Five Strategies For Giving (And Receiving) Constructive Criticism - Big Think

12/16/21, 11:34 AM Five strategies for giving (and receiving) constructive criticism - Big Think
S M A RT S K ILLS — DE CE M BE R 1 5, 2 021
Five strategies for giving

(and receiving)
constructive criticism
Successful constructive criticism is as much about
mindset as methods.
A young couple discuss a painting. (Photo: Adobe Stock)
https://bigthink.com/smart-skills/constructive-criticism/?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1639605647-2 1/19
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Constructive criticism has become an important life

skill. If social media are anything to go by, it’s also
one many people lack. Like any skill, constructive
criticism can be honed with practice and dedication
to some key strategies.
Listen to this article
Kevin Dickinson
C
onstructive criticism was once the professional coin
of a select few. Editors and writers developed the
skill to do their jobs, while the rare manager or
professor may have honed their feedback craft if
they were dedicated. For most though, constructive
criticism rarely factored into daily life.
However, the critical circle has expanded — thanks in no

small part to our digital saturation. Today, everyone is a
creator, critic, and idea communicator rolled into one.
Businesses, restaurants, and even complete strangers ask us

to review them online. The lifeblood of social media is the
content we create and our critical analysis of others’. And the
steady march from the manufacturing economy to one
based on service and creativity means more of us will need
to generate ideas while helping others construct and
strengthen their own.
Criticism is no longer a behind-the-scenes workshop. It’s a

social and economic mainstay, a skill front and center for
many of our lives. It’s also a skill many of us must refine.
Can criticism even be

constructive?
It’s worth considering what we mean by constructive
criticism, a phrase that seems as paradoxical as a Buddhist
koan. To construct is to build something up. To criticize is to
tear it down. How can we practice both in a single action?
Thankfully, you don’t need to achieve enlightenment to

criticize constructively. It helps simply to remember the
word’s origin. Critic came to English by way of Latin’s
criticus, which means “a judge, censor, or estimator.” Criticus
itself hails from the Greek kritikos, meaning one who is “able
to make judgments.”
Notice that neither of these etymons is necessarily scowl-

faced. A judge can be favorable. An estimator can praise a
work’s brilliance and pick apart its bungles. It’s from here
that we derive one modern notion of a critic — that being,
someone with the expertise to evaluate the merits of films,
novels, overpriced entrees, and so on.
Unfortunately, critic’s English word family has its chippy

cousins. Take the adjective critical. Just say the word out
loud. You can’t help but hear the irritated toe taps of a
censorious supervisor. And those tapping toes connect to
critic’s second definition: “one given to harsh or captious
judgment.”
When we qualify criticism as constructive, we signal in

advance that we are working within the first definition. Yes,
that requires pointing to places of disagreement or that need
improvement. But it also means celebrating a work’s value
and accomplishments.
And to reach that mindset, critics and recipients should

follow these five strategies.
The ancient Greek Socrates handed out constructive criticism right up

to his death. (Photo: The Metropolitan Museum of Art)
Establish trust
Author and MacArthur fellow Jacqueline Woodson knows
the difference between constructive and destructive
criticism. As a writer, she’s had to work with editors to
improve drafts of her novels. As a reader and teacher, she’s
offered advice to fellow writers.
In a Big Think+ interview, Woodson shared that she always

wants people to start with what they love about the work.
“It really is fragile, right? When you first put your words out
into the world, and for someone to jump on them and start
critiquing or criticizing them right off the bat can be
devastating. Even for me at this stage, it has to be
incremental, and always starting with praise, lots and lots of
praise, and then getting to the nitty-gritty,” she says.
But this strategy isn’t about inflating egos. It’s about

establishing trust.
According to Paul Zak, founding director of the Center for

Neuroeconomics Studies, when your strengths are
recognized, your hypothalamus releases the
neurotransmitter and hormone oxytocin. Also called the
“love hormone,” oxytocin promotes sexual arousal as well as
pro-social behaviors such as bonding and maternal care.
Zak’s research suggests it is directly connected to trust, as
well.
When someone’s brain is awash in oxytocin, they become

less fearful and more trusting of others, even strangers. The
more trusting, the more willing they are to be vulnerable in
the other person’s presence. And as Woodson’s experience
points out, vulnerability is a delicate but necessary step in
receiving criticism.
The opposite is also true. To come in vulnerable and

immediately face the firing squad — no matter how well-
intentioned their aim may be — is brutal. Starting with
what’s wrong sets the conversation’s tone in a stressful D

minor, and as Zak points out, stress is a potent oxytocin
inhibitor. It prevents people from interacting effectively with
others.
Recipients can build trust with their critics, too. By being

appreciative, honest about their vulnerabilities, and
recognizing good ideas, recipients massage their critic’s
hypothalamus to create a feedback loop of love hormone
production and subsequent trust that opens a path to
constructive criticism
Breathe deeply, think slowly

System 1 is the fast and intuitive thinking we use to read
traffic signs on the freeway. System 2 is the slow and
deliberate thinking used to solve math problems. While
System 1 has its purpose — you don’t want to deliberate
before hitting the brakes in rush-hour traffic — that place is
neither giving nor receiving criticism.
In his seminal book Thinking, Fast and Slow, psychologist

Daniel Kahneman distinguished between two modes of
thinking: System 1 and System 2.
For critics, that means going slow and being attentive. They
should take a breath, consider the work or idea as a whole,
and choose an approach that works best. Their goal should

be to short-circuit, as best as possible, the many cognitive
biases that could stymie their criticism. These include:
The egocentric bias, in which we rely too heavily on our

own perspective.
The confirmation bias, in which we look for evidence of
our initial belief while discounting contrary evidence.
The framing effect, in which our decisions are based on
the way something is presented, not the thing itself.
Similarly, recipients shouldn’t react immediately and

emotionally to criticism. Rather than despair at red
markups, they too should take a breath and spend time
analyzing their emotional state. Then they should process
the criticism as a whole before returning to tackling
lingering issues one at a time.
This is one reason constructive criticism is best facilitated

face-to-face. When you can see how a person acts — not just
their words but the minutiae in their facial expressions and
body language — you have a better chance of
understanding where your assumptions may be wrong or
your interpretation needs more information to improve
accuracy.
Use questions to your advantage

Another cognitive bias that plagues criticism is known as the
curse of knowledge. When under its spell, people assume
that everyone will have the same background knowledge
and experiences they do. After all, who wouldn’t know these
things that come so easily and effortlessly to them, right?
The critic assumes the recipient must be brainless to not see

these obvious mistakes. Meanwhile, the recipient assumes
the critic just doesn’t “get it.” Secure in their belief that such
knowledge is widely known, they never elaborate on the
missing element that would clear up the confusion.
As Steven Pinker notes in The Sense of Style: “Anyone who

wants to lift the curse of knowledge must first appreciate
what a devilish curse it is. Like a drunk who is too impaired
to realize that he is too impaired to drive, we do not notice
the curse because the curse prevents us from noticing it.

This blindness impairs us in every act of communication.”
Thankfully, Woodson has a remedy to break the curse:

questions. Lots of ‘em!
“[Constructive] criticism should be the kind of critiquing

that asks questions, asks bigger questions. Why does this
happen? I’m curious about where this is going. What were
you intending for the reader to get? That kind of thing, so it
doesn’t make you feel so vulnerable,” she says.
Questions help because they reveal the areas where the

critic and recipient’s experiences and knowledge may not
align. They show where something, so clear to one person,
is muddled and opaque for the other. And they identify
problems that the other may not see as a problem and
therefore wouldn’t consider fixing.
A heavily edited page from Charles Dickens’ “A Curious Dance

Around a Curious Tree” shows that even the best need some
constructive feedback. (Photo: The New York Public Library Digital
Collections)
Employ a growth mindset

But the question-focused approach demands a change to
what psychologist Carol Dweck calls a growth mindset.
Critics and recipients must see mistakes not as failures but
as opportunities to learn.
Novelist Salman Rushdie embodies this mindset when

discussing his feedback process: “I’m looking for people to
say: I got confused here, or I wanted to know more about
her, or I wanted a little less about him. And you want people
to tell you that much more than to just say, “It’s great!”
Because “It’s great!” doesn’t help me. I mean, it’s
comforting, but I’m much more interested in people putting
their finger on areas where they had problems.”
While praise and confidence building are nice, once trust is

established, recipients must then take in the criticism and
use it to discover what doesn’t work and correct it. That
doesn’t mean taking every critic’s suggestion all the time —
one can’t please all of the critics all of the time. But it means
giving the advice honest appraisal and seeking ways to use it
to improve.
But that requires a shift in the critic’s mindset as well. They

must realize their job is not to fix the problem. That’s taking
someone else’s work, ideas, or perspective and trying to
make it their own. Instead, constructive criticism points to
areas for potential growth that can make the work stronger
in the end.
Choose your words wisely, listen

carefully
It’s impossible to decouple emotions from the critical

process, meaning shame, anger, and self-defeat are always
potential outcomes. For this reason, criticism can never be a
simple exchange of information. It is a social exercise in
which we must be careful of the words we choose.
“The words I choose to describe a situation will give

meaning to the situation and will shape my experience of
this entire situation. That is the power of language,”
psychotherapist Esther Perel told us. “We need to know
what [our] words represent. They have cultural, historical,
and social resonance.”
The questions-based approach outlined above is a good

start. It shifts the conversation away from a series of need
to’s — which can make the feedback read like a despotic
decree — and shifts it to a process in problem-solving.
Another tactic is to make the language impersonal and
contributive. Instead of saying, “You did this wrong,” critics
can switch to focus on their experience: “I had trouble with
this part.”
Critics and recipients must also engage in quality listening.

According to Perel, people too often approach conversation
as a debate. They’re looking to prove their point and have
already formulated a response before the other is finished
talking.
But the quality of constructive criticism is determined by the

quality of the listening on both sides. Perel notes that means
acknowledging with attention, validating their point of view,
and empathizing with them even if you ultimately disagree.
Constructive criticism points to areas for potential

growth that can make the work stronger in the end.
Don’t fear constructive criticism

Like any skill, constructive criticism sharpens with practice
and commitment. That’s true for giving and receiving
criticism — which, in their way, are distinct skills.
When you practice receiving criticism, you build what

Rushdie calls your “confidence muscles.” To extend his
metaphor, seeking feedback is like going to the gym.
Through resistance and some discomfort, you strengthen
your confidence. Your ego may be sore in the morning, but
as you continue, you’ll discover that you can recover from
critiques with much less mental fatigue.
Giving criticism is more like building your coaching

abilities. As you improve, you’ll discover what feedback is
appropriate, which is extraneous, how to encourage through
tough times, and how to better set aside your biases.
And ultimately, both athlete and coach are working toward

the same goal: a win.
These five strategies can help anyone develop their

constructive criticism skills. And while we won’t always get
it right, devoting ourselves to the project will not only make
us better but could help us be a little happier in our
critically-minded era.
Watch more of these experts on

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12/16/21, 11:34 AM Five strategies for giving (and receiving) constructive criticism - Big Think

Five strategies for giving

A young couple discuss a painting. (Photo: Adobe Stock)

Constructive criticism has become an important life

Listen to this article

However, the critical circle has expanded — thanks in no

Businesses, restaurants, and even complete strangers ask us

Criticism is no longer a behind-the-scenes workshop. It’s a

Can criticism even be

Thankfully, you don’t need to achieve enlightenment to

Notice that neither of these etymons is necessarily scowl-

Unfortunately, critic’s English word family has its chippy

When we qualify criticism as constructive, we signal in

And to reach that mindset, critics and recipients should

The ancient Greek Socrates handed out constructive criticism right up

In a Big Think+ interview, Woodson shared that she always

But this strategy isn’t about inflating egos. It’s about

According to Paul Zak, founding director of the Center for

When someone’s brain is awash in oxytocin, they become

The opposite is also true. To come in vulnerable and

what’s wrong sets the conversation’s tone in a stressful D

Recipients can build trust with their critics, too. By being

Breathe deeply, think slowly

In his seminal book Thinking, Fast and Slow, psychologist

and choose an approach that works best. Their goal should

The egocentric bias, in which we rely too heavily on our

Similarly, recipients shouldn’t react immediately and

This is one reason constructive criticism is best facilitated

Use questions to your advantage

The critic assumes the recipient must be brainless to not see

As Steven Pinker notes in The Sense of Style: “Anyone who

the curse because the curse prevents us from noticing it.

Thankfully, Woodson has a remedy to break the curse:

“[Constructive] criticism should be the kind of critiquing

Questions help because they reveal the areas where the

A heavily edited page from Charles Dickens’ “A Curious Dance

Employ a growth mindset

Novelist Salman Rushdie embodies this mindset when

While praise and confidence building are nice, once trust is

But that requires a shift in the critic’s mindset as well. They

Choose your words wisely, listen

It’s impossible to decouple emotions from the critical

“The words I choose to describe a situation will give

The questions-based approach outlined above is a good

Critics and recipients must also engage in quality listening.

But the quality of constructive criticism is determined by the

Constructive criticism points to areas for potential

Don’t fear constructive criticism

When you practice receiving criticism, you build what

Giving criticism is more like building your coaching

And ultimately, both athlete and coach are working toward

These five strategies can help anyone develop their

Watch more of these experts on

Join authors such as Jacqueline Woodson, Salman Rushdie,

A Writer’s Guide to Creativity and Criticism

Learn more about Big Think+ or request a demo for your

Career Development communication

creativity emotional intelligence Life Hacks

neuroscience psychology Smart Skills

5 laws for leaders who want to build trust

Why you need to embrace fighting with

How to Recognize and Invite

▸ 5 min — with Jacqueline Woodson