Into the wilderness

The nazi were chasing us, I left my mother in the apartment as she refused to leave everything
she knew behind, meaning her whole life, she was waiting for pa, I kissed her forehead and
promised her to come back and rescue her. I started walking, wearing a janitor uniform I found
in the old building next door. It is not theft, I told myself, it is just borrowing for a good cause. I
took their cleaning tools in order to avoid doubt and not cause any doubt and walked fast and
faster- “ if I am a janitor, I am not a jew, I have a job, they will not consider me a suspect if I meet
a nazi in my way to the woods”, my thoughts had to adapt too, fast to execute each thought that
would not allow me a survival plan, my heart was beating up so fast in the rhythm of my walk,
running was not an option, I could hear my breath in my ears, my thoughts were too violently
loud and chaotic from sudden shock, I had so many thoughts towards my mother’s safety and
how I had left behind, truly my heart was broken in pieces. I should go back and try to convince
her, I stopped for a moment. Cold tears started running down my face and created a string
around my shirt collar, “man up”, I wanted to kneel and scream- “I never abandoned anyone, I
am not a coward or a fugitive, everything was so brutally rapidly executed,I am an artist, a
creative force, a pianist, why would they look for me?” I often had trouble understanding the
force of darkness. I took with me a swiss knife my father gifted me years ago, I found it quite
useful on my prior camping trips in nature. I loved nature. It was surreal, I just wanted to wake
up from his horrible nightmare. I carried the janitor bucket to the entrance of the woods and left
it somewhere in the woods buried under a pile of leaves and mud, darkness was creeping in
and I was tired and hungry. “Stay focusedKeep Going!” I was telling myself, I could hear the
sound of my stomach yelling into my ears like some hungry beast, my legs were tired and the
lack of energy interfered with my capacity to walk faster. “My mother...she will be alright”, I
comforted myself. I took my swiss knife out and started cutting through the branches. I collected
any wild fruit I found in my way, I stuck them deeply in my pockets, found some mushrooms and
some wild apples as well, I continued walking, there was no path to follow, no musical
instruction, no notes or melody, just cold wind cutting through my clothes, feeling like razors on
my face, hunger and desperation, I had to cut through the branches, manically cutting through
the branches, like a labyrinth with no destination to reach, yett holding only into a hope to find
a way to survive. I do not panic, my hands showed me my untrained fragility, I got angry with
myself for not being prepared for this, untrained for crisis, I am pianist, I could not feel any pain
in my bleeding hands anyways, the pain in my soul, the hunger and exhaustion were stronger, I
just looked at the blood on my frozen hands and wondered if I could just find some water, if I
can find a stream of water, I can settle and get some rest and eat some berries, mushrooms and
other wild fruit I might find in my way and get some rest.
It was getting darker and darker - “I am not walking fast enough” , I ate a berry or two and
continue going, suddenly I saw a wooden branch led down a stream of water, floating, looked
like a river, I drank a bit of the cold water and continued, I felt somehow relieved, I knew that I
would find more, where there is water, there is life, and food, I was always an optimistic. I
walked for another 15 minutes or so, and I reached an old barn, a deserted barn missing half of
its roof. “I am alive, I will survive” I thought to myself. I got in, I found a shelter, I looked
everywhere and luckily I found some old jars. I collected pieces of wood and blocked the main
entrance. It was late, I hid under the hay to warm up and fell asleep instantly. I woke up
suddenly in the middle of the night to a gun pointed to my head; a beautiful woman with raven
locks in a tailored green uniform had the cold metal pressing against my temple. `My goodne​​ss,
she is beautiful, her raven locks and beautiful eyes mesmerized me, she was so determined
and disciplined, almost robotical, yet so human and fragile in her appearance '' I thought to
myself. I looked at her uniform and noticed the Russian emblem, I was not afraid, I knew a few
words in Russian. “Hello,” I said in Russian. My name is Mitch, I am a pianist and a fugitive in a
janitor uniform.“-I was hoping for her to drop the gun and shake my hand. I kept forgetting the
war scenario I was in. I just wanted to return to my piano and warm hanukkah celebrations with
my family. she looked at me without any facial movement, the cold metal still pressing against
my temple, “tell me everything, why are you here” she said. I had to narrate everything and for
an hour I had to feel the cold of the weapon against my temple becoming gradually warm to
match my body temperature. Time stood still again. Eventually she dropped the weapon and
shook my hand’ Hi” she said in Russia, I am Korina. Nice to meet you, let’s find food and keep
warm, and think strategically about how we will survive until liberation.
I smiled and thanked the Heavens for sending me such a beautiful, smart and tough companion.
We went out in the woods, she did not use her riffle at all, she was spearing the bullets for
emergencies, she hunted for fish and other animals without the riffle using her knife, I was
mesmerised by her poetical feminine beauty and her mental and physical toughness and
strength , I had never seen a woman so well trained for survival, I felt overwhelmed and
intimidated. We spent a whole week learning about the woods, scouting for food and trails, we
would spend at least 8 hours a day walking and learning about our surrounding environment. It
was truly a blessing meeting Korina. During a week I learnt so much about her culture, about
her service and her jewish heritage. We would spend every evening at the fire camp, a hunter
and a pianist talking about our families and planning for the next day. Another day of survival,
we would take each day as it was, a crisis, a survival quest. At one point, by the end of the
week, Korina suggested we should sleep under the same pile of hay to keep warm, our bodies
together as one would fuel the warm necessary and we could save some for emergency, she
was always thinking strategically and she always had a plan B, saving careful gathers sticks and
pieces of wood for emergencies. Knowing Korina so well already, and becoming one warm body
under a pile of hay with her, was truly magical for me in this horror, like a poem written with
wooden sticks and using mud as ink, like a piano song where notes were bullets to protect us
and keep us alive. It was a light in the darkness, I could safely say I was already in love with
her and planned to marry her after the liberation. One week and I was taken by her
beauty, her strength, her intelligent survival skills, I was worried she would leave me after
the liberation. I could not tell her I loved her already in order not to scare her or change
anything. I kept it to myself but each day I was wondering if there is a good moment for
me to tell her about my feelings and how serious I am in my future pursuits toward​​s her. I
did not want to scare her off, so I kept everything in my mind and heart creating melodies
and poems about the beautiful muse with dark lovely locks and berry eyes that saved me
and kept me companionship. I was worried about my mother but Korina succeeded to
keep me in a positive state of mind, I started learning to discipline my thoughts, learnt
that from my beautiful muse. “How can I tell her I loved her? Korina, would you spend
the rest of your life with me” ? That would certainly scare her off and I do not want a cold
shoulder, I do not want to break this magic spell, I want it to last forever, I could just live
in the woods forever only if Korina stayed with me. I was so in love and still am while I
wrote about my beautiful saviour. I was thinking how lucky I was not to be alone, I was
thinking about all those people alone in those horrific times, field with violence,
uncertainty and cruelty. I was very lucky and grateful for Korina.
On the night of the 24th of November, we experienced one of the most frightening events
that brought us closer together but also endangered us severly and wounded us.

Wolves. Korina had a riffle and a pocket knife.

While hidden in the hay, we heard a noise in the barn, I had no flashlight, we kept no lights on or
fire during the night, Korina grabbed her weapon instinctively, I reached for the red lighter in
Korina’s jacket, by the time I reached the jacket, I felt as if my hand was caught in a chainsaw, I
looked up instantly and saw a pair of red eyes, hungry, lustfully and fiercely looking at me.
Korina had no second thought at it , one move and shut the beast right in the face, there was
nothing poetic in the aftermath caused by the disfigured grey wolf ‘s face, so much red, so much
blood. “How can she be so tough and cold, yet so magnificent’? I have never seen a dead
animal before, I am a pianist and I barely eat meat on Holidays, I have never seen any violence
pain and so much blood. “My beautiful assassin”. I could never imagine my life without her, her
strength, beauty, her skills always overwhelmed me , surprised me and intimidated me. “ I
could only love her more” . We walked outside, Korina lightened a piece of wood and we
stepped silently outside, heading down the river. She cleaned my wound, and used the
alcohol, her Russian Vodka, she kept with her n a tiny bottle, hidden in her green jacket
to disinfect my wound, afterwards she took a piece of her red shirt and rubbed my hand
in it, another piece of clothe she used as bandage, I could not tell if it was the color of the
shirt or my blood, everything was red. I noticed the emotion on her face for the first time,
she kissed my hand gently and said, It will be alright. A tear fell on her beautiful pink
cheek and she continued “ I cannot lose you”. I looked at her beautiful face shining
gloriously in the moonlight and could not help myself saying out loud: “Marry me,
Korina, would you ever consider at least, please”? She looked back at me with such
compassion in her eyes and smile, I believe you, let’s stay alive for now and focus on
survival. I was just happy and grateful she did not reject me. I found much hope in that.