BRYAN PIEL AB-PHILO IV. MS.

MOISESITA CONCHA
BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE

VIOLATIONS:
1. Correctness
 Run-on Sentences- 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence
 Tense- when we graduate (present), the action will happen in the future

2. Clearness- the letter has no clear purpose. The purpose of the letter is to ask for
donation for the yearbook of the graduating seminarians.

3. Courtesy- the sender thank in advance

4. Conciseness- the letter includes unnecessary information.

Greetings of peace and love!

Another academic year of the Immaculate Heart of Mary Seminary will imminently
conclude. Another batch that comprises 15 seminarians will graduate on April 30, 2021
at eight o'clock in the morning.
For their souvenir, we are planning to print the yearbook called, Our Seminary. But due
to the present crisis, our seminary is confronted with the financial difficulty in printing
the said yearbook. Hence, we are knocking to your generous hearts for the support on
realization of our yearbook. We know that it would be impossible without your altruistic
hearts. If you wish to support us, please visit the cashier's office for more information.
May all of us be an instrument in making God's love tangible.
Your Brother in Christ,
Bryan Piel