The Bendy Banana

A Short Story
by Untitled writer

Gregory Noris had always loved damp Oxford with its slow, steep
swamps. It was a place where he felt unstable.

He was a cute, tactless, tea drinker with pointy toes and short
ankles. His friends saw him as a loud, low lawyer. Once, he had
even helped a bored baby bird cross the road. That's the sort of
man he was.

Gregory walked over to the window and reflected on his rural

surroundings. The rain hammered like chatting flamingos.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was

the figure of Tommy Raymond. Tommy was a callous deity with
fluffy toes and tall ankles.

Gregory gulped. He was not prepared for Tommy.

As Gregory stepped outside and Tommy came closer, he could

see the magnificent smile on his face.

"I am here because I want peace," Tommy bellowed, in a down to

earth tone. He slammed his fist against Gregory's chest, with the
force of 4109 bears. "I frigging love you, Gregory Noris."

Gregory looked back, even more active and still fingering the
bendy banana. "Tommy, get out of my house," he replied.

They looked at each other with cross feelings, like two heavy,
healthy humming birds bouncing at a very stable wedding, which
had reggae music playing in the background and two kind uncles
eating to the beat.
Suddenly, Tommy lunged forward and tried to punch Gregory in
the face. Quickly, Gregory grabbed the bendy banana and
brought it down on Tommy's skull.

Tommy's fluffy toes trembled and his tall ankles wobbled. He

looked sleepy, his body raw like a rainy, raw ruler.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the

ground. Moments later Tommy Raymond was dead.

Gregory Noris went back inside and made himself a nice cup of
tea.

THE END