I barely show gratitude and say thank you

I rarely show my care and feelings toward you

I don’t remember the last time I said ily, but it doesnt
Mean that I don’t love you

A day doesn’t go by that I want to kill myself for hurting your feelings
I hate myself for existing because I don’t deserve your love
I just want to vanish and be forgotten because I am only a burden
A burden who doesn’t deserve to be your son

Im not expressive, it’s just the way iam, but I hope you know
That I love you much, im doing my best to change but please
Be alive to witness it, I may not deserve you, but I am grateful
That God made you, my mama.