Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood" ‘Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood means that itis better to listen first and talk second. By taking the time to listen to another person, you reach a higher level of communication. Teaching Habit 5 to young children is dane by frst considering thelr age and development. Young children find it cffiult to understand another's paradigm (point of view). This habit is best approached by introducing listening as @ ‘kil that should be pracied, Learing to listen without inteupting and learning to listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart will help children build a foundation for Habit 5, Simply put, we Fave two ears and one mouth so that we can spend mare time listening, withthe intent to understand Younger-Child Activities 4. To etter understand how istenng can help or hut a relationship, by “pretend listening” with Your cil for afew minutes. Your cil wil be Fustated. Explain what you were doing an ftscus how your chi fe Non have your chidlgnre you when you ae tang, Discs how it makes you fel wren you are ignored. Fish the cscussion by thnkng of way to et the ‘ther person know vn you fel you are not being truly etened to Remind your child that This ls on example of Think Win Body language can te even more impotent than words. Pay 2 game with your Kids where you ‘each to guess the he's eration (happy, sad, angry, Fusated, bored, etc) without using ‘ny words, jst bods language Deranstate how saying the same phrace fn diferent one of voce can give the phase @ ‘completly cliferent meaning. Try emphasizing diferent words inthe pase "I id say {you did and then ave your cid fell you how the meaning changed, ‘4 Read Chapter 5 of The 7 Habits of Hoppy Kids book with your eid and then complete the Parent's Corer, Toon Activities ‘Ask youslf what you biggest Istening problem is. Do you “pretend listen"? Do you only listen to give adver o judge? Do you plan what you are going to say instead of realy listening? Work to improve your tering skis and model good listening behavior 's there an issue you and your teen always argue about If so, goto your ten and say, "Help re understand you pont af view:" Then realy Isten without interuptions. When youre i fishe. repeat your ov words what you heard unl he or she acknowledges Feeling understood. The i's your tum to speak and your chil’ tum to Isten You may want to use a Talking Sik” when you ae having this cscssion. Oly the person hong the Talking Stick alowed to speak and doesn't pas the stick othe othe person unt he or she feel understood Consider ashing you ten to lt you know when he or she Fels you are'tkstring. When it happens, thank hi rhe, ston, and share back and forth untl your ten feels understood The baater in Me Parent's Guide