SIMILARITIES BETWEEN ALCOHOL AND WOMEN BOTH HAVE AMAZING QUALITIES TO GIVE YOU PLEASURE AT NIGHT

AND HEADACHES IN THE MORNING.

During in our class my teacher asks, why do we need school?

Music: We have YouTube for that

English: everything’s shortened anyway (LOL, BRB, IDK)

Math: We have calculators

Science: We have "scientific" calculators

History: They're all dead anyways

Later on, the teacher told Molina that Molina, you know you can’t sleep in my class?

Molina answered: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could. Ma’am how do volcano flirt with
another volcano?
How: you got a nice ashhhhhhhhh.

And after that our English teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us

She used to say “you shall not pass”.

My little brother just started school. When he returned home the first day, I asked,

Tony, what did you learn today?

I learn how to write.

Ohm, what did you write?

I don't know. I haven't learned to read yet.

Later in the afternoon I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So, I threw him out. I
hate having visitors. MY CRUSH RECENTLY GOT INTO A REALLY BAD CAR ACCIDENT SO I TOLD THE DOCTOR THE
WRONG BLOOD TYPE, NOW SHE'LL TRULY KNOW WHAT REJECTION FEELS

After that I went to hospital and I saw a doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but
you only have ten left." The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him
and says, "Nine."