CELZO, JOHNORGE C.

BSAC4

CFE106A 1704

JOURNAL 3 (SAMPUSO): "SPEAK LORD!”

This week, I noticed some changes in my physique. I gained weight that caused stretch
marks to appear on various parts of my body. Some acne also popped on my face and left scars.
These changes lessen my confidence and affected my self-esteem and the way I deal with my
internship group mates, live streams, and meetings. My behaviour of limiting my appearance on
socialisations became a habit every time I don’t feel comfortable of the way I look. But as the
days of the week pass by, I regained my composure and I was able to finally weed out that bad
habit. Several people from Kumu- a Filipino live streaming platform, the words of God Almighty,
and the lessons I learned from Samuel’s story helped me become more courageous despite my
imperfections.

Almost every day, I open my Kumu app to watch and listen to people’s conversation
about random things. One day, I discovered a group in this platform that talks about their life
experiences. Upon hearing the story of one of the guests, I was able to relate on his situation.
The lessons he taught us viewers about self-esteem encouraged me to join their conversation
and share my experiences and thoughts regarding that matter. Through participating in the live
stream, I learned that each body is unique and I should learn to accept myself regardless of my
weight, size, or shape. Also, just because I have imperfections doesn’t mean I need to be fixed.
After that particular experience, I became even more courageous to participate on my internship
group discussions and live streams especially when opening my camera and letting them see me
is being required.

Like Samuel who is an image of strength in the Bible, I should also be fearless. I should
never be afraid of showing who I am to others and be courageous to speak up for myself. As a
prophet, he exhorted Israel to turn from idolatry and serve God alone. If that almost unthinkable
problem was resolved by him, I believe that I could also surpass all the challenges that I face
including my struggle of bringing back my self-esteem. In addition, despite his personal
misgivings, he led Israel from the system of judges to its first monarchy and his first loyalty was
to God, regardless of what the people or king taught of him. Indeed, our image may it be
physical or circumstantial could never define what we could achieve.

Without God’s guidance, I could not completely cast all my fears and uncertainties in
relation to what other people will say about my physique away. God’s words empowered me
through making me realize that I am worthy of His love regardless of my imperfections. As stated
in 1 Samuel 16:7, for the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but
the Lord looks on the heart. Because the Lord assures that he is looking upon us not based on
how we look outside but on our inside appearance, I should never worry about the way I look. As
long as I treat others with respect and dignity and I embody good character, then not only my
internship group mates and my future work mates will accept me but also other people around
me including my friends and family.