Chapter 3 Making Your Writing Easy to Read Using an easy-to-read style makes the reader respond more positively to your ideas. You can make your writing easier to read in two ways. First, you can make individual sentences and Paragraphs easy to read, so that skimming the first paragraph or reading the whole document takes as little work as possible. Second, you can make the document look visually inviting and structure it with signposts to guide readers through the document. This chapter focuses on ways to make words, sentences, and paragraphs easier to read. Chapter 4 will discuss ways to make the document as a whole easier to read. Half-Truths about Style Many generalizations about style are half-truths and must be applied selectively, if at all. Half-Truth 1: "Write As You Talk." One of the best tests of style is to read what you've written out loud to someone sitting about three feet away. If a passage sounds stiff and overly formal when you read it out loud, almost certainly it will sound stiff and perhaps even rude to the reader. If you wouldn’t say it, don’t write it. Most people have several styles of talking, which they vary instinctively depending on the audience. Good writers have several styles, too. You'd use a more formal style for a paper which will be submitted to an academic journal than in a report for a business client. Your writing will be more formal when it contains technical terms and theory. Even then, you can use simple words and conversational sentence structures to keep your writing clear and lively. Half-Truth 2: "Never Use /." Using J too often can make your writing sound self-centered; using it unnecessarily will make your ideas seem tentative. However, when you write about things you've done or said or seen, using / is both appropriate and smoother than resorting to awkward passives or phrases like this writer. 718 The Invin Business Communication Handbook Half-Truth 3: "Never Begin a Sentence with And or But. Beginning a sentence with and or also makes the idea which follows seem like an after- thought. If you want to sound as though you have thought about what you are saying, put the also in the middle of the sentence or use another transition: moreover, furthermore. But tells the reader that you are shifting gears and that the point which follows not only contrasts with but also is more important than the preceding ideas. Such signposts are useful. Beginning a sentence with bur is fine if doing so makes your paragraph read smoothly. Half-Truth 4: "Never End a Sentence with a Preposition.” Prepositions are those useful little words that indicate relationships: with, in, under, at. ‘The prohibition against ending sentences with them is probably based on two facts: (1) The end of a sentence (like the beginning) is a position of emphasis. A preposition may not be worth emphasizing, (2) When the reader sees a preposition, he or she expects something to follow it. At the end of a sentence, nothing does. In job application letters, reports, and important presentations, avoid ending sentences with prepositions. Most papers and presentations for business classes are less formal; it's OK to end an occasional sentence with a preposition. Analyze your audience and the situation, and use the language that you think will get the best results. Half-Truth 5: "Big Words Impress People.” Learning an academic discipline requires that you master its vocabulary. Sometimes you may want the sense of formality or technical expertise that big words create. But much of the time, big words just distance you from your audience and increase the risk of miscommuni- cation. When people misuse big words, they look foolish. If you're going to use big words, make sure you use them correctly. Choosing the Right Word ‘Use words that are accurate, appropriate, and familiar. Accurate words mean what you want to say. Appropriate words convey the attitudes you want and fit well with the other words in your document. Familiar words are easy to read and understand. To be accurate, a word's denotation must match the meaning the writer wishes to convey. Denotation is a word's literal or dictionary meaning; connotation means the emotional colorings or associations that accompany a Word, Most common words in English have more than one denotation. The word pound, for example, means, or denotes, a unit of weight, a place where stray animals are kept, a unit of money in the British system, and the verb to hit.Easy to Read 19 Problems arise when writers use words whose denotations are inappropriate or even contradictory. In the latter part of 1975, the western part of Ohio was transferred from Chicago to Cleveland.' (Ohio did not move. Instead, a company moved responsibility for sales in western Ohio.) Three major associations of property-liability companies are poised to strike out in opposite directions* (Three different directions can’t be opposite each other.) Earn a free lunch? (A lunch one earns isn't free.) Some errors in denotation block meaning entirely. All errors slow reading, because the reader has to figure out what the writer really meant. Some readers may smile; others will judge the writer to be ignorant or sloppy. None of these reactions helps you achieve your purposes. ‘Words with similar denotations may nevertheless plant different ideas in the reader’s mind because of their connotations, that is, their emotional associations or colorings. A great many words carry connotations of approval or disapproval, disgust or delight. Negotiate is a positive term; haggle is negative. Words may also connote status. Both salesperson and sales representative are nonsexist job titles. But the first sounds like a clerk in a store; the second suggests someone selling important items to corporate customers. Whenever you can choose between two words that mean the same thing and have the same connotations, use the shorter, more common one. Try to use specific, concrete words. ‘They're easier to understand and remember.* The following list gives a few examples of short, simple alternatives. Formal and stuffy Short and simple ameliorate improve commence begin enumerate list finalize finish, complete prioritize rank utilize use viable option choice Use technical terms sparingly and correctly. LIFO and FIFO are technical terms in accounting; byte and baud are computer jargon; scale-free and pickled and oiled designate specific characteristics of steel. Use the technical terms from your discipline when you write papers for business classes.20 ‘The Irwin Business Communication Handbook Replace jargon with plain English if you are not using the specialized meaning of the technical term. Consider this example: Jargon: Additional parameters for price exception reporting were established for nonstock labor buy costs. Better: Management decided to include nonstock labor buys of over $_in the price exception report. ‘The word parameters means factors which are held constant while other variables change. It is a term that is essential in mathematics and statistics, but it is rarely needed in general business writing. As the revision shows, the real meaning here was simple. Writing Strong Sentences You can make your sentences strong by using active verbs most of the time, using strong verbs, tightening your writing, varying your sentence length and sentence structure, and using parallel verbs. Use Active Verbs Most of the Time. A verb is active if the grammatical subject of the sentence does the action the verb describes. A verb is passive if the subject is acted upon. Passives are usually made up of a form of the verb fo be plus a past participle. Passive has nothing to do with past. Passives can be past, present, or future: were received (in the past) recommended (in the present) will be implemented (in the future) To spot a passive, find the verb. If the verb describes something that the grammatical subject is doing, the verb is active. If the verb describes something that is being done to the ‘grammatical subject, the verb is passive Active Passive The customer received 500 widgets. Five hundred widgets were received by the customer. I recommend this method. This method is recommended by me. ‘The state agencies will implement the pro- The program will be implemented by the state gram. agencies.Making Your Writing Easy to Read 21 Verbs can be changed from active to passive by making the direct object the new subject, To change a passive verb to an active one, you must make the agent ("by subject. If no agent is specified in the sentence, A ‘The plant manager approved the request. The committee will decide next month. Send the customer a letter informing her about the change. ") the new supply one to make the sentence active. Passive The request was approved by the plant man- ager. A decision will be made next month, A letter will be sent informing the customer of the change. If the sentence does not have a direct object in its active form, no passive equivalent exists. the active verb, Active I would like to go to the conference. ‘The freight charge will be about $1,400. The phone rang. No passive exists Passive verbs have at least three disadvantages: 1. If all the information in the ori al sentence is reta ined, passive verbs make the sentence longer. Passives take more time to understand? 2. If the agent is omitted, it's not clear who is responsible for the action, 3. When many passive verbs are used, or when passives are used in material that has a lot of big words, the writing can be boring and pompous. Passive verbs are desirable in these situations: 1. Use passives to emphasize the object receiving the action, not the agent. The company was founded in 1975. ‘The company, not the founder, i2 The Inwin Business Communication Handbook 2. Use passives to provide coherence within a paragraph. A sentence is easier to read if "old" information comes at the beginning of a sentence. When you have been discussing a topic, use the word again as your subject even if that requires a passive verb, ‘The bank made several risky loans in the 1970s and 80s. These loans were written off as "uncollectible" in 1991 Using loans as the subject of the second sentence provides a link between the two sentences, making the paragraph as a whole easier to read. 3. Use passives to avoid assigning blame. The order was damaged during shipment. An active verb would require the writer to specify who damaged the order. The passive here is more tactful. If none of these cases applies, use active verbs. They make your writing more interesting and easier to read. Use Strong Verbs—Not Nouns-—to Carry the Weight of Your Sentence. ut the weight of your sentence in the verb. Strong verbs make sentences more forceful and up to 25% easier to read.’ When the verb is a form of the verb to be, revise the sentence to use a clearer verb. Weak: The financial advantage of owning this equipment instead of leasing it is 10% after taxes. Better: Owning this equipment rather than leasing it will save 10% after taxes. Nouns ending in -ment, -ion, and -al often hide verbs. Use verbs to present the information more forcefully. make an adjustment adjust make a payment pay make a decision decide make a referral refer reach a conclusion conclude take into consideration consider provide assistance assist‘Making Your Writing Easy to Read 23, Tighten Your Writing. Writing is wordy if the same idea can be expressed in fewer words. Unnecessary words increase typing time, bore your reader, and make your meaning more difficult to follow, since the reader must hold all the extra words in mind while trying to understand your meaning. Good writing is tight. Tight writing may be long because it is packed with ideas Eliminate words that say nothing. Cut words that are already clear from other words in the sentence. Substitute single words for wordy phrases. Wordy: Ideally, it would be best to put the billing ticket just below the CRT. screen and above the keyboard. Tighter: If possible, put the billing ticket between the CRT screen and the keyboard. Phrases beginning with of, which, and that can often be shortened. Wordy: the question of most importance Tighter: the most important question Wordy: the idea which was proposed Tighter: the proposal Sentences beginning with There are or It is can often be tighter. Wordy: There are three reasons for the success of the project. Tighter; Three reasons explain the project’s success. Wordy: It is the case that college graduates advance more quickly in the company. Tighter: College graduates advance more quickly in the company.24 ‘The Irwin Business Communication Handbook Figure 4.1 Words to Cut quite really very Cut redundant maximum refer back teue facts ‘The following words can usually be cut: eperied-efthree months continue on during the-course-ef the negotiations during the yearof 1994 in-eonjunetion with past experience plan ir-advance the-coler blue Substitute a single word for a wordy phrase. atthe presentiime now duetethefactthat because inthe-eventthat if priortethestatef — before words. possible b. Use gerunds and infinitives to make sentences shorter and smoother. A gerund is the -ing form of a verb; grammatically, it is a verb used as a noun. In the sentence, "Running is my favorite activity,” running is the subject of the sentence. An infinitive is the form of the verb which is preceded by to: to run is the infinitive. In the revision below, a gerund (purchasing) and an infinitive (to transmit) tighten the ‘sion, Wordy: Tighter: A plant suggestion has been made where they would purchase a QWIP machine for the purpose of transmitting test reports between plants. ‘The plant suggests purchasing a QWIP machine to transmit test reports between plants. Even when gerunds and infinitives do not greatly affect length, they often make sentences smoother and more conversational‘Making Your Writing Easy to Read 25 ¢. Combine sentences to eliminate unnecessary words. In addition to saving words, combining sentences sharpens the relationship between ideas, makes your writing sound more sophisti cated, and focuses the reader’s attention on key points. Wordy: Tighter: I conducted this survey by telephone on Sunday, April 21. I questioned ‘two groups of upperclassmen-male and female-who, according to the Student Directory, were still living in the dorms. The purpose of this survey was to find out why some upperclassmen continue to live in the dorms even though they are no longer required by the University to do so. 1 also wanted to find out if there were any differences between male and female upperclassmen in their reasons for choosing to remain in the dorms. (On Sunday, April 21, I phoned upperclassmen and women living in the dorms to find out (1) why they continue to live in the dorms even though they are no longer required to do so, and (2) whether men and women had the same reasons for staying in the dorms. 4. Reword sentences to cut the number of words. If none of the first three methods work, reword the sentence. Think about what you ntean and try saying the same thing in several dif ferent ways. Some alternatives will be tighter than others. Choose the tightest one. Wordy: Better: Tight: ‘The reason we are recommending the computerization of this process is because it will reduce the time required to obtain data and will provide more accurate data. We are recommending the computerization of this process because it will save time and provide more accurate data, Computerizing the process will provide more accurate data more quickly. Vary Sentence Length and Sentence Structure. Readable prose mixes sentence lengths and varies sentence structure, A really short sentence (under 10 words) can add punch to your prose. Really long sentences (over 30 or 40 words) are danger signs. You can vary sentence patterns in several ways. First, you can mix simple, compound, and complex sentences. Simple sentences have one main clause: We will open a new store this month.26 The Irwin Business Communication Handbook ‘Compound sentences have two main clauses joined with and, but, or, or another conjunction. ‘Compound sentences work best when the ideas in the two clauses are closely related. We have hired staff, and they will complete their training next week. We wanted to have a local radio station broadcast from the store during its grand opening, but the DJs were already booked. ‘Complex sentences have one main and one subordinate clause; they are good for showing logical relationships. ‘When the stores open, we will have balloons and specials in every department. Because we already have a strong customer base in the northwest, we expect the new store to be just as successful as the store in the City Center Mall. You can also vary sentences by changing the order of elements. Normally the subject comes first. We will survey customers later in the year to see whether demand warrants a third store on campus. To create variety, occasionally begin the sentence with some other part of the sentence. Later in the year, we will survey customers to see whether demand warrants a third store on campus. To see whether demand warrants a third store on campus, we will survey customers later in the year. Use these guidelines for sentence length and structure: © Always edit sentences for tightness. Even a 17-word sentence can be wordy. © When your subject matter is complicated or full of numbers, make a special effort to keep sentences short. © Use long sentences to show how ideas are linked to each other; to avoid a series of short, choppy sentences; and to reduce repetition, © Group the words in long and medium-length sentences into chunks. © When you use a long sentence, keep the subject and verb close together.