St.

Francis of Assisi: a man transformed in prayer

Reflection Paper by: Br. Larson Kim Baltazar, OFMCap.

“Our Brokenness and struggles are not spotted so much in our convictions about
prayer, but rather in our daily practice.”

These words from the letter from the General Minister to all the friars of the Order
struck me the most. Because for the fact that I was not practicing it myself in the past month.
I was so overwhelmed from the news that I received recently that at first I perceived it to be a
destruction to my inner peace and my whole being but later through the help of Human
Formation Office, I realized that it is actually a Good news because this is the missing piece
of my life that was kept hidden for me for many years and this news is essential in order to
make me whole. My prayer life was so much affected by that news at first. I really struggle a
lot to focus on prayer and common meditation, because every time that I seat in our
Community Chapel, memories of the past flooded my mind and prevents me to focus on the
liturgy. I was so overwhelmed with so much anger during those times. The lyrics from the
song “Buksan” by Mimo Perez ‘…Ang pusong may galit, di maaring umibig, bulag sa
wasto, alipin ng isip…” sums up my experience on prayer, it is true that I cannot truly love
God in my prayer with a heavy heart.

It is also mentioned in the letter about “Skipping Prayer’ and it also hits me really hard.
Though I was physically present every time in our common meditation and prayer, my
thoughts was roaming around and I was not mentally present and out of focus. And that for
me is also a form of Skipping prayer which needs to be addressed.

In all of these, I realized that all of my struggles is actually a blessing in disguise and it
is truly a grace from God to continue to persevere in my prayer life despite of my many
difficulties because He says, “… My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9. And I always be mindful that it is not solely my personal
effort to pray to God but with the help of the Holy Spirit as St. Paul says, “In the same way,
the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought,
but the Spirit itself intercedes with inexpressible groanings.” - Romans 8:26