I WANNA ENJOY MY YOUTH

IT IS ALREADY 7: 30 IN THE MORNING, YET I AM NOT STILL GETTING UP IN MY BED. MY BODY IS STILL COVERED WITH

MY BLANKET. MY EYES ARE WATCHING EVERY MOVEMENT OF THE CLOCK IN MY WALL. I AM ABOUT TO CLOSE MY EYES

WHEN I SUDDENLY HEARD MY MOTHER’S VOICE SHOUTING IN FRONT OF MY DOOR THAT I’M GOING TO BE LATE. I

INSTANTLY STOOD UP BECAUSE OF FRIGHTENED. I THROW MY SELF TO THE BATHROOM THINKING ABOUT WHAT WILL

HAPPEN TODAY IN MY SCHOOL. YES, I AM JUST A SIMPLE HIGH SCHOOL GIRL WHO WANTS TO HAVE FUN AND ENJOY

MY YOUTH. I COMPLETED MY BATH AND I ATE MY BREAKFAST. I DON’T GO TO SCHOOL WITHOUT HAVING MY MEAL.

SOMETIMES I WANT TO SKIP EATING BUT MY PARENTS WILL GET ANGRY WITH ME. MY PARENTS ARE STRICT AND

SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD. I KNOW THAT THEY GIVE THEIR BEST IN TERMS OF GIVING ME MONEY, FOOD,

SHELTER AND OTHER THINGS. I APPRECIATE ALL THEIR EFFORTS BUT THERE IS STILL SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO HAVE.

I AM HERE AT THE SCHOOL AND THANKS GOD I AM ON TIME. MY FRIENDS INSTANTLY COME IN FRONT OF ME. THEY

KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE UPCOMING RAVE PARTY IN OUR SCHOOL. THAT PARTY WILL HAPPEN IN FRIDAY, THREE DAYS

FROM NOW. I JUMPED BECAUSE OF THE JOY AND EXCITEMENT THAT I FELT. IN MY 4 YEARS OF STUDYING HERE IN MY

SCHOOL, I NEVER EXPERIENCED TO JOIN ANY KIND OF PARTY. AS YOU ALL KNOW MY PARENTS ARE STRICT TO ME.

I CALLED MY SISTER WHO IS STUDYING FAR AWAY FROM US. I ASKED HER IF I CAN JOIN THE PARTY. SHE IS THE ONE

THAT I TALK MOST OF THE TIME BECAUSE I KNOW SHE CAN UNDERSTAND ME. SHE ALLOWED ME TO JOIN THE PARTY

BUT FIRST I NEED TO ASK MY MOTHER IF SHE WOULD ALLOW ME TOO. MY SMILE FADED AFTER OUR CONVERSATIONS.

MY FRIENDS ASKED ME IF I WILL JOIN BUT I DID NOT ANSWER THEM. THE CLASS ENDED AND MY BROTHER IS IN FRONT

OF OUR GATE WAITING FOR ME TO COME OUT. ONE OF MY FRIENDS ASKED ME IF I WANT TO COME WITH THEM, THEY

WILL EAT STREETFOODS BEFORE THEY GO HOME. I DECLINED THEIR OFFER AND I HOP IN OUR CAR. WHILE GOING

HOME, I AM THINKING ABOUT THE PARTY, I REALLY WANT TO COME. I WANT TO SOCIALIZE WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND

HAVE FUN ONCE IN A LIFETIME. MY HIGH SCHOOL LIFE IS REALLY BORING AND DULL. I AM REALLY HOPING THAT MY

MOTHER WOULD ALLOW ME. I SUDDENLY STOPPED THINKING WHEN WE REACH THE HOUSE. MY MOTHER GREETED

ME AND ASKED HOW MY DAY IS. I JUST SMILED AND I CONTINUE WALKING INSIDE MY ROOM. I CHANGED MY CLOTHES

AND I STARTED CLEANING THE HOUSE. IT IS A NORMAL THING THAT MOST OF THE TEENAGERS CAN RELATE, CLEANING

AND BEING RESPONSIBLE SO THAT THEY WILL BE ABLE TO GO OUT. SO I THINK IT MIGHT BE A REASON TO MAKE MY
MOTHER THINK OF ALLOWING ME TO JOIN THE RAVE PARTY IN SCHOOL. AFTER CLEANING, I COOKED OUR DINNER AND

SERVED IT TO THEM. WHILE EATING I OPENED UP ABOUT THE RAVE PARTY, I SAID THAT THE PARTY WILL HAPPEN THREE

DAYS FROM NOW AND I NEED THEIR CONSENT TO JOIN. MY MOTHER STAYED QUITE FOR A WHILE, I STOPPED EATING

AND I LOOK IN HER EYES. SHE SAID, “THE PARTY WILL HAPPEN AT NIGHT, IT IS NOT SAFE FOR YOU TO GO OUT”. I

SUDDENLY LOST MY APPETITE, I WANNA CRY. “WHY LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!” I SAID IN MY MIND BEFORE WALKING OUT. ALL

MY LIFE I ALWAYS FOLLOW THEIR COMMAND. I DID NOT DO SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE THEM ANGRY. I STARTED

COMPARING MYSELF TO MY SISTER. SHE ALWAYS GOES OUT WITH HER FRIENDS TO PARTY AND TRAVEL WHEREVER SHE

WANTS. I LOVE MY SISTER BUT WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS. MAYBE BECAUSE OF JEALOUSY OR WHAT, I DON’T KNOW! I

CRIED THE WHOLE NIGHT, THINKING WHAT I SHOULD DO TO ENJOY MY YOUTH. BECAUSE OF THE TIREDNESS IN CRYING

I DIDN`T NOTICE THAT I FALL ASLEEP. AS I WOKE UP, MY CHEST FEELS SO HEAVY. MY MIND IS STILL NOT MOVING ON

FROM WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT. I AM NOT FEELING WELL TO ATTEND MY SCHOOL TODAY. WHEN MY MOTHER

KNOCKS AT MY DOOR, I STOPPED THINKING FOR A BIT. “I AM NOT FEELING WELL MOM, I CAN’T GO TO SCHOOL,” I SAID

WITH MY LOWERED VOICE. SHE BROUGHT ME FOODS INSIDE MY ROOM AND MEDICINE. I FELT GUILTY OF WHAT I DID

LAST NIGHT. I TAKE A REST FOR THE WHOLE DAY BUT MY MIND IS STILL THINKING ABOUT THE PARTY. DAYS HAD

PASSED AND THE RAVE PARTY WILL HAPPEN TONIGHT. I AM HERE AT THE SCHOOL, I AM HELPING TO PREPARE OUR

GYMNASIUM FOR TONIGHT`S EVENT. MY FRIENDS ASKED ME AGAIN IF I WILL COME TONIGHT. I SAID, “NO, MY PARENTS

DID NOT ALLOW ME TO COME”. ONE OF THEM ANSWERED ME “AGAIN? YOU ARE ALWAYS NOT JOINING THE PARTY,

COME ON! YOU CAN RUN AWAY TONIGHT, WE WILL HELP YOU” I STOPPED FOR A BIT AND I THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE

HAD SAID. MAYBE I CAN DO IT FOR ONCE. AFTER DECORATING THE GYMNASIUM, I CAME HOME AND I LOOKED FOR MY

MOTHER. I ASKED HER AGAIN IF SHE COULD ALLOW ME TO THE PARTY. I AM HOPING THAT SHE WOULD ANSWER ME

YES BUT AS EXPECTED SHE DISAGREED. I ANGRILY RUN TO MY ROOM AND CRY. I WAITED UNTIL THE SUNSET AND I CALL

MY FRIENDS. I ASKED IF HOW I AM SUPPOSED TO ESCAPE HERE AND THEY TOLD ME THE PLAN, NOT THINKING TWICE I

LOOKED FOR SOME CLOTHES THAT WILL CLOSE TO THE THEME OF THE PARTY. IT IS 8 O’CLOCK IN THE EVENING AND I

AM GOING TO ESCAPE. I AM WALKING AT THE BACK DOOR WHEN SOMETHING CAME ACROSS MY MIND. SOMEONE’S

TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD NOT DO THIS THING. THIS IS NOT RIGHT, I KNOW. IT IS MY CONSCIENCE WHO IS TELLING

ME THAT IT IS NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO. SO I GO BACK TO MY ROOM AND CHANGED MY CLOTHES. I TEXTED MY

FRIENDS THAT I COULD’NT MAKE IT. THEY DID NOT REPLY MAYBE BECAUSE THEY ARE ENJOYING NOW.
TODAY IS ANOTHER DAY OF BEING SAD, I WOKE UP AND I QUICKLY GO TO OUR DINING AREA. WHILE EATING MY

MOTHER SUDDENLY OPENED THE TOPIC OF WHAT I HAD DONE LAST NIGHT. SHE SAID SHE SAW ME IN OUR CCTV

TRYING TO ESCAPE. “OMG! WHY DID I FORGET THAT?” I SHOUTED IN MY MIND. I FEEL NERVOUS, I DON`T KNOW WHAT

TO ANSWER. SHE ASKED ME “WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” I CRIED WHILE I ANSWERED,” I JUST WANNA TRY TO HAVE FUN

MOM. ALL THESE YEARS I AM ALWAYS FOLLOWING YOUR COMMAND. I ALWAYS OBEY YOU”. SHE STOOD UP

FURIOUSLY AND SAID, “WHY CAN`T YOU UNDERSTAND ME! IT IS NOT SAFE FOR YOU TO GO OUT”. THE CONVERSATION

DID NOT END JUST LIKE. MY MOTHER REALIZED THAT SHE IS VERY TIGHT WITH ME, SHE APOLOGIZED. I SAID THAT I

UNDERSTAND THEM BUT SOMETIMES I JUST NEED TO ENJOY MY YOUTH. I AM CURRENTLY IN MY TEENAGE YEARS YET I

DID NOT EXPERIENCE THE JOY THAT THE OTHER PEOPLE FELT. STARTING THAT DAY SHE MADE ME FEEL THAT SHE IS

NOW ALLOWING ME TO GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS. ONE TIME, MY FRIENDS TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO COME WITH

THEM UNWIND IN THE BEACH. I ASKED FOR MY MOTHERS CONSENT AND I WAS SHOCKED THAT SHE ALLOWED ME TO

GO. THAT JUST NOT HAPPEN ONE TIME, SHE ALWAYS SAYS THAT SHE HAS TRUST ON ME. HER TRUST IS BIG THAT IS WHY

I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF IT AND I MUST APPRECIATE IT. I LEARNED THAT SOMETIMES IT IS NOT WRONG TO SAY THE

THINGS IN YOUR MIND. SOMETIMES IT HELPS US TO EXPRESS WHAT WE FEEL. I FELT HAPPY BECAUSE I FOLLOWED MY

CONSCIENCE WHICH MADE ME FEEL FREE TODAY. MAYBE IF I ESCAPED THAT NIGHT, I CANNOT FEEL THE SATISFACTION

AND ENJOYMENT OF BEING YOUTH.