopher Aristotle said, “Anyone can become angry—that is edsy: But to be angry with the right per- son, tothe right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—thisis not easy." Aristotle was a wise man, He recognized that as human beings we are able to experience a full range of feelings. Learning when, how, where, why. and with whom te share them is more ‘complex than we might think at frst glance, Emotional intelligence enables us to do this Emotional intelligence is a concept used to describe our levels of key emotional responses. These include self-control, zeal and persistence, and the ability to motivate neself to use our emotions, feelings, and moods and those of others to adapt and navi- {gate in society. A guiding principle of emotional intelligence is that having and express: ing emotions is a good thing. But expressing emotions, especially in the business world. requires an innate sense of what's appropriate to say, when, where, and with whom, EQ is developing an awareness of your feelings and emotions and using them in appropriate ‘ways. Your level of emotional intelligence—the degree to which you are savvy about the use of emotions when communicating with others—is a huge facior in one’s ability to be successful. EQ is considered to be just as important or even more important than 1Q. one’s “intelligence quotient” IQ and EQ involve different parts of the brain. 1Q affects ‘our ability to reason, to process information, to think analytically. EQ affeets our ability to use emotions in relating to others at work and in our personal lives. Important criteria for professional success in any field are the “people” skills that ure derived from under- standing our emotions and responses to working with others. This type of self-knowledge is crtieal to our ability to relate to others and make decisions about our lives and work. ‘The good news is that unlike one's IQ. which is determined primarily at birth, EQ isa quality we can actually learn about and improve. Research and practice clearly demonstrate that you can, if you work on the fundamen: tals, develop your emotional intelligence, which has five components: ‘confidence. abil- assessment, se © Self awareness—emotional awareness, accurate sell ity to recognize emotions and their effects on you and others, © Self-regularion—selt-control, trustworthiness, conscientiousness. adaptability, innova: tion, ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses. © Motivenion—zeal, achievement drive, commitment, initiative, optimism, and the abil- ity to remain persistent in the face of adversity. = Empathy—understanding others. service orientation, developing others, leveraging diversity political awareness, the ability o read and respond to others’ feelings. Social Skills—interacting smoothly, managing interpersonal relationships, handling ‘emotional responses to others. influence, communication, the ability to build bonds with others Understanding our levels of emotional intelligence is gesential for our self-awareness. By Isoulag or es poly Dinos nog tinea ectines onic wh others, we can develop new goals, behaviors, and atitudes toward ourselves as well as others. The most effective leaders and managers have discovered that in addition to 1Q and technical skill itis essential for their success to develop and demonstrate emotional intelligence."* Working to increase your emotional intelligence can help you do this. In the process, you can become a better manager as well a a better person, Being able to understand and harness our emotions i just as valuable in the workplace as it isin our personal lives. Daniel Goleman, one ofthe foremost researchers on emotional intelligence found EQ to be twice as important as IQ and technical skill tal ob level. ‘Without ita person ean have the bes raining in the world, an inesive, analytical min, axl an endless supply of smart ideas, but he/she till won't make a great leaer.° Goleman also concludes that EQ plays an even more substantial role in suecess at higher evel posi“47 Seltmanagement 83 (On an individual level, self-regulation, self-awareness, and motivation have been posi- tively associated with concern for quality, problem-solving ability, and ability to manage conflicts. Ranking high on these dimensions suggests that an individual would have effec: tive behaviors at work, Being able to interpret the emotions of others. empathy. social skills, and group work skills would increase the effectiveness of onganizational managers and leaders. Improving emotional intelligence allows managers to become primal leaders Who positively influence others with commanding social skill."* Some key impacts of EQ in Jeadership include the followings” . Reduced depression, greater optimivm. and less impulsiveness—These behaviors help ‘managers deal with dificult situations, improve decision making. and positively affect employees’ work attitudes. Increased concern for mastering sills and tasks —Conscientious leaders strive For personal improvement and facilitate and develop that eapabilty in others. ensuring that people are challenged to develop their own solutions to challenges an that the are supported in doing so." Improved facilitation of adaptation and change—Emotional intelligence allows lead: ers to gain power and become eatalysts For chi © Increased influence on positive reaming —Emotionally intelligent individuals utilize social skills and can moderate their behavior and influence others to collaborate, build bonds, und communicate on team-based efforts © The development of ransformational leadership—Leaders who have a strong sense of self and strong convietions in their belies are able to provide vision and development and motivation in others ‘The Manager’s Role in EQ” 1. Assess “emotional impact” of jabs—Managers need to be aware of the emotional pressures associated with particular jobs when designing job assignments. 2. Create a positive and friendly emotional climate—Managers need to recognize that ‘workers need a supportive environment; work should not be a cold place devoid (of concern for its members. 3. Properly reward and compensate—Through appropriately developed reward and compensation systems, managers can encourage a positive emotional climate, 4, Select appropriate employees and team members—Managers need to base selection lof employees and team members on their record of utilizing a positive emotional attitude. 5. Provide EQ training—Managers need to develop training to increase employee EQ ‘and encourage postive emotional responses. Summary Management consultant and author Roy Zenger tells us that the only person who likes change is « wet baby. We ean accept and even embrace change. By learning to adapt we can remain vibrant, With practice, managing our time and sess can ‘become as much of habit as brushing teeth or stopping at red light. Understanding how emotional intelligence impacts our emotional responses and the responses of others will increase our effectiveness as pee ourselves, we are mote likely 10 achieve success and satistaction-—in life as well as