Confiteor Deo omnipotenti, beatae Mariae semper Virgini,

END ME beato Michaeli Archangelo, beato Ioanni Baptistae, sanctis

Apostolis Petro et Paulo, et omnibus Sanctis, quia peccavi
nimis cogitatione, verbo et opere: mea culpa, mea culpa,
mea maxima culpa. Ideo precor beatam Mariam semper
Virginem, beatum Michaelem Archangelum, beatum Io-
annem Baptistam, sanctos Apostolos Petrum et Paulum,
et omnes Sanctos, orare pro me
ad Dominum Deum nostrum.
Amen.

Alas, the age of simpdom has ris-

en, away we must fly, be it to
far off land or the afterlife. We
bid adieu to all and everything we leave behind. God help
us, for we know not what to expect in the times to come,
only that we shall be safe from simps. Who knows what
greater dangers await us? but we can all be consoled by
the knowledge that it cannot, and will not, be worse than
that plague of simps that has blighted our nations and
homes. farewell now, to you who reads this, and good
fortune befall you in your life, howerver short it may be.