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Chase Bush

Professor Rebecca Morean

English 1201

18 November 2021

My Own Experience with ADHD

As a child I never thought of myself as normal. Although I had quite a few friends in my

childhood, I would still stand out from others. I did not notice my exact behavior in my earlier

years since I was merely a little kid, but others would think there was something different about

me. As I started growing up, questioning my character and intellect. In school I often found myself

daydreaming and having trouble paying attention in class. My grades throughout middle school

were mediocre to say the least, and were not improving. I would usually get in trouble with my

teachers because I would get caught talking while they were talking. While this was a lot for me to

cope with, this was just the start of my nightmare.

There were many days that I would contemplate whether I was good enough. In school I

did not retain the information that was taught and I became frustrated. I fell into learned

helplessness, a psychological term that describes how a person who has failed many times at

controlling a situation tends to lose hope on achieving their goal. I would try to pay attention to the

information to get a better understanding, but I would get poor grades on tests. I felt hopeless and I

thought that I would never amount to anything in life. I thought my grades defined me as a person

and I started pondering my intelligence. My inability to pay attention, constant fatigue, and poor

test results led me to believe that I was not a smart person, and that made an impact on my mental
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health. I started to lose faith and I eventually stopped trying in school. My mental health was

deteriorating, leaving me questioning who I was and what my purpose was in life.

I never really talked to my parents about myself until I was pushed to my limit. I would

constantly ask my mom if I was stupid and if I was good enough. I started exhibiting bad behavior

and unhealthy habits. I did not have many friends in school, but the friends I would spend time

with were bad influences. I started displaying bad behavior in school and I would usually get in

trouble for my actions. I was angry and scared at the same time because I did not know where my

life was going or if I would turn out to be successful. Eventually my mom took me to the doctors to

evaluate my situation. After observing my behavior for a couple of months, I was diagnosed with

ADHD. Although I knew that something was wrong with me, I did not expect to be diagnosed

with this neurological disorder. The symptoms of ADHD and my behavior corresponded with each

other so it made perfect sense to me. The next step for me was to decide how I could find success

through this hardship.

There are a variety of medications that combat the symptoms of ADHD. I went through a

couple of medicines before I found the right one. Although my problem was diagnosed and I was

attempting to treat it, I thought it could not be treated since even the medicine was not reducing my

symptoms. I was still having trouble paying attention in school and a month later I went back to the

doctors. The medication was not working and I was becoming even more frustrated with my

situation. My doctor then prescribed me adderall, an amphetamine that enhances a person’s focus

and cognitive abilities. A couple months after taking this medication I started noticing a change in

my behavior and grades in school. The changes I noticed were positive instead of negative. I was

finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and my depression started fading away.
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After all of the hardships and obstacles I had to face were worth it in the end. My ADHD

was finally controllable and I was starting to show who I really was. I started getting all A’s in high

school and a 3.9 GPA or higher. I proved to myself that I was a very intelligent person, I just could

not see that at first because my ADHD was in the way. I was finally happy for the first time in a

while and I started making new friends. Although I still have some symptoms of ADHD while on

this medication, Adderall still helps me achieve my goals. I still have trouble understanding

information, but I study and work hard to be the best I can be. Personally I do not accept

mediocrity, and I never will. This neurological disorder has taken a toll on me, but I will never let it

define who I am.