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MODERN \ byte ng an Essay izi > g < ind) 5 aS S Re snd) & Organ In 1965 Robert Kaplan, a linguist at the University of Southern California, looked into a very interesting question regarding writing styles in different cultures: Are they different? He found that they were. In order to see just how they might be different, discuss how you would deal with the following situation with some of your classmates. This will give you a “window” onto the topic of culture and will be the beginning of our discussion of unity. If you can work with classmates from cultures other than your own, all the better! Uni 7 __ Unity One way you can remind yourself of the typical writing style of the United States iS fo remind yourself of one of the most common U.S. stereotypes—"Time is money. In many cultures’ Writing styles, it is permissible to postpone naming the topic of the writing (or never to name it) or to deviate from the topic temporarily. Oe ee A Ee Cinthia ete ies agin cee of eleerecnetiaic which we will refer to as unity. The principle of unity in the United States involves three characteristics; * that you very early plan to discuss; * that you give only information and examples which are directly related to the topic and the point of view you have chosen; and * that you nor discuss anything that is not directly related to the topic and point of view. make clear the topic and the aspect of this topic that you These characteristics are true on two levels: for the whole writing and its topics and for the individual paragraphs and theit subtopics. EXERCISE: | Read the following topics and their aspects to discuss. Then deter- mine which piece of information or example cannot be used in the writing because it violates the principle of unity. 1. topic = education aspect to discuss = determines a child's future * Literacy is important for full participation in society. + Teachers may not always be competent. * Children become fully socialized in classrooms with other children. * Children may find their talents when they are in school 2, topic = fatherless children aspect to discuss = have more problems than other children + Fatherless children are more often involved in crime as teenagers. + Fatherless children have more difficulty as adults relating appropriately to men, + Fatherless children more often suffer from poverty. + Fatherless children may learn to be more independent and self-sufficient. 3. topic = poor people aspect to discuss = need more help from the government + The government ought to stimulate job growth for the unemployed, + The government should provide more day care for children so that single mothers can go to work. * There should be more places for homeless people to stay until they can find a home of their own. + Financial assistance from the government to poor people encourages these people not to help themselves. s stereotyped as overly concerned with money and un- “People in the United States are often stereotyp willing to spend time on anything which won't result in the accumulation of more money. Hence, “Time is money. ntence —— “The Topic Se & is money” paragraph is the topic sentence, which Usual. fh but may actually also appear elsewhere in the highly experienced writers write paragraphs with such strong snce is unnecessary. We say that the topic sentence is iin, ters do construct topic sentences because these sen. .o are constantly trying to understand the written the “time ther part of rape in the paragrap! ly appears early paragraph. Many ‘unity that a topic sentence plied. However, most wri tences are helpful to readers, wht text. : i , ‘You are already familiar with topic sentences from the previous exercise i i “education”) and an aspect to discuss (such They typically contain a topic (such as “e a as sqeeetines a child’s future”). Examine the following paragraphs. Underline the topic sentence for each. Don’t expect all to be at the beginning ‘A. “Academically, Poly students are standouts, On the Scholastic Aptitude Test, a widely used college entrance examination, the class of 1991 scored an average of 615 out of a possible 800 in the verbal part of the test and 675 in math. The national averages for public high school students were 419 and 473 respectively, according to the college Board, which sponsors the exam. . .. Last year, 38 students, or 51% of the class of 1991, were National Merit or National Achievement honorees.” (Merl, 1992, Sec. A p. 30) B. “For minority-group children the poverty situation is even more drastic. An astonishing 43 percent of black and 37 percent of Hispanic children live below the poverty threshold, Eighteen and a half million children live in the central cities; 29 percent of them live in poverty. The majority (71 percent) of poor children live in families with two parents present, and with one or both parents working” (Ropers, 1991, p. 45) C. “As work shifted out of the fields and the home, children had to be Prepared for factory life. The carly mine, mill, and factory owners of industrializing England discovered, as Andrew Ure wrote in 1835, that it was [ican lespossibte ‘e Convert persons past the age of puberty, whether sham fom ral or from handicraft occupations, into useful factory hands! People could be prefitted* to the industrial system, it would vastly ease th i i e problems of industrial discipline later on, The result was another central structure of all Sec: ‘4 ieti cau ‘ond Wave societies: mass education.” (Toffler and unscrupulous i : Pagus in Order to make it. If you are not, then you will end UP rkiny : Gaines ats assembly line or in the chicken factory to support ing home gee) SOCK in the morning to take the bus to work ‘until S p.m." (Khiev, 1992, Pp. 8) your family. and not getti “Trained ahead or Trained ahead of time, E. “Throughout history, men have been torn from their families by wat, disease and death. But in ‘90s America; men are choosing to disconnect from family life on a massive scale, and at far higher rates than other industrialized countries. ‘Men are drifting away from family life? says Blankenhorn. ‘We are in danger of becoming a fatherless society’” (Easton, 1992, p. 15) In addition to a topic sentence, a paragraph must have other sentences which support and explain the topic sentence. (Newspapers often have one-sentence paragraphs because the columns are so narrow that multisentence paragraphs would be very long and difficult to read.) There are many styles for developing a paragraph. You will discover your own preferred style as you gain experience in writing. For now, you might consider the following basics as a starting point. * topic sentence; + one or more sentences of explanation of the topic sentence; + evidence, in the form of examples, statistics, or quotes perhaps, to support your topic sentence; and + a summary of how your evidence supports your topic sentence if it is not immediately obvious. Let’s see how this basic method works in a paragraph. Examine the paragraph below noticing the parts described above. “I hated America because to me, it was not the place of opportuni- ties or the land of ‘the melting pot as I had been told. [topic sentence) All I bad seen were broken beer boltles on the street and homeless people ‘and drunks using the sky as thetr roof. I couldn't walk down the street without someone yelling out, ‘You —— gook’ from bis car: [evidence] nce again I was caught in the web of hatred. I'd become a mad dog with the mind-set of the past: ‘When trapped in the comer, just bite’ The war mentality of Cambodia came back: get what you can and leave. [thought 1 come to America to escape war, poverty, fighting, to escape the vio- ence, but Lwasn't escapi being introduced to a newer version of in war—the war of hatred.” [explanation] (Khiev, 1992, p. 8) phs A, B, and C below in the same way. Analyze paragray ew strategy for involving students more in their educations is ships, where the students get job training by working along- Is who are already on the job. The problem is that youth apprenticeships don't work very well for several reasons. First, youth apprentices are often used for the kinds of work that nobody else in the com pany wants to do: delivering messages, making photocopies, answering Phones. Second they are rarely given a chance to see the real business of the Company in action; they may spend a good deal of time simply sitting alone. core piannah Finan Roditi, who used to be a consultant for youth apprentice . ‘students in work/study programs learn few academic or technical A. One n youth apprentice: side professional + nothin: alm 34-35) kills a0 sat 1992 P> (rebeck, Research ht sas a as found that children don’t dream in gy, duits do. For one thing, thei Arcam a “ag than adults’ dreams are. For ex, Ft ie chased by animals or song jen Area my, Robert Van de Castle at the Univers dream about animals much more o ah in addition, children often dream that they ag hysical attack, perhaps because they fee! 5, ; in the face of the large world aroung the same than adults do. the victims of physica! small and defenseless them. (Keough, 1990, p. 17) . ‘Money is a language; further, there are different money Janguages in different cultures. In Japan, wedding ‘guests are given money in an cnvelope, but children don’t get allowances.” Wealthy people can expect less wealthy social climbers to pick up the tab for a meal in the United States, but not in Mexico or Ghana. In Sweden a taxi driver will give you back a tip; in New York you may get physically assaulted for not giving the driver a sufficiently large tip.” (Phillips, 1992, p. 73) EXERCISE: Practice writing unified par: following topic senten: graphs by reading the Sand completing each paragraph with Your own ideas. Try to include some explanation and an example for each. 1. One topic th ic that should be taug! ee i palates sears tught by a child's family at home rather than by4 = ee SS — > — 2. The best thing f SSitor to see in my - ed NB for a visitor to s, m s te eats — 18. een he Se eon Patents MES where ele Te English ny at all about independent thin, f a Just as the topic sentence guides your readers’ understanding of the paragraph, the thesis statement guides your readers’ understanding of a longer piece of writing. Itis a writer’s promise to his or her readers: This is what my paper is about. The thesis statement is similar to the topic sentence in other ways as well: EXERCISE: Itappears near the beginning of the writing, either at the end of the intro- duction or as the first sentence of the writing if there is no introduction. Ithas a topic and an aspect to discuss. All information and evidence in the entire writing must be unified with the thesis statement, Highly experienced writers may not include thesis statements in their writing. Practice identifying the topic and aspect to discuss in each of the following thesis statements. Then discuss possible paragraph topics for the rest of the essay for each. 1. ‘Various socictal, political, and cultural factors have made the American wel- fare state a reluctant one. (Jansson, 1993, p. 319) Four factors are crucial to understanding variations in the degree of paternal involvement in the family. (Lamb, 1987, p. 17.) ‘The liberal tradition of the U.S. welfare policy has been an ambiguous one. ansson, 1993, p. 341) If reading is the cornerstone of learning, then the best foundations are built in New Zealand. (Burns, 1991, p. 53) Three skills that help improve assertiveness are owning our feelings, being empathic, and being tactful. (Kleinke, 1987, pp. 107-108) fi " There are some characteristics that you will want to avoid in your thesis statements, A thesis statement must not have only a topic or only an aspect to discuss; it must have both. A fact cannot be a thesis statement. What could you possibly say to support itif itis obviously true? Thesis statements express opinions, which must be supported in the body of the paper and about which there is a lot to say. A thesis statement is given in a complete sentence. It is not a title: it’s a sentence. A thesis statement expresses one opinion about one topic, although it may mention several reasons for that opinion. ‘Thesis statements that have several topics or several opinions lead to unclear, incoherent papers Related to the previous quality, thesis statements must not be too broad, Remember, itis the writer's promise to the reader. Ifa thesis statement is too broad, it promises too much, and the paper won't be able to keep that promise, By nece: ity, introductions are more general th han the paragraphs that follow them. The reader is just starting to figure out what the essay is about when reading the introduction. Therefore, the purpose of an introduction is to acquaint the reader gradually with the topic of the essay. Although there are many ty} pes of introduc * Fi aa F sf tions possible, below are some characteristics which are common to success introductions: yf ways + They catch the reader's attention quickly. There are a number a fe to do this. Using a quotation from a famous person is one way. Telling * th of anecdote related to the topic is also attention-getting. Asking a questo" reader (called a “thetori 4, torical question") is another way, although it may sometimes appear immature to do so when th is is the only type of sentence the writer appears to know how to write sideaiciamedsins By far, the best way to catch a reader's attention is to make clear how the topic relates to him or her personally eal ; This means understanding the audience very PITFALL! Avoid quoting a definiti : ion from a dictionary as the opening sen- tence. It is boring and can make writi ats e ing seem immature. + They orient the reader toward the topic. The introduction is the place where writers give the readers any background information they might need to understand the information in the paragraphs later or to understand why the topic is worth reading about. Historical information might be given or the writer might explain why the topic is important in the present day, whether it has been in the news, perhaps what the different opinions on the topic are. + They gradually but obviously lead the reader into the thesis. Unity applies to introductions too, even though introductions are more general than body paragraphs. Although the writer's point of view about the topic is not likely to be clear until the thesis, the topic should be clear from the first sentence. PITFALL! Inexperienced writers sometimes make the introduction so gen- eral that it bears little or no relation to the specific topic of the paper. Always re- member that the introduction is not simply a placeholder or a required part of a formula; it has a purpose: It orients the reader toward the specific topic of the paper. r Overcoming Limitations: When you are unable to write a satisfac- tory opening for your essay, skip it for a while, work on another part of your essay, then come back to the opening later. You will find it easier to write the opening when you know more about the body of the essay. EXERCISE: Evaluate the following introductions using the criteria above. How good are they in your opinion? How does each catch the reader's attention? ‘Where’s the thesis statement in each? What do you expect the rest of each paper to be about? A. “Rose Kennedy (John E Kennedy's mother) was once asked about her reaction to the many tragedies that had befallen her family. She replied, ‘I cope: Coping can be defined as the efforts we make to manage situations we have appraised as potentially harmful or stressful. These features are impor- tant in a definition of coping because they allow us to study different styles and strategies of coping and to evaluate which ones work best in different situations, The goal of researchers has been to find out whether there are IN viewing the world that are more op jt has been found that Certain quate ful situations.” (Kleinke, 1987, a ways of 5. In facts ‘ssful or harm! sonality traits ariou daptive in ¥é i stres aap peer COPE eta a 2 aid that one should fear quakes, thunde, inate have seen democracy Combined wit a ut ince yn comtemporaey JAPAN, Ne FARE has op fe eral feminization Ot ee ingly, the COMM i come | ads? are feited his authority» 6 our schools seems to havs OME LUE. 0 fn Kainging about the Ui. O' Or thunderous Fathers was formed. The December, 1 i cartoonist, an explorer, a member of founders included eae boxing champions. COhgiya, 1983, p national Dict, and 960) sn prewar days it wa fire, and fathers,” put since the 1s actor, @ sumo and such as the Thunderous Fathers may reflect =the existence of 2 BFOUP MT nese toward fatherhood. ... This th le curiosity among, i? ont Cowes The confused and controversial nature of the paternal aroup riaMigen Japanese culture... - The role oF the Japanese father is il. role in mi s Gefined [and] devalued” Camb, 1991, P- 27H C. Inthe Diana School in Reggio Emilia, northern Italy, the glass walls are covered with children’s art, and more of their art hangs from the ceilings, “The children are provided with dressing rooms in case they want to change to a “disguise” for the day and pretend they are someone else, Other imag. inationinspiring artwork decorates the classrooms. The school is praised worldwide as a showcase of educational innovations. Says its director, Loris Malaguzzi, “A school needs to be a place for all children, not based on the idea that they're all the same, but that they're all different.” (Hinckle, 1991, p.53-54) Conclusions 4 The fee conclusion is to bring the essay to a graceful end. ‘That a piece of Megat cae toa end is generally not a surprise to the reader: After all, he or ee following the last paragraph! Therefore, the function rather to beg sotto show the reader that the essay is about to end but Sen Say to an end in such a way that the reader feels satisfied » as @ whole. There are several common methods for doing this. NO doubt, as you b ecome a mon i ' styles, ‘© experienced writer, you will find your own favorite timed writs na i ings, such as } OF, at most, a one-s on tions and conclusion = EXAMS, there sentence summary. is ions. no time to write elaborate introduc Some poss Sible styles fox F Conclusions include: statin; thesis, word fone {hesis. The key is restating \f ‘ating. If you simply repeat your Fd, Your writi siting wi '8 will look unsophisticated and immatute: f the most precious experiences of my life. As an ex. gh an unknown area, [have been a traveler in the to figure out what it really looks like from out. hing about American people or their ways, | porn again in America learning the new ways from school. In dota et have come to realize the difference in teaching styles between doing Ws, America and Korea, which, in 1% has led me to discover the an cating teaching aspect of American schools, which is what I have emp 3 been looking for from my education. s been one 0! plorer makes his way throu! ‘jungle’ called America trying side. Knowing practically not! America ha: dern society, each person has to deal with all kinds ‘These problems can be about job selection, social life, private life, and mathematical and scientific problems. One may think that we can resolve these problems if the solutions and the answers to each problem have been fed to us previously through education as the teach- ers in Korea do. However, we have our own personalities, and, in dealing with problems, one has to have his own opinion and an ability to decide what is right for himself to get the best result. In that sense, having an em- phasis on developing and empowering one’s own way to face problems, the ‘American teaching style is really beneficial to every student, and, studying in ‘America under such a good teaching system with more individual freedom, I feel that I have been really fortunate to have a chance to learn this precious difference in teaching styles between the two countries.” Jay Lee, student) “Living in today’s mo of complex problems everyday. C. “Why do women have a higher chance of being in poverty than any other group that is classified as poor? For one, in present day America, women are being treated unfairly at work. Because of this unfair treatment, ey have a higher risk of becoming poor than men do. In order to provide reer service to help the American women in poverty, equal participation in government is needed to change the laws. Although there’s no one an- swer to how to stop poverty, there are ways to alleviate it. Wit! ‘1 nee iy! bon Nea ie women have to cross to be out of poverty, the monopolizing most poeta ing in jobs, undervaluing women’s work, @opf, 1989) In order to ieee ae and maintaining economic inequality. legislation or affirmative action isa step is Sconornic eppormunisics, equal Pa increase of equ: ddveente cect aie eA gradual Woman's pitty for all people can then be seen. aioe aa eat home and a woman is less capable of doing the same work as a man shoul : student) uld be perceived as a myth to everyone.” (Ronald Chen, ORG we Education and se Fg dined site! ou. sie te! One way to keep your readers aware of the topic you are discussing and the direction in which you plan to lead them is to use simple transitions. (On page 133 you will find a discussion of phrasal and sentence transitions.) Simple transitions such as however, on the other band, in addition, and therefore act as signals in writing. Imagine that you were going to travel across a country like the United States. You would have a map, but how would you identify the roads you needed to travel on? By road signs, of course. And how many signs would you like to have? One every 100 miles? One every 10 feet? Of course not. ‘Too few signs can lead to confusion, but so can too many. Too often, students learn about simple transitions and apply the rule “if one is good, a hundred must be great” It is not helpful to your reader to begin every sentence in your writing with a transition. Instead, try to use them as aids to your readers’ comprehension. In addition, be sure that your transitions name the rela- tionship between ideas, but do not create the relationship. Simply adding as a re- sult does not guarantee that the next sentence is truly a result of the previous one. Which transitions do you notice in this paragraph? Simple transitions are often used to relate information in a subsequent para- graph to that in a previous one. However, they can also do the same between sen- tences within one paragraph. Some common ways to use transitions are given below. (More specific ways are given in Chapter 6.) Notice that simple transitions are always followed by commas. * to show similarity or continuity in types of information: in addition, in fact, moreover, also, * to show contrasts or differences in information: however, nevertheless, * to show sequence: first, second, next, finally, + to link examples with their generalizations: for example, for instance, * to introduce summary information: in sbort, in summary, to summarize, in conclusion, + to show results: therefore, as a result, thus, consequently, bence, (very formal) EXERCISE 1—Simple Transitions: Read the following paragraphs until you understand them well. Then identify the simple transitions, and discuss the fol- lowing with one or more classmates: + the relative number of transitions compared to the length of the essay; + the meanings of each transition and why these meanings are appropriate; and « the clarity of the passage if the transitions were absent. ARE JAPANESE SCHOOLS ALWAYS BETTER? ‘There have been many comparisons recently between U.S. educational methods and Japanese methods. As a matter of fact, the implication has al- ways been that U.S, educators have a lot to learn from their Japanese coun- terparts, since Japan has become such a highly industrialized, economically successful country in such a relatively short amount of time. It is likely that there are several areas that U.S. educators may choose to copy. However, not all Japanese educational methods are easily applied in the U.S. ‘First, we tend to admire the Japanese character for its emphasis on effort Itis this very effort that apparently explains the rapid economic rise of the country, For example, in some Japanese kindergartens, students go shirtless all year long to build endurance and some schools require boys to wear short pants during the winter. The Japanese six

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