In the Closet

One of the most toxic Filipino traits is being homophobic, an act which includes a variety of
negative attitudes and feelings towards homosexual or lesbian, gay, bisexual, or people who identified
or recognized themselves as transgender. Because of this prejudice against gay people, most LGBT+
members of our society chose to stay in the closet because of the fear of being judged by narrow-
minded people, and in a worst case is when your own family member is the one whose taking it against
you, thus affecting your family health.

In our country where most traditional family is thought how to act conservatively, those family
with gay members are restricting them from coming out because of what they call “kahihiyan” or the
possibility that their family’s reputation will be laughed at. This kind of scenario is very common in the
Philippines and it is really alarming how the stigma in each generation of family is being passed
continuously and the cycle goes on and on.

This is an epitome of poor family health status because instead of supporting these kind of
family members, what happen most of the time is that they were being disowned. This may cause for an
LGBT+ member in a family to feel excluded and isolated that may negatively impact his or her future
self.

A history of family exclusion may promote future self-exclusion, a type of internalized

homophobia. A pressure to hide and carry secrets may continue throughout a person’s life and may lead
to an individual conforming and compromising their own feelings by marrying in order to ‘please their
family’ or the wider family that we live in- society. The consequences of this can all too often be
distressing for the entire family system.

The family influences how we experience the world and the relationships within it. They can
develop and nurture positive feelings, but because of our "homeless" feelings, they also encourage self-
hatred, self-doubt, and sometimes depression and suicidal thoughts. Some lesbians, gays and bisexuals
are fortunate to have access to LGBT support and a compassionate counseling service that provides
important support and information while others had no one but themselves.

For this reason, I am passionate about counseling being able to play an important role in
cooperating and assisting families when they experience difficulties, confusions, or conflicts regarding
sexual issues. I believe there is a place for people to hear, support and recognize the importance of the
family and the role of sexuality in it so one day will come where our LGBT+ members wont have to stay
in the closet and be who they wanted to be.