Life is Better When You Have an

Attitude of Gratitude
2019/12/12

We have all probably had someone tell us as kids to be “grateful

for what you’ve got”, and the idea of “giving thanks” has been
taught in churches and schools for years.

But in the world of coaching gratitude is more than just giving thanks,
it is an intentional practice, one that is backed by scientific research
and an ever increasing awareness of the benefits of an ‘attitude of
gratitude’.
Source: Audio extracted from ICA’s Module ‘Gratitude’

Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy

and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a
leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the
link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that
gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.

And gratitude increases mental strength. For years, research has

shown gratitude not only reduces stress, but it may also play a major
role in overcoming challenging life events. Recognizing all you have to
be thankful for – even during the toughest times of your life – fosters
resilience.

The idea that gratitude was something one could “choose” to develop
really began around the same time as Positive Psychology took off.

Positive psychology is the ‘scientific study of optimal human

functioning [that] aims to discover and promote the factors that allow
individuals and communities to thrive’. - Martin Selgman

Unlike traditional psychology, positive psychology is less focused on

the problems a client has and less concerned with digging back into
the past to resolve them.  Rather it is more focused on how general
happiness and well being can be improved. As a field it can be
described as ‘the scientific study of happiness.’
It is within this context then that gratitude began to get attention.
Researchers and practitioners alike saw that by adopting gratitude
practices, a person’s happiness and satisfaction could be measurably
improved.

The Benefits of Gratitude

There are many benefits of gratitude, and several scientific studies to

back them up. The Happier Human website lists 30 benefits,
including:

 Strengthening emotions
 Improving sleep
 Reducing a focus on materialism (and increasing a focus on
spiritualism)
 Reducing feelings of envy
 Improving productivity

Source: https://www.happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/

There is also evidence to suggest that an intentional practice of

gratitude can change the brain by affecting the hypothalamus, which
is the part of our brain that regulates bodily functions like our
appetites, sleep, temperature, metabolism and growth. And like most
things that affect the brain, it can also be addictive – which is good
news for those people who groan at the thought of keeping a
Gratitude Journal.

Like many things that are good for us, it seems that deliberate focus
and daily practice of gratitude can eventually create a desire to
continue, even if we were reluctant to begin with  The article “Health
Benefits of Gratitude: 6 Scientifically Proven Ways Being Grateful
Rewires Your Brain + Body for Health”  by Conciouslifestylemag.com
talks about the effect Gratitude can have on the brain, and highlights
some of the main benefits.

Elements of Gratitude

1. GENEROSITY
A natural extension of gratitude is generosity. Grateful people
notice the contribution of others to their success. They see when
others are behaving at their best and, when others make
 mistakes, they look behind the mistake to the other person’s
intent. They give others “the benefit of the doubt”. They so
clearly see the “gifts” that others give them that they
automatically want to give something back. 

Generosity is about dynamic exchange, the act of giving and of

receiving. In giving you create a dynamic exchange in that you
also open yourself up to receiving. Giving creates confidence in
giving. The more you receive the more you will give.

2. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
One of the most powerful strategies is acknowledgement. By
acknowledging how far you have come, you not only encourage
yourself to strive further, but you actually force yourself to stop,
recognize and enjoy the wonderful things that you have
achieved. Reflect for a moment and recognize the positive
things in your life and the things that you have done to make
these things happen. Acknowledge others around you.
3. POSITIVITY
Most coaches have heard about the story of the 2 wolves. It is a
story attributed to native American origins and tells the tale of a
grandfather using a metaphor of two wolves. The wolves
represent his inner conflicts are fighting within him. When his
grandson asks which wolf wins, the grandfather answers
whichever he chooses to feed.

A metaphor often used to demonstration that in life is that we

have both negative and positive experiences, both negative and
positive thoughts (https://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/).
The thoughts and experiences we get more of are most likely
the ones we focus on or give attention to. Gratitude is a great
tool to help us focus on the positive thoughts and experiences.

4. APPRECIATION
Noticing and being appreciative of what you already have in life,
or what you haven’t had to endure can also be great vehicles of
gratitude. Sheryl Sandberg talks about the death of her husband
Dave. They were on holidays in Mexico and he died suddenly
and unexpectedly from cardiac arrest whilst working out at the
gym.
One day my friend Adam Grant, a psychologist, suggested that I think
about how much worse things could be. This was completely
counterintuitive; it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find
positive thoughts. “Worse?” I said. “Are you crazy? How could things
be worse?” His answer cut straight through me: “Dave could have had
that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.”
Wow. The moment he said it, I felt overwhelming gratitude that my
family was alive. That gratitude overtook some of the grief.  Sheryl
Sandberg, The Boston Globe

There is not a whole lot written about grief and gratitude but there
are select articles that demonstrate the role it can play and helping
someone grieve. It seems that by turning the focus, even just for small
moments each day, on positive thoughts and feelings around the
bereaved person the days can be easier and resilience can be
developed.

Coaching Application

Gratitude is especially key for coaches because in addition to any

specific goals a client might come to us with, we are ultimately
employed to support clients to enhance their happiness, productivity
and life satisfaction. We also have a powerful role to play in
supporting our clients to not only have a better life but to love the life
they have.

Highly grateful people have a worldview in which everything they have

and life itself is a gift—this leads to a different interpretation of
experience: not taking things for granted, not getting used to positive
conditions.  Robert Emmons, quoted in The New Republic

The adoption of Gratitude as a practice,  or even as a world view as

Robert Emmons suggests, can help us achieve both these outcomes
for our clients. We can support them to increase their happiness, and
at the same time we can help them appreciate the happiness they
already have (but might not recognize)