Ophelia’s thoughts and feelings

I am Ophelia, proud daughter of the noble late Polonius. Gone too soon
by the sword of my lover. Double the kill. The pain of forty thousand
daughters could not, with all their quantity of sorrow, make my sum. My
father, my leader, my reason to be here, lost to the brutal hands of murder.
Who can I listen to now? To listen is my form of communication, when I
am not able to speak. My father, the man who gave me the education to
be a women in this world. Without him, who can I obey? Hamlet? Look at
what he has done to me. I am not a ‘green girl’. My heart is blue.
Weakened by the cruelty of love, weakened by the cruelty of men. No, a
man. The Old Hamlet, the King, my father, dear Laertes, they are the
great men in my life. Hamlet? He once was. Not until his being dismantled
into a monster. I? Make myself another? God has given me one face, and
one face only, is what I have. Look at Hamlet, tell him to look in the mirror
and tell me then, who is the one who makes themselves another?

I often wonder what it would be like to be a man. No one would be rightful

to tell me who I truly am. I would speak loud and more than I am expected
to say, and the most they could do is tell me not to be so vain. I am vain,
vain for the little importance they give me. I am Ophelia. Young, beautiful
and pure. To be vain in beauty, isn’t that what they expect of girls? My life
rules under their wishes.

But today I have my wishes. I wish to be with my father. And perhaps the
Old Hamlet now rules a kingdom above. I know, soon my brother Laertes
will join me. All will seem well again, when all is reborn. If God will let me
beyond my power, let my greatest power be over my existence, and here,
I choose to bid farewell. Let me, before I am worse than a man, worse
than Hamlet.

I am Ophelia, once happy in sanity, a girl who fell in love.

‘Tis in my memory locked. When I once could love, and be loved by all.
Farewell.