ax make it How a 25-year-old earning $515,000 a year in _Sticking to this simple rule will make you think This 6 real estate spend his money twice about impulse buys $420/ work People who are good at small talk always avoid these 7 mistakes, says public speaking expert Published Tue, Aug 17 2021-9:58 AM EDT Updated Tue, Aug 17 2021-2:17 PM EDT John Bowe, Contributor HNFBOWE Aldomurillo | Getty Going back to the office soon? As a siner, one common source of anxiety I've been hearing from people is the social interaction they'll once again have to make with colleagues.asmake i learning to empathize with your audience. If you want your skill and comfort levels to soar, avoid these seven conversational pitfalls: 1. Assuming that nobody wants to talk to you If you're shy, | get it. But you're not the only one. If you're fretting about seeming confident or “natural,” you're missing the point: Stop thinking about yourself. Instead, think of reaching out as an act of service. After so many months of social isolation due to the pandemic, odds are enormous that the person next to you is just as eager to make a connection. 2. Interrupting or intruding upon an existing conversation Timing is everything. If you see two or more people vigorously engaged in conversation, they're probably not ready for you to barge in. First, wait for a lull. Then once you have someone's attention and, ideally, receive a non-verbal go-ahead, that's your chance. Keep distance in mind, too; don't stand too close or too far away. You do want to be heard. You don't want to shout or come across as creepy. 3. Start talking without having something to say If someone appears distant or lost in thought, moving into their personal space and mumbling "hey" is hardly an icebreaker.asmake it comment in mind (e.g,, ‘Are you having a good time?" or "How do you like being back in the office?"). It's all about creating a comfortable opportunity for the other person to respond, 4. Broaching controversial topics If you're talking to someone new, it's generally best not to talk about weighty, off- putting or polarizing topics, like abortion or politics. If you gravitate towards those topics later on, great. But for starters, aim for something simple and close at hand that you and the other person can observe together. Maybe it's the music you're both hearing, the food you're both tasting or the big "Welcome Back’ office banner you're both facing, 5. Being hard to follow Once you've made a connection with each other, keep that connection going by making yourself easy to understand If you speak different languages, for example, slow your speech and enunciate clearly. If you tend to speak in slang, don't use words they might not know. If they ask you what you do for work, answer in a way that doesn't take five minutes or deploy a lot of workplace jargon 6. Talking too much about yourself — or about the other person It's often said that people love to talk about themselves, and that asking questions is the secret ingredient to good conversations. But that's not true for everyone. Nobody likes to feel interrogated, so if you sense that questions aren't welcome,asmake it If you can't sense where their interests lie, try asking about subjects you're interested in (e.g,, "Hey, do you think this shirt looks funny?" or “Have you been to any good, new restaurants in this area lately?) 7. Wasting someone's time If you're talking to someone, talk to them, Don't stare at the floor or look over their shoulder at another person. Put your phone away. Be present and give them your full attention. It's easy to dismiss small talk as an insincere, unwanted and unimportant social nicety. But every relationship you value began somewhere — with an initial conversation. Was it profound? Did you cure cancer? No. But you made a genuine connection. John Bowe is a speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of "| Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in an Age of Disconnection." He has contributed to The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, GQ, McSweeney's, This American Life, and many others. Visit his website here. Don't miss: Want to sound smarter? Avoid these phrases that make you sound ‘pretentious,’ say grammar experts © Bad at public speaking? The trick is to distill your message to these 15 words © 11common grammar mistakes that make people cringe—and make you look less smartasmake it > 32 These four words can help you become a better entrepreneur Sign up now: Get smarter about your money and career with our weekly newsletter Trending Now Parents who raise ‘smart, well-rounded’ kids always avoid these 4 phrases, says tech education expert James Bond’ actor Daniel Craig says his children won't be receiving his multimillion-dollar fortune inflation Here's how much money each generation has saved for retirement 3 Warren Buffett says these businesses do the best during periods of highax make it Stay in the loop Get Make it newsletters delivered to your inbox SIGN UP About Us Learn more about the world of CNBC Make It LEARN MORE Follow Us f ¥ in OC Q a oncom > (© 2021 CNBC LLC. All Rights Reserved. A Division of NBC Universal Privacy Policy | De Not Sell My Personal Information