CULTURAL FRIENDSHIP

PAPER

This paper was prepared to fulfill the assignment for the Cross-Cultural
Understanding taught by Mr. Mulyadi, SS, M.Pd.

Compiled by:
Dela Safitri (19381032038)
Muh Fathor Rosy (19381031041)
Ananda Naufal A.M (19381031184)

ENGLISH EDUCATION DEPARTMENT

TARBIYAH FACULTY

STATE ISLAMIC INSTITUTE OF MADURA

2021

i
 FOREWORD

Praise and gratitude to Allah SWT for the outpouring of blessings

and abundance of His grace, we were able to complete this paper with the
title "Cultural Friendship" as one of the requirements to fulfill the course
assignments taught by Mr. Mulyadi, SS, M. pd.
Shalawat and greetings may continue to flow to the enlightener who
is the second hand in the divine treatise, becomes the proclamation of the
ummah in showing the straight path (shirat al-mustaqim), and who becomes
the enlightener of the bad morals and thoughts that have shattered the social
order into a an orderly and civilized form of life.
In this paper, it has been adapted to the material and science
concerned with the subject matter of the paper that has been determined. We
are also fully aware that in this paper there are errors and omissions.
Therefore, we hope that readers will provide suggestions, positive and
constructive criticisms for the benefit of our next assignments.
Hopefully this simple paper can be a useful work and be a good deed
for us, and solely hope for the pleasure of Allah SWT.

Pamekasan, 26th September 2021

Group 4

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 TABLE OF CONTENTS

COVER PAGE................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................
i

FOREWORD..................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................
ii........................................................................................................................

TABLE OF CONTENTS...............................................................................
..........................................................................................................................
iii

CHAPTER I PRELIMINARY......................................................................

A. Background
..............................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................
1
B. Formulation of Problem........................................................................
1
C. Purpose of Writing
..............................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................
2

CHAPTER II DISCUSSION.........................................................................
3

A. Friendship

iii
 ...............................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................
2
B. Madurace and American Create Circle of Friend
...............................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................
3
C. Madurese and American people View Male-Female Relationship
...............................................................................................................
...............................................................................................................
4
D. Madurese and American People Initiate
Cultural Relationship
...............................................................................................................
5

CHAPTER III CONCLUSION.....................................................................

..........................................................................................................................
7

REFERENCES...............................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................
8

iv
 CHAPTER I

PRELIMINARY

A. Background
Culture is the power of the mind in the form of copyright and flavor, while
culture is the result of a copyright sense, initiative, and a sense of the
Koentjaraningrat (1976:28). Culture is owned by every nation, and therefore the
culture of every nation are mutually different. Although sometimes there are
similarities as well as family and race. As in discussion is that how can we facilitate a
positive impression of the people of different cultures with us, of course we must first
understand their culture so as not occurred clash culture between our culture with
their culture.
Speaking of the word 'friend', in the Oxford Dictionary the word friend is defined
as: “one attached to another by affection or esteem”.
In American culture and some countries in the world, the definition of the word
friend alone can be very diverse. Friends can mean many things including: close
friends childhood, best friends, new friends, family friends, schoolmates, friends in a
particular team or community, coworkers, friends roommates, acquaintances, or even
girlfriends/boyfriends (lover).1 So In the practice of everyday life, the word friend can
be more freely defined depending on the proximity factor, the relationship factor with
the family, the condition factor environment, and so on. One may have many friends,
but they will only have a few close friends.

B. Formulation of Problem
1. What is friendship?
2. How do Madurese and American people create a circle of friend?
1
Iin Rachmawati, S. M. (2018). Dasar-dasar Teori Cross Cultural Understanding. Bangkalan: STKIP
PGRI Bangkalan Press .
 3. How do Madurese and American people view male-female relationship?
4. How do Madurese and American people initiate cultural relationship?

C. Purpose of Writing
1. To understand about friendship.
2. To understand how Madurese and American people create a circle of friend.
3. To understand how Madurese and American people view male-female
relationship.
4. To understand how Madurese and American people initiate cultural
relationship

CHAPTER II

DISCUSSION

A. Friendship
Friendship or best friend is an interpersonal relationship between two
individuals who are productive and positive2. Relationships that exist in
friendship must build each other in a positive direction. Friendship is a voluntary
relationship that has intimacy, mutual help, and both individuals desire the
presence of friends in their lives3. Friends are a source of happiness for
individuals, because the intimacy that is formed can exceed other types of
interpersonal relationships.

2
DeVito, J. (1995). The interpersonal communication book. New York: Harper Collins College
Publishers.
3
Miller, R. S. (2015). Intimate relationship (Vol. VII). New York: McGraw-Hill.

2
 Talking about the word 'friend', in the Oxford Dictionary the word friend is
defined as: "one attached to another by affection or esteem". In American culture
and some countries around the world, the definition of the word friend can vary
widely. Friends can mean many things including: close childhood friends, best
friends, new friends, family friends, school friends, friends in certain teams or
communities, co-workers, roommates, acquaintances, or even female
friends/friends. man (lover). So in the practice of daily life, the word friend can be
more freely defined depending on the proximity factor, the relationship factor
with the family, the environmental condition factor, and so on. A person may
have many friends, but they will only have a few close friends.4

B. Madurese and American People Create a Circle of Friend

 America
Circles of friendship are therefore much more than friendship. It is a natural
human urge to seek company, to talk to people, share personal experiences - the
joys and sorrows of everyday life, the jokes, and in short, whatever interests us.
Friendship, however, is not free from its context in social life, and it helps to
know why we have the friends that we do. Example: best friend and good friend
(work friend, sports friend,etc)
Citizens of the world a lot make the stereotype that typical Americans are
quite friendly even when communicating with foreigners, but they rarely have
close friends because the friendship they have is categorized as something that is
not really real or fake. Fake here means is that Americans use most of their time
for things that are actually productive like dedicate a huge commitment to their
family, work, and some volunteering projects in school and in their community.
Service that makes many Americans have little time to establish friendships are

4
Iin Rachmawati, S. M. (2018). Dasar-dasar Teori Cross Cultural Understanding. Bangkalan: STKIP
PGRI Bangkalan Press, hlm.78.

3
 intimate or close.5 This example is not to generalize to typical Americans
because there are definitely some of them who have enough time to establish and
maintain their friendship.
 Madurese
On the other hand, typical of some Indonesians, such as Madurese people,
who have very strong friendship bonds between one person and another who
come from one area. For example, when there are Madurese people who
migrate to an area, usually in that area an association or community of
Madurese people will be formed. They will help each other and their
friendship will become closer and become like brothers because they both
assume that they share the same fate. Even when there is a Madurese who has
migrated to Kalimantan or Papua and he gets a fairly high position in an
institution or company, he does not hesitate to help his friends both for work
and other forms of assistance.6 No matter how far they migrate, the bonds of
friendship among people from their culture will always be strong.
C. Madurese and American people View Male-Female Relationship
In American culture in general, men and women can form very close
relationships. In terms of a society that comes from a culture where the
relationship between men and women (where there is no marriage bond) is
limited or even prohibited altogether, of course this American-style culture can
be very confusing. Single men and women as well as those who are married or
engaged can interact intimately and become close friends and share their personal
problems without getting involved in a romantic relationship.7

5
Iin Rachmawati, S. M. (2018). Dasar-dasar Teori Cross Cultural Understanding. Bangkalan: STKIP
PGRI Bangkalan Press, hlm.78.

6
Ibid.
7
Iin Rachmawati, S. M. (2018). Dasar-dasar Teori Cross Cultural Understanding. Bangkalan: STKIP
PGRI Bangkalan Press, hlm.79.

4
 Friendship between men and women in Madura is still seen as an unusual
relationship in society. Social norms held by society are still limited in regulating
how individuals make friendships between men and women in society. Social
norms are guidelines that regulate how a person behaves in society. These
limitations give rise to stereotypes about friendship between men and women.
Society has a stereotype that the relationship between men and women is a
romantic relationship, there are even people who think that friendship between
men and women is an impossible relationship. The existence of border ambiguity
between male and female friendships and romantic relationships reinforces this
assumption. Individuals who undergo these friendships must be careful in their
behavior in their environment, so as not to be considered a romantic partner or a
potential partner to continue the relationship into a romantic relationship.8

D. Madurese and American People Initiate Cultural Relationship

As explained in the previous point, many world citizens make stereotypes that
the typical American is friendly enough even when communicating with
foreigners, but they rarely have close friends because the friendships they
have are categorized as something that is not really real or fake. The bogus
here is that Americans spend most of their time on truly productive things
such as dedicating their major commitments to family, work, and some
volunteer projects at school or in their community.9

Americans (especially those who live in smaller cities) are still known to be
friendly even to foreigners. It's not unusual when you're queuing at the post
office or at the grocery store, for example, when someone invites you to talk
on light and universal topics like "It's really sunny today, isn't it?" And a few
8
Monsour, M. (2002). Women and men as friends : Relationships across the life Span in the 21st
century. USA: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
9
Iin Rachmawati, S. M. (2018). Dasar-dasar Teori Cross Cultural Understanding. Bangkalan: STKIP
PGRI Bangkalan Press, hlm.78

5
minutes later they will tell you a little life story or information related to their
life for example, "Yes, my wife left me a long time ago" or something like "It
seems I really need a new assistant because my children are moving out of
town soon. ” or something like “I'm going to be a dad soon”. For some
foreigners in America, this is considered very strange because you should not
trust strangers to tell about your life. For Americans themselves, telling a little
bit of their life story to strangers is not an exaggeration because they just want
to share happiness or want to relieve fatigue for a moment. For them, it's okay
to talk to strangers because after all they will never see that person again.

In contrast to the Madurese, when on a trip for example and meet foreigners
with different cultures, of course. Madurese don't hesitate to start a
conversation, even many of them seem to "glorify" strangers and maybe some
also want to make closer friendships. But it doesn't necessarily tell a private
life like some Americans do to foreigners.

CHAPTER III

6
 CONCLUSION

Friendship or best friend is an interpersonal relationship between two

individuals who are productive and positive. Relationships that exist in friendship
must build each other in a positive direction. Friendship is a voluntary relationship
that has intimacy, mutual help, and both individuals desire the presence of friends in
their lives. Friends are a source of happiness for individuals, because the intimacy
that is formed can exceed other types of interpersonal relationships.
The difference between Madurese and Americans in friendship :
 Americans
Americans use most of their time for things that are actually productive
like dedicate a huge commitment to their family, work, and some
volunteering projects in school and in their community. Service that
makes many Americans have little time to establish friendships are
intimate or close.
In American culture in general, men and women can form very close
relationships. In terms of a society that comes from a culture where the
relationship between men and women (where there is no marriage bond)
is limited or even prohibited altogether, of course this American-style
culture can be very confusing. Single men and women as well as those
who are married or engaged can interact intimately and become close
friends and share their personal problems without getting involved in a
romantic relationship.
 Madurese
On the other hand, typical of some Indonesians, such as Madurese people,
who have very strong friendship bonds between one person and another
who come from one area. For example, when there are Madurese people
who migrate to an area, usually in that area an association or community
of Madurese people will be formed. They will help each other and their

7
 friendship will become closer and become like brothers.

Friendship between men and women in Madura is still seen as an unusual

relationship in society. Social norms held by society are still limited in
regulating how individuals make friendships between men and women in
society. Social norms are guidelines that regulate how a person behaves
in society. These limitations give rise to stereotypes about friendship
between men and women. Society has a stereotype that the relationship
between men and women is a romantic relationship.

REFERENCES

Iin Rachmawati, S. M. Dasar-dasar Teori Cross Cultural Understanding. Bangkalan:

STKIP PGRI Bangkalan Press, 2018
Monsour, M. Women and men as friends : Relationships across the life Span in the
21st century. USA: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 2002
DeVito, J. The interpersonal communication book. New York: Harper Collins
College Publishers.

Miller, R. S. Intimate relationship (Vol. VII). New York: McGraw-Hill, 2015.

8
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