To: Nancy Myers

From: Stephen Shaw

Date: 1/18/2022
Subject: Achieving Audience Involvement

Achieving Audience Involvement

1. Revise the following sentences to achieve involvement through personalization and by
adding pronouns and names.
a. Matt, JCL Talent will need further information before we process this request.
b. Emma, it has been decided that a new procedure must be put in to avoid further
mechanical failures.
c. John, the department supervisor, wants to thank you for your effort.
d. Amy, I think you have done a great job. I want you to know that you have surpassed
this month’s quota by 12 percent. I believe I speak for the entire department by
saying thank you.
e. Andrew, if the computer overloads, constantly press reset and control. Wait for the
screen command. If it reads “Data Recovered” continue operations. If it reads “I/O
Error”, call the computer resource center.
2. Revise the following sentences to achieve reader involvement and benefit, using
positive words and pronouns.
a. We can lay your cable after you sign the attached waver.
b. John, purchase the right program. If we continue to keep efficient records, our
customers will be satisfied.
c. When you pay the bill, the services can remain.
d. If you correctly quote and paraphrase, you will receive a good grade on the
assignment.
e. Your team has won 6 of their last 12 games.