Script For Presentation

*A detective’s interrogation room. A Tuesday evening on 15 th April 2022. There are two detectives
going through files sat at a table, opposite them in a restrained gentleman wearing a waistcoat and a
bow tie. He has been arrested after a body was found in the bathrooms of the West-End Theatre.
She was found with a prop knife sticking out of her back.*

Detective 1: I hope you’re comfortable Mr Cobb, I see you didn’t get a chance to change from your
uniform. *Gestures to Mr Cobb*

Mr Cobb: *Straightens bow tie and pats down front*oh yes, us ushers need to look smart and
approachable on the Job. You don’t want to look sloppy and unapproachable do you? The audience
would be discusted. But as long as I've got my buttons. You know we call them our gumdrop buttons
at work?

Detective 1: *Ignores him* Do you know why you’re here today Mr Cobb?

Mr Cobb: *Sweats nervously* I-I know that Miss Christine Adler was found dead in the bathrooms
Sir.

Detective 1: And did you know Miss Adler well, Mr Cobb?

Mr Cobb: Oh yes, Miss Adler was a regular at our theatre, I knew her well.

Detective 2: Is it your job to know all the regulars Mr HobNob?

Detective 1: Excuse my partner, what is it that you do exactly Mr Cobb?

Mr Cobb: well I’m an usher, I ush. I’m responsible for customer service before, during and after a
performance.

Detective 1: Does this mean you would’ve shown Miss Adler to her seat?

Detective 2: Or to the bathroom in which she was found dead?

Mr Cobb: *Looks between the two detectives, terrified.*

Detective 1: Answer the question Mr Cobb.

Mr Cobb: I showed her to her seat and sold her a refreshment But I don’t see what that has to do
with--.

Detective 1: *Stacks papers* Talk us through your day to day activities. Start from the beginning of
the evening.

Mr Cobb: Well I get to work around 6.30pm ,earlier on some days if its a longer show, but then I got
on my uniform to look presentable for the guests. At 7.00pm I welcome them in in the foyer,
including Miss adler and offer refreshments, programs or souvenirs whilst checking tickets. Then at
7.15 i go the the auditorium and show people to their seats and tell them where the fire exits are.

Detective 2: Big man like you must engage a lot of disputes?

Mr Cobb: *Stutters* O-O-Occasionally There was this one time where a woman got in without a
ticket and when I asked to see it she climbed out of the 2 nd story window, true story.
Detective 2: Bet you don’t get paid enough for that your poor scallywag.

Mr Cobb: Well when I first started ushering at 18 I worked in a small opera house but then the head
usher said I had excellent communicative skills with the public so he appointed me here. You see as
an usher you have to be able to take orders and work as a team. I got special commendation for my
physique and ability to climb up and down auditorium stairs to settle disputes. And I started on 12
hour weeks in the opera house for only £5 an hour and now I work 30 hour weeks at £12.50 an hour.
I’ve always loved being in the theatre--

Detective 2: *Slams hand on table* IRRELEVANT!

Detective 1: *Clears throat* That is an irrelevant information Mr Cobb, we’ll ask the questions, you
answer straight, no tangents okay?

Mr Cobb: *nods*

Detective 1: Where were you at 8:26 in the evening?

Mr Cobb: I-I was on my 15 minute break, eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

Detective 1: And were you alone?

Mr Cobb: *Swallows nervously* I escorted her to the bathroom but I promise I left right after, I had
nothing to do with it I swear --

Detective 2 : 15 minutes... Gives you just enough time to bury a knife in Miss Adler’s neck and flee
the scene of the crime.

Detective 1: Are you often alone as an usher Mr Cobb, or do you tend to work with others?

Mr Cobb: there are 10 of us in total but only 6 of us were working that evening but we all get given
different jobs, Some of us man the door, others hand out snacks for the audience whilst the rest
show the guests to their seats. It was just this once I was on my break alone.

Detective 1: So does this mean you don’t have an alibi?

Detective 2: Bet no one would give an alibi to theatre scum like you anyway!

Mr Cobb: *Slams hand son table* I beg your pardon

Detective 2: *pulls back, satisfied that he’s riled the anxious man at last* You talkin to me? You talkin
to us? There only two of us here.

Detective 1: *Waits for the room to calm down* Would you like a cup of tea Mr Cobb?

Mr Cobb: Yes please.

Detective 1: *Leans back to the door, gesturing to an unseen character* Sugar?

Mr Cobb: Two please.

Detective 2: *Sneeringly* Milk?

Mr Cobb: No thank you I’m lactose intolerant.

Detective 2: *halts in his tracks, facial expression changes subtly.* Tell me Finneus, can I call you
Finneus?
Mr Cobb: My name’s Kevin.

Detective 2: IRRELEVANT! THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION! Now, Mr Hobb, where do you see
yourself in ten years time? Crew member? Technician? Security officer?

Mr Cobb: I-I'd like to become security manager, but first I need to get more experienced working
front of house so maybe head usher one day.

Detective 2: And was Miss Adler in the way of this? *Pulls out files* I have it on record here that miss
Adler was having an affair with the General Manager of the Theatre Company, who also happens to
be in charge of your career that you so ambitiously dream of?

Mr Cobb: *Pales*

Detective 1:*Sips tea*

Detective 2: And I have on multiple witness accounts that you had many confrontations with Miss
Adler at the theatre on her many visits?

Mr Cobb: I--

Detective 2: If she didn’t like you, and if she was whispering in the ear of the man who was in charge
of your dreams? She was a threat. And if she attended so regularly, why would she need to know
where the bathroom was?

Detective 1: Answer the question Mr Cobb.

Detective 2: Why did she need to know where the bathroom was? *shouts* You took Miss Adler to
that bathroom so you could kill her because that’s what you wanted to do! When you were there,
you cut this girl up, you buried a knife in her neck! You wanted her dead!

Detective 1: Calm Down!

Detective 2: *Reaches over and grabs the shirt*

Mr Cobb: NOT THE BUTTONS NOT THE GUM DROP BUTTONS!

Detective 2: TELL US THE TRUTH! TELL US THE TRUTH!

Mr Cobb: You can’t handle the truth!

Detective 1: If you are lactose intolerant, how were you eating ben and jerries? *Mr Cobb doesn’t
answer* I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse, confess now, your sentence will be lighter.

Mr Cobb: That sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How about I give you a
card that puts you forward for volunteering as an usher at the exeter phoenix theatre on gandy
Street. You don’t get paid but you get free drinks and refreshments.