A/N: Hey, everyone.

I got this done later than I initially wanted but considering I have
work and classes, I think I did ok. Just to recap, I am not continuing Fix Me because I’m
pretty much doing it over. I don’t know what to call this yet because it’s still a work in
progress but I like this so far and want to see where this goes. Let me know what you guys
think. No beta so all mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer and the title belongs to Lana Del Rey
:D.

Prologue (EPOV)
I close my eyes and relax against the booth I’m sitting in as I let the warm scotch wash
over my teeth. I’m not even there, letting the music and people fade as I lose myself in my
thoughts, something I don’t do often sober. Thoughts bounce around about classes and dates for
upcoming deadlines as I roll my glass back and forth absently, the clink of the ice mesmerizing
me. The approaching sound of heels keeps me from slipping further.
“Hey there, handsome. What are you doing here all by yourself?”
I slowly open my eyes, glancing at her up and down. The lights of the club are low but I can still
take my time seeing her whole look. She’s all tits and tight material that covers nothing at all
because I can see her hot pink zebra bra through her thin dress. Her body is slight curves,
stretching muscle on the long legs that lead to those deathly high heeled pumps on her feet. Her
hair is like a bird's nest, I wouldn’t be surprised if a bird flew out of it. Cool blue eyes stand out
from her heavy black eye makeup and her frosty pink lip gloss is the cherry on top.
“Shouldn’t that be my line?”
She giggles with that smirk and I know that the sarcasm has not gone unnoticed.
“That was funny.”
“Thank you. I’ll be here all week.”
Her smile falters a bit but her smirk is back and she’s leaning in closer.
“How bout we loosen you up a bit. Dance with me?” she asks me, taking my hand already.
I watch her hips sway as she walks, her legs strutting with confidence, her hand squeezing mine.
I let her lead me to the dance floor and pull my arms around her slim waist. The music is
something upbeat but something I can dance to. This is her show so I keep watching her do her
thing, her body twisting and rocking against mine to the beat. I admit it feels good but not where
it counts.
I hold onto the flare of her hips as she turns and grinds her ass against me, giving me a look over
her shoulder and I just keep watching her. She looks at me with a coy smile, mirth and mischief
in her eyes as she grinds against me. She bends over, rolling her hips and I chuckle a bit when
she says my name in a breathy moan for good measure. I close my eyes, letting the sensations
take over me and just soak in the moment.
Letting my mind open, my guard down as I take advantage of the feel of soft and strong surround
my senses. I can pretend it’s not her, I can imagine. Full hips, creamy skin under my fingertips
when I brush my hand across the small of her back. Her scent, spicy sweet invades my nostrils
when she turns around in my arms. My eyes open slowly and I’m in a face full of brown, lush,
chocolate tresses brushing against my face. Heat curls up my neck, making my skin tingle and I
feel the weight of the room pressing against my lungs. I pull back and feel like I’ve been struck
by a damn truck. Her eyes.. mocha coffee, butterscotch caramel, hazelnut.. some shit I don’t
know the name of but I’m captured. I know this can’t be real, that this is me with my mind open
and alcohol in my system but she feels so real. I want to touch her face but I couldn’t move even
if I wanted to, knowing that she’ll disappear if I do. Awareness, shock seeps into her gaze and
then she’s gone in the blink of an eye, the girl from before in her place.
I blink back to reality, the heat and fog in my brain lifting a bit. Blue eyes search my face, I must
have been out of it longer than I thought. She feels my forehead with the back of her hand, her
cool touch somewhat soothing to my overheated skin. Heading back to the booth, she pulls me
down to sit with her. “What’s the matter, hun?”
The game is over, her concern genuine as she looks for my response. I’m sure I look weird,
watching the people in the club as if I’m looking for someone. She wasn’t real so what am I
looking for? Disappointment and desire are bitter on my tongue so I wash it down with vodka
this time. I down that shit, actually enjoying the burn of alcohol in my nose and throat.
“Nothing.”
She nods but doesn’t look convinced. Shit.
I’m still drinking, she’s still watching me like a hawk and after ten minutes she says she’s going
home. When she gets up with a huff, I look up at her expecting to hear complaints about my lack
of cooperation tonight. But all I see is her eyes soften at my expression and empathy. After
taking off the costume wig and caked up makeup on her face she looks like my Tanya again. She
plops down next to me, brushing a finger under my eye.
“You look like shit, Ed.” She’s never been known for being subtle.
“Thanks.”
She chuckles and shakes her head, gesturing to my fourth glass of vodka. Or was it my sixth?
“Try to save some for everyone else, yeah?” I raise my glass a bit in my signature wave; half
sarcastic, half pathetic.
“See you next week, Tan.” I give her a nod and lean my head back, letting it bump the cushion of
the booth seat.
I met Tanya in my Communications class my freshman year of college and we hit it off pretty
well. We hung out a lot outside of class, watching movies and eating out. That was three years
ago. Now, she gives me something to look forward to at the end of the week. After work, I come
here and drink until she shows up. She’ll put on something like the girls I used to date would
wear, sometimes she’ll even wear a wig. She’ll do almost anything to make me laugh or at least
feel better. She says she’s humoring me but I think she pities me. I guess it’s the same thing.
I know she’ll be home soon, snuggled up with her girlfriend by the time I leave but I’ll text her
later to make sure she got home okay.
I eventually take my loser ass home and keep the lights off when I come in. I plop down into my
plush couch, another glass in my hand. It’s water this time but it was very tempting not to be.
After texting Tanya to see if she made it home, I’m left alone with my thoughts. I’m still reeling
at what happened at the club. I stare at the television, even though it’s off and let my mind
wander again. But I can’t quit this time because I keep seeing those eyes. The feeling I got from
them as she pierced through me with her stare. The heat of her fire, the pressure building like
molten lava bubbling from the core. The hot, sweltering essence rising to a peak of no return to a
sizzling burn that sparks my nerve endings like wildfire.
I shake myself out of the state of drifting just thinking about it puts me in. I shift on the couch,
groaning as I stiffly get up. I slowly make my way to bed and I smell a fragrance of something,
spicy sweet and lingering in the air around me. My mind is fuzzy and slowly shutting down and
I’m ready for the darkness, the peaceful nothing. I strip off my clothes, looking over at the open
windows that line up the side of my room before I spill into my bed and under the covers. Laying
on my back, I stare at the ceiling. I let the last of the alcohol in my veins take me under, knowing
I’ve drunk enough to lull me to sleep. And I dream about those beautiful brown eyes.
A/N: Like I said before, work in progress but I of course still want you guys’ criticism.
There is no schedule of posting but I’ll try to get the chapters out when I can. I don’t want
to just rush out stuff when it’s not how I wanted it to be. Thank you for your support,
people. I mean it.