THE COMEBACK

An ode to a lifetime of intentional happiness and moments of hopeful healing.

Written by: Falis. Amir

The journey to healing, self-discovery, and self-awareness can oftentimes be a lonely
one.

May you find companionship in my words and may they serve as a warm blanket of
understanding, comfort, and peace.
Source
2 FALIS AMIR

Dear God,
You have blessed me with so many priceless things I did not ask for. 
May You allow me to be a servant whom You’re proud of. 
You have taken away so many things I thought I needed.
I’ve poured the love and adoration belonging to You,
into your creations. 
Realizing that these worldly obsessions fade and are of no real substance. 
May You allow me to be strong enough
to be only dependent on You,
and You alone
3 THE COMEBACK

Because I’ve found genuine peace

and contentment within my soul, 
I pray for you in private. 
I pray you find the person you deserve. 
The person who is the perfect fit for you. 
I’ve finally come to terms 
with you not being a part of my divine life’s plan. 
Although it hurts,
I understand that we just weren’t meant to be. 
I now understand that you’ve served your purpose
with me.
I pray you first become and remain happy within,
then create the happiness
we’ve been searching for in one another. 

- A Product of a Broken Home

I thank you. 
If it weren’t for the heartbreak and heartache,
I wouldn’t have made the conscious decision to relearn myself. 
To rediscover myself.
I thank you 
for the countless lessons,
the things I wouldn’t otherwise have learned without you. 
I thank you for being so unwilling to compromise,
to fight for me,
to fight for us. 
I thank you for your unwillingness to not only change for me,
but most importantly,
to change for you. 
It is because of our demise,
I've found peace, trust and, solace in my Maker. 

- “A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which
makes you forget the remembrance of Allah.” ~Ibn Taymiyyah
I’ve put all my faith and trust in my Lord
and know that His plans will always supersede mine. 
There’s a reason why we were brought back into each other’s lives. 
A reason our simple brain will never understand. 
However,
I am filled with joy 
and contentment because of you. 
I pray we’re constantly united with love, understanding, and respect between us. 

• Tawakkul (Trusting in God’s plan)

Dear God, 
before I get too attached,
before I lose myself trying to please
Your creation, 
yet again,
please show me their 
ugliness upfront. 
Show me the parts of them they’ve become masters at hiding. 
Let me see it before I’m invested. 
I pray I’m able to accept it. 
Questions
7 THE COMEBACK

Have you ever 

felt emotions 
so deep,
yet,
forming a sentence as to why 
or how 
you’re feeling 
was nearly impossible?
8 FALIS AMIR

Why do I allow myself

to share,
perhaps overshare?
Overshare my joys,
fears,
wants,
and dreams. 
Didn’t you know,
that you should keep
the very things you value 
close?
9 THE COMEBACK

Dear heart,
how many times 
will you
break?
Shatter?
Bleed?
How many times
do you expect me
to sew and stitch
you back together again?
Why do you fall so easily
with those who aren’t worthy of our love?
10 FALIS AMIR

It stings. 
When they own their shortcomings about their past wrongdoings. 
When they come around and admit that you were right. 
All along. 
When they vocalize that they dropped the ball when they let you slip away. 
However, 
it still stings,
doesn’t it?
To burden yourself with wishful thinking. 
The back and forth. 
What good will that information do for me now?
What good is that accountability,
now that you’ve chosen another life?
Another path?
Now that I’ve intentionally healed?
11 THE COMEBACK

I sometimes wonder,
what it would’ve been like….
who we would’ve been together
if we were to connect at a different time. 
Unfortunately,
I was too determined to make you mine
back then. 
But the lines got crossed,
things got murky,
and we eventually went down our individual paths, 
respectfully. 
12 FALIS AMIR

Why is it 
that we overlook certain things  
to temporarily please ourselves?
Perhaps, to even fill a void?
As if those exact things
won’t haunt us down the line?
We shouldn’t be so quick to overlook
and ignore our subconscious warnings. 
Not only does it know better,
but it also
wants
better for us.
13 THE COMEBACK

The reason why they’ve treated me the way they have...

why they’ve kept me at bay,
why conversational exchanges were limited to surface-level,
why they took but never gave,
why they’ve poured out of, and never in,
why they consumed me of my divine energy,
why they never had plans of staying,
long term
...is because ultimately,
I
let
them. 
 
 
14 FALIS AMIR

I must stop asking myself,

“how could they have hurt me”
and start asking myself,
“how could I have let them?”
How did I not love myself enough to have allowed them
to get away with meeting me at the low standards I’ve continued to accept?
15 THE COMEBACK

Do you sometimes wish

to have met a particular person
at a particular point in their growth?
When they’re able to articulate and show up for you
in ways you wished they would have?
Do you sometimes wish
to have met them at a point
when they’re emotionally intelligent, emotionally mature, and emotionally available?
That they’ve worked through their own traumas,
so they don’t bleed on you?
So you’re not building them up
again
only for someone else
to reap the reward.
16 FALIS AMIR

How long after

daydreaming about the perfect life partner,
wishfully creating scenarios,
and convincing ourselves of bliss
do we meet them in real life?
17 THE COMEBACK

At what point do you tell yourself you deserve better,

and actively seek it?
At what point do you intentionally become better for yourself?
How long will you allow yourself to be in a situation you’re unhappy in?
Are you not worth more than mediocrity?
18 FALIS AMIR

Why is it 
that we’d rather go through the trials and tribulations 
than to take advice from someone who can see through the smoke?
From someone who insists they know better,
because they usually do.
Why is it
that we’d rather see the outcome for ourselves?
Risk everything
than to take their word?
Why don’t we ever save our hearts from inevitable brokenness?
19 THE COMEBACK

Was what we shared not worthy 

of the wait? 
Worthy of you changing?
Or is that selfish of me to ask?
Contentment
20 FALIS AMIR

I’ve learned that community and tribe

are the most important things in our lives. 
It is in these bonds where they will not only pick us up,
but carry us when we’re at our lowest. 
It is in these bonds where they will walk to the end of the world for us
when we need it the most. 
It is in these bonds where they will show up for us 
Every single
time. 
Even when we don’t think we need them, 
especially when we don’t think we’re worthy. 
21 THE COMEBACK

As a female,
why are we expected 
by society,
by our communities,
to reach specific milestones 
by a specific age?
Why is it we get frowned upon 
when we decide 
to dance to the drum of our own beat?
To live our lives solely for ourselves?
Everyone walks their own unique paths in life. 
Don’t rush yours. 
22 FALIS AMIR

Comparison is cruel. 
It essentially robs you of your birthright to happiness. 
It is merely a self-sabotaging mechanism 
we often use to question Gods perfect timing. 
To question our self worth. 
You must repel the negativity 
and know that your season is hastily approaching. 
23 THE COMEBACK

The people we meet perceive us differently than what we are at our core.
Whom we are at our core.
Whether it’s true or it’s heresy. 
It is not up to us 
to prove 
nor disprove ourselves. 

- Qualms
24 FALIS AMIR

What I thought I’d miss was the person I was

long before I knew myself...
before I really knew myself. 
Long before I’ve sought acceptance and validation from those whom I’d do anything for.
From those whose opinions meant more to me than my own.
I thought I’d miss the person who thought she could hide behind 
a pretty smile, inviting conversations and a distraction. 
Turns out,
she was hiding from herself. 
Hiding in fear 
of having to discover her true self. 
Of having to unpack
unlearn 
and unfold 
the traumas. 
26 FALIS AMIR

After all this time, 

I wanted to quench my thirst,
to fill the void.  
After all this time,
I thought I’d reach out. 
With hopes of meeting you in the exact place I was. 
The space between longing and self-doubt. 
With hopes of you finally realizing
vocalizing
what I meant to you. 
What we could’ve 
and should’ve been. 
With hopes of finally starting the life we both so desperately envisioned with one
another. 
Only to find out, 
that you didn’t wait for me. 
Only to find out that you’ve abandoned our dreams and plans 
by starting your own life,
manifesting your own happiness. 
But was that even happiness?
Because it has since ended. 
Because of that,
I thank God profusely.

- Mistaken Belief 
26 FALIS AMIR

I wish I would have known

long ago,
that all that glitters, isn’t always gold. 
It is sometimes the prettiest packages
that hold the wrath, 
the contempt 
and the corruption of others who paint themselves in such a beautiful way
that is perfectly fitting with what they think you need. 
What you think you need. 
Growth
27 THE COMEBACK

What is growth without pain?

Without discomfort?
For it is the discomfort 
that allows you to grow 
comfortably. 
28 FALIS AMIR

There is beauty and strength in breaking. 

So
break,
shatter,
crumble. 
Know that every new experience 
and life adjustment 
lacks comfort. 
Which is ultimately what helps us...
become. 
29 THE COMEBACK

You see,
I was unable to give myself that push
that I so desperately needed. 
I needed you to play your perfectly constructed imperfect role
in my life
to allow me to go through with what I was too afraid to do. 
Too afraid to admit
out loud.
I am thankful and humbled by our necessary divergence.
30 FALIS AMIR

Take back your power:

Discern boundaries 
and create a safety net full of love, accountability,
and progression. 
31 THE COMEBACK

Funny isn’t it,

how the same person you may have overlooked 
at a particular point in your life,
had you rethinking your decisions?
At a stretch of time when you didn’t know who you were as a person,
32 FALIS AMIR

at a stretch of time you probably would’ve sabotaged their love. 

I believe that meeting or reconnecting with the people who come into our lives 
is strictly determined by time
and the perception we have of ourselves. 
The time will tell us whether we’ve matured,
and the views of ourselves will tell us if we still require healing.
33 THE COMEBACK

Those docile days are over and done with. 

I cannot
and will not, 
bring myself to overlook myself. 
To starve myself 
of the happiness and peace 
I am created to experience
here. 

- Deprivation
34 FALIS AMIR

The reason why

I tend to pull back from you 
is because I am afraid of the unknown. 
Afraid of the uncertainty the future brings. 
I tend to pull back from you
because I want this to be the forever kind. 
But unsure of our bonds expiration date,
if at all.
35 THE COMEBACK

I am trying to learn how to be still. 

How to enjoy the moment. 
Live. 
Bask. 
Feel. 
I sometimes get ahead of myself 
and daydream
and plan. 
36 FALIS AMIR

Before the hypothetical scenarios I’ve fabricated even arise. 

I am trying to learn how to be still. 
To stop creating ends before the stories even begin.

What is the difference between

you and
whomever it is that you admire?
Whether it is for
their spirit,
their positive outlooks on fortunes 
and misfortunes alike?
Embody that. 
Become that. 
Realization
37 THE COMEBACK

I am realizing
that the type of people I attract
is directly linked to how I view myself.
I’ve always wondered why I am drawn to those whom
aren’t capable of emotional maturity
and of self-awareness.
I am realizing
that I had to be presented with those types of people
to have them aid me in increasing my self-worth.
And in turn,
I have acted as that same vessel for those whom I meet.
38 FALIS AMIR

I want to be able to revisit my past,

to be able to talk to my younger self
without having my heart pierced with guilt, resentment nor shame. 
I no longer want to be as fragile as glass. 
I want the spaces I enter and choose to exist in,
to make me comfortable and confident enough 
to speak my truth of the paths that allowed me to overcome 
the brief instances
I was absentmindedly labelling as
‘guilt, resentment and shame’. 
39 THE COMEBACK

I don’t remember how I got here.

Or when that exact moment was
when the lines became blurred. 
The moment when you became more of me
than my own being. 
That exact moment when I could barely recognize myself,
recognize the person I was
before you. 

- Inferiority Complex
40 FALIS AMIR

In the beginning when everything glitters

and both parties carefully
and strategically,
show only their best traits. 
Captivating you. 
Reeling you in. 
In hopes of wooing you,
and trapping you into their web of destruction. 
They lead with their best foot forward. 
41 THE COMEBACK

This road is all too familiar. 

Intentional. 
We’ve been down this road before. 
Before the different points of views,
before the mind games,
before the toxicity. 
Before the real habits and character traits surface. 
Before they break you. 
42 FALIS AMIR

I am as complex as they come. 

I sometimes don’t even understand myself. 
But you,
you understood me. 
You still...
understand me. 
Even when I’m not being understanding. 
In fact,
you know me better than I sometimes know myself. 
No matter how much time we are apart,
when we reconnect, 
it’s like we’ve never missed a beat. 
But I now know,
that you were not conducive to the journey I am currently on.
The person I’m striving to become. 
You’ve served your purpose for when I thought needed you. 
That lesson I failed to learn
year after year.
When I let you overextend your stay
here. 
43 THE COMEBACK

I am convinced.
Convinced that because I didn’t learn the lesson,
I met you in different forms.
No progression.
And fell for the different versions of you every time.
I now know
about people like you:
Those who are sent into our lives
to see whether we take the bait
again.
44 FALIS AMIR

Loving others as fiercely as I do,

has cost me 
myself. 
The downfall of it has caused me to rebirth myself 
and become this new version. 
Because of what I’ve deemed as failures,
I am now much kinder to myself,
much more trusting of myself
since seeing how those we love
can treat us, 
and bring out the worst in us.
45 THE COMEBACK

How easy it was…

to let you
to have allowed you
to have that much power over me. 
46 FALIS AMIR

A lack of self-worth and confidence 

will have you thinking the love and acceptance you feel
from those whom you choose to love
is a reflection of who they are.
A reflection of the love they innately possess.
A reflection of the love you bring out of them. 
When in fact,
it is you.
It has always been you
experiencing your own love
from a source outside of you. 

- Mirror
47 THE COMEBACK

Timing is everything. 
You may meet the right person for you,
but if the timing doesn’t align
with your life’s inevitable divine plan,
woefully,
like a puzzle, it’ll never fit. 
48 FALIS AMIR

As females,
why are we preconditioned?
Taught life lessons on ‘how to keep a man’. 
Taught that our lives aren’t complete 
without him and some children to share it with?
Why do we search high and low,
continuously mending our broken hearts, 
only for it to be broken by the next?

- Cycle 
49 THE COMEBACK

Perfection is a figment of our imagination. 

Something society has instilled in us. 
Especially in romantic relationships. 
I have suffered from expecting perfection in all that I do. 
I am unlearning that now. 
I now only strive for progress instead. 
50 FALIS AMIR

Happiness is subjective. 
I’ve found what I’ve deemed as ‘happiness’
in others. 
Yet, it was conditional. 
Feeble. 
51 THE COMEBACK

I’ve since learned that happiness must first come from within. 
I am learning that now. 
Happiness cannot be tied to another human being
nor is it a ‘thing’ to attain and conquer. 
I am learning that now. 
Happiness is a state of mind, body, soul. 
It is the core of you living in your truth and being able to
form, sustain, and water
healthy, evenly yoked, genuine relationships

- Create Your Own Happiness 

Long before I knew my likes and dislikes

and who I was as an individual,
I knew I had a deep sense of longing
for a spiritual and emotional connection. 
52 FALIS AMIR

However,
those who I’ve allowed to exist in my space
were just fixated on physical characteristics. 
Not my way of thought,
nor who I am as a person. 
I see that now. 
I’ve since realized that they had no capability of seeing me
for me
because they haven’t met themselves beneath surface level.
I see that now.

Sleepless nights
have become the norm. 
With so much going on in this world,
53 THE COMEBACK

the privilege
the hate imbedded in societal norms,
and the state of humanity. 
With so much going on in my thoughts,
the uncertainty about the future,
the unease,
and the dreadful life choices. 
I no longer find the peace required for sleep. 

- Triumph

That’s the thing about the toxic people 

who camouflage themselves as friends,
54 FALIS AMIR

yet they’re always intentional. 

Maliciously calculated. 
With their openness of their company,
and their disingenuous “happiness” for your milestones. 
May we have the ability to differentiate between
genuine soul ties
and those strictly brought into our lives to serve one purpose: 
themselves. 
55 THE COMEBACK

There were times 

I thought sacrificing myself
would keep them in my world.  
Would make them want to keep me in theirs.
As if I’m some sort of possession. 
I wish I would’ve known,
I am not a “thing” 
to “keep”,
to put on display solely for the admiration of others. 
56 THE COMEBACK

I cannot remember the last time I felt seen,

felt genuinely appreciated by someone. 
I am thankful for that necessary break
I took from outside distractions,
where I’ve rediscovered
and reinvented myself. 
I no longer seek outside validation.
Everything I love, want, and need
is within me.
Already.
57 THE COMEBACK

I am tired of being everything for everyone

yet
not enough for myself. 
Never
enough for myself. 
I am practicing showing up 
for myself,
first and foremost
every single time. 

- Note To Self 
58 FALIS AMIR

The thing about goodbyes 

is that it’s never really goodbye. 
Especially with lovers
who somehow have a strong hold on us. 
Why must they enter and exit,
through a revolving door?
Advice
59 THE COMEBACK

When your confidence is shattered,

and your self-esteem is non-existent,
I pray you have a tribe to remind you
of your worth,
of your inner
and outer 
beauty. 
I pray they remind you of your exquisiteness. 
I pray they remind you of God: The One Who Cures,
The Healer. 
Because darling,
whether we’ve found it or not,
we all have a purpose. 
Don’t cut yours short,
or give up on yours before it is even given the opportunity to flourish. 
60 FALIS AMIR

Funny thing about those tables

is that they have a way
when you least expect it,
to be on the receiving end of 
all that you’ve dished out.
All that you said you’d never be. 
Life has a funny way of humbling us. 
Reminding us how quickly those tables can turn. 
How quickly this world can shift reality. 
Down to your knees. 
Down in that dark hole that becomes your reality. 
That dark hole you once thought you were above. 
Never let your ego
be the reasons you
fall so deep, you cannot bounce back. 
61 THE COMEBACK

Since I didn’t have the knowledge,

confidence nor faith to know all that I know
now,
I vow to teach it to my offspring. 
To those who will come after me. 
So that they will be able to navigate this cruel world
with the power of intention
and the gift of knowledge. 
62 FALIS AMIR

Let us teach our young daughters everything we’ve had to learn the hard way. 
That anything forced is fruitless. 
To not only practice
but prioritize self-respect and self-love. 
It is okay to ask for direction
perhaps even guidance.
It is okay to follow your gut, it’ll never leave you astray. 
Most importantly,
never be afraid to say no to the things that don’t serve you. 
63 THE COMEBACK

Understand that we become our thoughts. 

That words and thoughts carry weight. 
Hold yourself accountable
to make them pure and full of love,
and light. 
Above all,
trust in all His glory. 
64 FALIS AMIR

Give yourself permission to refute anything that takes away from your inner peace.
Give yourself the right to purpose and happiness. 
Give yourself room to grow.
Believe in bringing your manifestations to life.
Give yourself the power to express your truths,
no matter how uncomfortable it might be for others. 
Give yourself the grace to make mistakes,
as they are our best teachers. 
65 THE COMEBACK

I sometimes torture myself with the thoughts of what could have been. 
Mindlessly. 
I then catch myself
and remind myself,  
that
since we didn’t vibe on the same frequency,
since we weren’t created in pairs by the Almighty, 
you’ll continue to search for a woman with my traits, 
my energy,
and my unmatched aura. 
A woman who only seemingly partially resembles me. 
If at all. 
You should’ve learned to love, accept and cherish all of me:
my beauty and my beast. 
66 FALIS AMIR

Never give too much of yourself 

to those who aren’t deserving. 
Never share too much of your energy,
your traumas,
your dreams,
not even your fears
with those who don’t help you carry the load. 
Affirmations
67 THE COMEBACK

This is an ode to the woman I am becoming. 

For she is not afraid to take a leap of faith
to soothe her deepest life’s desires.  
She is not too proud to know that what is not meant for her will never reach her,
and like her shadow in the dark, 
whatever has fled from her
was for the betterment of her personal evolution. 
She is not too keen on forcing anything:
friends nor men alike. 
She has learned to trim her dead ends,
both literally and figuratively. 
May she continue soaring and living in her truth. 
68 FALIS AMIR

I am not my mistakes,
my sorrows,
my fears. 
69 FALIS AMIR

I attract healing,
balance,
alignment 
and positivity. 
70 FALIS AMIR

Pure, genuine, kind-hearted bonds

are the most scared forms of community. 
May you find the happiness you’ve brought into my life
tenfold. 
71 THE COMEBACK

Those you let into your life 

should know 
how valuable,
72 FALIS AMIR

how irreplaceable 
you are. 
May they never forget it. 
May they always remind you. 
73 THE COMEBACK

Be so concerned with
your aspirations,
your goals,
and your happiness,
that you simultaneously
and intentionally
detach yourself from
everything that no longer serves your higher self. 

- Purpose 
74 FALIS AMIR

The bad can sometimes outweigh the good. 

The bad is sometimes needed to appreciate the good.
75 THE COMEBACK

For every new phase in your life,

you will require a different mindset
a different version of yourself. 
Be mindful of your thoughts and actions. 
Be intentional with your space,
your time,
and your inner peace. 
76 FALIS AMIR

I am giving myself the freedom to no longer be consumed by people. 

What they think of me,
isn’t any of my business. 
I am learning that growth and healing
can be a lonely
but necessary journey. 
I understand that you cannot truly love anyone,
if you haven’t put in the effort and intentions
to love and accept yourself
fully. 
77 THE COMEBACK

Be at peace with yourself

before you go searching for the missing piece to
“complete your puzzle.”
Understand that you alone 
are complete and whole. 
78 FALIS AMIR

I find comfort in knowing that I have the strength to forgive myself.

That I have the knowledge to trust myself. 
That there is a reason for everything we experience in life. 
It is sometimes from those unpleasant, cringe-worthy situations 
where we find solace.
Where we find the silver lining 
which allows us to see the beauty in the pain. 
A perspective shift is required to see it,
but only if we want to. 
Only if we’re open to the commitment called personal growth.
79 THE COMEBACK

Have you ever been so intrigued 

at how we as living organisms require love to thrive?
I’ve spent so much effort
in finding myself.
I’ve been caught up in guaranteed failed attempts
at making myself happy
through others,
that meeting you at a point in my life
where I now know that
I am love,
and enough,
has added to that temporary happiness. 
80 FALIS AMIR

I am prepared for love. 

For genuine,
unconditional,
everlasting love. 
For connection,
happiness,
and eternal bliss. 
81 THE COMEBACK

I pray you meet someone 

who has made the conscious decision to change for themselves 
at the perfect time they were sent to you.

- Alignment 
82 FALIS AMIR

I strive to be so confident in myself

and what I have to offer as a spiritual being,
that I will never allow myself 
to be an afterthought 
again. 

- Unyielding
83 THE COMEBACK

I am granting myself the permission to start again. 

To start over. 
From scratch. 
I am giving myself the grace to know
that everything I’ve experienced in this world
was as perfect as it needed to be.
Even though situations were far from perfect.
I had to gain experience and trust
84 FALIS AMIR

to lead and propel me onto this path. 

No steps skipped. 
This path where I’m loving the person I am blossoming into.
Here where my energy is radiant and apparent
to those who know me to my core. 

- Like The Rose That Grew From Concrete. 

I am worth so much more 

than what I’ve put up with in the past. 
I vow to never shrink myself again. 
85 THE COMEBACK

I aspire to rise like the vibrations that inspire me: 

higher. 
Healing
86 FALIS AMIR

To those who’ve experienced my infinite love

at a particular moment in my life 
when I didn’t know who 
87 THE COMEBACK

or what 
I was. 
I just want to say,
thank you. 

You have taught me such valuable lessons I needed to learn. 

You’ve taught me to believe actions because words are transitory. 
88 FALIS AMIR

Gone 
the moment they’re spoken. 
You’ve taught me to no longer break myself in half
for anyone or anything
especially when it’s not reciprocated and expected. 
From here on out,
I’m only offering the same energy received. 
You’ve pushed me to question what I thought was happiness.
To pick it apart,
to analyze it
and superglue the pieces that fit 
back together. 
Though,
those pieces wouldn’t configure without force,
unless the correct pieces were attached. 
That’s when I realized
we were never the correct pieces for one another,
and no matter what we’d try,
we’d never align.

- Teacher or Student

Like a flower
89 HE COMEBACK

I couldn’t bloom,  
couldn’t grow in an environment that wasn’t conducive
to happiness, healing nor light. 
Like a plant,
I needed to uproot. 
Re-root 
myself,
to a space filled with the happiness, healing and light
I now know I’m worthy and deserving of. 
90 FALIS AMIR

I thank you for not being who I thought I wanted....

and who I thought I needed. 
I thank you for being exactly what I needed. 
That lesson stuck. 
91 THE COMEBACK

I’ve worked on moulding,

bettering,
and building
him up. 
For years. 
Way before I knew a thing about what it takes to sustain a healthy, balanced relationship. 
Way before I knew I had my own traumas to work though. 
For years 
I’ve sat with him,
trying to pick up the pieces 
trying to put them together again 
trying to raise him to become the man he’s always had potential to be. 
Only for him to have let our happy ending slip away. 
92 FALIS AMIR

Fine China. 
She has gotten the masterpiece of the man I so desperately helped mould.
Quite interesting, though. 
That’s the thing about potential,
it’s never what it seems to be. 
There’s a reason for that I’ll never know 
and because of that,
I thank God profusely. 
With you, I did something I vowed I’d never do again:
I fell in love with potential. 
I now realize that you were ordinary…
that it was my love and divine feminine energy that I’ve poured into you.
I now realize that was what made you appear to be who I thought you were. 
Who I thought you had the potential to be.

When you strive to see the good in people,

you allow yourself to be subjected to the wrongdoers,
the manipulators,
the trauma-filled people. 
Those who are hurt
and instead of looking deep within to intentionally heal,
they seek to hurt others. 
Intentionally and unintentionally 

- Broken Soul
93 THE COMEBACK

In your perfect new life, 

answer me this:
do you crave her conversation? 
Does she stimulate your mind?
Speak life and love over you?
Does she pray for you in secret?
Does she intrigue you,
mentally?
Or is this all just a front?
94 FALIS AMIR

Isn’t it an insult,
when you’ve poured your entire soul,
your fears,
your aspirations,
and your entire being
into someone who doesn’t understand the gravity of what you’ve entrusted them with?
When you’ve worked through the flaws,
the kinks,
the imbalance. 
95 THE COMEBACK

When they understood you better than your own self

and you the same...
only for them not to fight
for you. 
For what could have been. 
For them not to have waited for you. 
I am learning not to give too much,
share too much 
of myself with those I choose to be vulnerable with. 
Sometimes
things should be kept. 
Like worldly treasures. 

Sometimes,
I wonder and ask myself
how broken was I 
to have thought you were for me?
To have thought our soul ties were more than what it had appeared to be?
A figment of a perfect perception. 
A fairytale.
I’ve let you be the star of. 
96 FALIS AMIR

I’ve let you see the brokenness, the rawness, and the tenderness of my soul…
of my entire existence. 
Yet, 
you couldn’t see the masterpiece you were standing before. 
How could you walk away
knowing all that you know?
Knowing what I’ve kept buried deep within my heart
Before trusting and choosing you?
Knowing you’ve taken a piece of me 
with you 
when you left. 

These men
with the perfect timing
who know when to appear,
and who know exactly what to say. 
As if there’s a standard script they all share. 
We should know better. 
Better than to let them in
97 THE COMEBACK

again. 
Dive in 
again. 
Same old story
same old song,
same old dance. 
Where we play a game,
and convince ourselves 
that it is fate:
a sign from the Universe
for them somehow finding their way back to us. 
Be mindful:
this is our insecurities speaking. 
Seeping through
and allowing them to feed our egos. 
By casting them in our happily ever after. 
98 FALIS AMIR

I’ve always struggled with the notion that we all have a soulmate. 
Singular. 
Once in a lifetime.
I’ve come to believe 
that we meet people at different points in our lives,
and for different reasons. 
I believe we meet people who not only bring out different versions of ourselves,
but who simultaneously teach us different lessons. 
I’ve met people who’ve somehow taught me
while simultaneously hurting me,
I’ve loved them anyway. 
I’ve met people who’ve used me
while simultaneously filling a void by keeping me company,
I’ve loved them anyway. 
At least, that’s what I thought it was. 
What I told myself it was: 
love. 
It took me quite some time to understand 
that they didn’t know any better. 
They were simply walking the path they needed to;
the path they were meant to take 
directly into my life. 
The path that led them to love my physical cloak
99 THE COMEBACK

rather than learn about my inner and spiritual being. 

The path I eventually needed to remain on
alone
to work towards self-progression and self-worth. 
But what does it mean,
when I keep coming across the same kinds of people,
with the same tragic ending?
Dear God, what are you trying to teach me?
Why haven’t I understood the lesson yet?
How many more times will I relive this story, until I do?

- Hurt People Hurt People 

This world where

our boys
are confined to a lifestyle,
of hopes and dreams of a better life. 
Where they are loyal to safekeeping it.  
Loyal to a fault.
In fact, determined. 
When they’re tested in this world,
they’re met with the most heinous of fate.
To return to a motherland they have no memory of, 
no emotional ties to…
if they’re even fortunate enough to be given that option. 
Our boys 
who are in prison, 
fighting for their respect and dignity. 
Fighting for neighbourhoods they were forced to develop ties with. 
Our boys
who are in their graves begging for another chance
at this life we tend to take for granted. 
These outcomes where they need us now more than ever. 
Collectively. 
To support
100 FALIS AMIR

to love,
and to pray for them. 
To keep their memories 
and names 
alive. 

I often lay awake

at ungodly hours, 
unable to sleep. 
During the hours where God is closest to Earth. 
During the hours when it is believed that we are interconnected with the Universe. 
I often lay awake drowning in my fears, 
my regrets,
my sorrows. 
The ones that will never be uttered nor released
into the Universe. 
Oftentimes these thoughts have the power of becoming suffocating. 
Like quicksand,
able to bring me under
and keep me there. 
101 THE COMEBACK

There’s a dark place my mind goes 

where I cannot bring myself out of.
A place where my thoughts are clouded
and I don’t feel like myself. 
Outside,
I may seem like I have it all together. 
Content. 
Happy. 
Meanwhile 
inside,
I’m crying out for someone to see me. 
For someone to notice. 
For someone to help me. 
Help me save me from me. 
102 FALIS AMIR

Pain and discomfort are not only necessary,

but they should also be welcomed. 
Expected. 
Perhaps even celebrated.
Life’s tests teach us
how resilient we are. 
They show us
how adaptive and capable we are
if we just trust ourselves. 

- Overcome 
103 THE COMEBACK

Oh, what a tough

daunting 
life. 
To not only have to raise yourself without a positive male figure around,
but to also raise the young King next in line. 
How do you convey your hurt?
How do you come to terms with your pain, frustrations and shortcomings?
How do you even hide your pride? 
Your ego?
How do you not hold resentment in your heart?
Where do you begin to start the healing process?
The unpacking of it all?
Or do you simply choose the easier path 
and just ignore it?
Hoping it’ll go away?
104 FALIS AMIR

When I see you go through those low points

with no one
and 
no where
to turn to,
it reminds me so much of myself. 
Oh, how dark that place is!
It hurts knowing I cannot help you. 
Because frankly, I still don’t know how
to help myself. 
When that place calls out for me 
I just try not to give in,
And try to ignore it.
Sometimes I am strong and able, 
and other times, I fold. 
Both times I defy natural law. 
105 THE COMEBACK

The importance of practicing stillness is necessary. 

In fact,
it is vital. 
It is an intentional practice of self-care, acceptance, and love.
When this world expects so much from you,
when you have countless obligations to tend to,
remember to sit. 
To be still. 
To breathe. 
Free yourself from ego, 
from pride,
and worldly expectations. 
Practice stillness 
as if it were a means for survival…
because sometimes, it is. 
106 FALIS AMIR

We must learn to value,

to appreciate 
and practice 
our solitude.
Not fear it. 
We must invite 
stillness.  
Choose growth over company 
every time. 
Especially when it’s lonely.

Oftentimes, I have to remind myself

not to settle for mediocrity. 
Not to settle for potential.
I have to remind myself that I am gold. 
A work of art. 
Oh, how magical it’ll be
when I meet the one I’m meant for. 
The one I’m made for. 
107 THE COMEBACK

I am patiently waiting for the day

when you no longer infiltrate my thoughts
and my sense of peace.
Courage
109 THE COMEBACK

What do you do
when you can’t heal the hurt
and the pain
of those whom you love?
110 FALIS AMIR

When it’s bigger than you?

Beyond you?
What more can you do,
but be there 
and be strong for them?

Can you pinpoint that exact moment when

you’ve made the conscious decision 
to live your life authentically?
111 THE COMEBACK

That exact moment you decided

to pick up 
or drop
certain character traits 
or habits 
that have shaped the person you are today? 

To those women
who intentionally pretend like they have it all figured out. 
112 FALIS AMIR

Who have to pretend they’re happy. 

Who care more about how they’re perceived
than how they are behind closed doors. 
You will never cease to amaze me. 
Who knew being an actor was so exhausting?

Learn to forgive yourself

113 THE COMEBACK

for the shortcomings you may have had. 

For the missteps,
misfortunes,
and miscalculations. 
Learn to heal yourself 
from the traumas you’ve buried deep within. 
From the heartache,
heartbreaks,
and hopelessness. 
Learn to honour yourself. 
Always.
Onward and upward. 
114 FALIS AMIR

I am grateful to have been blessed with 

genuine goodness in character traits. 
To be able to feel calamities for others so deeply,
and happiness for others so selflessly.
Sharing the pain and joy of loved ones so intensely
so they don’t have to experience it alone. 
115 THE COMEBACK

It is crucial
to first establish a deep kinship.
A deep understanding. 
To know an individual for who they are,
not what they say they are. 
To dive deep into their psyche. 
116 FALIS AMIR

Before the titles box us in,

before the lines get crossed,
roles get played,
and before boundaries become murky. 
It is grave to first 
peel back the makeup of an individual,
and understand their love languages,
their traumas,
and why they are who they are. 
To know this and love them anyway. 
Imperfections and all. 

- Chemistry 

I’ve been distant and detached for a while now. 

Purposely. 
I can’t help but feel as though
I’ve let you down. 
You’ve only had two requests of me. 
117 THE COMEBACK

One was more attainable, 

more realistic than the other 
so that the route I chose. 
To make you proud. 
To prove to myself 
that I can indeed find a love more real
more sustainable
than what I was exposed to. 
So that’s what I did. 
And look at it now...
Grace
118 FALIS AMIR

When you’ve done all you can,

as a sibling, friend, partner…
when you’ve given all of your grace and love,
until your cup was empty.
Only to realize...
you’ve been pouring into others from an empty cup. 
118 FALIS AMIR

How heartbreaking it must be,

to have known one thing your entire life. 
Only for it to have been taken from you
so suddenly.
Before you were able to mend the broken fences
and say your piece.
For your peace. 

- Guilt
118 FALIS AMIR

Encourage those around you. 

Share with them,
the gems that you’ve wished you were privy to. 
Normalize sharing the reasons for your setbacks
and how you’ve managed to overcome them. 
Understand that we are all on this unique journey called life,
but it doesn’t have to be a lonely one. 
118 FALIS AMIR

I sometimes cannot find the words

nor the thoughts 
to articulate exactly how I’m feeling. 
How can I tell you that I don’t feel worthy?
That I don’t deserve this life?
Instead,
I sit
cool and composed.
Teaching you all the things I’ve learned along the way,
118 FALIS AMIR

trying to deflect my darkest emotions. 

Hoping those close to me won’t see what’s really behind
the laughs,
or these eyes that grew tired of feelings stemming from shame, doubt, and worthlessness. 

Peace comes from within. 

From self. 
You do not ask to have it. 
You create it. 
Intentionally seek it. 
It is the most important thing you can offer 
those dead ends. 
Those things that were brought into your life to teach you a lesson. 
Those things that weren’t meant to serve you. 
118 FALIS AMIR

Not meant to stay

long-term. 
Yet,
you convinced yourself they deserved to hold space
in your world.
Even when it didn’t feel true.
Give yourself that favour,
and 
let 
go. 

One thing I’m practicing

is 
intentionally making my words as sweet as can be. 
For the words you speak into the Universe can reach the skies
and rain down upon us.  

- Honey
118 FALIS AMIR

There have been times when I have submitted to the goodness that I am blessed with. 
Times I’ve stayed too long,
and loved too hard. 
In hindsight,
I didn’t give up on the very people whom I should have…
so how dare I give up on myself? 
118 FALIS AMIR

We are taught to be superhuman 

to be soft. 
To put those whom we love
first. 
To do it without complaint,
without resentment,
without objections. 
Without self. 
118 FALIS AMIR

Love
118 FALIS AMIR

Thank you for unintentionally setting me free. 

118 FALIS AMIR

I have done the shadow work to elevate into my higher self. 

I am ready for you. 
118 FALIS AMIR

I am love. 
I am deeply rooted
in love.
I exude and embrace 
love. 
Therefore,
I am.
I am an outpouring vessel
of grace and compassion. 
118 FALIS AMIR

My journey of self-acceptance and self-trust

has become the pinnacle of my happiness. 

Love is healing. 
It is a way of life;
It is how we interact with everything
and everyone
around us. 
Love is not only subjected to people,
nor things. 
It is simply a way of being. 
We are love. 
118 FALIS AMIR

Wishing you an abundance of it. 

Enough to last this lifetime
and carry you over into the next. 
That is your birthright. 

- Infinite 

During that impressionable period

when you’re trying to figure yourself out in this world,
and exactly where you fit in it. 
When you’ve made a few mistakes along the way,
hoping you had some guidance. 
I wish you would’ve let love and the craving for a better life guide you. 
118 FALIS AMIR

Have you ever been so enamoured by someone?

So much
that you find yourself borderline obsessing?
I pray to have this same blissful feeling 
when time has passed,
and I’ve met 
and accepted
the real you. 
Whole-heartedly.
118 FALIS AMIR

It feels like we’ve been here before. 

But not really. 
Not on this level of connection. 
With you,
conversations flow so smoothly and so effortlessly. 
I hang onto every word you utter. 
I want to live in that space
eternally. 
Brand them onto me,
118 FALIS AMIR

to re-read
over 
and 
over
when you’re not here beside me. 
With you,
I savour our time shared. 
With you,
it feels as if 
both time and the world have stopped. 
Just for us.
With you, my picture’s perfect. 
Us: my perfect picture. 

Meeting you during my younger days,

not having a care in the world. 
So naive, so trusting. 
Just wanting to be noticed. 
Just wanting to be wanted. 
Not having an ideal relationship with self-love 
which led me
to let you treat me 
less than I’ve intended. 
118 FALIS AMIR

But now,
it’s been 10 years. 
A lifetime of change and growth. 
To have now met the new you,
with your matured behaviour,
matured thoughts,
and matured actions. 
Maybe now,
we can be what we were supposed to be,
perhaps even meant to be,
10 years ago. 

- Soul Ties

You have been a shining light for me

in that dark tunnel I had to trek through. 
I am forever grateful for you. 
You have shown me traits I’ve only believed to exist on a screenplay. 
You have sat with me,
listened to me,
and consoled me. 
You have taken the time to carefully peel back all the layers that make me, 
me.
You’ve made the intentional effort to understand who I am as an individual. 
118 FALIS AMIR

As a whole
and where I fit in, in this crazy world.
You have showered me with your empathy,
comfort and acceptance
time and time again. 
With no hesitation, 
no irritation. 
You’ve made me feel like I matter,
like I’m worthy of unwavering 
genuine, unconditional, screenplay love. 
In you, 
I’ve found someone who reciprocates my energy, passion, and cravings.  
Someone who shares my longing, willingness, and openness 
for a deeper connection. 

- Beneath Surface Level

My blueprint, 
the one person who knew me like no other.
The one whom I’ve confided in,
countless times. 
The one who lit the dark tunnels in my path
and who would never let go of my hand. 
My entire being in human form. 
Outside of me.
I love you like no other. 
I love you more than I love myself. 
The one person who knew my ugliest flaw, 
118 FALIS AMIR

yet treated me like royalty. 

I guess that’s what it means to be a mother. 
You’ve set a great example for the woman I aspire to be. 
The woman I am going to be. 
Without you here in your physical garments,
I promise to
weep,
pray,
and live for you. 
I will keep your name and beautiful aura alive. 
I promise to make you proud of the woman I’m becoming. 
May we reunite when my time comes. 

- April 29

You’ve shown me exactly who you are as a person. 

You’ve shown me your rawness, your vulnerability, and your openness. 
My heart grows fonder of you with each passing day. 
You’ve inspired me to strive to become a better version of myself,
by choosing to be in my life
and for seeing who I am,
internally. 
118 FALIS AMIR

The moment you first connect with someone,

the first time meeting them,
the first glance,
and the first innocent conversation.
This moment tells you everything good you need to know about them. 
I wish to bask in that blissful moment for all of eternity. 
118 FALIS AMIR

Thoughts of you 
have flooded my mind. 
Have engulfed me in a beautiful bliss. 

- Abyss 
118 FALIS AMIR

I am thankful for our misfortunes in others,

that have led us to one another. 
118 FALIS AMIR

My perfect muse. 
Exchanges with you,
are as perfect as
a wonder of the world. 
It’s as if the world has stopped. 
I’ve yearned to be understood 
on an emotional level long before I understood the complexities of relationships. 
The complexities of self.
I’ve yearned to meet someone on the same wavelength, intellectually. 
I’ve yearned to be accepted for my shortcomings and loved anyway. 
Before you, 
it never quite panned out how I’ve hoped. 
Yet, 
118 FALIS AMIR

I’ve reunited with you at such a critical 

vulnerable time for me. 
Ironically,
coincidentally,
as we were both experiencing a new temporary norm. 
At a time in our lives where we were going through our own unique tests.
Tests that require unwavering faith in God,
better life plans
and goals to help us become our most authentic selves. 
All while simultaneously seeing the beauty in one another. 
The beauty of an organic, authentic, deep connection. 
Exposed, yet comfortable. 
As comfortable as home. 
I suppose that’s the thing about life:
it will give us the rawness,
the ugly. 
Yet, 
it is solely up to us 
to not only want to see the flowers,
but to water the flowers,
and ultimately 
become 
flowers. 

In me,
you’ve either 
awakened something I’ve longed for
or
you’ve awakened something in me
I never knew I needed,
never thought I’d find. 
118 FALIS AMIR

You
and I:
a beautiful crash. 
A crash so
unexpected and powerful, 
yet
delightfully ravishing,
inspiring. 
Two planets colliding 
to form a bond so deep. 
Deep enough to unearth 
Earth. 
118 FALIS AMIR

- Big Bang

How is it that
you love me
even though I see myself as broken?
How is it that
you’re still able to find the beauty of my essence 
all while simultaneously being a healing mechanism for me?
How are the parts of me that I am ashamed of,
the very parts you consider enthralling?
I never knew a bond,
a love 
like this. 
Never knew it existed. 
Never knew I was worthy. 
118 FALIS AMIR

Your mind is what captivated me. 

It is what holds me. 
Still. 
Wanting more. 
Wanting to dissect,
interpret, 
revel. 

- Sapiosexual 
118 FALIS AMIR

Have you ever met someone 

who has provided all that your life has been lacking?
Who has made life that much brighter 
just by being in it?
That you pray it works out?
That you pray for it to last?
Praying they’re able to stay, 
indefinitely?
118 FALIS AMIR

True genuine love

is unexplainable.
Magical. 
It knows no bounds. 
It knows no shallowness. 
It makes you want to do better. 
To be better. 
True love is a thing we’re all deserving of. 
No matter what our past nor current situations tell us. 
May we all be blessed with the love we’re deserving of. 

- Worthy
118 FALIS AMIR

We had it all figured out. 

We were perfect for one another. 
Similarities too many to count. 
You were my coolness, 
my voice of reasoning. 
My safe haven, 
my protector. 
The one who would have made me the luckiest girl. 
The happiest. 
I still consider myself the two,
for being granted the opportunity to experience you. 
There’s not a day that goes by,
where you don’t cross my mind. 
How can I ever begin to fully heal?
I can never forget you
and what we could’ve been. 
118 FALIS AMIR

What we should’ve been. 

But my God teaches me not to question Him. 
For He is the best of planners. 
Because of your untimely absence,
I now have this void in my soul. 
A void so tender
neither substances,
time,
nor kinship 
of any kind
can ever 
heal. 

- July 27

Something has shifted in me when I first met you. 

It was so impactful
that I’d like to think that something has also shifted in the world 
when we reconnected. 
You have a way of making me feel seen,
wanted,
appreciated and heard. 
I sometimes ask myself what I did to deserve you. 
Maybe you were my gift
brought to me for staying longer than my expiration date
with those who’ve come before you.
But then I remind myself of my worth.
My right to love
and be loved. 
You are everything I’ve ever dreamed of, 
growing up when I believed in happily ever after. 
118 FALIS AMIR

I wish I had the opportunity 

to tell you what you mean to me. 
To have showered you, 
smothered you with my endless adoration for you. 
I wish I knew your days were numbered,
so I could slow down our time together. 
Savour. 
Bask. 
You were my happy place;
the one person I’ve always felt the strongest connection with. 
Now,
I’m left here to pick up the pieces. 
To figure out who I am without you.
To try and be strong for everyone
even though I am shattered. 
I find myself so lost without you,
questioning everything I thought I’ve ever known. 
118 FALIS AMIR

But my God teaches me not to question Him. 

For He is the best of planners. 
Because of your untimely absence,
I now have this void in my soul. 
A void so tender
neither substances, 
time,
nor kinship 
of any kind 
can ever 
heal. 

- December 27

I’ve been luckily enough 

to have witnessed a glimpse of happiness,
to have not indulged in it,
but to have tasted it. 
A temporary bliss. 
To have learned that it exists
in its purest form.
I cannot wait for the day when I’m able to bask in it. 
Genuinely. 
Unconditionally. 
Indefinitely. 
118 FALIS AMIR

I am thankful for
being reminded of the ways you see my value. 
The small gestures 
that show me
the ways my happiness brings you happiness. 
118 FALIS AMIR

Thank you
for supporting me in trusting myself,
in finding myself
by reverting to my truest self. 

- Benign