CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 1

Lies
Sex, Secrets and
YOUR GUIDE

THIS BOOKLET…
SEXUAL
DERSTAND WHAT
• HELPS YOU UN BE
N
EXPLOITATION CA
IO N TH AT EMPOWERS YOU
FORMAT
• GIVES YOU IN
VE CHOICES
TO MAKE POSITI
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 2

SEXUAL EXPLOITATION BASICALLY MEANS THAT

SOMEBODY MAY BE TRICKING YOU TO HAVE SEXUAL CONTACT WITH
THEM OR OTHER PEOPLE. THIS COULD INCLUDE DOING SEXUAL THINGS IN
RETURN FOR MONEY, DRUGS, SOMEWHERE TO STAY, GIFTS OR FAVOURS. IT CAN BE
HARD TO RECOGNISE BECAUSE YOU OFTEN BELIEVE YOU ARe IN A GOOD
RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PERSON/PEOPLE WHO
ARE ABUSING YOU.

1) Targeting/Contacting
female and will be looking for a
The groomer, could be a male or ,
people in places such as schools
young person or a group of young the internet. They will show an
on
parks or by creating false profiles
rest in you and perhaps offer you something, for example, a
inte
talk to for support.
cigarette, a drink or someone to

2) Relationship
Buildi ng/Sharing Activ
The groomer will ities
mobile phone. Th w ant to keep contact with
ey m ay complim yo u and may give yo
favours for you, u
such as giving yo ent you on your looks and matura
begin to spend le u a lift; do fun th ity
ss time with your ings with you. Yo ; do
friends and fam u may
ily.

ship
lationship/Friend
3) Fake Loving Re tionship with the groomer. Within
the fake
rn or
xual rela ample, po
You may enter a se be introduced to sex through, for ex d that you are in
friendship you may . You may think everything is fine an
ts
watching sexual ac mer is slowly gaining more control.
but the groo
control,
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 3

SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO SEXUALLY EXPLOIT

YOU WILL TAKE TIME TO MAKE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS TRUST THEM;
THIS IS KNOWN AS GROOMING.

4) Control and Reinforcement

This is when you and the groom
er
and/or against the law like drin do things that can be dangerous
king, taking/selling drugs or
criminal activity. You may be forc
for not being hurt or for someth ed to do sexual favours in return
ing you need. This may include
violence or threats of violence.

xual Exploitation
5) Abusive Relationship/Se ing sex with others for som
ething
ced into hav
This is when you may be for force or persuasion. Groomers can persuade
you need or want, by either sexual acts
e being filmed performing mal.
you to do sexual things lik nd nor
ail and making it sou
by using emotional blackm

TRAFFICKING: IT’S WHEN CHILDREN OR

YOUNG PEOPLE ARE MOVED FROM ONE PLACE
TO ANOTHER TO BE EXPLOITED, INCLUDING
SEXUAL EXPLOITATION.
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 4

BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS CAN BE VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

AND RAPE, SO DO WHAT YOU CAN TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE;

STAY SAFE
• Tell someone where you’re going and
when you’ll be back.
• Make sure your phone is charged and
you have credit to use it.
• Make sure you have enough money
to get home.
• Only use a licensed taxi firm and if you’re
in a taxi alone let someone know the
driver’s badge number.
• Look after your drink. Drugs are used to
spike drinks and can be hard to spot.
• Avoid drinking too much alcohol.
• Trust your gut feeling. If you think
something is wrong, tell someone you
trust. If they won’t listen tell
someone else.
• Speak out.
• Don’t do anything you are not
comfortable with.
• Don’t pressure someone else
into having sex.
• It’s OK to say no; it’s your choice.
• Whatever anyone else says it’s not
your fault. You don’t deserve it.
• You can stop at any time, even when
you think things have gone too far!

BEING HONEST AND TALKING ABOUT EMBARRASSING THINGS IS HARD,

BUT IT’S IMPORTANT THAT YOU TRY! REMEMBER THAT ABUSE IS NEVER YOUR FAULT.
YOU COULD SPEAK TO: A PARENT, CARER, TEACHER, SOCIAL WORKER, YOUTH
OR KEY WORKER OR ANY OTHER WORKER YOU TRUST.
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 5

• Never put your full address on • It’s also not a

your site; it’s best to leave the good idea to put
space blank, or if you want to your mobile
add some information, make number on your
sure that you make your site – your real
profile private so that only friends will
your friends can see it! already
have it!
• It’s a good idea to use a
nickname rather than • Use your
your full name; your privacy settings!
friends will know it’s Adjust your
your nickname so will account settings
know it’s you! so only approved
friends can
• It’s a good idea to instant message
put your real age on you. This means
your site – if you lie that people you
and say you are don’t want
older, you may get to see your
an adult trying to profile can’t!
contact you.

IF ANYTHING MAKES YOU SUSPICIOUS

TELL AN ADULT YOU TRUST OR REPORT
YOUR CONCERNS.

Information from:
www.thinkuknow.co.uk | www.faceup2it.org
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 6

TRICKS USED
BY ABUSERS

• Groomed through • Meeting someone

sports such as football, through the internet
swimming, athletics. who are not who they
say they are.
• Invited and taken to
houses and flats by • Meeting people
other young people through online video
for parties. games.
• Given alcohol, • Wanting to be
drugs, money accepted by other
and gifts. young people.
• Having a controlling • Given lifts, taken
partner who then forces to new places and
you to have sex with having adventures
their friends. with someone you
have just met.
• Friends who introduce
you to abusive people. • Someone making you
feel good about yourself
• Offered somewhere to then becoming abusive.
stay in return for sex.
• Being taken into red
light or cruising areas.
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 7

THINGS THAT MAY PUSH YOU

INTO DIFFICULT SITUATIONS

• Accepted as • Not going to

part of a group. school or exclusion
from school.
• Feeling unpopular
or unloved. • Problems
at home.
• Being part of an
alternative scene, • Feeling alone
such as a gang. and isolated.
• Getting a buzz • Exploring your
from doing something sexuality.
risky or rebellious.
• Running away.
• Poor relationships
with authority figures • Paying a debt.
such as police,
teachers, parents, • Being bullied or
social worker. threatened.
• Feeling not
listened to.

Sexual exploitation is less talked about

with boys and boys are less likely to
contact services for help and support.
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 8

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

If you suspect that a family member or friend could be

at risk of sexual exploitation these are some signs
to look out for…

• Going missing for either short periods

of time or days.
• Staying out late or not knowing
where they are.
• Being secretive about where and who
they are going with.
• Distancing themselves from family and friends.
• Change in behaviour, such as, withdrawn
or aggressive.
• A change in appearance, for example, not caring
for themselves or bathing constantly.
• Having things you haven’t bought for them or
given to them that are unexplained.
• Sexualised behaviour, touching people when
they don’t want it.
• Being picked up by people you don’t know.
• A change in academic performance.
• Increase in drug or alcohol use.
• Starting to miss school/college/training/work.

AN ABUSER, MALE OR FEMALE, EXPLOITING CHILDREN OR YOUNG

PEOPLE HAS SOME KIND OF POWER OVER THEM. BE IT THEIR AGE,
GENDER, INTELLECT, PHYSICAL OR FINANCIAL MEANS.
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 9

Subs e
tanc lam
e To b
use
y
Eati Guilt
disor ng
der
Angry
Shocke
d
Nightmare Anxious
s
Out of
Flashbacks Control

Depressed Withdrawn

Suicidal Stomach
Churning
Ashamed
Racing
Heart
o feel
Made t
ecret
it’s a s Self Ha
rm
hing,
Snitc Feeli
ng
sing
Gras Numb

th less Empt
y
Wor
ed Dirt
m ent y
Tor

IT’S HARD TO RECOVER FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

BY YOURSELF. YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU ASK
FOR HELP! LOOK ON THE BACK PAGE FOR
HELP AND SUPPORT.
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion-2_English 05/12/2013 11:08 Page 10

Child Protection protects you up to the age of 18 years old.

It’s important to remember that nobody has the right to
touch you if you don’t want to be touched, or to persuade
you to engage in sex if you don’t want to do it.

st the
It’s again yone
n
law for a x with
e s e
to hav erson
a you n g p 6.
e age of 1
under th e same for
This is th girls
boys and or gay).
(straight own as the
This is kn sent.
n
age of co

It’s ille
person gal for a
of auth in a positio
IT’S OK YOU DON’T HAVE TO teache ority, such n
a
DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU etc., to r, carer, do s a
enga ctor
FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHETHER sexua
THAT’S ONCE, TWICE OR LOTS l act w ge in a
anyon ith
OF TIMES. e
age of under the
18 yea
rs old.

NOBO
TO TAK DY HA
S THE
OF YO E IMAGES O RIGHT
UR GE
ANY S NITALS R PICTURES
EXU ,B
THE IN AL ACTS AN REASTS OR
TERNE D PUT
T. IT’S THEM
FOR Y ALSO O
OU TO
SEND ILLEG N
THEM. AL

The United Nations Rights of

the Child states that every
child has the right to be free
from abuse, exploitation
or kidnap.
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion_English 08/10/2013 09:11 Page 11

If you suspect a situation of

abuse or trafficking or that
someone you know is being
groomed for sexual
purposes ring:

DORSET
24hr National
Local Authority POLICE: FPA Sexual
Domestic
Children's Social CALL 101 OR IN Health
Violence Helpline
Care: AN EMERGENCY
0808 2000 247 0845 122 8690
Bournemouth - 999 Childwww.fpa.org.uk
Exploitation
New Pathways
01202 456900 - Rape and Online
NHS Direct Wales:
Poole -and Sexual
Crisis Protection Centre:
0845 46 47
Abuse Support www.ceop.police.uk
01202 735 046
Services www.nhsdirect.wales.
Dorset - 310
01685 379 nhs.uk
Emergency
www.dorsetforyou www.stopitnow.org.uk
Drug and Alcohol
07423 437 020
.com/393713 Support:
Dan 24/7
T www.internetmatters.
Broken Rainbow - RE NO 0808 808 2234
Crimestoppers:
National LGBT YOU A ! org
ALONE
or text DAN to: 81066
0800 555 111
Domestic www.dan247.org.uk
Violence
(Anonymous) CEOP resources for
Helpline Drinkline:
parents and children:
0300 999 5428 0800 917 8282
NSPCC: Someone www.thinkuknow.co.uk
www.patient.co.uk
0808 800 5000 to talk to:
Meic – Information,
Barnardos:
Childline: advice and support
0800 1111
www.barnardos.org.uk for your life
Childline: (24hr helpline) 0808 802 3456
0800 1111 www.child-line.org.uk
UK Safer internet centre: TXT: 84001
www.saferinternet.org.uk
NSPCC (information) Chat/IM
0808 800 5000 www.meic
e-mail: help@nspcc.org.uk cymru.org
National Helpline for male victims of
CSE: 07808 863 662 08457 90 90 90
Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
National Support for Victims:
Missing or Runaway Helpline: 116000
National DV helpline (24 hours) - 0808 2000247
National Men's Advice Line
Children’s (for male victims) -
Rights
8010327 Commissioner for Wales
0808Children’s
www.childcom.org.uk
CC126b-Barnados-Lft-EnglishVersion-v2_English 05/12/2013 11:14 Page 12

THE SERAF SERVICE WAS STARTED IN 2006 BY BARNARDO’S CYMRU. THE SERVICE
SUPPORTS YOUNG PEOPLE ACROSS WALES. THIS BROCHURE WAS DESIGNED BY YOUNG
This booklet has been reproduced with the kind permission of the
PEOPLE TO RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT CHILD SEXUAL EXPLOItATION. WE WOULD LIKE TO
Welsh Government and Barnardo’s Wales.
SAY A BIG THANK YOU TO; THE YOUNG PEOPLE OF THE SERAF SERVICE, GRASSROOTS,
BRIDGES RCT PROJECT, Cardiff Council Street Based Team AND SAFER WALES.

© Barnardo’s 2013. All rights reserved. No part of this brochure, including images, may be reproduced or stored
cc126b-v2

on an authorised retrieval system, or transmitted in any form without prior permission of the publisher.

Barnardo’s Registered Charity Nos: 2156250 and SC037605