SEX and the CIRCUS

SETTING: The inside of Madame Zola’s caravan.

[Babs, Zola, and Violet are sitting around a table, on which there is a crystal ball, drinking
wine and laughing as they gossip about their circus coworkers. As the laughter and chatter
dies down, Babs speaks.]

Babs. So Zola, how’s things going between you and Hugo the Strong Man?

Zola. They’re not. I broke up with that oversized loser. I had a vision of him making out
with those trashy Siamese twins.

Babs. (Gasps) In your crystal ball?

Zola. No, in his trailer.

Violet. Well, you’re better off without him. He’s not even a good kisser. (She takes another
sip from her glass.)

Zola. (Facing Violet) How would you know?

Violet. (Flustered) Well, uh, um, I… What I meant was…

Zola. (Angrily) Were you making out with him behind my back, too?!

Violet. Well…

Zola. (Screaming) Answer the question!

Violet. (Shouting back.) Alright, alright! I admit it, so what? So I made out with him a few
times. Big deal. It’s not like you two were engaged.

Zola. (Furious) I can’t believe this! How could you do that to me? Why I… I… I outta put a
curse on you!

(Zola and Violet stand up and glare at each other, about to fight.)

Babs. Ladies, ladies! Calm down. Here, have some more wine. (They slowly sit down as
Babs fills their glasses.) There’s no need for yous to start fighting. That big shmuck’s not
worth it. Look Zo, we all make mistakes. I’m sure that Violet’s sorry. (Facing Violet) Isn’t
that right Violet?
Violet. (Reluctantly) Yeah… (She picks up her glass and drinks from it.)

Babs. (To Zola) See? And like she said, you’re better off without him, aren’t ya Zo?

Zola. (Reluctantly) I suppose so… (She looks over at Violet, who looks back at her. Zola sighs
and smiles sheepishly.) Oh Violet, I’m sorry.

Violet. Oh, don’t be silly; I’m the one who should be sorry.

(They hug.)

Zola. Oh, let’s not talk about this anymore; your friendship means more to me than that
big ape does any day. Let’s drink – (She picks up her glass and raises it in a toast) to
friendship!

(Babs and Violet raise their glasses.)

Babs. I’ll drink to that! (They drink.) Glad that’s settled. We shouldn’t be fighting over men.
We can have any man we want, anytime we want. I mean look at us: we’re gorgeous. I
mean, you may not be as pretty as I am but –

Violet. (Laughs) If you’re so pretty, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?

Babs. (Slyly) Who says I don’t?

Zola. (Exchanges surprised looks with Violet.) What? No way! Who is it?

Babs. Uh-Oh.

Zola & Violet. (Shocked) The clown?!

Babs. What can I say; I like a guy that can make me laugh.

Violet. His jokes are pretty funny.

Babs. Who said anything about his jokes? I was talking about his face.

Zola. How long has this been going on for?

Babs. Oh… About two months now.

Zola. Two months… (She thinks for a moment and then realizes something.) Wait a
minute… Didn’t you tell me you had a secret admirer two months ago? Was that him?
Babs. Could be…

Zola. Ooh, you little tease! (They all start laughing again.) I can’t believe I didn’t know about
this.

Violet. There seem to be a lot of things you don’t know about.

Zola. What did you say?

Violet. Well after all dear, you didn’t know about me and Hugo, or about Babs and Uh-Oh.
For a medium, you don’t seem to know much. My swings know more than you do! (She
laughs and takes another drink.)

Zola. (Furiously again) Why you little twerp. You’re more two-faced than those Siamese
twins! How did I not see this sooner?

Violet. That’s what I mean; you’re a terrible medium.

Zola. (Enraged) That’s it! That’s it! I’m gonna put a curse on her! (She faces Violet and
raises her hands.)

Babs. Whoa there! Now just stop it you two! Zola, put your hands down. (She lowers her
hands.) I think that maybe we’ve all had a little too much to drink. (Babs grabs their
glasses and slides them over towards her.) Now, why don’t we just forget all about Hugo
and relationships and get back to gossiping. Now, I heard from a reliable source that Ivor,
the new knife-thrower? used to be in prison!

(Zola and Violet gasp and look shocked.)

Zola. You don’t say! What for?

Babs. I don’t know; my informant didn’t say. I was hoping you could take a look in that
crystal ball of yours and find out.

Violet. Ha! If that crystal ball worked, she would have known about Hugo and me.

(Zola glares at Violet, face pursed, but she manages to ignore her. She moves the crystal ball
towards her and waves her hands around it. Violet and Babs lean in.)

Zola. Spirits of the crystal ball, show us why the knife-thrower was in prison.

Babs. What do the spirits say?

Zola. How strange…

Babs. What? What?

Zola. The spirits are showing me your face.

Babs. (Surprised) My face?

Zola. Yes, your face. It looks like it’s from two months ago. Oh look – there’s Hugo. (She
pauses. Suddenly Zola becomes furious.) And you’re making out with him?!

Babs. Oh boy. I think I’m gonna need a drink.

(Babs starts imbibing wine straight from the bottle. The lights fade out.)

THE END.