Listening to the voices of Syrian women refugees in Jordan: Ethnographies of

Displacement and Emplacement

By
Ruba Al Akash & Karen Boswall

ABSTRACT

In the border town of Irbid, in Northern Jordan, five refugee camps host more than quarter of
a million refugees, the majority of whom are women. Outside of the camps the population of
the towns and villages along the border have doubled since the beginning of the Syrian crisis
in 2011 bringing the number of refugees in this border area of Jordan to over half a million.
Many of these refugees are from the rural communities of and around Dera’a where the
socio-local practices differ to those of their Jordanian neighbours and it is not uncommon for
girls to marry and bear children at a very young age, while educating girls is still uncommon.
The harshness and isolation of the life of some Syrian refugee women is not fully realized or
adequately documented. This paper is an ethnographic exploration of the real desires and
needs of these Syrian refugee women. Looking into their life stories and narratives and their
extraordinary journey of arriving in new surroundings and adapting to a new daily life. We
hope this will contribute to the rethinking of the place of women refugees in Jordanian society
and offer new anthropological perspectives on the impact the challenging socio-cultural
environments of Irbid – Jordan is having on them and their children. This paper asks if the
needs of the refugees can be met in Irbid? What is the role of Jordanian authorities and
international agencies in supporting Syrian women (inside and outside the camps)? Are the
voices of the Syrian women are being heard?

Locating the Study

The UNHCR estimate that by the end of 2014 there will be over 4 million Syrians seeking
refuge in the neighbouring countries of Jordan, Lebanon, Turkey and Iraq and Egypt making
this “one of the largest refugee crises in recent history” 1. Jordan currently hosts nearly a
quarter of these refugees2, mostly in non-camp environments3 in the poorer Northern
1
UNHCR, “2014 Syria Regional Response Plan,” December 16, 2013. Accessed February 21st, 2014,
http://www.unhcr.org/syriarrp6/docs/Syria-rrp6-full-report.pdf
2
Numbers of Syrian refugees in Jordan was 576,420 on Feb 23rd 2013 of a total of 2,499,323 in the region. on Feb 23rd 2013 updated daily
on https://data.unhcr.org/syrianrefugees/regional.php
3
The UNHCR estimated in the above report in December 2013 that the number of refugees living in non-camp settings in Jordan would rise
from 81% to 84% by the beginning of 2014

1
Governates of Irbid and Mafraq. Over 80% of these refugees are women and children. 4 With
the high numbers of refugees entering Jordan on a daily basis 5, the international agencies
initially focussed their efforts on the complex challenges of providing emergency relief 6. Two
years into the crisis, however, in July 2013, it became increasingly clear that new
‘comprehensive and proactive strategies’ were required to ‘focus on more extensive and
effective outreach to out-of-camp refugees’7. The majority of the Syrians in Jordan had been
‘voting with their feet’ (Ferguson, 2007), resorting to often extreme measures to be able to
leave the Refugee Camps and settle in the nearby towns and villages, some even preferring to
return to Syria than remain in the camps 8. In the 8 months between April and December
2013, thousands of refugees continued to enter Jordan each week, however, the population of
Za’atari, the largest refugee camp in Jordan dropped by 40%9. Although much effort has gone
into ensuring the needs of the vulnerable population of the camps are protected, there are now
concerns that the hundreds of thousands of women and children who have left the camps are
at greater risk of a series of threats including “recruitment by armed groups, including of
under-aged refugees; labour exploitation, including child labour; early marriage; as well as
domestic, sexual and gender-based violence”. 10 A Harvard Field Study11 published in January
2014 argues that without ‘innovative and creative programmatic responses’, the presence of
such large number of refugees living outside the camps in Northern Jordan could increase the
4
Figure provided by UNHCR Protection chief Volker Turk at a conference in London in December 2013 http://www.unhcr.org.uk/news-
and-views/news-list/news-detail/article/unhcrs-protection-chief-sees-key-role-in-future-for-syrian-refugee-women.html (accessed Fe 21
2014)
5
In October 2013 it was estimated that 6,000 Syrians were fleeing the country every day. See http://www.mercycorps.org/articles/iraq-
jordan-lebanon-syria/quick-facts-what-you-need-know-about-syrian-refugee-crisis accessed 24 Feb 2013
6
The first anti-government demonstrations were in the city of Daraa in March 2011. By July this had spread into armed conflict and Syrians
began to seek refuge in neighbouring countries soon after.
7
See: PDES/2013/13 July 2013 “From slow boil to breaking point: A real-time evaluation of UNHCR’s response to the Syrianrefugee
emergency” http://www.alnap.org/resource/8848 where it was deemed ‘essential’ that ‘UNHCR national and international staff, as well as
partners, are regularly present in communities, working with them to address the challenges they face’

8
In August 2013, in a meeting between the UNHCR and the governer of Daraa Mohammad Khaled al-Hannous, it was stated that nearly
2800 family had already returned to Daraa from al-Za'atari camp in Jordan. See
https://www.facebook.com/SyrianArabNewsAgencySana/posts/610067082349156
9
Figures provided by the Harvard Field Sudy group 2014. Calculated from data available on UNHCR’s Syria Regional Response Inter-
agency Information Sharing Portal. Population flow examined from April 23, 2013 to December 31, 2013, representing the difference
between Zaatari camp’s peak population to the end of the calendar year. Data available at: http://data.unhcr.org/syrianrefugees/country.php?
id=107.

10
See: PDES/2013/13 July 2013 “From slow boil to breaking point: A real-time evaluation of UNHCR’s response to the Syrianrefugee
emergency” where the UNHCR’s Policy Development and Evaluation Service (PDES) recommend “Quick Impact Projects” be designed to
“provide immediate and tangible benefits to those living in refugee-populated areas”. Such projects, it states, “should be accompanied by an
effective communications strategy, so as to ensure that their purposes are well understood and that messages of solidarity and community
cohesion are conveyed to refugees and host populations alike”.

11
Humanitarian Policy and Conflict Research (HPCR) Harvard Field Study Group, January 2014, Jordan Non-Paper on the International
Response to the Syrian Refugee Crisis See: http://hpcrresearch.org/publications/other-publications

2
instability in the region. We conducted a series of interviews with women refugees who have
been living outside the camps in and around the Northern city of Irbid in an effort to gage the
sentiments on the ground of both the urban and rural refugee out-of-camp population. Many
had shared experiences and concerns. Their journeys followed similar paths, from the
individually unique yet sadly commonplace traumas each suffered in Syria, through often
unwelcoming border-posts to alienating camps in Jordan and then all left the relative security
of the camps making different sacrifices in order to regain some sense of autonomy and
independence. Despite difficult relationships with their Jordanian neighbours, all were
adamant camp life was not for them. Nevertheless, the perceived challenges and restricted
movement of the camps had been replaced in most instances with self-imposed incarceration,
with the majority of the women we spoke to rarely leaving their scantily furnished, often dark
and inhospitable two room homes. Their continued life as refugees was clearly having its toll
on all the women we met, who seemed to be losing any sense of hope as their days, weeks,
and in many cases years continued to drag on in isolation and sadness. In this paper we will
present the challenges and concerns expressed by the women and children in these interviews
and argue that the protection issues that concern all those working with the women refugees
in Jordan could and should be approached in parallel with culturally sensitive initiatives that
work to combat this clearly pervading self-imprisonment and isolation.

Horan, the Shared Memory: A Regional Context to the Regional (Forced) Migration.

The majority of the Syrian refugees entering Northern Jordan are from the city of Dera’a, the
largest city of the southern Horan plain, and only 20 miles from Jordanians second largest
city, Irbid. This city in the Sunni-majority agricultural region is where the Assad regime
decided to use lethal force in 2011 in an effort to contain some of the first demonstrations of
the conflict. The protestors destroyed government buildings in the town of Dera’a resulting in
an aggressive government response that left 15 protestors dead and many more injured. The
‘decisive response’ (Holliday, 2011:6) sent shockwaves throughout Syria, and the start of the
mass exodus to safer neighbours in the region. Prior to the crisis trade, marriage and
movement between the two populations was commonplace. Dera’a is part of the Horan
region, one of the most fertile regions in Syria with farming and herding as the main sources
of income. It is made up of three Syrian provinces, Dera’a, Sweida and Quneitra and also the
Al Ramtha district in Jordan. Historically the Horan region constituted one entity and one
territory, however, when French colonization of Syria and the British mandate of Jordan came

3
to an end in the 1940’s this region was divided between the two countries. Despite the
geographical similarities and the shared Arab identity between the Jordanians and Syrians on
either side of the border, political and socio-economic differences however make the two
peoples in many ways dissimilar. The traditional societies scattered throughout the Horan
region in Syria are made up of large extended families, where everybody knows everybody
else. Social cohesion, strong ties to family and community and a strong sense of belonging to
their communities have all prevailed, while the levels of education amongst both the men and
the women are lower than that of their Jordanian counterparts. (Davis and Tylor, 2013:4) 12
Religion plays a significant role in the life of these communities, which, for the majority of
the women of Dera’a, means strict adherence to the codes of the Koran such as keeping away
from the gaze of non-family members, not leaving the house unless accompanied by a male
family member, and, relevant to this study of the isolation of the refugees in Irbid, not
partaking in any group social or musical activities unless within a religious context. Offering
hospitality to those in need however is another important element of Islamic practise. Before
the political and civil turmoil, a large percentage of the population of Dera’a were Palestinian
refugees13. As one of the homes of the opposition since the start of the crisis, the families of
Dera’a are also known for sheltering many of the rebels and their families and suffering the
brutal consequences. As a result of the deep historic bonds between Syrians and Jordanians
many Syrians moved to Jordan to stay with relatives when the conflict first began, not
considering themselves “refugees”. The tradition of on-going hospitability is now becoming a
challenge in and round Irbid however. Identified as a ‘poverty pocket’ by the UNHCR at the
start of Syrian crisis, the pressures on schools, hospitals, the police and the fragile job market
has brought about increasing tensions between the Jordanian and Syrian populations in and
around the city. With an already straining infrastructure, with shortages of water, electricity,
housing, schooling and healthcare, the directorates of Irbid Al Ramtha, Tura, Shajara, and
Emrawa are now struggling under the increasing pressures of the massive influx of over a half
a million refugees, increasing the population of Irbid alone by over 10%14. Rents have
increased tenfold in Irbid since the beginning of the crisis15, and when a survey was conducted
12
See: Davis, Rochelle, and Abbie Taylor. "Syrian Refugees in Jordan and Lebanon: A Snapshot from Summer 2013." Who assert that
Syrian refugees “are used to being self-sufficient, have strong connections to family and community, have lower levels of education, and
likely have much less experience with bureaucratic measures”.
13
From United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East (UNRWA) – who state that in 2011, of Dara’as
population of about 1.5 million, 420,000 were Palastinian refugees See more at:
http://unispal.un.org/UNISPAL.NSF/0/61E32D1640DB030B85257C04005FA998#sthash.JMrl6fiU.dpuf

14
See: PDES/2013/13 July 2013 “From slow boil to breaking point: A real-time evaluation of UNHCR’s response to the Syrianrefugee
emergency”
15
MercyCorps, “Mapping of Host Community-Refugee Tensions in Mafraq and Ramtha, Jordan,” May 2013, 9.

4
not much more than a year into the crisis, 80% of Jordanians were found to favour the
segregation of Syrian Refugees in camps 16. This percentage is thought to have increased
markedly since then. As the likelihood of a quick solution to the conflict and subsequent
return of the refugees becomes increasingly unlikely, the regional and historic ties that unify
the Syrians and Jordanians are making way for points of potential friction between the two
communities and some of the cultural and social differences are becoming more heightened.

The Reciprocal Approach of Critical Ethnography from Both Insider and Outsider.
Throughout this study our ethnographic approach follows Abu Lughod’s example of writing
critical ethnographies that go ‘against the grain of global inequalities’ whilst remaining
‘modest’ in claims to radicalism and ‘realistic’ about the impacts of these ethnographies”
(Abu-Lughod, 2000:265-266). This is characterised by a practise whereby we contextualise
the data we gather within both an objective analytical approach and a more subjective
empathetic interpretation of the human experiences shared with us, the meanings associated
with certain behaviours, fact and feelings that are attached to these realities. The ethnographic
approach was as such not as much concerned with presenting a single story or description of
specific settings as much as it was about how people make sense of their own worlds. The
partnership between the two researchers, two social and visual anthropologists from very
different backgrounds was an essential element in the methodology behind this research 17. By
entering the world of the refugees as both insider and outsider we were able to avoid some of
the inherent and well-documented pitfalls of presenting exclusively insider or outsider
perspectives, where the observations of the anthropologist answer to his or her own
‘experience of habitation’ (Ingold, 2008:87-88). Through the outside/inside perspective of this
partnership we were able to draw on our different perspectives and multilayered observations,
analysis and evaluations. In the discourse around the indigenous or non-indigenous position in
the field, it has been said that foreign and local scholars have the ability to allocate their roles
in a way that enables both to gather valuable information according to their position.
Moreover, due to their ‘complementary potentialities’ it was concluded by Fahim et al
(1980:649), that “collaborative research between foreign and indigenous researcher was both
a remedy and an exciting possibility with the condition that this collaboration be on

16
Nicholas Seeley, “Most Jordanians Say No More Syrian Refugees,” Christian Science Monitor, October 1, 2012, accessed Feb 21 st 2014.

17
Dr Ruba Al Akash, a local anthropologist with a strong connection to the history and people of this border region. Karen Boswall,
journalist and film-maker with experience in Africa, Asia, North and South America and the Middle East. (See: www.karenboswall.com)

5
egalitarian and reciprocal term”. In this partnership of two women with common objectives
and passions, we have drawn on the strengths of each to apply both deep cultural
understanding and empathy and objective enquiry in this research.
Listening to the voices and the silence
Over a period of five months, we spent time with 15 extended families in Irbid and the
surrounding villages, and worked with one focus group of about twenty women who live on
the same corridor of an office building in the centre of Irbid that had been converted into
refugee accommodation in 2012 and houses approximately 70 families. Through a
combination of conversations, group interviews and careful observations of the often-
inexpressible realities, sometimes transmitted through silence, body language and often tears,
we began to build a picture of both the spoken and unspoken fears and dreams of these
women. Silence can reflect disempowerment. It can also be a part of what Parpart and Kabeer
refer to as “innovative strategies for survival in dangerous circumstances” (Parpart et al
2010:8). In her article on Speech, Gender and Power, Cecile Jackson argues that the challenge
for researchers and development practitioners is to improve their ability to listen and hear 18.
Silences, she argues, ‘can be resistant and expressive’ while speech can be associated with ‘a
loss of agency’ (Jackson, 2012:1020). Throughout this study our theoretical standpoint was
to create an atmosphere of trust where the women could feel comfortable to speak and voice
their experiences. Where there was silence, we ‘listened’. We took notes about the physical
and emotional environment we encountered and, where appropriate19 made audio recordings
and / or video recordings of the interviews in order to capture the detailed nuances of the
exchange for future reflection. Aware of the risk described by Omidian as the ‘emotional
bombardment’ of working with refugees, where the researcher can feel acutely ‘the losses,
deaths and seemingly endless struggle to cope with life” (Omidian, 2000:172), we allowed
time for processing our experiences between visits.

Selecting the Families for the Research

It was important to us as independent researchers that our access to the families was also as
independent as possible. We therefore chose to avoid the temptation of seeking the support or

18
See: Cecile Jackson Speech, Gender and Power: Beyond Testimony Development and Change, 2012, vol. 43, issue 5, pages 999-1023

19
There is an ongoing debate about the ethics of documenting ‘reality’ through both still and moving image, where questions of
representation and interpretation of the photographer or videographer are continually addressed and reassessed. There is not space to go into
this debate in this paper, but with both researchers experienced visual anthropologists actively engaged in this debate, ethical considerations
of privacy, representation and ownership of identity were explained to the participants in the study and consequently the majority decided
against being filmed or photographed, some also preferring not to have their voices recorded.

6
logistical involvement of those already working with the refugees as that may have had an
impact on the way we were received and the nature of the information shared with us. If we
were able to avoid any association with religious or political organisations, NGO’s or national
or international development agencies, we believed our relationship with the families would
have more chance of being recognised as purely for the purposes of research, with no
anticipated or perceived hidden political, social or financial agenda. We decided to contact the
owners of the buildings known to have a high percentage of refugees as their tenants and the
introductions were made through the caretakers, who had already developed a relationship of
trust with the refugees. We selected two distinct localities where refugees were living in large
numbers outside of the camp setting, one in the city of Irbid and the other in the rural village
of Tura 16 miles from Irbid and less than 1 mile from the Syrian border. We interviewed most
families in their homes, or in the case of the group, in the home of one of the community
members20. In order to gage a broader sense of the realities of larger number of refugees, we
also spoke to individuals in public areas of Irbid where refugees gathered for urban registration
and collection of food and coupons. Our individual family interviews lasted an average of two
hours, with the group discussion lasting four. The subject matter of each interview varied
slightly depending on the context of each encounter. Common themes were the journey from
Syria to Jordan, initial impressions upon arrival and how this has changed over time, and
descriptions of both day-to-day activities and significant events since their arrival. This
included questions on their connections and interactions with members of both the non-refugee
and the refugee communities. Information and data has also been collected through interviews
with representatives of both the Jordanian government and humanitarian aid agencies and
supported by published and online sources. In accordance with those who believe too precise
an application of method “interrupts his proper studies” (Mills, 1959:215, as cited in Ingold
2008) we avoided using a fixed set of questions or following one particular approach with all
the refugees we interviewed. Keeping a flexible and intuitive response to the line of
questioning, we were able to pose new questions and so discover new realities and respond to
them as they became apparent. One research method that evolved for example was that of
creating a group discussion. Upon arriving at the converted offices in downtown Irbid, a key
figure in the community called Om Taim quickly presented herself. We followed her
20
Many of the families living in Irbid were renting rooms in apartment blocks inhabited largely by refugees, yet in most cases there was no
sense of community between the families, each remaining isolated, almost self-incarcerated in their small private spaces. One exception was
a converted office block off Cinema Street in downtown Irbid where each two-room apartment was separated from the central corridor by a
curtain and the corridor itself became a communal space where children played. Here the women all knew one another and had informally
chosen one member of the community to represent and help them in matters they were struggling with. It was in this building that we
decided to conduct a group interview with a focus group. This was conducted in the home of Om Taim, the informal representative of the
group.

7
suggestion of returning to the building in the evening, allowing her time to gather a group of
women who agreed to share their experiences with us as a group. This gave them agency to
choose whether to attend or not. Once together, we spent some time getting to know one
another and being introduced to the children before introducing a musical ice-breaker 21.
Following much laughter and discovery of common musical themes, the women were more
comfortable participating in open debate and conversation. Another effective research method
was used when interviewing some of the younger girls. It was noticed in initial interviews that
the young girls were shy to speak about their experiences, in particular in relation to the theme
of early marriages. We assumed our age had some bearing in this and decided to invite an
eighteen year old22 to participate in the conversations with the younger girls. It was very
successful method. All interviews with the refugees were conducted in Arabic and where
possible audio recordings were made to facilitate future translation as well as to enable the
researchers to fully engage with the interviewees rather than taking notes. Where the families
were uncomfortable with being recorded handwritten notes were made during or immediately
after the interview. During this early phase of research, none of the women interviewed were
comfortable with being filmed, although they were happy for their children and their
environment to be visually documented. In a second phase of this research, a smaller number
of the women with whom we have developed a trusting relationship have agreed to participate
in the filming of a documentary.
Findings from the Research
There were a number of similarities between the experiences and preoccupations shared by
the families and in particular the women we interviewed. The events prior to leaving Syria,
and the experiences in the refugee camps, the relationships with their Jordanian neighbours,
and their living conditions were difficult and traumatic for all those we interviewed, as was
the level of isolation and the sadness all the women carried. Many of those we interviewed
described spending hours of each day in tears. There is not space in this paper to tell the
stories of all the women we interviewed during this research, however we will address some
of the common themes and draw on the words of the women and girls to illustrate these
experiences.

21
Karen Boswall, played tunes on the clarinet, first to the children and then the adults. This opened the way for
sharing and learning one another’s tunes. Being an ‘outsider’ may have facilitated this exchange, as the cultural
codes around women and music were less applicable to the non-Muslim foreigner.
22
The daughter of Ruba Akash, was given elementary training in interview technique and accompanied her mother to a number of
interviews.

8
Traumatic Departures

The decision to leave Syria was the result of an extremely traumatic experience for each of
the families we have been working with. Setting out for the unknown was generally only
undertaken after an event catalysed a need to protect family members from death, rape, or
imprisonment and torture.

Om Abdullah23 for example, fled when the brutalised body of her husband was delivered to
her family home. We met this 25-year-old widow in a small dark apartment in Irbid clutching
at the well-worn photograph of her husbands brutalized body. He had been participating in
anti-government protests in Dera’a when he was arrested. For a month she was unaware of his
whereabouts until his body was eventually returned. Her brother took the photographs in the
hope they could be used in a case against the government. This has not been possible. In
stead, Om Abdullah carries the laminated photographs in her handbag and throughout the
interview stared at them from time to time in disbelief. Fearing her 19-year-old brother would
share the same fate; her parents encouraged them to flee to Jordan with her three year-old son
and 6-year-old sister.

In the same building another family of refugees were still waiting for news of their son who
was arrested many months ago. We found his mother Om Mohammed in tears when we
arrived, beside herself with worry as to what has happened to him. She left Dara’a with her
other two sons and her three daughters aged 8, 17 and 20, making the difficult decision to try
to protect her remaining children and leave her husband behind in Syria to continue searching
for Mohammed.

Some families had left Dera’a after loosing their homes in the bombardments of their city.
Om Adel, for example left her town of Daal when the upper story of her home was reduced to
rubble during a bombing raid. She recalls the time she spent searching for her family under
the rubble. They were the hardest in her life. Fortunately all her family survived and she
immediately left, barefoot, for the Jordanian border, taking her five children, daughter in law,
and travelling with ten other members of her extended family while her husband stayed to
look after the remainder of the house.

23
The names of the people interviewed have been changed to preserve their identity.

9
The journeys each of the families made to the border were dangerous and uncertain. Om Ali,
a young mother of a three year old, joined a group of ten others to escape the bombing in her
town.
“We walked for two hours in the middle of the night inside Syria to
get to Jordan. The Syrian troops were shooting at us but somehow
we managed to escape to the Jordanian border.” (from interview with
Om Ali November 2013)

The Choice to Leave the Camps

Over 80% of the Syrian refugees living in Jordan have settled outside of the refugee camps. 24
The majority of these were taken by the Jordanian military from the border to the largest
camp, Al Za’atari, which is close to the border and 27 miles from the city of Irbid. There, with
some of the last remaining money or possessions most bought their way out of the camp.

Some families we interviewed were smuggled out of Al Za’atari, some were provided with
the necessary documents that enabled them to leave officially. 25 Om Adel arrived in Zatari
from Daal, two years ago in a family group of seventeen people.

“They gave us cards in Za’atari to get tents and food we gave these cards as
money to the person who took us outside.” (from interview with Om Adel
January 2014)

The difficulties described by the interviewees that motivated them to leave the camps ranged
from physical discomfort, especially those arriving in the winter months, to psychological and
emotional stress, not least for fear of the safety of their daughters.

Om Omar, who lives now with nine family members in a small apartment in Irbid, arrived in
Za’atari in the winter of 2012 and stayed only two days before deciding to leave.
“We got out of Al Za’atari because it was snowing and our tents were destroyed,
and then we walked in the mud because for one hour and half to get to Irbid.”
24
See: UNHCR, “2014 Syria Regional Response Plan,” December 16, 2013. Accessed February 21st, 2014,
http://www.unhcr.org/syriarrp6/docs/Syria-rrp6-full-report.pdf where it was estimated that the number of refugees living in non-camp
settings in Jordan would rise from 81% to 84% by the beginning of 2014
25
The Jordanian Government require that each refugee living outside the camp has a Jordanian guarantor. A lucrative business has
developed around the camps to provide these guarantors for a sum. The sum varies but it was often quoted at around 200 Jordanian Dinar
(approx. £175) per person.

10
 (from interview with Om Omar January 2014)

Life for Om Omar outside the camp was more difficult than she expected. Returning to
the camp, although permissible by the Jordanian authorities26, is not seen as an option.

“Our life is a tragedy. Inside or outside the camps we are all living in a misery.
My ex-neighbour lives in Al Za’atari. Her daughter is 11 years old and got
married last month because she is worried about her from rape”. (Om Omar)

Many of those we interviewed talked of the perceived risk of rape of their younger daughters.
It is difficult to know if this fear is founded on experience and none of those we spoke to were
able or prepared to cite any particular cases of rape. Official statistics are also unlikely to be
representative for a number of reasons, not least due to the general mistrust the Syrians have
for authority figures. In November 2013, the Jordanian police working in Za’atari, for
example, had only one recorded rape case on file in Za’atari since the camp opened 27. The
perceived threat continues to pervade the camp however, and with virginity so important to
unmarried girls, many of our interviewees felt their daughters were safer outside the camp,
where toilet and cooking facilities were not some distance from the family tent or caravan and
not shared with strangers 28.

For many of the families interviewed, the marriage of a young daughter was seen as a solution
to a number of difficulties, many believing it will save her the risk of loosing her virginity
through rape before marriage and making it more difficult for her to find a husband.
“I can’t stand to see my daughter raped in front of my eyes if I want to get back to
Syria, I can’t live with this shame” (Interview with Abu Nour, January 2014)

Marrying a daughter also relieves the family of the responsibility of supporting her and in
some instances it also brought in additional financial benefits. In the case of the marriage of
Om Hassan’s 16 year old daughter Nour, it meant an exit pass from Al Za’atari for her entire
family.

26
Information provided in recorded interview with Brigadeer Abu Shehab, director of the police department working with the refugees
inside Za’atari and in the neighbouring communities.
27
Figure provided by Brigadeer Waddah M. Hmoud, director of The Syrian Refugees Camps Affairs Department (SCRD) during an
interview in November 2013
28
For a full UNHCR report on Gender based violence among Syrian refugees, see “Gender based violence and child-protection among
Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on Early Marriage” published by UNWOMEN in 2013

11
 “When we were in Al Za’atari we were so depressed and unhappy. My family
were starving and we lived 11 persons in one tent. A Syrian woman visited us so
many times. After three visits she told my mother that there is a Saudi groom for
your daughter. At the beginning I refused, but later I thought that this man would
save the whole family. He promised to take us out of the camp and give us a lot of
money. I married him and he took us all out of the camp to this home where we
live now.” (from interview with Nour, January 2014)

Nour and her family now live in Tura, a small village outside of Za’atari. The man she
married was 32 years old. After two months of marriage, he left for Saudi Arabia and has not
returned.

“Two months later he told me he was going to Saudi Arabia to get the required
papers for me to be able to go to Saudi Arabia. I spoke to him several times but
later his phone did not work. Now, I don't know where is he. He dumped me.”
(Nour, 2014)

Being an abandoned wife brings shame to the family. Nour looked too young to have this
burden. She is not pregnant, but unlike her younger siblings, she does not attend the local
school because she is ashamed of her situation. She is unable to trace her husband as she had
no address or other contact details.

Child Labour and Underage Marriage.

Syrian refugees living outside the camps are not entitled to work. Religious organisations,
NGO’s and governmental agencies provide food, support and occasionally cash to those that
are registered with them. Nevertheless most of the refugees living outside the camps struggle
to survive. A number of solutions are found to generate additional income, including
accepting extremely low wages for illegal work. A number of the men in the families we
visited were in hiding from the Jordanian police and nervous to look for work again for fear
of deportation back to Syria. This level of poverty has resulted not only in increased levels of
underage marriages for the girls29 but also increased instances of child labour, largely carried
out by the boys30. We found cases of both in many of the families we interviewed.

29
“Gender based violence and child-protection among Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on Early Marriage” published by
UNWOMEN in 2013 states that “While there is no conclusive evidence that Syrian refugees are marrying early at a higher rate in Jordan
than in Syria, this study notes that the sense of economic and physical insecurity that, among other factors, drive early marriage is amplified
in displacement.”

30
In 47% of refugee households that reported paid employment, a child is contributing to the household’s income, and 15% reported child
labor as the primary source (85% of reported child laborers were boys). Statistics from “Gender based violence and child-protection among
Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on Early Marriage” published by UNWOMEN in 2013

12
Areen, for example, was married to a 39 year old man from the United Aram Emirates (UAE)
when she was 14. She went with her new husband to Dubai for one month before he divorced
her and sent her back to Jordan. She was very unhappy, regularly beaten and bullied by the
husband’s three other wives.

We came across a number of cases of temporary marriage during the research, and a number
of girls such as Areen, Nesreen and Nour who had been abandoned. These young girls are not
officially divorced and so unable to marry again.

For the girls who remain in the marriage, the challenges are no less overwhelming. On our
visit to their home in Irbid, Om Omar was preparing her 15 year old daughter Majed for
marriage with tales of her own marriage when she was even younger than her daughter. The
wedding imminent and Majed knew very little of her future husband. He was 19 and lived in
the same building. He saw her one day and proposed the union to her family. “I am marrying
next week” she told us “but I feel I’m not in a position of responsibility. I am aware of how to
treat my husband how I am going to be pregnant and raise children but I am afraid I can’t
cook.” (From interview with Majed, January 2014) Om Omar explained to us, rather
apologetically, how, with nine people in their two roomed apartment, including her 19 year
old son and his 16 year old wife, and rent just increased to 270 JD’s (£230.00) a month, it was
necessary for her young daughter to marry and be fed by her husband’s family. When 21 year
Adel found a job in an electronic shop he soon found a 16-year-old wife. His mother told us
“Her parents told us that if you want to take our daughter as your son’s wife we
don’t mind because we don’t have enough money to feed her. We have this
tradition in Dera’a. Even my daughters, if a good man proposes to them, I would
not mind them marrying at this early age. Girls are a big responsibility. A family
with a lot of girls is paralysed. The girls life is bitter, from the beginning of life to
the death.” (From Interview with Om Adel, January 2014)

Alone and Surrounded by People

One of the most profoundly disturbing aspects of visiting the Syrian families living outside of
the camps is the extreme isolation experienced by most of the women and girls. A deep
mistrust of both their Jordanian and Syrian neighbours, coupled with codes of modesty and
inter family dependency has exacerbated this phenomenon where thousands of Syrian women
and girls spend their days closed away in their small rooms rarely if ever leaving the building.
In a study of the Syrian refugees living outside the camps in Jordan conducted by UN Women

13
in 201331 it was found that over 20% of girls under the age of 16 and nearly 19% of women
never leave their homes and nearly 50% of both women and girls very rarely left the home.
Even where families live on the same floor of apartment buildings, it is unusual for them to
spend time together or even to communicate with one another. Om Omar, a 32-year-old single
mother lives with her eleven children in a two-room apartment in Irbid. She doesn’t know her
neighbours.

“We don’t gather with anybody in this building, not even the Syrian people. We
don’t want trouble. It is more comfortable to be alone, we say ‘with no eyes to see
and no hearts to be sad’. In Dera’a the whole village was one family, but here I
am living alone with fear. (From an interview with Om Omar, January 2014)

Om Omar’s new 16-year-old daughter-in-law recently moved in with the family. She tried to
settle in a village outside of Irbid with her new husband as it was cheaper. But she was so
lonely she returned.

“I was struggling. It was like I was in prison there. I did not know anybody and I
couldn’t go outside. I told my husband I want to live with your mother because I
am worried if I get killed here no one will know. Now, here in Irbid I’m living the
worst days of my life. I’m in agony. If I knew it would guarantee my death, I
would commit suicide by throwing myself off this balcony” (from Interview with
Aba, Om Omar’s daughter in law. January 2014)

Many of the women and girls we spoke to referred to their homes as a prison. They also
lamented the fact that they had so little to do. Fatima is the 15-year-old daughter of Om
Mohammed whose brother is missing following his arrest many months ago.

“We are bored here. There is nothing to do. We are not allowed to go to school,
we are not allowed to go out, we are not allowed to mix with other people because
we are girls. Death is better than this life. If we ask for anything the answer is we
can get it when we go back to Syria. Our day begins with working with our
mother and then cleaning. After that we watch TV, cry for a while after watching
the news and then sleep. This is our daily routine”. (From Interview with Fatima,
The daughter of Om Mohammed November, 2013)

Fatima’s mother suggested she read the Quran to get over her boredom. It makes you feel
better and comforts all your pains she told us. In fact, reading the Quran was the only activity
we heard suggested by any of the women we interviewed as an acceptable way to seek
31
Data from the 2013 study published in“Gender based violence and child-protection among Syrian refugees in Jordan with a focus on
Early Marriage” (UNWOMEN in 2013) pp 22,23

14
comfort from the hardships of refugee life. Other communal activities that have been
introduced in refugee communities around the world, such as using creative processes to
process their traumas, making music, forming groups and societies, studying, are not
somehow considered appropriate, when so many people are still suffering. It was as if the
women carried the burden of sadness as a responsibility not to take lightly. It was their duty as
Syrian women to connect through their tears with those who are suffering and loosing their
lives. They may be away from the dangers risked by their family members in Syria, but they
mustn’t enjoy it. Activities with the potential to bring relief from the sadness were not
considered appropriate by any of the women we spoke to. And so, the daily routine of crying,
either alone or in groups was a surprisingly common regular activity among all the women we
interviewed.
“We don’t live a normal life. We are not happy. A lot of people from my family
got killed in Syria, so how we can live a normal life? We live with sadness. We
lost happiness, there is no space for it.” (From an Interview with Nadia recorded
in November 2013)

Om Omar, who is living with her eleven children and her daughter-in-law manages to speak
to her mother and father who live in Syria every day. “I have a daily programme of crying for
at least two hours a day” she told us. “I call my parents and when I hear the news from Syria I
cry blood”. (From Interview with Om Omar recorded in January 2014)

For many of the families we spoke to, the possibility of returning to Syria whether there was a
risk of being killed or not was very real. Some families returned during the period we
conducted our interviews, many others were seriously considering it. In 2013 the Governor of
Dera’a Mohammad Khaled al-Hannous began to send invitations to all the refugees in the
neighbouring countries to return home. By August 2013 the Syrian Arab News Agency
announced that 2,800 families had returned to Dera’a from Al Za’atari refugee camp 32. The
refugees we met seemed exhausted and drained by their life as refugees. Many had been in
Jordan for over a year and are loosing hope in any resolution being found to the conflict. They
fear their future inside Jordan and outside and many expressed their sense that no-one was
listening. “Syrians are not humans here in Jordan.” Noor’s father told us “They are goods or
products. We have been sold by everybody. Even Bashar sold us. We pay to get out of Syria,
then we pay to get out of the camp, and we pay to send our children to the near by schools, I

32
See: https://www.facebook.com/SyrianArabNewsAgencySana/posts/610067082349156

15
pay 20 JDs to a bus to take my children to school, if they walk in the street they will be
beaten. What life is this?” (From Interview with Abu Noor, January 2014).

Conclusion
It is devastating to become a refugee; being displaced from your country, your culture, your
home, your family. The Refugee status of being unknown, undesired, and displaced raises
significant questions on hidden and fundamental aspects of human life. The experience of the
women we spoke to during the fieldwork conducted over the past four months has led us to
believe that there is more that can be done for these refugees living outside of the camps in
and around Irbid. Through offering culturally appropriate communal activities that girls and
women from extended families can do together, either in larger groups or in their own homes
would give them relief from the hopelessness and the isolation. The silent voices must be
heard.

In this ethnography we have analysed the current life of Syrian refugee women and their
burden of leaving and resettling in new places. People’s stories and narratives and their
expression of the experiences that have shaped their day-to-day lives however form the
backbone of this study. By airing reflections on the fear, suffering and sadness of some Syrian
refugee women living outside the camps in and around Irbid, this paper highlights the
complex and multilayered nature of refugee experience. The narratives and life stories set out
in this paper are incomplete and in progress. They provide insight into some of the
experiences of those refugees who are suffering the consequences of the current conflict in
Syria and whose peaceful lives and livelihoods have been disrupted. Through listening to the
Syrian refugee voices in Irbid-Jordan we have been able to highlight some of the needs of
those living in the hostile and unfamiliar reality of life as a refugee, with memories of a
harrowing past, unable to create new life, while waiting for their homes to be safe enough for
them to return.

16
References

Abu-Lughod, Lila. “Locating Ethnography.” Ethnography. (2000) 1 (2): 261-267.

Bjawi-Levine, Laure. "My heart is Palestinian, my passport is Jordanian." on Children in

Migratory Circumstances (2013): 25.

Bjawi-Levine, L. (2009). Paying the Price of War: Narratives of Trauma of Iraqi Asylum
Seekers and Refugees in Jordan. Anthropology of the Middle East, 4(2), 75-83.
Chatty, D. (2010). The Iraqi Refugees: The New Crisis in the Middle East. By Joseph
Sassoon. Journal of Refugee Studies, 23(1), 102-103.

Chatty, D., Crivello, G., & Hundt, G. L. (2005). Theoretical and methodological challenges of
studying refugee children in the Middle East and North Africa: young Palestinian, Afghan and
Sahrawi refugees. Journal of Refugee Studies, 18(4), 387-409.
Davis, R., & Taylor, A. Syrian Refugees in Jordan and Lebanon: A Snapshot from Summer
2013.
Fahim, Hussiein. And Helmer Katherine. (1980) Indigenous Anthropology in Non-Western
Countries: A Further Elaboration. Current Anthropology, Vol. 21, No. 5, pp. 644-663
Ferguson, M., Ali, K., Olfert, M., & Partridge, M. (2007). Voting with their feet: jobs versus
amenities. Growth and Change, 38(1), 77-110.
Holliday, J. (2011). The struggle for Syria in 2011. Institute for the Study of War, 16.
Available at: http://www.understandingwar.org/sites/default/files/Struggle_For_Syria.pdf.
Ingold, T. (2008) ’Anthropology is not ethnography’, Proceedings of the British Academy,
154: 69-92.

Jackson, C. (2012). Speech, gender and power: Beyond testimony. Development and Change,
43(5), 999-1023.

Nicholas, Seeley, “Most Jordanians Say No More Syrian Refugees,” Christian Science
Monitor, October 1, 2012, accessed Feb 21st 2014. http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Middle-
East/2012/1001/Most-Jordanians-say-no-to-more-Syrian-refugees.
Omidian, P. A. 2000, Life out of context: Recording Afghan Refugees’ Stories in F. Ahearn,
Psychosocial Wellness of Refugees, Oxford: Berg Press.
Parpart, J. (2010) ‘Choosing Silence: Rethinking Voice, Agency and Women’s
Empowerment’. Working Paper 297. Gender Development and Globalization Program,
Center for Gender in Global Context. East Lansing, MI, Michigan State University.
Shami, S. (1996). Transnationalism and refugee studies: Rethinking forced migration and
identity in the Middle East. Journal of Refugee Studies, 9(1), 3-26.

17