Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Coach: www.TheNakedLifeCoach.com
Author: www.LivingTheNakedLife.com
Visionary: www.SatoriaNation.com
ISBN 978-1466422834
Dedication
To:
Forward
Welcome
1: Develop Complete Honesty
~ Multiple Layers ~
~ Love or Fear? ~
~ Within & Without ~
Review & Practice
If I wrote my life story that would be another 10 books (at least!) so I’ll
stick to the basics here.
I was raised in a conservative Christian (Seventh-Day Adventist) household
in small-town southwest Michigan. I was the oldest, having 3 brothers, all
approximately 2 years apart in age. I remember my childhood as being very
happy.
My mom gave us all lots of love. She was always optimistic and caring. She
would take us on nature walks and teach us about everything (she was 4
credits shy of a teaching degree, before she decided to stay home and raise
us kids). I learned a lot of valuable lessons from her. My dad was self-
employed with a construction business, and sometimes would take us on the
job and have us help with clean-up.
We were fairly poor. We had a nice house, thanks to my grandparents
financing help and my dad’s construction skills (he refurbished a burned out
4 bedroom home they found for about $20,000 in 1982). Aside from that,
we were cash poor and on and off state welfare programs throughout my
childhood.
Somehow, despite our general lack of funds, we did manage to take road
trips almost every year; to the grandparent’s homes in upstate New York,
great grandma’s farm in Pennsylvania, and the grandparent’s winter home
in Florida. Those trips engendered a lifelong love of travel in me.
My mom was a homemaker until she and my dad separated when I was 9,
ultimately divorcing. Then she became an entrepreneur as well, selling
Avon, jewelry, and once even frozen treats (I think we kids ate up the profit
on that venture!).
Even though neither of my parents ever became wealthy, their examples of
self-leadership led me to a lifetime of entrepreneurship as well.
Both my parents were college educated, dad as a minister, and mom as a
teacher. I too have attended to college from time to time, majoring first in
computer science, and then in business management.
While I enjoy learning I have never had a true desire to get a degree, and
am largely self-educated in an omnivorous renaissance fashion, studying
everything that interests me rather than a narrow path to a certain specialty.
I have been an entrepreneur since childhood, when I made jewelry and sold
it door-to-door, and since then I have owned and operated many businesses
spanning multiple fields, including; cleaning, graphic design, entertainment,
sales, software design, financial services, retail, and I now bring all that
diverse experience to my Naked Life Coaching practice.
I have led an unconventional life. Growing up I had never wanted to be a
wife or mother, although now I am a single mother of an amazing 17 year
old daughter. She provided quite an impetus for me to develop my sense of
responsibility! I sometimes say that without her I would probably have
ended up living on a hippie bus, and who knows, I may do that at some
point in the future.
I have a wide variety of interests. One of my goals is to be a lounge singer
in Las Vegas (just for a month!) and another is to completely restructure the
world (see Appendix B). I like to keep things interesting. I love to sing,
dance, paint, and make spreadsheets!
My first introduction to considering possible alternative ways of life came
when I was 10 and discovered the great author Robert Anson Heinlein in
the library.
The first indication I had that we create our own reality came when I was
thirteen, when I found that how I felt about how I looked had an effect on
others.
From age 13 to 15, I studied Wicca. I gradually came to realize that spells
and rituals, and in fact, any belief set, are simply tools to allow our mind to
accept that we can create whatever it is that we want to create.
As a young mother I read The Celestine Prophecy, and that added a new
dimension to my knowledge of the creative power, and opened up a field of
study that has become my passion. Since then I have been studying
quantum physics, the ‘Law of Attraction’, neuro-linguistic programming
(NLP), and whatever I find on the power of the human mind.
For the past few years I have been working intently on myself, on changing
my mental patterns to create the reality I want. Throughout this book there
will be anecdotes about that particular journey.
~ Thanks ~
Being Naked is about more than just the discarding of clothing. It is about
discarding the need for protection of any kind, physical or conceptual. It is
about reframing our lives around the knowledge that there is complete
harmony in the universe! It is about embracing the abundance that is our
birthright. It is about accessing our own divinity. It is about living with
complete freedom and enjoying every moment of the experience.
1: Develop Complete Honesty
Each of these 10 Ways are part of a greater whole, in other words, rather
than step one leading to step two and so forth, they all flow together and are
equally important and integral to the intention of consciously creating our
reality. Thus the numbers are solely for ease of reference.
One of the most important goals on our path to full awareness and
conscious creation is to become completely honest, first with ourselves,
then with the world around us.
What do you most want right now? What have you wanted in the past? Did
you receive it or fail to get it? Perhaps this is your first attempt at being
consciously introspective! Most of us are never taught to examine our own
motivations and biases, let alone those of others! Instead, we are trained to
complete our actions systematically, following rules, guidelines and
traditions without thought, quickly moving on to the next engagement.
Life appears to be a series of examinations. Take a test, pass or fail, and
move on to the next subject. Pick a career, get trained, look for work and try
to answer all the questions correctly. If we fail, we simply go to the next
job. Even our relationships with others are a matter of learned patterns. We
build up an idea in our minds sometimes wholly based on subconscious
beliefs about life.
Some few of us are trained to evaluate causation because that is the nature
of our work, or we become partially aware of another’s motivations,
because they may explain themselves to us. We may seek a fuller
understanding, but if we improperly evaluate the causation or seek
justification in other’s motives, our partial or invalid conclusions may result
in depression or giving up and returning to placidity.
The object of this study is to take control of our own power. Taking a stance
of complete honesty is not initially an effortless path; however, with
dedication, practice, and awareness of truth’s effects, living in this new
harmonious state of mind soon becomes automatic and natural.
Honesty is the foundation of wisdom. When we are completely honest, both
with ourselves and others, it aids our total creative abilities by allowing us
to see ourselves and others clearly, as well as deciphering what we truly
want to create in our reality.
As we become more introspective and aware of our own minds workings,
we begin to be more tolerant and thoughtful of others as well, overall
creating a drastic improvement in our entire life.
As you become more honest with yourself, you will be able to project and
receive honesty with others.
~ Multiple Layers ~
We can only love each other to the degree we are capable of loving
ourselves. And we can arrive at the greatest love for ourselves through
acknowledging that everything, every experience we’ve had, and every
thing we’ve thought or done, all is a part of us. It is neither good nor bad,
just simply a part of us. It may serve us, or it may detriment us, but
ultimately it is part of ourselves, and the more we try to hide, the more we
are dishonest with ourselves about all the parts within us, the more we
ultimately harm ourselves.
In order to become completely congruent, we need to accept ourselves fully,
even the things that we may have thought were bad about ourselves, even
the things we may have been criticized by others for, or shamed ourselves
about. Everything is a part of our selves, and acceptance ultimately leads to
love and healing within.
We know that people fear what they don’t understand. Here is a progression
of how honesty leads to love:
1. Increased honesty leads to a greater sharing of truthful information.
2. The more truthful information that is shared, the more understanding
can occur.
3. As our understanding grows, our acceptance widens.
4. Acceptance allows us to have a great experience.
5. Great experiences ultimately show us how to love.
When we make our choices based on love we are expanding our abilities
exponentially to infinity.
This concept applies first to you. The more truthful information you share
with yourself, through conscious honest self-reflection, the more
understanding you can be toward yourself. As you are more understanding
you will begin to accept yourself for who you truly are. As you begin to
accept yourself, you will begin to truly experience yourself as you never
have before. As you experience yourself you can’t help but begin to love
yourself. As you truly grow to love yourself, you can then begin to love
others.
As you share more honest information with others, they will better
understand you, and reciprocate by sharing more truthful information with
you. Then you and they will begin to understand each other better. As you
understand each other, acceptance of each other will occur. As your mutual
acceptance grows, so too will grow your love for each other.
Love is like a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger it will grow.
Love is like dancing, the more you practice with a partner the better your
teamwork becomes. Love recognizes that we are all one, so we treat each
other as we would wish to be treated. We must first love ourselves before
we can love another. When we love ourselves fully and then love each other
as we love ourselves, the whole world will live in harmony.
And it’s all possible with complete honesty.
Review & Practice
1. Pick an important decision you made in the past, and analyze it in
writing on a separate piece of paper, taking into account exactly what
factors went into deciding that choice. Remember to include; prior
memories which influenced the choice, subconscious controls, un-
examined biases, societal programming, your current bodily
condition, your current mood, the vibes you pick up from others, your
current perception, your overall outlook, what you desired, and what
you feared.
Weighing all those factors, was the choice you made based primarily
on fear or love?
2. Determine what type of thinking you habitually do; visual, auditory,
kinetic (list touch, taste, and/or smell), and/or feeling.
3. Write down 3 statements you habitually make about yourself or your
experiences.
4. Write down 3 goals you have for yourself.
5. What is your favorite exercise from this chapter?
6. List one idea you’ve always considered to be either/or, and then list
at least 3 other options – no matter how ‘impossible’ those options
may seem. For example: “night or day, and dusk, dawn, noon”.
7. Using the analysis from question 1 above and the knowledge you
now have, list which factors have changed and which have stayed the
same. Analyze each factor and decide which factors you now want to
consciously change. Write down some alternatives to each choice.
2: Assume Total Responsibility
We create our own reality all the time. This concept covers every factor of
our experience, both on an individual and a group level. There are no
exceptions to this rule.
Quantum physics has demonstrated that ‘you can’t have a universe without
mind entering into it’. From the minute and inconsequential, to major
‘earth-shattering’ life-changing events, we are always in control of what we
experience. Nothing ‘just happens’.
I want to extend that, and make it clear that I fully believe in mind over
matter. Is there any completely objective reality? No. However, there are
rules that we all agree to maintain, and those rules govern our lives as long
as we agree to them.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that the laws of physics don’t
exist. What I am asking you to wrap your mind around is the idea that we
literally make up reality as we go along. We make up all the rules by which
we live, and we can individually or collectively modify those rules as they
apply to us.
I believe that levitation by mental will power is possible, and that it has
been done. As my friend Joth Andrews pointed out ‘If we were raised in a
society where we were expected to levitate by age 5, we’d all be flying
around right now.’
You may not believe that such things are possible. In any case, please use
this idea to stretch your imagination. The point is, anything is possible, we
just haven’t figured out the correct tools to allow our mind to accept the
ability. And of course, from childhood on we are actively trained to limit
our beliefs.
I hereby challenge you to challenge all your assumptions! I believe that
when we come into awareness of, and start exercising, our true power, we
can literally create anything we would like out of the pure energy that is the
basis of all that is.
Perhaps that day is far in the future, perhaps it is tomorrow. What is the
speed of your belief? The speed of thought is the fastest known constant in
the scientific universe.
Of course, in order to experience the causality of your thoughts, it is
necessary to start thinking and acting on the basis that maybe, just maybe,
the idea is true. I deem that any system of beliefs, whether it is the rituals of
magic, or the new diet, the exercise program, the resume, even this book,
are all just tools we have created to allow our minds to accept that we can
create the results we desire.
In this volume, I’ve tried to limit the actual work needed, and skip straight
to the reality creation part. I will be constantly reminding you that you are
in charge! This book is dedicated to giving you the insights I’ve had into
how this process has worked for me, and the concepts that I’ve found to be
helpful.
The quickest path, in truth, is simply to have unwavering faith that ‘all is
well, all is well, and all manner of things are well’. But most of us still want
to be convinced of this!
Although I was raised in a very conservative religious home, I do not
consider myself to be religious. While I don’t subscribe to Christian dogma,
I do think that Jesus was a fully awakened human being. He said that
everything he did, we also could do. He said that if we had faith the ‘size of
a mustard seed’ we could tell the mountain to move and it would.
I started out with faith considerably smaller than a mustard seed. And I
must admit I still haven’t moved any mountains (although I really don’t
have any reason or desire to move mountains!). I am working each and
every day on cultivating and exercising my faith as an ability of the mind.
The problem with religious dogmatism is that it asks you to have faith in
something outside ourselves – which leads right back to the idea that things
somehow ‘just happen’ or are ‘God’s will’ – again placing responsibility
outside of ourselves. That idea is an easy out, as most of us don’t want to
accept total and unwavering responsibility for everything that has happened
in our lives.
Taking complete and utter responsibility for every aspect of our lives is a
huge step, isn’t it? It may be especially difficult for someone who has
perhaps been ‘abused’ or been the ‘victim’ of an ‘accident’.
When you do take that responsibility, over your past and extending
infinitely into your future, THEN you have freed yourself for the most
exhilarating and exciting journey imaginable – crafting your life exactly the
way you want it from now on!
The possibilities are infinite. You can make new ‘discoveries’ and learn to
do the ‘impossible’. You can create anything you can imagine, once the
basic principle of complete responsibility has been accepted.
It is simple. I don’t claim it’s easy. We have been programmed from birth to
believe the opposite, to believe in our limitations.
Our challenge now is to reprogram our minds to revel in the infinite.
‘Babies must crawl before they can walk’ is the accepted truism. However,
your limitations are only the limitations you choose to accept, and I believe
that baby can first learn to walk, and then learn to fly!
So let’s get busy learning how to fly (or whatever other ‘impossible’ you’d
like to enjoy). ‘But wait!’ You exclaim. ‘There’s an objective reality. What
about… (name off all the things you don’t enjoy on the planet; illness,
accidents, death, aging, lack, limitations, etc.)’.
Yes, I agree that those things have happened, are happening, and will be
happening, at least until a major shift in consciousness has occurred in the
critical mass of humanity. As more and more people awaken to their innate
power, we can come to make new agreements among ourselves and affect a
positive reality shift more swiftly.
So, it’s true that all these ‘negative things’ exist, however, the fact of their
existence is all that we actually know, not their causality. At present there is
no way to know exactly what thoughts each person has had or will have that
is creating that specific reality on an individual and group level.
The only complete evidence we currently can have of how mind affects
matter is the subjective evaluation of our own thoughts and correlating
experiences. At least until someone develops a telepathic recording device –
which would make writing this book so much quicker!
To reiterate: one of the largest changes we can make to assist us in the goal
of developing our creative power is to become completely honest with
ourselves. In chapter 1 we discussed how you can use awareness to develop
that honesty in yourself.
In this chapter we will examine how to use honesty in order to take
complete control over our reality, which is to assume full responsibility for
our creations, past, present, and future.
~ Past Creations ~
Assuming total responsibility for our past is a huge step! Especially for
anyone who has ever suffered abuse at the hands of another, been in an
accident, had a serious illness, or lived with a lot of negativity in their life.
Ultimately, we all choose our life and our experiences on some level,
whether we do it consciously or unconsciously.
In fact, I believe our consciousness extends before birth and after death, and
before we are even born into this dimension we have selected the type of
experience we want to have, this time.
Why, then, would anyone choose to have a horrible life? Choose to be born
with deformities, or get cancer at age five, or be in an accident? Or any of
the horrible lives it is possible to have?
Let me use an analogy put forth by Richard Bach in Illusions… What kind
of movies do you enjoy watching? Have you ever watched a horror movie?
Did you enjoy that horror film during the time it took for you to watch it?
I believe that we choose the experiences of our lives before birth, just as we
pick out what movie we want to watch today. The only difference is the
length and intimacy of the experience. And while we may have picked out
that movie or life, at any time we can hit the stop button and choose a
different experience.
Growing up, as I said in the introduction, my mother was a source of
optimism for the most part. Yet, as I entered my teens I started to observe
how she was creating reality out of her fears. For example, she always was
worried about her car breaking down. As a consequence, her car did break
down quite often.
My first act of conscious creation was a rebellion to my mother. She
worried about people stealing her inventory, and people stole from her. She
worried about her health, and she was always getting sick.
As a consequence, I created settings for myself that ‘my cars always run
great’ – and they do, that ‘people leave my stuff alone’ – and they do, that ‘I
am always young, fit and healthy’ – and I am.
So, people don’t always choose their reality consciously, but any pattern of
thought or belief will tend to create the object or circumstances for you to
experience that belief. In essence, whatever you believe will become a ‘self-
fulfilling prophecy’ and create or bring into your experience more objects
or circumstances that tend to reinforce that belief.
I call these ‘reality settings’. Any belief that we hold on to very strongly can
become a setting. I call them settings because, rather than an affirmation,
which we may think of as ‘just words’, it is a powerful new way to think.
To believe that, like turning the knob on the radio to a new setting, we can
change the channel and choose a new reality setting just as easily.
The fun part is recognizing your current settings, and then creating new
ones, which we’ll discuss in chapter 6. The settings that I created due to my
observations of my mother are some of my oldest and strongest settings.
The setting that ‘my cars always run great’ is so powerful that it actually
fixed the broken air conditioner in a car I bought, and fixed my alignment
when I ‘accidentally’ ran into a curb. In fifteen years, through four vehicles,
aside from general maintenance such as oil changes, brakes and tires, I have
had to replace one serpentine belt and one distributor cap.
Here’s another example: I have a setting that ‘I am always safe’. It has been
over 10 years since I was in a car accident, and in that accident I was
completely unharmed (oh, I had one scratch on my ankle, so I couldn’t say I
got out of it without a scratch!).
A friend of mine recently told me his fear of driving, because he has been in
something like eight accidents over the last two years. His fear keeps
bringing more accidents! After an accident I had been in about thirteen
years ago, I too had started to develop that fear, but through a conscious
exercise of will I put the fear aside and decided to hold to the belief that ‘I
am always safe’.
Exercise: Review your past, and see if you can pinpoint the settings you
had, or still have, which created those experiences. Take a few minutes
with your journal, and write down some of the things you currently and
frequently both think, and say, about yourself, your life, and your
circumstances. Be completely honest. Now is the time to become aware
of your creative power.
Exercise: Looking back through your life, can you remember some
specific events that were created from your fears? And now think of
some experiences that had worked out just as you had hoped they
would. Perhaps you visualized or thought of something very specific
that actually came to be carried out ‘live’.
Can you start to accept the idea that you and you alone, have total
responsibility for every aspect of your life, good or bad?
Let’s extend this and get a bit more specific. What are your views on other
people? Knowing what you understand now about vibes, how people
respond to our expectations, and how we create our own reality, how do you
NOW choose to think about others?
Exercise: Try an experiment tomorrow: Go to sleep tonight with the
idea firmly set in your mind that ‘I always meet great people’. Remind
yourself throughout the day tomorrow, saying, “I always meet great
people” both to yourself and to others. Smile and be grateful for all the
wonderful people who are part of your life. Write down what happens.
Regardless of what has happened in your past, all of those experiences have
led you to become the person you are now, and to this exact moment in
which you hold in your hands the key to shaping your future exactly the
way you want it to be. With that in mind, can you begin, if not to believe
that you chose those experiences, to at least forgive them and move forward
with complete responsibility?
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean that
we want a person who has “done us wrong” to be right in what they did, but
it does mean that we will no longer cause ourselves to suffer with the
thoughts of hurt that we have held onto until now. Forgiveness means
letting go of hurt, letting go of fear, and letting go of anger. All of these
emotions ultimately harm only ourselves.
A key to forgiveness lies in recognizing that at all times every single one of
us is doing the best we know how to do. That doesn’t mean it’s the best that
we are capable of. But it is the very best that we know to do. Also, every
single action throughout history that we might consider “bad” or “evil” was
based on people doing the best they knew how to do. In addition, those
“evil” actions were often a reaction to fear-based ideas.
~ Present Creations ~
“Whatever the mind can conceive, and believe, the mind can
achieve.”
– Dr. Napoleon Hill Think & Grow Rich
Someday I believe that we will create anything we desire from pure thought
exerted upon pure energy. We will no longer have to laboriously build
things ‘by hand’ or use machines; we will be able to do everything with our
minds and wills alone. In a sense, our technological, material developments
are “training wheels” for our minds.
As individuals, we are creating our future with every thought about it, every
imagining is a possibility. The imaginings we have most strongly and most
consistently are most likely to become our reality.
For instance, I imagine finishing this book, then making a movie out of it,
and going on a world speaking tour in which I get whole stadiums of people
Naked! Now, having imagined it, I will keep on imagining it, I start telling
others about it and taking action towards creating that reality as I write this.
It is important for all of our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, expectations, words,
and actions to be congruent. When every facet of ourselves is in harmony
we more perfectly and quickly manifest exactly and only what we desire.
When we have incongruent desires, or a mix of desires and fears, we will
manifest both. Often these manifestations come together in one single
package.
The way to create that solid self-congruency is to become completely
honest with ourselves, take full responsibility, and begin to discard the
elements of our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, expectations, words and actions
that are out of harmony with our true desires.
Any thoughts containing elements of lack, limitation or fear should be
discarded immediately, so that we can manifest quickly and powerfully
whatever we desire.
Here’s an example of incongruent manifestation: Tom wants to buy a house.
He wants to buy this home as a way of providing for his family, but at the
same time he feels apprehensive because he knows that a house will be
expensive to maintain, and is a big responsibility.
His desire to provide for his family is exactly balanced against his
apprehensions about the increased responsibility. As a consequence,
everything about the process of making this purchase seems to be in
conflict. He has trouble finding a lender, then trouble with getting a loan.
Paperwork gets lost and needs to be redone on several occasions. He goes
through several different realtors as they each become unreliable. It is
difficult for him to settle on a house, and the whole family goes through the
process, looking at many houses over a course of months.
When the house is finally decided upon, the offer and acceptance process
takes as long as it can possibly take under the contract’s terms. Tom has
asked for some concessions including work to be finished on the house, and
the work takes longer to complete than it should. In short, due to the inner
conflict Tom had, almost every step of this process was a hassle and took
more work and effort.
Whenever you have such an inner conflict between what you desire and
what you fear, it is important to take the time to sit down with yourself and
iron out the differences. Decide what your highest ideal for the creation you
desire is, and then turn around any competing thoughts immediately.
You can make things easy or hard on yourself, you decide. Ultimately, it is
simply a matter of changing your perceptions.
Comic Relief
Language can reveal a lot about a culture. For instance, Eskimos have over
50 words for snow. In our current western culture, we have a lot of words
for duality and many of our questions are structured around the idea of
duality. It is important to pay attention to the questions we ask. Discovering
the best question to ask is key to finding the answers that serve us best.
In my life coaching practice one of the biggest things that I do is to ask the
right questions of and for my client. The answer to the question often leads
us right to the experience we need. Once a friend of mine was having
doubts about his healing abilities. I simply asked, “What would it take for
you to firmly believe in your abilities?” He had done a lot of internal
healing work on people, such as treating cancer with hypnotherapy. So,
while he intellectually knew that healing had taken place, as confirmed by
lab tests, he had never witnessed it for himself. He answered, “Seeing a
wound heal up right in front of me.”
Sure enough, the very next weekend an opportunity arose for this to
happen. A friend of ours showed up to an event with severe “road rash”
from a motorcycle accident. It was scabbed over, but we could all see that
in places it was green and looked infected. As we all watched, he worked
on healing her. First the wounds all turned from green to a healthier red.
Then new skin began to grow, albeit slowly. He asked for a pen or
something to mark the line of the wound with, and we did. We could then
actually see that new skin was growing beyond the mark that we made.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and
the door will be opened to you.”
- Matthew 7:7, NIV Bible
You may remember in chapter 1 I brought up the old tried and true
personality test of optimism/pessimism (another duality); the question
‘There is a glass of water, is it half full, or half empty?’ is one well-known
example. This question itself shows us the either/or type of thinking that is
very prevalent in our culture.
I think that this either/or, black & white mentality is adopted by our culture
partially because it is ‘easy’. If you only have 2 options, it’s not that hard to
choose. Also influencing this societal program is the Judeo/Christian
tradition of good vs. evil. Even if you were not raised in a religious
household, this ideology pervades our culture to a great degree.
Yes, duality does exist, and given our natures of male and female sexes, and
observing such obvious opposites as of day and night, sun and moon, it is
easy to see why we have this concept. However, the more discerning will
notice that for every duality, there really are many more options that are
being ignored because they don’t fit into this dual world-view.
In the turning of the world we are experiencing a constant shift of light,
high noon and middle night are just two extremes. We have late afternoon,
early morning, sunset and dawn, twilight, and all different types of light in
between.
In sexuality, we now know that not only should we consider male/female
pairings, but also gay and lesbian. More recently, trans-gender, gender
dysphoric, and asexual people are now an acknowledged part of the
population.
Let’s also include hermaphrodites, who I think of as being naturally a third
sex, and making the permutations even more expressive of reality, let’s add
the concepts of butch and femme lesbians, and masculine and flaming gays,
and if you want to get really creative add in all the different aspects of
consensual BDSM and D/s relationships. (BDSM is the standard
abbreviation for Bondage, Domination, Sado-Masochism. D/s is an
abbreviation for Dominant/submissive relationships)
Wow, so now when we think of sexuality, it’s not so much an either/or
choice anymore, is it?
When I was 18 it was a presidential election year (1994), and I went to vote
for the first time. Imagine my surprise to see not just Democrat and
Republican candidates, but, as I recall, at least five other parties who had
candidates on the ballot.
Nowadays we are more aware of the so-called ‘third parties’, but at that
time I had never even heard of these other parties. And we still don’t hear
much about them, because of this inane focus, this either/or mentality that
has been programmed into our society on every level.
Another example is from an ethics seminar: the question posed being about
a train, two tracks, and a switch. You are the conductor. On one track is
your child, on the other track is another train holding 300 people and
headed your way. Do you switch the train to hit the one child, or the 300
people?
I would postulate that there is a third option. Blow the whistle! The child
will move and you switch to the now cleared track. The point is, there are
always more options than we imagine or ‘know’ about. If you’re a Star Trek
fan, you will remember how Kirk beat the Kobayashi-Maru test by going
outside the normal formula of failure.
The trick is to shift your perceptions enough to start looking for those
additional options. This is also commonly referred to as ‘thinking outside
the box’.
So, next time somebody asks you if the glass is half full or half empty, try
just saying ‘I have water and I am content. And when I have drunk this
water, I will refill this glass’.
When we overcome our societal programming of this concept of duality and
realize that there are multiple options, it allows us to become more
completely honest. As we accept full responsibility for our own reality, the
‘devil’ disappears. We realize that by taking full responsibility we no longer
need or want a scapegoat.
One cannot be a victim without consent at some level. Realize that consent
can be as subtle as having the belief that there are such things as
“accidents” or “illness” or that we can be harmed by anything. The plan is
to change our perceptions; from the subconscious programming that we
could be victims to the conscious awareness that we really do create our
own reality in all aspects of our lives. As we begin to shift our perceptions
our awareness of our own part in our creations begins to be apparent.
I recently read an article about a “victim” who turned the tables on his
mugger. He had just gotten off the train and was on his way to a favorite
restaurant when a young man threatened him with a knife and demanded his
wallet. Our putative “victim” handed the wallet over without a struggle. As
the mugger was walking away he called out to him, and offered him his
jacket. The kid stared in confusion. Then he offered his attacker a meal. The
mugger went to dinner with him. At the conclusion of the meal he said
“Well, I would like to treat you to dinner, but you have my wallet.” The
young man, slightly embarrassed, returned his wallet, and he paid for
dinner, as well as giving the young man some money and an offer of
assistance .
This story perfectly illustrates how we can choose or choose not to be
victims, and how love can transform our experience as well as the lives of
those around us, even those who might do us harm.
~ Mere Mirror Images ~
I read something a long time ago that has stuck with me and really changed
my perceptions. The basic idea is that we can never completely see another
person objectively; that anything we like or dislike about another is
something that we like or dislike about ourselves.
This realization was a powerful one. It caused me to question myself
whenever I came into contact with some one I didn’t like, or with someone
who I really admired. It made me much more open and accepting of
everyone I came in contact with.
Since the universe is reciprocal, others became more accepting of me. In
effect, it helped me to take my ego out of the equation, and really try to see
others for who they are, not who I think they are.
Often we tend to judge others by what we would choose to do, or how we
would choose to act. We may use phrases such as “he lacks common sense”
or “she’s a real idiot for doing that” or even the slightly more honest “If I
were them, I’d (fill in choice here)” We can never know all of the factors
that go into making up another’s choice. Heck, it’s enough of a challenge to
figure out all of the factors that go into our own choices!
Judging another’s actions is really silly! If we all made the same choices all
the time we would be a pack of robots, not human beings! In addition to
being silly, it can even be unhealthy or damaging to our selves to try to
guess others motivations or to do what we think or others think we “should”
do. The word “should” is one of the worst things we can inflict on ourselves
or others. Make it fun. Stop “shoulding” on yourself!
If in doubt about other’s motivations or actions ask a straightforward
question. “Why did you do that? It’s not what I would have done, and I’m
really curious about how you think.” Whether you ask or not, in order to
access your creative power it is necessary to release judgment about others
and move into the realization that every one of us is always doing the best
that we know how with the tools that we have.
“Every art and every inquiry, and similarly every action and choice,
is thought to aim at some good; and for this reason the good has
rightly been declared to be that at which all things aim.”
- Aristotle
When we judge our selves or another being without taking the time to truly
understand them, we cost ourselves a great opportunity to learn a new
perspective. We become so busy holding up our mirror to the person and
comparing it, we miss out on the deeper, hidden parts of their lives.
Being honestly curious about others opens us up to developing our
imaginative faculties that aid in creation. We are all here in this dimension
of reality by choice; we came here for the experience of being in a material
form. We have created the reality we wished to experience, now that we are
conscious of that, we know that we can change that experience at any time.
Another mirror that we often judge the present by is our past experiences.
Good, bad, or indifferent, sometimes we don’t see what is now before us,
because we are blinded by our past. All vision is learned pattern
recognition.
We learn from childhood ‘what’ things are. That is a tree; this is a table, and
there is a car. Depending on our teacher’s personal proclivities and our own
interests, we will learn more discernment about certain objects, for
example, rather than just learning to identify cars, trucks, etc, we will learn
‘that is a 1972 Chevy Nova’ or ‘that is a 2010 Jeep Cherokee’.
Similarly, we learn patterns of acting and reacting. We learn patterns of
relationships. We learn patterns of work, patterns of health, patterns of
judgment, patterns of stress or peace. We learn patterns that govern every
area of our lives. Depending on the pattern we originally learned, we tend to
judge all occurrences in our lives by it, thereby blinding us to what is true
and good now.
“We cheat ourselves unnecessarily out of joy in the present moment
just because we choose to utilize old programming that skews our
perception and leaves us with negative judgments about our current
reality. What is needed is to adjust our perception so that we might
see and appreciate the joy that has been overlooked through our
limited thinking and past programming.”
– Andrew Norman
The key to altering our perceptions lies in recognizing what we want,
choosing what is good, and then picking out the elements of our current
experience that reinforce that belief. This is called reframing.
A famous example of reframing is what Thomas Edison, said of the process
of inventing a better light bulb, ‘I have not failed, I have learned 99 ways
how not to make a better light bulb’.
When I was seventeen, I dated a man who was insecure and therefore
jealous. He would actually get mad at ME if someone complimented me.
After I left him I had to learn to reframe any compliments that I heard. In
essence, I had to teach myself again that I deserved to be told I am pretty, or
nice, or any good thing that someone wanted to say to me. I had to reframe
that the people who were complimenting me were doing it because they
were sincere in admiring me, that they were not “just saying” those things
because they wanted to have sex with me.
We can learn to reframe our own lives.
Exercise: Remember that old cliché, “Every cloud has a silver lining”.
Take something in the past that bothered you or hurt your feelings. Now,
think of all the positive things you can say about this event. You may
find it helpful to complete the sentence “At least _________”. This may
be one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do, but as you do it you
will begin to realize how much better you now feel about that incident.
Successful and happy people do this process all the time, subconsciously.
Somehow they learned when they were young how to do that. And now you
can too.
~ Unlimited Possibilities ~
How many times throughout your life have you felt you were a victim; of
circumstance, of others, or even of your own self-sabotage? When we take
conscious control of our reality creation processes, we realize that we never
were and never can be a victim.
At some level, we consent to everything in our lives, the good, bad or ugly,
even if it is only by acknowledging that such exists and that it could happen
to us.
I realize that this is probably the hardest lesson to absorb in this book. On
one level it may seem I’m saying ‘the victim asked for it’. Let me clarify
further. I’m not saying that anyone really ‘wants’ to have ‘bad’ experiences.
Since we do create our reality, by even accepting the idea that bad exists,
we draw it into our lives.
Exercise: Take illness for example. You may have had a bad cold in the
past. Now think back to when you ‘caught’ that cold.
What were the circumstances? Were you around another ill person?
Did you think to yourself something like ‘I hope I don’t catch that
cold’?
This is an example of a type of thought that would be allowing the
illness to take root in your body, because it is a fear-based perception.
Now think of all the nurses and doctors who deal with very ill people all
day long, yet stay healthy themselves. How do they do it? You have one
encounter with one sick person and blam! you’ve caught cold.
Now, think about a person you know who has been in car accidents over
and over. And recall another person you know who has never had a
single car accident. Is it luck, good or bad? Or is something else going
on?
The answer is found in what we consistently tell ourselves about our lives.
It may be hard to accept the idea that we or others have ‘chosen’ to be
victims, even on a subconscious level.
All our lives we have been taught to attribute cause and effect solely to
material means. But, when you are fully honest, when you accept complete
responsibility for your life, when you shift your perceptions, you will
realize that you have made a choice, even at a subconscious level, to have
the experience you have had.
Now you can choose to make your choices consciously, and choosing
consciously, can create a better reality for yourself.
So, if your thoughts include the possibility that you could be a victim in any
way – whether it is getting sick, being attacked, being in an ‘accident’ or
sabotaging yourself, realize that you are giving access for such things to
occur in your experience.
As I discussed earlier, in rebellion of my mother’s fears I created settings
that ‘My cars always run great’ and ‘People leave my stuff alone.’
How has this worked out for me? In 15 years and six vehicles, aside from
normal maintenance such as oil changes and replacing brakes and tires
occasionally, I have had to replace one serpentine belt and one distributor
cap (the cap was on a car I just purchased).
The setting works so well that my car has actually recovered from problems
on its own – I purchased a car about a year and a half ago that didn’t have a
working air conditioner. I knew it was bad when I bought it, and so I never
turned it on. About 6 months after buying the car, I loaned it to a friend for
a couple hours. He didn’t “know” that the AC was broken, and brought the
car back with it running fine.
“People leave my stuff alone” is such a powerful setting that, when I lived
in a trailer park a couple years ago I left my computer outside all day, in full
view of the street, and it was still there 10 hours later.
I was an exotic dancer for over 12 years, and rarely locked my bag or put it
in a locker. Co-workers bags on either side of mine would be pilfered
occasionally, but ‘people left my stuff alone’. I rarely ever lock my house or
my car.
Is this crazy behavior in today’s society? On an outward level, it may seem
so. But this is how faith works. If you truly believe that you are safe no
matter what, then you can never and will never be a victim again. This is an
exercise of faith, and can only be proven through experience.
We’ll explore how to craft efficient and effective reality settings in chapter
6.
Now, perhaps your past experience tells you that you can be a victim. The
thing about our experience is that it is completely subject to our
expectations. So, if reality is created by our expectations, why not start
expecting the best?!
But what about children, you ask? What about children who are abused,
become ill, or go through an accident? At some level, even in the youngest,
choice still exists. I truly believe we choose our lives and the circumstances
into which we are born.
Again, the reason some might choose such a ‘horrible’ reality is the same
reason we might sometimes choose to watch a horror movie: we enjoy the
experience. The only difference is the length and intimacy of the
experience. Realize that nothing can really harm you or anyone, that we are
energy manifesting in order to have a material experience, and that energy
can neither be created nor destroyed.
This is a challenging thought if you were abused as a child or have suffered
through traumatic life experiences. The most important advice I can offer
to help you change your life now, is to remember or acknowledge that at
some level you chose that experience, and the best choice you can make
now is to forgive, and in fact, if possible, come to thank those who helped
you in that experience. If you had not gone through those experiences, all of
them, you would not now be the person who you are.
Ultimately, we define ourselves as victims or not, and we define what
“abuse” is, or not… and we have a choice of what we now want to do with
those past experiences. We can choose to be fearful of repetition, or we can
choose that from now on we are only going to accept love into our reality.
It’s funny what we may or may not consider abuse and how those ideas
change over time as well. As children, we are accustomed to whatever
happens in our family. We consider that the “norm” and if we even think of
it, we think that everyone has lives just like us.
As we become aware that there are differences, we then begin to compare
how we live to our ideas of how others live. Through making comparisons
we are able to say what we like or think we would like better.
In my childhood my parents by today’s standards might have been
considered abusive. We were paddled with metal and wooden spoons, we
were grabbed by our ears and made to march quick to be punished. Of
course, by comparison with others who wind up almost dead in the hospital
this is not “abuse”.
Even worse than physical scars, are mental scars. The mother who tells her
daughter she is “stupid” is harming her far more than a physical blow ever
could. The feeling of insecurity created with physical abuse is far more
damaging than the bruise or broken bone. Of course, all these are invisible
scars, and since they aren’t seen they often aren’t healed.
Healing the mental scars of past trauma is not easy, but if not healed we will
tend to consistently recreate situations where we feel abused or victimized
in some way, whether that is objectively true or not. Again, forgiveness is
the path to healing, and assuming full responsibility is the key to taking
control of our future in all ways, so that we will create a different present
and future.
Our culture in the United States has become accustomed to the idea of
victim hood. Look at the woman who spilled coffee on herself, through her
own choice to carry the cup between her legs while driving, and then sued
the restaurant who sold it to her. That is one person blaming someone or
something else for her own irresponsibility. The alarming fact is that this
type of thinking has become the norm, so much so that the court actually
did pass a judgment against the restaurant!
We have all chosen our experiences and when we take full responsibility for
that, we are freeing ourselves and others from it, to begin to create more
consciously from now on.
There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it hardly behooves any of us
To talk about the rest of us.
- Edward Wallis Hoch
Does this mean we shouldn’t try to help others out of bad situations because
they have ‘chosen’ it? Not at all! I feel that part of what we are doing on
this plane of existence is to wake up to the fact that we can and do choose
our own reality, and with that knowledge we will begin making better and
more exciting choices than ever before!
We can only help others in the ways and to the degree that they are willing
to be helped, but when we change ourselves we radiate that new
consciousness out to every thing in the universe, and that does make a
difference. Share this knowledge, and together we can all create a different
experience!
~ Forget About ‘How’ ~
Aside from the idea of being a victim or the constraints of how and how
long, another inhibition is the limitations we frequently place on ourselves.
“Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually
right.”
- Henry Ford
“Ask a kindergarten class, “How many of you can draw, sing, dance,
act, play music, write poetry and all hands shoot up, the answer is
Yes! Over and over again, Yes! The children are confident in spirit,
infinite in resources, and eager to learn. Everything is still possible.
Try those same questions on a college audience. A small percentage
of the students will raise their hands when asked if they draw or
dance or sing or paint or act or play an instrument. Not infrequently,
those who do raise their hands will want to qualify their response
with their limitations: “I only play piano, I only draw horses, I only
dance to rock and roll, I only sing in the shower.”
When asked why the limitations, college students answer they do not
have talent, are not majoring in the subject, or have not done any of
these things since about third grade, or worse, that they are
embarrassed for others to see them sing or dance or act. You can
imagine the response to the same questions asked of an older
audience. The answer: No, none of the above.’
- Robert Fulghum “Yes, I Can!”
(first paragraph modified)
So what happened to us between kindergarten and college? Why do we
limit ourselves in so many ways? Over time we gradually absorb ideas. We
all differently learn ways that we are limited. Part of letting go of these false
limitations is to get back in touch with that childlike spirit of joy, of
adventure and experimentation.
Much of our reality is created by our subconscious programs. For example,
at some point when you were young, you learned how to walk. Now you
probably don’t remember ‘how’ you learned to walk, you just get up and
walk.
The act of walking is voluntary, but managed on a subconscious level. We
learn patterns that govern all of our behavior, from the relationships we
form, to our beliefs about what we are capable of. Sometimes we learn
these patterns in an instant! Then, we forget how we learned, and we just
act from that ‘knowing’.
Unfortunately, many times we are told by others (a parent, a teacher, a
friend) we are ‘no good’ at something, and so we just stop doing it. Take
back the power you gave that person to dictate what you should or
shouldn’t allow yourself to do! We are infinite creatures and we can do
anything we desire!
The result of letting go of any limitation is to change what you ‘know’.
How would you act if you ‘knew’ you could sing? Would you get up on
stage in front of millions and sing your heart out if you knew you could?
Here’s an example: When I was a teen-ager one of my friends criticized my
singing, saying I wasn’t ‘on key’. For years I didn’t sing! Then a good
friend of mine took me to karaoke.
For the last 3 years or more I have been singing on a fairly regular basis.
About a year ago, my karaoke host told me he had noticed how much my
voice had improved since I first started. What’s funny is that I had noticed
how much better he had gotten as well!
Another limitation we place on ourselves is how long it will take us to get
good at what we want to do. This little limitation has many guises, such as;
‘I’m a slow learner’, I’m bad at remembering people’s names’, or ‘I always
get lost, I have no sense of direction’.
Exercise: Take some time over the next few days and list in your
journal any limiting statements you habitually make about yourself.
Then, start making new statements that are the reverse of whatever it is.
This is part of making settings, which we’ll cover in depth in chapter 6.
No matter what limitations you have placed on yourself, or submitted to, in
the past, you can change and open yourself to the true infinite potential of
the universe, starting now!
Its funny, the limitations we place on ourselves! The more you do
something, no matter what it is, the better you will become.
~ Interlude: Personal Anecdotal Evidence ~
When our thoughts, feelings, words and actions are completely congruent,
magic and miracles can and do happen on a frequent and almost
instantaneous basis.
Science doesn’t currently have the tools to measure the results of how mind
affects matter. The only evidence is personal experience, which is
subjective.
I recommend you keep a journal of your own experiences using these
techniques as a method both of proof and reinforcement, as well as a record
of personal growth. Here are several examples from my own personal
experience.
Let me begin by telling you my glass dildo story…
~ The Glass Dildo Story ~
I like to start the story that way; it really gets people’s attention! As I stated
in the introduction and preface, I have been working on myself for many
years, and most intently during the past six years.
On September 11-13 2009 I went on a camping trip with some friends. That
Saturday evening, after every one had gone to sleep, I did some deep
meditation for about 20 minutes.
I was trying to discern the difference between the things that I had been
manifesting almost effortlessly, and the things I was still having trouble
with, in order that I might apply those changes and manifest the ‘difficult’
things just as easily.
During this meditation, I considered several things I had manifested over
the course of the summer. The first of these was a glass dildo.
I had wanted to get a glass dildo for years. Yet, on Tuesday June 9th, as I
was cleaning up my bedroom, I replaced my vibrator in the bedside table
drawer, and as I did so I had a fleeting thought, ‘I really need to get a glass
dildo soon’. That was all I thought.
Then, on Saturday June 13th, I went to a friend’s annual party. At the party
they were having a bikini contest, and one of the prizes was a glass dildo. I
entered the contest, knowing that the prize was going to be mine! I won it.
The second manifestation I considered during my meditation occurred a
month later, in early July.
At the time I was working as an exotic dancer (my stand-by income for 12
years), and I was in the dressing room curling my hair. I had a passing
thought ‘I really want to travel; I haven’t gone anywhere in so long’.
At the time these happened, my financial situation had gotten pretty bad,
two of my businesses were pretty much dying, and even the dancing gig
wasn’t making me much money. My car had been repossessed that January,
so for 7 months I hadn’t even had a vehicle, whereas before I had taken
regular mini-road trips and occasional long road trips.
So, I thought longingly but briefly about taking a trip, and then my thoughts
shifted to other ‘more practical’ matters.
Two hours later, I was walking around the club, and my attention was
snagged by a trio of gentlemen being seated by one of the waitresses. My
usual protocol when working at a club was to wait until the customers had
been seated and served and (usually) consumed their first drink, as my long
experience was that in general guys will wait at least until having a drink
before they will purchase a lap dance.
In this case, for some reason, I broke my protocol and approached them
immediately, joining them as they were still sitting down. I ended up having
a great conversation with ‘Jerry’. We talked about the meaning of life and
all the philosophical stuff I love to talk about.
0He never got a dance, but he tipped me a hundred as he was leaving, and
told me if I ever wanted to visit San Francisco, he’d fly me up there for a
weekend and show me around town. I took his number and took him up on
it, visiting during the last weekend of July, and had an awesome time!
The next manifestation I considered during my meditation began happening
around the end of August. I had a disconnect notice for my electricity, and
needed to come up with $400 to keep my power on. Again, I was at work,
and it was a very slow day.
A few of the girls were chatting, and one of them mentioned being lucky to
have a sugar-daddy. So we were all talking about that, and I decided that
since I was single, I might as well try to get a sugar-daddy for a while. It
really would be nice to be taken care of by someone for a little while, as
I’ve been an entrepreneur and single mother for 15 years!
One of the girls had mentioned some websites, so when I got home that day
I signed up and created profiles. I then looked through some sugar-daddy
profiles, and emailed five whom I found interesting.
Within 2 days one of the men I had emailed called me up, and took me out
to dinner that evening. My electricity was due to be disconnected the next
day. We really clicked and had a great time at dinner,. He gave me the
money I needed to keep my electricity on, plus an extra hundred just for
spending money.
He assured me that he would take care of my monthly expenses (around
$1200/month for rent, electricity, phone, internet, and groceries), and he
would also get me some form of transportation and give me money to
purchase inventory for my business (at the time I was also marketing
electronic cigarettes) so that I could go around town selling those and get
that business going.
To top it all off, this guy was a very handsome 35 year old Greek
gentleman! In other words, the situation was pretty perfect all around.
During our date, another instantaneous manifestation also took place. After
dinner, we went to Starbucks for coffee. I was so full from the fabulous
Italian meal we had just eaten, I only ordered a frappucino.
As I was waiting for it to be prepared, I idly gazed into the glass display
case, and my eye was caught by a ‘pumpkin muffin with cream cheese
filling’. “Mmm, that looks good,” I thought, “I wonder what that tastes
like”.
Now, I was completely full, not even room for dessert, didn’t even want to
order it, but that idle thought still manifested. Not even five seconds later,
after handing me my drink, the cashier reached into the display case,
brought out the plate of muffins, and said, “would you like a pumpkin
muffin with cream cheese filling?’
And she gave it to me! You know, they don’t just give away stuff at
Starbucks! That is an example of what my friend Joth calls ‘PFM’ (Pure
Fucking Magic).
On with the story... So far I’ve manifested positively; a glass dildo, an all-
expense-paid trip to San Francisco, a sexy sugar-daddy, money to pay my
electric bill, extra spending money, and a pumpkin muffin with cream
cheese filling.
You’d think that life would just be beautiful from then on, right? But sadly,
I fell through on the deal.
I paid the electric company – and at this time my rent was already overdue.
I don’t know why, but I hadn’t asked him for the rent money too. I think I
mentioned it, but he said he’d have to get it to me the next day because of
ATM withdrawal limits.
At the time, my rent had a five day grace period, and the electric shut-off
was for the fourth of the month (now we’re into September). So my date
was on the 2nd, I paid the bill on the 3rd, and there were still two days to go
before rent absolutely had to be paid to avoid late fees.
One of the programs I had been working on changing in my mind was my
money program. Because I grew up ‘poor’, there were several thoughts
about money that became part of my subconscious reality creation.
Thoughts like; ‘We don’t have enough for that’, and ‘You have to work hard
for money’, ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, and so on.
When I first started dancing, in 1997, I was making more money than I’d
ever imagined making, between $200-500 per night, and so I had actually
reprogrammed myself and was confident of making money.
Then I dated someone for seven years who actually started worrying about
my money for me, and unfortunately I reprogrammed myself with that kind
of thinking. Since 2008 I had been consciously working on changing my
program about money.
Now, after paying the electric bill, I still had $100 left, which I spent on
treating myself to dinner with a friend, and a new outfit. At that point I was
happy to spend this money which I had magically attracted into my life.
The next day, with rent ‘late’ two days away, I slipped back into the old
pattern of worry. I think I started thinking something like ‘this is too good
to be real’. And fear took over. I waited for him to call, fearing that he
wouldn’t.
When he didn’t call me by the next day, I text messaged him, and he said he
was sick. So I sent a get well soon message. Then he said I should just
contact him through the sugar-daddy site.
I emailed him through the website, and heard back once that he was still
sick, and then never had contact with him again. So my fears had put me
right back where I started… broke and no way to pay my immediate bills.
As all this was going on I was conscious of an upcoming camping trip that
had been planned for September 11-13. I wanted to be able to go on the trip
worry-free about my rent. Now I manifested that!
I had been renting there for two years, and been late on my rent at least six
times. On every occasion when I was late, on the sixth day of the month I
would get a notice saying that eviction proceedings would begin if rent plus
late fees was not paid by the thirteenth of the month.
This time, I got the letter, and it was changed! I had to pay rent by the
fifteenth! An extra two days, and I could go on my trip and not worry about
it!
So, I went camping. And I meditated. And I thought about all these
manifestations; the dildo, the San Francisco trip, the sugar-daddy and the
electric bill, the extra cash for a treat, the pumpkin muffin, the sugar-daddy
disappearing, the new due date… And I started putting together some
commonalities.
First, all the ‘good’ things I manifested were just casual thoughts, the only
actions I took were, entering the contest, making a phone call to accept the
trip, and making a profile and emailing a few people.
The thoughts themselves were all carefree, and spontaneous. When I
manifested getting the muffin, I wasn’t even hungry! I simply wondered
what it tasted like. I didn’t sit down and worry what would happen if I
didn’t get a glass dildo!
On the ‘negative manifestation’ of losing the sugar-daddy, that is exactly
what I did, I worried that it wouldn’t happen. I specifically thought ‘This is
too good to be real’.
The second thing all these manifestations had in common is that I didn’t
specify where or how I would get these things. Sure, I signed up on a
website dedicated to attracting one of them, but for all the rest I didn’t limit
how they could come into my life in any way. Even in the case of the sugar
daddy, I wasn’t limiting my options to getting one from that site.
When I wished for the glass dildo or the travel, I could have limited it as I
had done so many times in the past and instead of just thinking ‘I want
that’, I could have thought ‘I need to save up some money and buy a glass
dildo’ or ‘I need to save up some money so I can take a trip’. In the case of
the muffin, I might have thought ‘Mmm, that looks good, I’ll have to come
back and try that sometime’.
I realized that I had let go of any inhibitions I might have otherwise put into
the thought.
In the case of the sugar-daddy, I should clarify more of my thought
processes. Although I truly enjoy sex, and I enjoy making money, I have
never been a prostitute, and never felt comfortable with the idea of myself
exchanging sex for money, although as an exotic dancer you may be sure I
had more than ample opportunities to do so!
As a consequence, in my inner-most thoughts I was hoping to meet
someone to whom I would be very attracted, to the point where I would (if
that was the case) want to sleep with him anyway. And I did meet a quite
attractive sexy man.
Bringing in the factor of complete honesty, I must admit the possibility that
I was subconsciously disturbed, having an idea that I might on some level
be becoming a prostitute, and that caused those other thoughts, the fearful
conscious thoughts that actually dissipated the situation.
Being completely honest with myself, I have to give that possibility a
chance of about 50%. I want to clarify further and say that I believe
prostitution is an honorable path, and should be legalized; however, I
personally just want to have sex for the new-fashioned reasons of chemical,
physical, and mental and emotional attraction only.
If there is any form of exchange I would rather it be spiritual in nature. But,
again, that is my personal hang-up, and who says money isn’t a spiritual
form of exchange? In a way it has become so abstract it almost is!
The third thing I realized during this meditation is that I remembered what I
asked for, I was aware of my wish, and recognized my creation it when it
came my way. This is so important!
The ONLY reason I took ‘Jerry’ up on that San Francisco trip is because,
when he offered it to me, I remembered that just a couple hours ago I had
said ‘I want to travel’ to myself. If I had not remembered that, then, as nice
as he was, because of where I met him and the circumstances (being an
exotic dancer asked to travel by a customer I just met) I probably would not
have gone.
I would have been suspicious and worried. But, since I did remember, I
recognized his offer as a gift from the universe, bringing me exactly what I
had just been wishing for, and so I accepted the gift, went on the trip and
had a great time with a perfect gentleman.
To recap the realizations from the meditation: I had already had the process
of being completely honest with myself and with others (chapter 1), taking
full responsibility for every aspect of my life (chapter 2), and being aware
of and shifting my perceptions (chapter 3).
This meditation now brought me to a higher awareness of how to let go of
any inhibitions (I thought I was pretty uninhibited but this took it to a whole
new level!)
Specifically it taught me the rule: Forget about How, and made me realize
that another important key is to be constant and aware of what your wishes
actually are. In chapter 4 we discussed letting go of inhibitions, and in
chapters 7 and 9 we’ll talk about being aware of what we wish for and
recognizing our creations. Just as a quick reminder, here is the complete list
again:
10 Ways to Expose Your Unlimited Creation Abilities
I will confess, even at the time of this writing I have still been working on
changing my money paradigm. I’m getting better and better, and we’ll
discuss this more in chapter 6 when we talk about settings. For now, let me
say that I still tend to go back and forth between the new setting and my old
worries, but I’m getting better at instantly releasing the worries and
replanting the new setting.
Part of the reason it is hard for me to change this setting may be my
perception that it is hard. Part is simply the number of years those old
neural pathways and programs grew strong.
Another part of the issue is that, at the same time I’m trying to attract
money into my life (at least for survival), I am also working on creating a
new society that completely eliminates money from the paradigm – see
Appendix B: Satoria Nation. So I am not completely congruent in my
thoughts about money.
I’m still working out how to create a setting that is completely congruent
both with the now and the future I’m striving for.
However, in the last year I have become increasingly better at consistently
changing my setting. In July 2010 I had accepted two homeless people into
my life, and then a lot of drama ensued. I again was on the verge of
eviction. There were many other factors involved in this thought, but I
caught myself thinking, ‘I’d almost rather be homeless than deal with this
situation any longer’.
Sure enough, because of this limiting thought, I was unable to raise the
funds necessary to keep my home, and I got evicted and repossessed (I was
purchasing a mobile home, so both the loan got foreclosed and I got evicted
from the park where I rented the space).
As soon as that happened I switched thought patterns immediately. I started
saying internally, “something will happen, I will have a place to live and my
bills will be taken care of.” Sure enough, within 2 days of the court hearing,
I got a sugar-daddy who helped me get a new place to live and took care of
my bills for seven months.
Then my thoughts shifted again. While my bills were being taken care of, I
realized that I really didn’t enjoy having to ask anybody else for money
whenever I needed to purchase something.
Changing desires are part of the process, part of the learning of
manifestation. It is also one of the reasons for the saying ‘beware of what
you wish’. As each wish is fulfilled, we learn more fully what we do truly
want.
Sometimes these shifts happen over time, sometimes they happen
instantaneously. Part of the process is being aware of and using this shift to
our advantage, rather than thinking that ‘things just happen’.
I was aware of the gradual shift. Then, as I was writing the glass dildo story
here, I said to myself, “Oh yeah! (smacks forehead) I have to just focus on
the end result. Ok, universe. I would like to have enough money to pay my
bills for a year, get a car again, and get my Happiness Jewelry line started.”
Throughout my career as an entrepreneur, there have always been two
warring factors; on the one hand, I have these grand sweeping ambitions of
what I would like to accomplish, on the other hand is what I have to do
now, today, to make sure the bills get paid and I have survival.
There never seemed to be enough money or time (which money would buy)
to do both. Now I recognize this pattern in myself.
The underlying desire in this wish is the desire to have time and freedom
from worrying about how the bills are going to get paid so I can just be
productive, finish my book and start the jewelry line.
Also present in my thinking is the idea that the universe will come up with
far better ways to deliver this to me than I can think of on my own. So I
made that desire known to myself and let it go out as an order being placed
for fulfillment.
Since time doesn’t exist except as a function of perception, I had actually
gotten an email a day or two before I made this wish. Someone had emailed
me on Facebook, saying she was interested in having me on her TV show.
Her profile said who she worked for, but when I looked up her employer it
was actually a network and on their profile it said all the channels they own,
but nothing about any specific shows.
I had emailed her back saying I was interested in finding out what the show
was about, and giving her my contact information. She had called and left
me a message, and I had called her back and left a message.
The day after making this wish known, we finally connected. Now let me
give you a little background to show just how much the universe works in
our favor when we let it. Even though I am a Naked Life Coach, and love
nudity, I also absolutely love clothing and dressing up to go out is one of
my favorite things to do.
Even though I’ve been an entertainer, I rarely wear makeup, and don’t
really like wearing makeup, but I would still like to learn how to use it
better when I do choose to wear it.
I had also been thinking of getting a new hair style for some time. It had
been approximately two years since I went to hairstylist, due to lack of
funds.
It turns out the show is called ‘How Do I Look?’ and it is a fashion show.
Not only will I learn the knowledge I would like in that area, I will get paid
more than the amount I need for bills for a year. Plus I’ll get a whole new
wardrobe from top designers!
Wow, this is sounding better and better. Thank you Universe! The money I
requested, plus a bunch of other things that I like! Not to mention the
opportunity to go on national television and promote myself and my book!
I’m telling you, the universe can deliver bigger and better and more
efficiently than we can think of doing for ourselves. If I had to come up
with a way to satisfy all those desires I certainly would have split them up
into different parts which I had to do separately, if at all.
The story gets better. We set up an online audition using Skype. The
internet is such an amazing resource! In the past I might have had to travel
to Los Angeles to do this. Now keep in mind, the universe is completely
responsive to our thoughts. So I started thinking, “Well, I really want to be
done with my book before I go on that show.”
On the day of the audition, there was failure! I had not tested my equipment
prior to the audition time, and yes I will admit I was having some doubts
about it. So, naturally, my webcam wasn’t installed correctly, and I had to
reschedule the audition.
I could have started saying to myself ‘Oh, damn! I blew it!’ But instead I
chose to think, ‘Ok, everything that happens has a purpose and that purpose
serves me, so this must have happened for a good reason.’
Sure enough, when I called her to reschedule, after setting up the new date
and time we were chatting a bit. She was saying how much she wanted me
on the show and I was saying how I was looking forward to it. I confessed
my manifestation to her, that I had wanted enough money to; pay my bills
for a year, get a car, and get my happiness jewelry line started.
She said that the show’s producers had been looking for someone who
wanted to start their own jewelry line! Now that was the reason for the
delay (the good reason I created to surprise myself with)!
The day of the audition came. I confidently signed on, and went through the
process. After it was over, the person who auditioned me said I did
everything ‘perfectly’.
She then went on to say that they were busy filming another 24 episode
segment and she wasn’t sure when they would be done with it, perhaps in
June or July (the audition was in February). So, yet another wish granted,
time to finish my book before going on the show.
Next I have to come up with money to cover my bills in the meantime. I
decided to get a job. So, I went on Craigslist and applied for several
positions, and got hired the next day at a telemarketing job.
I started on Thursday. The first day on the telemarketing job, I found out
what the commission structure was and wasn’t satisfied with it. That night
on the bus home I met a man who worked at another telemarketing job, and
told me the commission structure there was much better.
So the next day I went and applied there and got hired, to start on Tuesday.
So I worked out my three days at the first company, then quit and went to
work at the second company. The first three days there were short. So at the
beginning of the third day I asked what time I would be getting off work for
the fourth day.
The manager replied. ‘Here’s how it works. When you come in we clock
you in, and then if you haven’t sold anything after two hours we clock you
out. Then you can stay and keep selling and as long as you sell 3 units you
get clocked in and earn minimum wage’.
His reply sent me into a bit of a tizzy! I thought ‘well this job isn’t even
worth it to come all the way down here to make a guaranteed $15!’ (during
the 2 days of training so far I hadn’t even come close to selling 3 units per
hour).
Then I made myself relax. I said, once again to myself, “I don’t have to
control where money comes from, it can come from anywhere.” Sure
enough, within a half-hour, I got a phone call, this time from an ad I’d
placed over 3 years ago for a service business.
I didn’t have the website and wasn’t promoting that business anymore, but I
still had one ad out on a conglomerate site, and that is what this person had
seen. So I got a gig and a gig for two of my friends, making $300 each for 3
hours hanging out at a pool party!
Needless to say, I quit the job and refocused myself on manifesting.
Using the techniques outlined in this book, I manifested having the money
to pay my bills up through July of this year (which manifestation included
getting evicted (again!), getting about $600 extra on my tax refund (with the
help of a genius friend), and finding a cheaper and better place to live.
I used that additional tax return money to pay a couple months rent in
advance, and negotiated to get the third month free), which give me the
freedom I wanted to finish my book while not worrying about bills.
Next step, travel the world giving Naked Life Coaching seminars, getting
whole stadiums of people naked, and asking people to co-create Satoria
Nation! (Appendix B)
~ Permanent Paradigm Shift ~
Often times, we’re not fully honest, either with ourselves or with others,
about what it is we truly want. The reason we have so much trouble being
honest about it is fear. This fear may be based on many self-limiting ideas
and programs running in our subconscious minds. Our fears may be so
engrained they can actually make us ill.
Let’s take a look at our current society. In our society, we have made it
almost unacceptable to say no to what we don’t want to do. This is
reinforced in our family commitments, in our jobs, and in groups. Illness
has become the only acceptable reason to not do something.
Think about it. Nobody expects you to be at your peak performance, to
show up for your job, or church, or the family reunion, if you’re ill. Think
about it: how often you have felt like staying home from work and
convinced yourself into an actual illness? Illness has in a sense become a
‘safety valve’ for society.
What are the fears that would lead us to do actual harm to our bodies in
order to not do something we don’t want to do?
Some reasons may be; fear of losing a job, fear of being condemned by
others, fear of being seen as ‘selfish’, and even fear of appearing foolish.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but you can see how fear can keep
you from being honest with yourself and others and actually block you from
creating the reality you desire.
It’s time now to discard those fears. Realize that many of us spend the
majority of our time thinking about what we don’t want. Start paying
attention to the words you use.
We say things to or about ourselves, statements like; ‘I don’t want to be
late, I don’t want to be overweight, I don’t want to get sick, I don’t want…”
Now, if I may quote Neale Donald Walsh again, “The only answer the
universe has is ‘Yes’. So no matter what it is we are focused on, no matter
the intent of our focus, we will attract and create that in our life.
Start focusing only on what you DO want.
Often, we don’t think about what we really want because of our fears, and
those fears all say one thing ‘You can’t have what you want’, in various
ways.
Exercise: A simple trick to quickly discard fears and figure out what we
really want is this:
Whenever you’re feeling less than fantastic, stop yourself, and say to
yourself, “I must be feeling this way because I’m thinking about what I
don’t want again. So, what is that I DO want?”
This works instantaneously and both shifts your mood and helps you figure
out what it is that you want. The reason it works so well is because our
mind is our servant.
Often when we’re feeling down we start asking ourselves why we’re feeling
so crappy. The brain, like the good servant that it is, starts delivering all the
answers it can as to why we feel bad. The answers to that question will just
intensify the bad mood.
When we ask the mind a new question, such as “what do I really want?” it
goes busily to work with just as much vigor to answer that question. The
answers in this case will actually be constructive and make you feel good.
We want to discover what our true desires are. These are what our
individual soul longs for. Not what we’re told we should want by our
parents, our peers, or society at large. Not what we’ve focused on because
we think that’s what we have to DO… What’s on your “If I were not afraid,
I would _______” list? What do you daydream about?
~ Building Your Creation ~
Once you have gotten some answers to the question “What do I really
want?” it’s time to start building that reality. Visualization and Imagination
are the keys successful creation. But perhaps those words don’t resonate
with you… I know that I thought for a long time that I didn’t have the
ability to visualize something. But actually, we all have these abilities; in
fact they are most commonly called something else. Daydreams.
The way we build our next creation is through what are often called
daydreams. I think of this process as ‘remembering my current future’.
Keep in mind that reality is eminently malleable and mutable, so make sure
your daydreams are always and only about what you really want. If it is not,
stop the daydream immediately and replace it with something you want.
To give you an example, when I drive I sometimes daydream about being
pulled over. The daydream usually involves talking myself out of a ticket or
convincing the officer to let me go with a warning, sometimes it involves
telling someone else of successfully completing those actions.
When I have this type of daydream I stop and switch it immediately to
arriving quickly and safely, getting straight to my destination. I don’t
actually want to get pulled over even if I don’t get in trouble, do I? So I
switch to what it is that I do want – one quick uninterrupted trip to wherever
I’m going.
It is very important to focus only on the end result, remembering to let go of
limitations of how and how long, and think only of the what. For example, I
may want to work really hard so I can take a month long vacation in Italy,
so that I can have complete peace and quiet to finish writing my book.
Well, what’s the end result of the above desire? The hard work? The month
in Italy? The peace & quiet? No, the end result is getting the book finished.
So, that’s what I want to focus on, the end result of finishing the book.
All the other parts of that desire are unnecessary fluff, and may even
represent an obstacle I create for myself, if I’m telling myself that without
those things I can’t finish the book. Does that make sense?
So, to create the end result, I start daydreaming about the book being
finished and what will happen after that. I picture it being successfully
published, and then hooking up with a PR firm to plan my year-long trip
around the world, spending a month in each of twelve countries, and doing
one or two speaking engagements in each country.
I imagine getting whole stadiums of people naked, and learning the
language of each country while I am there. Each time I daydream the idea
grows bigger and brighter in my mind. In fact, to increase the effectiveness
using NLP techniques, I want to make it bigger, brighter, louder, and more
vivid in every way.
Notice here I am not daydreaming even about the work of finishing the
book (doing the actual writing) but about what that writing will lead to.
Ultimately my goal is to recruit enough people to put Satoria Nation into
practice (see Appendix B).
I have trouble visualizing living in Satoria Nation itself at this time, so I
visualize one of the ‘how’s’ of its creation. This is something I am working
on changing for myself. Of course I will have to change it by the time I
write Appendix B!
In grade school we learned that daydreaming was bad, because it took our
attention away from what others wanted us to focus on. It’s time to add
daydreaming back into your life as one of the most helpful tools available to
aid you in creating the reality you truly desire.
Sometimes it’s not always easy to figure out what the end result is. When
we’re completely honest with ourselves, we often find that what we really
want is an abstract, what we’re after is a state of being rather than actual
material possessions.
For example, we may say we want a house, but ultimately, we want to
provide a home for ourselves, and the reason we want a home for ourselves
is to feel secure. This is somewhat of an oversimplification, but part of
getting clear about what we really do want is to chase down all the surface
desires and figure out what we want to BE.
~ BE-ing First ~
Think through the elements of your life. Here are some helpful ways to start
to recognize your individual patterns.
Exercise: Get out your journal or some pieces of paper and start making a
list of your current patterns.
1. What do you say always about? For example:
a. I always…
b. They always…
c. This always…
2. What do you say never about? For example:
a. I never…
b. They never…
c. It never…
3. What do you make defining statements about? These are statements
such as:
a. I like…
b. I hate…
c. I am…
d. I can…
e. I can’t…
f. He/she/they are…
During the next week, keep this list handy so that you can add to it. Start
paying attention to what you say to others and yourself in your daily
interactions with the world.
Start paying attention to what your patterns are in all areas. Become curious
about yourself! If you are comfortable, ask a person you know well to help
you make this list. It can be really eye-opening, when you’re ready to see it.
Sometimes when we’re inside our filters of perception, it can be difficult to
recognize our own patterns.
Here are some more examples of patterns:
In my own life, I had a relationship with a man I truly loved deeply.
Whenever we had a fight, he was really great about trying to end it. He
would pick me up, and cuddle me, and tell me he loved me and point out all
the things he was doing to show he cared.
In return, I would react defensively and fight him on those things! He asked
me over and over why I reacted that way, but since I was inside the pattern;
I really honestly didn’t even know what he meant. I was blind to what my
reaction was and what it was based on because it was the only pattern I
knew.
After out last big bad fight I finally recognized my own pattern. This
pattern developed because of how my parents fought. Growing up I think I
saw my parents actually fight just once. However, they separated when I
was nine years old, and from that point on they fought through us kids.
Their fights were always over whom the better parent was and who was the
‘bad’ parent. So, when my love would point out all the good things he was
doing, I was reacting as if he was saying he was the better partner and so
unconsciously I reacted defensively and tried to show how I was the better
partner.
Once I recognized that pattern I could look back and laugh at how silly it
was! And of course, I told him about it as well and he could understand
why I was reacting so weirdly.
He in turn had a pattern of avoiding punishment, and trying really hard to
be ultimately pleasing because of that. So any perceived criticism of him
was taken as a sign of failure, possibly leading to punishment. Now, since
he is aware of that pattern, he can successfully change it and eliminate that
fear from his life.
Another way to understand what patterns are is to realize that in order to
experience anything we first must learn a pattern in order to experience it.
Take vision for example: in order to experience seeing a tree, we first learn
that a tree is what we are seeing.
With hearing, we learn patterns of what we are hearing. Ever listen to a
song of a type of music you don’t normally listen to for the first time? Say
all your life you’ve listened to classical music and then someone takes you
to a heavy metal show. Your first experience of heavy metal music would
probably just seem like really loud noise! Until you learn the new pattern
you really cannot appreciate the experience of heavy metal.
We all have patterns of expectations that shape our behavior, and the way to
change our patterns is to first recognize what they are.
It is helpful if we can understand where our patterns come from, but it is not
necessary to know that information as long as we can recognize what our
current patterns are, and have a desire to create a new pattern for a new
experience.
~ New Settings ~
Here’s the fun part! Now that you know what some of your patterns are,
choose one or two you’d like to change starting now. What we’re going to
do is create a new setting.
I call these ‘settings’ because, rather than an affirmation, which is ‘just
words’ or more of ‘that positive thinking stuff’, making a new setting is like
changing the channel on my reality. It is immediate, and powerful!
Settings are a way to manipulate your reality, and you can use them for
anything you can imagine, large or small. Here are some of my personal
settings:
Bugs leave me alone
This setting is so powerful that when I went camping with three friends last
summer, they were bitten all over their bodies by some kind of small bug,
yet I was completely unscathed!
My cars always run great
As I mentioned in chapter 4, over the past seventeen-plus years and
numerous vehicles, the setting that my cars always run great has actually
caused my car to fix problems that it may have had when I purchased it.
My friend David likes to tell the story of how, when I had a friend work on
my alignment, it still wasn’t quite right, and then I ‘accidentally’ ran into a
curb and that fixed the alignment. As my friend Joth likes to point out, it is
a fallacy to expect ‘accidents’ to only be bad. I choose to always have
fortuitous accidents!
I am always safe
From the time I was an infant my mother worried about me getting
molested or raped. So, in rebellion to her fears, I developed the setting that I
am always safe.
I was recently explaining this to a friend and he kept asking me ‘Well, but
what happens when you’re not safe?’ All I could say was, ‘Well, the fact is,
I am always safe. No matter what, I am always safe.’
I am comfortable in any neighborhood, in any situation, because I am
always safe. If two people were pointing guns at each other I would be
willing to step in between them and say ‘Put those down’ because I am
always safe.
Traffic flows smoothly and quickly and vehicles move out of my way.
I developed this setting after watching ‘The Secret’. On the movie, there is
a British guy who says ‘I use it to line up good car parks all the time’.
For years I had said ‘I have good parking luck, I always get a good parking
spot.’ When I saw somebody else doing that, it suddenly struck me that I
could use it for other things, and one thing that bothered me was driving in
‘rush hour’ traffic. So I quickly made up this setting.
Within a month of creating the setting, I was out driving one morning, and
the traffic was very light. In fact, I was the only vehicle within a quarter
mile each way. Suddenly, I saw a bunch of cars in my rearview mirror.
There were maybe 16-20 vehicles, across all four lanes of the freeway, and
they were all doing that little nudge-nudge thing but none of them could get
ahead of the others.
I saw this and the thought struck ‘Why, there are all the people who came
out at this time expecting rush hour traffic. There they are back there,
creating it! And the ones in the front are probably the people who hate it
when other people ‘tailgate’ them!’
I always choose a positive outcome.
Things happen for a reason and a purpose
and that purpose serves me.
This setting has served for a great reminder whenever I start to get anxious
about anything. If my plans just don’t seem to be going the way I thought
they should, and I remind myself of this, rather than getting upset or
frustrated or thinking I’m messing up or missing out, I wait expectantly to
see what good will come of the unexpected shift.
When I got evicted this served me well. I ended up finding a place that was
a lot nicer and a lot more affordable, so really this is just a fact in my
reality.
I accept people for who they are
and who they want to be,
and I am accepted for who I am
and who I want to be.
I love everybody and everybody loves me.
We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are, and we all want
people to also see our true potential, and support us in what we want for
ourselves. With this setting, I both give and attract that in my life.
I always get prompt, pleasant and efficient service.
I’ve amazed my friends by going into the bank and instantly being served,
and always having a clear line at the check out. I always get the best waiters
in restaurants, etc. It works!
* * * * *
These are just a few examples of settings I have created in my life. This is
the reality I live constantly. I’ve included a more complete list of the
settings I use in Appendix A.
Let’s examine how to create such settings for your own life.
1. The number one rule of creating an effective setting is to make it a
DO statement. See, most of us are constantly saying the things we
don’t want; ‘I don’t want to be late, I don’t want to get sick,’ etc.
2. Another element to include is the timely factor. For most settings
you will want to include a factor of ‘always’ because you want this
new reality to be the case constantly. Including an element such as
‘always’, or ‘am’ turns the setting into a now and constant reality.
3. And the main element is to only include the concept of what you
want. For example, many people say ‘I want to lose weight’ but that
is an ineffective setting because it includes the element which they are
trying to get rid of, i.e. ‘weight’.
4. The most powerful statement in the universe is any statement
beginning with ‘I am’.
Some effective settings using the two DO examples would be:
I am always on time.
I am always healthy.
An effective setting for the weight loss example would be:
“I am getting slimmer,” or “I am slimmer today than I was yesterday” and
to keep repeating that every day until the desired goal is achieved. This is
an action setting.
Exercise: Review the list of statements you made earlier, and using
these guidelines, make some new settings for your reality.
In Appendix A I have examples of the settings I use, versus some common
ideas of reality that these can be used to change. In addition, you can see
more of mine as well as other’s settings and post your own old and new
settings on:
www.LivingTheNakedLife.com/inside/settings-appendix-a
Have fun crafting your new reality! Whenever you catch yourself
experiencing something that you are not enjoying, use that as an
opportunity to make a new setting and watch your world change, instantly!
~ Choice Points & Reminders ~
After you’ve made a new setting you will start to see, hear, and feel its
effects. It is important to note each effect; this helps establish the new
mental pattern of recognition, and cements it into constant operation.
Eventually the new pattern will become subconscious and automatic.
During the process of reshaping our reality we are presented with what I
call choice points and reminders.
For example, one of my settings is that I always get green lights. However,
sometimes when I am driving I put myself on automatic, and the new
setting that I always get green lights is not yet programmed firmly in my
subconscious, so my auto-pilot driving program sees a red light and
automatically starts slowing down and getting ready to stop. This is a good
reminder that I need to reaffirm the green lights setting until it has become
part of my subconscious. I also pay attention to each green light that I get
and give my subconscious a mental thumbs up.
Also, occasionally when I’ve been driving I’ve seen the lanes full of cars in
front of me suddenly all start to put on their brakes. This is the time to
remind myself that ‘traffic flows smoothly and quickly and vehicles just
move out of my way’. Within seconds of reminding myself of the new
reality, traffic speeds up and flows quickly again. I’ve done this several
times including in front of witnesses.
When I was auditioning for a TV show and my equipment failed was a
good reminder that ‘everything happens for a purpose, and that purpose
serves me’, and sure enough, it did! This leads us into the finalizing stage of
the creative process.
As I mentioned previously, all these ways flow and meld together in the
creative process. Being honest with yourself and others is a keystone,
assuming full responsibility for your reality is a necessity to purposeful
creation, changing your perceptions and letting go of inhibitions are
intertwined, and deciding what you want and changing your patterns are all
part of the flow.
This is especially true of the next three chapters. Being aware of what you
wish for, being thankful in advance and recognizing your creation as it
shows up are all linked together elements of the creative process.
7: Be Constant & Aware of What Your Wishes
Are
Being aware of what you wish for definitely means using complete honesty
within, knowing what filters of perception you are using, and knowing what
it is you want. Once you have that knowledge, it’s time to start being totally
aware of what you are creating.
Remember your tools for having complete honesty, recognizing that what
you base your choices on is made up of a conglomerate of factors, some
conscious and some unconscious.
Many times we create reality on a subconscious and haphazard basis,
meaning we get mixed results. It’s time to find congruency within to
effectively create, and only create, the reality we truly desire.
In our society, we don't pay as much attention to language as we should. In
math, expressions are precise. Language shapes our thoughts, so if we use it
imprecisely it has the same effect on our thoughts as an imprecise statement
would have in mathematics: i.e. Garbage In = Garbage Out.
English is one of the most powerful languages, because we have one of the
largest selections of words, which allows for the greatest precision possible.
However, it is an imperfect language because it still allows for the creation
of untrue statements and illogical thinking.
I like Robert Heinlein's conception of a language he named "Speedtalk" in
the short story "Gulf". He defines a new, completely consciously created
“artificial” language that is structured in such a way that it can only include
statements which are congruent and rational.
~ Increase Self-Awareness ~
Accept your reality creation with love. Recognize that the universe was
designed to be like Play-Doh™! We are here to have an experience. Good,
or bad, we made all the choices that led to our current experience.
Whatever you decide to create, accept the love and abundance in the
universe as tools to aid you in having whatever you desire.
Give yourself a hug from the universe! In fact, give yourself whatever
you’d like from the universe. It’s all you, after all. You are the screenwriter,
the set designer, the director, the choreographer, and of course, the leading
role in your reality. Thank yourself!
Are there others? Yes, we’re all here, and we’re all co-creating, and yet
intrinsically we’re all one, and that one thing is love.
I’m writing this book with love, and you brought these words into your life
with love, and now you are crafting a new reality, all powered with the
universal love. In fact, whether you accept or not, love is the one element
that completely permeates the universe.
8: Have an “Attitude of Gratitude”
Isn’t it funny that attitude and gratitude are almost the same word?
Being thankful is an integral part of the creation process. Even people who
are creating a reality that most of us wouldn’t want to experience have the
thankfulness element in their reception of it.
The expression ‘misery loves company’ is a good indicator of this.
Someone who has a completely negative perception of reality is thankful
every time his or her perception is confirmed.
Be thankful in advance that you are the creator of your life, and that you are
free to create anything and any experience you desire.
~ What is Prayer? ~
Our every thought and utterance is a prayer. Remember, we are all one, and
the basis underlying every material object is pure energy. The lower the
vibration of this energy, the more dense the material is.
Our thoughts are electrical impulses, vibrating at a very high level. The next
level is our spoken words, which change the vibration and brings it closer to
material form. When we write our thoughts and/or words down, we are
bringing them into actual material form. All of these vibrations are the basis
of our prayer.
So, when we ‘pray’, pray with the knowledge that what we desire is already
ours. We already have it. Jesus said ‘Ask, believing you have already
received’.
For example if you are praying for healing, your prayer would be well-
structured if you prayed ‘Thank you for my healing’ rather than ‘oh, please
heal me’. Think, say and act as if what you desire already exists in your
reality.
~ Remember Your Future ~
Day dreaming is the most useful tool we have. When we are daydreaming
what we are actually doing is “remembering” our future. So start using your
daydreams to consciously create what you desire to be, do and have.
We are often told to visualize the results we want, however, for the most
powerful creative force, use all five senses in your creation.
Now, make the day dream more vivid, brighter, more intense, as well as
clearer, louder and more concise. Include what it smells and tastes like.
Keep running the same daydream, and add more details to it, make it realer
each time.
Pay attention to what thoughts creep into your daydreams. These can be
inspiration from the universe that will help you decide the thoughts, words,
and actions that will make your dreams come true. They could also be your
fears making themselves known.
I want to talk a little bit about fear here. We all have some fears. And those
fears often inhibit us from moving forward in our life. Getting completely
honest with yourself about your fears is the first step to getting over those
fears. So, don’t be afraid to recognize your fear, be thankful that now that
you know what you’re afraid of, you can let that fear go and move forward!
Some people also have dark premonitions of the future. No matter what we
“foresee”, reality is infinitely mutable. If you choose to keep bringing up
the same images of the future you will certainly move into that reality
creation at some point. You also have the option of replacing that vision
with something else, some outcome that you would like to move toward
instead. We always have free will, so ultimately all is created as “self-
fulfilling prophecies”.
~ BE, DO, HAVE it ALL NOW ~
One of my favorite quotes from the movie The Secret is John Assaraf
saying “When would NOW be a good time to…?”
The thing is, when we realize that everything is one, and that time is an
illusion, we then know that we already have everything, the only thing we
need to do to change our current experience is to change our perception that
we have or lack anything.
Know NOW that you already have everything, and you’re simply holding
those elements out in the universe until you’re ready to experience them.
~ Take Possession ~
When you create a new setting, it is like taking possession of an object you
just bought. You don’t purchase something and then leave it at the store, or
ask if you can take it home, you simply take it. Whenever you are creating a
new setting, you are taking possession of your new reality.
In effect, you know that you have it. There is no more seeking. There is no
“Plan B” or any type of contingency plans.
You own every facet of your experience. When you know that, it becomes
much easier to perceive and receive every good thing into your life. In order
to recognize your creation it is helpful to be aware of what you’re wishing
for.
For example: I recently have been thinking about creating a documentary to
illustrate the concepts of this book. Then a producer contacted me and
offered to produce some film for my naked life coaching business.
We met and talked about it, and decided to start filming in a few days. I
then started having additional considerations which I wanted to cover
before we started filming. On the day that we were supposed to start, he
called and said he wasn’t feeling well and asked to reschedule.
I could have gotten upset and decided that he was irresponsible, but, since I
practice reality creation on a conscious basis, I had to admit that the delay
was what I wanted to happen, so this actually worked out perfectly for me!
We are all co-creators of each other’s experience. When we recognize that,
then there is no need to judge others or ourselves.
~ Claim Your Desires ~
This goes along with assuming full responsibility and deciding what you
truly want. Every part of your past, current and future reality already belong
completely to you. Claim it and keep it forever.
Of course, without full honesty and being aware of what we are wishing for,
it may be hard to recognize our creation and take possession of it or claim it
for our own.
Usually when we are incongruent, our desires and our fears will manifest
together. In my experience so far, it seems that most of the time when I have
several desires they tend to manifest all together in one tidy package from
the universe. The same can happen with our desires and fears coming in one
installment.
For example, I know someone who both desired to be famous for what she
did, and at the same time feared being misperceived for what she did. From
this incongruence, she manifested getting arrested and becoming infamous,
being smeared in the press because of her occupation. As I write this the
story is still playing out. I believe that eventually she will have the triumph
of overcoming the infamy and truly spreading her unique message to the
world.
Everything ultimately works out for the best, but sometimes, if we’re not
honest about what our fears are, and if we do not discard them as the
inhibitions they are, we drag ourselves through horrible circumstances to
reach our goals.
I urge you to re-examine any aspect of your reality, whether it is beliefs you
hold about others, about illness, about your abilities, about what is possible.
Get completely honest about what and why you think those things, and
discard the ideas that do not serve you, no matter how “factual” you believe
something to be. Mind truly does have the power to completely triumph
over matter, if we let it!
As you move forward in this practice, start changing your patterns of
reaction to circumstances. When you have truly acknowledged what your
expectations, thoughts, feelings, fears, and actions are and have been, you
can begin to truly recognize, accept and claim your creations.
10: Expand Your Power (Unlimited)
"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely
energy condensed to a slow vibration – that we are all one
consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing
as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves.
Here's Tom with the weather."
- Bill Hicks “Positive Drug Story”
During the writing of this book I attended a workshop with Panache Desai.
One of the many things he said that I loved was “This Universe is the Las
Vegas of Universes. We come here to play. It is the only place where the
illusion of separation exists so that we can look deep into each other’s eyes
and tell ourselves ‘I love you.’ It is the only place where sex exists, and it is
the only place where chocolate exists.” Internally I was cheering wildly,
“Yes! I KNEW sex and chocolate are the meaning of life!”
So we’re all one here… That means that we, and by we I mean I, are always
co-creating, there is no separation between us. We/I have an infinite grasp
on reality for whatever we/I agree to. That’s what is meant by “Verily I say
unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and
whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”. (Mathew
18:18 KJV Bible)
I like to use the example of a hand to illustrate how co-creation works. I can
use my hand to tickle myself, or caress myself, massage myself, or slap
myself in the face! In the same way, we use the illusion of “others” to give
us pleasurable or miserable experiences. When that experience is
happening, it would be silly if I got mad at my hand for the time it slapped
me in the face, or if I fell in love with my hand for it caressing me.
The truth is, we are all connected. The connection is not as obvious as the
way we are connected to our own hands, but it is there nonetheless. As we
raise our consciousness to this new awareness we begin to see how each of
us is co-creating to manifest whatever experience is thought of next. The
key then is to begin to only think of those experiences we desire to have,
and to think of bigger and better experiences than we’ve ever thought of
before!
Remember, we do not know what others patterns are so we cannot look at
others experiences as a meter for reality. I want to remind you that only you
can judge accurately your own reality creation, and not others’ experiences.
Just as an infant grows its muscles through using them and develops its
mental patterns through learning new information, we too grow our power
of consciously manifesting reality through exercising our creative abilities.
The more we experience, the more we can experience. The only limit is
what our imagination can conceive of. As we already discussed, our
perception of what’s possible is simply that, a perception.
There really are unlimited possibilities. Before the four-minute mile was
run, it was believed to be impossible. After it was proven possible many
people were suddenly able to do it. In fact, most of what we take for granted
in our daily lives would have been thought impossible or incredible even 50
years ago. I challenge you to expand your ideas of what is possible and start
working on creating some “impossible” dreams!
Our only limit is our imagination. A great tool for expanding your
imagination is science fiction. Out of all the fields of literature, science
fiction alone deals exclusively with the future and what might be. I
encourage you to use this and any other tools available to help you grow
your imaginative faculties. Keep consciously exercising your creation
abilities!
~ What Else? ~
Throughout history our great poets and leaders have envisioned such a
society. Jesus, Buddha, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, Martin Luther King,
Ghandi, Nikola Tesla, Buckminster Fuller, and many more…
Now, as never before in history, it is possible to create it!
The tools to create such a society already exist.
The resources to create such a society are already in hand.
The knowledge necessary to create such a society has already been
learned.
All that is needed is a shift in perspective, and a willingness to participate in
effecting the change.
Many have dreamed of creating such a society, so why hasn’t it happened
yet? Well, for one the concepts were either not understood, or not
communicated to enough people. But mostly we haven’t yet created this
utopia for ourselves because we don’t have the belief that we can! In the
rest of this appendix I’ll share my thoughts on what we can do to create a
functional utopia.
~ The Satoria Nation Project ~
Growth Education
Systems Transportation
Technology & Science
Labor Co-ordination
“The 4 Hour Work Week: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere and Join the New
Rich” by Timothy Ferriss
A wonderful and easy read that will help you shift your ideas of what
wealth actually is, and what it takes to have it in your life. This book is
power-packed with tips, tricks and resources.
“The 12 Amazing Secrets of Millionaire Inventors” by Harvey Reese
If you're always coming up with amazing new or improved product ideas,
here's a very concise and conclusive guide to getting them to market,
including patenting procedures and licensing agreements.
“Think & Grow Rich: The Secret to Wealth” by Napoleon Hill
This book includes quite a few useful tools for shifting your beliefs and
self-mastery. I use his 6 items every day.
“Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids about Money –
That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!” by Robert Kiyosaki
While much of this book is structured around successfully beating ‘the
game’ by getting out of the ‘rat race’ and becoming wealthy, this book
contains some useful tidbits to help you change your perceptions, especially
the parts about the different types of learning and intelligence.
~ Expand Your Imagination ~
For Magic and other Skills there are 5 Levels of Ability for each skill. Each
instance of exercising or using that particular skill gives you one point.
When you have gained 100 points in a specific skill, you level up one level.
Thinking back on your level of experience to date in each of the skills, if
you have used that skill successfully at least 100 times, go ahead and mark
yourself as level one. For each additional 100 times you have successfully
used a skill, mark an additional level. If you have successfully used the skill
only a few times in the past, then mark your first set of hash marks for the
number of times you have used it.
Something that you have done 113 times in the past would look like this:
■ ׀׀׀ ׀׀׀׀ ׀׀׀׀
Write your hash marks in pencil, so you can erase and start over each time
you Level Up.
Next to each Skill, list it’s Uses/Advantages. This may be a practical
usage as well as showing how increasing this skill aids in Leveling Up your
Attributes and/or other Skills.
For example, next to my Writing skill (a sub-set of Creativity) I list
Communication, Teaching, + to Intelligence, + to Wisdom, + to Charisma)
Now every time I write, depending on the type of writing I am doing, I will
remember to add my hash marks to those other Skills and Attributes.
List any Languages you speak or want to learn. Languages can be any
specialized subset of communication.
Here’s an example of my Languages List:
· American English
· Insurance
· Law
· Technology
· Persuasion (NLP, Sales, Public Speaking dialects)
· Body Language
· Tonality
· Micro-Expressions
· Spanish
· Italian
· Latin
· Romanian
Now you have completely defined your character, both in the current sense
and your future desires.
The final step is to list your Quests, both Minor, Major, and Epic (or Life-
Long). Minor Quests may or may not serve the fulfillment of Major Quests,
and Major Quests may or may not serve the fulfillment of Epic Quests.
Each Quest may also have sub-Quests
Here’s an example of my Quests:
Minor Quests
· Develop my Naked Life Coaching business
· Learn Aikido
· Develop some new Painting and Drawing styles
· Learn Tango
Major Quests
· Write and Publish my books
o Living the Naked Life
o Use It Wisely! Series
§ Time Management
§ The Love Diet
§ Settings
§ Sexual Communication
§ Sex Ed
§ Child-Raising
· Master Manifestation
· Learn about and Synthesize World Religions
· Find or Develop SpeedTalk
Epic/Life Long Quests
· Travel the World
· Create Satoria Nation
Add Quests whenever you develop a new Goal. Assign the quest to a
category as you feel it fits. Sometimes Major or Epic Quests will suggest
Minor Quests to add, or vice versa.
On the journey of fulfilling your quests, treat life somewhat like a Zelda
game. Talk to each ‘villager’ you find, and as you develop more
knowledge, or if you promise to help someone, add those tasks to your
quest list.
Have fun with this. Develop some character moves to signify your Level
Up for instance. Ask your friends to join you in the Game.
“Super Hero Quest Game”
– Developed by Jonathan Livingston Andrews, described here with
permission. Any errors are mine.
Thank You
for Reading
Living the Naked Life
10 Ways to Expose Your Unlimited
Creation Abilities
In addition to this book, I’m creating a series called Use It Wisely! Each
book in the Use it Wisely! series explains how to apply the principles of
Living the Naked Life to specific areas of your life.
Now Available:
Use It Wisely! Volume 1
Time Management
7 Steps for a Creative Mind
Coming Soon….
Use It Wisely! Volume 2
The True Love Diet Do-It
How You Can Create the Body You Want
About The Author
Nadine Sabulsky is The Naked Life Coach™ for Individuals, Couples,
Families, Polyamoury Bonds, Businesses and Groups.
A student of metaphysics since 1985, she has studied Energy, Faith,
Quantum Physics, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and the Law of
Attraction. As a Naked Life Coach she helps her clients change their
patterns to create the reality they want to enjoy in their lives. She offers
coaching in person in the Greater Phoenix Metro Area, as well as
worldwide through video conferencing, phone, instant messaging & email.
As a writer, she is the Phoenix Metaphysics Columnist for Examiner.com,
as well as the author of Living the Naked Life: 10 Ways to Expose Your
Unlimited Creation Abilities, as well as a series of companion volumes
titled Use It Wisely!
She is the developer of the conceptual basis for Satoria Nation, a rationally
comprehensive plan to create a new societal paradigm through eliminating
money and using 21st century knowledge and technology to create a logical
and sustainable utopia, including the redesign of educational, medical and
legal systems, and fully automating the production and delivery of food and
goods.
She has been an entrepreneur since 1989, building a variety of businesses
including jewelry design, cleaning, graphic design, entertainment, party
planning, electronic cigarettes, financial services, software design and
education.
Information
Coach: TheNakedLifeCoach.com
Author: LivingTheNakedLife.com
Visionary: SatoriaNation.com
Teacher: Meetup.com/NakedLifeCoachingGroup
Columnist: http://exm.nr/fQGvr6
Networking
Facebook.com/nudcoach
Twitter.com/nakedlifecoach
Google + http://bit.ly/GooGly
For a complete list of all current networking sites, please visit:
TheNakedLifeCoach.com/network
Show your support! Find and “Like” our fan pages on Facebook™:
· Nadine Sabulsky – The Naked Life Coach
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Creation Abilities
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Creative Mind
Endnotes
[i] A summary of 25 studies with links to each can be found here:
http://onlinesurgicaltechniciancourses.com/2010/25-intriguing-scientific-studies-about-faith-prayer-
and-healing/
[ii] Rosenthal, Robert; Jacobson, Lenore (1992). Pygmalion in the classroom (Expanded ed.). New
York: Irvington
[iii] For a list of published studies on the Maharishi Effect visit:
http://www.webcitation.org/5rcSIXALv