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("Title of Episode")

by
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 BONE CRAFT

Written by

Hod, Halladay, and JB

INT: SPACESHIP - NIGHT

A group of rowdy space wranglers are gathered around the

command deck drinking excessively. They hoop and holler
cheering on their captain, CAPTAIN FORT WORTH, a gruff,
obnoxious, overly confident, hard assed, arrogant, proud, son
of a bitch who is chugging a bottle of lighter fluid.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(A GUTTURAL BURP) And that my boys,
is how it’s done.

They all cheer, drunkenly falling all over each other.

LUBBOCK
How can you do that captain?

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

It’s like tonguing a bitch. Turn
that sweet thing upside down.
Tenderly stick your tongue in her
but just enough so’s that you don’t
stop them juices flowing. Let it
flow down your gullet like a
babbling brook.
LUBBOCK STARTS DOING HIS PUSSY DANCE. WE CAN SEE BY THE
OTHERS THAT HE HAS DONE THIS MANY TIMES BEFORE.

LUBBOCK
(DANCING AND CHANTING) Pussy,
pussy, pussy, pussy, oh yea, pussy,
pussy, pussy, I can smell it. I can
taste it and dog-gone-it I will eat
it. Pussy, pussy pussy pussy.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

God Damn boy, if you only knew-
I’ve licked more pussy then
Lubbock’s got hairs on his balls.
 2.

LUBBOCK
But sir I don’t have no hair on my
balls.

WE SEE LUBBOCK’S HAIRLESS BALLS.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(HE LOOKS DOWN AT HIS HAIRLESS
BALLS)
Well shit, that’s right. I guess
none of us do.

Everyone yells and roars.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH (CONT’D)

It’s God Damned, evolution, Hair
makes your dick smaller. It’s
survival of the biggest.

LUBBOCK
Captain, rumor got it that you used
your big ‘ole dick on some elf
pussy! Is that true?!

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(REAL SLOW) What did you say?!

Everyone get’s very quiet.

LUBBOCK
I mean, I forgot. I know the
Wrangler rules set by Captain Fort
Worth says first and foremost that
we don’t talk about Elf Pussy.
CAPTAIN FORT WORTH
God Damned right! (PAUSE) I was
spurned by the finest of tail that
don’t actually have a tail, in any
galaxy.

LUBBOCK
You was spermed?!

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

You God damned idiot. The word is
spurned and it means having your
heart ripped out and stomped on.
God Damn it, why did you make me
have to think of something that
makes me have a feeling?

Suddenly in a rage he turns and takes control of the helm.

 3.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH (CONT’D)

She was the only chick that ever
rejected the captain before he
ejected. The only one ever to miss
the money shot.

LUBBOCK
You was bringing it home right into
an elve chicks hangar but damned if
you couldn’t get docking
clearance?!

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

That’s right Lubbock but it wasn’t
just AN elf but the God damned,
eight hundred pound sausage shoved
into a five pound bag elf,
Queen.

He jerks the wheel of the spacecraft veering directly into a

meteor. The ship shudders causing all of the men to fall.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH (CONT’D)

Just imagine, if you, just by
accident, you stumbled across a
whore. She’s got eight tits, three
of em’ lactating, two tongues, one
on each ball, and can accommodate
your dick in her ass, pussy and her
mouth all at the same time. Same
time, God Damnit!

He crashes the ship into another meteor. A sexy female ROBOT,

with a voice that sounds like a British GPS system, enters
and approaches the captain.
SEXBOT 01
The ship is on direct course for
destruction sir. Currently,
everyone is on a trajectory for a
gruesome and horrible death.
Switching to the designated driver
system is highly advisable.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(KICKING THE SEXBOT ACROSS THE
ROOM) Shut the fuck up, you dick
sucking microwave.

SEXBOT 01
(FLYING BY) Delightfully.

He pulls his dick out and begins to piss all over the control
panel. The ‘piss wet’ panel starts smoking and flaming.
 4.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

No gut’s no (HE ORBITS HIS CENTER
PONDERING THE END OF THE
EXPRESSION) Glory holes!

CUT TO:

EXT. PLANET BONECRAFT

The ship is hurdles to the ground in a fiery ball and crashes

onto the planet Bonecraft. Slowly out of the rubble the space
wranglers drunkenly fall out of the wreckage, stumbling over
each other and tumbling to the ground outside the ship.
Captain Fort Worth suddenly bolts up and instantly starts
trying to regain his bearings.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(DELIRIOUSLY) Whiskey Tango
Foxtrot. Alright boys, shut yer
cockholsters and listen up! We got
a situation, I need all the pecker
checkers to the deflectors. We need
to kick the tires, light the fires
and float this boat. Light the tip
and take a sip shit kickers.

He kicks a pile of literal shit, cone shaped and swirling

with flies. Sanchez, a dark skinned, considerably more
intelligent space wrangler runs up to the captain.

SANCHEZ
(SOUNDS LIKE ANTONIO BANDERES)
Unidentifiable aliens have been
spotted in the third quadrant.
Should we prepare for maximum
resistance for the retaliation,
sir?

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Sanchez, you know I don’t speak
your language. Speak English!

LUBBOCK
I think he’s talking about those
Green weird as shit macho Mother
fuckers over there.

Pan out to see a sea of Orks gathered.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

God damnit! The Green dicks. All
hands on your decks.
(MORE)
 5.
CAPTAIN FORT WORTH (CONT'D)
It’s time for us to B-B-Q us some
greenie weenie’s.

CUT TO:

EXT. PLANET BONECRAFT - OUTSIDE OF CRASHED SHIP.

The Orks and the Space Wranglers have assembled in a sloppy

drunken, lazy military fashion. However, the tension is high.
The air is thick with the prospect of war. The two generals
in orderly fashion walk away from their men and meet in the
middle. Both sides are poised for fighting.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

Nice day, eh?

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Yeah, nice and warm.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

Not too humid.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

No, it’s a dry heat.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

Yesterday, we had a bit of a
drizzle.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Must have reminded you of your
gonorrhea.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

Oh, yes, it did, my perpetual
drippy faucet, (HE GLANCES DOWN AT
HIS ORKAN COCK WITH A SMILE) an
ork’s pride and joy. (HE LAUGHS)
And here this bastard is again
crashed on my planet after another
night of drinking crude earthly
chemicals and fucking kitchen
appliances.

CUT TO:

EXT. SPACE WRECKAGE

Sex Bot 1 is struggling, painfully to pull her self across

the gravel by using only her to front arms because she has
lost her mechanical ability in the back legs to let everyone
know that:
 6.

SEXBOT 01
Actually we are a highly complex
mechanism designed for pleasure and
safety.

Captain Fort Worth hears her, shakes his head pulls out his
gun and shoots her.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

God Damn, enough with the, me, me,
me!

Sexbot keels over.

SEXBOT 01
(DYING VOICE) Delightfully.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

My apologies Swampass, you were
saying.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

Oh, I was just giving you a bit of
shit about your toaster fucking.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, ain’t got
many options on that scrap heap.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

(FULL OF BRAVADO) Hell, I’d fuck a
metal pussy an ork would fuck
anything!

THE ORKS CHEER LOUDLY.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH
Hell, don’t I know that. (FRIENDLY)
Remember that time you and me was
licking dwarf asshole in the
Passwind Forest?

A knowingly deep laugh is shared by both. They re-create a

sound that happened during that time. Just as knowingly, they
both make a ‘vomit sound’ letting us know it wasn’t all good.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

(REMINISCING LAUGH) Yeah, with that
old wiley bastard Captain Jerk.
That fucker gave me crabs.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Swampy, you always got crabs. Your
crabs got grandchildren.
 7.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

(LAUGHS) and they got grand
children. One big happy family.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Well we got a while before the
sexbots.

CUT TO:

EXT. SEXBOTS WORKING ON THE SHIP

Get that bird (REFERRING TO

SPACESHIP) off the ground so how’s
about you set us up with your some
of your finest Ork-tang.

An overly excited younger Ork in the back of the crowd yells

out.

DUMB ORK
(SQUEEKY SOUNDING ELF) We got way
better than that! WE GOT ELFIES!

A great murmur falls through the ork camp.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

No, I wish, I wish. We have no elf
women here. No, no, no, no, no, no,
we can get you a nice ork whore,
one with not so many blisters.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Swampy, you known me a long time,
you discharging piece of horny
green meat. And you know, the one
thing you can’t keep from a
rattlesnake dirt-bag like me, is
the smell of an elf’s vaginy. I’ve
been catching a whiff of it ever
since I started getting my balls
back in their bearings.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

Now hold on one minute, you ain’t
got the balls or the bearings for
the Elven Army, who by the way, are
a bunch of sissy assed, green dick
suckers, but let me tell you my
friend they kick a mighty mean ass.
We lost a lot of lives trying to
procure those elven delicacies.
Find it yourself wrangler cuz I
ain’t telling you where it is!
 8.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Well then I guess in a real
friendly fashion I’ll just have to
rip your brain right out of that
skull you got and let (KICKING A
SEXBOT) my lovely bionic fuckholes
decipher it.

Both sides scream war cries.

SEXBOT 01
Delightfully.

CUT TO:

INT. SWAMPASS THRONE ROOM - NIGHT

His throne sits upon a mountain of various interplanetary

skulls. Captain Fort Worth and a few of his men are in
obvious control of the room. It appears that they have won.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Well ole’ buddy sometimes you might
win, but you will always lose, to
me.

He moves in very close to SWAMPASS.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH (CONT’D)

Sorry for your loss, loser.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

I ain’t lost nothin’ yet.

He draws his ax and suddenly has it right up against Fort’s

throat.
WAR BOSS SWAMPASS (CONT’D)
You got to learn it’s a matter of
perspective, good and proper.

Fort pulls a gun and has it pointing straight at Swampass’s

stomach.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Learnings for losers.

Suddenly the door bursts open. War Boss’s wife, Swampussy

comes in and starts to give him the what for. The Captain
opens his helmet to get a good look.

SWAMPUSSY
(SEXY BODY LANGUAGE) What the
blimey fuck?!
(MORE)
 9.
SWAMPUSSY (CONT'D)
I’m at home slaving away and your
playing soldier with- (TO CAPTAIN)
Who the fuck are you? A wrangler?
(SHE MAKES A FACE OF DISGUST) Ugh!
Wranglers are nasty, THE most
revolting, hideous creatures in the
cosmos. (TO CAPTAIN) You poor
thing, you gotta a face like a
welders bench you need some of
Momma. I love a charity case.

She shoves her fat into his helmet.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(MUFFLED) I can’t breathe.

Suddenly, she pushes the captain away and he snaps his helmet
shut as fast as he can. She turns towards Swampass.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

(TO SWAMPASS) Now you need to come
home right now and get busy with
the things I need you to do.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS (CONT’D)

Woman, I’m taking care of my
business here.

SWAMPUSSY
(STOMPING ON HIS MANHOOD) Woman.
What? Wha- Wo- What? How ailed up
are YOu?! You speak the way your
mother taught you to speak.
Introduce me properly to your fugly
friend.
WAR BOSS SWAMPASS
Woman! I’m working! (LETS OUT A WAR
CRY)

SWAMPUSSY SMACKS HIM ACROSS THE MOUTH.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS (CONT’D)

But I’m-

She smacks him again hard.

SWAMPUSSY
You watch your mouth! If you don’t
want me to bite off your balls the
next time I’m tugging your taint.
Then you speak to me the way I
expect to be spoken to.
 10.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

But-

She smacks him.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS (CONT’D)

(HIS NORMAL VOICE) Alright then!
(HIGH BRITISH ACCENT) So sorry my
dear, yes of course my dear. How
can I ever make amends for the pain
I have caused you?

SWAMPUSSY
(LOVINGLY TO WAR BOSS) Oh I love
that. You’ve been hungry for your
big ole’ Swampussy. Isn’t that
right?

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

(SUPER SARCASM) Oh yes my love,
starving.

SHE SMACKS HIM.

SWAMPUSSY
I don’t believe you Save your brown
nose for a whores arse and NOT
mine. (SUDDENLY TURNS TO CAPTAIN
and speaks slowly and methodically)
Why am I still looking at Your ugly
mug?

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

We are looking for certain females
we knows on this planet. Ork girls
are alright but we’re on an
elfatarian mission (AFTER THOUGHT)
for Jesus.

SWAMPUSSY
You got a bone for those elf ladies
too? (TO SWAMPASS) Welcome to the
club but sorry none of you is
getting in there. Not you. Or you.
You’re not getting in there and you
are most definitely not. And what’s
so special about a damn elf bitch?
(Grabs herself) This is what a real
woman looks like. I could suffocate
one of those bitches with my meat
curtains.
 11.

WAR BOSS SWAMPASS

Yes, stretchy and lovely even with
all the scabs and wrinkles.

SWAMPUSSY
I don’t know why everyone has been
on a quest to bone a scrawny, milky
white elf queen. Not as ugly as
you, wranglers (POINTS TO CAPTAIN)
But still extremely ugly-

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

-Mam, did you say the Queen Elf is
here?! Here on this planet?!

SWAMPUSSY
Oh yeah she is but she only fucks
other elves. Three forty man raids
failed on that dungeon last week.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Really?

SWAMPUSSY
Word has it- The elf brothel. Ain’t
no way your getting in there.
Nobody gets in there. You’ll die
trying you will.

The Captain abruptly stands up and turns around slowly and

deliberately and walks out of the room.

LUBBOCK
Captain! What are you going to do?!
CAPTAIN FORT WORTH
Elf like that, only one thing to
do.

CUT TO:

EXT. BROTHEL COURTYARD - NIGHT

Captain Fort Worth arrives to a scene of men already engaged

in battle. As he walks through the gate into the courtyard,
men and elves are fighting everywhere. A group of male elves
surrounding a wrangler who is tied up on the ground.

ELF 1
Let’s tea bag him.

ELF 2
Let’s tea pot him.
 12.

ELF 3
Fuck it. Let’s gang bag him.

They quickly end the gang bagging as the door to the brothel
opens. Suddenly, everyone stops fighting, and snaps to
attention as they make a path for the QUEEN ELF, she is the
most beautiful, feisty, sexy elf that has ever been imagined.
She walks down the line speaking to the elves and men.

QUEEN ELF
(STOPS IN HER TRACKS) Oh look at
you. Big Feet.

The soldier blushes.

QUEEN ELF (CONT’D)

There’s so many. I’ll need a glass
of water.

A wrangler unable to control himself, lunges towards her. She

flicks her wrist and he runs into a force that prevents him
from coming near her.

QUEEN ELF (CONT’D)

Hold on there, wrangler. Don’t get
your soldier to excited.

QUEEN ELF (CONT’D)

I hope this war has a happy ending.

She stops dead in her tracks in front of Captain Fort Worth.

QUEEN ELF (CONT’D)
(SURPRISED BUT TRYING TO SEEM
TOGETHER) Oh, you.

He opens his helmet and takes a drag from his big cigar.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Yeah me. The one you’ve been
waiting for.

QUEEN ELF
Waiting for you? I assumed you
were dead. Nothing on you lasts
that long.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Your majesty (HE BLOWS A SMOKE
RING) you never had the pleasure.
 13.

QUEEN ELF
-Oh but the pleasure would have
been all yours. Of that, I’m
certain.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

I waited and you never came.

QUEEN ELF
(SERIOUS) I was there. (BACK TO HER
SELF) and everyone knows, I always
come.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(GETTING MADDER AS HE GOES ALONG)
Yeah I guess you got an endless
supply of men or shit any species
that can vouch for that. Me I only
bone the greatest and updated to
the latest piece of fucking
technology in the galaxy. And I
tell you what. They’re hotter than
you are!

A fat, sagging, foxbot enters who sounds like a mechanized

Mrs. Doubtfire.

OLD FOXBOT
Oh my dear Lord, thank you so much
my captain. I have been so honored
to serve you all these years.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(ANNOYED) Not that one! Lubbock get
her out here.
QUEEN ELF
Impressive.

OFF SCREEN: We hear a shot GUN and what seems to be an old

Foxbot hitting the ground, loud mechanical malfunction sounds
are heard in the background. There is a deep long Foxbot sigh
then silence, punctuated by a huge explosion. Then shrapnel
falls around them. Awkward silence then:

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

We been standing here all day. Are
we gonna fuck or not?

QUEEN ELF
Fuck or not? Sure, sure. Oh. But.
Oh.
(MORE)
 14.
QUEEN ELF (CONT'D)
Look at all these men just bursting
at the seams waiting to get a
little piece of my elf pie and I’m
a little tired (SHE SIGHS) so one
of you boys is gonna have to go.

The men cheer. She moves away the Captain and stands in front
of the crowd of men.

QUEEN ELF (CONT’D)

Attention all stiff pricks, Orkish
human, or Elvin. To all of you I
offer this challenge and sensually
oral reward. Head for head. Bring
me (points to captain) his head and
get (She materializes a magical
dildo and sucks it seductively) and
get this head.

CUT TO:

EXT. BROTHEL - COURTYARD - NIGHT

The HEAD MASTER, lean, fashionable and totally effeminate,

strides out arrogantly and notices Fort.

HEAD MASTER
Fort, I haven’t seen you in years.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Who the fuck are you?

HEAD MASTER
You’ve met me many times. I’m the
Head Master.
CAPTAIN FORT WORTH
(IRRITATED) I’m not letting you
give me head.

HEAD MASTER
No, I’m the apprentice to the
queen.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

I know you’re a queen. You cannot
suck my dick.

HEAD MASTER
I’m the most prominent position in
the Queens cabinet.
 15.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Yeah, I know you want to assume the
position, but I ain’t gonna butt
fuck you.

HEAD MASTER
Oh Jesus, what an idiot. Big and
brawny with veins poking out of his
neck, looks virile and potent, but
honey, she’s dumb as dirt.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

You’re a wad of gay!

HEAD MASTER
Um, hello, I am so not gay! I love
women! I’m as straight as a huge
uncut log in the Black Wirey forest
of Musky land. How dare you! I
fucking love chicks, if they’re
dressed right. You are going to die
you horrible cowboy with an even
worse color palette.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

I was born to fight, bring it on
you pointy eared butt hole fucker.

HEAD MASTER
Oh honey, if by some unforeseen
chance you get the better of us for
one second by pinning us to the
ground and forcing your manliness
on us over and over again like we
were silly school girls, we will
eventually come to our senses and
kick your round hard and (HE LOOKS
DOWN AND PUTS HIS HAND TO HIS
MOUTH) Ooh! and hairless balls.
Let’s make haste and do this.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

These balls are for conjugal
purposes only.

He let’s out a war cry and commands his men.

CUT TO:

INT. BROTHEL - QUEENS ROOM

The queen is in the court where she is trimming very exotic

flowers. Captain Fort Worth enters, battle weary and humbly
presents himself to her, lustfully looking into her eyes.
 16.

She looks almost effervescent as she nonchalantly touches the

strange looking cocoons with her finger making the oval
shaped pods open up with a luscious deep and pink vaginal
bloom.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Your majesty by now you can see
that my love, slash er maybe just a
lust is so strong for you that I
have beaten down almost every last
elf and orks for the chance at your
loins.

QUEEN ELF
(CASUALLY) You’ve taken care of so
many of my favorite elven men and
my talented head master.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

God knows you didn’t get anything
from him.

QUEEN ELF
Oh darling you have no idea. (BEAT)
No, I didn’t.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

So not to beat around the bush, or
maybe that’s exactly what I mean.

QUEEN ELF
Yes all of my shrubbery stays oh,
so, moist.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Are you talking about your bush’s
or your ho’s?

QUEEN ELF
The hose I use to water my
vaginias?

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Yeah, those ho’s

He moves toward her ready to mount Then abruptly she shoves

him off her.

QUEEN ELF
Bushes are nice but the flower is
the ultimate pleasure don’t you
think?
 17.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Yeah, if it’s a pussy.

He moves towards her and gropes her breasts and fondles her
womanliness. She abruptly shoves him off of her.

QUEEN ELF
Not so fast space wrangler. It’s
not that easy.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Yeah, I’ve noticed that. Even
though, everything in your horny
garden of (MOCKS) Bushes and
flowers! is heavy with the
anticipation of pollination. Shit,
let’s get our meat to meet.

QUEEN ELF
My fortune cookie said tonight.
Anticipation is the key to success.
I thought it was a good sentiment
and yes, even here we have chinese
food. So no, our meats cannot meet.
Good Night, Fort. Guards! Take,
Captain Blue Balls away.

He heads out super horned up with blue balls. Just crazy

horny to a painful degree. He walks into a room where there
are many horny elven women playing with each other and he
go’s inside and proceeds to have an orgy.

CUT TO:

INT. BROTHEL - QUEENS ROOM

She is sprawled out on a lounge. Naked Ferries fly all around
her, Her breasts are revealed and She looks magnificent and
her womanhood is glowing. He stands before her.

QUEEN ELF
You’ve won. You’ve done everything
I could ever ask for. The hate I
once had for you has mostly
dissolved.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Mostly?

QUEEN ELF
I keep a little residual hate for
the sex. Keeps it interesting.
Captain, you delivered.
 18.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

I always deliver.

QUEEN ELF
Well, I’ve been waiting for that
package for a long time.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

I know, I feel like I’m about to
discharge some of my soldiers just
thinking about that.

We are trying to convince the user that the game is about to

be over.

QUEEN ELF
You and I Captain have been so
completely and utterly obsessed
with our own selves. I’ve never met
another being in any galaxy or
solar system that has as much
sexual prowess as you. My fortitude
as a vixon for the elven woman
everywhere is now bowed down to
you. You have come so very far and
you know I love it when a man can
shoot far. You have made the cut.
There is no other man for me than
you. I am yours as open to you as a
the endless space out here in
space. You haven’t already shot
have you.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Even if I did. No worries. He will
rise again. I swear to God, just
like Jesus.

CUT TO:

EXT. OUTSIDE OF THE QUEENS ROOM

Lubbock knocks on the door form the outside.

LUBBOCK
(OFF SCREEN)
Captain, there’s hunks of burning
rocks falling out of the sky. And
they got real big penises.

CUT TO:
 19.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE ELF BROTHEL

We watch a meteor hit the ground and a dick monster emerges

from it’s fiery remains. We see streaks in the sky of many
more to come.

CUT TO:

INT. QUEENS BEDROOM

QUEEN ELF
Dick Monsters.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Lubbock get the fuck out of here
and what in the fucking fuck is a
Dick Monster?

QUEEN ELF
The end of all of us if you can’t
help us. They will ruin us, Fort.
Ruin us. They somehow in their huge
Dick Monster shapes transform
themselves into the most desirable
creatures to an elf woman, but to
actually fornicate with that
monster would be the demise of any
elf.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Alright I will go. I’ll kill ‘em,
I’ll take care of this but after
this God damn it. The anticipations
over. It’s time for pollination.
You know, recreational, recreation.

QUEEN ELF
God speed captain, God speed your
seed into my- Oh I don’t know just
come back here and fuck me.

CUT TO:

EXT. ELF BROTHEL - NIGHT

The Captain and Lubbock are standing before the gates.

 20.

LUBBOCK
God Damn, sir, I already had so
much respect for you I didn’t think
I could fit room in for much more
but now you are going to bone the
queen that everybody wants but I
guess a lot of guy’s already had
her. I hope that didn’t pass
nothing on to her but that’s okay
she probably has some kind of
magical self cleaning spell.

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

(HE PUTS HIS ARM AROUND HIM)
Lubbock, do yourself a favor and I
mean this like a father.

LUBBOCK
(EARNESTLY) Really? What is it sir?

CAPTAIN FORT WORTH

Get the fuck out of here.

CUT TO:

INT. QUEENS BEDROOM - NIGHT

She is blowing him in an extremely sensual manner. Softly

touching and caressing his cock then streaming her tongue
across the head then suddenly letting him face fuck her. The
music is rising to the climax and the walls are becoming
fluid like an acid trip. There is a montage of sex scenes
that escalate to crazy scenarios, that escalate to even more
crazy scenarios, that esclate to more crazy scenarios.

FADE OUT