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£2 APRIL 2021

Ashley
HELLO, Benson
GREAT On how not to be
defined by your

SKIN!
M Expert hacks
relationships

M Insider secrets
M The ultimate
Are
you
blemish-busters

YOU good in
bed?
...BUT LET’S TALK

RICHER SLEEP, AND


HOW TO GET
MONEY MORE OF IT
MOVES TO
MAKE NOW
(and cash in later)
HOW
ONE YEAR
The CHANGED
THE
£10,000 WORLD
orgasm The story of the
pandemic told
But is it worth it? through nine lives
Turn to p86 to find out
04

9 770141 055313
We’v e THIS
always got MONTH
your back
IN
COSMO

COVER STORIES

22 Hello, great skin!

36 Are you good in bed?

From the 58 Money moves to


make now

editor
70 Ashley Benson on how
not to be defined by
your relationships

78 How one year


changed the world

T
his month, it’ll be one year since feels. Over on the other side of the world, 86 e £10,000 or
The orgasm
the UK entered its first lockdown. we spent the day with Ashley Benson in
And while the pandemic has LA (p70), chatting about her journey as
undoubtedly affected almost a young woman in Hollywood, and her
everyone in some way, there’s experiences of dating under the glare of
HAIR EXTENSIONS, TRADEMARK BEAUTY. MAKE-UP SHANE PAISH AT CROSBY CARTER MANAGEMENT, USING DIOR MAKEUP. CARDIGAN, MICHAEL
COVER PHOTOGRAPH RAMONA ROSALES. STYLING SCOT LOUIE AT THE WALL GROUP. HAIR JOSEPH MAINE AT THE WALL GROUP, USING RPZL

no question that women have been hit cameras (“Nobody should get bullied for
COSTELLO X REVOLVE. JEANS, FREE PEOPLE. JEWELLERY, MARTINE ALI. THIS PAGE: CLAIRE’S PHOTOGRAPH SARAH BRICK. HAIR AND MAKE-UP
JOLANDA COETZER AT LHA REPRESENTS, USING URBAN DECAY AND SACHAJUAN. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, STUDIO 33

especially hard. With retail, beauty and who they love”). We’re reflecting on the
hospitality sectors tackling particularly love lessons we’ve learnt from our mums
high levels of unemployment, women (p114) and we’ve rounded up the most
are disproportionately impacted. And as empowering things to read, watch and
society calls on its caregivers, it’s often listen to this month (p14 & 17). Plus, INSIDE
women who are required to step up to the we celebrate the trans models taking
plate. That’s all before even mentioning the world by storm right now (p50), the 11 PLAY
the heartbreaking rise in domestic abuse, female-fronted fashion brands to support
the increase in calls to LGBTQ+ support (p104) and so much more throughout the 19 GLOW
charities, and the ongoing racism issue, including our expert guide on how
33 MOVE
experienced by Black, Asian and minority to get your finances in shape (p58).
ethnic women across the country. So whatever the last year has 43 STYLE
But as we mark a year of struggle, gle, looked like for you, please
this issue, we’re also marking a yearear remember that there’s no
remem 57 EARN
of immense strength – of the enduringuring “right” way to be a woman.
“right AX
RELAX
63
power of women. In a month thatt There’s no such thing as being
There
includes Mother’s Day, International nal too lloud, too emotional, too 78 AD
READ
Women’s Day and Trans Day Of se
sensitive or too tough, too
Visibility, what better time to feminine or too masculine. 113 LOVE
celebrate all of the things we And most importantly, 121 EXPLORE
are as women – the kindness, there’s no such thing
the empathy, the passion, the as being too you. Project Body Love is a campaign
grit and the determination. that aims to change the way
Our special report on p78, women think, feel and speak
about their bodies. This logo
in which we hear from women here, and in issues to come,
across the country about how thee means the content should help
to improve body confidence
last 12 months have changed C L AIR E HO DG SON from the inside out.
their lives, will give you all the E d i tor- in- Chi ef

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 5
LE T’ S TA K E IT
O LD SC HO OL .. .
What was your first
ever Facebook
profile picture?
CLAIRE HODGSON
Editor-in-Chief
Executive Editor (Print) AMY GRIER Executive Editor (Digital) JESS EDWARDS
Creative Director STUART SELNER

ENTERTAINMENT
Entertainment & Special Projects Director LOTTIE LUMSDEN
Entertainment Editor ZOE SHENTON
I have no idea
Senior Entertainment & Lifestyle Writer DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT
where or when this
Editorial Assistant & Junior Writer DANIELLA SCOTT
was, but I’m
clearly thrilled! FEATURES
Features Director CATRIONA INNES Senior Editor CYAN TURAN 4th May 2007: Me
Sex & Relationships Editor PAISLEY GILMOUR clutching a drink, which
Features Editor CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER Features Writer JENNIFER SAVIN definitely looks about
DESIGN right (also as far as first
Art Editor JESSICA LOCKETT Senior Designer (Digital/Motion) ALICE COWLING Facebook pics go, I think
Designer KATIE WILDE this is pretty harmless).
Quite relieved tbh.
PICTURES
Picture Director CAT COSTELLOE Picture Editor JODIE MCEWAN

PRODUCTION
Chief Sub-Editor HANNAH JONES Deputy Chief Sub-Editor REBECCA HASTINGS
A selfie with an
unfortunate X-ray filter BEAUTY
over the top, which Beauty Director VICTORIA JOWETT Beauty Editor CASSIE POWNEY
didn’t do a very good Deputy Beauty Editor LAURA CAPON Beauty Writer KATE PASOLA
job of hiding my FASHION
teenage angst. This Strongbow box/
Fashion Director AMY BANNERMAN (maternity)
Acting Fashion Director NATALIE MICHAELIDES Fashion Editor NATASHA HARDING makeshift dress earnt me
Bookings Editor SOPHIE LEEN Acting Shopping Editor MADDY ALFORD approximately zero likes
back in 2009.
SOCIAL & VIDEO
Social Media Manager SOPHIE BOYDEN
Video Lead ALEX HERING (maternity) Acting Video Lead EDIE JEFFERYS
Snapchat Editor FIONA HAYWARD Junior Video Editor/Producer TYRA CHUCK

CONTRIBUTORS
AMANDA STATHAM (Travel) KEEKS REID (Beauty)
LAUREN NICOLE COPPIN CAMPBELL (Fashion)
Group Managing Editor CONNIE OSBORNE Editorial Business Manager STACEY TOMLIN
Back when I was fresh
‘n’ (semi) famous. C H I E F I N T E R N AT I O N A L B R A N D O F F I C E R Me with a dog in a coat.
Of course.
MATT HAYES
Executive Assistant to the Chief International Brand Officer, TANYA STEWART
Group Brand Director STEVEN MILES

H EAR ST M AG AZ IN E S UK HE A RS T M AGA Z I N ES I N TE RN ATI O N AL


CEO, Hearst UK|President, Hearst Europe JAMES WILDMAN Senior Vice President/Editorial & Brand Director KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN
Executive Assistant to the CEO, Hearst UK|President, Hearst Europe FAYE MCNULTY Deputy Brands Director CHLOE O’BRIEN
Chief Financial, Operations & Data Officer, Hearst Europe CLAIRE BLUNT Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) HELEN GURLEY BROWN
Chief Strategy Officer ROBERT FFITCH I N TE RN AT I ON A L E DI TI ON S
Chief People Officer, Hearst Europe SURINDER SIMMONS Editor, Bulgaria SAVINA PETROVA Editor, China YVONNE LIU
Chief Content Development Officer BETSY FAST Director, PR & Communications EFFIE KANYUA Editor, Croatia ALEKSANDRA ORLIĆ Editor, Czech Republic SABRINA KARASOVA
Marketing & Circulation Director REID HOLLAND Head of Consumer Sales & Marketing JAMES HILL Editor, Finland JOHANNA LATTI Editor, France MARIE LA FONTA
Head of Subscriptions JUSTINE BOUCHER Head of Marketing Promotions AOIBHEANN FOLEY Editor, Germany LARA GONSCHOROWSKI Editor, Hong Kong RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING
Digital Marketing Director SEEMA KUMARI Deputy Head of PR BEN BOLTON Editor, Hungary JOHANNA SABJÁN Editor, India NANDINI BHALLA
Head of Business Management LUCY PORTER Editor, Indonesia FILISYA THUNGGAWAN Editor, Italy FRANCESCA DELOGU
Business Manager BETH RONAN (beth.ronan@hearst.co.uk) Editor, Kazakhstan ANEL ABDUALIYEVA Editor, Korea HYE SOO PARK
HEA RS T C O M M E RCI A L Editor, Latin America LUCÍA SOTELO SANTOS Editor, Malaysia NISA HALID
Chief Commercial Officer JANE WOLFSON (jane.wolfson@hearst.co.uk) Head of Partnerships MARK Editor, Middle East MILLI MIDWOOD Editor, Netherlands JOSEPHINE KAY
MCCAFFERTY Head of Clients OLLIE LLOYD Head of Digital Sales RYAN BUCKLEY Editor, Romania DIANA COLCER Editor, Russia EKATERINA VELIKINA
Branded Content Director ALI GRAY Client Director, Health & Wellness NATASHA BAILEY Editor, Serbia NASJA VELJKOVIC Editor, Slovenia AJDA HOVNIK PLEŠEJ
Client Director, Beauty LEE BAILEY Client Director, Fashion EMMA BARNES Editor, South Africa HOLLY MEADOWS Editor, Spain CECILIA MÚZQUIZ HERRERO
Client Director, Motors JIM CHAUDRY Client Director, Finance PETE CAMMIDGE Editor, Sri Lanka SHIHAAM HASSANALI Editor, Turkey ÖZGE ZEKI
Client Director, Travel DENISE DEGROOT Head of Classified LEE RIMMER (lee.rimmer@hearst.co.uk) Editor, Ukraine OLEKSANDRA BURYNSKA Editor, USA JESSICA PELS

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8· C O S M O P O L I TA N
This month at
Dogs, knitting and walks with
friends are keeping us going…

Caught in the act


This issue, our creative
team did their first
remote photoshoot
in LA with Pretty Little
Liars star Ashley Benson
(see page 70). Here, Shooting the breeze
Ashley models what We might not have been able
can only be described to do much this month, but
as “roadside chic” as here, picture editor Jodie
she, er, nets herself the proves all you need is some
April Cosmo cover… fresh air with a mate to make
things OK. Fancy a chilly dip?
WORDS AMY GRIER. ASHLEY BENSON PHOTOGRAPH RAMONA ROSALES. STYLING SCOT LOUIE AT THE WALL GROUP. HAIR JOSEPH

Turn to page 41 for our pick


MAINE AT THE WALL GROUP, USING RPZL HAIR EXTENSIONS, TRADEMARK BEAUTY. MAKE-UP SHANE PAISH AT CROSBY CARTER
MANAGEMENT, USING DIOR MAKEUP. ASHLEY WEARS T-SHIRT, SAINT LUIS. SKIRT, SHEIN. NECKLACES, DALMATA AND VITALY

of the best wetsuits.

Hobby buddies
How do you fight lockdown-
Doggy style induced boredom and give
You know those days when your wardrobe a refresh at
you spend hours in hair the same time? Knit, that’s
and make-up for a fashion how! Here, deputy beauty
shoot (see page 104 for the editor Laura shows When Louis met Dusty
finished article), only to have off her new skill, Interviewer became interviewee this
your locks upstaged by a encouraged by beauty month, when senior entertainment
pooch? If anyone knows the contributor (and and lifestyle writer Dusty grilled the
leave-in conditioner this pup knitting pro) Keeks. one and only Louis Theroux. See
uses, hit us up – we need it. what they chatted about on page 15.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 9
play
T V, M O V I E S, M U S I C , B O O K S , P O D C A S T S , C E L E B S

AC - 1 2 a r e
back on screen
It’s been two long years, but finally
Line Of Duty is back for series 6. And
WORDS DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT. PHOTOGRAPH PIP/CAMERA PRESS

they’re straight on it, as the hunt for


corrupt coppers continues. After 2019’s
season finale revealed that “H” is
actually four people – three of whom
are dead or in witness protection –
Ted Hastings, Steve Arnott and Kate
Fleming (played by Vicky McClure, left)
are still searching for the missing piece
of the puzzle. Joining the show is Kelly
Macdonald as DCI Joanne Davidson,
whose unconventional conduct raises
suspicions. In the words of Hastings,
“Now we’re sucking diesel.”

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 11
play tv

T I G E R K I N G
a y e ar o n
The documentary became an overnight phenomenon during lockdown
in March 20
2020, but what have Joe Exotic et al been up to
o since?
nc

WHO? Animal rights activist, fashion icon – Kim Kardashianan


a n
founder of Big Cat Rescue even dressed up as her for
and Joe Exotic’s arch enemy. Halloween. Carole still runs
WHAT’S SHE UP TO NOW? Big Cat Rescue and is a
Making the most of her new champion of the Big Cat
fame, Carole appeared on kss
Public Safety Act, which seeks
Dancing With The Stars (right) to ban the private ownership
CAROLE BASKIN
in 2020. She’s also become a of lions and tigers.

WHO? The self-styled “Tiger WHAT’S HE UP TO NOW? year afterr he


King”, former owner of After the series came out, he failed to pay her
Greater Wynnewood Exotic launched an appeal to get his £800,000 00
Animal Park and wannabe sentence overturned and even during a
country singer was sentenced wrote to Kim K (we’re kinda trademark rk
to 22 years in prison in 2019 sensing a theme here) for help. dispute.
for animal abuse charges and As for his Oklahoma zoo, it Double
JOE EXOTIC paying someone to kill Baskin. was handed over to Baskin last ouch.h

Purrrfect
WHO? Another interesting denied. Despite prowling
character and zoo owner, the charges, the

D, GETTY IMAGES, NETFLIX, SHUTTERSTOCK


Doc runs the Myrtle Beach Myrtle Beach Safari fari
Safari in South Carolina. Instagram account unt
WHAT’S HE UP TO NOW? pdated
ed
is still regularly updated
In October, Doc was charged with pictures of his
with wildlife trafficking and animals, including ng ligers,
r,
BHAGAVAN “DOC” ANTLE animal cruelty, which he himps.
elephants and chimps. WORDS ZOE SHENTON. PHOTOGRAPHS BACKGRID,

WHO? One of Exotic’s will never work in the business ont


contact with Joe Exotic,
employees, Saff was attacked again. Saff has relocated to which isn’t entirely
by a tiger at the wildlife park California, where it looks surprisin
surprising.
in 2013 and lost his arm. as though he’s been loving
WHAT’S HE UP TO NOW? outdoor life with his wife and
Not only did Saff leave Exotic’s kids, judging by his wholesome
zoo in 2018, the unsung hero Instagram feed. He also
KELCI “SAFF” SAFFERY of the series has also said he appears to have cut off all

12 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
play tv

You’ve binged
Line Of Duty…
now what? CRIMINAL
What’s it about? This police drama takes place
Hastings, Kate and Steve are back on our screens entirely within the walls of the interrogation room, with
a group of exceptional detectives questioning suspects.
this month. Once you’ve charged through series Who’s in it? The cast includes Kit Harington, Sophie
Okonedo, David Tennant and Sharon Horgan.
six, this lot will fill the gap Will it really fill the LOD void? We all love the
LOD interrogation scenes, and this is basically a whole
series of them. Plus, LOD’s Rochenda Sandall also stars.
Series 1-2 are on Netflix

UNFORGOTTEN BAPTISTE

What’s it about? Two London What’s it about? The spin-off


detectives, DCI Cassie Stuart from the hit series The Missing
and DI Sunny Khan, investigate follows detective Julien Baptiste
sinister unsolved cases. as he investigates the case of
Who’s in it? Nicola Walker a missing girl in Amsterdam. 
and The Kumars At No. 42’s Who’s in it: Tchéky Karyo plays
Sanjeev Bhaskar. Baptiste, alongside Killing
Will it really fill the LOD Eve’s Fiona Shaw (above).
void? It’s a good old-fashioned Will it really fill the LOD
cop drama – plus, there are 24 void? Baptiste not playing by
episodes across three seasons, the rules is essentially a homage
so it’ll keep you going for ages. to DS Steve Arnott, in our book.
Series 1-3 are on Netflix Series 1 is on BBC iPlayer
WORDS DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS BBC, NETFLIX, NOW TV, SKY

GANGS OF
LONDON
TRUE DETECTIVE
What’s it about? The
What’s it about? A different set of detectives is series delves into a powerful
followed each season as they investigate crimes, family in London’s criminal
unearthing secrets about themselves along the way. underworld, which becomes
Who’s in it? Each of the three seasons features increasingly turbulent and
a brand-new cast – Matthew McConaughey, Rachel political when a notorious
McAdams and Mahershala Ali have all starred. crime boss is assassinated.  
Will it really fill the LOD void? The only duo we Who’s in it? Peaky
could love more than Kate Fleming and Steve Arnott Blinders’ Joe Cole, His Dark
is McConaughey and Woody Harrelson. Materials’ Lucian Msamati and Game Of Thrones’ Michelle Fairley.
Series 1-3 are on Amazon Prime Will it really fill the LOD void? Yep – it’s wall-to-wall drama.
Series 1 is on Now TV

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 13
play culture

The playlist:
International Women’s Day
You don’t need a specific day to celebrate being a woman, but
these suggestions will put a spring in your step on 8th March
TUCK
GET S
INTO...
E
LENG
CHAL
RBG YO U R S E L F.
..
This Oscar-nominated
documentary is about the life of Hood
Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the legendary Feminism by
associate justice of the Supreme Court Mikki Kendall
of the United States. She served for A collection of essays that questions
almost three decades and became whether or not the feminist
an icon thanks to the trailblazing movement has been truly inclusive
moves she made for women’s of disability, race, class and
rights. Available sexual orientation. A tough
on Netflix but crucial read.
Out now

.
TEN..
E I T A LIS
GIV

Stuff Mom BE I
NSP
Never Told You IRED
...
Anney and Samantha, the hosts of
this podcast, explore what it means to Hidden Figures
identify as a womxn today. They look at When astronaut John Glenn
everything from activism to fangirling was launched into orbit in 1962,
and much more. Episodes range three Black female mathematicians
from 15 minutes to over an hour. played a pivotal role, all while
Available on Spotify and facing discrimination. This film,
Apple Podcasts now starring Taraji P Henson, Octavia
Spencer and Janelle Monáe,
tells their story. Available
on Amazon Prime

WORDS DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, MOVIESTILLS DB, NETFLIX


Grrrl
power

HE
GET T
D...
REA GIGGLES..
E A .
HAV

Alonement:
How To Be Alone Moxie
A comedy-drama from Mean
& Absolutely
Girls’ Amy Poehler? Sign. Us. Up.
Own It by
Based on the novel of the same
Francesca Specter
name, a 16-year-old sets up a feminist
Alexa, add “alonement” to our
revolution at her high school, after
vocabulary. This handy guide is
being inspired by her mum’s past
packed full of tips that’ll encourage
as part of the punk movement
you to value your own company
Riot Grrrl. Available
and dedicate some quality
on Netflix
time to yourself.
Out now

14 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
play celebrity

Ask
Q&A

me
anything
Louis Theroux talks famous
friends, boozy ski holidays
and outrageous rumours

What’s the most you heard, you would


surprising rumour be vulnerable. You’d
you’ve heard need special protection
about yourself? from con artists. 
I once read that I’d had You were on The
my ears pinned back. Great Celebrity
If I have, they didn’t Bake Off. Tell us an
do a very good job. insider
insi secret...
Dream way
to spend
When the hosts
say “Bakers,
sing Chandelier as
a karaoke song.
“I’m liable comes mental health.
I have a wrinkly old-
a Sunday? you have What’s your best to sing Sia’s man head anyway.
A lie-in, 15 piece of advice? What’s your guilty
which means minutes Charge your phone Chandelier pleasure?
about left”, overnight. The worst Bourbon whisky, mixed
8.30am, they do it thing is to have low at karaoke” with orange juice,
followed by irrespective battery, because it will freshly squeezed
AS TOLD TO DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT. PHOTOGRAPHS CHANNEL 4, GETTY IMAGES

pancakes with the of the actual go dead by lunchtime lemon or tonic water. 
radio on. Then a time. They basically and you might be advice I’ve ever heard”, Ever been surprised
walk in the park in say to you: “Just ignore presented with a crisis. but you’ve still got to by what a guest
the sunshine, a pub that. We need that You’re going to say remember it.  has shared with you
lunch, and a relaxing clip for the show.” “That’s the most boring Would you rather on your podcast?
afternoon at home Who’s the most be 20 years older I’ve been more
with some football famous person Louis, above or below surprised by what I’ve
is that
or a board game.  in your DMs? y o u?
the neck? shared. I told Frankie
Would you rather Sia reached out to This may surprise you, Boyle about how I once
lose the ability me a few years ago but above the neck. drank so much wine on
to lie, or believe as she’d seen some I’d rather have an old a skiing holiday, I ended
everything you of my programmes, face and a young body. up pooing my pants.
hear? and wanted to get As you get older, diet
I’d rather tell the truth together for a meal. and exercise become Grounded With Louis
all the time. If you If I’ve had enough more important, and Theroux is available
believed everything tequila I’m liable to with physical health on BBC Sounds

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 15
play music

From
Montana to Miley
Somehow, it’s been 15 years since Miley Cyrus shot to fame as a befringed
country-singin teenager. Here are some of her biggest moments along
country-singing ong the
he way

2006 2008 2009

HAN
HANNAH MONTANA MILEY RELEASES HANNAHAH
MAKES HER DEBUT
MAK BREAKOUT ANA HITS
MONTANA
Fifte years ago, the first
Fifteen Millennials the world over will G SCREEN
THE BIG
ep
episode of Hannah Montana remember Miley’s Breakout The release of Hannah
aired on the Disney
ai album as a seminal work. From Montana: The he e Movie
C
Channel. The episode 7 Things to Fly On The Wall, supercharged ed
introduced
in us to Miley every track was an undeniable Miley’s glittering
ering
Ste
Stewart, who was living banger. The album career. Plus,,
a secret
s double life as teen reached number the soundtrack
ack
po sensation Hannah
pop one on the featured The e
Montana. It was an instant
M Billboard 200, Climb, whichch
h and we all immediately
hit, and has since was permanently
nently
gave ourselves ill-advised gone platinum in set to repeatt on
DIY fringes. the US and the UK.
th our
ur iPod Nanos. 
Naanos.
a nos. 

The ultimate will-


2013 2012 t h e y - w o n’t
’t - t h e y

THE WRECKING BALL ERA CY


CYRUSWORTH
C
This was the year Miley’s brand BEGINS
BE
completely changed, with Thr years after they met
Three
her new bleached hair on the set of The Last Song
and red lipstick. In back in 2009, Miley
ba
August, the same day announced her engagement
an
she released Wrecking to H
Hunger Games star Liam
Ball, she famously Hemsworth in an interview
He
twerked at the VMAs. with People magazine,
wit
In September, she and following months of denying
foll
Liam announced rumours that were sparked
rum
they’d split up. Boo. by a huge rock on her finger. 

Sing it to
2018 2019 2019
us, Miley WORDS DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES,

SECRET HOT GIRL ALL HAIL MILEY


EY
WEDDING SUMMER Not only did Miley
BELLS The pair split again, appear on Billboard’ss
INSTAGRAM/@MILEYCYRUS, MOVIESTILLS DB

After reuniting a and Liam filed for Greatest Of All Time


couple of years divorce. Miley Artists Chart in 2019,,
previously, Miley embarked on but she also starred
and Liam married in “hot girl summer”, in Black Mirror, played
ed
a secret ceremonyy on captioning photos Glastonbury and, in
Christmas Eve. Thee low- and videos with 2020, released her epic
key occasion appeared
eared the buzz phrase new album, Plastic
on the Instagram story coined by Megan Hearts. We can’t waitt
of a friend of the couple. Thee Stallion. to see what’s next.

16 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
play books

The mother
of all stories
The bond between mums and their children isn’t exactly straightforward, and neither is thinking about
becoming a parent yourself. But don’t worry: these new books don’t sugar-coat it, wherever you’re at

If…
If… you’re If…
you’re struggling you’re
freaking with pregnant
out infertility
NON-FICTION

THE PANIC YEARS THE MOTHER PROJECT PREGNANT


ANT THEN
by Nell Frizzell, by Sophie Beresiner, SCREWED
out now out 27th May by Joeli Brearley,
WORDS CYAN TURAN AND CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. *ACCORDING TO RESEARCH BY THE EQUALITY AND HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION

It’s the big decision that affects all the After a cancer diagnosis stole her fertility out now
smaller choices you’ll ever make, and when she was just 30, Beresiner began Pregnant women found themselves low
it’s one that’s impossible to take back: a decade-long journey to parenthood. on the government’s priority list during
whether or not you should have a baby. Her rollercoaster entailed hope, despair, the pandemic, but Brearley fought their
In this memoir, Nell Frizzell unpacks her three countries and multiple surrogates, corner. Her organisation Pregnant Then
“panic years” (which, she says, can hit but – as her Instagram followers will Screwed battles pregnancy and maternity
at any time between 25 and 40), all know – it ultimately ends in joy. Her story discrimination (54,000 women per year
the while offering advice and feminist might just make anyone struggling with are pushed out of their jobs for being
learnings on how to survive when it infertility or loss feel slightly less alone, pregnant or taking maternity leave*). This
feels as though everyone around you and shows that there’s more than one book exposes why, when you’re pregnant,
is becoming a parent. way to become a mother. the world can feel rigged against you.

If… If…
If…
you’re the things are
you’re
odd one complicated
feeling
out in your with your
fractured
family mum
FICTION

THE TALK OF SURROGATE WHAT’S MINE


PRAM TOWN by Susan Spindler, AND YOURS
by Joanna Nadin, out 1st April by Naima Coster,
out now Lauren has been told that the only way E-book out 1st April
Eleven-year-old Sadie adores her wild, she and her husband will get their How do our parents’ decisions affect the
vibrant mum, Connie. But then Connie longed-for baby is via surrogacy. Up rest of our lives? That’s the question asked
is found dead, leaving Sadie to move steps the unlikeliest candidate, her by this North Carolina-set novel, in which
in with the grandparents she’s never met 54-year-old mum, Ruth, who discovers we meet Gee and his mother, Jade, who is
– as Connie fled the family home when that with the right hormones, she could determined to help her sensitive Black son
she was 17 and pregnant. Following carry her daughter’s baby. But as the due survive school. There’s also Noelle, who is
the stories of three generations of date approaches, Lauren’s envy and half-Latina, but whose mum refuses to see
women across several decades as their Ruth’s isolation mean things unravel. her as anything other than white. When
differences are unpicked, this book asks: A gripping take on an under-discussed the two families’ lives become intertwined,
is it always like mother, like daughter? topic for fans of Apple Tree Yard. the consequences are haunting.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 17
glow
BS -FREE BEAUTY THAT WORKS FOR YOU

Beauty director USING NEXT


Victoria Jowett
B I OS S A NC E S QUA LA NE +
on this month’s V ITA M I N C DA RK SP OT
#empties S E RU M, £4 9
It takes a lot for a serum to turn my
head, but Biossance has done it. This
new formula is packed with vitamin C
and soothing squalane, which means
it brightens and decongests skin as
well as calming inflammation. It’s
become my favourite for applying after
breakouts, as it helps prevent acne
scarring while also keeping my face
looking bright and glowy.

USING UP

DR UNK ELEPH ANT C -FIRMA


DAY SERUM, £6 7
PHOTOGRAPH AND FOOD STYLING ELLIS PARRINDER

This has been my go-to vitamin C serum


for the past year – I’ve religiously slathered
it all over my face every morning (and
become as addicted to it as I have my
morning coffee). It smooths any texture,
minimises under-the-skin spots, brightens
and helps fade pigmentation. The formula
is one of the best I’ve found for ticking
every box – plus, the packaging is airtight,
which allows the vitamin C to stay fresh
and stable for longer.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 19
Beauty lab
Clarifying
Victoria Jowett
BEAUTY DIRECTOR

clay masks
Each month, our beauty team tests the newest products to
see what reigns supreme. Here, Cassie Powney slathers
on some earthy delights to blitz her blemishes
Cassie Powney
BEAUTY EDITOR

PICK
EDITOR’S

Institut Esthederm
Intensive Propolis+
Purifying Mask, £28
Pore-clearing kaolin is teamed
with soothing, antibacterial
propolis – a Korean favourite
for combating anything from
excess shine to adult acne. I
was left with a noticeable glow
after only one use, and a few
Laura Capon
underlying spots even came
DEPUTY BEAUTY EDITOR
to the surface. Silky to apply
and with a subtle coconut
scent, this purse-friendly face
fixer ticks every box for me. LOVES
2021

Keeks Reid
BEAUTY CONTRIBUTOR

Soak Sunday Rose Utopia


Transformative Clay Face Mask, £16 Glow Hub Calm & Soothe
There’s something therapeutic about mixing Face Mask Stick, £10
up a clay mask by hand. This pink kaolin As a stick-mask virgin, I was impressed by the
powder offers a best-of-both blend of smooth, mess-free application of this kaolin
gentle white and more absorptive red clay, clay mask. Good for people with pristine white
but despite drying quickly, left no tingling or bathrooms and skin that errs on the sensitive
dryness. I loved the subtle scent of lavender side, thanks to calming hemp-seed oil and
and rose petals, and more importantly, the jojoba. Great price, but it felt more like a good
soft, glowy (not greasy) skin it left me with. cleanse than a deep, decongesting skin reset.

Kate Pasola
BEAUTY WRITER
glow

L A Y Q&A
C
1
Which clays won’t dry out
my combination skin?
Kaolin is the mildest form, meaning
it absorbs impurities without stripping
the skin of its natural oils. Found in
most clay-based products, it offers
gentle exfoliation rather than
hardcore pore-purging. 

2
Are clay masks the natural
alternative for acne-prone skin?
You can channel your inner
cavewoman and seek out the pure
For more of stuff, but most clay-based products
our favourite face
are far from “natural”, often boosted
masks, go to

MAIN PHOTOGRAPH STOCKSY. STAFF PHOTOGRAPHS SARAH BRICK. HAIR AND MAKE-UP JOLANDA COETZER, USING URBAN DECAY, ANASTASIA BEVERLY
Cosmopolitan.com/ with other skin-loving ingredients and
uk/face-mask (perfectly safe) cosmetic colourants.

HILLS AND SACHAJUAN, AND JENNI DAVIS, USING MAC AND KENRA, BOTH AT LHA REPRESENTS. STILL LIFES GETTY IMAGES, LUCKY IF SHARP
3
How often should you be
applying a clay mask?
How regularly you apply clay and
the length of time you leave it on for
depends on your skin type (and the
product instructions, obviously). But
as a general rule of thumb, aim for
a 10-minute session three times
a week if you’re dealing with a daily
oil slick. Only battling a little bit of
Chanel Le Masque shine? Apply on the T-zone for five
Anti-Pollution Vitamin minutes once or twice a week.
Clay Mask, £43
Heavy-duty clay formulas are
great for soaking up excess
oil, but if you find them a
little too drying for your skin,
4
consider this coral-coloured So I can’t just take the mask off
cream instead. The French Volition Detoxifying Silt once it’s cracked?
clay and kaolin is balanced Gelée Mask, £53 Contrary to popular belief, you should
nicely with hydrating passion- Once you get past the “foraging in the
never wait for your clay mask to dry
fruit extract (I skipped my forest” smell, this is a joy to use. It applies
moisturiser afterwards), plus smoothly, removes easily after 10 minutes,
out and crack before removing it.
vitamins C and E, giving and purifies skin without flaring up Satisfying? Yes. Dehydrating for all
my skin an instant radiance any sensitivity (thanks, soothing quinoa skin types? Totally.
boost without any tingling or protein). The only downside? It’s a little
tightness. Just take my money. more spenny than others on the page.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 21
a
glow

cn
I still
have

e: a memoir

If spots are plaguing you


in your twenties and thirties,
don’t do anything until you’ve read
Carly Cardellino Vaccaro’s story ›

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 23
hi
I work in beauty,
a big problem for twenty-
and thirtysomethings recently,
explains Dr Marchbein. “One
theory we have now is that you
have an increase of hormones
in your skin that causes your
oil glands to overproduce,”
she says. This could be due
to contraception use.
3
w ays a
d e rm atol og i st
ca n cl ea r u p
your s ki n
To
p tips
fr om t he C o sm o
b e a ut y t e a m

“Online
dermatology
services like Dermatica
can prescribe ingredients
like Tretinoin, which has
helped clear my skin.”
I have for years, In addition to hormones,
though, there are a lot of V ic to r ia J o w e t t,
and I don’t have b ea ut y
other factors that can make
clear skin. adult-onset acne worse – TOP ICA L CRE A M S
di r e ct o r

This is despite having access and unfortunately, they’re Prescription antibiotic gels
and anti-inflammatory
to the country’s best things many of us have to
creams like benzoyl “I go
dermatologists and the most deal with every day… peroxide can calm red, for soothing,
cutting-edge treatments. inflamed breakouts, while hydrating skincare
STRESS ingredients like hyaluronic
The most frustrating part? topical retinoids promote
skin-clearing cell turnover acid, and an exfoliating acid
I’m no longer 16 – I’m a Feeling frazzled means the every other night.”
and help with scarring. 
grown-up. A spotty-faced stress hormone cortisol is
adult. For me, acne is like that coursing through your body, C as si e Po w n ey,
one frenemy who just keeps triggering the inflammation b ea u ty e dit o r
M E DICIN ES
popping back into your life. that leads to flare-ups. Birth control pills regulate
Here’s the hard truth: acne the acne-causing
POLLUTION hormones oestrogen
is almost always chronic, and
and progesterone, halt “When
it’s getting worse for adults Debris in the air can ovulation (which can spike I get a breakout,
– it’s not something you cure, basically sit on your face, breakouts) and calm I use hydrating serums.
but something you control. clogging pores and causing testosterone (which can I’ve made the mistake of
So buckle up, because I spots. Avoid this by using send oil glands into drying out my spots before,
overdrive). Spironolactone and that just leads to flaking.”
(and some people with actual, anti-pollution skincare
is another drug that
spot-fighting medical degrees) ingredients like vitamin C. dermatologists swear L au r a Ca po n ,
am going to show you how. by – it’s used to treat de pu t y b e au t y
PRODUCT OVERUSE ed it o r
First, it helps to know that high blood pressure,
there are two main kinds of “People want to try every new among other concerns,
but also used off-label
acne, teenage and adult- beauty trend, but few consider
to keep hormones in “LED
onset, explains dermatologist what’s right for their skin,” check. “If a patient’s wands and
Dr Shari Marchbein. The says Dr Marchbein. Her acne still hasn’t cleared, masks, ibuprofen and
former typically shows up recommendation? Stay strong I suggest Roaccutane oral CBD help with my
in the T-zone (forehead, against Instagram beauty – an oral retinoid that’s cysts, and I love Gallinée’s
very strong,” says prebiotic supplements.”
nose, chin), while adult acne bombardments and pare
Dr Marchbein.
tends to invade the jawline, back your regimen. Ka te Pas o la,
mouth area, cheeks and neck. b ea ut y
DIET S TE RO ID w r it er
They both stem from four
causes: bacteria in your Eating a high-glycaemic IN JEC TION S
Got cysts (aka deep,
skin, inflammation caused diet (one that contains
invisible pimples) or a “If you
by said bacteria, enlarged lots of sugar and refined giant red blemish that wear a
PHOTOGRAPHS HANNAH KHYMYCH/

oil glands and hormones. carbohydrates), as well as needs to go right now? headscarf to bed,
Imbalanced hormones force consuming certain dairy Ask a dermatologist for change it weekly. This will
a spot treatment. They’ll stop bacterial breakouts
ART PARTNER LICENSING

your sebaceous glands (which products, could make you


inject a mild steroid right on your forehead.”
spit out waxy, pore-clogging break out. “The latter contain
into the area to deflate it. 
sebum) into action. This may a protein that spikes certain Ke ek s Re id,
provide a clue as to why hormone receptors, creating b ea u ty
breakouts have become acne,” explains Dr Marchbein. c o n t r ib u to r
glow

A n on - ov e r wh e lmi n g
skin ro u ti ne
that a c t ua l l y wo rks
The best way to calm your skin? Take your
routine right back to basics. Snap a pic
of this gentle, dermatologist-approved
guide and follow it every single day.
If you’re still breaking out a month later,
book a dermatologist appointment.

AM PM

Use a cleanser that won’t Apply a retinoid such as La


dry out your skin, like Roche-Posay Retinol B3
Avène Extremely Gentle Serum, £38, every other
Cleanser, £11.50. night after cleansing.

Add vitamin C with On nights you don’t use


Nip & Fab Vitamin C Fix a retinoid, give your skin
Concentrate Extreme a swipe with StriVectin
3%, £24.95 – it contains Daily Reveal Exfoliating
pollution-fighting Pads, £39, which promote
antioxidants. cell turnover.

P ut a s ticker o n it Apply a sunscreen like Finish with a good


REN Clean Screen moisturiser – Honest
1 2 3
Mineral SPF30, £32, Beauty Hydrogel Cream,
Standard spot treatments aren’t all they’re cracked up to which protects, but won’t £25, locks in moisture
be. “Overusing them can dry out already infected areas pill under
nder your mak
make-up. without feeling greasy.
1. Starface Hydro-
around your pimple, creating micro-cracks in your skin’s
Stars, £12 for 32
barrier that invite more bacteria in, putting the skin at risk
of infection,” explains dermatologist Dr Joshua Zeichner. 2. Zitsticka Killa
Your new fix? A spot sticker. These non-irritating treatments Kit, £27 for 7
are made from a hydrocolloid material designed to heal
wounds. Also, they look cute, and help you resist picking 3. Dots For Spots,
your spots. Out of sight, out of mind, right? £5.99 for 24

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 25
b Step awayy
evenn
a
an expert how
w

W po
e’ve
e all dealt with blackheads at some
point or other – and as a long-time sufferer
BACK TO BASICS
You can’t tackle the issue until you understand the
myself,f I know how frustrating they can be. Most
f, cause, right? So let’s break this down…
of the time, I live my life without giving them a
Why do we get blackheads?
second thought. I mean, who o really cares about
“We all have pores, and when those pores become blocked with
a couple of tiny clogged pores on my nose, osee
debris, oil or dead skin cells, that’s when you get a blackhead,” sa says
right? But every now and then, I’ll be in the midst
Dr Mahto.
M “The reason they look black is because all the oils in th them
of my evening skincare routine and end up
become e oxidise oil.” 
oxidised. It’s not the dirt that is black, it’s just oxidised o
lingering a little too long over my T-zone. That’s
OK, but how are re bl
blackheads different to whiteheads?
when it happens – I start to consider doing the
“When it comes to blackheads, ds the p
ads, pore remains open, whereas
where
unthinkable, and squeezing the tiny spots.
when you get a whitehead, the pore becomes omes blocked over – and
comes
Of course, I know better. I’ve been told by
then you get a little pustule.” Nice, eh? h?
PHOTOGRAPH GETTY IMAGES

countless skincare experts about the perils of


And why are they so damn hard to get rid of? 
picking and popping blackheads, but I can’t
“The underlying problem is the excess oil being produced,” says
deny, the temptation remains. So, in an attempt
Dr Mahto. “So whatever treatments you do, blackheads will
to (literally) save my skin, I spoke to consultant
always naturally reform every 20 to 40 days. This means
dermatologist Dr Anjali Mahto, to find out how
doing a one-off treatment won’t permanently
to declog my pores for good…
get rid of them – they will come back.
Tackling them needs to be an
26 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
ongoing process.”
glow

THE
BLACKHEAD -
BUSTING
CHECKLIST 1
Buff it out
“Exfoliation removes that upper layer
of dead skin cells,” says Dr Mahto. “You’re
effectively preventing everything from old
cells to dirt and make-up getting blocked
inside the top layer of pores. There are two
ways you can do this – mechanical exfoliation,
such as a face scrub, and chemical
exfoliation, using skincare acids to
dissolve the dead skin cells.”
T R Y: La Roche-Posay Ultra-
Fine Scrub, £10

ds
Ace your acids
Not a fan of scrubs? Then it’s time to
work with the acids in your arsenal instead.
“AHAs, or alpha-hydroxy acids, are really
good for treating blackheads – they’re your
glycolic acids and your lactic acids,” explains Dr
Mahto. “Then you have BHAs, or beta-hydroxy
acids, such as salicylic acid. They cause a
chemical disintegration of the top layer of the
skin cells, so they dissolve everything and
that unblocks the pores.”
T R Y: The Ordinary Lactic Acid
10% + HA, £5.80

3
Mask up
“If you have acne or blemish-
prone skin, using a clay mask once a
week can be really beneficial. They’re
super-effective when it comes to drawing
impurities out of the skin and reducing oil
production,” says Dr Mahto. “Exfoliate
before applying the mask, as this will
allow it to really penetrate the skin.”
TRY: Origins Clear Improvement
Active Charcoal Mask To
Clear Pores, £24

4
Rely on retinoids
“Retinoids are great if you
have blackhead-type acne, or a
predisposition to blackheads,” explains
Dr Mahto. “They are vitamin A-based
formulas and cause an accelerated
exfoliation, helping to de-clog stubborn
pores. You have to be patient, though, as
they take about 12 weeks to kick in.”
T R Y: Sunday Riley A+
High-Dose Retinoid
Serum, £70
C O S M O P O L I TA N · 27
h y o u r
tc
di
to
w

nd for all)
Ho

e a
n c
(o

Eyes look like you’ve


had a night on the
pornstar martinis
when you were in bed
by 9pm with a hot
cocoa? You might
want to read this…

28 ·
28 COSMOPOLIT
TA N
glow

Un
der-eyes The eye-
plained m myt
ex y- re a Doctor ’s
Earl bird

h
b a gs o r d er s

Not- so -fun fact: Question:


The skin under your eyes is Can applying a topical
10 times thinner than the product for a few weeks
rest of the skin on your face, Ri d d le u s th is : completely blitz under-eye Wan t n o t ic ea ble
bags and make you forget
making it more prone to If sleep is so important for r e su lt s n o w ?
they were ever there?
swelling (caused by excess well-rested eyes, then why Tear trough filler is a
In a word, no. But they
fluids) and discolouration are our peepers puffier in non-surgical treatment
often contain ingredients
(blood vessels visible the morning? “A good that involves injecting
that help to reduce
through transparent skin). night’s sleep will stop hyaluronic acid into specific
inflammation, tighten skin
Other factors can play a congestion from building up and support the delicate areas around the eyes
part too – such as allergies, in the veins and making the under-eye area, housed to replace lost volume.
stress, fatigue, genetics and under-eyes appear darker,” in light formulations that “Not everyone is a good
good old ageing. “As you says Dr Thivi Maruthappu, a won’t exacerbate puffiness. candidate,” explains Dr
age, your skin thins and consultant dermatologist for “Look for active ingredients Ezra, who administered my
your face loses fat, not the Skin Health Alliance and such as peptides to treatment. “For example,
to mention elastin and Olay. But when we sleep, stimulate collagen people with excess skin
collagen, which give skin we lie flat and don’t blink, production,” advises beneath the eyes, genetic
its support and fullness,” which allows fluids to gather Dr Maruthappu. “It’s the hyperpigmentation, or
explains Dr Daniel Ezra, and settle temporarily. skin’s natural cushion.” a medical condition that
a specialist ophthalmic Try raising your head up increases their risk of
and oculoplastic consultant. with an extra pillow to complications.” There are
It could just be that your encourage drainage, and flashes of pain as the needle
folks passed on the gift apply your eye cream using is inserted, but it’s over fairly
M o v e o v e r,
of deep-set eyes (cheers, sweeping outward motions cucumber quickly, and after a few days
guys), something even an from the inside corner to of mild bruising, the results
industrial-strength concealer help speed up lymph are pretty breathtaking.
won’t fix. “Pigmentation drainage. Fluid retention Dr Ezra charges £725 for
problems can also run can also be nixed by staying the treatment – pricey, yes,
in families of colour due hydrated, avoiding too but the results can last
to extra melanin in the much salt and eating anything from nine months
WORDS CASSIE POWNEY. PHOTOGRAPHS CAROLINE TOMPKINS/REFINERY29 FOR GETTY IMAGES, GETTY IMAGES

skin,” adds Dr Ezra. potassium-rich foods. to a couple of years.

Revolution Cooling Q+A Murad Vita-C


E y e R o l l e r B a l l, £ 8 Caf feine Eyes Dark Circle
GREAT Eye C o r r e c t o r, £ 5 6
GR E AT
FOR S e r u m, FOR
Lymphatic £6.50 Calming and
drainage strengthening

GREAT
Pai Sys tem D Cooling
FO R E y e S e r u m, £ 3 9
GRE AT Reducing
F OR puffiness
Anti-
ageing
GR E AT
G RE AT
F OR
FOR
Brightening
A restful
Olay Collagen pigmentation Spacemasks sleep
P e p t i d e24 E y e S e l f- H e a t i n g E y e
C r e a m, £ 3 4 .9 9 M a s k , £15 ( f o r 5 )

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 29
J O I N THE

PA N E L
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and having the chance to help
edit this magazine? Then we
want to hear from you…

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COSMO PANEL
WHAT YOU’LL GET:
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Hearst-panel.co.uk
to sign up today!
glow

My life in
beauty
YouTube and TikTok skincare king Hyram talks
us through his life milestones in products

bareMinerals
Complexion
Rescue Tinted
Moisturiser, £30 Shani
“While recovering from my Darden
eating disorder, wearing Retinol Reform,
this was the first time £80*
I felt beautiful.” “This is the best retinol I’ve
found so far. There’s no
sensitivity, but I notice
really good results.”

The
Ordinary
Niacinamide 10%
+ Zinc 1%, £5
“Niacinamide is my
favourite skincare
iUNIK ingredient – it’s simple,
Tea Tree Relief but super-effective.”
Serum, £15†
“I rarely hear about this
brand on social media,
but it has some of my
AS TOLD TO LAURA CAPON. PHOTOGRAPH AKONI PHOTOGRAPHY. *CULTBEAUTY.CO.UK †FEELUNIQUE.COM

favourite formulas of
all time.”

Kylie
Skin Walnut
Origins
Face Scrub, £24
GinZing
“I posted a video saying,
Oil-Free Gel
‘Don’t buy this, it’s not worth
Moisturizer, £25
it.’ I got 100,000 views in
“Working as a make-up artist
a day – that’s when my
got me into skincare. This
channel really grew.”
was the first moisturiser
I ever bought.”

CeraVe
SA Smoothing
Cleanser, £12
“The response I usually
get when I meet people is,
‘You got me hooked on
CeraVe, you changed
my skin.’” 

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 31
move
STRETCH YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND
*ACCORDING TO AN ESTIMATE BY BEAT EATING DISORDERS

What not to say to someone with


WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH STOCKSY.

an eating disorder
If you’re supporting one of the 1.25 million people in the UK with an eating disorder*
this Eating Disorders Awareness Week (it’s 1st-7th March, FYI), finding the right words can
be tough. But when we asked a group of people who’d experienced an eating disorder
first-hand, one comment they said they wished people wouldn’t make was “You look well!”,
adding that this reinforces the idea that eating disorders are purely physical, when they’re
actually mental illnesses. Instead, show you care by asking “I wondered if you’d like to talk?”
or “Is there anything I can do to help you?” Learn more at Beateatingdisorders.org.uk

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 33
Before-and- after
fitness pics:
friend or foe?
They’ve become a social-media staple, but body-confidence advocates
are questioning their impact. Jennifer Savin takes on the debate
move

On the left, a place value on how their body PROUD TO


transformation is received.”
woman stands in While Danielle acknowledges that BE PICTUR
ED

everyone’s journey with their body is


greying underwear personal, she says the problem is that the “Legend!”, “Your posts show me I mustn’t

or clingy gym gear, “before” image automatically positions


that body shape as “less worthy”. “If
give up on myself” and “You’re an
inspiration” are examples of the types of
her shoulders somebody wants to lose weight, that’s
absolutely their business alone, but when
comments that Rachael Kent, a marketer
and fitness instructor, receives whenever
slightly hunched. it comes to before-and-after set-ups,
they imply there was something wrong
she shares a before-and-after post. “I
took pictures throughout my weight-loss
The lighting is perhaps less beforehand,” she says. “That somehow journey, and I should be able to celebrate
complimentary. The focus is meant the bigger body is less valuable.” the fact I’m a couple of stone lighter
to be on her shape – on her soft Dr Omara Naseem, a counselling and a million times happier,” she says.
stomach or pillowy upper arms. On psychologist who specialises in eating Everyone’s health concerns and priorities
the right is a more toned version of disorders, agrees that these sorts of are different, so following a doctor’s
the same body. The accompanying photos can be difficult to see. “People advice is essential. For Rachael, there was
caption details the trick to which the with eating disorders or low self-esteem a lightbulb moment when she realised her
poster owes their “body glow-up”. tend to negatively compare themselves weight was putting her in the danger zone
A new eating plan maybe, or a to others,” she explains. “These images for certain health conditions, such as heart
workout app. An increase in time could be triggering and lead to feelings problems or a stroke. “Taking photos of
spent on the rowing machine. of inadequacy, or result in unhelpful my progress kept me motivated,” she says.
The likes amassed are often in the negative comparisons.” She adds that Progress photos on a personal
thousands, the comments a flurry what we see online doesn’t trainer’s account are a way
of flame and heart-eyes emojis. always represent reality. for them to advertise their
If sets of “before-and-after” images “Images on social media services, explains
have ever appeared on your social- can be edited and Rachael. She adds
media feed, chances are you’ve filtered. They also “They imply that it’s not about
stopped scrolling to take a look. But
does doing so make you feel inspired
often play into the
idea that we should
that the bigger celebrating
smaller sizes,
and motivated, or press play on the
pesky voice in your head that screams
all aspire to look
a certain way, as
body is less but motivating
those who want
“You aren’t enough”? It seems that opposed to doing valuable” it, whatever
for many, the answer is increasingly what’s healthiest and their goal.
the latter. So should we consign them best for ourselves.” It’s also important
to history along with fat-shaming gym On Danielle’s to remember that how
adverts and diet pills? Instagram feed, she’s ssomeone lost weight is
posted her own “reverse” just as important, and isn’t
before-and-after picture – a always shown through a
alway
NO CONTE
ST photograph of her thinner self picture. Sustainable methods
picture
contrasted with her current larger er that foc
focus on both mind and
For mental health and plus-size body. Her caption is all about body are ar always healthiest. If
confidence influencer Danielle Catton, the internal journey she’s been before-and-after
before-a posts make you
the argument is clear-cut. “As somebody on: “Here is my then and now. spiral, DrD Naseem suggests
who has struggled with disordered I’ve gained a lot of weight and unfollowing
unfoll hashtags or users
eating and body image, I find before- I don’t need an excuse for it. that prompt upsetting feelings,
and-after photos harmful,” she explains. I don’t drink any more. I’m and setting yourself time limits
Danielle adds that when she recently beating an eating disorder on certain
c apps. “We all have
saw someone who positions themselves and kicking bipolar disorder’s ’s an iindividual weight range and
as part of the self-love community on butt. Isn’t it time we stop shap which is healthy for us,”
shape
Instagram post a side-by-side weight-loss assuming someone else’s health ealth s
she says. “Acceptance
image, she felt compelled to unfollow by just looking at them? Isn’t ’t it time of a range of o healthy bodies
PHOTOGRAPHS STOCKSY

them. “It invalidates everything they were we treated fat bodies with the he same – including different genders,
trying to say. Even if it did include a lovely respect as thin ones?” She regularly abilities and
races, abilit
caption about how their weight loss tells her followers that she’ss in a background
backgrounds – is the most
doesn’t define them, the fact they posted happier place now than shee was realistic, he
helpful message.”
it at all indicates that they do actually when she was thinner. Amen to that.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 35
move

a v e t he

nıght
H

of fe your li
Fed m b er
up wi
th ca tchi e l a t e s t slu
s cie n g l e s s t h a n 4 0 w i n k s? Ta p i n t o t h o z i ng
nce a
nd put a p e r f e c t sno
n e n d t o a n y t h i n g l e s s t h a n 10 0 %

Y
ou know those nights
when you stare at the
ceiling, imagining to an How long is a to figure out your personal magic
outsider your eyes must piece of sleep? number. “It’s simply the amount of
resemble bloodshot Ren & sleep that allows you to wake up
Stimpy-style balls glowing We all know the golden rule of eight alert and refreshed the following day,”
in your skull? Yeah, those. hours a night, but actually, it turns explains Dr Stanley. If you’re nodding
If you’ve been experiencing out one size doesn’t fit all. A review off again by mid-afternoon, try
more of them lately, don't worry. of 320 research papers concluded tweaking your bedtime and tracking
that seven to nine hours of shut-eye your body’s response in order to
So has pretty much everyone.
is optimal for over-18s, but one identify your sweet spot.
New research shows that the
sleeping expert says it can be even
number of us struggling with our
less for some. “Individual sleep
sleep rose from one in six to one
requirements are like height,” says What happens
in four last year – with anxiety
named as the key culprit (hmm,
Dr Neil Stanley, author of How To
Sleep Well. “To a large degree, it’s
when you’re asleep?
wonder what could be causing genetically determined and anywhere When it comes to your sleep activity,
that?), along with financial stress between four and 11 hours would Dr Sophie Bostock says we can identify
and the pressures of juggling be considered normal.” He advises four main stages. “A sleep cycle is
modern life. So how can we ace listening to your body when trying made up of the body passing through ›
something that should be so
simple, but often isn’t?

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 37
move

three stages of non-rapid eye movement


(NREM) sleep to get to REM sleep (the
deeper, dream-inducing kind), before
repeating all over again.” Another sleepy
term you need to know is “circadian
rhythm”. This simply refers to the body’s
natural cycle of sleep and wakefulness
(changes in sunlight can disrupt it, making
us sleepier in the winter than in summer
due to more melatonin – “the sleep
hormone” – being produced by the brain).

While you sleep,


your brain is hard
at work, in one of
these four stages…
1

Stage one: “You’re just losing


consciousness here – it’s very easy to
wake up again,” says Dr Bostock. This
period typically lasts for around 10
minutes before moving into stage two.

Stage two: Ooh, this is a good’un


– the stage that scientists refer to as
“true” sleep. Your heart and breathing
rates slow and your body temperature
drops until you fully lose consciousness
(hello, drool). “It’s where you’ll likely actually asleep. The remaining 25% is
spend most of your time asleep,” How to nail it how much you’ll reduce your “sleep
says Dr Bostock – between 20 to 30 Alright, so now you’ve got the intel, window” by. For example, your new sleep
minutes are often spent in this phase. here’s how to put it into action… window would be 12am-6am, spending
six hours in bed for a six-hour sleep, rather
3 Calculate your window than eight hours in bed for a six-hour
Not, like, the actual window – sleep. This short-term restriction should
Stage three: Up next, the most physically this is not a tip about measuring create a stronger drive to fall asleep.
restorative chunk of sleep, referred to as for curtains – but your sleep-
slow-wave sleep (SWS) by those in the restriction window: limiting the number of Be strict
know. Here, your body works hard to hours spent in bed to closely match the Pinkham advocates being
secrete growth hormones from the brain time we can sleep for creates a stronger stern with your sleep window
and helps cells to re-energise and repair. drive to fall asleep, and improves sleep – no matter how tired you
quality over quantity, says Kathryn are, stay awake until your new bedtime.
Pinkham, founder of The Insomnia Clinic. Sadly, no lie-ins allowed either, or
4
“First, work out your sleep efficiency – how naps after 3pm (or longer than
REM Sleep: So called because your long you’re asleep for versus how long 20 minutes). Use the extra hours
eyes are darting about all over the you spend in bed in total,” she adds. productively, whether that’s meal
shop, this phase is normally associated Divide your sleep time by the number of prepping, doing your laundry or
with dreaming and sees your brain total hours spent in bed and multiply that reading a book (anything that’s
being pretty active. And then it’s by 100. For example, six hours of sleep screen-free). Reserve your bedroom
back to phase one to do the cycle ÷ eight hours in bed x 100 = 75%. This solely for snoozing too – no working,
all over again. Easy, eh? gives you the percentage of time you’re eating or TV in there, please.

38 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
Tackle anxiety perfect life, or perform brilliantly at Sleeping
Anxiety is the enemy of sleep. It
sends a “fight or flight” message
to your body that keeps you
work, says Pinkham. “Sleep is not going
to fix all of those things. If you’re sleeping
well, but you still feel tired during the
on the job
feeling alert and your heart rate up. But day, that’s because our busy lifestyles
a new study has found that, before bed, can be exhausting.” She adds that it’s In the name of journalism,
listing 10 tasks you need to accomplish important to acknowledge that if you
over the coming days can help you nod are often stressed or anxious, you may
two Cosmopolitan writers
off 15 minutes faster. If you’re worrying find you still feel pretty wrung out, as (attempted to) put the
about your sleep during the day, block it’s your body’s way of letting you know
out 20 minutes to write these feelings something is wrong. Don’t be hard on
biphasic and dymaxion
down. “This is about getting it out of your yourself and, if needed, reassess whether cycles on trial for a week
head and onto paper to give a different some lifestyle changes are necessary.
perspective. It’s not about suppressing
BIPHASIC
anxious thoughts, but choosing when to
tackle them,” says Pinkham. Extreme sleeping
Trialled by Fiona Hayward
We’ve discussed more
Sip cherry juice “standard” sleep cycles, Pre-lockdown, I slept for eight hours
A review in but did you know there a night, waking at 7am. Working from
Advances In 4 extreme are four other types home (and not having to look presentable
Nutrition
concluded that cherries,
sleep styles identified by sleep
experts* for those who
24/7) gradually meant my bedtime
slipped and I started setting my alarm
for just 30 minutes before starting work
which naturally contain are unable to get a solid – cue feeling sluggish and unproductive.
melatonin, could be a stretch, such as shift Going to bed at 1am, I found the 6am
legit insomnia cure. In workers? Some of them starts a struggle at first, but by the end of
one study, participants net a mere two hours’ the trial my deep sleep was 10 minutes
drank 230ml of tart kip in total. These come higher on average (according to my
Three and a half hours’ Garmin watch) and I felt more alert. I also
cherry juice or a cherry- with a word of warning
sleep at night and three stopped working through my lunch breaks
flavoured placebo every from Dr Chris Dickson, to take a guilt-free nap instead (that said,
20-min naps in the day.
morning and evening for executive chairman it took another 30 minutes to get back in
a fortnight. Those given of Cambridge Sleep the zone after). If done properly, this
the real deal slept longer Sciences, though. routine could offer a positive alternative
and were less likely to “Changing your to my usual sleep pattern – but it’s not
wake in the night. sleeping pattern can easy to do on weekends, or while trying
to sustain a social life.
be damaging to your
WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN, EMILY PRITCHARD, KATIE AVIS-RIORDAN AND SOPHIE BOYDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS SAM
ARMSTRONG. HELLOMAGIC SILK SLEEP EYE MASK AND EURHINE SILK SLEEP EYE MASK, AMAZON.CO.UK. *AS

Make “weekend physical and mental


Five to six hours’ sleep at
coffee” a thing night and an hour and health, if either the DYMAXION
New research a half nap in the day. length of time or the
shows that quality of your sleep Trialled by Jennifer Savin
cumulative is compromised,” he
Anyone else feel there aren’t enough hours
coffee consumption explains. “Resulting
in the day? I hoped the dymaxion cycle
(over 60 cups a year, sleep deprivation can would help me carve out more time to
so… more than one affect everything from write my new book. Unfortunately, the
a week) could lead to mood to memory to opposite happened. For starters, I found it
shrinkage of a gland in Four 30-min motor functions.” impossible to pick a “bedtime” – one night
the brain that produces naps throughout the He adds that a lack I stayed up until 3am, slept until half past,
day and night. then wandered around my flat for hours
melatonin. Gulp. Can’t of quality sleep also
and tried writing but couldn’t concentrate
IDENTIFIED IN THE 2OO1 BOOK AT DAY’S CLOSE

face Sunday-only lattes? increases the possibility due to exhaustion. I also spent a lot of my
Try scaling back to one a of heart attacks, while allotted naptimes worrying about not
day. *Slides Pret loyalty compromising the falling asleep fast enough. By the end of
card back into pocket* immune system. day two, I’d started getting a bit Macbeth
“If you were to adjust – “Is this a dagger which I see before
Be realistic your sleeping pattern, me?” – and tapped out to preserve my
Six to eight 20-min naps, sanity. Dr Dickson says, “Dymaxion and
People who this should take place
equidistant throughout uberman sleep patterns would endanger
sleep for eight over a phased period your health if tried for a longer period,”
the day and night.
hours a night of at least six to eight and adds that they’re usually reserved for
don’t suddenly have a days,” he advises. military operations. I can see why. V
move kit

Try before
you train...

wetsuits
Team Cosmo took the plunge into some Lido on your
lunch break?
To t a l l y
(very) cold water to give you the lowdown doable

on the best suits out there. Brrrrrrrr…

Purse-
friendly

Perfect Moment Imok Neo Gul Response 3/2mm Speedo Xenon Fullsuit, £250
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At first glance, this wetsuit at Wetsuit Outlet in the water, this is the suit for you.
looked incredibly thin, so I wasn’t I’m a 16-18, and many wetsuit The purple core stabiliser helps keep
convinced that it would keep brands simply don’t offer suits you in a good swimming position,
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L o t t i e, Entertainment Director C a t r i o n a , Features Director   A m y G, Executive Editor (Print)

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The last time I wore a wetsuit, at Wetsuit Outlet Incredibly lightweight, this suit IN THE WATER?
I ended up with burst blood vessels I’m a wimp when it comes to moulded to my body perfectly. Try popping a rash vest
due to inadequate boob-fabric outdoor swimming, but in this suit, I Despite it being thinner than some under your wetsuit for extra
allocation. When I first tried on felt so confident. I considered sizing other wetsuits, it still protected protection against the cold.
Zone3’s, I had flashbacks – but up, as I’m 5ft 10in, but my normal me from the cold – it uses Gul Swami Long Sleeved
once I was in the lido, the fit felt size was fine. It felt secure, but not technology that traps air against Rash Vest, £27.50 at
divine, with super-flexible fabric. restrictive – like a second skin. the skin for added warmth. Wetsuit Outlet
K a t e, Beauty Writer S o p h i e, Bookings Editor F i o n a , Snapchat Editor

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 41
S u bs c rib e t o
COSMOPOLITAN
DIGITAL EDITION

AVAILABLE ON THESE DEVICES:


HEARSTMAGAZINES.CO.UK
OR VISIT ANY OF THESE STORES
style
FA S H I O N T H AT M A K E S YO U F E E L A S G R E AT A S YO U LO O K

Bag of tricks
In this world, there are only a few
universal truths we can all agree on.
If you’re wearing a white shirt, you
will drop pasta on it; Lizzo is a god
among women; and rain and handbags
don’t mix. Or do they? These colour-
pop pouches by Berlin-based brand
VeeCollective are water-repellent, so
you can say goodbye to the soggy purse
life. Better yet, they’re made from 100%
recycled nylon and thread, meaning
they’re a no-brainer on all fronts.
Bags, £150 each, VeeCollective
WORDS NATASHA HARDING. PHOTOGRAPH AGATA PEC

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 43
Photographs

ALISE JANE

Worn and styled by

LAUREN NICOLE COPPIN CAMPBELL

D r e s s , £ 6 0, J o h n
Zack at ASOS

POWER
Need a burst of confidence?
Tap into your own greatness with
spring’s best and brightest looks.
From bold sleeves to eye-
catching earrings, these pieces
are sure to give you a boost…
the style guide

The joyful dress


Bold, swishy, and oh-so-comfy: find a throw-it-on frock that
makes you smile and you’ll never have a wardrobe crisis again

2 3
4

SUGARY
SHADES

ADD
TA L L
BOOTS
8

WEAR
THE
RAINBOW
6
BUCKLE
UP

5 11
7

10
9

12
12
JOIN
THE
DOTS

FRILLS
F O R DAY S

1 To p, £ 59; s k i r t, £ 59, b o t h N e v e r F u l l y D r e s s e d 2 D r e s s , £ 3 5, M o n k i 3 D r e s s , £ 4 4 .9 9,
To p s h o p 4 D r e s s , £ 95, G h o s p e l l 5 B a g, £ 24, N a s t y G a l 6 D r e s s , £ 57, D a n c i n g L e o p a r d
7 B e l t, £12.9 9, M a n g o 8 D r e s s , £75, O m n e s 9 Tr a i n e r s , £ 24 .9 9, D e i c h m a n n
10 D r e s s , £119, H u s h 11 D r e s s , £ 2 9.9 9, Z a r a 12 E a r r i n g s , £ 2 8 , H u s h

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 45
the style guide

The bold print


Go big or go home with painterly patterns and oversized
motifs. Style it all out by adding some cool neutral pieces

2 GOLD
D E TA I L S 3
1

7
PRETTY
IN
POLKA

6
4 SAFETY
FIRST

5 8
CHIC
V- N E C K
VESTS
SMART
STRAPS
9

10 12 13

14

P I C K-
11
1 ME-UP
SKIRTS

1 D r e s s , £75, G h o s p e l l 2 Tr o u s e r s , £12 0, D r e a m S i s t e r J a n e 3 C a r d i g a n, £ 3 5 .9 9, M a n g o 4 C o a t, £ 5 8 , N e o n R o s e
5 S k i r t, £ 69, A l i g n e 6 Ve s t, £ 45, & O t h e r S t o r i e s 7 M a s k , £19.95, H i l l & F r i e n d s 8 Tr o u s e r s , £ 49.9 9,
Z a r a 9 S a n d a l s , £ 8 5 , & O t h e r S t o r i e s 10 C a r d i g a n, £ 4 0, R i v e r I s l a n d 11 S u n g l a s s e s , £18 , A J M o r g a n
12 B l a z e r, £ 49.9 9, M a n g o 13 S k i r t, £110, K a i C o l l e c t i v e 14 S c r u n c h i e, £7. 5 0, S l i c k B a c k S c r u n c h i e s

46 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
S h i r t, £ 9 0;
t r o u s e r s , £12 0,
both Kai
Collec tive.
S andals,
£ 49.9 9, Z a r a

47
D r e s s , £ 95, L a v i s h
Alice at ASOS. Ring
(m i d d l e f i n g e r o f l e f t
h a n d ), £ 2 9 8 , T h o m a s
S a b o. O t h e r r i n g s ,
m o d e l’s o w n .

Shopping compiled by
Maddy Alford. Hair and
m a k e - u p A i m e e Tw i s t

48
the style guide

The statement sleeve


Spring’s prettiest tops have one thing in common: eye-
catching sleeves. Go on, treat yourself to some arm candy…

2
3
THE
WILD
SIDE
1

5
4

PA R T Y
PIECE
9
8
6
7 GLAM
LITTLE
EXTRAS
11
12

10

ALL
13
TIED
UP
COSY
CARDI

15

ZOOM
READY

14

1 To p, £ 2 5, To p s h o p 2 C a r d i g a n, £ 45, D a n c i n g L e o p a r d 3 To p, £13 0, S a m s ø e S a m s ø e 4 S u n g l a s s e s ,
£ 24, T K M a x x 5 R i n g, £15 .9 9, M a n g o 6 B l o u s e, £ 62, S i s t e r J a n e 7 E a r r i n g s , £ 2 9, Q u a y 8 D r e s s , £78 ,
G h o s p e l l 9 B a g, £ 2 2, N a s t y G a l 10 B a g, £ 2 9.9 9, M a n g o 11 C a r d i g a n, £ 8 9, H u s h 12 B o o t s , £ 6 5, O f f i c e
13 To p, £ 59, N e v e r F u l l y D r e s s e d 14 To p, £ 8 9.9 9, S c a m p & D u d e 15 To p, £19.9 9, M i s s S e l f r i d g e

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 49
A N S M O D EL
T R S
TO KNOW
Fashion should be a space for acceptance, and while the industry still
g
has a long way to go, it’s encouraging to see transgender and non-
or campaigns,
binary people gaining more visibility in major campa a igns, fashion shows
and magazines. These multi-hyphenates are e also blazing trails within
rememmber their
m
activism, TV, film and more – so remember the
e ir names…

Hari Nef
The first trans woman signed to top
modelling agency IMG Worldwide,
and the first openly transgender
person to appear on the cover of
a British commercial magazine
(ELLE’s September 2016 issue),
Hari has since modelled for
Interview, Vogue and CR Fashion
Book. She’s also starred in the TV
shows You and Transparent, as well
as the 2018 film Assassination
Nation. Talk about multi-talented.

Munroe Bergdorf
An activist for both transgender rights and the Black
Lives Matter movement, Munroe speaks out against
Andreja Pejic issues of misrepresentation and racism in the fashion
Having walked in both h the menswear
and media industries, winning Changemaker Of The
and womenswear showshows for Jean
Year at our 2018 Influencer Awards and bagging
Paul Gaultier in 2011,
11, Andreja’s
numerous modelling gigs. She was dropped from
androgynous look has as defined her
a L’Oréal campaign in 2017 after posting about
career. She came out as trans in
systemic racism on social media. The company
2014, later becoming g the first openly
has since apologised, and Munroe now sits on
trans model to be profiled
ofiled for Vogue,
its UK diversity and inclusion advisory board.
as well as one of the first trans
models to secure a major cosmetics
campaign when she signed on as the
face of Make Up Forr Ever in 2015.
style

Jari Jones
An actress, artist, model and activist, Jari recently
graced a giant billboard in New York as part
of Calvin Klein’s 2020 Pride campaign. She
spoke of the importance this representation has:
“I think it’s so important to see the rage and fight,
but also to see imagery of what the possibilities
can be – imagery of Black joy, trans joy, because
often all we see is the negative imagery.”

Casil McA
McArthur
Dara Allen With shoots for GQ
Dara became a sought-after face in fashion France and British Vogue
when she
sh made her catwalk debut for Marc under his belt, Casi
Casil has been
Jacobs as
a an unsigned model in 2017. Since modelling since he was 10
she walked for brands including Prabal
then, she’s years old and strug
struggling with
Gurung, Kenzo
K and Erdem, as well as appearing gender dysphoria, and
a began
on the ccovers of Candy and i-D magazines. transitioning in his teens. A
cosplay
osplay enthusiast,
enthusiast h hee expresses
himself through characters.
ch
haracters.

Nathan Westling
Nathan’s successful career has gone from
strength to strength since he walked the Marc
Jacobs runway in 2013. He took a break
from modelling in 2018 to focus on himself
and his health, and began transitioning.
Speaking with CNN Style in 2019, Nathan
credited his experience in the fashion world
with his self-discovery. He has graced the
covers of both i-D and Dazed magazines.
WORDS SOPHIE LEEN. PHOTOGRAPHS ALAMY, GETTY IMAGES,
INSTAGRAM @MUNROEBERGDORF, @CASIL_THE_GOAT_LORD

Aaron Philip
Aaron’s rising career is driven by the lack of representation
of both trans women of colour and disability in the fashion
media. Last year, she featured in Italian Vogue, shot by
Tyler Mitchell, and has also appeared on the cover of
Paper magazine. She’s posed for campaigns for Sephora
(celebrating the trans and non-binary community) and
Dove (focusing on diversity in beauty), and was the face
of Jeremy Scott’s A/W 20 Moschino campaign.

51
o m -friendl
Z o y
accessories
This spring’s essentials? Bold, eye-catching extras that will a) show
up over a blurry connection and b) perk you up on camera – even
if you only got out of bed five minutes before your meeting…
0, A k i l a
£80
Compiled by M A D D Y A L F O R D

£ 3 9, Q u a y £13 6 , L a c o s t e a t F a r f e t c h £ 9 9, J i m m y F a i r l y

£10 5, G u e s s x M a r c o l i n £14, C l a i r e’s


’ £ 9 9, S p e c s a v e r s

Glasses CAROLINE
VA Z Z A N A
Eye strain isn’t
cute. Grab yourself
some prescription
frames, or protect
your eyes with
a blue-light-
blocking
pair.

£10 0, A c e & Ta t e £ 3 5, Q u a y
Hair K AT E
M I D D L E TO N
accessories
Bad hair day?y?
Pin your locks
ks into
a quick up-do
do
with bejewelled
lled
clips, or sweep
eep
back greasy
strands with
a pretty
hairband.
£ 2 5, L u l u G u i n n e s s £ 24, R i x o

£ 4 0, Va l l e & V i k £ 2 f o r s e t, M o n k i £ 6 , C l a i r e’s

£ 26 ( p a r t o f m a s k a n d s c r u n c h i e
£19. 5 0, O l i v e r B o n a s £ 5, C l a i r e’s s e t ), L o v e r s + F r i e n d s a t R e v o l v e

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£28, Orelia £6, M onki £ 49, Q u a y

Neck
k wear
In a sweatpants-and-
atpants-and-
a-jumper er rut? Add
a necklace
ace that
catchess the light,
or a statement
atement
collar. Et voilà,
a real outfit.
Almost.
st.

ELLIE
DELPHINE £ 9.9 9, T K M a x x £14 .9 9, Z a r a

PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES

£ 2 9.9 9, T K M a x x £ 3 0, O m n e s £ 2 0, M o n k i
EL AINE
W E LT E R OT H

Earrings
Big, bold ear bling
frames your face
and gives your
complexion a
boost. Not that
any of us
need that
now…
*pours
fifth
£ 27,
2 & Other Stories £10,
£ 0 C l a i r e’s

cup of
coffee*

£ 8 9,
9 Missoma £12.9 9, T K M a x x £19.9 9, H & M S t u d i o

£75, R o u j e £ 25, L u l u G u i n n e s s £ 61
61, L PA a t R e v o l v e

£ 3 0,
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earn
WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER

Time to stop
working for free
If you’ve ever found yourself working a bit
longer than you should, you’ll know the
hours really add up. New research*
suggests we’re working an extra 42 days
per year just by starting early and finishing
late. Ouch. To avoid taking on too much,
Paul Naha-Biswas of recruitment firm Sixley
recommends letting your manager know
“what other work you’d have to drop to
take on a new task, or the extra resources
you require to complete it successfully”.
Having the confidence to communicate that
you don’t have capacity – if you do it
professionally – can enhance your
reputation, he adds, because it shows
awareness of time management. Now all
you have to do is dream about how you’re
going to spend the hours you get back...
WORDS DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT. PHOTOGRAPH JUAN MOYANO/STOCKSY.
*HITACHIPERSONALFINANCE.CO.UK

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 57
Money
moves
to make

NOW
earn

Does your bank balance feel


permanently out of control? It
It’s
time to switch things up. Mak
Make
these smart financial tweaks
and future you will be grateful ›

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 59
Do you only log on to Ideally, you’ll have more coming in than allow you up to £250 without charging
going out, but don’t worry if that’s not the interest.† If you’re struggling with debt,
your online banking case. Then, take a look at where you can contact StepChange (Stepchange.org
if you really have to? cut back. Start with bills, such as your
phone or broadband. Shop around for
or 0800 138 1111) for free debt advice
and help with solutions.
Hand over your debit card with your fingers a better deal using comparison sites like
crossed? We know, turning a blind eye to Uswitch or Compare The Market. Free BOOST YOUR SAVINGS
your finances feels much easier than getting apps like Snoop and Emma link with your
to grips with them. But if the last 12 months current account and can help you identify With your budgeting plan sorted,
have taught us anything, it’s that having better deals. Emma will analyse all your you’ll soon be ready to save – even
a plan (and some wriggle room) when it active subscriptions, alert you if prices are if you feel like you can’t right now.
comes to your money is No. Bad. Thing. creeping up, and highlight ones you don’t Your first aim? To build a slush fund. This
Especially as money worries can snake into use. Snoop works in a similar way, but is money you can use for unexpected life
all corners of our lives – 61% of adults also gives you money-saving tips, lets events – like a pandemic-induced job
aged 18 to 34 admit they stress about you know if there are any voucher codes scare, dare we say, or a new laptop when
their financial situation,* which in turn available, and finds cheaper utilities, yours gives up. These are savings to
impacts their overall wellbeing and even broadband or mobile phone deals. cushion life’s blows. Money experts say
their abilities at work. Being permanently Once you’ve cut your spending back this should be around three to six months’
skint, not having savings to fall back on,
or being unable to afford big-ticket items
has a tangible impact. And while you may “EVEN WITH A STRONG BUDGET, WE
think you’re not in a position to future-proof
your finances, there’s always something
you can do. From budgeting to saving and ALL NEED A CUSHION SOMETIMES”
(whisper it) investing, here are the money
shifts to make now to ensure you’re set to an amount that is below your income, income, but if that’s not possible, think
up for whatever comes your way. try the 50/30/20 rule of budgeting. On about what would be – perhaps a month’s
payday, split your money up into three rent, or two months’ living costs? Once
pots: 50% goes on essentials (bills, food you’ve got that, start building saving pots
and travel to work, for example), 30% is for your life goals – a house deposit,
START BUDGETING for wants (clothes, make-up and eating your first car or a much-needed holiday.
out), and 20% goes towards savings. Depending on where you bank, you can
Wait, it’s not as snoozy as it sounds. Don’t panic if this rule isn’t working create dedicated saving pots for each aim.
A budget is simply an understanding of just yet. You can mix it up: if you can Starling Bank allows you to put up pictures
what you earn and spend, and creating only afford to save 10% of your income, of your goals and add money to different
one is the most important thing you can start with that, then increase it over time. pots when allocating your savings. 
do to get your finances under control. Banks like Starling and Monzo make this Save your money in an account with a
To start, list all your expenses (rent, approach easier by letting you set up good interest rate – they’re scarce at the
bills, food, entertainment, gym) and your separate savings pots and automatically moment, so it could be that your current
income. Money Advice Service’s budgeting transferring money for you on payday. account offers a competitive rate, or look
tool (Moneyadviceservice.org.uk) can help. into a fixed-rate account, where you don’t
“Be honest about your spending,” says SWITCH YOUR OVERDR AFT
touch your money for a year or two in
Lisa Conway-Hughes, financial advisor exchange for more interest. Compare bank
and co-founder of Ladies Finance Club UK. Even with a strong budget, we all accounts and rates at Moneyfacts.co.uk.
need a cushion now and then. But
if you dip into an ove
overdraft, you could START INVESTING
be slapped with intere
interest charges as high
as 40%. Ouch! So make ma sure you only While saving is always a good idea,
use an overdraft if it iis an emergency once you’ve been doing it a while, you
and there is no alternative. If you might notice that you haven’t gained
find yourself
yourse in that position much interest, if any. “If you put £10 per
regularly, move to a bank
regula month into a standard savings account, in
with an interest-free
wit five years, you would have contributed
buffer – First Direct £600 and have £616, assuming an annual
or M&S Bank, for interest rate of 1%, which is generous in
example, will the current climate,” says Myron Jobson,
How to save personal finance campaigner at Interactive
– in spades
(OK, not
literally)
earn

Investor. But here’s the thing: as the cost SAVE INTO A PENSION
a sofa on finance to bagging your first
of living increases, your money needs to mortgage). If it’s bad, you won’t get the
grow with it. If it doesn’t, then what you’re We know, pensions are about as best deals and could even be rejected.
saving will be worth less in years to come.  sexy as getting a root canal, but So bite the bullet: it’s better to know your
The solution? Investing. “If you invested starting young is super-savvy. Why? score before applying for credit, because
£10 a month, in five years it would be “Someone earning £25,000 and aiming a rejected application will leave a mark on
£683, assuming an average return of 5% to retire at 65 could bag a retirement pot your report and reduce your score further.
WORDS KALPANA FITZPATRICK. PHOTOGRPAPHS GETTY IMAGES, GALLERY STOCK. *SCHRODERS

per year,” continues Jobson. “In 10 years, of £169,000 if they start in their twenties,” Check your credit score for free using
PERSONAL WEALTH MONEY & MIND REPORT. †SUBJECT TO STATUS. ‡NUTMEG REQUIRES AN

you’d have £1,559.” And you don’t have says Jess Miller, pensions and investment Experian, Equifax or TransUnion. The
to be a city banker to start – in fact, you expert at Schroders. But if they start in score is colour-coded, and if yours is
can start with £1. If you’ve never invested, their thirties, this drops to £93,000.” in the red zone, it’s a warning sign that
INITIAL INVESTMENT OF £500, BUT YOU CAN START WITH £1 ON WEALTHIFY

start small with an app like Moneybox, Anyone over 22 who earns over £10,000 you need to take action to improve it
which can round up your spare change will be automatically enrolled in a work before applying for any credit. “Simple
and invest it for you. So if you buy a pension scheme, and your employer will steps like registering to vote or reducing
£2.45 latte, it’ll shift 55p into investments. add money as well as you. Free money? your debt will improve your score,” says
Once you’ve built up your confidence, From your boss? Yep. The minimum you James Jones, head of consumer affairs
move to other platforms and start paying have to pay into a pension is 5% of your at Experian. “Missed bill payments will
in a regular amount. Some providers, like income, and your employer has to pay in reduce your score, so set up direct debits
Nutmeg and Wealthify, assess your attitude 3%. But if you pay in more, your employer for them.” Experian’s “Boost” service
to risk and your goals, then automatically will match it – so that’s extra free cash. also makes sure that payments to your
create an investment portfolio for you.‡ multimedia accounts, like Netflix or
Investments can go up and down, CHECK YOUR CREDIT SCORE
Spotify, count towards your credit score,
depending on how markets perform, so be while Natwest is rolling out a bill-splitting
in it for the long-term – at least five to 10 This number shows lenders your app called “Housemate” this year, which
years. This gives your money a chance to reliability when applying for credit allows your rent payments to count
grow and outride any dips in the market. (that includes everything from buying towards building your score. ◆

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 61
relax
CHILLING OUT NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD

Time to
spring-clean
You know what they say about “tidy
house, tidy mind”? Well, there’s actually
a lot of truth in it. Living in a cluttered
home means you’re likely to have higher
levels of the stress hormone, cortisol.*
A recent study† also revealed that 61%
of people feel “de-stressed” after tidying
up, while 54% said it leaves them feeling
relaxed. Ready, set, declutter…
*PERSONAL AND SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY BULLETIN †OFFERUP 2019 SPRING CLEANING REPORT
WORDS DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT. PHOTOGRAPH NATALIE JEFFCOTT/STOCKSY.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 63
is S a tu rn
return?
o r t, it ’s t h e a s t ro l o gi c al r e
In sh a s o n yo u h a ve a lif e
e t we ntie s.
s i n your lat A s trolo g y
c r isi Ta r o t b e
ex p e r t Ke r r y
,A K A l l a , ex plai
Wa r d n s t his p l a n e t a r y p e r io d

Y
ou know that “on edge” feeling many of us
get as we approach 30? Well, it’s not just
panic about getting older – the stars could
also be to blame. The culprit is “Saturn
return” which, put simply, is Saturn returning to
the same zodiac sign it was in when you were
born. It takes about 29.5 years for this particular
planet to complete one full orbit around the sun,
which is why we don’t encounter this astrological
event until our late twenties. Its echoes, though,
can be felt into our early thirties, as it can take
up to three years to unfold. But why does it make
Y
us have a meltdown? Saturn is the “taskmaster” IDENTIT LOVE CAREER
planet, a cruel-to-be-kind coach. During Saturn
return, you will face your demons and reflect on If you’ve been kidding This emphasis on self and The more you’ve messed
yourself that you want your place in the world about in your twenties,
your path so far. All the wrong turns and missed
one thing from your life, means love is not top the louder a wake-up call
opportunities you’ve endured in the preceding 30 but you actually want priority. It’s not that you Saturn return can be.
years seem to resurface, meaning some of us feel another, you’ll realise it won’t fall in love, marry or Irresponsibility and partying
low around this time. The trick is to focus instead on now. Big questions will start a family during Saturn are not on this planet’s
the lessons you can learn from the past. Saturn is come up, like “What do I return, but romance is not agenda; it’s about your
here to make you acknowledge, understand and contribute?”, “What is my what this planet is nudging duties and contribution.
legacy so far?”and “What you to think about. Saturn If you identify what’s
process your negatives so they don’t trip you up
role do I want in life?” return makes us more important to you, and what
any more. It also serves to help you acknowledge Set some time aside for pragmatic. Does your you want to do with your
that time and opportunity are not endless – if it inspiration and relaxation, partner share your values? life, then Saturn will be your
could talk, Saturn would say, “Get serious about and a new, more authentic What kind of partner will hype girl. Find your niche,
your life and take control of where it’s going.” picture will emerge. help you fulfil your aims? occupy it and own it.
relax

o e s this mean
How to find your
t d for
Saturn sign
h a y
Look up the date below that’s on
or before your birth, e.g. if you w

ou
were born on 4th May 1997, SATURN

So
your sign’s Aries.* Then discover IN SCORPIO
Saturn return represents a

?
what that means to the right.
transformation in your identity and
lifestyle. Money, power and sex
Born on or after: 29/11/82 are all up for review. At the end
Saturn return sign: Scorpio of these years it’s likely you’ll
SATURN IN ARIES be heading in a new
SATURN
Born on or after: 6/5/83 A tendency to take control direction.
IN SAGITTARIUS
Saturn return sign: Libra can mean you miss opportunities A wanderlust often emerges for
Born on or after: 24/8/83 to go further faster by garnering Saturn in Sagittarius around this
Saturn return sign: Scorpio the support of others. This will time. Perhaps you yearn to live in
change as you mature and a different place, or to see the
Born on or after: 16/11/85 learn to temper your drive world. If you’ve been
Saturn return sign: Sagittarius by listening to other travelling, you might
SATURN IN LEO
people. want to nest.
Leos love to indulge in the
Born on or after: 13/2/88
high life, but this sign in Saturn
Saturn return sign: Capricorn
can hint at excess driven by
Born on or after: 10/6/88 self-doubt and performance
Saturn return sign: Sagittarius anxiety. You’ll spend this time
finding your confidence, and
Born on or after: 12/11/88 balance between work
SATURN IN TAURUS SATURN
Saturn return sign: Capricorn and play.
Taureans value quality and IN CAPRICORN
Born on or after: 6/2/91 luxury, but are you living the right This combination can represent
Saturn return sign: Aquarius life to manifest these dreams? A men, so this time might be a call
natural laziness can be your worst to address any issues with male
Born on or after: 21/5/93 enemy. Visualise your ambitions figures. It can also mean an
Saturn return sign: Pisces and use your determination overdose of ambition, so ease
to make them SATURN IN VIRGO the pressure you put on
Born on or after: 30/6/93 happen. yourself.
Saturn return sign: Aquarius Virgos are living, breathing
versions of the Saturn planet’s
Born on or after: 28/1/94 energy: conscientious, ordered
Saturn return sign: Pisces and critical. Maybe too much, as
perfectionism can be an issue.
Born on or after: 7/4/96 You’ll learn how to accept
Saturn return sign: Aries your own and others’
SATURN IN GEMINI SATURN
Despite Gemini being the flaws. IN AQUARIUS
Born on or after: 9/6/98
Saturn return sign: Taurus zodiac’s greatest talker, when it’s Aquarians love looking at the big
in Saturn, it can mean you rarely picture – the state of the world and
Born on or after: 25/10/98 voice your own opinions – and where they can make it better.
Saturn return sign: Aries follow others’ agendas. Your Campaigning for global issues,
confidence to act on your or finding solutions to them,
Born on or after: 28/2/99 own desires will grow will become more
Saturn return sign: Taurus SATURN IN LIBRA
at this time. important.
COSMOPOLITAN.COM/UK/ENTERTAINMENT/HOROSCOPES-MONTHLY/

Librans are all about


PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. *FOR OTHER DATES OF BIRTH, GO TO

Born on or after: 9/8/00 partnerships and collaboration,


Saturn return sign: Gemini but in Saturn, the compromises it
takes to maintain a relationship
Born on or after: 15/10/00 are revealed. You may struggle
Saturn return sign: Taurus to find the balance,, but it’ll
worthwhile
be wor hwhile
Born on or after: 20/4/01 SATURN IN CANCER learning.
lear ng. SATURN IN PISCES
Saturn return sign: Gemini You’ve constructed a tough
Compassionate, ethereal
shell to protect yourself. Thiss
Born on or after: 3/6/03 PPisces awakens an interest in
can manifest as extreme shyness, ss,
A25828418/SATURN-RETURN/

Saturn return sign: Cancer healing, medicine, psychology


he
a reluctance to leave home,
or esoteric arts. Your natural
o
Born on or after: 16/7/05 and defensiveness. It’s time
inclination to put others ahead
in
Saturn return sign: Leo to realise there is a safe
of yourself is also up for
place for you to
Born on or after: 2/9/07 review. Stop being
contribute.
Saturn return sign: Virgo so passive.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 65
relax

O N LY
THE

scone recipe 2

you’ll 1
Stir in the sugar
and sultanas
and mix to

EVER need
combine.
Preheat your oven to
200ºC (180ºC fan). Sift
the flour into a large mixing
bowl. Add the butter and rub
Fancy yourself an impromptu afternoon with your fingertips until the
tea? Then whip up this classic butter dissolves and the
mixture resembles fine 3
breadcrumbs. In a jug, mix together
half of the beaten eggs
and the buttermilk. Pour into
the flour mixture and lightly
mix until everything has come
together. You might want to
use your hands to do
this as the mixture
hardens up.

4
Lightly sprinkle a
worktop with flour and
gently knead the dough until
smooth. Roll out to about 2.5cm
thick. Grab a round cookie
cutter to cut out your scones.
Don’t have one? Use the
floured rim of a wine

S
glass instead. 5
cones are as
quintessentially Stamp out your scones
MAKES 8
British as the two at a time, re-rolling the
INGREDIENTS mixture gently each time.
Queen, Coronation
RECIPE MATTHEW LOCKWOOD. PHOTOGRAPH ERIK BERNSTEIN

Continue stamping until you


Street, tutting and 450g self-raising have eight scones. Arrange
the Paul Hollywood flour them on a lined baking
handshake – but they 100g butter, cubed tray and brush each one
can be divisive. Do you 6 with the remaining
100g caster sugar
pronounce them “scown” beaten egg.
100g sultanas (you Bake your scones for
or “scon”? Does the can leave these out 12-15 minutes. They’re
cream come first or the ready when risen and
if you prefer) lightly golden. Serve with
jam? Whatever your 2 eggs, beaten clotted cream and
preference, the canvas 100ml buttermilk strawberry jam.
itself is easy to make, Clotted cream
with this foolproof recipe. and strawberry
jam, to serve

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 67
relax

4. WHAT’S MOST
M O S T LY A :
LIKELY TO STRESS
YOU OUT ABOUT THE MEME
YOUR GROUP QUEEN

Which
CHAT? With relatable GIFs
and memes at the
A No one gets my
ready, you’re the
Mean Girls reference
go-to for turning

group-text
(to be fair, it was from
“haha” to “OMFG
the bonus DVD).
RIP ME!!!”. Things
B A 30-minute silence would get real quiet

stereotype
after my “What’s real fast if you
everyone doing this weren’t constantly
weekend?” text. popping in, and
everyone knows it.

are you?
C Someone else leaving
the chat. I bet that
freedom tastes so good.

M O S T LY B :
S en d t h is to y our 5. WHAT ARE YOU
THE
M O M AG E R
W h a t sAp p gr oup, MOST LIKELY TO
You’re the Kris
IGNORE?
we d a r e y ou… A Anyone’s cute
Jenner of the
WhatsApp world
baby pics. How am – the only one with
I supposed to make the initiative and
fun of those? follow-through to
B I read every single keep things going.
message because If it weren’t for you,
that’s what friends some messages
are for (and they’re would just go
usually replying to un-responded-to,
something I said). and we can’t have
that, can we?
C Basically anything
that doesn’t require
a quick response.

1. AT ANY 3. WHAT DO YOU


M O S T LY C :
GIVEN MOMENT, RELY ON THE
HOW MANY GROUP CHAT FOR? THE LURKER
6. LOOK AT YOUR
NOTIFICATIONS In this thread,
A Distracting myself PHONE: WHAT’S
DO YOU HAVE? you’re like Kendall,
THE LAST THING
WORDS CARINA HSIEH. PHOTOGRAPH DANIELLE OCCHIOGROSSO DALY

from the utter banality


Shiv and Roman’s
A Zero. I’ll take any 2. WHAT GETS THE of everyday life. YOU TEXTED TO
mum Caroline in
possible opportunity FASTEST RESPONSE YOUR GROUP
B Updating people Succession. You
to ignore the things FROM YOU? THREAD?
on my daily activities, may not be in every
I should be doing. A Any text ripe for a meals, screenshots A A screenshot of episode (read:
B None, because the Kim K ugly-cry GIF. from my ex’s IG… an Insta post from almost none), but
past 10 messages @NotAllGeminis when you decide to
B When anybody is left C Making occasional
were from me. that felt relevant. make an obligatory
blue-ticked for more IRL plans. That’s it.
appearance,
C Loads – I can never than five minutes. That’s the answer. B “Have you guys read
everybody’s happy
be bothered to open any good books lately?”
C Someone sending to see that you still
my messages. Sorry. a text to make sure C I can’t scroll back give a damn.
I’m still alive. that far.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 69
eve
“A C C E P T A N C E R I G H T N O W
IS

She’s been in showbusiness since she was five years old,


but even Ashley Benson struggles with fame sometimes
Wo r d s LOT T I E L U M S D E N P h o t o g r a p h s R A M O N A R O S A L E S
rything ’’
celebrity

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 71
N OT LONG A FT ER Orange County – her father owned
grocery stores, while her mum
looked after Benson and her sister
P R E T T Y L I TTL E LI AR S E N D ED, Shaylene at home. Benson started
dancing professionally when she was
A S H L E Y B EN S O N TOO K A YEAR three (“Tap and ballet,” she recalls),
which then led to modelling in

time
dance catalogues, and by the age of
O F F. S HE D E SP ERAT ELY seven, she had been signed by Ford
Models. Soon she was landing TV
N E E D E D SO M E adverts and minor roles on shows
like The West Wing, and then at 14,
she won the role of Abby Deveraux

out.
on soap opera Days Of Our Lives. 
Her friends at school should have
been delighted for her success.
Instead, Benson was bullied. “Kids
can be mean and jealous,” she
remembers. “At the time, it wasn’t
cool to be on TV. Every week, I was
working on commercials and all the
kids would see me. I got bullied and
hated it. But I was really proud, and
it made me more determined to get
on a TV show. My parents said if I
did, I could be home-schooled. So
I tried and tried and tried, and when
Time out from Hollywood, from I did, it was the best day of my life.” 
the scrutiny that comes with fame, The break did wonders for her Landing a part on a mainstream
but most of all, from work. “I wanted self-confidence, and allowed her soap opera was exciting, especially
a break,” she tells me over the phone to focus on her priorities for her for her parents, who were lifelong
from LA. It’s lunchtime there, and future career. It was the same year fans. “At that point, my mum was
she and her boyfriend, rapper she became a founder of sunglasses taking me to set and it was funny
G-Eazy, are home after a morning company Privé Revaux with Jamie for me to meet people she grew up
hike. “Coming off a show after so Foxx and Hailee Steinfeld. She now watching. I didn’t know who any
long and doing TV continuously splits her time between LA and of them were!” Her time on the soap
throughout my whole life… I New York. Similarly, being forced opera was invaluable. “You film three
needed to take a mental break.” to slow down during lockdown episodes a day. It was crazy to be
It’s no wonder. When the final over the past year has given her thrown into that environment at a
episode of the teen drama Pretty another dose of much-needed young age. I wasn’t prepared for it.
Little Liars aired in June 2017, reflection. “I wrote two scripts I thought we’d do a couple of takes
Benson had filmed 160 episodes and am about to start filming one,” here and there, but you only get
across seven seasons over seven years. she says. “That’s super rewarding.” one take. So it made me learn to
She was exhausted, and decided to This year, she will also star in a new memorise my lines quickly. I was
relocate to New York. “It was the best film, The Birthday Cake, with Ewan completely intimidated.”
thing I ever did,” she says. “I didn’t McGregor. “It’s been interesting After three years on the show, she
work for a year and studied directors working on projects that I normally left to pursue other projects. She
I wanted to work with and looked wouldn’t have time to focus on.” landed various film roles, as well
at actresses who inspired me, who It’s hardly surprising that she as the part of Mia on teen show
came from TV and made it into enjoys the downtime. Benson, Eastwick. The day she discovered
film. I started to compartmentalise now 31, has been working almost that Eastwick wasn’t being
my wants and needs.” consistently in the industry since she recommissioned for a second ›
was five years old. She grew up in

72 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
THIS PAGE: T-SHIRT, SAINT LUIS. NECKLACES, DALMATA AND VITALY.
RINGS, JOHN HARDY AND MISHO. PREVIOUS PAGE: TOP, SAINT LUIS
celebrity
celebrity

season in 2010, she got a call from “N O BO DY S HO ULD personal life. But when she started
the producers of Pretty Little Liars. dating Delevingne in 2018 (they
“I didn’t think anything of it,” she G ET B UL LI E D F O R met on the set of the film Her Smell),
says. “I was a bit bummed that my her relationship came under a lot

love’’
show got cancelled. But then I WHO THE Y of scrutiny. She admits she finds
met with them, and a week later, the attention difficult at times.
I was in Canada filming the pilot. The hardest to deal with is “people’s
I thought it would be a successful opinions”, she says. “If gossip comes
show, but you never know. So for it out and stories are completely false,
to become what it was was crazy!”  what can you do? I’m not going to
Pretty Little Liars followed the lives It’s not about a gender or anything sit out there and be like, ‘This isn’t
of four high-schoolers whose clique like that. And I think that’s really true, this is what’s really happening.’
starts to fall apart when one of them important for people to understand. The most annoying part is having
disappears. It won multiple awards, There is no reason that somebody to sit back and be quiet while
and launched the careers of the likes should get bullied or talked about everybody talks about you and
of Lucy Hale and Shay Mitchell. or shut off for who they love. I think you have to deal with it. People
“I see that as my college years,” says acceptance right now is everything, can say whatever they want about
Benson. “We were together for seven and the more we can educate people me, but unless you know me, you
years, and I saw them more than my about these topics, the better it will don’t really know anything at all.”
own family.” She’s still very close become for everyone.” When she and G-Eazy – real
friends with Mitchell and her other Benson has always been extremely name Gerald Earl Gillum – were
co-star, Troian Bellisario, although private when it comes to her first spotted together last year, she ›
the pandemic has made seeing one
another difficult. “We all live by each
other,” she admits. “Minutes away.
So it’s very funny. I want to see them,
but I also have to be mindful right
now, even though I’m getting tested
weekly [for COVID-19]. It’s a scary
time for everyone. I’ve never met
Shay’s baby, and she’s like, ‘You have
to see her!’ They’re like my sisters
and they always will be.”
During its seven-year run, Pretty
OPPOSITE: DRESS, ULLA JOHNSON. NECKLACE, DALMATA. RINGS, JOHN HARDY. SOCKS, STYLIST’S OWN.

Little Liars covered some important


BOOTS, DR MARTENS. THIS PAGE: DRESS, EZGI CINAR. T-SHIRT, SAINT LUIS. JEWELLERY, MARTINE ALI

storylines, including Mitchell’s


character Emily coming out, which
has been highly praised for its
authenticity. Benson, who was
previously in a relationship with
model Cara Delevingne, says it’s
storylines like this that make her
proud to have been on the show.
“I’m not quite sure how many shows
had that before ours,” she says. “[It’s
important], especially in this day and
age, to just be your true self and not
feel judged by how your heart feels
and by who you are as a human
being, and who your soul connects
with. I certainly feel that way about
myself. It’s who I connect with.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 75
“ IF GO SS I P CO ME S OU T
A N D S TO R I ES A RE
received a backlash on Instagram
from fans accusing her of cheating
COM PL E TE LY FA L SE ,

what can
on Delevingne. Delevingne took
to her Instagram Stories to defend
her, saying, “To everyone hating on

you do?’’
@ashleybenson please stop. You
don’t know the truth, only her and
I do and that’s exactly how it should
be.” Benson remained silent. The
actress says she’s very careful when it
comes to what she shares about her
life. “I usually keep my relationships
private,” she says. “You obviously
can’t help if you get photographed
together. [But] it’s more sacred that
way. Those private moments are for
you and your partner, and I think it’s
best not to be over-exposed, and you
can really protect your relationship
if you’re not exploiting it.” 
At the time of going to press, there
were reports that Benson and G-Eazy
had split. But when we speak they
are very much together and she is
happy to open up a little. Just last
year she featured on his track All The
Things You’re Searching For. They also
did a cover of Radiohead’s Creep.
“That was a random thing,” she
laughs. “We’ve been doing a lot of
things together in quarantine. Who
knows if it will ever be released or
not, but we’ve done 30 songs! That’s into a car accident. I’m very lucky
been really nice, because when you that I could buy a place [in New
don’t have anywhere to go, it’s really York] and live both lives on either
nice to get something out of it. He’s coast. When I get sick of New
taught me a lot about music.” She York, I go to LA, and vice versa.”
spends a lot of time in the studio has been hounded by paparazzi. Benson tries not to let the
watching him. “We always talk about She’s used to it, but it’s irritating. attention get to her. She sees a
whether we’d release anything or “I can’t leave my house without therapist regularly to stay on top
not. Again, that’s really nice for us getting followed every day,” she of her mental health. “Therapy is
to have for ourselves.” says. “I don’t want photos, and it’s good. I believe in it very strongly. It’s
They’ve also been doing regular annoying. It’s a complete invasion always good to talk with someone
date nights. “We do little jazz nights of privacy. In New York, I walk to about anything you’re dealing with,
– listening to jazz and pretending get my coffee and take the subway. whether it’s positive or negative. It’s
you’re in a restaurant. But you’re I never get bothered. If I do see some good to talk to a third party about
not, you’re at the dinner table. photographers, they’re so nice that what’s going on in my life.” Keeping
Anything to liven things up. You I’ll just give them a thumbs down a small group of friends has been
find ways to make it enjoyable.” and they’ll leave [me] alone. Whereas key, too. “I need to be surrounded
Even during lockdown, Benson here [in LA], they’ll harass you and by positive people. I have an
keep following you until you get
celebrity

Having her business, Privé


Revaux, on the side has allowed
Benson to be selective about what
she does. In 2019, the company
recorded net sales of around
£14 million, and it continues to
grow. “I always see myself acting
for sure, and producing,” says
Benson. “[But] I always want to
have different companies under my
belt, because if I can make money
in that, then I am able to do the
indie films that I gravitate towards.”
Moss isn’t the only Hollywood
actress who has been pivotal in
Benson’s career. Before we speak,
I notice that Jennifer Aniston has
liked nearly every single one of
Benson’s Instagram posts. She
chuckles, “It’s so funny! We talk,
we’ve been trying to get dinner
since before the pandemic. We
have lots of mutual friends in
common and we talk here and
there.” Does she lean on the likes
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Witherspoon, and her, and different


people that I’ve come to know –
we’re not best friends, [but we] see
each other at functions,” she says.
“Just seeing how they’ve handled
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themselves, and how normal they


are having been in the industry
Pretty Little Liars and Spring Breakers since they were young – the two
[the 2012 crime film Benson starred of them are so gracious and warm
in with James Franco and Selena and welcoming, and it’s always
amazing core group. That’s the best Gomez]. I think she’s fucking a good thing to see them. I look
thing that’s come out of quarantine, incredible,” says Benson. “We got up to them very much.”
having this very solid foundation talking. She was like, ‘What do you So, given how selective Benson
of friends who have my back, and want to do after finishing Pretty is about what projects she takes on
I have theirs. It’s really nice to have Little Liars? When I was on Mad Men, these days, I wonder what it takes
that support for all of us.”  I didn’t know.’ She gave me a lot of to grab her interest work-wise. “I love
Since finishing Pretty Little Liars, advice on how to break the mould of to be challenged,” she says. “If I sit
Benson’s focus has been indie films, staying in the same lane, acting-wise, on my arse and pick things that
like Her Smell, which is where her and taking risks and saying no to I could do with my eyes shut, it’s
passion lies. It was her co-star on the most things. So we really gelled on not satisfying for me.” With two
latter, Elisabeth Moss, who got her that.” Moss then invited Benson to be of her own films in the works and
the role in the film after a chance a part of the film. “I was like, ‘OK, I’m music potentially on the way, not
meeting. “I met Elisabeth in Cannes never going to hear from her again.’ to mention her entrepreneurial side
at a birthday dinner and she was I was filming Her Smell a year later.” hustle, nobody can accuse her of
telling me that she was a fan of sitting on her arse, that’s for sure. ◆

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 77
78 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
read

PEOPLE
o f t he
PANDEMIC
One year ago we entered into the first lockdown. Collectively, we’ve
experienced a national trauma, the impact of which will be felt for
years. But what effect has it had on individuals? We spoke to nine
people, all uniquely touched by the pandemic, to find out

A s t o l d t o C AT R I O N A I N N E S, C YA N T U R A N & A L I C E S N A P E

S
ometimes, with our 24/7 access since, on 23rd March, we were told
to news, the endless feed that to “stay at home, save lives”. The
changes by the minute, it’s months that have followed have
easy to lose sight of the realities taken their toll in so many ways that
behind each story. To forget that, it would be impossible to zoom in
accompanying tales of packed-out (pun, unfortunately, intended) on
hospitals, rising infection rates and every single angle, so we have
the plummeting economy, there assembled a group of people who
are real people living among the have had a remarkable year within
newspaper ink. A year has passed the crisis. Here are their stories. ›
“ YOU HAD TO CRY. THIS ISN’T
A NORMAL SITUATION”
Rebecca Hunter, 30, is a nurse on a respiratory
ward at the Northumbria Emergency Care Hospital

My first day, in my first ever conditioning on in case it was


nursing job, was when spreading the virus, one of the
COVID really exploded. senior managers sent us cans
It was early April, and almost of pop to cool down with. They
every patient on my ward – which were his treat, on his day off.
had previously been mostly for As a team, we all made the
those with long-term lung decision that we would never let
conditions – was in the very someone die on their own. I’m
worst stages of the virus. They so proud that we’ve kept to that.
were all hooked up to oxygen I remember one week we were
machines. Many were dying each so short-staffed and a dying
day and I’d be with them at the woman needed care. But there
end. It’s impossible not to get was no one to tend to her, apart
attached; there was the woman from Cheryl, a colleague who
who – as she died – listened to had lost her own husband to the
her son-in-law sing You Are My virus. Because she was grieving,
Sunshine over Zoom. Straight we’d kept her away from end-of-
after, with no time to pause, I life patients. But she decided she
had to go to the next bed, where had to be there for this woman.
another man was dying. I read She said, “This lady needs me.”
out messages from his family as The courage that must have
he squeezed my hand. I couldn’t taken still astounds me.
help but cry. “It’s OK, pet,” he The second wave, in winter,
said to me. “I’ve had a nice life.” was worse than the first: we
At first, I was hard on myself knew more, but it was much
for letting my emotions show. I’d busier. There have been so
try to limit my grief to the drive many points when pretty much
home. But as the months went all the beds in intensive care
by, even my toughest colleagues have been full – that’s a lot of
would break down. You had to. pressure on a team working in
I came to realise that as long an already intense environment.
as I can do my job – and I can, That’s what many people don’t
very well – then it’s OK to cry. understand: even if you’re not
This isn’t a normal situation. frightened of catching the virus
In all honesty, I don’t know yourself, the measures are there
how I coped during that first to protect the NHS. I never
wave. Little things helped, like want to scare people but, with
the friend who texted me daily conspiracies going around, it’s
– with no expectation of a reply. important to share the reality
But mostly it was witnessing how of what I see day in, day out.
incredible people are, and how Despite everything, I am
we come together in a crisis. positive. Living through this has
My colleagues were so smart: made me so grateful for what
learning on their feet about how I have. I can’t say it hasn’t been
to adapt and what treatments traumatic but – and I know this
XXXXXXX XXXXXXX

were seeing success. On one of sounds fluffy – I can go for a


the hottest days of the summer, walk and feel happy. I appreciate
when we couldn’t have the air everything so much more now.
read

“I LOST MY JOB
AND MY HOME”
Rochelle,* 27, worked in
hospitality before the
pandemic struck

I thought that 2020 was going to be


my year. My son was at nursery and I was
working as a bar supervisor at one of the
biggest stadiums in London. I was looking
forward to working hard, making more
money, and then… boom! Lockdown.
I was put on furlough and everything was “OUR GUESTS WATCHED OUR FIRST
so uncertain – my return-to-work date just
kept getting pushed back. But I knew they
DANCE OVER ZOOM”
weren’t going to let huge crowds of people
Jann Tipping, 34, and Annalan Navaratnam, 32, a
back into the stadium. I started to apply for
more jobs, but I was up against thousands of London nurse and doctor, got married in their hospital chapel
others. I just tried to keep myself in the right
mindset and trust that a job would come
along – even if it wasn’t the sort of role I’d
original one didn’t arrive on time.
have done before. But then I’d get emails JANN
PREVIOUS SPREAD: PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. THIS SPREAD: PHOTOGRAPHS STOCKSY, REBECCA CARPENTER

saying I was overqualified! It helped knowing


As lucky as we have been, we’ve
there were so many others like me – it wasn’t Our wedding was set to be a come through a lot – our jobs have
that we didn’t want to work, we just couldn’t. massive celebration. My family were been incredibly tough, and we’ve lost
There were no jobs. I concentrated on travelling over from Northern Ireland people we love. But we’ve made a
keeping myself sane and those around me and Annalan’s from Sri Lanka. It was life for ourselves out of really hard
healthy – my mum was recovering from breast set for the Bank Holiday in August, conditions. I’ve come to realise that
cancer and my dad has a heart condition.
so everyone was going to make a real wherever Annalan is, that’s home.
We also lost my grandma in August. Having
to grieve and support my dad when we
holiday of it. But very early on in the
crisis, we realised we would have to
PHOTOGRAPHY. ROCHELLE AND REBECCA PICTURES, POSED BY MODELS

couldn’t see each other was really tough.  


ANNALAN
Then, in September, I had to move out cancel. We still desperately wanted to
of my mum’s as my ex showed up – I had a marry each other, though – which is We got engaged in 2018 and we’d
non-molestation order out against him – so why, after chatting to the chaplain of been waiting so we could afford to
it wasn’t safe for me to be there any more. St Thomas’ Hospital, where we both have a huge day with everyone.
It meant I had to be placed in temporary
work, we arranged the ceremony for Without that, I just didn’t want to wait any
accommodation, making me homeless.
I did lose myself for a while. I’d been 20th April. The chapel is beautiful and longer. And we still managed to include
trying to be so positive but it was a lot has been part of the hospital for 150 our family and friends – we sent a bottle
to take on. Slowly, I’m getting my happy years, and we were able to have two of champagne to each household and
back. I had to keep smiling for my son. witnesses: a nurse I job-share with, everyone made speeches over Zoom.
and Rebecca, an NHS volunteer and We even did our first dance on camera!
Rochelle has been working with one of my oldest friends, who is also, It’s been a testing year – not just for us,
homeless charity Beam. To help handily, a wedding photographer! She but for everyone – but I know if it wasn’t
someone like her get back on helped with everything, even finding for Jann it would have been so much
their feet, go to Beam.org a wedding dress for me when the worse. With her, I feel indestructible. ›

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 81
Xxxxxx

“I GRIEVED FOR MY DAD THROUGH A WINDOW”


Marty Cofie, a personal trainer from London, lost her dad to COVID in March 2020

My dad had only been ill for 48 I’ve felt lonely. I’ve isolated myself from Each morning in the shower, I write
hours before he died at home, with friends because I needed to process the “Dad” into the steam. That’s when I think
my mum by his side. We know now trauma. My neighbour occasionally drops of him. Every day is different: sometimes
that it was COVID. The government had round dinner or a bottle of wine. At one I wake up feeling positive, at other times
just enforced the first lockdown, so I’d point, between lockdowns, my closest there’s a drop in my stomach and I miss
given him a kiss a few days earlier. My friends came over with champagne and him so much it’s painful. I’m a personal
big, strong, politically fierce Ghanaian we danced in the garden – that they trainer, and one thing that’s kept me going
dad, who was a grafter and provider. were there was enough. is the free Zoom class I teach every day
How could the virus take someone so Losing Dad has broken us. COVID has at 9.15am. I started it to help others, but
vibrant in such a short space of time? exacted its price on my family, but since sometimes it’s my only contact with the
Our new world order meant that I couldn’t he died, I’ve gone back to the core values outside world. My Dad’s ashes are in an
hug my mum. All we could do was stand he taught me about being a good person. urn on his favourite armchair in the living
at her window, our hands together but I’m a better mum because of it. Being room of our family home. When the world
separated by a pane of glass. locked in a house together has given opens up, we’ll take him back to Ghana.
Almost a year has passed, and my me the space to understand my children But we still haven’t had a funeral. There
mum is still incredibly worried about beyond the relationship of mother and are too many of us, and in Ghanaian
the virus and passing it onto those she sons – we’ve become allies. And it’s culture, we must all be together – siblings,
loves, but I’ve been able to touch her brought my mum and me closer; we’ve had cousins, everyone in the family. We’ll have
since we formed a bubble. I felt the conversations we wouldn’t otherwise have a celebration as soon as we can – when
weight of her soul in my arms in that had. I don’t think I saw her as a woman there are no limits on numbers. It’s all
first embrace. I couldn’t unclench. before – she was always just my mother. or nothing, so we choose all.

82 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
read

“HE MONITORED
EVERYTHING I DID ”
Sophie,* 21, from Norwich, explains how
she left her abusive partner last year

When the first lockdown hit at the back of my head. In


in March 2020, I was living early May, we had yet another
with my boyfriend, Lewis,* petty argument and he threw
who had become increasingly a games controller at me and
emotionally abusive over the smashed a hole in my wall.
three years we’d been together. That night, I tried to leave
If I spent more than five minutes him, but he broke down and
in the bathroom, he’d knock cried uncontrollably.
on the door and ask if I was The week after, I snapped.
texting another guy. He made “The only reason I stayed with
a rule that I couldn’t go on you is because you made it
my phone after he fell asleep. too hard to leave,” I told him.
He’d monitor who I followed He stormed out of the flat,
on Instagram and wouldn’t let saying he was going to a
me eat what I wanted. As he bridge. I was terrified he’d
didn’t let me out much anyway, take his own life. When I
lockdown didn’t feel that couldn’t find him, I realised
different. Plus, he lived in my I had an opportunity, so I
room, but thankfully I shared hurried home and packed
my flat with a friend, Ryan,* a bag, but when I reached the
which made me feel a little door, Lewis was outside. I was
safer. I’d become increasingly screaming as he dragged me
isolated from my female friends. back upstairs. He went to the
When we first met, Lewis was toilet and my flatmate looked
funny and charismatic, and at me and said, “I’ll keep him
everyone liked him. It felt like talking, just go,” so I fled to my
a healthy relationship. But dad’s. Later, Ryan called and
slowly things started to change. said Lewis had assaulted him
If I wanted to meet friends after and wrecked the flat. Ryan had
he’d finished at work, it would phoned the police, and Lewis
turn into an argument. Soon, spent the night in a cell.
I felt iffy if I was going out Even though I felt sad it was
without him. I wanted to tell over, I was also overwhelmingly
my friends what was going relieved. Life changed for
on, but I couldn’t because everyone last year, but it’s been
Lewis would read my messages. torturous for women trapped
As the pandemic hit, the flat with abusers. I couldn’t shower
turned into a pressure cooker, alone or go to the toilet
PHOTOGRAPHS JAHNAY TENNAI, DAN PRINCE

waiting to blow. Lewis was at without a knock on the door,


his most abusive after drinking, so even those things feel like
and we’d started to drink more. freedom to me now. ›
When he became so frustrated
during arguments that words If you have been
weren’t enough, he would throw affected by domestic abuse,
drinks in my face, kick and push contact Women’s Aid;
me, and once hurled a glass Womensaid.org.uk

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 83
read

“ THE PANDEMIC STOLE TIME, BUT


FREEZING MY EGGS GAVE IT BACK”
Nikki Clare underwent three cycles of egg-freezing last year

I’d always naively assumed that was agony. I’d heard stories of women
the only thing stopping me from getting 25, so when the doctors told
having children was finding the me that I had six, I felt deflated, but
right partner. But then, at the age empowered. Six was better than none.
of 34, I discovered that my egg count In the first week of March, I had my
was very low. It was late 2019 and I’d second cycle, which brought nine
come out of a long-term relationship eggs, and I stood a great chance of
at the start of the year. After calling my getting to 20 in my last cycle.
mum as soon as I stepped out of the But then lockdown hit. Not only was
clinic, I decided, then and there, that I I left uncertain about when I’d be able
was going to freeze my eggs. I booked to complete my third cycle, but I was
three cycles – enough to extract the also unable to date. My hope is to have
20 to 24 eggs they recommend to children with a partner and never have
give a good chance of having a baby. to use my frozen eggs, and suddenly
I paid over £15,000 in total – costly neither was possible. The clock seemed
for an insurance policy that might to tick faster than ever.
not even pay out. My clinic reopened in July, but it
During my first cycle, I had to wasn’t until October that I finally had
inject myself with medication to my last cycle. While I grieve for the
stimulate my ovarian follicles, and time I haven’t been able to look for
once enough had grown, I then
administered a “trigger” injection
a partner, taking control has been
my silver lining. There’s no guarantee
“I LAUNCHED A
before going into the clinic for the my eggs will produce a baby, but NEW BUSINESS”
egg retrieval. Waiting to hear how where the pandemic stole time, freezing
many eggs had been extracted my eggs has given a bit of it back. Ellie Taylor, 23, from
Sandwell, set up Blossoms
Activity Farm in March

I have always wanted to work with


animals. I studied animal care and then

PHOTOGRAPHS JAHNAY TENNAI, MARYAM WAHID, JAMES GLOSSOP. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED.
worked in vet practices for a bit before
coming up with the idea of launching a
farm where children could get hands-on
experiences with animals. The Prince’s Trust
gave me funding and advice, and I began
to search for land in January 2020. But
everything fell through when COVID hit

YOU CAN FIND BETH ON YOUTUBE BY SEARCHING FOR “BETH CLYDE”


– I lost my land and all my animals had to
live in different places. At one point, I had
10 chinchillas in my living room!
It was tempting to give up, but I decided
to launch a mobile business, bringing
animals into schools, care homes and kids’
parties. Of course, that’s been really hard
as well – and is impossible to do when we’re
in a full lockdown. I’ve got 18 animals that
need to be fed and cared for, and as it’s a
new business, I’m not eligible for furlough
schemes. But in August last year, I was able
to work, in full PPE. All the animals are in
one place now, too. It’s amazing seeing
everyone’s faces. Bringing animals to people
has added a lot of joy to a really tough year.
“GOING THROUGH
CHEMO IN LOCKDOWN
WAS TOUGH”
Beth Clyde, 21, from Glasgow, was
diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma less
than a week before the first lockdown

I’d been having bad not knowing what to


chest infections for expect and having to
months. I was also enter alone. But as time
absolutely exhausted, just went on I got to know the
struggling through my life. nurses, who would sit and
My doctor had tried all chat with me – I learned
sorts of different things – all about their lives and
from antibiotics to vitamin they learned about mine.
injections – but none I was also relieved that
of them were working. they now knew what
It was during one of these was wrong with me
injections that the nurse and could treat it.
commented on my cough, Because chemotherapy
thinking there was a depletes your immune
chance it was COVID. This system, I had to shield
was around March 2020, for four months while
and so much was still living with my mum.
unknown about the virus I couldn’t see friends
that I was sent for a chest or family. But, in a
X-ray. That showed I had way, that made some
fluid on my lungs, so moments easier – if I’d
I had to pack a bag and been able to see them
be admitted to hospital it would have got really
straight away. emotional and that would
After three weeks of tests have been so draining.
I received my diagnosis. I could just use the time
I had stage-two Hodgkin to give in to whatever my
lymphoma, a type of body needed – I slept a
blood cancer. I’d never lot. I also began to open
heard of it. I didn’t even up on social media about
know it was cancer when my illness, connecting
I first heard the words. As with others going through
I couldn’t have visitors, my cancer, and eventually set
phone was on loudspeaker up my YouTube channel.
so my mum could hear It’s giving me a new
what the doctors were perspective – now I’m
saying. That was one of in remission, I’m feeling
the hardest parts, trying to more like myself again.
process all the information I’ve met so many other
I was being given without women my age going
anyone beside me. That, through what I did and
and when I first had to want to support them. ◆
go to chemotherapy.
XXXXXXX XXXXXXX

I was being treated as Beth was treated


an outpatient and was at the Beatson West Of
dropped off at the door, Scotland Cancer Centre

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 85
read

Can you
buy your way

sex
to a better

e s e x u al
life?
wellness industry is
worth
billion
Th t c a n y o u p u t a p s.
Bu r ice g
uara
ntee
on an
Pa i s l orgasm?
ey G
ilmou
r finds out…

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 87
s n e ck is long a massage for “performance and

It nd smooth, orgasm issues” spring to mind.


But as well as expensive sex toys
curved like a most of us couldn’t even dream
s w a n’ s . of being able to afford, the market
has also expanded in the opposite
direction. Poundland has launched
t senses when you’re As a sex and relationships its own range of sex toys, and you
journalist, I often think I’ve heard can even pick up a seven-speed bullet
near and glows it all. And then something new vibrator at your local Sainsbury’s
violet, whirring, then comes along that’s either completely now for a mere £8. With the thriving
genius or so eye-rollingly outlandish industry clearly here to stay, and
dispenses perfectly I find myself yelling at my computer. the sheer variety of products in all
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for manner of price ranges available,
warmed-up lube, right people doing what they want to does spending more on your sexual
into the palm of your improve their sex lives, as long as wellness actually guarantee success?
they’re safe – but the sex-toy market Can you buy your way to better sex?
hand. For about £145,* was valued at almost £20 billion in
The Pulse Warmer will
2019 and is on track to be worth T E G
THE GOLD
OLD
about £35 billion by 2027 (and S A N D A RD?
STA
STANDARD? D?
do what can easily be that was before last year’s lockdown Ness Cooper has spent nearly £3,000
saw sex-toy sales rocket). The more on her sex life in the past year. That
achieved by rubbing our sex lives become commodified, has included a Sybian (around £900)
the more likely it is that we’ll be – a sex machine with customisable
your hands together marketed stuff we don’t really need. vibrating dildos you can ride – and
a few times. If that’s not Sexual wellness is no longer a rechargeable Doxy Wand vibrator
confined to a dark corner of the (£149.99). She has also invested in
for you, how about a internet – sites like Cult Beauty new lingerie (“for regaining self-
and Boots now have their own confidence”) and a butt plug with
smartphone-controlled sex sections, so you can browse crystals inside (because she “needed
sex toy that uses sensors butt plugs while stocking up on some sparkle in 2020”). Ness
toothpaste. Goop – purveyor of the regularly attends a pelvic-floor Pilates
to track your body controversial jade vagina egg – now class for better sexual enjoyment
sells everything from a “date-night and is a committed OnlyFans
heat and pelvic-floor box” (about £195 for a vibrator, sex subscriber, changing the model she
movements as you gel, massage oil, chocolate and the pays every month to support sex
“This Smells Like My Vagina” candle) workers through the pandemic.
masturbate, charting your to a 14-carat gold-plated collar-and- It was after experiencing pelvic-
lead bondage set (about £400). floor issues and difficulty orgasming
orgasms in real time? There are also sexual wellness that Ness, now 31, decided to invest
That’ll also set you back apps like Emjoy, an “audio guide more in her personal sexual
for intimate wellbeing” with a wellbeing. “Years ago, I realised
around £145. Or what £10.99 monthly subscription fee, and how important it is when looking
Ferly, which promises to “radically at wellbeing overall,” she explains.
about a 24-carat gold- transform your relationship with “Sexual pleasure and satisfaction
plated G-spot vibrator? sex” from £12.99 a month. And all is an integral part of life for many.
this is before even mentioning the I’m willing to spend money on it,
For £10,000, it’s yours. range of workshops and treatments but I’ve had to really think about
that you can try (or at least you what can help me sexually.”
Clearly, our sex lives could pre-COVID-19) in order to So has her investment paid off?
have entered a new, “improve” your sex life. Tantric sex Does every penny spent equal
retreats for couples starting from mind-blowing orgasms? It’s not quite
more luxurious realm. about £650 and a £325 three-hour as simple as that. “I’ve found that
read

Overall, Ness has seen the biggest


payback on her investment when
she’s bought things for herself –
something she’s been
doing a lot more in the
“Essentially, all sex toys past year, as she’s no
longer in a polyamorous
out there have relationship and is
exploring dating on
the same components” her own. “What I buy
now is less couples-
focused and more
about me – something I probably
neglected for years,” she says.

W H O OWNS
WH
WHO O W NS YOUR
R G A S M ??
OR
ORGASM? ?
While I’ll groan when I see my
bursting inbox, full of bizarre NSFW
emails, I’m aware my job comes with
a great deal of sexual privilege. I’ve
been able to test and review sex toys
way beyond my budget, visit sex
resorts that would cost thousands,
and even attend a £100 workshop
that taught me how to use a strap-on.
I’ve been granted access to the luxury
sexual wellness world that I otherwise
couldn’t afford. Through this, I’ve
learned what’s worth a hefty price tag.
I’ve orgasmed with a £15 vibrator and
with a £200 one. And apart from
fancy packaging and millennial-pink
marketing campaigns, I’m not sure
the experiences were all that different.
Of the hundreds of toys I’ve tried,
only 10 remain in my under-the-bed
items that look pretty aren’t always While Ness generally likes the sex box. And of those, I only really
great. Often, sex toys made from sex-position pillows she has invested use five on regular rotation. I only
expensive materials can break really in, she has since found a cheaper have one vagina, after all. My old
easily, so they’re just decorative,” says alternative: mobility pillows, as faithful is a £29.99 glass dildo from
Ness. “There was one I wanted, due well as those designed to help with Lovehoney, and on the pricier end
to it being classed as a ‘luxury’ brand, back pain, which can be found in of the spectrum is my other favourite,
and it was meant to feel like oral sex supermarkets. “One of the pillows the Kip vibrator from female-owned
[when] applied to the clitoris. But isn’t great, as it took a bit of trial brand Dame Products. At about £60,
there was so much wrong with it, and and error getting the right shape it’s not cheap, but its materials are
it even damaged my skin. Thankfully, for my body’s contours and needs. high quality – and having spent hours
oral-sex simulators have improved But my cat loves it, at least… it’s now chatting to the brand’s founder about
since. I also bought a real silver a very expensive cat bed,” she tells me, her activism within the industry, I feel
vibrator that was terrible. Gold-plated laughing. Courses and workshops it’s a toy worth splashing out on. As
dildos were a big mistake too, as have always proved helpful for for the dildo, the glass is sustainable,
the vagina’s natural lubricant just Ness, too. “I always take something will last a lifetime, and – most
stripped the plating off over time.” away that helps me,” she says. importantly – is body-safe. i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 89
Because the truth behind this
ever-expanding industry is that it’s
unregulated. When it comes to sex
toys, I’ve learned not to judge by
price, as this doesn’t seem to be an
indicator of how well-made a product
is. As there is no specific sex-toy
regulation in the UK, some products
are made from potentially toxic
materials that have been linked to
breast cancer. I only use toys that
are made from body-safe materials
like medical-grade silicone, ceramic,
metal and glass. And while free porn
has never been more accessible, it is
undoubtedly problematic. Pornhub
had to remove millions of videos last
year after they were found to feature
victims of child exploitation and sex
trafficking, and 40 subjects are now
suing the site’s owners, MindGeek,
for about £59 million. I rely heavily
on my subscription to ethical porn
site XConfessions instead. Starting at
about £9 per month, this gives you
unlimited access to independent adult
films by director Erika Lust, in which
the actors are paid fairly and have
creative input. After all, nothing
can put you off your stride more
quickly than wondering whether
or not the actor you’re watching is
actually enjoying themselves.
Then there’s the question of who
we want our money to go to. “A lot
of sex tech for women is still being
designed by men,” says Alice Stewart,
a creative technologist and founder
of Touchy Feely Tech, a company that
makes DIY vibrator kits and holds
workshops to teach people how to
build their own sex toys. But the tide
is turning, with more female-founded
companies that have women and
non-binary people in design roles
popping up. Examples include
Dame Products, MysteryVibe and
Lora DiCarlo. “It’s like there’s two
sides to this industry,” says Stewart.
“There are sex positive, female-
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founded companies advocating for


marginalised folks out there, and
while they’re expensive, they’re using
read

very new tech that’s patented and account @freefroetic. “They’re not I’ve learned there’s no simple answer
for which they’ve won awards at necessarily issues that can be fixed as to whether you really can buy your
science and engineering trade fairs. with a lube, a sex toy or a new way to a better sex life. Some people
But then there’s the side serving the workshop. Although those things can do rely on sex toys to orgasm and
mainstream, with cheap products, absolutely help.” Instead, says Brown, experience sexual pleasure, and if
copying ideas and selling 100 options. we’d all be better off prioritising spending money makes them happier,
The world I prefer to be in is the “focusing on the internal part – who are we to judge? If they can drop
one that often comes at a premium.” whether you’re dealing with shame, a month’s salary on golden anal
This decision, Stewart is keen to body-image issues, boundary-setting beads, then that’s great. But cheap
emphasise, is a personal one, not or communication, [it’s vital to] toys are many people’s gateway into
because the smaller companies will reframe the way you think about the sex-toy world, and they certainly
guarantee a better experience. “An sex and its purpose in your life”. have an important role to play, too.
orgasm can also be achieved with Even when you do invest in your As the experts prove, investing time
a very simple, cheap vibrator,” she sex life, it’s important to know what and emotional energy – rather than
says. “Essentially, all the sex toys out you want from what you buy. “If money – in yourself is what’s most
there have the same components.” you’re not experienced using toys important for true sexual fulfillment.
or can’t be honest with yourself As with most other things we spend
BEN
BENEATH
N E AT H THE
T about what you want from a sexual our money on, a quick fix and a
IN
INVESTMENT
N V E S T M EN
NT experience, chances are you won’t have shopping spree don’t often actually
When we face a problem in our lives, the exhilarating time you hope for,” equal long-term happiness. In the
it’s tempting to open up Google, grab says psychosexual therapist Lohani same way that bankrupting yourself
our credit cards and simply throw Noor. “You can buy great sex toys or in order to buy a new designer
money at it. But just as owning the even the services of an accomplished dress won’t solve all of your body-
world’s best hand weights won’t sex practitioner, but only you can confidence woes, spending £100
automatically build muscle, spending decide whether or not you can let on a diamanté spanking paddle
yourself enjoy the sex doesn’t guarantee a rich and wild
you crave in the way sex life, either. Sexual wellness,
“Only you can decide you want. Ultimately, ultimately, comes from within. V
to let yourself enjoy communication is at
the foundation of every
the sex you crave” good relationship, and
investment in it will
enable you to reap the
*SOME PRICES HAVE BEEN CONVERTED AND WERE CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS. †SPEAK TO YOUR
PHOTOGRAPHS DAN FORBES/TRUNK ARCHIVE, LEO ACKER, STOCKSY. BULLET VIBRATOR ANNSUMMERS.COM.

heaps of cash on your sex life doesn’t rewards of mutually satisfying sex.” BEHIND THE SCENES
come with an orgasms-or-your-money- But this shouldn’t have to cost
back guarantee. “In reality, most of the anything, she says, championing Paisley Gilmour
challenges people have that prevent online quizzes as a way for people
them from enjoying a good and to explore their sexual desires. “Several of the experts I spoke to suggested a
brilliant hack: buy cheap versions of a few sex
flourishing sex life are psychological,Ӡ From my own experience and
toys to figure out what you like. Then, once you
says sex educator Portia Brown, who through talking with the sex-positive know, you can buy a more expensive version.”
shares insight on her Instagram people trying to change the industry,
DOCTOR IF YOU THINK OTHER ISSUES MAY BE CONTRIBUTING

BEST
BE ST S EX T OY
OYSS FO
FORR BE
BEGI
GINN
GI NNER
NN ERS
ER S
Lovehoney Happy Dame Products Lovehoney Magic Satisfyer Pro 2,
Rabbit, £79.99 Pom Flexible B u l l e t, £12 .9 9 £4 4 .95
This rechargeable vibrator V i b r a t o r, £ 6 9. 4 5  Most bullet vibrators at this  There’s no point spending
is great value for money.   Made from medical-grade price have one speed – this has loads on a clit-sucker toy if
It’s made from body-safe silicone, this waterproof, 10. It also takes A A A batteries you don’t know if you’ll like
waterproof silicone, and has flexible clit vibrator is worth – cheaper than the watch it. This one is a safe pair of
a really long battery life, too. spending a little extra on. batteries bullets usually need. hands in that department.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 91
The
puppıes
of
Instagram
Fashion, beauty, homeware… pets? Sirin Kale investigates
the murky world of online animal trading ›
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read

N e w b e s t f r i e n d £ 3,0 0 0 >
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VIEW PRODUCTS

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 93
She is a teacup chihuahua, family for breeder
recommendations or
whose Instagram account
has over 100,000 followers.
just three months old and visited their local shelter,
we now turn online. And
“If we had the time again,
we would have got a dog
oh-so-small. You could fit for those illicit puppy from the UK,” said Molly-
breeders, where better to Mae after Mr Chai’s death.
her in the palm of your hand, advertise than Instagram? After the news hit the press,
After all, it’s the social- Tiffany Chihuahuas &
or a reasonably sized pocket.  media platform where Pomeranians breeder Elena

i
aesthetics rule, making Katerova insisted that “Mr
it the ideal shop window. Chai was a healthy dog.
found her on puppies are safe and cared The hashtag #puppiesforsale I only work with trusted
Instagram – the for… but there’s a feeling in has featured on more people and have a small
account has 10,000 the pit of my stomach that than 840,000 posts.  network of reputable
followers, and tells me otherwise. But, as with so much of breeders who care for their
promises “the what we see online, all is dogs to the very highest
best chihuahua not as it seems. Molly-Mae standards.” While Mr Chai’s
puppies in the Take a walk in your local Hague and Tommy Fury death was found not to be
world,
w or worldwide delivery”. park and you’ll see them. learned this the hard way down to him being shipped
Tiny dogs pose in front Puppies everywhere. in June last year, when from Russia, Dr Samantha
of turquoise backdrops, We have, as a nation, their Pomeranian puppy, Gaines of the RSPCA says
or on pink fluffy cushions. gone absolutely wild for Mr Chai, died from health the Instagram puppy
The images are hashtagged dog ownership. As the defects just six days after he market is of great concern. 
#puppiesofinstagram and coronavirus pandemic arrived with the couple. Mr “There are people out
#puppiesforsale. I send a swept the country, many Chai was imported from there who know how much
DM to the account’s owner. people bought puppies, Russia by Cheshire-based people want puppies,” she
“She’s £2,500,” she tells reasoning that it would be breeders Tiffany says. “And they are taking
me, “delivery included. She’s a good time to raise them, Chihuahuas & advantage of that.” She
still small, so I can book as they’d be working from Pomeranians, explains that many of these
delivery now and she’ll be home. Google searches for puppies – like the adorable
with you within a month.” “buy a puppy” increased teacup chihuahua I was
She sends me a video of the by 115% after lockdown offered on Instagram –
dog next to a hairbrush for measures were announced will most likely come
size – the hairbrush dwarfs this time last year. Puppy from puppy farms. “They
her. “She’ll be sent to the prices spiked: data from the will have been reared
UK by car, with a nanny,” Dogs Trust reveals that the in poor conditions –
I’m promised. “Where asking price for sought-after meaning they may have
from?” I ask. “Ukraine,” she breeds including chow health issues – before
responds. “It will take four chows, dachshunds, pugs being separated from
to six days.” I’m also told and French bulldogs their mum and siblings
she’s up to date with her shot up after the first at too young an age, and
vaccinations, and will be lockdown, too. The exposed to stressful
cared for en route to the average price for transportation,” says Dr
UK, in hotels.  a pug in October Gaines. “What the buyer
I ask to see a video of the was £1,220, ends up with is a puppy
puppy with her mother, compared to £684 that hasn’t had the
to see them interacting. pre-lockdown, best start in life. They’re
It never arrives, and when while French opening themselves up
I chase the seller, she goes bulldogs went for to significant vet bills,
quiet. I ask about the £2,128, up from £1,251. and a lot of heartache.”
conditions the chihuahua Whereas once prospective Not to mention the
is being kept in – but again, dog owners might have Molly- Mae
considerable hurt inflicted
silence. I want to assume the asked friends and H a g u e’s on the animal itself.
puppy died
last June
read

unscrupulous puppy dealers Dougan, 25, a property


to source animals from developer from
eastern Europe, where Buckinghamshire. “But it
regulations are more lax. was always one of those
According to Kennel Club ‘one day, maybe’ things”
data, 18% of puppies found – until COVID-19 hit,
via social media get sick and suddenly Jess had
or die before their first time to rear a puppy at
birthday, and 24% of home on her family farm.
owners experienced In April, she messaged
complications when buying an Instagram account
their dogs via social media, that advertises itself as
including not receiving the a high-end supplier of
animal’s medical history, Poms, and asked if there
being overcharged, the were any puppies available.
D r e a m r o o m i e £ 2,0 0 0 > dog becoming unwell, or The owner of the account
having behavioural issues. responded straight away,
and sent some pictures
RED FLAGS of puppies via WhatsApp.
I show Dr Gaines my “I went through as many
conversation with the tagged photos as possible
chihuahua Instagram on her account,” says Jess.
account. “I would be “I thought that was me
VIEW PRODUCTS
hugely worried about doing my research.” Jess
buying a puppy from her,” agreed to pay £3,000 for
she sighs. “If the breeder was a black Pomeranian puppy
genuinely putting welfare called Pixie, who would
PUPPIES IN TRANSIT this goes on in the world,” first, they would be willing be imported from Russia. 
When nail artist Sarah Sarah tells me. “I’d never to set up video calls so you “I fell in love with her
Woods bought her £3,000 heard of puppy farms. could watch the puppy instantly,” says Jess, “and
Pomeranian puppy Sushi I feel so guilty for what interacting with her mother. I was worried that someone
from a breeder she found happened. I do blame Three months is also too else was going to buy her.
via Instagram, she was myself.” She buried Sushi young for the puppy to Looking back now, I should
so excited that she put in her boyfriend’s garden.  enter the UK legally on have taken a moment.”
a deposit down straight The bitches at puppy a pet passport, which is Jess waited nearly three
away because she couldn’t farms are often constantly another red flag. Plus, six months for Pixie to arrive
bear the idea of losing the impregnated and kept in days is a long time for a – the delivery date kept
animal to another buyer. poor conditions. Their puppy to be on the road.” being pushed back because
In the pictures and videos litters may be taken away at “I always wanted a little of COVID-19, but Jess was
she was sent before her a very young age, causing Pomeranian,” says Jess assured that Pixie would fly
puppy arrived, Sushi was long-term health to the UK, with a puppy
an adorable bundle of white and socialisation Sarah with nanny by her side. As the
fur – a healthy, active pup. problems. Often, the her late months crawled on, Jess
puppy Sushi
But when she arrived in animals are kept became desperate. “The two
the UK, she was covered in unsanitary and weeks before she arrived
in poo and unable to walk stressful conditions, were the worst weeks of my
from exhaustion, her fur and not given proper life,” she says. When Pixie
was matted, and she kept medical attention or eventually arrived, the scene
vomiting. Sarah took her vaccinations. As the was horrific. “A van pulled
to the vet the following day, UK has stringent up at the house, and there
but there was nothing they animal welfare were 25 dogs in the back,”
could do, and Sushi died standards, it can says Jess. “It was really hot,
within days. “I had no clue often be easier for and there was no air i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 95
conditioning. All the dogs own faeces, a common
were barking, and none of behaviour among former
them had food or water. puppy-farm dogs (because
Pixie could hardly open they weren’t fed enough),
her eyes. She just flopped and she has anxiety attacks
her head down. She looked and vomits in cars because
half-dead, and she was she’s still traumatised by
covered in poo and sick, her journey from Russia.
and was tiny.”  Jess feels hugely guilty
Pixie was rushed to a vet, about what she unwittingly
who found that she had put Pixie through. “I feel
parvovirus, which can really ashamed,” she says.
be fatal in dogs. But “I fully take responsibility Bowen knows
the person behind the for being involved in first-hand how
Instagram account denied this. I got so caught up devious Instagram
that there was anything in wanting a puppy, and puppy breeders
wrong with Pixie, and I ignored all the red flags.” can be – she’s
became abusive and   experienced it
threatening when Jess asked DOGS UNDER herself. Because
them to pay the vet bill. THE INFLUENCE  Bowen has
“The vet said that if we It’s easy to listen to Jess’s a significant
hadn’t taken her in, she’d story and think: I’d never Instagram
have had a seizure,” says Jess. fall into that trap. But from following – 2.5
Thankfully, Pixie pulled looking at some of the million – she’s
through, after three days Instagram accounts online, often approached
in intensive care at a cost it’s not hard to see how by puppy dealers
of £1,500. But she has unsuspecting animal on the site,
long-term behavioural lovers can be taken in. The offering her free
problems: she eats her accounts look legitimate dogs in exchange
and often have glowing for a post. “It’s horrendous not bred yourself in
online reviews. “You guys that people offer their dogs England (dog rescue
are amazing thanks so out like commodities,” says centres are exempt from
much!” writes one reviewer, Olivia. She tells me that the legislation). Despite
with an emoji love heart. Molly-Mae wasn’t given Mr this, enforcement is patchy,
“Cannot recommend Chai for free – the couple and many “puppies for
these puppies enough!” paid for him, and had no sale” accounts remain
says another. “It was the idea about puppy farms. on Instagram. When I
followers that made “Lots of influencers just asked a spokesperson for
it seem so legitimate,” don’t know.” She always says Facebook (Instagram’s
says Jess. “They no to offers of free puppies parent company) about
put up all these from Instagram dealers. “I
Instagram Stories just block and delete them.”
of the puppies
with their happy LUCY’S LAW How to
families. They’d tag Most of these Instagram
people in them, puppy dealers are make sure
and you could go
on their pages
operating illegally. Under
Lucy’s Law, which was
your puppy
and see that they introduced in April 2020 is coming
J e s s’s p u p p y
were real profiles.”
Molly-Mae Hague’s
following a decade of
activism from animal-rights
from a safe
Pixie sur vived
cruel travel
friend and fellow Love campaigners, it is illegal to breeder
conditions Island contestant Olivia sell puppies that you have
read

tells you what questions much work it was.” But it’s


you need to be asking. all worth it, of course. “She’s
my little mate who’s always
THE COST OF there,” says Alice. “She gives
COMPANIONSHIP me unconditional love.” 
For those who do manage It’s this that makes the
to get dogs from ethical, Instagram puppy market
legal breeders, the benefits even more heartbreaking.
are immense.  “She’s literally Most people don’t buy
my everything now,” says puppies because they’re
Alice, a 31-year-old going to look good on their
communications worker feed, but for company and
from London, of her love, something needed
working cocker spaniel more than ever in the
Dotty. Alice bought Dotty past year. This need has
from a licensed, reputable been commodified and
breeder for £2,000 in June: exploited, with many
she’d recently come out of a people unaware of the
long-term relationship and reality behind the adorable
was working from home for facade. It’s an easy, tempting
the first time, and had the trap to fall into – but when
time and energy to raise it comes to Instagram
Dotty. Plus, the company puppies, buyer beware. V
was nice, after so long living
with her ex. “When I was
having a rubbish mental
health day, especially during
this, they told me: “We “You absolutely should lockdown, she gave me
BEHIND THE SCENES
do not allow the sale of not ever buy a dog through something to do,” says Alice.
animals on Instagram, Instagram,” warns Dr “Dotty was a reason to get Sirin Kale
and we’ve removed the Gaines. “Absolutely do not. out of the house every day.”
PIX, GETTY IMAGES, SHUTTERSTOCK, COURTESY OF
PHOTOGRAPHS BACKGRID, DAILY MIRROR/MIRROR

accounts brought to our Go directly to a reputable But having a puppy is


SARAH WOODS, COURTESY OF JESS DOUGAN

“I saw videos of Pixie when she first


attention. We encourage breeder.” She advises all seriously hard work. “It’s arrived in the UK and she looked
people to report these prospective dog owners like having a baby,” says so tiny and helpless – the thought
of what she endured in the back
activities to us, so we to use a Puppy Contract Alice. “Training her is really
of that van was horrific. I was also
can take appropriate with their breeders: it’s time-consuming. She needs really struck by how brazen many
action.” (I reported all a free toolkit designed to me all the time, she follows of these Instagram puppy breeders
the accounts I found encourage those buying me around all day, I’m were: even when their accounts got
shut down, they simply opened
during the research of and breeding puppies to responsible for her 24/7.
new ones, often flaunting their
this feature to Facebook.) do so responsibly, and it That was a shock – how wealth on private accounts.”

1 2 3 4 5
Do your research Ask for videos Sign a contract Report it Trust your gut
“Make sure you get to “Always make sure you Ask the breeder to sign If you suspect you’ve come Your instincts can tell you
know the seller behind see the puppy interacting a Puppy Contract with across a puppy farmer, a lot. “If something
the pet,” says Dr Gaines. with the litter, and their you. This is legally don’t buy the dog, evenen doesn’t
doesn feel right, they
Run their name through mum,” advises Dr Gaines. binding, and helps you to “save” it – this fuels won’t give you
Google, and check If the breeder won’t let make sure your puppy the trade. Report the paperwork or
they’re licensed with you visit the puppy or see has been bred ethically. incident to your local i
information, or are
the local authority to videos of it interacting You can download a authority instead. For pressuring you to
sell pets, if they’re a with its mother, it’s contract template at more advice, visit buy, walk away,”
commercial breeder. time to walk away. Puppycontract.org.uk. Nawt.org.uk. says Dr Gaines.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 97
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tions of dishone s t revie


A ll e g a ws. R
h e p a s t f e w umours of foul
O v e r t y e a r s,
p l a y. beaut
o u n d t h e i r n a m y ’s b i g h i t t e r s
ha ve f e s at t
a che
b u t a r e d to claims of
ti o n – t h e y b ein
corrup g un

Tr u s t m e ,
f a i r l y v i c t i m i s e d?

I’m a
beauty
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. †ACCORDING TO A STUDY CONDUCTED BY THE LEGO GROUP

Wo r d s K AT E PA S O L A

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 99
“If you throw me under the bus,

I ’ l l k i l l y o u.
Phoebe* laughs. She has just told me #sponcon (sponsored content), beauty possible. There’s no time for ordering
something that’s blown my mind, but influencing was most often a hobby on launch day and waiting for
I reassure her the secret is safe with me. – influencers reviewed products they’d shipping confirmations – miss the
As our interview was coming to a close, bought themselves. PR didn’t usually boat and you’ll miss out on thousands
I finished with: “What’s the question come into it, save for a few brands of views, retweets, likes or follows.
you wish I’d asked?” I was nervous who blazed an otherwise untrodden Samantha Ravndahl, a beauty content
about her response – this is basically trail, sending free products to creator and host of the Approachable
a journalist’s shorthand for “tell me a influencers and hoping to be featured.  podcast, gained a titanic following in
secret, I dare you”. And it doesn’t help Then content creators began, quite part due to her honesty when it comes
that my interviewee knows every trick rightly, leveraging their power to earn to the “touchy subject” of PR. An
in my book. She’s a PR, after all. Her money, taking fees from beauty brands influencer veteran, she’s spotted the
role, in beauty public relations, is to for mentions and adverts. Their work growing “immediacy” problem too.
make sure the brands she represents started to generate huge pay-offs for “In the beauty reviews I grew up
end up in your make-up bag, by brands – so it was only right that they watching, people would use the same
spreading the word via journalists got a cut. Plus, as hobbies transformed product for months,” she says. “Now,
and influencers. That as soon as that PR package
new highlighter you’re lands on your doorstep,
suddenly desperate “The experience ruined you want to be filming
for? She probably had a video and have it up as
something to do with it. who I thought were my soon as possible, because
“I wish you’d asked me that’s how you guarantee
about the strangest thing beauty idols forever” you’re going to continue
I’ve seen when working to grow your channel.”
with influencers,” she Spots on PR lists
replied. “I’ve seen a rate card from into careers, overheads started to spiral, have become furiously competitive,
an influencer that included rates for from shooting equipment to computer especially for audience-favoured
a negative review of a competitor software, not to mention the labour of brands like Kylie Cosmetics, Jeffree Star
brand.” Phoebe swears me to secrecy maintaining a consistent social-media Cosmetics, Glossier and Fenty. Now,
when I ask who it was – and then she presence across multiple platforms it’s a badge of honour to receive PR
tells me, off the record, and my heart with ever-changing algorithms. The parcels and pre-release information.
sinks. A household name. “Slating a “beauty influencer” became a full- The hashtag “#gifted” holds so much
competitor?” she continues. “It’s more time job, albeit a modern one. At clout some influencers have been
common than you think.” Phoebe had the same time, consumer thirst for known to buy products themselves,
every right to keep her mouth shut in newness meant brands began to then thank the brands publicly, in a
our interview. So why did she open it? launch products every few weeks. bid to fake brand deals and position
Any influencer worth their salt was themselves as PR-worthy.
PEAK CRITIQUE added to PR lists to receive those But most worrying of all? With the
The beauty review as we once launches for free, before anyone else. ever-present risk across the industry
knew it has evolved into something Because of that trajectory, these of being dropped from PR lists, the
unrecognisable. Back in the late days, it’s in the influencer’s interest temptation now exists to be glowingly
’00s, before monetization and to review new products as quickly as positive about every launch, and to

100 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
read

and trusted beauty YouTuber. After


sharing his revelation, KJB became
embroiled in a digital war with James
Charles and other influencers such
as RawBeautyKristi (KJB confirms
neither Charles nor Kristi were the
influencer he was accusing of taking
undisclosed payments or competitor-
bashing), who claimed he was
misguided or lying. “It was sort of like
Joan of Arc. Here we go, into battle!”
he says. “And tonnes of top influencers
were doing it. That’s why they all
freaked out when it was exposed.”
But where once, the world was
divided into a binary – influencer
or mortal, right or wrong, sponsored
or not – these days, it’s a lot more
complex. And there’s far more to
the story than meets the eye…

PR HUNGER GAMES
Though PR strategies vary hugely, a
new wave of competitions and public-
facing “PR searches” are also, arguably,
dismantling what was once a fruitful
relationship between content creators
and PRs. Brands and retailers, from
Kylie Cosmetics to Beauty Bay, have
held social-media competitions
for slots on their esteemed lists,
encouraging followers to share images
of their artistry (along with desperate
pleas and an approved hashtag) for
the chance to be considered. It has
turned what was once a private
business negotiation into a marketing
keep useful criticism under wraps. figure Kevin James Bennett says he’s circus, fuelled by the attention
“We’ve done it to ourselves,” says been removed from “dozens” of PR economy. And while winning slots
Katie Braden, founder of Katie Braden lists. “We don’t mince words. I do my has gilded many influencers’ futures,
PR, social-media expert and brand homework before saying something… the experience for some – with reports
consultant. “There are influencers are you mad at me because I told the that certain other, unnamed brands
who think positive reviews are the truth?” he giggles over Zoom, an are providing unclear terms and
way to stay in favour with that brand assemblage of awards and trophies a lack of communication behind
– and to be honest, they’re not wrong. behind him. In 2018, KJB attempted to the scenes – has also broken many.
If I send someone a product and they expose what he calls “hideous” failures Ex-beauty influencer Candice is too
do a beautiful video? Obviously I’m to disclose sponsored content in traumatised by her experiences with
going to send them more stuff.” influencing. His biggest scoop? KJB one such PR search to go back into
witnessed an influencer’s management cosmetics blogging. Her dream of
BUYING BIAS? quoting a brand for the service of being added to her favourite brands’
Thanks to his biting opinions and bashing a competitor, identifying lists became what she calls an “ordeal”
whistleblowing efforts, make-up artist, rates between £55k and over £60k. just months after winning her place.
brand consultant and beauty-industry The influencer in question is a famous One influencer-favoured brand, ›

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 101
Xxxxxx

knowledge from past disappointments.


“I don’t let that stop me,” she grins.
When I ask PR Phoebe for her
thoughts on searches, she emphasises
the importance of brands sharing
terms and conditions with winners,
her opinion being that “running
a giveaway without this in place is
misconduct”. Her choice of the word
“giveaway” sticks with me. It begs the
question: are PR-list competitions just
marketing stunts packaged up as PR?
And if so, what does that mean for the
which she tells me committed to mailers and information from 42 influencers caught up in them? 
a relationship with her for a year, different brands, but that “it’s difficult After all, the buzzword “PR” has
dropped her after four or five months, to be taken seriously as a woman of become a particularly lucrative way
“out of nowhere”. “They did that to a colour… we have a very hard time to shift product. Take Kylie Jenner’s
lot of us small artists who got on the being added to bigger PR lists”. After signed PR box, released to the public
list after their PR search,” Candice being welcomed to the company in as part of her Kylie x The Grinch
explains. She was also later dropped question, she tells me there was an Christmas collection, which sold
by a YouTuber-founded beauty brand, absence of guidance accompanying the out in a matter of minutes, despite
again without explanation. Candice bounty of beauty being sent her way. costing £280. At the time of writing,
was left devastated, quizzing herself So why, within eight months, did it’s available on Ebay for over £3,300.
about what she may have done wrong. Lea also find herself taken off the list? The prestige of PR is sky-high. 
It was influencer and beauty blogger “I don’t have any clarity,” she answers. Candice and Lea tell me they feel
Lea’s* birthday when she received the “But like me, most of the people they were used as part of a marketing
first PR-list “welcome package” from who were taken off the PR list at strategy, and they’re both in the dark as
a dream beauty company – a back- that time were women of colour.” For to how they could have avoided this.
breaking box containing “everything Candice, it was necessary to take a step “I feel it was all strictly to get them
on the website – lipsticks, lipglosses, away from the industry to rehabilitate more business,” Candice adds. But
all the palettes, brushes galore”. “I was her mental health. “The whole who’s responsible for dwindling
not expecting to be picked,” she recalls experience ruined who I thought were transparency in the industry? Is it
over Zoom, blinking her heavy lashes. my beauty idols forever,” she recalls. the brands muddying the waters of
She tells me she currently receives PR Lea is pushing for change, armed with PR and offering ill-outlined deals?

102 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
read

The influencers taking them up to addressing misleading reviews commit to transparency by


on it? Or is it, in fact, the audiences and other endorsement,” it said. supporting their incomes through
with an insatiable appetite for But for all the efforts of the membership platforms such as
immediate product reviews? authorities, it’s arguable that the Patreon and other fundraisers.
problem could be solved closer to Samantha’s comments left me
KN E E - J E R K R E VI E W S home. Samantha feels that creating thinking. How many times have
One thing’s for sure: legitimate a greater distinction between “first I rolled my eyes at an influencer’s
beauty reviews still serve an important impressions” and reviews might begin paid partnerships, forgetting that
purpose, especially as beauty shopping to solve the problem for influencers, content creators need to pay their bills?
moves online. Their diminishing balancing traffic and networking How many times might my favourite
credibility holds hazards beyond with credibility. And among all of influencers have duped me into
online drama. After all, pandemic the experts I consulted, there was supporting an undisclosed brand
isolation has squashed consumer a consensus that we need influencers deal? And how many less wealthy
interest in lipstick and palettes, to make consistent, responsible use influencers, dependent on receiving
replacing it with a hunger for active of hashtags like “#gifted” and “#ad”. PR, are being screwed over as we
serums, moisturisers, prioritise the voices of well-
intensive beauty tools connected content creators
and other cosmetic
routes to self-care. And
“I’ve noticed nobody who can afford their own
samples? Holding brands
as KJB points out, while questions the people and influencers to account
a knee-jerk review of a is one thing, but it goes
lipstick collection might that don’t disclose ads” hand-in-hand with
be enough information to applauding ad disclosure,
decide whether it’s right supporting Patreons,
for a customer, the same can’t be said But before pointing the finger, it may buying merch and discarding the
for reviews of intensive acids, retinols be useful to check our own behaviour idea that we’re entitled to influencer
and devices. At best, the latter could as consumers. After all, Samantha creativity for free – something we’d
lead to wasted money. At worst? explains that influencers like herself never expect from any other industry.
Serious dermatological dangers. who are transparent about brand After all, lies no longer shock us.
“Consumers shouldn’t have to deals usually feel as though they’re in The truth can be twisted, loopholes
play detective in working out when a double-bind. “I’ve noticed nobody unearthed, sponsorships swept under
an influencer post is advertising,” a questions the people that don’t the rug. Never before have we had
spokesperson from the Advertising disclose ads, because they don’t think such power to demand transparency,
Standards Authority tells me when they’re doing them,” she says. “But so never before has transparency been
I reach out to confirm the scale of influencers that do disclose them? such prime real estate. But, as is the
OPENING PHOTOGRAPH TRAVIS RATHBONE/TRUNK ARCHIVE. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS AND

the problem. The rep tells me the People are like, ‘Oh, you’re a sellout, case with all real estate, someone’s
PROP STYLING MARTINA LANG. MIRROR, AMAZON.CO.UK. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED.

organisation is “harnessing new you’re constantly posting ads.’ But I’m got to pay for it. And when it comes
technology” to assist in the problem of posting the same amount as Person X to beauty reviews, perhaps it’s our
misleading reviews, and undertaking – you just know that mine are paid for.” turn to pick up the cheque. V
“monitoring sweeps online” to In a world where more young
identify and tackle the issue at scale people aspire to be YouTubers than
and speed. And it looks like the astronauts,† where COVID has
ACCORDING TO A STUDY CONDUCTED BY THE LEGO GROUP

Federal Trade Commission, which obliterated many people’s career


deals with advertising standards paths, and where “fake it till you
BEHIND THE SCENES
in the USA, is in agreement. It’s make it” reaches the realms of Forbes
conducting a “scheduled periodic magazine’s “Billionaire” covers and Kate Pasola
review” of endorsement guidelines, USA presidencies, one question
and Cosmopolitan learned that the remains. Can you blame influencers “While researching this article, I also found
topic of paid-for competitor-bashing for accepting deals, flattering brands tonnes of underground online communities who
posts was indeed raised in the and doing all they can to maintain offer fake positive reviews on online retailers
in return for refunds or free products. Learning
comments the FTC received. “We contacts? That doesn’t mean we can’t that has totally ruined my trust in the star
take this issue seriously and have fight for authenticity. As consumers, ratings I see when I’m shopping online.”
committed substantial resources we should applaud influencers who

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 103
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111
love
SINGLE? SETTLED? WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED
WORDS PAISLEY GILMOUR. PHOTOGRAPH AARON DURALL

Is everyone astro-dating?
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added the “zodiac” badge to their profile in just six months last year, implying that many single
folk believe astrological characteristics may provide an insight into whether someone is right
for us. Astro-dating might help us find people with traits we’re spiritually aligned with but,
says astrologer Kerry Ward, take it with a pinch of salt. “Someone’s star sign is more of an
icebreaker than a dealbreaker,” she says. Still, stargazing has never seemed so much fun…
To discover your sign’s ideal astrological match, visit Cosmopolitan.com/uk/starsigndating.

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 113
Xxxxxx

Cya
n ’s w
edd
ing
day

The love lessons I learnt


Our mothers’ words and

my
XXXXXXX XXXXXXX

actions can have a lifelong impact,


as these three writers explain…
114 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
love
Cya
n
a wa and her
lk in mum
Oxf
ords on
hire

“My mum helped


me feel hopeful
about becoming
a mum myself ”
When Cyan Turan discovered
she was pregnant during
lockdown, she felt anxious.
But her mum taught her to
see things differently

E
very single one of us has a tiny,
butterfly-shaped gland in our necks.
Its role is to produce many of the
hormones that make our bodies function,
but when I was 25, I discovered my thyroid
was underactive. After a bout of panicked
web searching (thanks, Dr Google), I found
out that a side effect of my condition was
possible infertility. I’d never say it’s always
been my dream to become a mother, but
I’d also never contemplated a future in
which parenthood wouldn’t be an option.
I spent the latter half of my twenties with
a fear of infertility – not ready to have
children, but never too far away from the

from
worry that it might not happen for me.
ss Fast-forward to summer 2020 and my
r n e 18
e 0 husband and I decided – mid-pandemic

mum
ild in 2
W l – that we felt ready to try for a baby. I was
At tiva
s mentally preparing myself for many years
Fe
of fertility-related heartache when I found
out I was pregnant. Suddenly, my fears of
infertility gave way to joy, yes, but a new
fear: miscarriage. What if my screwed-up
hormones couldn’t support our baby?
XXXXXXX XXXXXXX

I found myself in a worry spiral, unable


to say to my parents, “You’re going to
be grandparents,” and holding back i

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 115
from buying tiny knitted booties I’m now 26, and Mum’s abandonment
for fear that my pregnancy would has reverberated throughout my life. On
go wrong. The idea that I’d have my darkest days, I’ve felt it would have
an actual baby at the end of it all been easier to cope if she had died. There’s
seemed unfathomable. something so unsettling about knowing
That was, however, until I spoke she’s out in the world somewhere – and
to my own mum. She could sense the impact of her sudden disappearance
that I was being blasé to the point is never more apparent than when I’m
of negativity, approaching this foetus navigating romantic relationships.
with unjustified pessimism. On the
phone one day, she asked how I was
“My mum I’ve loved people dearly, but thrown them
away out of fear because I never wanted to
feeling and I came out with my usual
“Fine, yeah, just hoping things will
taught me how feel a rejection similar to what I felt on the
day Mum left. I’ve forced kind people away
be OK”. She stopped me mid-
sentence. “They will be,” she said.
not to love“ without realising I was sabotaging my own
happiness. I thought shouting would make
Everyone had said it – after all, it my partners hear me – little did I know
seemed no one but me assumed my After Sara’s* mum left that this isn’t how “normal” people
pregnancy would go wrong – but and never returned, she communicate with those they love.
I only believed it when it came from At one point, I was with a man who
her. Kindly, she impressed upon me struggled to understand how wanted nothing except to love me – little
that I couldn’t see this pregnancy to be in a relationship did he know it was a battle he’d lost before
by default as something that would he’d even had the chance to try. We’d
falter, but had to really step into the argue, and I’d say awful things in an
idea that I. Was. Going. To. Have. attempt to end the relationship. He would
A. Baby. Empowerment is an calmly explain that it was OK to talk out

O
overused word, but she made me n the day my world was ripped our disagreement, but I couldn’t accept it.
feel optimistic for the first time in out from under my feet, the sun Towards the end, he would wrap me up in
months. I’d never really thought was shining. I was just eight years a warm hug, but I never hugged him back.
about the role Mum would play old, but two memories replay in my mind He was everything most people look for in
as I embarked on my parenthood from the moment I left my house for the last a partner, but I pushed him away by playing
journey, but it turned out that role time: putting on my bright-pink coat, and out a narrative that wasn’t real. I wish I
was critical. For the first time, I could the ice-cold look in my mother’s eyes. could have pressed pause for long enough
see myself nine months down the My parents divorced when I was young, to see that he wasn’t trying to neglect me or
line with a baby. Of course, life can and it was a given that I would live with my my feelings, but to explore them with me.
throw cruel curveballs, but assuming mother. But from the start, it was clear that My abandonment issues made me treat
that they’re on their way was no she wasn’t maternal, and I was a burden. good partners badly, but cling on to those
way to view my daughter’s future. My life with her was scarred by physical and who weren’t so kind. A different partner
The next day, I went shopping. verbal abuse, and she was often neglectful. disappeared for a week and ignored my
The idea of buying anything for her On that sunny day, Mum and I walked up calls. When he finally reappeared, I felt
before felt like a curse, a sure-fire the path to my dad’s house, where he was grateful he hadn’t abandoned me and
way to jinx it all. Walking around waiting on the doorstep. There wasn’t a brushed his unreasonable behaviour aside.
the baby section of the department goodbye, a hug or an “I love you”. She At 21, I was diagnosed with PTSD and
store, I was in a daze. Miniature just walked away, without looking began therapy. I now know that love and
cardigans, wooden blocks, dresses back. And I haven’t seen pain don’t have to be entwined. Love can
emblazoned with unicorns – they all her since. be fleeting and ever-changing, but that’s
seemed so alien to me. But Mum’s fine. I need to let my guard down in order
words rang in my ears. I pictured for relationships to work. Loving
myself dressing my baby, and others doesn’t mean
gingerly picked up some socks that their demons are
– a tiny orange pair embroidered automatically yours
with foxes. My baby is due on – and Mum’s demons
Mother’s Day and – as you are no longer mine.
read this – I’ll probably be Sara is the founder of
preparing to give birth. And Run2YaMama, a blog
XXXXXXX XXXXXXX

the first thing she’ll wear that provides advice


(other than a nappy) will and support for girls and
be those fox socks. women with absent mothers
love

C um
at
m

rio (le
n a f t),
(s d a
ec d
on , s
d is te
rig r
ht an
)w d
ith gra
he nd
r m
a
n
nd Ia
e r h usba d a y
h g
With r w eddin
e i
on th

standing on our black-and-white kitchen compromised, but she placed her


tiles, yelling that Bryan Adams was a liar. dreams high up on her list of priorities.
That there was no way everything he did She knew that to achieve them, she had
was for another person. It was the same to be headstrong and not succumb to
a few years later, with Never Ever. All the traditional roles often associated
Saints weren’t liars, but they did have to with the labels “wife” and “mother”.
“stop being so whiny and get over him”. Now, aged 35, I live my life as
“Your purpose,” she’d tell us, after independently as she did. I’m married,
scolding the radio, “is not to give a man but that’s not who I am. If a friend is in
‘attention’ and ‘affection’.” These were Paris and I want to go and see her, I’ll
“My mum taught
INNES, COURTESY OF CYAN TURAN. SARA PHOTOGRAPHS POSED BY MODELS. *NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED

discussions she had with me and my sister jump on a coach that afternoon, only
PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, STOCKSY, KIRSTY MACKENZIE PHOTOGRAPHY, COURTESY OF CATRIONA

all the time, using pop music as a vehicle messaging my husband once I’m settled
me how to for her advice. She wanted us to forge our in my seat. We live together but so much
own lives, independently of whoever we of our lives are separate. I work late,
be independent ” fell in love with. She knew the power of I party for days without him, I have a vast
a strong, supportive relationship – she’d network of friends. Of course, we still
been with my dad since university – but spend time together – and when I’m
Catriona Innes lost her
she was also very keen not to let that, with him, there’s no one else I’d rather be
mother as a teenager, but not or her role as our mother, define her. with. Doing our own thing doesn’t have
before she taught her how to When she was offered the chance to to mean drifting apart – if anything, it
walk the Great Wall of China, she took just means we have so many interesting
truly revel in her own freedom it – even though it meant leaving us for things to talk about when we are together.
a month. Childcare and housework was I think the prospect of getting everything
always split 50/50 with my dad. She had you need from one person, your life
a life full of adventures, friendships and revolving solely around them, is not only
learning (I often went straight to the library impossible, but boring. If I had to be in

T
he song played on a loop in our after school instead of going home, and a relationship where that was expected of
house. It was 1991 and no one could sat quietly beside Mum as she studied for me, I’d have left it long ago. By teaching
get Bryan Adams’ Everything I Do her PhD). Knowing how rich her existence me to live how I wanted to, mum also
(I Do It For You) off the number-one spot. had been brought me great comfort showed me how to love wildly, on my own
I was six years old, and the only thing I can after she died from a brain tumour terms. And yes, I do – just occasionally
really remember from that year is my mum, when I was 19. She made sacrifices and – find myself shouting at the radio. V

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 117
love

The dating
apps to know

if you’re
LGBTQ+
Paisley Gilmour, Cosmo’s
sex and relationships editor,
has the lowdown

Dating apps can


be a lifeline for
the LGBTQ+
community Her Feeld Scissr Lesly
Her says: Feeld says: Scissr says: Lesly says:
– especially “From lesbians “A dating app for “Where LGBTQ+ “A great community for
to queers, bois to open-minded couples women can connect, lesbians, bisexual and
during lockdown femmes, trans to fluid, and singles… Join share and chat. queer women to chat,
– providing us and everyone in solo or pair up with Designed by lesbians date and hook up with
between, Her is a partner, lover or for lesbians.” other LGBTQ singles
with a platform here for you.” curious friend.” How inclusive is it?  in their area.”
How inclusive is it?  How inclusive is it?  Although it claims to How inclusive is it? 
to connect with

PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. *ALL APPS ARE FREE, WITH IN-APP PURCHASES AVAILABLE
The app connects The sexuality and be for all LGBTQ+ It was made by
those we might people of varying gender options are women, the app a group of “lesbian
LGBTQ+ identities with never-ending. You constantly refers to dating experts”, so
not encounter in friends and dates. So can specify kinks “lesbians”. They say the that’s a start!
yeah, pretty inclusive. and fantasies too. app is “without dudes”, What makes
our day-to-day What makes What makes but I’m not sure where it different? 
lives. Shortly it different?  it different? this leaves trans men. Lesly claims to
It has four million users It hooks you up with What makes put all profiles
after becoming and claims to be the sex-positive people it different?  through a rigorous
largest free dating who want everything It positions itself as verification process
single, I took it site for lesbian and from threesomes to Grindr for women – so to weed out any
upon myself to queer womxn. long-term love. it’s good for hook-ups. scammers or fakers.
The verdict: The verdict: The verdict: The verdict:
test some queer-
friendly dating Confusing to use, but I love the ethos of Users have complained Some users say the
very inclusive in terms the app but found about not having many free version* is pretty
apps to see of gender identities and navigating it tricky. That people in their area and useless, so to use the
how good they sexualities. But, erm, said, I ended up using not being notified when app to the best of its
no one messaged me. it to find a threesome. they receive messages. ability, you have to pay.
really are…

118 · C O S M O P O L I TA N
love

After a night at
his, I woke up the
next day to him
announcing “great
Your Have you ever
tasted your own
ear wax?

news”… he’d just


got a text to say
not-so-secret LOL, what?

single
Maybe when
his STI test results I was a kid or
were negative. something?

behaviour
NICOLA, 30 How was it?
Describe it

I returned from a
It was at this point I
walk to find my block
Bad dates, disastrous DMs and thought about flushing
of flats taped off.
my phone down the
When I asked what everything
y g in between... toilet. Liv,, 27
7
was happening, the
police officer turned
around. It was a guy
Due to lockdown, we w
I’d been on a very Got a dating nightmare
met to walk around a
awkward date with to share? Email your tales
Rosa of woe to singlebehaviour park – in winter. After
Aft
five months before. @cosmopolitan.co.uk or 10 minutes, he threw
thre
Tweet, Insta or DM us
A MY, 3 5 with your single stories down his coat and
Lee* @CosmopolitanUK said, “Let’s sit here
here.”
Chat Profile
He produced a bottle
bott
He invited me of wine and wanted
wante
for a drink but So you’re cancelling, to pass it between u us.
why exactly? I declined (hello,
cancelled an hour
Because you’re busy
before. When pandemic!), so sat
washing your hair or
I bumped into him something? shivering, watching
a few days later, him get drunk.
he casually
Exactly that,, it L E N O R A ,* 2 2
mentioned he’d
takes me hourss
had a partner
for eight years. Sent

Don’t forget to
He arrived at the
AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. POSED BY MODELS.

GEORGINA, 21 wash your bum bar and said he


and armpits too. needed to quickly
pop next door to
Sainsbury’s, pick
I went back to his
something up and
after our date and After cancelling a first date with
GIF
a guy (who was giving me weird drop it off at home.
his flat was filthy –
vibes over WhatsApp), I thought it was
pennies and tobacco this was his response. odd but that maybe
were scattered It was 100% the he wanted to chill
everywhere, and the right decision.
some wine in case
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

cushions looked like Rosa,* 30


we ended up going
they’d been ripped
home together. He
up by a dog. I didn’t
never came back.
hang around.

ANNIKA, 26 GEORGIE, 29

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 119
explore
BECAUSE LIFE’S ALL ABOUT THE 5-9

On yer bike
More of us are embracing getting
around on two wheels, with app
Strava reporting a 162% year-
on-year increase in cycling in the
UK in 2020.* Plus, the number of
people looking for staycations has
surged (we’ll give you one guess
why). Whether it’s part of a holiday
(restrictions permitting) or just a
way to get out and see some of
your local area, cycling is great
exercise for both your body and
mind. Two wheels not your thing?
Turn the page for our road-trip
edit – Lycra not necessary. ›
WORDS DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT. PHOTOGRAPH STOCKSY. *STRAVA METRO’S ANALYSIS COMPARED
THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE TRAVELLING BY BIKE IN MAY 2020 WITH THE SAME PERIOD IN 2019

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 121
M A N D A S TAT
rds A HA
Wo M

A weekend road trip is the perfect mix of freedom, sanctuary


and adaptability, making it the most desirable kind of holiday
when restrictions allow. Here are our picks of the routes to
try, as well as where to stay (and what to eat) along the way…
explore travel

LONDON TO around your new manor, it’s outside Letchworth. Park up


The Fox
time to get a fresh-air fix. for the night at The Fox at
LETCHWORTH Route highlight Willian (from £75 per night;
at Willian

Head north out of London The Ivinghoe Beacon Walk, Foxatwillian.co.uk), which
on the A41 and, surprisingly a circular hike in scenic looks like a traditional pub but
quickly, countryside replaces Ashridge National Trust has a large restaurant tucked
buildings and your shoulders territory, takes you through away at the back and eight
start to drop. Sweep past Hemel grassland and trees to the cosy bedrooms. The menu’s
Hempstead into the glorious top of a hill with amazing chock-full of the sort of dishes
Chiltern Hills before arriving at 360º views. There are you’ll need after a hefty hike,
Ashridge Estate in Hertfordshire. Bronze Age burial mounds like 28-day aged cola-glazed
After you’ve swooned at and prehistoric earthworks, rump steak and hand-cut chips
Ashridge House (below) and in summer, the hill is or miso-barbecued
and pretended the Duke of like something from a Disney aubergine, lentil
Hastings is promenading you film, dotted with hundreds of dhansak curry and
wildflowers and rare butterflies. hummus. Rooms
Eat & sleep upstairs have
From Ashridge, head east roll-top baths, but or a continental
along country lanes until you the five chalet-style breakfast with
reach the A505. This takes bedrooms at the rear croissants, yogurts,
you through the market town of the pub have a motel cereal and juice can
of Hitchin (tip: if you’re visiting vibe that befits a road trip: be delivered to your room.
in June or July, stop off at think quirky artwork, walk-in Finally, go big-cat-spotting
Hitchin’s lavender fields, monsoon showers and huge, at the nearby Woburn Safari
it’s an Instagram must) to comfy beds. You can order a Park before winding your
Willian, a tiny village just full English the next morning, way back to the capital.

dramatic pieces by world- walls and pendant lamps,


The Pickled renowned artists, including this is the kind of country
Pheasant Damien Hirst, Andy pub you wish was your local.
Goldsworthy and Barbara Dishes on the menu include
Hepworth. Spend an afternoon Thai marinated red mullet,
looking at the works of art and pan-roast duck breast and
snapping selfies (#culture), a chocolate orange brownie.
then treat yourself to a coffee Each of the four beautiful
and cake in the café. bedrooms has a unique
Eat & sleep design, but all are high-end,
When you’ve had your fill with king-size beds swathed
of sculpture, it’s time to hit the in luxurious Egyptian linen
road again and make your and Temple Spa toiletries. i
way to The Pickled Pheasant,
MANCHESTER TO HOLMFIRTH a gorgeous gastropub with Time to
Escape the city and drive makes a perfect spot for roomsms (from £90 per night; practise your
ar t-critic face
east on the A628 towards lunch. Pile your plate high with Thepickledpheasant.com)
epickledpheasant.com)
Denby Dale, through the epic oysters and native lobster at near
ar Holmfirth, a 20-minute
scenery at the northern end the seafood bar while enjoying drive
ve away. Boasting traditional
of the Peak District. You’ll see glorious countryside views. features
tures (think oak beams
reservoirs lined by forest in Route highlight andd open fireplaces)
the Longdendale Valley, pretty Yorkshire Sculpture Park, a mixed
ed with modern
hamlets and the Pennine Hills, 200-hectare outdoor gallery touches
ches like
before heading to Roydhouse, 15 minutes’ drive from darkk
where the Three Acres Inn Roydhouse, is dotted with bluee

C O S M O P O L I TA N · 123
12
The Malvern
Spa Hotel

BIRMINGHAM Owners Kim and Alex


specialise in all kinds of
TO MALVERN paddleboarding, including
It’s a 40-mile drive south SUP yoga (that’s yoga
from Brum to reach the practised standing up on
Malvern Hills, and boy, is a paddleboard, FYI). Book
it worth it. The undulating a session in advance and
landscape is a designated enjoy an afternoon paddling
Area of Outstanding Natural down the Avon, passing swans
Beauty, and we concur – it and beautiful countryside.
really is a sight for sore eyes. Eat & sleep
Route highlight It’s a 25-minute drive
Pull in at Pershore, a quaint west from Pershore to
market town about 9 miles The Malvern Spa Hotel
from Worcester and just (from £177 per night;
next to the River Avon, where Themalvernspa.com).
you’ll find Bonkers Activities Time it right and you’ll
(Bonkersactivities.co.uk). be able to fit in a dip in
the outdoor
hydrotherapy
Serious desktop- pool and a facial the week. Then drive out to St
background before dinner at Run a bath before bed and Ann’s Well in Great Malvern,
material
The Grovewood make good use of all the where you can fill up an empty
restaurant, which complimentary Elemis toiletries, water bottle with fresh Malvern
might include before falling asleep cocooned spring water, said to be
delicious dishes in a cloud-like duvet. The next good for health. Apparently,
like vegetable day, enjoy a healthy breakfast Charles Darwin and Dickens
coconut curry, beef and perhaps a free fitness both did the same when they
bourguignon or class – pilates, yoga, body visited in the Victorian era,
halloumi burgers. pump and spin run throughout so you’re in good company.

NEWCASTLE TO KIELDER
Exit the city by driving the journey shoot by, and check times before you go

OPENING PHOTOGRAPH INSTAGRAM/@UKTRAVELLING. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES


north along the scenic before you know it, you’re (Holyislandcrossingtimes.
east coast, passing signs almost at the Scottish border. northumberland.gov.uk). Once
for coastal villages with Route highlight you’re on land, park up and
storybook-esque names like Holy Island (or Lindisfarne as explore the island on foot –
Newbiggin-by-the-Sea along it’s also known) lies just below there’s a castle, priory and
the way. Northumberland’s Berwick-Upon-Tweed and looks nature reserve, plus some
dramatic landscape makes like a setting from Game Of shopping opportunities. Be lake shore (from £150 per
Thrones. sure to stock up on Holy Island night; Visitkielder.com). If
Even Gin and Pilgrim’s Coffee. you’re lucky, the Sky Den, a
reaching it Eat & sleep treehouse observatory created
is exciting, From Holy Island, it’s two as a project on TV’s George
thanks to a hours’ drive west to reach Clarke’s Amazing Spaces,
causeway Kielder Water & Forest Park, will be available. Keep the
that gets home to England’s largest next day free to make the
cut off forest and a huge lake. Check most of your stay, whether
twice a into one of Kielder’s glass- you choose to hire bikes,
day by the fronted, Scandinavian-style go hiking, try a horse-riding
tide – do wooden lodges close to the session or learn to sail.

K i e l d e r Wa t e r
& Fores t Park
explore travel

swimming gear,
as you can take
Climbing those
a dip in the pool s l o p e s? H a n g
below one of on for deer life
the waterfalls,
Sgwd Yr Eira.
Don’t fancy
such a long hike?
Visit the Sgydau
Sychryd waterfall
instead, which is
more accessible, but still
drop-your-sandwich dramatic. 
CARDIFF TO Eat & sleep EDINBURGH
HAY-ON-WYE Cut through the heart of
the Brecon Beacons from
TO GLENCOE
A drive through the Brecon Ystradfellte to reach Hay- First, head for Stirling, Eat & sleep
Beacons National Park in On-Wye, the pretty market around an hour’s drive After a day spent bombing
Wales is considered one of town that’s home to the north of Edinburgh and around the slopes, you’ll
the great British road journeys, world-famous literary festival the perfect place for a pit be hankering for crackling
taking you through rolling each summer. Make Cynefin stop. Stretch your legs and log fires, a massive dose of
hills, mountains and fields Retreats (from £150 per night; snap some selfies at the carbs and maybe a whisky
of sheep beneath vast skies. Cynefinretreats.com) your city’s magnificent castle, to wash it all down. Make
From Cardiff, it takes around base and stay in one of the set high up on a hill and a beeline for Kingshouse
an hour to reach Ystradfellte, “luxe-pods” – each has overlooking stunning views. Hotel (from £120 per night;
a village set in a southern a curved wooden roof, an Then it’s back on the road Kingshousehotel.co.uk), just
pocket of the national park open-plan living area, wood to reach Glencoe, two a couple of miles away on the
known as Waterfall Country. burner, hot tub and Neal’s hours’ drive away in the West Highland Way. We love
Route highlight Yard toiletries. Wake yourself remote Scottish Highlands, its dramatic setting, at the
Park in Cwm Porth car up the next day with a wild where you might recognise foot of Buchaille Etive Mòr.
park and explore the Four swim in the nearby lake, then the wild, towering peaks The restaurant has enormous
Falls Trail, which, as its head into Hay to browse all from the Harry Potter glass windows – ideal for
name suggests, takes in four the independent stores, from movies and Skyfall. spotting the local deer –
amazing waterfalls that are bookshops to bakeries. Route highlight and a menu featuring dishes
totally worth the five-mile hike. Skiing. We’re not even like grilled langoustine and
Before setting off, make sure The new wild joking. Glencoe Mountain Hebridian mac and cheese
you have plenty of snacks night out Resort lies in a natural bowl using Isle of Mull cheddar.
and water, sturdy shoes (it’s with plenty of gentle slopes The following day, circle back
not a difficult walk, but this and chairlifts, making it a to Edinburgh via Loch Ness
is no place for sandals) and great place to learn to ski – with your phone charged
or snowboard, or even just and ready to snap a pic, just
Cy n e f i n to go sledging in a major in case you spot Nessy. V
Retreats
way (sledging’s free, and
Us, skiing
you don’t need to bring away from our
your own). The season responsibilities
usually runs for half the
year, from October to
the end of April – but if
you visit in summer, there’s
still lots to do, including
mountain biking, tubing
and riding the chairlifts for
higher-altitude hikes.

125
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one last thing...

Remember MARCH
2001
this?
F i r s t n a m e:
L o v e r. S e c o n d
n a m e: L o v e r

SH AG GY CLA IM ED :
“I T WA SN ’ T ME”
Two decades ago, the phrase “it wasn’t
me” entered our lexicon. It has been stuck
there ever since, and we’ve got Shaggy to
thank for that. It Wasn’t Me featured on his
multi-platinum album Hot Shot, with risqué

WORDS DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT. PHOTOGRAPH JOHN ROGERS/GETTY IMAGES


lyrics about him being caught having sex
with another woman by his girlfriend.
It went to number one in both the US and
UK and is his biggest hit to date (yes, even
more so than Boombastic). Shaggy has
since released a collaborative album with
Sting, 44/876, and a dedicated Christmas
record. But… was it actually him?

130 · C O S M O P O L I TA N

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