Child Development

Year by Year

From the Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America

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 Child Development Year by Year
The Waldorf Approach
to Early Childhood
Photo courtesy of Green Meadow Waldorf School
as we think we have a handle on what is happening with our child, everything
seems to change and we find ourselves full of questions again. These year-by-
year descriptions are based on the Waldorf approach to child development and
can perhaps be helpful to new parents.
Waldorf education is based on the
understanding of child and adoles-
cent development unfolding in three
distinct seven–year cycles, from birth
to 7 years of age, from 7 to14, and from
14 to 21. These descriptions summarize
the typical developmental achieve-
ments and challenges in each year of
the first seven-year cycle. Each article
also offers developmental perspec-
tives andpossible ways that parents
and teachers can support a child as he
or she progresses along the path from
infancy to school readiness.
In each seven-year period, one of our
human soul capacities comes to the
fore. It should not be a surprise to the
parents of young children that willing
is the predominant capacity from
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Your child will grow
and change more in the
first seven years than
in any other period of
life. Early childhood is
like spring, burgeoning
with growth forces and
overflowing with fresh
beauty. While the first
few months may seem
to pass slowly, soon
parents are running
after their little ones,
both literally and
metaphorically. As soon
birth to seven. Feeling predominates
in the second seven-year cycle and
thinking in the third. However, in each
seven-year cycle, all of the three soul
capacities are maturing, even though
one is of primary importance.
That is why Waldorf educators often
divide each seven-year cycle approxi-
mately into thirds. So, while the first
seven years as a whole is understood
as the Will period, we characterize the
first third (from birth to 2 1/3) as the
Willing-Willing phase, the second third
(from 2 1/3 to 4 2/3) as the Feeling-Will-
ing phase, and the last third (from 4 2/3
to 7) as the Thinking-Willing phase. This
will make immediate sense to parents
whose children have already passed
from an earlier stage of early childhood
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 Introduction

to a later one. For new parents, this will

make sense as you accompany your
child through the first seven years.

In this way, the first seven-year cycle

lays the foundation for the further
developments in the following two
seven-year cycles. Being aware of
these phases helps us to better under-
stand the shifts in consciousness that
occur in early childhood and how we
can support our children in integrating
the changes they are experiencing.

The suggestions in each article often

apply to more than one specific year,
and may be referred to, but are not
repeated, in every instance. At the
end of each article there are also
excerpts from WECAN publications
and suggestions for further reading.
There are many Waldorf resources that
describe the seven-year cycles greater
detail for readers who want to learn
more about the Waldorf approach
beyond early childhood.

Parenting is a process of development

in itself. Each year with a child helps
us to see how we need to grow and
change, but each year also has an
abundance of moments that make us
smile, laugh, and celebrate together!

For “Links” selections visit www.waldorfearlychildhood.org/family-child-development.php.

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 Child Development Year by Year

The First Year of Life senses will continue to be important

throughout the first seven-year cycle.
The processes of conception and birth
Parents will also observe the exquisite
are no less than miraculous, and the
sequence of developmental move-
actual presence of a new little soul,
ments that begin with the child’s focus-
especially if it is the first child, can bring
ing of the eyes and discovery of hands
to a family a startlingly profound sense
and progress to rolling over, sitting up,
of grace and gratitude. Meeting the
crawling and, finally, to the crowning
unflinching gaze of the newborn in
achievement of standing upright. Ide-
the first weeks may even evoke in the
ally during this process the involuntary
parents a new kind of
primitive reflexes will fade into the
selfless love. A young
background as the child’s movement
mother expressed this
repertoire expands.
experience by saying,
Photo courtesy of Gretchen Devinsky

“Now I know what Challenges can arise in any of these

devotion is.” At the
same time, the enor-
mous responsibility of
parenting a newborn
can also evoke doubt
and uncertainty. New
parents will hopefully
be able to surround
themselves and their
child with a warm community of sup-
port during the first weeks and months
after the arrival of their baby.
During the first year of life both baby
and parents have many new experi-
ences and will make ongoing accom-
modations for the unfolding needs
and capacities of the growing child.
The child will gradually come into
rhythm with eating and sleeping. We
can support the health of the whole
family by recognizing the gift of
sleep and establishing regular sleep
rhythms and rituals.
The child will form secure bonds with
mother and father and later on, begin
to open up to other relationships. The
bodily senses will begin to develop,
with the sense of touch and life (well-
being) being particularly important in
the first few months and self-movement
(proprioception) and balance becoming
increasingly important as the child be-
comes more mobile. These four bodily
areas—in establishing rhythms, in
bonding and separation, in sensory or
movement development. The follow-
ing suggestions as to how to approach
these challenges come out of the un-
derstanding of the nature of the young
child in the first seven years.
Slow Down. The pace of modern life is
too fast for the young child. The young
child needs time, quiet, and occasionally
being left alone to be able to access his
or her innate developmental wisdom.
It can be equally helpful for parents to
slow down and enjoy the overlooked
treasures of daily life.
Be Present. Bringing respect, reverence,
and full attention to the bodily care of
your child can strengthen your relation-
ship and help welcome the child’s being
into the physical body.
Observe and Listen. Watching and
listening to your child will help you
develop sensitivity to his or her needs
and at the same time, help you let go
of unnecessary agendas or worries.
You will learn to distinguish the mean-
ing of different kinds of cries and other
displays of discomfort, as well as what
brings on smiles and laughter.
Warmth. When we speak about warmth
in relation to the young child, we mean
both physical warmth and soul warmth.

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The child’s sense for physical warmth
is not yet developed and we need to
make sure that the child’s physical
forces are being used for growth rather
than for staying warm. The soul warmth
of the family also protects the child and
invites him or her into life.
Create a Safe Space for Free Move-
ment Exploration. The child learns and
develops capacities through move-
ment. The restraint of a car seat is nec-
essary for the child’s safety, but free-
dom to move in an uninhibited way as
often as possible at other times is the
best way to support the child’s unfold-
ing movement capacities. The size and
nature of the play space will change
as the child grows from a blanket on
the floor to a child-safe room next to
the kitchen where a child can explore
freely while dinner is being prepared.
We need to resist the temptation to
help the child or use equipment that
helps the child sit or stand prema-
turely. Play objects can be simple and
will also change as the child grows.
Observing what interests your child in
the moment will help you choose new
play objects as he or she grows.
Take Walks in Nature. Give yourself
and your child regular excursions in
the fresh air and elements. Of course
this implies dressing the child in
proper clothing for the weather and
protecting the child from overexpo-
sure to heat or cold. Babies love to
lie on the grass beneath a tree and
watch the dancing light and shadows
of the leaves overhead. The rhythm
of walking or walking with the child
in a stroller can soothe the fussiest of
babies. The younger child is, the more
important it is that he or she is nestled
in the parent’s arms (rather than facing
outward in the baby carrier) or can see
the parent’s face when being pushed in
the stroller.
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WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 5
The First Year of LIfe
Sing. Sing to your child. A baby is very
attuned to the sound of the parents’
voices. You will of course speak to your
child, but sing to your child, too, even
if you only know a few songs. There is
nothing as calming to most babies as a
lullaby. This is a timeless tradition that
is as true now as it ever was.
Trust. Learn to trust in your developing
relationship with your child and your
own intuition. When questions arise,
new parents should, of course, use
supportive resources such as doctors,
counselors, and more experienced
parents, but also weigh the advice
given to you with your own growing
understanding of your child. Trust also
in your child’s capacities. Life is not
always easy and we need to allow our
children to learn to overcome small
challenges.
Renewed trust, in yourself and in your
child, is the gift of the first year. You
have survived life with not enough
sleep, overcome fears of failing to be
the perfect parent, and discovered a
newfound joy to balance what you
may have had to let go of in choosing
to become a parent. Your child’s open-
ness and trust in the world may even
have led you to a greater trust in life.
Links
J. Swain, “Emmi Pikler’s Trust in the Wise Infant,” from
A Warm and Gentle Welcome (WECAN 2008)
Books
T. Atchison & M. Ris, eds., A Warm and Gentle
Welcome (WECAN 2008)
M. Gerber
Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect
(Resources for Infant Educarers 2003)
Your Self-Confident Baby (Wiley 2012)
H. Heckmann, Nokken: A Garden for Children, 2nd
Edition (WECAN 2015)
M.T. Schunemann
Sing a Song with Baby (Naturally You Can Sing 2001)
The Wonder of Lullabies (Naturally You Can Sing)
5
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 Child Development Year by Year
The One-Year-Old Child
The second year of life begins with the
achievement of uprightness, give or
take a few weeks on either side of the
first birthday, followed by the child’s
first steps. The child’s joy in walking is
obvious, but this accomplishment is of
far greater significance than at first ap-
parent. The progression of movement
development that began with mastery
of the head and “looking,” is followed
by mastery of the hands and “grasping,”
and is crowned with the mastery of
“walking.” Uprightness and walking also
signify the child’s growing awareness of
being separate from the environment.
This awareness of separation is crucial
to the further developments of learning
to speak and learning to think.
Photo courtesy of Gretchen Devinsky
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It is difficult for the parents to keep
track of a newly mobile child, for
everything is interesting and needs to
be touched and tasted. Perception of
space is developing along with greater
surety of gait, but tumbles are regular
occurrences for young walkers.
While “doing” still dominates the life
of the toddler, the urge to share what
is happening begins to grow, and
although not yet verbal, the older
one-year-old child is clearly trying to
communicate. At a certain point the
babbling has a definite sentence-like
structure and syntax. Soon afterward,
single words and the art of naming
things arise and the vocabulary of the
child typically expands with greater
and greater rapidity near the second
birthday.
The child can play for short periods
of time with everyday objects with a
deep, reverential absorption. A ball can
become one of the greatest “Wonders
of the World,” as can a basket or a box
and putting things in and taking them
out again. A cloth used for variations of
peek-a-boo bring the child endless de-
light. A child is experiencing the physical
nature of things (for example, the size,
weight and texture of a ball) and also the
inner quality of things (for example, the
round, rolling essence of the ball). All of
the elements, but especially water and
different qualities of earth, are impor-
tant explorations for the one-year-old.
Being around adults who are involved
in purposeful activities with everyday
objects is also important. Children, even
those under the age of two, will imitate
the movement activities of their parents
or caretakers, such as sweeping.
There are three typical challenges
during this period of development.
The first is to find the balance between
keeping toddlers safe and allowing
them space to practice their newfound
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 The One-Year-Old Child

mobility. Peace of mind for parents can

be helped by “toddler-proofing” the
main areas of the house. Equally impor-
tant is the quality of attention paid to
the busy toddler. Not interrupting their
“meditation” on the world of things un-
less necessary requires us to be vigilant
from a distance and resist the tempta-
tion to admonish, praise or comment
constantly.
At the same time, having a low cup-
board in the kitchen that is accessible

Photo courtesy of Meg Fisher

to the child and filled with unbreak-
able containers can satisfy their urge
to “help with the cooking.” Having
a similar space in living and dining
rooms can also be helpful. Caring for
a toddler can be tiring and the main
caretaker needs a daily break, to walk
or work out, or just have time to him or
herself.
The second challenge is to understand
how best to support language acquisi-
tion. Parents can begin to worry if their
children do not begin to talk between
18 months and 2 years of age. While it
may be helpful to consult with a pediatri-
cian or speech therapist, the timing for
individual children varies considerably
and the range of normal development is
wider than once thought. Here are some
ways to support your child’s speech de-
velopment: Avoid speaking all the time
and leave space for your child to speak;
speak clearly and use simple language;
enjoy nursery rhymes together; avoid
lots of questions and choices.
The third challenge is to discern what
play objects and activities a one-year-
old really needs, given the abundance
of what is available. “Less is more” when
it comes to the one-year-old. At this
age the child is interested in ordinary
objects and will focus on one for several
days or a week and then move on to
another favorite item. So it is not neces-
sary to invest in a lot of specific toys. A
lightweight, large ball is attractive, as are
colorful squares of cloth, and objects
that make natural sounds. Make sure
that toddlers have plenty of experiences
with the elements (earth, water, air and
warmth) and have clothing suitable for
winter as well as summer excursions.
Introduce them to trees! “Hello, tree!”
The gift of life with a one-year-old is re-
learning to wonder at the world.
Links
J. Steegmans, “The First Three Years, Part I,” from
Cradle of a Healthy Life: Early Childhood and the Whole
of Life (WECAN 2012)
D. Udo de Haes, “The First Sense Impressions,” from
The Creative Word: The Young Child’s Experience of
Language and Stories (WECAN 2014)
Books
T. Atchison & M. Ris, eds., A Warm and Gentle
Welcome: Nurturing Children from Birth to Age Three
(WECAN 2008)
H. Heckmann, Nokken: A Garden for Children, 2nd
Edition (WECAN 2014)
S. Howard, ed., The Developing Child: The First Seven
Years (WECAN 2004)
J. Steegmans and G. Karnow, Cradle of a Healthy Life:
Early Childhood and the Whole of Life (WECAN 2012)
D. Udo de Haes, The Creative Word: The Young Child’s
Experience of Language and Stories (WECAN 2014)

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 Child Development Year by Year
The Two-Year-Old Child
While the one-year-old child enters the
world of walkers and begins to compre-
hend physical space, the two-year-old
enters the world of speech and lan-
guage and makes an initial foray into so-
cial life. Children first repeat what they
have heard others say and then practice
using those same words in a similar
situation. Affirmation by the speakers
around them helps them consolidate
their learning and soon they will be ver-
bally expressing themselves appropri-
ately in altogether new circumstances.
Development of language is a marvel-
ous process to witness. The personality
of the child emerges more clearly as
he or she begins to talk. Two-year-olds
delight in the sounds of words and take
new interest in books. They will talk to
and talk for their dolls, toys or other play
objects. At a certain point, they will ask
repeatedly, “Why?”
Along with language acquisition, two
other important developments occur
during the third year of a child’s life.
Parents will notice the first waking up
of the feeling life, not the vast ocean of
adolescent emotions or even the rolling
Photo courtesy of Gretchen Devinsky
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WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 8
waves of likes and dislikes of the 7-12
year-olds, but the clear emergence of a
much more assertive, “yes” or “no.” It is
also the case that the frustration at not
being able to fully communicate his or
her wishes, or not having them met,
may bring on whining, crying or even
full-blown tantrums. Conflict with play-
mates may also begin during this stage
of development.
The second important development,
sometime during the third year, occurs
when the child stops referring to him
or herself by name or in the third per-
son and says, “I.” This is a further step in
separation from the environment and
towards self-awareness that is necessary
for continued development and, in par-
ticular, for developing the initial capacity
for thinking that will show itself increas-
ingly once the child turns three.
The strong will of the young child com-
bined with the new “yes/no” conscious-
ness will bring parents daily challenges!
Being consistent with rhythms, allowing
enough time between activities, and
making transitions as playful as possible
will minimize the potentials for child or
parent melt-downs.
Avoid meeting the child’s “no” with
threats or bribes. Try saying, “When you
have put on your coat, we can go to the
park,” rather than saying, “If you don’t
put on your coat we are not going to the
park today;” or rather than saying, “If you
put on your coat now, we can stop at the
store and get some graham crackers to
take with us to the park.”
Use play and imagination to jolly your
toddler along. You could say, for ex-
ample, “Let’s put dolly in your pocket,
because she might like to go to the
park, too.” Another possibility would be,
“Let’s take the dump truck to the sand-
box; there might be some digging that
needs to be done.”
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“Do it myself!” Parents of two and three-
year-olds will hear this often. Having
hooks and shoe racks at child height will
help facilitate the desire to learn to dress
and undress and also establish the habit
of hanging up outer wear and tucking
shoes and boots tidily out of the way.
A specific challenge may be new
anxiety about separation from one or
both parents. This may seem to be a
regression, but is more likely related to
the child’s awakening feelings. Again,
consistency of routines before and after
the time apart is helpful. Also, “practic-
ing” separation for short periods of time
(10 or 15 minutes to start with) and
saying, “I will come back soon,” and then
extending the time apart gradually can
also be helpful. If parents are anxious
at the time of separation, then the child
will be as well. So, the most important
support for the child is the parents’ in-
ner state of trust and calm.
Difficulty going to bed or to sleep can
also be related to the child’s not wanting
to feel separate and the above sugges-
tions can be easily adapted for nap or
nighttime challenges. A predictable bed-
time ritual is especially important during
this period. A doll, a stuffed animal, or a
favorite blanket can be a great comfort
to the child in this and other new situ-
ations. Some children play with dolls,
imitating what they see parents do with
younger siblings, but for many children,
the doll represents an inner aspect of the
child’s self and provides the child with a
sense of companionship that allows him
or her to feel less alone in the journey.
At a certain point, the two-year-old
will say “why” many times a day. How
should a parent answer this question?
The child is learning the concept of a
question. Another commonly heard
question is, “What are you doing?” (This
may well be followed by “Why?”) The
child is not necessarily looking for an
For “Links” selections visit www.waldorfearlychildhood.org/family-child-development.php.
WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 9
The Two-Year-Old Child
Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Shabazi
answer, but is practicing forming a
question. You will naturally answer a
simple and concrete question. However,
if the question is related to more com-
plex phenomena, alternative responses
could be, “hmm,”“I wonder why” or
“because.” These will be much more
helpful than abstract, intellectual expla-
nations that the child is not yet ready
to cognize. An imaginative picture as
an explanation is more appropriate and
satisfying at this age. A simple affirma-
tion of the phenomena, such as “Yes, the
trees are dancing with the wind, “ may
also suffice.
The gift of life with a two-year-old
is the joy of communication and
companionship.
Links
T. Atchison, “Making Peace with Toddler Conflict,”
from A Warm and Gentle Welcome (WECAN 2008)
D. Udo de Haes, The Creative Word Chapters 9-11
(WECAN 2014)
Books
T. Atchison & M. Ris, eds., A Warm and Gentle
Welcome: Nurturing Children from Birth to Age Three
(WECAN 2008)
S. Howard, ed., The Developing Child: The First Seven
Years (WECAN 2004)
A.J. Solter, Tears and Tantrums: When Do Babies and
Children Cry (Shining State Press 1998)
D. Udo de Haes, The Creative Word (WECAN 2014)
9
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Photo courtesy of Motria Shuhan
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WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 10
Child Development Year by Year
The Three-Year-Old Child
The sky is not always blue for the child
approaching three. Clouds drift in and
out and the weather can be unpredict-
able, but the rays of sunlight that pierce
even the darkest days are brilliant. The
two-year-old claimed the world by nam-
ing it, but the three-year old
astounds us with the verbal
ability to express more and
more complex relationships.
Language has an inherent
order and logic that helps
the child develop the
capacity for thinking.
Thoughts first arise because
of speech and are expressed
through speaking. At a
certain point, outer speech
becomes inner speech and
then, thoughts begin to arise
ahead of speech. We could
say that movement brought
to stillness allows speech to
arise, and speaking brought
to stillness allows thinking
to arise.
Karl Koenig expressed this process in a
fairy tale picture. He called thinking the
sleeping beauty in the castle of the head
that is kissed awake by the ”I.” The ob-
jectification of the world that is required
for thinking is strengthened first by the
freedom that the child experiences in
uprightness and learning to walk, then
by the power of language to describe
things and relationships. The differentia-
tion between the self and everything
else culminates in the child’s saying, “I.”
The sense of self as separate is referred
to in developmental psychology as the
emergence of self.
The sense of oneness with everything
fades somewhat with the emergence
of self, but along with the capacity for
thinking comes the capacity for fantasy
Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America (WECAN)
or imagination. Imagination becomes
the basis for a new kind of play that may
have begun during the third year of life,
but comes into fuller bloom after the
third birthday.
Play was usually a solitary affair for the
one-year-old, and two-year-olds typi-
cally engage in what is called ”parallel
play,” but the three-year-old is genuinely
interested in interacting with other
children and in creating imaginative
scenarios taken from real life or the
world of stories. While adult help in
getting started or sorting out difficulties
may be required, three-year-olds slip
readily into imaginative play.
The three-year-old is also becoming
more confident physically and enjoys
challenging him or herself in new move-
ment activities. Even though the seeds
for the emotional/social life and for
thinking have already been planted by
the age of three, movement is still the
primary mode of learning for the child
before the age of seven. At any given
moment, it is likely that the three-year-
old may have a different plan or agenda
than that of the parent, and can be bold,
assertive and quite stubborn at home.
On the other hand, he or she can also be
sensitive, shy and reticent, especially in
new social situations, and in those situa-
tions will not want to be the visible focus
of attention.
Challenges for the parents of the
three-year-old:
Because of the child’s new capacities,
it can be tempting to over-stimulate
the three-year-old with intellectually
oriented activities. This can be a hidden
challenge for parents. Even asking
the child many questions and giving
them too many choices can tax their
forces and cause unnecessary stress.
Offering two equally good choices (for
clothing, food or activities) is much
more age appropriate than asking,
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”What would you like for breakfast?”
or “What would you like to do today?”
Objects for creative or dramatic play are
more essential and developmentally
appropriate than puzzles or specifically
designed teaching toys.
There are many media options de-
signed for young children around the
age of three. In Waldorf early child-
hood education, however, we recog-
nize the continuing critical importance
of three-dimensional experiences for
the child up to the age of seven. The
long-term benefits for future academic
success of supporting the develop-
ment of their imaginative capacities
and strengthening their will to stay
with and play out their inner “thought
pictures” has been well documented in
recent studies.
When is the right time to begin instruc-
tional classes or preschool? Again, play
is the key. Is the class or preschool play-
based? Are the instructors develop-
mentally aware and appropriate in their
approach? Too many different activities
in the course of a week can leave both
parent and child breathless.
Three-year olds are beginning to follow
the thread of stories and can grasp the
meaning of language that they would
not use themselves and this can be
enriching for them. The challenge with
this new capacity for comprehension
is that they may be frightened by scary
elements, especially if the story is not
being read or told by a trusted adult.
A wonderful activity to introduce
at this age is for a parent to tell the
child, ideally before nap or bedtime, a
story about the child’s day or a specific
incident from the day. This is helpful
for the child’s developing memory,
good practice in creativity for parents,
and can be a tender ending to the day.
Some children like to hear about them-
selves in the third person, while others
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WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 11
The Three-Year-Old Child
prefer to know already that the story
is about them. Stories about simple
everyday activities and excursions are
just as satisfying as “adventure stories”
for the three-year-old. All of life is still
an adventure.
This is the gift for the parents of the
three-year-old: finding the spirit of
adventure in everyday living.
Links
R. Long-Breipohl, “Thinking and the Consciousness
of the Young Child” from A Warm and Gentle Welcome
(WECAN 2008)
J. Steegmans, “The First Three Years, Part III” from
Cradle of a Healthy Life (WECAN 2012)
Books
T. Atchison & M. Ris, eds., A Warm and Gentle
Welcome: Nurturing Children from Birth to Age Three
(WECAN 2008)
H. Britz-Crecelsius, Children at Play: Using Waldorf
Principles to Foster Child Development (Inner
Traditions 1996)
S. Howard, ed., The Developing Child: The First Seven
Years (WECAN 2004)
S. Jenkinson, The Genius of Play: Celebrating the Spirit
of Childhood (Hawthorn Press 2003)
A. Kohn, Unconditional Parenting: Moving from
Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason (Atria
Books 2006)
N. Mellon, Storytelling with Children (Hawthorn Press
2013)
J. Steegmans and G. Karnow, Cradle of a Healthy Life
(WECAN 2012)
Photo courtesy of Children’s Garden of Thyme
11
9/20/17 1:09 PM
 Child Development Year by Year
The Four-Year-Old Child
The world of the four-year-old begins to
expand beyond home and the circle of
family. The most intriguing new territory
is social. Four-year-olds typically want
to be around other children, especially
if they do not have siblings. As a result
of their new experiences, they may well
“bring home” new behaviors and lan-
guage. Four-year-olds still need regular
rhythms and clear boundaries to give
them the sense of security out of which
to explore new areas and to counter in-
fluences that may not be consistent with
what is happening at home.
They can participate for longer periods
in structured activities, but still need
even longer periods of unstructured
time. They like to run, can walk longer
distances on their own two sturdy legs,
and may enjoy riding scooters or balance
bikes. The family may have already gone
on camping trips, but now the four-year-
old can be a fuller participant.
Four-year-olds are ready for more com-
plex stories and are particularly drawn
to animal tales, stories with rhymes and
repetition, and very simple fairy tales. In
Waldorf nursery and preschool classes
puppets are often used at story time,
which help the children to experience
the story more vividly.
Photo courtesy of Gretchen Devinsky
12 Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America (WECAN)
WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 12
While the two-year-old played primar-
ily with things and the three-year-old
moved those things around, the four-
year-old will still do both and add a
dramatic, imaginative element to his or
her play. Creative play, especially with
playmates, is what nourishes the child’s
development at this stage. Family life (of
both humans and animals), daily activi-
ties, and the overcoming of household
problems form the greater part of the
content of this play. Dramatic play rep-
resents a healthy means of processing
experiences that the child has witnessed
and also of integrating new learning.
Younger fours may need help negotiat-
ing differences among play partners and
finding “win-win” solutions. At this age,
inclusion is an important theme. “There
is room for everyone.”“Let’s make our
house bigger.” Helpful advice that adults
can offer or model to playmates is to
knock and ask, “May I please come in?” or
“I have brought you a present.”
Four-year-olds can be exuberant about
everything, especially at home. They
often need guidance in how to express
themselves in consideration of others.
While good manners may have been
modeled previously, making this a priority
at this stage is important. “Please,”“thank
you,”“excuse me,” and “I’m sorry” should
be family currency. The family meal is
the perfect time for social learning and
modeling care for others and practicing
appropriate mealtime conversation.
Predictability in the environment and
in daily rhythms were critical during the
earliest years and continue to be, but
now, clarity of expectations in social
situations is equally as critical for the
four-year-old child. Again, modeling is
the best way to teach good manners and
consideration of others. Long-winded
preaching falls on seemingly deaf ears.
Challenges for the parents of the four-
year-old may resemble those of the
9/20/17 1:09 PM

previous years and also include some
surprises, such as the new behaviors and
language learned outside the home or
from new playmates.
The increased capacity of the four-year-
old to focus may mean that transitions
become tricky again. Many of the sug-
gestions delineated in the description of
the two-year-old will still be helpful, but
parents will naturally need to adjust for
the increased language skills and other
capacities of the older child. Suggestions
about limiting choices given for three-
year-olds also hold for four-year-olds.
That the child’s cooperative spirit in other
settings is not always evident at home is
what might seem new and puzzling.
Parents may need to ask themselves if their
four-year-old has had enough unstruc-
tured, self-directed playtime during the
course of the day. This need can be well
supported by creating both indoor and
outdoor play areas that have an array of
open-ended play materials that invite
inventiveness and creativity. It may also be
that the child is looking for more flexibility
and playfulness in communications from
adults. That may be a tall order at the end
of a long workday, but if parents can find
the spark of inspiration, the results can be
very rewarding. Modeling good commu-
nication and negotiation between parents
or with older siblings can also be helpful in
building skills in cooperative living.
One expression that engenders social-
ness is “Let’s,” for example, “Let’s tidy
up together.” This takes the sting out of
the child’s having to stop their chosen
activity to do something that is neces-
sary for the good of the family. Another
expression that seems to work magically
is, “You may…(fill in the blank).” What is
being communicated here is that the
children are being allowed to participate
in something important, and doing so
is a privilege, especially if adults carry
the same feeling inwardly. Parents have
For “Links” selections visit www.waldorfearlychildhood.org/family-child-development.php.
WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 13
The Four-Year-Old Child
Green Meadow Waldorf School
found that both of these expressions
can be used very effectively for younger
children as well.
Potty talk, name-calling, and images
that are developmentally inappropriate,
whether from media or other sources,
may well find their way into the life of the
four-year-old. This requires a calm, even-
keeled response by family members.
Over-reacting will often escalate unwant-
ed behaviors. Firm and clear statements
beginning with, “In our family, we…
(fill in the blank)” are the most effec-
tive remedy. This requires considerable
self-discipline from parents, but is also an
unavoidable yet valuable opportunity to
clarify and communicate family values.
The gift of parenting a four-year-old is
the opportunity to clarify family values
and begin creating the family culture.
Links
L. deForest, ed., Tell Me A Story, Introduction
(WECAN 2013)
R. Long-Breipohl, Supporting Self-directed Play,
Chapters 1-3 (WECAN 2010)
Books
P. Bradley and B. Patterson, eds., Beyond the Rainbow
Bridge (Michaelmas Press, 2000)
L. deForest, ed., Tell Me A Story (WECAN 2013)
A. Faber and E. Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen&
Listen So Kids Will Talk (Scribner 2012)
A. Kohn, Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards
and Punishment to Love and Reason (Atria Books 2006)
R. Long-Breipohl, Supporting Self-directed Play
(WECAN 2010)
S. Oppenheimer, Heaven on Earth: A Handbook for
Parents of Young Children (Steiner Books 2006)
K.J. Payne, Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary
Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure
Kids (Ballantine Books 2010)
13
9/20/17 1:09 PM
 Child Development Year by Year
The Five-Year Old Child
The world of the five-year-old is a fairy
tale world. Imaginative play is now
inspired more by archetypal characters
and their adventures than by everyday
events. While five-year-olds live deeply
into their fantasy play, the tide of imagi-
nation often carries them quite grace-
fully along in ordinary life as well. They
are typically more adept and less easily
frustrated than during the previous year.
Photo courtesy of Meg Fisher
To understand this stage of develop-
ment, it is helpful to revisit the notion
of three distinct periods within the first
seven years. (See the introduction to
this series.) Between 4 1/2 and 5 years
of age, there is a shift towards “thinking-
willing.” The child’s thinking is beginning
to wake up during the last third of the
first seven-year cycle. This new capac-
ity allows five-year-olds to respond
not only to environmental stimuli, but
also to generate their own pictures and
ideas out of which to create and play.
The waking up in the head coincides
with increasing control of the limbs.
Five-year-olds enjoy participating in
14 Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America (WECAN)
WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 14
gardening, yard work, cooking, baking,
sweeping, sewing, simple woodworking,
laundry and dish washing. They are excit-
ed about participating, but will want to
do these tasks with adults or playmates
and will benefit from being guided in
setting up and following through with
tasks. This is, in fact, as it should be.
Observing or working alongside adults
helps them learn how to organize mate-
rials and create a logical process for the
task, in addition to enhancing their fine
and gross motor skills. They are physically
participating in our thinking processes.
Active fives may enjoy the challenge of
learning how to jump rope, scale a climb-
ing wall, or ride a bicycle.
Five-year-olds are quick and eager to
learn, but are not yet ready, physically
and psychologically, for long periods of
sitting at a desk or bookwork. They need
to be active and they delight in dress-
ing up in costumes and acting out their
beloved stories. The may show signs of
stress if their days are not balanced with
sufficient physical learning and opportu-
nities for creative, imaginative learning.
As they approach the age of six, chil-
dren’s play tends to become more goal-
oriented. In fact, they may occasionally
seem to have fallen out of the imagina-
tive stream. They may say that they are
bored. They may spend their playtime
talking and planning a game, but never
actually playing. The purposeful activities
described above can help them through
this “dry period” and also show them the
possibility of using their creativity in a
new way.
After such rich self-directed play, this
new stage can come as quite a surprise
for parents. The six-year-old will continue
to struggle with how to find his or her
new place in the real world, as we will see
in the following article.
A major challenge for parents of the five-
year-old comes from the outside world.
9/20/17 1:09 PM
 The Five-Year Old Child

Five-year-olds are openhearted prey and are thrilled to be able to engage in

for marketers and media. What the
media offers as soul nourishment to
children often resembles stereotypes
of humanity and human activity,
rather than true archetypes. Five-
year-olds are more aware of gender
differences and these images can have
a strong influence that may need to
be countered by family values. Is the
humor to which they are exposed
healthy and goodnatured or is it is it
an art or craft with a parent.
The gift of parenting the five-year-old
is the intimate sharing of both work
and play that is the basis of our life in
community.
Links
Joan Almon, “The Healing Power of Play” from
Waldorf Early Childhood Education: An Introductory
Reader, S. Honigblum., ed. (WECAN 2017)
R. Long-Breipohl, Supporting Self-directed Play
Chapters 1-3 (WECAN 2010)

mean-spirited and insensitive to others? Books

Parents need to be conscious of giving
their children ideals that inspire rather
than limit their future sense of self and
their capacity for empathy.
Five-year-olds are interested in stories
about their parents when they were
growing up. For both parent and child,
bringing back and re-enlivening memo-
ries can be both enjoyable and an
opportunity for parents to share their
views of life and learning. If the tradition
of parentcreated tales (see The Three-
Year-Old Child) has continued, stories
will now involve more potential danger
and a spirit of adventure, and will con-
tain life lessons, without a moralizing
tone, of course.
A further challenge is related to our
modern lifestyle. Do parents have suf-
ficient time to engage in the purposeful
activities that are so healthy for the will
and sensory development of their chil-
dren? Parents may not have time for all
of the activities listed above, but being
aware of their importance and choos-
ing some to incorporate into the family
rhythm can bring a creative element
to life at home. Conscious care of the
world of things builds habits that are
B. Patterson and P. Bradley, eds., Beyond the Rainbow
Bridge (Michaelmas Press, 2000)
A. Faber and E. Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
& Listen So Kids Will Talk (Scribner 2012)
F. Jaffke, Work and Play in Early Childhood (Floris
Books 1996)
A. Kohn, Unconditional Parenting: Moving from
Rewards and Punishment to Love and Reason
(Atria Books 2006)
R. Long-Breipohl, Supporting Self-directed Play
(WECAN 2010)
N. Mellon, Storytelling with Children (Hawthorn
Press 2013)
S. Honigblum, ed., Waldorf Early Childhood Education:
An Introductory Reader (WECAN 2017)
S. Oppenheimer, Heaven on Earth: A Handbook for
Parents of Young Children (Steiner Books 2006)
K.J. Payne, Simplicity Parenting: Using the
Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier,
and More Secure Kids (Ballantine Books, 2010)
Photo courtesy of Meg Fisher

applicable to future academic success

and social skills.
Do parents have a passion or skill that
they can share with their children?
Children look with respect and
admiration at expertise and creativity

For “Links” selections visit www.waldorfearlychildhood.org/family-child-development.php. 15

WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 15 9/20/17 1:09 PM


Photo courtesy of Gretchen Devinsky
16
WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 16
Child Development Year by Year
The Six-Year-Old Child
Even before a child’s
sixth birthday, parents
may begin to notice
some surprising
changes. Six-year-olds
may exhibit a new
kind of restlessness,
may become sud-
denly clumsy or inde-
cisive, and are often
resistant and argu-
mentative. They ap-
pear to be testing the
established boundar-
ies with new vigor. It
may be more accurate
to say, however, that
they are really testing
their new selves.
Thinking is begin-
ning to awaken in the
last one-third of the
first seven-year cycle of development,
(See the Introduction to this series). If
we remember this and we realize how
powerful thinking can be, we can imag-
ine that the child’s accustomed way of
being in the world could be thrown into
chaos. The six-year-old is exploring this
new capacity of thinking and trying to
integrate it with what is more familiar
and comfortable, and in the process,
everything has to be reorganized!
Ideas are emerging and the six-year-old
may strongly identify with an idea as
“my idea,” and ride it like a wave toward
a growing sense of independence. Par-
ents are no longer the constant center
around which the six-year-old revolves,
but the child is becoming his or her own
center. In the same vein, six-year-olds
also tend to exaggerate and want to do
things that they are not yet able to do.
At the same time, six-year-olds are
more sensitive and vulnerable than
Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America (WECAN)
indicated by their outward behavior,
especially when their ideas do not
bear anticipated fruit. They can be silly,
emotionally volatile, easily fall apart,
or have trouble completing a given
task. They may need to talk about what
happened to them during the day at
meal times or before bed.
They need, above all, to be recognized as
the same child, yet NOT the same child
as they once were. They need us to see
them with fresh eyes and be sensitive
and understanding of the transformation
that they are undergoing. This does not
mean that parents should let go of their
expectations and boundaries. It means
that we need to hold on to them in a dif-
ferent way.
Because of their increased capacity for
mental picturing, six-year-olds are ready
for chapter books, like Winnie-the-Pooh
or Mother West Wind and other Stories
by Thornton Burgess. The humor and pa-
thos of these characters and their stories
are warmly comforting and ring true for
the six-year-old.
Many six-year-olds actually seem to
embrace and play with the chaotic
element of this developmental reor-
ganization. This can be difficult for the
rest of the family. How we respond can
make a difference in how gracefully and
quickly they move through this period of
change.
The main challenge for the parents of
the six-year-old is how to keep an even
keel and a steady hand on the tiller of
family life while in the uncharted and
choppy waters of this period, often called
“the first adolescence.”
As already mentioned above, unquali-
fied acceptance of and real interest in
the emerging aspects of the six-year-old
will mean that he or she does not need
to keep raising the “notice-me flag”
over and over again. Six-year-olds also
9/20/17 1:09 PM
 The Six-Year-Old Child

need protection from their self-initiated new phase of development that begins
chaos. By upholding the consistency around the seventh year.
of their expectations, parents provide
dependable ballast that can mitigate
the child’s feeling of upheaval.
Six-year-olds will cooperate if they are
given simple, appropriate reasons for
doing so; if requests are communicated
with a good dose of humor; if decisions
are framed so that they are not an either/
or or a yes/no situation. Generally speak-
ing, direct confrontation is not usually
an effective strategy. Six-year-olds need
some breathing space to process the
situation and to feel that they are coop-
erating out of their own will.
Keeping a positive attitude, although
not easy, will help both parent and child
navigate more successfully. Modeling the

Photo courtesy of Holly Koteen-Soulé

behavior and communications that we
want our six-year-olds to choose is still
incredibly important.
Finding appropriate channels for the
increased energy levels and restlessness
is also helpful. Six-year-olds are duly
impressed with skills of adults in home-
making, building, crafts and gardening
activities. All of the purposeful activities
that were suggested for the five-year-old
Links
still hold keen interest for the six-year-
J. Almon, “First Grade Readiness,” from First Grade
old. The six-year-olds, however, are more Readiness (Second Edition) (WECAN 2009)
capable and will be able to do more on N. Blanning, “Seeing the Wholeness of the Child”
their own than when they were five and from You’re Not The Boss of Me! Understanding the Six/
will respond well if the adults with whom Seven-Year-Old Transformation (WECAN 2007)

they are working notice their increased
skills. Time outside in nature is also a
healing and helpful influence during this
period of development.
The gift of parenting a six-year-old is
the strengthening of one’s own calm
center in order to support your child as
he or she navigates the changes that
herald the end of the first seven-year
cycle of growth and development. You
may begin to notice a calming down
after 6 1/2 , as your child consolidates
these changes and prepares for the
R. Ker, “Observations of the Six-Year-Old Change,”
ibid.
Books
N. Blanning, ed., First Grade Readiness (Second
Edition) (WECAN 2009)
R. Ker, ed., You’re Not the Boss of Me! Understanding
the Six/Seven-Year-Old Transformation (WECAN 2007)
R. Louv, Children and Nature: Making Connections
(The Myrin Institute 2014)
M. Rawson & M. Rose, Ready to Learn: From Birth to
School Readiness (Hawthorne Books 2002)

For “Links” selections visit www.waldorfearlychildhood.org/family-child-development.php. 17

WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 17 9/20/17 1:09 PM

 Child Development Year by Year
The Seven-Year-Old
Transformation
The child’s first developmental period
ends and the second begins around the
child’s seventh birthday. Many of the
changes that were mentioned in con-
nection with the six-year-old signal the
shift from the first to the second cycle
of seven years. In the second seven-year
cycle development moves from the pre-
dominance of the will to the predomi-
nance of feelings, imagination and social
life. It is also the beginning of learning
about the world from a beloved author-
ity rather than through imitation.
In Waldorf education we speak about
the first seven years as the period of
time during which the child “takes hold”
of his or her physical body. This “taking
hold of” gesture includes the change
of teeth. The emphasis on teeth comes
Photo courtesy of Gretchen Devinsky
18 Waldorf Early Childhood Association of North America (WECAN)
WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 18
from the understanding of teeth as the
hardest part of the physical body. While
the baby teeth are a part of the child’s
inherited body, the six-year-old molars
are the result of the child’s own activity.
The new permanent teeth indicate that
the process of taking hold of the body is
nearing its completion.
With the eruption of the child’s perma-
nent teeth, some of the growth forces
active in the first seven years, also called
the life or etheric forces, are now avail-
able for creating on another level, in the
area of imagination and mental images.
These are the forces required for ab-
stract learning and memory.
From physiology, we know that all of our
cells are replaced every seven years. The
birth of the child’s life body is the result
of the child’s taking hold of his or her
physical body during the first seven years
of life. Once the child has taken hold of
his or her physical body and some of
the growth forces are freed up for other
creative functions, the child has gained
his or her own “protective garment,” usu-
ally referred to as the life body or etheric
body. Waldorf educators recognize this
freeing of some of the creative forces
from activities of growth and mainte-
nance, at around seven years of age, as
a sign of the birth of the child’s own life
body or etheric body. Prior to this subtle
“birth,” the child has lived in the “womb-
like” protection of the family life.
One visible sign that seven-year-olds are
undergoing significant change is their
passion for skipping and jumping. While
the child at the beginning of the first
seven-year cycle conquered gravity by
standing upright, now the child is using
gravity to launch him or herself heav-
enward. We could say that the caterpil-
lar is becoming a butterfly! During the
seventh year, the child is trying out his
or her transformed physical, social/emo-
tional, and intellectual capacities.
9/20/17 1:09 PM

Parents of the seven-year-old will notice
their child’s new capacity for learning
and independence, even though they
may occasionally see moments of hesi-
tation and even regressive behaviors in
their child. The seven-year-old change
means change for parents, as well. It
means being sensitive as to when to
step forward and when to step back.
It means recognizing when we might be
hanging on to our children, rather than
letting them move forward. It means
finding new ways to offer support now
that our child has entered a new cycle
of development.
The gift of life with a seven-year-old
is learning to let go enough for your
child to sense your confidence in him
or her, and at the same time, staying
in touch enough to know when more
support is needed.
Photo courtesy of Green Meadow Waldorf School © Mark Saunders
For “Links” selections visit www.waldorfearlychildhood.org/family-child-development.php.
WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 19
The Seven-Year-Old Transformation
Links
N. Blanning, “Seeing the Wholeness of the Child”
in You’re Not The Boss of Me! Understanding the Six/
Seven-Year-Old Transformation (WECAN 2007)
J. Almon, “First Grade Readiness” in First Grade
Readiness (WECAN 2009)
N. Foster, “Some Guidelines for First Grade
Readiness,” ibid.
Books
N. Blanning, ed., First Grade Readiness (WECAN 2009)
R. Ker, ed., You’re Not the Boss of Me! Understanding
the Six/Seven-Year-Old Transformation (WECAN 2007)
K.J. Payne and Lisa Ross, Simplicity Parenting
(Ballantine Books 2010)
J. Petrash, Navigating the Terrain of Childhood (Nova
Institute Publishing 2004)
19
9/20/17 1:09 PM
 From the Waldorf Early Childhood Association
of North America, a series of concise, friendly
discussions tracing child development in
the first seven years of life and how Waldorf
education meets the child at each stage.
Age-appropriate play is explored, along with
guidelines on gently supporting the child
through early childhood at home and at school.

Edited by Holly Koteen Soulé

Child Development Year by Year is also available as an online resource.
“Links” referenced herein can be read and downloaded at
www.waldorfearlychildhood.org/family-child-development.php.

For more information about Waldorf Early Childhood Education

and resources available from WECAN, please contact us:

Cover photo courtesy of Rebecca Ruof

285 Hungry Hollow Road

Spring Valley, NY 10977
845-352-1690
info@waldorfearlychildhood.org
www.waldorfearlychildhood.org

This publication was made possible by a grant from the Waldorf Education Foundation.

WECAN_ChildDevel_Year-by-Year_final.indd 20 9/20/17 1:09 PM