SimpleLifeBalancing

helps people from all kinds of different background how to start balancing their lives in a simple way.

The Rational Male NOTES

The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi

One day, I was talking with a friend about relationship dynamics between men and women. And, he sent me a
video about a “men” conference. A bunch of man together talking about relationships. The more they talked
the more I was intrigued. It surprised me how men don’t usually talk about those things. The guest speak
(Rollo Tomassi) ask and answer questions. His logic is very controversial, but it made sense. This lead me to
look at his work and stumble upon the 3 books: “The Rational Male”.

After reading Book 1 and 2, I feel that dynamic between men and women should’ve been taught to us very
early, so we know how to deal with it. I also feel that it’s not advantageous for women to teach men about it,
so they keep it quiet. Nevertheless, with the rise of Internet, nothing can stop information sharing.

See below some notes I took while reading the book.

Notes: “The Rational Male” Book I

The rational male mentality:

Hypergamy: Women look for men to breed kids

Men’s goal: Open to bang any woman available

Never apologize for your actions (stand for what you believe)

e.g.: sex advances

Self deprecation: Never complaint about your beta situation (pity vs potential): talk about your growth (sell
your potential)
Don’t focus on your lack of experience, focus on your strong desire, never talk about your past sex
experience. Dodge it.
“Sex is never worth the wait.”
“The person who need the other the less has most power.”
Never negotiate love.
Women will break rule for the alpha and add rules for the betas.
Women show love through genuine desire to be with you

(Sex, join your frame, find time for you,etc)

“Dinner = relationship, drink = sex”

Men’s goal: unlimited sex at any given moment

Importance of man tribe:

Women = face to face talk

Men = do something talk

Alpha me: bang women

Personality:

busy chasing my goals (no complaining)

Busy enjoying life (no victimized)
Not nice to girls, say what I want to say
Be stupid and confident (no filter)

Mindset:

High risk (damage friendship), High reward (unlimited sex)

Not talk about FWB until bang once.
Who? Acquaintance, new girls. Not friend

Action-passive: Improve your SMV

6 packs, No acne, make-up, clothes

Speak with confidence

Action-Active:

meet new girls

Ask to go for a drink
Dirty talk

Notes:

Genuine desire > obligation

Women never want full disclosure. They prefer imagination and guessing.
Competition anxiety. (Losing you to other girls)
Idea of compensation: if you lack genetics, you need something else to compensate. (PUA skills mask your
deficit.)
Unplugged: People criticize you not being « yourself », they don’t see your genuine desire to change.
Every sexual competitor seeks to disqualify their rivals from breeding opportunities.
Your definition of alpha based on your beta condition could not be the real « Alpha ».
Spinning plates vs exclusivity (implied not declared)
Women shit test: confidence, options (into her or only options), security provider.
Abundance thinking
Women shit test: Friendzone + BF disclaimer (solution = walk away)
To be a “man” has become synonymous with living up to a feminine imperative “masculine honour”. “Do-
the-right-thing” conditioning
Limitation friendship man and women: it becomes a liability when you want to chase your dream guy/girl
Shit test: beta will do w/e women wants; alpha have it their own ways
Women by nature cannot appreciate a man’s sacrifice.

“You’re supposed to.” Feminine excuse.

(Have the man work to make her ideal relationship come true.)
Strategy: Build your tower and have women find you
Need focus on your goals. You say « no » to her for your goals , shows authority. Your goals become «  the
other woman » she has to compete with for attention.
Before commitment, Women urgency for sex because they fear to lose the men from other competition.
Need to have the men’s approval.

Sex = easy way. Qualification sex.

After commitment, women use sex as reward. Utility sex.

Vagina = authority. Men obey women to-do list hoping women become as sexually active as before.
Upper hand: subtly let women know her sex doesn’t dictate your actions. Become best version of yourself.

Eg. Gym, look sexy, attractive to other women, increase competition anxiety
Pussy card: Don’t let her vagina be the authority of the relationship. Women need and want to be told “NO”.
(If he says “no” with the knowledge that he won’t get any sex, the sexual power is devalued.) + competition
anxiety
“Nothing is as simultaneously fear inspiring and arousing for women as a Man she suspects is self-aware of
his own value.” – Being a commodity women will compete for
Just be yourself BS:

(1) remove mystery from men.

(2) LTR women go from JustBeYourself to “I’m working on him” to be the men I want him to be
“We only perceive some as fake, trying to be sb they are not, when we have knowledge of their previous
set of personality. »

(easier to meet new people than convince friends of your change.

Beta game: “brainwashed by women to be the best provider” side with the girl vs picking up girls
Dread: women fear of security loss. Provoke imagination (gym, new clothes, travel, break the routine, etc)

“When a women wants to fuck you, she will find a way to fuck you.“

Women enjoy the communication more than the information being transferred.
Genuine desire can’t be negotiated. The moment you tell your girlfriend that you will exchange a
behaviour/attitude/compromise for her desire, you fundamentally change her organic desire into
obligation.

(Ask women how to please her, if she explains it to you, it kills the genuineness And validity of you
becoming so.)

(e.g.: she wants you to be dominant, if she explains you how to do it and you do it. It’s not genuine anymore.)
If masculinity has to be explain to a man, he is not the man for her.
Women never want full disclosure. Communicate with your behaviour. Never overtly tell a women anything.
Allow her to come to the conclusions you intend. Self-satisfying for women when they think they figured
out a man based on her feminine intuition.
Social conventions to place women at the top:

(1) shame (« men are afraid of successful women »; shallow to not date single mothers)

(2) scarcity mentality in men (getting lucky with women when referring to sex) ;impossible to understand
 women

(3) gossip to disqualify potential sexual competitor (she is a slut; he is a fck boy)
If men criticized women, women will say “he isn’t getting laid that’s why he is frustrated.” Women try to stop
men from logically analyzing them.
Women expect and can’t genuinely appreciate men’s sacrifice to make their reality true.
Ability to cut former emotional ties faster than man
Pluralistic strategy: depending on situation/environment women look for short-term and long term.
(Women are selective slut.)
“Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his
own value to women.”
“Discomfort is part of understanding; truth is supposed to make you uncomfortable in order to inspire you
to take action.”

Iron rule’s of Rollo Tomassi:

Rule #1: She has to go into your frame

Rule #2: Not disclose your past experience
Rule #3: Sex is not worth the wait.
« Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiations.”
Sex first date = thirsty for your body
Sex date 2-3 = bf/gf
After date 3, no action = gg
Rule #3: « never live with a woman you aren’t married » (remove competition anxiety, she control the
frame.)
« Men who are spinning plates, men with options, men with ambition, rarely see cohabitation as anything
but a limiting hindrance on their lives.” 
Rule #4 : never allow a women to be in control of birth (use condom,)
Rule #6: women are incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be love.
Men love for the sake of love. Women love opportunistically.
Rule #7: Better spent time /energy developing relationship with new women than attempting to fix old one
Healthy relationships are founded on genuine mutual desire, not a list of negotiated terms and obligations.
Rule 8: never self deprecate
Lonely man myth: Get quickly in LTR. (1) Fear of solitude (2) do the right thing (3) buffer « if I am with a girl, I
can’t get rejected » (get married quick before it’s too late) marriage is no insulation from the marketplace.
Men are more sexual than women because of testosterone level (17x more).
“Women don’t want a man to cheat, but they love a Man who could cheat.”
“Women’s greatest fear is that they could become the ‘selected’ instead of the ‘selectors.’
Double standard equalism: “Hate your masculinity, but be held responsible for not ‘being man enough’ to
solve uniquely male problems, then be shamed when masculinized women steps in to do so and then be
ridiculed for not being as masculine as she is.

Women’s Age and what they look for in a partner:

14-24 y/o: looks

 25-30 y/o: looks + (ambition, asset, character, humour, personality)
30-35 y/o: asset, status, game, personality > looks
35-45 y/o: tigress, looks, gg life , look for divorce people

What’s your strength? (Make a list)

Physically big, touchy escalate

Language: Mandarin flirt nice
lots of life experience abroad
KTV
Deep talk
Creating event
Basic: good looking, job, live alone downtown,

What’s your weakness in dating?

Not enough experience at flirt talk, touching, being bad

Beta habits

Set up date shit test: “how to pass women shit test if you date her because of her value or because you only
have her as an options.

Set a date: Her answer :“I will let you know” => You try again in 3 weeks
On the same day, she tried to change the time: “testing if you value your time”=> You say it’s 7pm or let’s
try some other time (value your time)
She comes late: you have to say something about it.

e.g.: “First round of shot is on you.”

“I hate late people, I hate wasting time.”

She likes something. If you genuinely don’t like it, say it. Don’t be “it’s not too bad”. She will try to get you
try it again. Don’t do it. She is trying to change you into the person she thinks she likes.
She comments on your clothes. Where did you buy this coat.

“Give answer = wrong, get defensive= wrong.”

Need to joke about it.

She becomes quiet.

Wrong = start to talk more.

Right= enjoy the silence

Action 1: Improve your flirting

Build your tower (increase SMV) and attract women to you.

Keep increasing your SMV => Create competition anxiety

Action 2: Improve your flirting

Mandarin:
 抱抱？ 过来给我按摩按摩。
想我吗？
小哥哥不满足. 人家生气啦
来吃我的巧克力腹肌
*摸摸头
终于到家喽、可以脱下衣服
可能有蛮多小哥哥来追你啊
别抱怨、抱我。
胸那么大、怕我的胸比你大
你喜欢男生对你做什么？哪里呢？
怎么偷你的心呢？
那么凶、讨厌、 吓死宝宝、
你吹的时候看不看对方眼睛
一直在床上等你回来
Say things with 2 meanings: 老司机、你有经验、 你做了几次呢、 （睡觉、洗澡、等等）跟谁？ 合适你的口
味、练习撩* （聊天）。自己做吗、喜欢下还是上、玩具，声音／呻吟＊
Punish her for bad behaviour: not texting 人家不开心、 快处罚

General:

Ask what clothes she was wearing today

Talk about her profile pic
Joke about sexual things (eat Nutella of dick)
Push to see pictures (face, boobs, ass), hear her voice, + give 2 choices, make her call you sempai,
Talk about sex: dick , vagina
Build sexual tension
Never excuse or take back what you said
Be ambiguous, don’t give answer right away
Flirt emoji
Ask about past love: a few important love, lots of date recently, why are you asking?
Talk about your goals making you better
Share pictures of your daily life « frame »
Ask about her fantasies
Tension story: today was such a bad day , 1,2,3 , you guess , say the thing , boom reaction
Ask question about her love, love requirement and connect sexually
Make her imagination wild : (I’m showering)
=> are you sick ? (Worry feeling)

Physical flirt:

pull out a finger shaped heart from your pocket

Sex talk in person with body language

______________________________________________________________________________
Book 2 notes: The Rational Male: Preventive Medicine

After reading the book, I feel Book 1 was more about general concept of “red pill” awareness. Lots of small
interesting topic.

As for the 2nd book, it’s more focus on different stage women will go through and how to deal with it.

Notes:

The teen phase: 15-18y/o

Physical appearance, physical prowess,

The break phase:

High School graduation

Long distance relationship
Women face a new market

The party years: 20-25y/o

22-23 highest peak for women

23-25y/o start to date older men because of « status », provision needs
Physical appearance + alpha confidence character
Realized they can’t compete with younger women

Late party years :

25-27 y/o
Most urgency for long term commitment
Her high SMV, best time to cash out on optimized alpha with providing
Indirect communication become direct (focus on certainty commitment, assurance of future security)

Epiphany phase:

28-30y/o
Conscious realization that their looks are no longer what they were in their prime years.
SMV decrease, harder to compete
** some can keep their looks until end 30’s or 40’s
Realize she need to “put the effort” to secure a man VS men readily offered themselves to her
Looks become less important, focus on long term provisioning criteria
Because not as competitive as before, invent a story: “I had enough fun, new me, serious me.” In reality, they
just look for the provisioning man
If long-term relationship early already, risk that they divorce because it’s the last chance to live a good life.

Transitory phase: (29-31)

 Women less competitive, so need to reassess her self-image
Imagine value-added aspects for herself and convince men that if they don’t like it, they are view as lessen
Only 30+y/o women complain about men who need to man-up
Risk not consolidate with optimal LTR in time
Problem : social conventions relieve from anxiety
Men aren’t responsible, only want to play with young girls, can’t handle strong women
Convince man to follow hypergamy before he realized his SMV peak.
Ultimatum: « if you don’t change this, break up. »

marry or break up
Direct threat vs genuine desire to change
True desire can’t be negotiated.
Attraction born on necessity

Security phase: 31-36 y/o

SMV decay
Beta male sexual peak
Provisioning capacity and status = important criteria
Good dad > good genes fathers
Situation: child support, alimony from divorce, single pregnancy
Problem with entitlement and self-preservation: year of feminism, pay check, promotion, gay bff
(suspicious of other man), anxiety being used for a fling,
Results: huge anti-slut defence
Think high value because of experience, maturity, accomplishment, financial stability
Nope, attractiveness decay over time
Look for marriage proposal and family

Development phase: 36-40y/o

Redevelopment phase: 40-50y/o

Re-interest for alpha, still need beta provider

SMV decays, so compete with male SMV
Try to control the relationship, dominant, reminds you do the right thing
Hate on men focusing on self-development and should be focusing on her and family
When kids grow up and leave house, women initiate divorce. No need provider as much, now looking for
excitement.
Regret during epiphany phase to have chose a beta. Duty to tell younger women to chase alpha male.

Other topics:

Men love:
Give Protecting, provision
Returned love, sex, respect, fidelity
No reciprocal love from women
 Women: nurture and direct love to offsprings
Women love:
“It’s not that women are inherently evil, it’s that men’s idealism make them so available to being
betrayed, tortured and damned. »
Men need to provide and she will « love » you back. If you can’t fulfill her need, men blame their
inability.
Win for the women gg.
Men should be the main decision maker in the relationship.

Control his frame.

Early education:

masculine incorrect, feminine correct.

Condition in a young age to hate our « men side », and be more feminine
Protect girls
Ego investment: when a person internalize a belief and has become conditioned for so long, it becomes an
integral part of their personality. Attack the belief = attack the person.
Pedestals:
Oneitis, distort women’s valuation
Ladies first, preconditioned

Equalism:

undoing of men: « weakness, vulnerability, is sold as strength. Submissiveness and compromise to the
feminine is sold as support. »
Equalism vs complimentarity:
Beta men think that if they stick to their provider role, women will give them sex.

Rejection:

Rejection is better than regret.

Don’t go for revenge.
Better spend time and energy on meeting new prospective women who will reciprocate your interest.

Burden of performance:

men are nothing more than clown for modern women

Men will always be evaluate but their performance whether you like it or not
“Just be yourself” = blue pill
It doesn’t get easier, you get better.
It’s a man’s capacity to perform and to demonstrate (never explicate) higher value that genuinely motivates
women to accommodate mutual needs in a relationship, not communication or reasoning.

Vulnerability:
 Exposing vulnerability = act of submission, surrender and a capitulation to an evident superior.
Idealistic love, unconditional love
In the attraction and arousal stages, women are far more concerned with a man’s capacity to entertain her
by playing a role and presenting her with the perception of male archetype she expects herself to be
attracted to and aroused by.
Vulnerability is not game.

Curse of potential:

Hold him back from opportunities because too much beta

Men not realizing their full potential to sustain her security.
Women SMV depreciate and men’s SMV appreciate.
Hypergamy wants to find the most optimal man and quickly. Problem is man give up potential for their
security so they can’t get the best out of the man.
Men need to take control of his life first.

Dream killer:

“Women should only ever be a compliment to a man’s life, never the focus of it.”
Quickly handcuffs of monogamy vs develop into men of ambitions and passions that women naturally want
to be associated
Scarcity increases value.
Men not settle down until 30-35. Older we get, more valuable we become.
At 35, young+time+ freedom , you can go in any direction of your choosing without considering the impact
of your choice for anyone but yourself.
Power= the degree over which you control your own life.
Women want a man who other men want to be, and other women want to fuck.
Women want to be told « no », in favour to his ambition and passion.
1) set direction as authority + focus on his development
2) your passion become the 2nd woman she needs to compete with
Women = dream killers because men are too willingly to sacrifice their ambitions for a steady supply of
pussy and the responsibilities attached to it.

Frame is everything:

She has to come to your frame.

When you make a decision, do you focus on your own motivation/ involvement or how she will respond to
it?
Do you worry that putting yourself as priority will turn her off?

Game changers:

Personality is a flux. Who you are today is not who you will be in another few years.
At its root level, game is a series of behavioural modifications to life skills based on psychological and
sociological principles to facilitate inter-sexual relations between genders.
 Idea we wish we had the knowledge we have now before. « There is always additional knowledge a man
can know even when he possess the highest level of knowledge.

Male experience:

Sex and testosterone “our lives as men center on our capacity to control, unleash, mitigate and direct that
influence.
“We’re all the same, but celebrate the difference.” Conflict
We know what’s hypergamy, but we will never have similar existential experience as a man. Women will
never experience life as a man.
Men and women can be in loved intensively but from their own individuated experience.

Midlife epiphanies:

Feminine matrix, responsibility should be uniquely framed in what best serves the feminine
Idea of midlife crisis man (40y/o)
SMV crossover: 36-38y/o = SMV peak , women try hard to not make men realized their value
Women needs him more than he needs women
Women shaming man in midlife crisis to trade wives for trophy wives, get sports car, recapturing youth
Crisis realized in his 20’s, 30’a women sold their strategy to him. Lived too long responsibly and need to
move.
“Sold off his true passion in favour of maintaining what others have told him was his responsibility.”

The mature man:

Mature man choosing younger girls over older or same age

Mature men represent this perception of assumed accomplishment and security. (Exactly what women are
looking for in a phase of life where their sexual marketability declines.
Young 22 y/o who is attracted to men because of new high SMV vs 35 y/o who back in her 22y/o ignored
him
Idea of shaming man for choosing younger girl. “Why don’t you grow up”
Men aware of his new SMV, frightening and attractive to women
Women create social convention to shame men. (Juvenile, fragile ego, trying to recapture his youth, creepy
old man)
You don’t want to be « the old guy in a club »; if you’re attractive, the girl who wants to associate with a
mature man will find you.
Women mid 30s -40s are chronic complainers. (If still single, they carry some baggage.)
Women will rarely put forth the same effort a man will for a woman to better identify herself with his
interests for explicit purpose of being a better mate for him. That burden of performance only belong to
men.
After making sacrifices and hard work, to become a healthy, mature, accomplished man that old woman
complain are in short supply, it’s normal they seek out for younger, hotter, more sexually available woman
with little to no baggage.
 Why invest financial, emotional, intellectual and security provisioning into complicating my life with women
with baggage 15-20 years fails.
Mid life men happier because they don’t need to qualify themselves to women anymore. Reverse is true.

Other ideas:

“You don’t have to do what people say you’re supposed to do in a relationship – you don’t have to drop
everything for her, you don’t have to stop doing what you like and love and you don’t have to kiss her ass.”

________________________________________________________

Looking forward to book 3….

SimpleLifeBalancing.