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Jangshemash.

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My name a Borat.

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My life is nice. Not.

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But how I end up like this?

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14 year ago,

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I release a moviefilm which was
great success in US&A.

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But Kazakhstan become a
laughingstocks around the world.

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Our exports of potassium
and pubis plummet.

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Many brokers leapt
from our tallest skyscrapers.

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Since Running of Jew
had been canceled,

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all Kazakhstan had left was
Holocaust Remembrance Day,

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where we commemorate
our heroic soldiers
14
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who ran the camps.

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I was blamed
for Kazakhstan's failure

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and banned from
ever make reportings again.

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I was publicly humiliate.

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Ow! Wawaweewa!

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I was sentence for life
to hard labor in gulag.

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But 14 year later,
men from government

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bring me to presidential palace.

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Premier Nazarbayev!

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Listen carefully, asshole.

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I have a mission for you.

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He explain that,
while I was in gulag,

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US&A was ruin by an evil man

27
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who stood against
all American values.

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His name?

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Barack Obama.

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This led to other Africans
becoming political leaders.

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But then a miracle occurred.

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A magnificent new premier name
McDonald Trump rose to power

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and made America great again.

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He also became buddies

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with tough-guy leaders
across the world:

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Putin,

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Kim Jong-un,

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Bolsonaro

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and Kenneth West.

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Everyone apart from me.
41
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You, Sagdiyev...

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will return to US&A
to deliver a gift

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so that Kazakhstan will earn
the respect of Trump.

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I was instruct
not to give the gift to Trump,

45
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since, on previous mission,

46
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I had accidentally made shit
in front his house.

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So, it must go to
someone in his inner circle.

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America's most famous
ladies man -

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- Michael Pence.
- The vice premier

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was known to be
such a pussy hound

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that he could not be left alone
in a room with a womans.

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What is the gift?

53
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Johnny the Monkey.

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Johnny the Monkey,

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Kazakhstan's Minister of Culture

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and number one porno star.

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A cameraman will follow you to
document your mission.

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I will need my producer,
Azamat Bagatov.

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Impossible.

60
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Why?

61
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You are sitting on him.

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Also, get me a chocolate cake.

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Now, get him ready!

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These gypsy tears will
keep you safe.

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Before I make
commencings my mission,

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I returned to my village
in order to give kiss
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to my sons and make sexy time
with my wife.

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I'm back, everybody! I'm back!

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But I discovered that my
neighbor, Nursultan Tulyakbay,

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had taken everything from me:

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my Mikhael the Mouse pajamas
and my sons,

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Bilak, Biram and Hueylewis.

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That not my name anymore.

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I'm so ashamed of you,

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I change it to...

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Jeffrey

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Epstein.

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All I had left
was my livestocks:

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two pigs, one cow

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and a daughter.
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Once upon a time,

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there was a lowly peasant girl
called Melania

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from shithole country Slovenia

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who dreamed of marrying
a rich old man.

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I have a non-male son?

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Daddy?

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Why are you living like this?

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Because I have no husband to
put me in a beautiful wife cage.

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Unlike that bitch,
Lilyat Sakanov!

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Mm.

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How old are you?

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Fifteen.

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Fifteen?!??

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You're the oldest unmarried
woman in all Kazakhstan!

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I'm so happy that you're back.

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I'm not. I'm off to US&A.

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Please take me with you!

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Not possible.

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Please Daddy.

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Here...

101
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- have a piece of onion instead.
- Sagdiyev.

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Johnny's in the crate.

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You must leave now.

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Uh... nice to meet you.

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I go to America!

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Go to hell, Sagdiyev!

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Don't bother coming back
this time!

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Get lost!
May all your shits have antlers!

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It was time for me
to return to Yankeeland

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to save my peoples.

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While Johnny traveled
by luxury cruise ship,

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I was placed on cargo boat
and arrived 22 days later.

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That afternoon, I procure
a sleeping apartment for Johnny

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and transform it
into accommodation

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- suitable for an ape of his stature.
- Welcome to US&A!

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While waiting for Johnny,

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I decide to make inspection
of nearest village.

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- My name a Borat.
- What do you say?

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- Borat.
- No, it's not me.

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- High five.
- No, that's...

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I must go.

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There was problem.

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People make recognize my face.

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Not me.

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I'll pay you a dollar
for an autograph.

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- You make mistake.
- Can I get an autograph?

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It not me.
Yeah, it somebody else.

128
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Or maybe it was gray suit.

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Borat!

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- I'm not Borat.
- Borat! -Yeah, you are.

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- Yeah, you are. Can't deny it.
- I'm not Borat.

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How would I do

133
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my secretive mission
if I was famous?
134
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I would need disguises.

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- Ah.
- What is this?

136
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- That almost looks like you.
- What is that?

137
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"Stupid foreigner reporter"?

138
00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,483
Yeah. Kind of looks like you.

139
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,152
You got the dark hair
and the mustache.

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No, but this is not like me.

141
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I mean, it does look like you.

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No?

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Take care.

144
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You're welcome. Have a good day.

145
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Much had changed
since I was last in US&A.

146
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America had become
calculator crazy.

147
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I needed to make purchasings
of an electrical abacus.

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I think we could get rid
of this one for $30.

149
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Ah. -Mm-hmm.

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- What this?
- FaceTime.

151
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Yes?

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- And now...
- Hello?

153
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- Hello.
- Who this?

154
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This is Brian.

155
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Hello. I talk to him.
Please be quiet.

156
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Hello? Ghost with blue shirt,
answer me.

157
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You are demon?

158
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This guy that you're seeing
in the phone...

159
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- Please be quiet.
- ...is me.
160
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- What?
- If I say something, he says something.

161
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:03,877
Brian Brother, please,
you must be quiet.

162
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,338
Speakings not polite.

163
00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:09,758
So I'm gonna show you
how you can ask Google questions

164
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,176
and it'll give you answers.

165
00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:13,845
- I can make it typings?
- Yes.

166
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,349
- "Restaurants near me."
- Mm-hmm.

167
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:21,311
Maybe I look for food
that I like to eat.

168
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,563
And for dessert, um...

169
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,987
- What this?
- Ah...

170
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,156
That's not what
you're talking about, I bet.

171
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This is for dessert?

172
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,577
No, this is probably
what you're looking for.

173
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It have a pictures of a woman
with no clothes?

174
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:44,835
- Most likely.
- Wawaweewa.

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Can I make borrowings this,
for one moment?

176
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- Sure.
- I need go, uh, toilet.

177
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,551
Uh, you stay here.

178
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,941
I think he's figuring it out.

179
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,862
Brian help me use calculator

180
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,114
to find out that
Johnny the Monkey

181
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,284
would be deliver
in three hours' time.

182
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,578
I was excite.

183
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,255
- How you doing, my friend? I'm Victor.
- Yeah.

184
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,632
- Pleased to meet you.
- Nice meet you.
185
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,217
- You want me to help you open it?
- Uh, yes, please.

186
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,058
Johnny?

187
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,934
Your Excellency?

188
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,524
What are you doing here?

189
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,278
- I accidentally fell in.
- ...Johnny?

190
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,156
Johnny?

191
00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,076
Johnny?

192
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,036
Johnny?

193
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,334
You ate him...?

194
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,252
No.

195
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,754
He ate himself.

196
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,966
You are going home!

197
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,135
Can you help me
repack her, please?

198
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,683
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
199
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,397
Hammer, now. Now, now. Hammer.

200
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,024
Tatti!

201
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,989
- Thank you, my friend.
- Thank you.

202
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,119
Uh, thank you.

203
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:48,667
I needed to give this
wretched news to my premier,

204
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:53,755
so I used my telephones
to locate America's fax machine.

205
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:58,218
I need to, uh,
make a contact with, uh,

206
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,178
my premier, Nazarbayev.

207
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,390
- I must inform him of some news.
- Okay.

208
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,225
What do you want it to say?

209
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,895
"Sup." S-U-P.

210
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,191
- That it?
- Mm-hmm.

211
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,609
Okay.

212
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,701
He sent you back,
he said "S-U-P"

213
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,287
with a question mark after it.

214
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,831
- "Sup?"
- Ah.

215
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,376
Can you answer him, "Chillin'"?

216
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:34,629
C-H-I-L-L-I...

217
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,470
He sent you a picture this time.

218
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,974
This is him. It's strange.

219
00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,893
Okay.

220
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,272
"Sorry. Not for you.

221
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:55,066
I was sexting my sister."

222
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,869
Uh, sorry.

223
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,500
"How is Johnny?"

224
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,632
Can you write, uh,

225
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:22,093
"He not as alive
as he used to be"?

226
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,845
That's it?

227
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,729
What did he write?

228
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,440
He sent you
a bunch of angry faces.

229
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,194
"If you do not deliver bribe

230
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:42,447
"to get me into strongman club,

231
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:46,076
"you will be execute.

232
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:52,624
You will find a new gift
for him or you will die."

233
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:56,628
What-what else do, uh,
powerful men here like?

234
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,758
...NBC talk show.

235
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,718
I'm gonna get
great ratings on your show.

236
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,387
Trump is surrounded by women

237
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,556
as music blares
in the background.

238
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:11,560
Trump gestures to one
and appears to say to Epstein,

239
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:14,104
"Look at her back there.
She's hot."

240
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:24,906
Can you write, uh,
"My daughter is here.

241
00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:28,243
Shall I give her as gift?"

242
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,499
- What he say?
- "Perfect.

243
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:38,378
She will be sexy gift
for Michael Pence."

244
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,756
Wawaweewa. High five.

245
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,092
Come inside! Come inside!

246
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:49,514
- Daddy, why is the sky so low?
- This is a room.

247
00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:52,601
- I'm sorry I escaped from box...
- Never mind, I forgive you.

248
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,644
I have decide...

249
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,521
that you will stay here with me.

250
00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,440
You have been chosen...

251
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,233
to be given as a gift

252
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,443
to the Vice President.
253
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,864
I will be
the next Queen Melania?

254
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:09,826
- Mm-hmm.
- She's the happiest wife in the world!

255
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,383
Uh...

256
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,303
Now, where do girls sleep?

257
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:32,307
All the answers are in here...

258
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:38,730
'Daughter Owner's Manual.'

259
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,484
Official publication of Ministry
of Agriculture and Wildlife.

260
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:44,944
Wait...

261
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,946
...you have a name?
Wawaweewa.

262
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:48,823
Tutar.

263
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,662
- I need one of these...
- Ah.

264
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:57,040
I know just the place!

265
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,593
Beat you!

266
00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:10,136
What can I help you with?

267
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,181
I prepare my daughter
for market.

268
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:18,311
And, uh, I am looking for, um,
a suitable cage for her.

269
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,314
Okay. A cage?

270
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,274
- This is a pretty nice one here.
- Oh!

271
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,527
- 900 bucks.
- 900? A lot of money.

272
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,405
- Yeah.
- I think this one too expensive for you.

273
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,906
No, Daddy. Please, please?

274
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,866
Please, please, please.
I want it.

275
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,410
She want it.

276
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,203
- Daughters.
- Yeah.

277
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,038
- Teenagers.
- Yeah, you got to make them happy.

278
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,582
You got to make them happy.
Yeah.
279
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,793
How many other girls are gonna
live in here with me?

280
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,169
How many, uh,

281
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:46,089
girls you normally put
in a cage this size?

282
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,174
Uh, one.

283
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,136
But I hear, uh, McDonald Trump,
he, uh,

284
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,179
- cage, uh, Mexican children?
- Well...

285
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,640
- Yes? High five.
- Yeah, yeah.

286
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,104
- What is this?
- You put gas in it, propane.

287
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,690
If I had a gypsy in a van
and I opened the gas,

288
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,442
- will it finish him?
- Yeah, that... Probably.

289
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,943
- Yes?
- Yeah.

290
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,029
How many gypsies could I finish
with one canister?
291
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,615
However many you had in the van.

292
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:17,412
Let's say I wanted to, uh, um,
finish lives of 20 gypsy.

293
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:18,913
Would this be enough?

294
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:19,998
Maybe the bigger one.

295
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,249
- Ah, the bigger one.
- Yeah.

296
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:24,127
All right, you guys,
your total is, uh,

297
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,964
$1,491.82.

298
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,176
Uh, too much.
Maybe I take away some of this.

299
00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,649
We take it all.

300
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,446
One day, she was
invited to a grand ball.

301
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,616
When Fat King Donald
saw Melania...

302
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,704
...he became more turgid
than he'd ever been before.

303
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,125
So, he grabbed her vagine.
304
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,464
Tutar.

305
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,008
Your palace... awaits.

306
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,134
Come see.

307
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,096
Not allowed.

308
00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,224
You like it?

309
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,309
It's the best present
I've ever had!

310
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,020
Is it nicer than Melania's cage?

311
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,396
Not quite,

312
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,108
but similar to cage of
the wife before her...

313
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,443
...Stormy Daniels.

314
00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,237
- Ah.
- Get some sleep.

315
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,699
Tomorrow we will
get you ready for Pence.

316
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:38,743
Well, good night.

317
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,915
Daddy, I love you.
318
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,501
Thank you.

319
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:52,215
There is so little wind in here!

320
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:57,720
Look at me! I'm flying!

321
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,722
Get inside.

322
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,600
Where are we going?

323
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:07,814
I'm taking you to meet one
of America's leading feminists.

324
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,023
Ooh.

325
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,444
Hi, I'm Macy.

326
00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:15,446
- It's nice to meet you.
- Nice meet you.

327
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,865
Come sit with me.

328
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,284
- You are sugar baby.
- I am.

329
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,035
What is sugar baby?

330
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:25,999
So, pretty much, a sugar baby is
a younger girl like you and I,

331
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,459
and we're dating someone
who's older.

332
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,837
- Yes.
- And how old do you like them?

333
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,297
That's the question.

334
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,049
- Nearly dead.
- Okay, then, you should

335
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,843
get someone
who just had a heart attack.

336
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,720
- Yes.
- Okay, high five.

337
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,597
- High five.
- I love that. That's what you want.

338
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,143
As a woman, you never want to be
a person who is aggressive.

339
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:48,897
- You want to be more submissive.
- Oh.

340
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:53,276
We have to be kind of weak.

341
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,652
But I'm strong.

342
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:57,322
I can open a beer
with my small hole.

343
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,866
I can't... I... Look,
344
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,702
we got to be appropriate
and ladylike.

345
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,913
Okay.

346
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:07,373
This is what you're not
supposed to do.

347
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,753
Okay, you did do it.

348
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,840
Okay, so we're not gonna do what
you just did ever on a date.

349
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,800
'Cause if you do that,
they won't like you.

350
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,928
You want them to like you.

351
00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,055
And so that way,
you can get money from them.

352
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,515
What can I do
to make a man like me?

353
00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,560
You need a total makeover. Okay?

354
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:31,439
From face to hair
to clothes to personality

355
00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,691
to gestures
and to what you're doing.

356
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,401
- Yes.
- Are you ready for a makeover?

357
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,111
- Yes.
- Okay.

358
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:42,992
Can you come with me
to the hairdresser?

359
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,871
No, what if they recognize me?

360
00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,665
Just disguise yourself
as an American.

361
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,668
I'm Melinda.

362
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,836
My name John Chevrolet.

363
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,546
Nice to meet you.

364
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:58,800
I want you to make a hotsie
out of this notsie.

365
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,427
- We can do it.
- You want to see the hair?

366
00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,388
I would like
to see her hair, yes.

367
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:06,140
- Okay.
- No, ma'am. Not that hair.

368
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:09,727
I have a, um, idea of a hair.

369
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:10,687
Okay.

370
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,063
This one. Nice one.

371
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,190
This is actually a gentleman.

372
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,900
- This is a man?
- Yes, sir.

373
00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,616
Okay, so we're gonna do
a spray tan today.

374
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,451
How dark is she wanting to go?

375
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,829
What color is best
for racist family?

376
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,539
I would say right here.

377
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,708
I wouldn't go any darker
than a six or a seven.

378
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,126
Tatti.

379
00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:36,004
Tatti. Monkey's cock.

380
00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,172
Don't.

381
00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:40,383
- Delicious. -That is not to eat.
- No, no, no.

382
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,010
And what, uh, flavor this one?
Can I...?
383
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:46,347
It's not a flavor... Awesome.

384
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,183
- It's not so nice.
- It's not food. I told you that.

385
00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:52,520
Wawaweewa.

386
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:58,192
I need dress
with real sexy peels.

387
00:21:58,276 --> 00:21:59,360
Okay.

388
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:02,739
Where is the "no means yes"
section?

389
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,369
Yes?

390
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,831
Okay, we need to try this on.

391
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,298
- This is not a dress.
- What this?

392
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:21,966
Uh, this is a bag...

393
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:24,093
- Mm.
- ...that just goes over the dress.

394
00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:25,595
Very nice.

395
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,264
- Tutar, you like the dress?
- Yes, I love it.
396
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:32,185
- The man who own this, his name Michelle?
- No.

397
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,728
This is my store.

398
00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:35,938
My name's Michelle,
and I own this store.

399
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,608
- What?
- Yes.

400
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,404
Daddy, a woman can
own a business?

401
00:22:43,488 --> 00:22:45,031
Uh...

402
00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:48,576
No, when a woman owns
a business her brain breaks

403
00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,119
and her head falls off.

404
00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:51,621
Just like the previous
owners, look...

405
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,957
So young...
tragic.

406
00:22:57,794 --> 00:22:59,921
Could a woman ever
be a journalist?

407
00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:02,131
No, it's dangerous.

408
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,425
Look at the manual.
409
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:08,304
This happened when a
woman tried to be a journalist.

410
00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:13,226
What about driving a car?

411
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,852
Driving a car!?

412
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:17,688
This is what happened
when a woman drove a car.

413
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,443
Can a woman ask questions?

414
00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:23,986
Questions?

415
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,281
I think it's dangerous.

416
00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:28,950
Ah.

417
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,453
Time for bed.

418
00:23:32,537 --> 00:23:36,290
Tomorrow you'll observe how
American girls behave in public.

419
00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:40,920
Howdy, folks. Welcome.

420
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:45,925
Look, Daddy!

421
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,636
The fathers hold
their daughter's hands here!

422
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,930
He probably forgot
to bring a leash.

423
00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:52,348
Daddy, hold my hand

424
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,892
or they will know you are fake

425
00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:25,047
Could a daddy
ever love a daughter

426
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,716
as much as he love his sons?

427
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:32,096
No, any father who did that
would be sentenced to death.

428
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:33,181
Uh-huh.

429
00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:36,642
- Howdy doody.
- Hey, how are ya?

430
00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:38,853
I would like purchase a cake.

431
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,814
- Mm-hmm.
- Prodigious size,

432
00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:44,025
made of chocolate
for my glorious leader, please.

433
00:24:44,108 --> 00:24:45,067
Okay.

434
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,195
Can you put, um...

435
00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:48,946
- message on it, please?
- By the... Yes, sir.

436
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:50,865
What would you like on this?

437
00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:52,033
Um...

438
00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:54,368
"Jews...

439
00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:57,413
will not replace us."

440
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,665
Okay.

441
00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:06,214
And maybe smiley face
underneath.

442
00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:08,299
- Okay.
- To put him in a good mood.

443
00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:12,470
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

444
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:15,223
- If we could pack that up, please. Thank you.
- Yes.

445
00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:17,141
Is there anything else
I can help you with?

446
00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:18,893
- This is enough. Thank you very much.
- You sure?

447
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:20,311
- Yes, that's it.
- Okay, thank you.

448
00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:22,813
I want to have a cake too.

449
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,607
No. Daughters are not
allowed to have cake.

450
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:26,817
Please! Please! Please!

451
00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:28,778
It is illegal to give you treat.

452
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,529
Teenagers.

453
00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:33,157
Please, give it to me, Daddy!
Give it to me!

454
00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:34,867
Give it to me! Give it to me!

455
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:37,328
- Okay, choose cake, choose cake.
- A new one? Okay.

456
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,291
You want to pick it out?

457
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:44,252
I will regret this.

458
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,921
- I want this one with the baby on it.
- Okay.

459
00:25:47,004 --> 00:25:48,464
It have a lot of cream.

460
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:54,011
This is our little secret.

461
00:25:54,095 --> 00:25:55,388
No, no, no.

462
00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:58,557
I do not want
the authorities to see.

463
00:25:58,641 --> 00:26:01,185
Ooo! I can't wait to eat this!

464
00:26:01,269 --> 00:26:02,561
Hide back here.

465
00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,022
Ready.

466
00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:06,482
Okay, slow down!

467
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,858
But it's so good!

468
00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:10,278
I know, but go slower, slower!

469
00:26:10,361 --> 00:26:12,154
Oh, oh, oh, oh!

470
00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:16,325
Are you ok?

471
00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:18,577
I swallowed the baby.

472
00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,621
Are you serious?

473
00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:21,831
I swallowed the baby.

474
00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:23,958
You're not supposed
to eat the baby!

475
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:28,713
Hurry, come with me!

476
00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:30,673
We must get you to a doctor!

477
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,886
- I have a baby inside me.
- Mm-hmm.

478
00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:38,306
And I want to take it out of me.

479
00:26:38,389 --> 00:26:39,557
Mm-hmm.

480
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,643
Right.

481
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:44,312
She want it out now, please.

482
00:26:44,395 --> 00:26:45,896
- Right, I...
- Can you take it out?

483
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,231
No, we cannot.

484
00:26:47,315 --> 00:26:49,317
- That's not what we do here.
- And why not?

485
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,569
- What you say, "take it out..."
- Yes.

486
00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:52,903
You end that life.

487
00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:54,864
That-that life will die.

488
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:56,324
Well, it already dead.
It not living.

489
00:26:56,407 --> 00:26:58,242
No, it is living right now.
It has a heart...
490
00:26:58,326 --> 00:27:00,870
- No, it this big.
- It has a heartbeat right now.

491
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,038
I don't think so.

492
00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,539
It is a living,

493
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:06,000
breathing life
that God has created.

494
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:07,585
I don't think he's breathing.

495
00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,504
We can show you
that it's breathing.

496
00:27:10,588 --> 00:27:12,673
- It hurt my stomach.
- Mm-hmm.

497
00:27:12,757 --> 00:27:15,259
And it will hurt my asshole.

498
00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:17,386
- Mm-hmm.
- If it come out,

499
00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:20,056
yes, because the-the arm,

500
00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:22,516
the arm like this.

501
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,102
- It can tear it.
- Right.

502
00:27:25,186 --> 00:27:30,316
I feel bad because I was
the one who put the baby in her.
503
00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:31,901
You don't need to feel bad.

504
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:34,653
I was just trying to give
my daughter pleasure,

505
00:27:34,737 --> 00:27:37,156
and next thing I know,
there is a baby inside her.

506
00:27:37,239 --> 00:27:38,491
Mm-hmm.

507
00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,285
- You keep calling her your daughter.
- Yes.

508
00:27:41,369 --> 00:27:42,787
Okay.

509
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:45,498
- Is he your father?
- Yes.

510
00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:46,624
- This is your daughter?
- Yes.

511
00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,876
- Yes.
- Okay.

512
00:27:50,378 --> 00:27:52,671
I wanted to give
my daughter a treat...

513
00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:54,382
I understand. I...
I don't need to hear any...

514
00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:56,675
- And she was...
- I don't need to hear any more of that.

515
00:27:56,759 --> 00:27:58,761
- I understand...
- She just had to...

516
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,304
...that-that she is...

517
00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:01,972
- But look at that face.
- I understand.

518
00:28:02,056 --> 00:28:03,849
- How could I not give it to her?
- I understand.

519
00:28:03,933 --> 00:28:05,601
- Would you have not give it to her?
- I understand.

520
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:07,353
Listen, uh, it really...

521
00:28:07,436 --> 00:28:10,606
That is not important right now.

522
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,191
We're at this moment.

523
00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:15,111
It really doesn't matter
how we got to this moment.

524
00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:18,489
When he treat me, he said, "This
will be our little secret."

525
00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:21,659
Yes, this is why I do it
here behind a dumpster,

526
00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:24,495
so no... no one can see.

527
00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:27,331
Now that you know
that I am her father,
528
00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:29,375
can we take it out now, please?

529
00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:31,836
God is the one who creates life.

530
00:28:31,919 --> 00:28:34,422
And God doesn't make accidents.

531
00:28:37,633 --> 00:28:40,261
- Push!
- Oh, it hurt!

532
00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:42,471
- Hurt!
- Push out the baby!

533
00:28:45,141 --> 00:28:47,643
- Push it out.
- Ooh, it hurt!

534
00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:48,978
Push...

535
00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:50,438
The baby, it out.

536
00:28:50,521 --> 00:28:51,814
Okay, flush it down.

537
00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:54,483
But the Jesus people said
we have to keep it.

538
00:28:54,567 --> 00:28:56,444
It disgusting. It smell retched.

539
00:28:56,527 --> 00:28:58,112
Flush the baby away!

540
00:28:58,195 --> 00:28:59,280
I'm keeping it.

541
00:28:59,363 --> 00:29:01,157
Okay, okay.
542
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:05,703
- Ah, she want to keep the baby.
- Mm.

543
00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:07,663
You know what it's like.

544
00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:11,876
Tutar...

545
00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:15,838
Your makeover is complete...
I think you are ready for Pence.

546
00:29:15,921 --> 00:29:18,007
- Really?
- Mm.

547
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:21,093
But to be sure, let's have
a practice run tonight.

548
00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:22,887
Cinderella...

549
00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:24,847
it's time...

550
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:26,682
to go to a ball.

551
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,401
Before the ball,

552
00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:40,488
I would meet with fancy lady
who would help me

553
00:29:40,571 --> 00:29:43,407
introduce my daughter
to high societies.

554
00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,534
Hi. How are you today?
555
00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:47,620
Good. Uh, Cliff. Cliff Safari.

556
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:49,914
And my name is Dr. Jeanie.

557
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:52,124
So nice to meet you today.

558
00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:54,835
My daughter, Miss Ellie,
I need to get her

559
00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:57,713
ready for ball.

560
00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,798
So the thing about it is

561
00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:03,052
we want to get
your daughter all prepared

562
00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:06,722
by showing her
the right kinds of things to do.

563
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:07,932
Hell yeah!

564
00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:26,116
Now let us present
the debutantes.

565
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,495
Miss Mamie Henderson,
daughter of Mr. Bill Henderson

566
00:30:29,578 --> 00:30:31,163
and Laura Schofield.

567
00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:33,791
She is presented by her father.

568
00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:35,834
Daddy, you need to hold my arm,

569
00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:38,712
so they think we're American.

570
00:30:38,796 --> 00:30:41,215
Okay... just this once.

571
00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:44,510
Sandra Jessica Parker Drummond

572
00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:49,640
and her father,
Professor Phillip Drummond III.

573
00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:52,643
Miss Drummond is attending
Grand Canyon University

574
00:30:52,726 --> 00:30:55,145
where she is double majoring
in cage maintenance

575
00:30:55,229 --> 00:30:58,732
and electronics
with a focus on VCR repair.

576
00:31:00,693 --> 00:31:03,571
When I at the ball,
is it sufficient

577
00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:07,449
to make little braggings
about little missy?

578
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:09,243
Maybe, yes.

579
00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:10,536
And you know what?

580
00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:15,082
You have to do it
very, let's say...

581
00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:16,584
graciously.

582
00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:18,711
- That's your daughter?
- Yeah.

583
00:31:18,794 --> 00:31:22,214
- That's what we love in the South.
- Yeah.

584
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:24,216
- Pretty girls.
- Yeah.

585
00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:27,720
Okay. It's-it's... They're fun.

586
00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:31,890
How much you think
my daughter is worth?

587
00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:33,976
Five hundred dollars.

588
00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:35,519
Ooh, thank you.

589
00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:38,981
You my best friend, buddy.

590
00:31:40,983 --> 00:31:44,069
- It's all a...
- That's fucking gross.

591
00:31:44,153 --> 00:31:47,364
My daughter have
her moon blood arrive.

592
00:31:47,448 --> 00:31:50,242
Can she still go to a ball?

593
00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:51,744
- Mm-hmm.
- Ah, good, so she...

594
00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:54,622
We're able to do
a lot of things even though

595
00:31:54,705 --> 00:31:58,917
we have womanly things
that we go through every...

596
00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:01,211
moon time you're talking about.

597
00:32:11,722 --> 00:32:15,517
We'd now like to invite
Sandra Jessica Parker Drummond

598
00:32:15,601 --> 00:32:20,564
and her father,
Professor Phillip Drummond III,

599
00:32:20,648 --> 00:32:22,441
for our traditional
father/daughter dance.

600
00:32:22,524 --> 00:32:25,277
It's my moon blood.

601
00:32:25,361 --> 00:32:26,820
It started?

602
00:32:26,904 --> 00:32:29,156
Yes.

603
00:32:29,239 --> 00:32:31,241
Fantastic!

604
00:32:31,325 --> 00:32:33,202
Now we can wow them...

605
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:36,622
with our traditional
fertility dance!

606
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:43,754
Um, can you play...

607
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:07,337
I will never get to live in a
golden cage like Melania!

608
00:34:10,841 --> 00:34:13,218
Why do American men hate me?

609
00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:40,996
Come in.

610
00:34:42,706 --> 00:34:44,208
Really?

611
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:45,834
Do you mean it, Daddy?

612
00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:54,468
- Thank you so much, Daddy.
- Okay.

613
00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:31,755
Tutar!

614
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:35,050
I've got great news!

615
00:35:35,759 --> 00:35:38,136
Pence is speaking nearby.

616
00:35:38,220 --> 00:35:39,888
We'll gift you today.

617
00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:42,975
- But I am not ready yet.
- Of course you're ready!

618
00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:45,018
You are ready
for the golden cage!

619
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,187
Okay, Daddy!

620
00:35:53,318 --> 00:35:57,281
Finally the time had come
to deliver my daughter

621
00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:59,324
to the vice pussy-grabber.

622
00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:01,118
But how would I slip in

623
00:36:01,201 --> 00:36:04,705
to this conference
of Republicans unnoticed?

624
00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:07,374
Suddenly, I had an idea.

625
00:36:11,003 --> 00:36:13,589
I'm Stephen Miller.
Sorry I'm late.

626
00:36:26,727 --> 00:36:29,021
I needed to get Tutar to Pence,

627
00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:31,857
the only man
that Trump would trust.

628
00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:35,360
But who does Pence trust?

629
00:36:35,444 --> 00:36:38,363
I knew the disguise
I had to use.

630
00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:48,332
Tutar, it's me.

631
00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,667
- Huh? Oh.
- Hop on! We are running late.

632
00:36:53,295 --> 00:36:55,589
I know you're ready
to demonstrate how much

633
00:36:55,672 --> 00:36:59,051
you appreciate everything
he does for our country.

634
00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:01,720
And it's my honor
to introduce to you

635
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:03,138
the vice president
of the United States,

636
00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,641
Michael R. Pence.

637
00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:26,703
As of today,

638
00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:28,372
we have 15 cases of coronavirus

639
00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:30,707
that have been detected
in the United States

640
00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:34,711
with only one new case detected
in the last two weeks.

641
00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:38,715
And while the risk
to the American public

642
00:37:38,799 --> 00:37:43,512
remains low, as the president
said yesterday,

643
00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:46,723
"We're ready.
We're ready for anything."

644
00:37:51,853 --> 00:37:54,147
- It's actually on the verge...
- Michael Pen-is!

645
00:37:54,231 --> 00:37:56,566
Michael Pen-is!
I brought a girl for you!

646
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:59,403
Don't worry,
I won't get jealous!

647
00:37:59,486 --> 00:38:00,821
She not Ivanka.

648
00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,197
Get out!

649
00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:05,242
Pussy Hound Pen-is!

650
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,077
You just hit me, man.
You just hit me.

651
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:08,912
Don't punch me.

652
00:38:08,996 --> 00:38:10,497
Mike, help me!

653
00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:13,959
Mike, you're fired!

654
00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:15,460
Four more years!

655
00:38:15,544 --> 00:38:18,171
Four more years!
Four more years!

656
00:38:18,255 --> 00:38:19,548
Four more years!

657
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,341
Four more years!

658
00:38:21,425 --> 00:38:23,427
- A hundred more years!
- Four more years!

659
00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:25,637
If you release me,
I'll give you my Klan robes.

660
00:38:25,721 --> 00:38:27,597
- Don't stop. Keep moving.
- How about my wig?

661
00:38:27,681 --> 00:38:29,307
Don't stop. Keep moving.

662
00:38:29,391 --> 00:38:34,062
The United States Senate
cleared our president on all...

663
00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:42,279
Please make faxy-meal of this.

664
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:46,324
"Premier Nazarbayev,
I have unfortunate news.

665
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:51,371
"Michael Pence did not
accept her as a gift.

666
00:38:51,455 --> 00:38:53,790
Yours, Borat."

667
00:38:53,874 --> 00:38:56,543
- And then put sad face.
- "Sad face."

668
00:38:56,626 --> 00:38:59,087
Okay.

669
00:39:02,632 --> 00:39:05,761
"Return immediately
to die in excruciating pain.

670
00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:09,306
"You will be tied to two cows
who will face Uzbeks

671
00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:11,433
"with turnips
inserted in their assholes.

672
00:39:11,516 --> 00:39:16,688
"Uzbeks will be enticed away
with money and cows will follow
673
00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:19,941
to eat turnips,
ripping you apart."

674
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:32,996
What's the matter, Daddy?

675
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:34,706
Nothing.

676
00:39:34,790 --> 00:39:37,667
Will they hurt you?

677
00:39:38,668 --> 00:39:41,463
Of course not.

678
00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:46,301
Could I be a gift
to this friend of Trump instead?

679
00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,720
No, he's in jail.

680
00:39:48,804 --> 00:39:49,679
What about this one?

681
00:39:49,763 --> 00:39:51,765
In jail too.

682
00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:52,766
Him?

683
00:39:53,558 --> 00:39:54,434
Arrested.

684
00:39:54,518 --> 00:39:55,352
Him?

685
00:39:55,435 --> 00:39:57,229
House arrest.

686
00:39:57,312 --> 00:40:01,358
What about Rudolph Giuliani?
687
00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:16,790
What he say?

688
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:19,126
"If you can deliver her to Rudy,

689
00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:20,627
you will live."

690
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:24,214
High five!

691
00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,591
- You're not gonna be killed.
- I love you.

692
00:40:35,934 --> 00:40:39,354
Donald Trump is a man with
a big heart who loves people...

693
00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:40,939
All people,

694
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:45,193
from the top to the bottom,
from the middle to the side!

695
00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:48,697
Rudolph was McDonald's
best buddy in whole world,

696
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:53,743
and also very dignified
statesman of the highest order.

697
00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:55,412
You don't know what
you're talking about, idiot.

698
00:40:55,495 --> 00:40:57,914
- Shut up, moron. Shut up.
- Rudy. Rudy. Okay.

699
00:40:57,998 --> 00:40:59,958
This would not be easy.
700
00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:03,211
Luckily, I discover
his preference for womens

701
00:41:03,295 --> 00:41:06,882
with ample
cheese-producing capacity.

702
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:10,093
I take my daughter
to man who can help.

703
00:41:12,846 --> 00:41:14,389
After me.

704
00:41:16,016 --> 00:41:17,559
I want very much

705
00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:21,855
her to be attract to...
top-level guy.

706
00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:25,859
Well, what I would suggest is
that we do some simple things.

707
00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:29,613
Like a little r-refinement
of the nose.

708
00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,990
What's wrong with my nose?

709
00:41:32,073 --> 00:41:33,950
Do I look like a Jew?

710
00:41:34,034 --> 00:41:35,827
No, ma'am. Not at all.

711
00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,956
- Oh, that...
- Because a Jew...

712
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,958
- Yeah, she was, uh, very sad.
- A Jew...
713
00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:43,668
A Jew would be like this.

714
00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,879
Jew nose more out,

715
00:41:45,962 --> 00:41:49,633
out a bit more, down here,

716
00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:51,551
then down a bit here,

717
00:41:51,635 --> 00:41:53,553
bump, bump, in.

718
00:41:53,637 --> 00:41:55,513
It can be that bad, yes.

719
00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:57,057
- Mm.
- Then, if you like,

720
00:41:57,140 --> 00:41:59,184
what I would suggest

721
00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:01,436
is that maybe we put
some breast implants.

722
00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:02,562
And what it mean, "breast"?

723
00:42:02,646 --> 00:42:04,522
- The-the breast. Titty.
- Mm.

724
00:42:04,606 --> 00:42:05,523
Titty?

725
00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:06,942
- Titty.
- Titty?

726
00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:07,943
Titty.

727
00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:09,110
- Titty?
- Titty.

728
00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:11,613
- Titty.
- Or breast.

729
00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:14,991
I want a man who wants
to make a sex attack on me.

730
00:42:15,075 --> 00:42:17,202
Mm-hmm.

731
00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:19,496
I think that would be most men.

732
00:42:19,579 --> 00:42:21,831
Would you make a sex attack
with me?

733
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:25,126
Uh...

734
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,045
if your father was not here.

735
00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:30,757
- Ooh.
- Ah!

736
00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:34,469
- Hello.
- Hello.

737
00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:39,015
So, altogether,
the total is $21,751.

738
00:42:39,099 --> 00:42:41,309
How much?

739
00:42:41,393 --> 00:42:44,229
$21,751.

740
00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:47,107
- Tenge or dollar?
- Dollars.

741
00:42:48,608 --> 00:42:49,734
Okay.

742
00:42:49,818 --> 00:42:53,321
- With the, uh, saline implant...
- Yes?

743
00:42:53,405 --> 00:42:57,575
Um, could you take off
some money if instead, uh,

744
00:42:57,659 --> 00:42:59,703
you use potatoes?

745
00:42:59,786 --> 00:43:01,997
- Uh, we cannot use potatoes.
- Why not?

746
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,374
Because potatoes aren't sterile.

747
00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:05,917
This a very good potato.

748
00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:07,877
But you cannot take a potato

749
00:43:07,961 --> 00:43:10,088
- and put it in the body.
- Expensive one.

750
00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:13,550
What if we allow, uh, perverts
in to watch the surgery?

751
00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,051
Can we have reduction?

752
00:43:15,135 --> 00:43:17,512
You can keep the money
that they pay you.

753
00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,097
Uh, absolutely not.

754
00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:21,808
The more people you bring in,
the more germs come in.

755
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:23,476
You cannot do that.

756
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,688
The perverts have to be
medical personnel.

757
00:43:26,771 --> 00:43:29,441
They have to be
either a doctor or a nurse.

758
00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:31,484
I want to make sure that, uh,

759
00:43:31,568 --> 00:43:33,987
the man I give her to
is very happy

760
00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:37,032
- and will not return her.
- Okay.

761
00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:39,451
So the quality
must be tip-top. Will it be?

762
00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:40,660
It will be tip-top.

763
00:43:40,744 --> 00:43:42,454
It'll be more than tip-top.

764
00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:45,457
- Are you able to pay this amount? Yes?
- Yes, I have.

765
00:43:46,624 --> 00:43:48,126
Okay. Thank you.

766
00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:50,128
One, two,

767
00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:52,756
three, four, five, six, seven...

768
00:43:52,839 --> 00:43:54,132
Ooh.

769
00:43:54,215 --> 00:43:56,676
That's a lot of money,
but worth it.

770
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,929
So after you give me
as a gift...

771
00:44:00,013 --> 00:44:02,557
...you will leave me?

772
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:03,892
Of course.

773
00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:07,645
I will go home and you
will have new owner.

774
00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:11,608
So I will never see you again?

775
00:44:12,942 --> 00:44:16,613
You expected me to come
live with you both?

776
00:44:18,281 --> 00:44:20,700
No... of course not.

777
00:44:20,784 --> 00:44:23,453
Hmm.

778
00:44:23,536 --> 00:44:26,748
The manual would forbid it.

779
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:41,471
You have, uh, sufficient?

780
00:44:41,554 --> 00:44:44,432
Uh, no, I'm short $72.

781
00:44:44,516 --> 00:44:46,226
And if we do not get to this,

782
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:49,479
- you cannot make the surgery anyway?
- Right.

783
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,981
And the surgery
will start at 6:00 p.m.

784
00:44:52,065 --> 00:44:55,860
I only have 24 hours
to get you $72?

785
00:44:55,944 --> 00:44:57,612
Well, yes.

786
00:44:58,655 --> 00:45:00,657
We better get to work.

787
00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:03,993
To pay for new chests,
I would need employment.

788
00:45:04,077 --> 00:45:05,787
So, next day,

789
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:08,289
I leave my daughter with babysitter.

790
00:45:08,373 --> 00:45:09,833
Hello.

791
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,293
Uh, what your name?

792
00:45:12,377 --> 00:45:14,504
- Jeanise.
- Jeanise. Nice meet you.
793
00:45:14,587 --> 00:45:16,423
Nice meeting you.

794
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:26,266
So what is that, like, a treat?

795
00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:28,560
Treat, uh, yeah.

796
00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:32,730
Uh, when she perform
a command correctly,

797
00:45:32,814 --> 00:45:34,983
click, you give her a treat.

798
00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:38,653
Um... Oh. Okay.

799
00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,572
This is her ball.

800
00:45:40,655 --> 00:45:43,283
Um, it make her feel safe.

801
00:45:44,993 --> 00:45:48,246
Uh, for water, uh,
please use this.

802
00:45:48,329 --> 00:45:51,207
Uh, we drink water
out of a glass.

803
00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:52,750
Uh, the strings in her brain

804
00:45:52,834 --> 00:45:55,211
might break
if you try to teach her,

805
00:45:55,295 --> 00:45:56,921
so be careful, please.

806
00:45:57,005 --> 00:45:59,382
You said it's her strings
in her brain might break?

807
00:45:59,466 --> 00:46:01,718
They can be strain
and sometimes pop.

808
00:46:01,801 --> 00:46:03,845
One of them already...

809
00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:06,890
she saw something and, uh,
it was complicate for her,

810
00:46:06,973 --> 00:46:09,726
and I hear the noise. "Ding."

811
00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:12,395
Oh, my God. Really.

812
00:46:12,479 --> 00:46:13,605
See you later.

813
00:46:13,688 --> 00:46:15,482
Don't leave me here.

814
00:46:15,565 --> 00:46:17,650
See you later
at the titty doctor.

815
00:46:19,152 --> 00:46:20,904
All right.

816
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:23,823
The mutilations
would commence in five hours.

817
00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:27,535
Luckily, I get hired for job.

818
00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:29,370
What would you like?
I can, um...

819
00:46:29,454 --> 00:46:30,663
take it all off?
820
00:46:30,747 --> 00:46:32,499
Keep it where it's, you know...

821
00:46:32,582 --> 00:46:34,125
Above the ears is fine.

822
00:46:38,505 --> 00:46:40,256
- Want me shave your arms?
- No.

823
00:46:40,340 --> 00:46:43,092
- No?
- No. You're not gonna shave my hair off, are you?

824
00:46:43,176 --> 00:46:44,969
- No, no, no.
- Okay.

825
00:46:45,053 --> 00:46:48,640
Uh, I am good, though.
I have done, um...

826
00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,852
But you do
mostly animals, though, right?

827
00:46:52,936 --> 00:46:54,521
Uh, no.

828
00:46:54,604 --> 00:46:58,358
Uh, this, uh, Billy Sexcrime
before they remove his chram.

829
00:46:58,441 --> 00:47:00,485
I remove his pubis.
I was given honor.

830
00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:02,195
Oh, that's great.

831
00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:07,367
To your satisfaction, sir?

832
00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:12,163
That's fine.
833
00:47:14,958 --> 00:47:16,668
That's fine.

834
00:47:22,757 --> 00:47:24,300
That's fine.

835
00:47:24,384 --> 00:47:27,178
What's in the book?

836
00:47:27,262 --> 00:47:29,138
This is our book.

837
00:47:29,222 --> 00:47:30,974
Can I read you a story?

838
00:47:31,057 --> 00:47:33,518
- You can't read.
- I can read.

839
00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:35,728
- Are you a man?
- No, I'm not a man.

840
00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:37,355
Show me your putka.

841
00:47:37,438 --> 00:47:40,984
I'm not showing you anything.
But I'm a woman.

842
00:47:43,194 --> 00:47:47,699
This... is my favorite.

843
00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:50,243
"The true story of Nada..."

844
00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:52,870
- Nadia Akatov.
- Okay.

845
00:47:52,954 --> 00:47:55,373
"...who once caught
a terrible disease

846
00:47:55,456 --> 00:47:57,417
"called curiosity.

847
00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:03,339
"It cause her one night to

848
00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:06,718
touch her... vagine?"

849
00:48:06,801 --> 00:48:09,596
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

850
00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:13,099
"Her vagine became very angry...

851
00:48:14,726 --> 00:48:16,603
...and bit her hand."

852
00:48:16,686 --> 00:48:18,730
- You okay?
- Yes.

853
00:48:18,813 --> 00:48:20,231
- It's just a story?
- Yes.

854
00:48:20,315 --> 00:48:22,275
- You want me to...
- But it's a true story.

855
00:48:22,358 --> 00:48:24,527
- It's a true story?
- Yes.

856
00:48:24,611 --> 00:48:28,740
"Then suck all of her insides...

857
00:48:30,283 --> 00:48:33,202
...where she remains
to this day."

858
00:48:33,286 --> 00:48:34,579
Yes.

859
00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,831
This is not a true story.
860
00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:39,250
- Okay?
- It is a true story.

861
00:48:39,334 --> 00:48:40,918
No, no, it's not a true story.

862
00:48:41,002 --> 00:48:43,630
Your vagine cannot bite.

863
00:48:43,713 --> 00:48:46,883
It cannot suck your arms
to a ball.

864
00:48:46,966 --> 00:48:48,343
It can't do that.

865
00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:50,136
But my tatti told me that.

866
00:48:50,219 --> 00:48:52,180
- Okay.
- He tell me the truth.

867
00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:54,474
I mean, I understand
what you're saying,

868
00:48:54,557 --> 00:48:57,226
- that your daddy told you that.
- Yes.

869
00:48:57,310 --> 00:48:58,853
But that's not the real world.

870
00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:01,606
- Are you touch your vagine?
- Who, me?

871
00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:03,691
- Yes.
- Have I ever touched it?

872
00:49:03,775 --> 00:49:05,151
- Yes.
- Yes.

873
00:49:05,234 --> 00:49:07,153
- No.
- Yes.

874
00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:09,697
- You can't touch your...
- And I... Yes, and I'm here.

875
00:49:09,781 --> 00:49:12,700
Didn't n-nothing ate me up.

876
00:49:12,784 --> 00:49:14,285
See, I'm here.

877
00:49:14,369 --> 00:49:15,870
You ready?

878
00:49:17,330 --> 00:49:18,539
What are you doing?

879
00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:20,041
We're driving.

880
00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,292
Women can drive.

881
00:49:21,376 --> 00:49:23,127
Don't cry.

882
00:49:23,211 --> 00:49:25,129
Don't cry. Don't cry.

883
00:49:25,213 --> 00:49:26,631
- It's okay.
- You can't drive!

884
00:49:26,714 --> 00:49:27,965
You can't drive!

885
00:49:28,049 --> 00:49:29,217
- I can drive. I can.
- You can't drive!

886
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,760
- It's impossible woman to drive!
- No, no.

887
00:49:30,843 --> 00:49:32,220
- This is...
- No, no, no!

888
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,555
- You are a man dressed like a woman.
- No. No.

889
00:49:34,639 --> 00:49:36,140
Help me!

890
00:49:36,224 --> 00:49:38,476
It's a woman driving the car!

891
00:49:41,104 --> 00:49:42,313
May I?

892
00:49:46,359 --> 00:49:47,527
Thank you.

893
00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:53,032
Great success! I had the money.

894
00:49:53,116 --> 00:49:58,329
It was time for the surgeon
to insert Tutar's potatoes.

895
00:50:01,124 --> 00:50:03,167
Did you have a good time?

896
00:50:03,251 --> 00:50:06,129
- Yes.
- I'm glad.

897
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:08,214
What you finna do?

898
00:50:08,297 --> 00:50:10,091
I will get the surgery
so my daddy

899
00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:14,846
can give me as a present
for this American man.

900
00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:16,723
What kind of surgery?

901
00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:21,060
I will have the biggest titties
in the whole world.

902
00:50:21,144 --> 00:50:24,689
Okay, so you're getting
plastic surgery at 15.

903
00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:26,274
Yes.

904
00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:28,651
- When you getting that done?
- Now.

905
00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:30,778
- Now?
- Yes.

906
00:50:30,862 --> 00:50:33,865
Well, do you want that?

907
00:50:35,158 --> 00:50:36,743
Seriously.

908
00:50:38,286 --> 00:50:40,747
No, you don't,
'cause you would've said yes.

909
00:50:40,830 --> 00:50:41,998
I excite.

910
00:50:42,081 --> 00:50:44,417
You excite, but that's not
what you want.

911
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:47,170
Okay, I don't think
you need to do that.

912
00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:50,089
'Cause you're pretty
and you're young.

913
00:50:50,173 --> 00:50:55,011
And any man should
like you as you are.

914
00:50:55,094 --> 00:50:59,015
You shouldn't want to be
anybody else but yourself.

915
00:50:59,098 --> 00:51:01,601
But if I have enormous titties,

916
00:51:01,684 --> 00:51:04,312
I don't have to learn
how to swim.

917
00:51:04,395 --> 00:51:07,148
Your-your titties will not
keep you from drowning.

918
00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:09,776
You will still have to
learn how to swim.

919
00:51:09,859 --> 00:51:11,694
They will protect me.

920
00:51:11,778 --> 00:51:15,114
How will they protect you?
They titties.

921
00:51:15,198 --> 00:51:18,242
Titties are not gonna
keep you out the water.

922
00:51:18,326 --> 00:51:22,038
You are pretty.
You're a pretty...

923
00:51:22,121 --> 00:51:23,581
Girl, look at yourself.

924
00:51:23,664 --> 00:51:25,625
Look. Look.
925
00:51:25,708 --> 00:51:28,711
You see yourself?

926
00:51:28,795 --> 00:51:30,546
Huh?

927
00:51:32,465 --> 00:51:34,300
Yes, you are beautiful.

928
00:51:34,383 --> 00:51:37,512
So I don't see anything
on your body or on your face

929
00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:38,971
that need to change.

930
00:51:39,055 --> 00:51:40,973
I want you to be happy.

931
00:51:41,057 --> 00:51:42,934
But I wish you would
just think about

932
00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:44,560
some of the stuff I said.

933
00:51:44,644 --> 00:51:46,521
Think about going to school.

934
00:51:46,604 --> 00:51:50,358
Use your brain, 'cause
your daddy is a liar, okay?

935
00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:54,070
My daddy's the smartest person
in the whole flat world.

936
00:51:56,489 --> 00:51:59,450
Mm, I can't, I can't say
nothing about that,

937
00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:03,704
but you got a big brain
up there, so use it.
938
00:52:03,788 --> 00:52:04,914
Just think.

939
00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:07,250
'Cause I don't think
you need to change.

940
00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:09,418
I will think about it.

941
00:52:09,502 --> 00:52:11,087
Hey, that's all I want.
That's all I want.

942
00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:12,630
I want you to think about it.

943
00:52:12,713 --> 00:52:15,341
That's all I want for you,
just to think about it.

944
00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:40,700
Another woman.

945
00:52:57,633 --> 00:52:59,594
- Adam Schiff.
- Oh, my God. He's so...

946
00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:01,012
What a loser.

947
00:53:05,516 --> 00:53:06,934
So what's your name?

948
00:53:07,018 --> 00:53:08,060
I'm Tutar.

949
00:53:08,144 --> 00:53:09,020
- Really?
- Nice to meet you, Tutar.

950
00:53:09,103 --> 00:53:10,479
Nice meet you.

951
00:53:10,563 --> 00:53:11,856
Do you drive a car?

952
00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:12,940
- Yes.
- Oh, absolutely.

953
00:53:13,024 --> 00:53:14,442
- Sure.
- More than one.

954
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:15,943
- More than one.
- Well, not at the same time.

955
00:53:16,027 --> 00:53:18,821
- What?!
- We drive a car. We own cars.

956
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,825
So the mans sometimes tell lies?

957
00:53:22,909 --> 00:53:25,536
Yes. A-A lot.

958
00:53:25,620 --> 00:53:27,246
Hmm.

959
00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:15,461
We-We've seen a dramatic drop

960
00:54:15,544 --> 00:54:18,047
in having children
produced within wedlock.

961
00:54:18,130 --> 00:54:21,550
It's a huge problem
in our society.

962
00:54:21,634 --> 00:54:24,095
And I think part of that is
the decline of Christianity

963
00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:25,888
in-in the United States.

964
00:54:25,972 --> 00:54:27,431
- Can I say something?
- Uh...

965
00:54:27,515 --> 00:54:28,641
- Yes.
- I want... Yes.

966
00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:30,601
I want you to speak now.

967
00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:33,354
I'd love for you to speak now.

968
00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:35,439
- This important.
- Yes.

969
00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:37,650
- Yeah, great.
- Yes.

970
00:54:37,733 --> 00:54:39,986
Something really strange,
something wonderful

971
00:54:40,069 --> 00:54:41,737
just happened to me.

972
00:54:41,821 --> 00:54:44,281
And...

973
00:54:45,574 --> 00:54:50,746
I go to the toilet,
and I put my index finger...

974
00:54:52,123 --> 00:54:55,501
...and my-my middle finger
on my cunt.

975
00:54:55,584 --> 00:55:00,381
And I found out
that I wasn't sucked in

976
00:55:00,464 --> 00:55:03,259
and I wasn't eaten.

977
00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:06,053
Womans, this place is amazing.

978
00:55:06,137 --> 00:55:08,389
- No teeth at all.
- It has no what?

979
00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:09,473
No teeth.

980
00:55:09,557 --> 00:55:10,725
- Oh.
- No teeth.

981
00:55:10,808 --> 00:55:12,893
It's so nice, so warm.

982
00:55:12,977 --> 00:55:14,603
I will show you.

983
00:55:14,687 --> 00:55:17,481
You move this way,
circle four time.

984
00:55:17,565 --> 00:55:20,943
Then you move up and down,
and if it's not working,

985
00:55:21,027 --> 00:55:23,654
you can use
this part of your hand.

986
00:55:23,738 --> 00:55:28,242
And then you will feel
something like an explosion,

987
00:55:28,325 --> 00:55:29,577
and then you will finish.

988
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:31,370
Come on.

989
00:55:31,454 --> 00:55:33,748
Take your panties off,
everyone, please.

990
00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:35,916
Do you touch your vagine?

991
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:40,463
Uh, it's something
we don't talk about in p-public.

992
00:55:40,546 --> 00:55:42,214
Because of
the Nadia Akatov story?

993
00:55:42,298 --> 00:55:45,009
No, no, no, no.

994
00:55:45,092 --> 00:55:48,637
If that is a lie, what other
lies my daddy tell me?

995
00:55:48,721 --> 00:55:51,265
So come with me.

996
00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:54,185
Come with me.
Let's run away from our daddies.

997
00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:56,812
Let's go and put
our hands together

998
00:55:56,896 --> 00:55:58,814
and touch our vagines.

999
00:55:58,898 --> 00:56:02,443
And we're so glad you're here.
Thank you.

1000
00:56:06,030 --> 00:56:08,282
Someone call her an Uber.

1001
00:56:29,929 --> 00:56:31,430
Tutar!

1002
00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:36,143
Tutar. Tutar.

1003
00:56:37,436 --> 00:56:39,980
You went to the wrong address!

1004
00:56:40,064 --> 00:56:41,899
It's over there.

1005
00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:43,359
- I did not.
- Come on.

1006
00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:44,902
It's titty time.

1007
00:56:44,985 --> 00:56:47,029
- No, I'm not doing it.
- Why not?

1008
00:56:47,113 --> 00:56:49,657
Because I'm beautiful as I am,

1009
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:51,784
and I don't need to be given
as a gift to a man

1010
00:56:51,867 --> 00:56:52,952
to be worth something.

1011
00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:54,787
Yes, you do.
It says so in the book.

1012
00:56:54,870 --> 00:56:57,331
The Nadia Akatov story is a lie.

1013
00:56:57,414 --> 00:56:59,083
- Not a lie. It true.
- It is a lie.

1014
00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:01,585
- I did it.
- What?

1015
00:57:01,669 --> 00:57:04,296
How did you escape?
Out of your asshole?

1016
00:57:04,380 --> 00:57:07,675
No. And the rest of the book
is also a lie.

1017
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:10,886
Look there.
It's a woman driving a car.

1018
00:57:10,970 --> 00:57:13,722
That is not a woman.
That is Dog the Bounty Hunter.

1019
00:57:15,349 --> 00:57:18,310
This manual is full of lies.

1020
00:57:18,394 --> 00:57:21,480
I found a new book
which only tells the truth.

1021
00:57:21,564 --> 00:57:24,316
It's called Facebook.

1022
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:26,735
I learn so many facts there.

1023
00:57:26,819 --> 00:57:29,446
Like our nation's
proudest moment,

1024
00:57:29,530 --> 00:57:31,991
the Holocaust, never happened.

1025
00:57:32,074 --> 00:57:34,118
- How dare you say that?
- Look.

1026
00:57:37,288 --> 00:57:38,747
No.

1027
00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:41,167
See?

1028
00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,753
- I'm leaving.
- No, you don't.

1029
00:57:44,837 --> 00:57:46,839
Wh-Who will lock
your cage at night?

1030
00:57:46,922 --> 00:57:48,591
I can do anything a man can do.

1031
00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:50,968
- No, you cannot.
- I can even become a journalist,

1032
00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:52,928
and probably
a better one than you,

1033
00:57:53,012 --> 00:57:54,305
Borat Margaret Sagdiyev!

1034
00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:56,098
Who told you
my middle name was Margaret?!

1035
00:57:56,182 --> 00:57:57,474
Everyone you know!

1036
00:57:57,558 --> 00:57:59,685
You will never understand
anything!

1037
00:57:59,768 --> 00:58:01,061
I understand everything!

1038
00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:02,855
You want this book?

1039
00:58:02,938 --> 00:58:05,524
- Hey!
- Take it. I hate it.

1040
00:58:05,608 --> 00:58:06,609
And I hate you.

1041
00:58:06,692 --> 00:58:08,652
And I will never see you again.

1042
00:58:08,736 --> 00:58:11,447
Oh, and by the way,
I ate the monkey.

1043
00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:12,656
He didn't eat himself.

1044
00:58:12,740 --> 00:58:14,200
You murderer!

1045
00:58:14,283 --> 00:58:15,951
He was a genius!

1046
00:58:16,035 --> 00:58:17,203
Go.

1047
00:58:19,622 --> 00:58:21,707
Come out now.
One, two... No, you don't.

1048
00:58:21,790 --> 00:58:23,584
No!

1049
00:58:30,633 --> 00:58:32,343
Tutar!

1050
00:58:40,351 --> 00:58:43,729
My mission had fail, and I had
learned that the Holocaust

1051
00:58:43,812 --> 00:58:45,856
was nothing but a fairy tale.

1052
00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:49,777
Rather than return
to Kazakhstan to be execute,

1053
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,779
I decide to take my own life.

1054
00:58:51,862 --> 00:58:55,157
Since I did not have money
to buy a gun,

1055
00:58:55,241 --> 00:58:57,910
I went to the nearest synagogue

1056
00:58:57,993 --> 00:59:00,579
to wait for
the next mass shooting,

1057
00:59:00,663 --> 00:59:03,249
disguised as a typical Jew.

1058
00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,554
- Hello.
- Uh, Jang-shalom.

1059
00:59:17,638 --> 00:59:19,473
Are you Jew?

1060
00:59:19,556 --> 00:59:21,225
Yeah, I'm Jewish, yeah.

1061
00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:24,687
Very nice weather, uh,
we have been controlling.

1062
00:59:24,770 --> 00:59:26,105
You are Jewish?

1063
00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:29,233
Um... y-yes.

1064
00:59:29,316 --> 00:59:31,235
No, you are not Jewish.

1065
00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:35,322
Listen, don't-don't be
afraid of me.

1066
00:59:35,406 --> 00:59:37,574
But please don't eat me alive.

1067
00:59:37,658 --> 00:59:40,077
Uh, do I look like I eat people?

1068
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,830
- Uh...
- I'm a old, good woman.

1069
00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:44,206
Yes.
1070
00:59:44,290 --> 00:59:46,292
- Look at me. I'm Jewish.
- Yeah.

1071
00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:47,960
Do I have a long nose?

1072
00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:50,254
- Look at me.
- No.

1073
00:59:50,337 --> 00:59:51,964
You can touch my nose.

1074
00:59:52,047 --> 00:59:54,091
- What?
- Look at me.

1075
00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:56,677
You see? Is it long?

1076
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,721
- No, it's a small one.
- Exactly like yours.

1077
00:59:58,804 --> 00:59:59,888
Look at Doris.

1078
00:59:59,972 --> 01:00:01,807
Does she have a long nose?

1079
01:00:01,890 --> 01:00:05,185
A little bit bigger
than yours.

1080
01:00:05,269 --> 01:00:07,688
So we are normal,
exactly like you.

1081
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:10,691
Okay, then, use your venom
on me and finish me.

1082
01:00:10,774 --> 01:00:13,444
I have... I am very depress.
1083
01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:15,279
Can I give you a hug?

1084
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,073
- Don't-don't.
- Don't kill me.

1085
01:00:18,157 --> 01:00:19,867
I will not kill you.

1086
01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,869
Let me give you a kiss.

1087
01:00:23,829 --> 01:00:27,249
You see? I give you a kiss,
and you are still alive.

1088
01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:30,210
For now I am, but maybe
the venom take longer.

1089
01:00:30,294 --> 01:00:33,005
Oh, come on. You will be okay.

1090
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,007
I'm hungry.

1091
01:00:35,090 --> 01:00:36,842
- You are hungry?
- Yes.

1092
01:00:38,052 --> 01:00:39,845
- Good, huh?
- Very good.

1093
01:00:39,928 --> 01:00:42,431
- Very good, huh?
- Mmm.

1094
01:00:43,599 --> 01:00:45,851
I want to hear your story,
my dear.

1095
01:00:45,934 --> 01:00:47,895
This is the worst story
1096
01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:51,315
that ever happened
to any human being...

1097
01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:53,150
or Jew.

1098
01:00:53,233 --> 01:00:58,489
I came here on a simple mission
to save my country by delivering

1099
01:00:58,572 --> 01:01:01,450
our number one televiski star
Johnny the Monkey

1100
01:01:01,533 --> 01:01:04,161
as a gift to Michael Pence.

1101
01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:06,622
And I'm sure you've figured out
what happen next.

1102
01:01:06,705 --> 01:01:11,377
My daughter had smuggled herself
into the crate,

1103
01:01:11,460 --> 01:01:15,464
and yes, you got it,
she'd eaten the monkey.

1104
01:01:15,547 --> 01:01:18,384
Although I believe
he probably eat himself.

1105
01:01:18,467 --> 01:01:20,594
There are bad stories out there.

1106
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:22,763
Listen, you want
to hear my story,

1107
01:01:22,846 --> 01:01:24,681
- when I was a little child?
- Yes, what is your story?

1108
01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:27,184
I was in the Holocaust.
You see me?

1109
01:01:27,267 --> 01:01:28,936
I was in the Holocaust.

1110
01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:30,562
- The Holocaust? You were in the...
- Yeah.

1111
01:01:30,646 --> 01:01:33,524
- I was...
- But the Hol... The Holocaust never happen.

1112
01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:36,193
But I saw it with my own eyes.

1113
01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:39,071
So the Holocaust...

1114
01:01:39,154 --> 01:01:40,697
- Happened.
- ...happen?

1115
01:01:40,781 --> 01:01:42,699
- Yes.
- Really?

1116
01:01:42,783 --> 01:01:45,077
- Really.
- It was not a fake?

1117
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:46,578
No. No, my dear.

1118
01:01:46,662 --> 01:01:48,747
It wa... it really happened.

1119
01:01:48,831 --> 01:01:51,333
Thank you, Judith.
You made me so happy.

1120
01:01:51,417 --> 01:01:53,043
Thank you.

1121
01:01:53,127 --> 01:01:55,295
Thank you for giving me...

1122
01:01:55,379 --> 01:01:57,339
- Hope.
- ...faith and hope again.

1123
01:01:57,423 --> 01:02:00,467
Let's make I-love
instead of war.

1124
01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:03,387
Hold on.
One step at a time, Judith.

1125
01:02:03,470 --> 01:02:06,056
The Holocaust happen!

1126
01:02:06,140 --> 01:02:08,350
My culture was right!

1127
01:02:08,434 --> 01:02:10,894
I had to find
my daughter immediate

1128
01:02:10,978 --> 01:02:13,564
and deliver her to Giuliani.

1129
01:02:14,606 --> 01:02:16,233
I search in nearby village.

1130
01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:17,484
Tutar!

1131
01:02:17,568 --> 01:02:19,736
But for some reason,

1132
01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:23,031
- the streets were completely empty.
- Tutar!

1133
01:02:23,115 --> 01:02:24,575
Tutar!

1134
01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:27,077
Stop hiding!
1135
01:02:31,457 --> 01:02:33,876
Uh, hello. Jangshemash.

1136
01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:35,794
Where is everybody?

1137
01:02:35,878 --> 01:02:38,172
I do not see anybody
on the street.

1138
01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,923
That's... Everybody's at home.

1139
01:02:40,007 --> 01:02:41,383
They're telling them
to stay inside

1140
01:02:41,467 --> 01:02:43,177
so they don't spread this virus.

1141
01:02:43,260 --> 01:02:45,179
- Wh... There is a virus?
- Yes.

1142
01:02:45,262 --> 01:02:48,182
They're wanting everybody
to quarantine.

1143
01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,392
I do not have, uh,
nowhere else to go.

1144
01:02:50,476 --> 01:02:52,686
Could I stay your home?

1145
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,324
This is it.

1146
01:03:05,407 --> 01:03:07,534
Come on in.

1147
01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:12,456
- You go ahead and come on in.
- Oh. Oh.
1148
01:03:12,539 --> 01:03:15,375
- Very nice. Yes?
- Well, hello.

1149
01:03:15,459 --> 01:03:17,252
- Yes.
- Yes.

1150
01:03:17,336 --> 01:03:19,046
Nice to meet you.

1151
01:03:19,129 --> 01:03:21,798
- Okay.
- Yes.

1152
01:03:21,882 --> 01:03:24,301
How long must we be stuck
in here?

1153
01:03:24,384 --> 01:03:26,053
Well, don't know for sure.

1154
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:29,181
Till this COVID-19 thing passes.

1155
01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:34,228
What is more dangerous, this,
uh, virus or the Democrat?

1156
01:03:34,311 --> 01:03:37,064
- Democrats.
- Uh-huh.

1157
01:03:37,147 --> 01:03:38,774
I think, with the Democrats,

1158
01:03:38,857 --> 01:03:43,111
with Obama... and I think
it goes back to the Clintons...

1159
01:03:43,195 --> 01:03:45,364
When they were also in office.

1160
01:03:45,447 --> 01:03:48,283
This, uh, Clinton,
they make this plague?
1161
01:03:48,367 --> 01:03:50,911
- Yes. -JERRY: Yes.
- Mm. Not nice!

1162
01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:53,247
- Clintons are very evil.
- Extremely evil.

1163
01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:55,874
Supposedly,
they torture these kids.

1164
01:03:55,958 --> 01:03:59,044
- It gets their adrenaline flowing in their body.
- Mm-hmm.

1165
01:03:59,127 --> 01:04:01,171
Then they take that
out of their adren...

1166
01:04:01,255 --> 01:04:02,464
- Adrenal glands...
- Yeah.

1167
01:04:02,548 --> 01:04:03,799
...and then they drink
their blood

1168
01:04:03,882 --> 01:04:05,300
or that-that out of their...

1169
01:04:05,384 --> 01:04:07,344
- I've heard about things like that.
- Yeah.

1170
01:04:07,427 --> 01:04:09,846
Hillary Clinton drink
the, uh, blood of children?

1171
01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:11,515
- That's what we've heard.
- Yeah.

1172
01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:14,017
- I've heard.
- It's-it's been said.
1173
01:04:14,101 --> 01:04:16,144
- Yeah.
- Lucky for me,

1174
01:04:16,228 --> 01:04:20,983
I was taken in by two of
America's greatest scientists.

1175
01:04:21,066 --> 01:04:23,777
- What's up?
- I'm killing some of the viroos.

1176
01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:27,155
- No, you can't see the virus.
- No, it's still there.

1177
01:04:27,239 --> 01:04:28,365
This will kill the virus.

1178
01:04:45,299 --> 01:04:47,342
- That don't go in here.
- But this is for wash machine.

1179
01:04:47,426 --> 01:04:51,179
- What is that, the flashlight?
- I get you new flashlight.

1180
01:04:51,263 --> 01:04:53,599
Alexa, order three flashlights.

1181
01:04:53,682 --> 01:04:55,684
Ah.

1182
01:04:58,103 --> 01:05:00,480
- Oh...
- Oh, wait a minute.

1183
01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:02,107
- I don't think that's a flashlight.
- What is it?

1184
01:05:02,190 --> 01:05:03,734
- I didn't get the...
- I said "flashlight."

1185
01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:06,486
This is "Flesh."
It's called a Fleshlight.

1186
01:05:13,327 --> 01:05:14,536
You got it. We're done.

1187
01:05:14,620 --> 01:05:16,955
The Democrats,

1188
01:05:17,039 --> 01:05:19,666
they want to hurt
and destroy this country.

1189
01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:20,876
They are like demons.

1190
01:05:20,959 --> 01:05:22,127
- Yes.
- Yes.

1191
01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:25,088
We can't do to them
what we would like to do

1192
01:05:25,172 --> 01:05:28,508
because they-they unfortunately,
they have the same rights we do.

1193
01:05:28,592 --> 01:05:32,095
They should have
a bit less rights than you.

1194
01:05:32,179 --> 01:05:34,139
- Mm... -High five.
- They-they should.

1195
01:05:34,222 --> 01:05:36,808
Even though
the hoax virus lockdown

1196
01:05:36,892 --> 01:05:39,686
was stopping me
from finding Tutar,

1197
01:05:39,770 --> 01:05:43,273
Jim and Jerry found ways
to cheer me up.

1198
01:05:43,357 --> 01:05:44,441
I wrote a song
for you last night

1199
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,234
so you can play for us.

1200
01:05:46,318 --> 01:05:49,029
It's called
"The Chinese Virus Song."

1201
01:05:52,324 --> 01:05:54,493
- "America, he did hate her."
- Yeah.

1202
01:05:57,204 --> 01:05:58,413
- There you go.
- Yeah, that's good.

1203
01:05:58,497 --> 01:05:59,665
That's good. I like that.

1204
01:05:59,748 --> 01:06:01,875
- That's good.
- Say, "You can put him in jail."

1205
01:06:04,461 --> 01:06:06,672
- Yep.
- Is he in jail?

1206
01:06:06,755 --> 01:06:08,799
No, but I hope so soon.

1207
01:06:08,882 --> 01:06:11,760
But I still
had not found Tutar.

1208
01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:14,721
And although my buddies
were highly knowledgeables,

1209
01:06:14,805 --> 01:06:18,308
they didn't know anything
about womens.
1210
01:06:18,392 --> 01:06:19,643
The women here have rights.

1211
01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:21,269
They can do whatever they want.

1212
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:26,066
They have a brain
like we have a brain.

1213
01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:29,861
They can think and say the
same things we think and say.

1214
01:06:29,945 --> 01:06:31,780
When girl born, you are given

1215
01:06:31,863 --> 01:06:33,782
instruction booklet made by

1216
01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:36,785
- the Ministry of Agriculture and Wildlife.
- Um, yes, but...

1217
01:06:36,868 --> 01:06:39,663
The male baby come out walking.

1218
01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:42,791
Not the female.
The male baby come out...

1219
01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:44,918
- Look, you see.
- Uh, they don't.

1220
01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:46,712
This is supposed to be
the doctors,

1221
01:06:46,795 --> 01:06:48,338
with delivery of the baby?

1222
01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,715
Yes.

1223
01:06:49,798 --> 01:06:52,676
The doctor wait
for the baby to fall out,

1224
01:06:52,759 --> 01:06:55,220
and you have
two other doctor do this.

1225
01:06:55,303 --> 01:06:58,056
- Well, you don't need that. No.
- One in anoos, one in mouth.

1226
01:06:58,140 --> 01:07:01,435
What you have shown us
and explained to us,

1227
01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:04,646
- we're sitting here like, "What?"
- Yeah.

1228
01:07:04,730 --> 01:07:08,191
You were looking at this
and thinking, "What?"

1229
01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:10,110
- Yeah.
- It's a lie.

1230
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:13,071
That's...
It's a conspiracy theory.

1231
01:07:13,155 --> 01:07:16,867
I was scared
that I would never find Tutar.

1232
01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:19,536
But then something amazings
happened while I was looking

1233
01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:22,497
for QAnon stories
with my buddies.

1234
01:07:22,581 --> 01:07:25,167
- Does this...
- Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1235
01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:26,668
- Mm-hmm?
- Wait, wait, wait.

1236
01:07:26,752 --> 01:07:28,670
This look like Tutar.

1237
01:07:28,754 --> 01:07:32,215
Her hair different,
but this her, this Tutar.

1238
01:07:32,299 --> 01:07:34,301
Where are your pictures?

1239
01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:38,013
Can I see your pictures
of her, please?

1240
01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:40,807
Okay, just a minute.
You know what?

1241
01:07:40,891 --> 01:07:42,601
I'll be goddamned
if it isn't her.

1242
01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:43,852
It does look like it.

1243
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:46,813
Screw me in the anoos, this her.

1244
01:07:46,897 --> 01:07:48,440
Join me again on Saturday.

1245
01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:50,942
I will be reporting live
from the state's

1246
01:07:51,026 --> 01:07:53,069
biggest anti-lockdown protest.

1247
01:07:53,153 --> 01:07:55,113
I got to get a pen
that fucking works here.
1248
01:07:55,197 --> 01:07:58,241
- "March..."
- "For Our Rights."

1249
01:07:58,325 --> 01:08:00,577
"...For Our Rights Rally."

1250
01:08:00,660 --> 01:08:03,705
- Saturday, June 27.
- That's tomorrow.

1251
01:08:03,789 --> 01:08:04,998
- What? It's tomorrow?
- It's tomorrow.

1252
01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,374
Please, please, can we go?

1253
01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:07,417
- Buddy, buddy, can we go?
- Listen, listen, listen.

1254
01:08:07,501 --> 01:08:08,794
Buddy, buddy, buddy. Please.

1255
01:08:08,877 --> 01:08:11,546
Can we go out of lockdown
and find her?

1256
01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:12,881
I would think so.

1257
01:08:12,964 --> 01:08:14,925
- But if she see me...
- I know, that's what I just said.

1258
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:17,844
...then she will run
the moment she see my face.

1259
01:08:17,928 --> 01:08:20,055
Okay, you have to change
your appearance.

1260
01:08:20,138 --> 01:08:21,598
Do something different
with your hair...

1261
01:08:21,681 --> 01:08:23,433
- Yes.
- ...wear different clothes.

1262
01:08:23,517 --> 01:08:27,354
If I am disguise,
what is the one thing

1263
01:08:27,437 --> 01:08:31,399
that is irresistible
to all teenage girls?

1264
01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:33,276
Rock stars.

1265
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:35,237
- What is it?
- What?

1266
01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:36,988
Onions.

1267
01:08:37,072 --> 01:08:39,491
- Onions?
- Onions.

1268
01:08:39,574 --> 01:08:40,826
We have onions.

1269
01:08:40,909 --> 01:08:42,577
- We have onions?!
- Yes.

1270
01:08:42,661 --> 01:08:45,080
- You have onions in this house?!
- Yes.

1271
01:08:45,163 --> 01:08:46,748
- I believe we do.
- Yes!

1272
01:08:46,832 --> 01:08:50,085
Thank you, buddy! I love you!
You are my best friend!
1273
01:08:50,168 --> 01:08:52,128
- Okay.
- Fuck the social distance.

1274
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:56,216
We got to get up and fight
for this beautiful country,

1275
01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:58,468
the United States of America.

1276
01:08:58,552 --> 01:09:01,513
I don't see
very many masks out there.

1277
01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:03,765
That makes you, that makes you
instant criminals right now.

1278
01:09:03,849 --> 01:09:05,350
They want to throw you in jail

1279
01:09:05,433 --> 01:09:07,185
for what you're doing
right here, right now.

1280
01:09:07,269 --> 01:09:08,270
Do you understand that?

1281
01:09:10,230 --> 01:09:12,148
They're relying that you guys
continue to shut up

1282
01:09:12,232 --> 01:09:14,526
and sit in your house
like good little subjects.

1283
01:09:14,609 --> 01:09:17,737
We will not comply.

1284
01:09:17,821 --> 01:09:20,031
- Will not comply!
- Now you're talking!

1285
01:09:20,115 --> 01:09:24,536
I going to head up to the stage
to see where she is.

1286
01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:25,996
We got to get up
and fight, guys.

1287
01:09:26,079 --> 01:09:27,998
God bless each
and every single one of you.

1288
01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:34,546
All right, we got
some great music coming up.

1289
01:09:34,629 --> 01:09:37,465
Y'all ready?

1290
01:09:37,549 --> 01:09:40,302
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome your next act,

1291
01:09:40,385 --> 01:09:42,053
Country Steve.

1292
01:09:44,222 --> 01:09:45,724
Are you Country Steve?

1293
01:09:45,807 --> 01:09:47,893
Mm.

1294
01:09:47,976 --> 01:09:50,020
- You bet your asshole I am.
- Great.

1295
01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:56,484
- There he is.
- Oh, my gosh. Look at him.

1296
01:09:58,570 --> 01:10:00,655
He's doing it.

1297
01:10:00,739 --> 01:10:02,324
I can't believe he's doing it.

1298
01:10:14,628 --> 01:10:16,421
Do you know, um...
1299
01:10:16,504 --> 01:10:18,757
- B-A-A...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1300
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:19,883
Right.

1301
01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:23,011
Okay? B-A-A-D-E.

1302
01:10:23,094 --> 01:10:25,347
Uh...

1303
01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:29,517
I wrote this song
with my two best buddies.

1304
01:10:31,770 --> 01:10:32,896
Yeah, very nice.

1305
01:10:56,586 --> 01:10:59,172
Yes.

1306
01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:09,683
Let hear it.

1307
01:11:22,737 --> 01:11:24,239
Over there. She's over there.

1308
01:11:28,034 --> 01:11:30,453
Yes.

1309
01:11:30,537 --> 01:11:33,206
Okay, journalists.

1310
01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:35,250
Are we gonna inject them
with the Wuhan flu

1311
01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:37,335
or chop 'em up
like the Saudis do?

1312
01:11:37,419 --> 01:11:38,670
Okay, let's hear it.

1313
01:11:38,753 --> 01:11:40,338
Who wants to inject them
with the Wuhan flu?

1314
01:11:42,465 --> 01:11:44,467
Who wants to chop 'em up
like the Saudis do?

1315
01:11:52,225 --> 01:11:54,728
Um, he's been
doing a really good job.

1316
01:11:54,811 --> 01:11:56,730
And the-the coronavirus just
happened to come along and...

1317
01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:59,482
Excuse me. Can I talk to you?

1318
01:12:05,405 --> 01:12:08,450
He needs you to go back
to be with

1319
01:12:08,533 --> 01:12:10,535
a man from Washington, D.C.,

1320
01:12:10,618 --> 01:12:13,455
and if you do not do that,
they will kill him.

1321
01:12:14,581 --> 01:12:15,874
They're gonna take two cows,

1322
01:12:15,957 --> 01:12:17,125
and they're gonna
tie them to his...

1323
01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:18,668
Tie ropes to his legs.

1324
01:12:18,752 --> 01:12:20,837
And they're gonna
give them turnips,

1325
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:24,549
and they're gonna pull him apart
by his legs.

1326
01:12:24,632 --> 01:12:26,384
That's how they're gonna
kill him.

1327
01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:31,347
What should we do
with scientists?

1328
01:12:31,431 --> 01:12:33,183
Let's hear it for
"feed them to the bears."

1329
01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:35,143
Yeah!

1330
01:12:35,226 --> 01:12:37,604
Let's hear it for
"gas them up like the Germans."

1331
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:41,524
Okay, let's do "gas them up."

1332
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:45,070
I will not talk with him.

1333
01:12:45,153 --> 01:12:47,530
But tell him that I will do it.

1334
01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:52,285
Your father wanted you to have
the book back.

1335
01:12:56,956 --> 01:12:59,542
Thank you very much.
My name Country Steve.

1336
01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:06,132
Tutar was going to give herself
to Rudolph Giuliani.

1337
01:13:06,216 --> 01:13:09,803
I had restored greatness
to Kazakhstan.
1338
01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:13,932
Hello. My name is Grace
Sagdiyev from Patriot's Report.

1339
01:13:14,015 --> 01:13:17,018
I would love to interview
your boss Rudy Giuliani.

1340
01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:25,193
It was time to return
to Kazakhstan as a hero.

1341
01:13:25,276 --> 01:13:28,029
Finally, I would get
my life back.

1342
01:13:33,368 --> 01:13:35,578
Yet something was missings.

1343
01:13:35,662 --> 01:13:39,332
Something precious
that I could never replace.

1344
01:13:45,672 --> 01:13:46,923
Hello.

1345
01:13:47,006 --> 01:13:50,385
I, uh, want my daughter
ball and chain, please.

1346
01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,387
Okay, well, can you step back?

1347
01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:54,472
'Cause you're too close to me.

1348
01:13:54,556 --> 01:13:55,765
Did you take the test?

1349
01:13:55,849 --> 01:13:58,810
To see if I, uh,
had the syphilis?

1350
01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:01,271
- Not syphilis.
- Ah, yes.

1351
01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:03,481
I had it 15 times.

1352
01:14:03,565 --> 01:14:05,191
Not... That's not good.

1353
01:14:05,275 --> 01:14:07,235
Okay, just stop right there.

1354
01:14:07,318 --> 01:14:09,237
- What?
- You have to stop right there.

1355
01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:12,740
- Stop here? Why?
- 'Cause we can talk better that way.

1356
01:14:12,824 --> 01:14:14,993
Can I have
my ball and chain, please?

1357
01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:18,329
- Are you finna put it back on her?
- No, of course not.

1358
01:14:18,413 --> 01:14:20,957
She, uh, luckily came
to her senses,

1359
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:26,504
and she is, uh, about
to gift herself to a new owner.

1360
01:14:26,588 --> 01:14:29,090
She will be the happiest woman
in the world, uh,

1361
01:14:29,174 --> 01:14:31,426
just like, uh, Melania.

1362
01:14:31,509 --> 01:14:32,886
Can I have my...

1363
01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,054
Yes, I'm finna get
your ball and chain

1364
01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:36,973
- for you.
- Thank you.

1365
01:14:37,056 --> 01:14:38,349
You're welcome.

1366
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:44,981
Yes, that's my girl's.

1367
01:14:45,064 --> 01:14:46,232
Here you go.

1368
01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:49,652
- What is it?
- That's hers.

1369
01:14:49,736 --> 01:14:52,447
One more thing that she left.

1370
01:14:58,244 --> 01:15:01,039
I have a pain
in my, uh, titties.

1371
01:15:01,122 --> 01:15:05,251
Maybe because you're giving away
your baby.

1372
01:15:05,335 --> 01:15:06,961
Why would that make
my chest hurt?

1373
01:15:07,045 --> 01:15:08,963
- It should.
- Why?

1374
01:15:09,047 --> 01:15:14,302
You're giving a little girl
to a old man.

1375
01:15:17,222 --> 01:15:19,891
That should make
your chest hurt.
1376
01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:22,101
It should make your heart hurt.

1377
01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:40,245
Don't you love her?

1378
01:15:40,328 --> 01:15:42,580
You care for her?

1379
01:15:44,374 --> 01:15:46,626
- You care?
- Yes.

1380
01:15:46,709 --> 01:15:48,419
Okay.

1381
01:15:48,503 --> 01:15:51,214
So, shouldn't she make
the decision

1382
01:15:51,297 --> 01:15:54,175
on who she marries?

1383
01:15:54,259 --> 01:15:56,052
But there is only, uh,
two hours left

1384
01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:58,221
before she will meet
with this man.

1385
01:15:58,304 --> 01:15:59,681
That's two hours.

1386
01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:02,642
- You got two hours to stop it.
- Yes.

1387
01:16:02,725 --> 01:16:07,438
Find your baby and tell her
she don't have to do that.

1388
01:16:07,522 --> 01:16:09,983
Thank you so much.

1389
01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:11,442
- Okay, I will go.
- Okay.

1390
01:16:11,526 --> 01:16:12,652
Oh, one last thing.

1391
01:16:13,736 --> 01:16:15,697
Will you be my new Black wife?

1392
01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:18,199
No, sir, I cannot be
your new Black wife.

1393
01:16:18,283 --> 01:16:19,826
Okay.

1394
01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:52,400
As a woman, you have to be

1395
01:16:52,483 --> 01:16:54,235
kind of weak.

1396
01:16:56,321 --> 01:17:00,116
No more strong.
We can't be strong anymore.

1397
01:17:21,846 --> 01:17:24,098
- Nice to meet you, my dear.
- Nice to meet you.

1398
01:17:24,182 --> 01:17:27,101
- You're one of my greatest heroes.
- Oh, that's so nice.

1399
01:17:27,185 --> 01:17:29,020
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yes.

1400
01:17:29,103 --> 01:17:30,563
I will try my best,

1401
01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:32,565
but because I am
super excited and nervous...

1402
01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:34,108
Well, you relax. I'll relax.

1403
01:17:34,192 --> 01:17:35,860
You want me
to ask you questions?

1404
01:17:36,903 --> 01:17:39,322
- I'll relax you, okay?
- Yes.

1405
01:17:39,405 --> 01:17:42,784
Thank you. I feel like
I'm living in a fairy tale.

1406
01:17:42,867 --> 01:17:44,494
Come here.

1407
01:17:44,577 --> 01:17:46,204
You're gonna do great, okay?

1408
01:18:05,139 --> 01:18:06,849
- Where are you going?
- Upstairs.

1409
01:18:06,933 --> 01:18:08,476
No, you are not going up there.

1410
01:18:08,559 --> 01:18:10,603
But I must defend my daughter's
vagine from America's mayor.

1411
01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:12,063
Let me see your I.D.!!

1412
01:18:12,146 --> 01:18:14,649
So, please take this.

1413
01:18:14,732 --> 01:18:18,569
It used to belong to my father,
but I think you should keep it.

1414
01:18:18,653 --> 01:18:19,946
It... Whoa. My God.

1415
01:18:20,029 --> 01:18:21,823
That's wonderful
that you gave this to me.

1416
01:18:21,906 --> 01:18:23,991
So, uh...

1417
01:18:26,494 --> 01:18:27,703
Well, thank you, my dear.

1418
01:18:27,787 --> 01:18:30,373
Get out or I'm calling
the police!

1419
01:18:30,456 --> 01:18:31,833
Time running out.

1420
01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:34,836
Please. His old chram
will soon be turgid.

1421
01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,257
A little bit about China.

1422
01:18:39,340 --> 01:18:41,217
As an expert
of national security,

1423
01:18:41,300 --> 01:18:43,553
what do you think
we can do going forward

1424
01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:45,304
to prevent this
for happening again?

1425
01:18:45,388 --> 01:18:51,102
W-Well, China manufactured
the virus and let it out.

1426
01:18:51,185 --> 01:18:54,355
And they deliberately spread it
all around the world.

1427
01:18:54,439 --> 01:18:56,941
- I don't think anybody was eating bats.
- Yeah.
1428
01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:59,193
- Did you ever have a bat?
- Oh, no.

1429
01:18:59,277 --> 01:19:01,446
I don't think
I will ever...

1430
01:19:01,529 --> 01:19:02,780
Eat a bat.

1431
01:19:02,864 --> 01:19:04,198
If you eat a bat with me.

1432
01:19:04,282 --> 01:19:06,033
- Okay, I will. I'll eat a bat with you.
- Can we try?

1433
01:19:07,452 --> 01:19:10,037
You're so funny.

1434
01:19:23,676 --> 01:19:26,262
Uh, in the panty-house.
Uh, ooh.

1435
01:19:26,345 --> 01:19:28,222
So, probably
in a rough estimate,

1436
01:19:28,306 --> 01:19:30,683
how many lives
President Trump saved?

1437
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,602
I'd say he's saved
a million lives.

1438
01:19:32,685 --> 01:19:34,479
There would've been a million
more had he, had he waited

1439
01:19:34,562 --> 01:19:37,648
- that month, the way the Democrats would've done.
- Yeah.

1440
01:19:37,732 --> 01:19:39,859
Uh, but he acted swiftly,

1441
01:19:39,942 --> 01:19:41,944
he acted before anybod...
In fact,

1442
01:19:42,028 --> 01:19:45,740
even his own,
even his own advisors...

1443
01:19:45,823 --> 01:19:48,284
- some of them advised him not to do it.
- Really?

1444
01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:50,995
Yeah.

1445
01:19:51,078 --> 01:19:53,372
I'm good. Oh, here,
a little bit does some good?

1446
01:19:53,456 --> 01:19:55,625
- Here you go.
- Yeah. It's always good.

1447
01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:57,043
Never been in front
of the camera.

1448
01:19:57,126 --> 01:19:58,503
I've always been
behind of the camera,

1449
01:19:58,586 --> 01:19:59,921
but today,
something with this...

1450
01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:01,422
Uh, I think you're gonna
look pretty good.

1451
01:20:01,506 --> 01:20:03,090
We will see.

1452
01:20:03,174 --> 01:20:04,717
Yeah, you're gonna look
pretty good.
1453
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:06,636
- But it's because of you.
- Well, thank you.

1454
01:20:06,719 --> 01:20:09,680
I really feel like Melania
right now.

1455
01:20:09,764 --> 01:20:11,599
Well, you're doing very well.

1456
01:20:11,682 --> 01:20:13,100
So I think you're gonna
look pretty...

1457
01:20:13,184 --> 01:20:14,227
Sorry to interrupt, Mayor.

1458
01:20:14,310 --> 01:20:17,230
Um, sound problem.

1459
01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:18,773
I think we cancel interview.

1460
01:20:18,856 --> 01:20:20,399
Mm-hmm?

1461
01:20:20,483 --> 01:20:22,568
- Uh, I don't think we need, uh... because...
- Yeah.

1462
01:20:22,652 --> 01:20:24,403
- I-I already checked...
- I'll just check your mic.

1463
01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:26,155
Okay.

1464
01:20:26,239 --> 01:20:27,823
- Is that better?
- Yeah, that's b-better.

1465
01:20:27,907 --> 01:20:30,618
Let me just listen in
for a minute.
1466
01:20:30,701 --> 01:20:32,036
Yeah.

1467
01:20:32,119 --> 01:20:34,121
Is she asking
too many questions?

1468
01:20:34,205 --> 01:20:36,499
No, she's doing great.

1469
01:20:36,582 --> 01:20:38,793
She'd make a very nagging wife.

1470
01:20:39,835 --> 01:20:41,170
No!

1471
01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:43,839
If I were you, I would stick
to marrying your cousins.

1472
01:20:43,923 --> 01:20:45,716
Let me check the sound.

1473
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:46,801
Can I check the sound?

1474
01:20:47,969 --> 01:20:49,637
Sure.

1475
01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:52,306
Mr. Mayor,
c-can you say something?

1476
01:20:52,390 --> 01:20:53,724
Can you say something?

1477
01:20:53,808 --> 01:20:56,102
- Yes, I'm fine.
- Yeah, the sound is perfect.

1478
01:20:56,185 --> 01:20:58,271
- It's probably better if I stay and...
- Please, please I-leave.

1479
01:20:58,354 --> 01:21:00,189
No, no, please.
If I need you, I will call you.

1480
01:21:00,273 --> 01:21:02,900
- You sure?
- You will be in the lobby, right?

1481
01:21:02,984 --> 01:21:04,735
Don't do it.

1482
01:21:04,819 --> 01:21:06,696
What? That's what you want.

1483
01:21:06,779 --> 01:21:08,364
But it's not what you want.

1484
01:21:08,447 --> 01:21:11,242
But I also don't want you
to die.

1485
01:21:11,325 --> 01:21:12,910
Now go! Go.

1486
01:21:12,994 --> 01:21:15,913
- What if I take your place and he makes sexy time with me?
- No.

1487
01:21:15,997 --> 01:21:17,248
Leave.

1488
01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:23,629
- I'm so sorry. That's horrible.
- Just relax. Sit down.

1489
01:21:23,713 --> 01:21:25,756
Sit, sit, sit, sit. Okay.

1490
01:21:25,840 --> 01:21:27,216
I'm so sorry for that.

1491
01:21:27,300 --> 01:21:28,634
Really, I apologize.

1492
01:21:28,718 --> 01:21:30,845
Apology accepted. No problem.
1493
01:21:30,928 --> 01:21:32,221
- Okay.
- Okay?

1494
01:21:32,305 --> 01:21:35,891
Yeah. Uh, thank you again
for giving me this time.

1495
01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:37,810
Shall we have a drink
in the bedroom?

1496
01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,897
- Come here. Come here.
- What?

1497
01:21:41,981 --> 01:21:43,441
Hold up.

1498
01:21:43,524 --> 01:21:46,152
- There you go, my dear.
- Okay.

1499
01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:48,446
Yeah, you're-you're good.

1500
01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:51,657
You can give me your
phone number and your address.

1501
01:21:55,536 --> 01:21:58,372
- Should we slip your jacket?
- Okay.

1502
01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:06,547
Put down your chram!

1503
01:22:06,631 --> 01:22:07,590
Oh!

1504
01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:10,259
She 15. She too old for you.

1505
01:22:10,343 --> 01:22:11,302
Why are you dressed like this?
1506
01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:13,137
She my daughter.
Please, take me instead.

1507
01:22:13,220 --> 01:22:15,097
- Take my anoos. -Don't take him.
- I don't want you.

1508
01:22:15,181 --> 01:22:16,682
No, no, take my anoos.
Do not have her.

1509
01:22:16,766 --> 01:22:18,059
I'm better than him.

1510
01:22:18,142 --> 01:22:19,602
No, I better.
My back pussy very tight.

1511
01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:21,479
No, please, my front anoos.

1512
01:22:21,562 --> 01:22:23,105
Please, I will let you
enjoy my chram in your mouth.

1513
01:22:23,189 --> 01:22:24,815
No, I better!

1514
01:22:24,899 --> 01:22:26,317
I can...
I would love to marry you.

1515
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:27,735
I was in prison many years,

1516
01:22:27,818 --> 01:22:29,362
so I have techniques
with my mouth.

1517
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:31,280
Hello? What's going on here?
Look at this guy.

1518
01:22:31,364 --> 01:22:32,657
I forbid this union.

1519
01:22:32,740 --> 01:22:34,909
Rudy, Trump will be disappoint.

1520
01:22:34,992 --> 01:22:37,870
You are leaving hotel
without golden shower.

1521
01:23:00,309 --> 01:23:02,395
That one was close.

1522
01:23:03,604 --> 01:23:04,980
You know what I think?

1523
01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:09,485
I think you did this because

1524
01:23:09,568 --> 01:23:12,363
you love me
as much as your sons.

1525
01:23:14,031 --> 01:23:15,491
No.

1526
01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:19,078
More.

1527
01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:25,126
So much more.

1528
01:23:30,214 --> 01:23:31,716
What shall we do?

1529
01:23:32,550 --> 01:23:34,176
You stay here.

1530
01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:38,889
I will go home.

1531
01:23:39,557 --> 01:23:40,808
To be executed.

1532
01:23:43,185 --> 01:23:45,312
- I'm coming with you.
- No, no.

1533
01:23:45,396 --> 01:23:47,565
You want to live in a cage?

1534
01:23:47,648 --> 01:23:49,650
I forbid it.

1535
01:23:50,943 --> 01:23:53,320
I get to choose.

1536
01:23:55,156 --> 01:23:57,074
Okay.

1537
01:24:06,667 --> 01:24:10,337
This is my final
Will and Testament.

1538
01:24:10,421 --> 01:24:14,717
To my daughter,
I leave everything...

1539
01:24:15,593 --> 01:24:17,595
One anti-semitic chocolate cake,

1540
01:24:18,345 --> 01:24:20,347
also three...

1541
01:24:20,431 --> 01:24:21,849
...Fleshlights.

1542
01:24:21,932 --> 01:24:23,017
Stop.

1543
01:24:27,855 --> 01:24:30,399
We're not going to kill you.

1544
01:24:31,150 --> 01:24:34,153
But I failed my mission.

1545
01:24:34,236 --> 01:24:36,739
It's okay. People make mistakes.

1546
01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:52,087
Tatti?
1547
01:24:59,970 --> 01:25:02,181
I a total failures.

1548
01:25:02,264 --> 01:25:05,184
My whole world fall to pieces.

1549
01:25:07,436 --> 01:25:09,688
- They make this plague?
- Yes.

1550
01:25:09,772 --> 01:25:11,649
And they deliberately spread it

1551
01:25:11,732 --> 01:25:13,108
all around the world.

1552
01:25:14,735 --> 01:25:16,779
Two Sagdiyev.

1553
01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:19,323
I believe it comes
out of that laboratory.

1554
01:25:19,406 --> 01:25:21,367
I don't think anybody
was eating bats.

1555
01:25:21,450 --> 01:25:23,494
- Did you ever eat a bat?
- Oh, no. -

1556
01:25:23,577 --> 01:25:25,996
Our Premier Nazarbayev,
he grab a lot.

1557
01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:28,123
He can do whatever
he wants, right?

1558
01:25:28,207 --> 01:25:30,459
He sent you
a bunch of angry faces.

1559
01:25:33,087 --> 01:25:36,215
I go to America!
1560
01:25:36,298 --> 01:25:38,467
So, what if they
spread it all around the world?

1561
01:25:38,551 --> 01:25:41,470
The Wuhan flu.

1562
01:25:44,640 --> 01:25:46,267
Wawaweewa!

1563
01:25:46,350 --> 01:25:48,185
You the Forrest the Gumps!

1564
01:25:48,269 --> 01:25:50,145
- Hi.
- Please, uh, make autograph?

1565
01:25:50,229 --> 01:25:51,230
Sure.

1566
01:25:52,815 --> 01:25:54,859
- How do you spell your name?
- Uh, B...

1567
01:25:54,942 --> 01:25:57,444
We have 15 cases of coronavirus.

1568
01:25:57,528 --> 01:25:59,446
We're ready.
We're ready for anything.

1569
01:25:59,530 --> 01:26:00,781
Why, uh, you wear mask?

1570
01:26:00,865 --> 01:26:01,824
'Cause of

1571
01:26:01,907 --> 01:26:04,201
the virus that's going around.

1572
01:26:04,285 --> 01:26:06,161
It's gone worldwide.
It's all around the world.

1573
01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,998
It's in the air.
It's everywhere.

1574
01:26:09,081 --> 01:26:10,499
And then you get sick.

1575
01:26:10,583 --> 01:26:13,168
I'm good.

1576
01:26:13,252 --> 01:26:15,296
"Stupid foreign reporter."

1577
01:26:15,379 --> 01:26:17,172
You will die.

1578
01:26:18,132 --> 01:26:19,633
Wawaweewa.

1579
01:26:28,642 --> 01:26:30,853
STOP!

1580
01:26:32,897 --> 01:26:37,526
You used me to spread the virus
around the world.

1581
01:26:37,610 --> 01:26:39,445
Yes I did.

1582
01:26:39,528 --> 01:26:41,155
And our plan worked brilliantly.

1583
01:26:41,238 --> 01:26:44,158
We got our revenge on the world
for them laughing on us.

1584
01:26:44,241 --> 01:26:45,659
Did you hear that, Brian?

1585
01:26:45,743 --> 01:26:48,746
- Yes, sir.
- If anything happens to me,

1586
01:26:48,829 --> 01:26:51,957
forward this to my best
boyfriends, Jim and Jerry.
1587
01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:54,668
What is that magical calculator?

1588
01:26:54,752 --> 01:26:56,921
It's called a phone.

1589
01:26:57,504 --> 01:26:58,756
Who is that?

1590
01:26:58,839 --> 01:27:01,300
America's Minister
of Technology.

1591
01:27:01,383 --> 01:27:02,676
His name, Brian.

1592
01:27:02,760 --> 01:27:06,597
His twin brother live
inside my phone.

1593
01:27:06,680 --> 01:27:09,016
Say jangshemash, Brian.

1594
01:27:09,099 --> 01:27:10,809
Hello. This is Brian.

1595
01:27:10,893 --> 01:27:13,729
I just recorded you talking.

1596
01:27:14,855 --> 01:27:16,023
Ok...

1597
01:27:16,982 --> 01:27:19,610
What do you two want...

1598
01:27:19,693 --> 01:27:21,737
to keep your mouths shut?

1599
01:27:22,738 --> 01:27:25,324
I have some ideas.

1600
01:27:30,329 --> 01:27:34,166
Jangshemash!
Kazakhstan now feminist nation.
1601
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:37,294
Like US&A and Saudi Arabia.

1602
01:27:37,378 --> 01:27:40,422
Bride exports
declared misogynist,

1603
01:27:40,506 --> 01:27:42,633
so we now traffic grooms.

1604
01:27:47,680 --> 01:27:50,891
We use my iPhone 4's hot spot

1605
01:27:50,975 --> 01:27:55,312
and steal password
from assholes Uzbekistan.

1606
01:27:55,396 --> 01:27:58,983
Now we are part
of the global community,

1607
01:27:59,066 --> 01:28:03,195
influencing elections
around the world.

1608
01:28:05,781 --> 01:28:09,535
Kazakhstan now center
of COVID-safe fashion.

1609
01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:11,954
We invent the maskini!

1610
01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,835
Our people are kept healthy

1611
01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:20,587
with daily hygienic
temperature checks.

1612
01:28:22,756 --> 01:28:26,719
Our fatality rate plummet
to 92%.

1613
01:28:27,928 --> 01:28:30,014
Best of all, I am reinstate
1614
01:28:30,097 --> 01:28:33,517
as number-four journalist
in all of Kazakhstan.

1615
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:35,310
Who number three?

1616
01:28:35,394 --> 01:28:36,979
Tutar Sagdiyev.

1617
01:28:37,062 --> 01:28:38,230
Why not?

1618
01:28:38,313 --> 01:28:40,691
May the patriarchy go to hells.

1619
01:28:40,774 --> 01:28:43,318
- Nice.
- No, "ni-i-ice."

1620
01:28:43,402 --> 01:28:45,112
Don't mansplain to me.

1621
01:28:45,195 --> 01:28:47,281
Feminists.

1622
01:28:47,364 --> 01:28:50,034
My visit to US&A make me realize

1623
01:28:50,117 --> 01:28:52,327
that greatest threat
to Kazakhstan

1624
01:28:52,411 --> 01:28:54,455
is no longer the Jew.

1625
01:28:54,538 --> 01:28:57,124
It is, in fact, the Yankee.

1626
01:28:57,207 --> 01:28:59,543
Jangshemash.

1627
01:28:59,626 --> 01:29:03,422
Welcome to the first ever
1628
01:29:03,505 --> 01:29:05,841
Running of the American.

1629
01:29:08,552 --> 01:29:10,095
They're starting to run!

1630
01:29:10,179 --> 01:29:13,265
Here comes the American!

1631
01:29:13,348 --> 01:29:15,601
Oh no! He's got the fever!

1632
01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:17,686
He's not wearing a mask.

1633
01:29:17,770 --> 01:29:18,979
BORAT and TUTAR:
Oh!

1634
01:29:21,565 --> 01:29:23,484
Here comes Karen!

1635
01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:25,944
She's being a little bit racist!

1636
01:29:26,028 --> 01:29:27,446
She's going to cough.

1637
01:29:29,573 --> 01:29:31,533
Here comes
the chief medical expert!

1638
01:29:31,617 --> 01:29:34,495
And he's got a vaccine!

1639
01:29:34,578 --> 01:29:37,164
Everybody's going to be saved!

1640
01:29:37,247 --> 01:29:39,166
Uh oh

1641
01:29:39,249 --> 01:29:42,044
She's been to Walmart,
she's got her AR-15.
1642
01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:45,255
Karen is not happy.

1643
01:29:45,339 --> 01:29:49,134
Oh no, she's killed Fauci!

1644
01:29:49,218 --> 01:29:52,012
The Americans are victorious

1645
01:29:52,096 --> 01:29:54,890
in their battle against science.

1646
01:29:54,973 --> 01:29:56,850
For Kazakhstan TV,

1647
01:29:56,934 --> 01:29:58,811
this is Tutar Sagdiyev...

1648
01:29:58,894 --> 01:30:01,605
and Borat Margaret Sagdiyev.

1649
01:30:02,439 --> 01:30:04,233
Chenquieh.

1650
01:30:07,444 --> 01:30:09,571
You were amazing!

1650
01:30:10,305 --> 01:31:10,470
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