] Review of the Essay vou will rn is for writing e9sa¥- parts and formal Inthi y ® consider reason: review the standard p 1 review mothods of suppor! Bi review process writing: of an 55> 1 Work in a small group. Discuss these questions. ty students write essays? (e.g., to demonstrate that © What are sonie reasons unive nd something) they have thought about or le © What aro some common types of essays? (v.g., comparison/contrast) «Imagine that you have been asked to write a 500-word essay on a topic that is familiar to you. -How much time will it take you? -What will be the easiest par!? The most challenging part? ~ What will you do first? Then what steps will you follow? 2° Read the exam a ; ample student essay, Check unfamiliar v Grade with your instructor. iy: Checkcunfainiliar-yoeahility;ii adage Note: This is : ae te note first draft of a student essay, so it is not perfect. You will have the chance); nis on and improvements to this essay as you work through this course:Jun Kang English Composition 10) March 15, 2011 Supar: Friend or Foe? In the developed world, sugar is Present in almost all aspects of our dict, ‘The most common Sources Of natural sugar are sugar cane and the Sugar beet. Sugar also ocours naturally most frui in OS! FIs atid Sonne other feels, Howeves jicadaition to theve natural sugars, there is a huge amount of refined sugar added to the food and drink we consume. Soft drinks, sweets, desserts, fast food, and even salty foods like crisps all contain some form of sugar added to make them taste better. The results of this over-consumption of sugar are worrying. It is linked 10 obesity, tooth decay, diabetes, and other illnesses and conditions, People should be aware of the amount of sugar in their diets and take steps to reduce it ‘Raw sugar has been eaten by humans for thousands of years. Sugar is a form of pure energy, high in calories and low in nutrients. Like gasoline refined from taw enude oll, refined sugar has undergone a process to make it easy to store, transport, and consume, Refined supar fuels the body with instant energy, while also having.a pleasant taste, In fact, it is this pleasant taste that is the problem. The appealing taste can make a person want to consume more, even when the body is at rest and has no need of sugar. Over-filling a cat with gasoline ereates only a minor spill at the local filling station, but over-filling a human with Sugar can create much greater problems. “One of the greatest dangers of consuming too much refined sugar is obesity. Many college students in Japan and Korea, for example, report that they gain weight during their studies abroad in North America and Western Europe. There could be many reasons for this, eft re ETE ER Reese regions are ofte an Visitors 00 ids are, I fact, when the typical th that of most Asian or one primary’ cause is eating 109 much sug: oy aweet te £00 how common sweets aré and ho is compared W" ot in North America} 4 ates corresponds #08 similar difference in rates: of the average dis countries, the difference is ¢ in tuen can lead ¢0 MANY other probler particularly among children- Obesity disease and depression. Inaddition to obesity, refined s4 sooth decay, nd gout By changing out suBer 5 saris responsible for arise ‘and illnesses such as diabetes, tan reduce the occurrence of these serious ailments: a a ea Rea ugar steals nutrients from the body. The bod Finally, over-consumption of refined st engine, the metabolism, ‘has preat difficulty, burning refined sugars. and so it ‘must us convert refined sugars into energy. This is why refined g ed.stg of its own stored nutricats £0 been éalled a thief. 6 In conclusion, instead of being a useful fuel for se ; ir the body, refined sugar Products, eating sugar only in modera ge. Everyone nee gi ideration E ds is a big challen, oii chalk allenge and recognize how Serious it is, 4 Look at the introd ction. Whi kat the intr tion, WI 5 c b. What is s the functi ‘on of the other Sentences in the i e introduction? c. How many Major points are ere in the e y Or points are ¢ th he essay? What are they? OPPO F9write everything down even ik coasn't S267 tefl at ist. YOU can 6 ut ideas that dont work fater, The more ideas Yor have to work with, though. the easier it will be to wri your paper. : = ideas, the next step is ted a lot of ideas, ; SS a oe Gross out ideas that aren't ralovant oF ene (2) ing, circle or sta the Ideas you want to use. Number 8 s port them from the most important to the least agi Then wi Second mai pin write an outine. f your outing fs Very detail vats oe suppor | first drat will go quickly and you will stay organized. a. Example | Now you are ready for (3) , or Writing your paper, b. Example B, Support mber to include all of your ideas, and in the: wut outline as you write so that you remel f Seed Se ‘Some writers find it easiest to write the introduction and conclusion last; others Stat at the beginning and write all the way through. is written, it's time for (4) ous. oF checking. Sometimes you will read ee ana ‘sometimes you will exchange papers with a classmate. Make notes about where you want to add information, where you want to take out any sentences that — ‘relevant, and any other changes you'd like to make. Review the original assignment ke sure you have addressed the task and included all necessary parts. : _ also known as editing, refers to actually making the changes. If you! ‘comiments from another reader, remember that you do not have to. tion. You are the writer, so the final choice is still yours. However, ‘clear and complete. Remember to use your computer's spell ch lor about any language or vocabulary issues you can't figut Rue ee) 1) . For professional writers, this ne eel ‘r magazine or posted online; for students, i ing means that " preparation (br. Publishing is succes ee ill go much more smoothly, Reviewing 4 8 your best efforts to your audience, so that you! YOU Will be " ful, :Put it together a Think of a creative example, cooking ameat une ¥ than writing that involves several steps; for meal, writin, eeioys ~ oy § 4. Song, decorating a room, planning a vacation b Write a short des creative p Braitistorming Organizing Drafting. Reviewing Revising Publishing first, | brainstorm ideas about how te decorate the coakies. For example, | could use Seasonal colors or make abstract designs. or write my friends’ names, or make ther look like aninials, or color them like my favorit teaitis colors. Then, lorganize the ingredi need to decorate bhe cook alnife, colored frosting. ut Sprinkles. plates: eppoats raising, and Jodrattiny cookies. lapply the frosting and decorations using a knife, a spoon.and my fingers. Ireview my cookies by arranging them ona plate and looking at them | judge whether they look like| want them ta \ revise my cookies by makinga few changes. If any decorations have fallen off. | put new 2 on, add same mone nuts Or raising to cooWles that are too plain IP there are any cookies that look too ugly, | remove them—by eating them! Finally, lam ready to publish my cookies, lserve them to my friends at a party.| aso serve 6 tea. Successl Allof the cookies are eaten. © Present your process to a small group or the whole class.