Conner Wise

Professor Heinze

Interpersonal Communications

28 April 2020

Communication Competence

Throughout this spring semester, students of all ages experienced a tragic pandemic. The

Coronavirus has impacted everyone’s daily routines and has permanently left a scar on the

world. This being said, civilians have had to find many other ways to communicate effectively so

we can still operate as a society. Interpersonal communications was a perfect course to be

enrolled in at this time because we were learning how to communicate in other ways. Without

effective communication techniques, civilization would be disruptive and chaotic. These are

times where our communication competence needs to be thorough and clear. The five factors

that measure how you interpret a message can impact how your audience reacts. In this paper, I

will explain what these factors are, and some personal examples of how they can affect dialogue

during a conversation.

The book Interpersonal Communications – Putting Theory into Practice by Denise

Solomon and Jennifer Theiss does a fantastic job describing each factor. No one ever notices

these factors when actually having a conversation, but once you start thinking about it on a daily

basis and putting these into practice, you may notice your communication tactics improving.

The first concept of communication competence I am going to be discussing is fidelity.

Solomon and Theiss portray fidelity as “The clarity of a message – the extent to which meanings
can be correctly inferred from the symbols.” To break this down into simpler terms, fidelity is

how a message can get from point A to point B being as thorough as possible. Why this may

seem easy and nonproblematic, this can be a big

problem especially in todays society. With the amount

of technology in our world now, there are new ways

to communicate. Within the last two decades, text

messaging has bloomed into something we never

thought would have. Recently, new ways of texting

have emerged into everyday communication such as

abbreviations and emojis. According to Craig Smith, (director of marketing for DMR) the annual

increase in emoji’s in marketing strategies has increased 775% within the last 5 years. This is a

huge increase in the way companies reach their audiences. These simple picture-like messages

can contain different meanings depending on the content of the message.

 A factor that can alter fidelity is outside noise. Say you are having

a conversation with someone right next to a busy restaurant. It may be

hard to hear someone when there are multiple conversations occurring

around in your environment. To help eliminate noise, one may consider

moving their location so your conversation can occur and there are not

any outside noises. From personal experience living in a populated town,

there have been many times where I have had a conversation downtown

and could not hear what the person right next to me was saying. However,

I have not had this problem recently due to social distancing. Instead of face to face

communication, I have switched to text messaging and calling. In this transition, I have noticed

that my text messaging skills are out of date so to say. People use abbreviations such as: Lol,

wym, hbu, and many more on a daily basis. If you are text messaging someone who is older and

does not understand abbreviations, this can alter the fidelity of your message and result in

confusion. All of these short abbreviations can be looked up on the internet now to find their

meanings, but it is extremely important to make sure the person you are conversating with knows

these meanings before sending them.

The second communication competence factor that will lead to clear and thorough

conversations is appropriateness. In other words, is your statement ethically right to say given

the background and standards that your communicator has? “Communication is appropriate

when the messages the people produce match the requirements of the situation” (Soloman &

Theiss Pg.17). This factor can be tricky. The appropriateness of your message completely

depends on the person you are communicating with. If you are having a conversation with your

best friend and you guys have a lot of inside jokes, the appropriateness of a statement is probably
more versatile than going on a job interview. Whenever having a conversation with someone,

you need to think about who you are talking to, and whether they will understand your sense of

humor or, will they take it the wrong way and have a shifted opinion on you.

Back in January, my fraternity brothers and I went to a headquarter meeting in Chicago

that our national fraternity always hosts. During these conventions, we talk and communicate

with alumni from all around the country to help us become a better individual chapter. While we

attend different sessions, there is also a question and answer period where the current fraternity

brothers can ask the alumni questions about real world situations. When we were in the Q&A

session, the alumni advisor was talking about the way to dress during an interview. My

fraternity’s alumni are white collar workers who are very conservative. An individual from the

North Carolina chapter asked an interesting question in front of 300 people. He asked, “Is it okay

to wear a graphic T – shirt with a hoodie during an interview?” While many of the individuals in

the room looked at this member in shock, the presenter asked the North Carolina member if his

question was a joke. These conventions require you to dress up in a full suit for the meetings and

they are taken very seriously. While the question itself is actually an important topic to cover, the

presenter asked politely for the individual to leave if he was going to ask those types of

questions. You could tell that he was trying to be funny in front of all these people, but it was not

an appropriate time for the question. This appropriateness factor needs to be thought of whenever

having a conversation or it could lead to a disrupted and discontinued relationship.

Satisfaction is another key term to focus on when having a conversation. Think about the

feelings you get after someone actually seems interested in what you are saying. Everyone has

had an experience where they are having a conversation with another individual, but they do not

seem like they care that much. This may lead one of the conservators to start dazing off and
looking at other things, not paying attention. Satisfaction in a conversation is what leads you to

talk to that person more than once. In my personal opinion, this is one of the most important

factors in communication competence because it is the reason why we continue to talk to the

people that are closest in our lives.

In a study done in 1994, one hundred couples from

California were interviewed and asked questions regarding their

personal happiness and satisfaction of their partner. The

questions consisted of measuring how happy the person was in

their current relationship and what made them happy about their

significant other. Majority of the answers from the women were

practically the same stating that they all were happy because of the communication that the two

partners had and how easy it was to communicate. For the people who did not feel as happy,

their reasoning was because of the lack of communication the relationship had (Feeney 1994).

In a romantic relationship, satisfaction is what I believe to be one of the most important

factors for a healthy relationship for multiple reasons. Humans are always looking for pleasure

and feeling wanted and finding someone who can give that to you is truly an amazing feeling.

Satisfaction is a short-term period of happiness – almost momentarily. When you are satisfied

over and over again though by the same person, that is when someone can really start relying on

that other person for happiness and how relationships start. Satisfaction goes deeper than just

romantic relationships, but friendships as well. Think about your friends that you have today, and

ask yourself, why are they your best friend? Is it because they are funny, trustworthy, reliable,

similar? There are many different adjectives to go through but they all tie in back to satisfaction.

The reason why they are your friend is because out of all the different terms to describe them,
those terms provide you satisfaction. Whenever you are going through a tough time, you reach

out to friends to feel satisfied and they bring you that pleasure to lift you back up.

In my personal experience, my grandparents have never lived relatively near me and are

always calling me. I will sit on the phone with them for hours as they fill me in with good advice

and their old stories. They live about four hours away so I would see them just about every other

month and holidays. Now that this pandemic has occurred, my close family has not been able to

see them in three moths which has led them to call me almost everyday asking how I am doing. I

did not think too much of this before I did some research on it, but the reason why they call so

much and talk our ears off is because how much satisfaction we bring them. Interpersonal

Communication Putting Theory into Practice briefly mentions this type of relationship –

“Grandparents report that they are more satisfied with

communication with their grandchildren when both parties take

equal responsibility for initiating interaction” (Holladay & Seipke,

2007). After reading this, I realized that the reason why they are

calling me almost every day now is because I have been more

talkative due to the fact that I cannot see them. All they want to

know is how I am doing with all of this going on, but I will sit and

talk to them on the phone for two hours now because I am engaging myself more. The

satisfaction they are getting out of me now is more than they have ever had. This can be for

every relationship you are in though. It is not just for grandparents and grandchildren, and in

fact, to find satisfaction right now during the stay at home order, it is encouraged to talk to all of

your loved ones.

 The fourth factor that may be the hardest to achieve is effectiveness. Did the outcome you

want occur? When having a conversation, you might plan an event, ask someone to hangout

within the next few days, or ask questions regarding an assignment. Most conversations now are

trying to get something out of it, and it is your job to make sure that goal you set happens. This

factor tends to go over the head and not carefully thought about. The main reason people do not

complete the goal that was intended is because they were not listening in the first place. Though

many people say they are a good effective communicator, they often are mistaken because to be

an effective communicator, you need to start with listening. Many people have a hard time active

listening to others. To measure the effectiveness of your message, start with learning the

different types of listeners. Different listening tactics are used for different types of conversations

you are having. Brandy Champead is a writer and explains the different types of listening tactics

very well so people can easily understand them. Appreciative listening is listening for your own

enjoyment, used a lot when socializing in a group of people. Discriminatory listening involves

reading between the lines. What is the meaning behind the message? Comprehensive listening

involves listening to what the speaker is saying and learning new material from them. This may

be between a teacher and a student during a lecture. Empathetic listening is not only

understanding the message the speaker is stating, but also how the speaker feels. This is used a

lot when your friend goes through a breakup or a loss and they need someone to talk to. Be there

for them is the overall motto for empathetic listening. The last one is critically thinking –

hearing, understanding, and judging the message. The most demanding form of listening. This is

used in court. When a jury needs to come up with an opinion, they are listening for critical

information (Champead 2017).

 Now that all the listening skills are known, you must decide

what listening skill you want to use given the circumstance you are in. If you

are using appreciative listening while your best friend just got dumped,

how do you think that is going to make them feel? Knowing the different

types of listening styles and using them in the right scenario is extremely

important for effective communication. A simple, “hey do you need

someone to talk to right now” can go so far for an individual who needs assistance.

Effective communication is essential right now during this pandemic and it can be

misinterpreted very easily now that almost everyone is communicating over the phone. A good

example of effective communication are the online lectures our college has hosted over the past

month. One of my classes were required to meet three times a week on the Zoom application just

so none of her students felt they were behind. She was very thorough with all of her lectures and

we were active listening to know what assignments were due for the week. While this class was

quite easy to plan out, another course I took this semester did not communicate as well, leaving a

lot of students very confused. This led to many emails sent to this professor asking multiple

questions for clarification on what was due, on what date.

Efficiency is closely related to effectiveness in communicating with others. Efficiency is

how hard you try to attain the product you want. Think about when you were a kid and you

wanted to hangout with your friends. You ask your parents if you could go out, and they say no.

You think to yourself, “well maybe if I ask later, they will say yes.” So, an hour passes, and you

ask again, and they still say no. You give it one more shot an hour later, and they say yes. You

are happy and shocked, but how efficient was that? How hard did you try to get what you

wanted? Do you feel guilty now? These questions should be considered before acting upon them.
Think about the relationship with your parents now; you know if you keep asking them, they will

eventually say yes, but is it worth it? The efficiency of your message cannot come off this strong.

You might really want to hangout with your friends, but if you ask your parents and they say no,

you must respect that answer. It is not very efficient to ask them multiple times for them to only

say yes once.

Take that same example and tie this into obedience. “Obedience occurs when you are told

to do something (authority), whereas conformity happens through social pressure (the norms of

the majority)” (McLeod 2007). I used to do this exact thing to my parents when they said no, but

I learned that their final word was it, no more after that. The authority they have over you is what

makes you conform to their rules. Being disobedient is not being efficient with communication.

The last and key term I will focus on is ethics in communication. Ethical communication

involves using values as a moral guide when you interact with other people (Bowen 2015). This

can be vastly different for every person. You might talk to someone who prefers talking about

politics while someone may not be. Being unethical during a conversation can lose all trust and

can ruin a conversation. Not only can it ruin a conversation, but if unethical communication is

continued, it can lead to lawsuits which is why it is always important to be ethically moral when

communicating. Sometimes, not communicating at all can be considered unethical. For example,

in 2010, Toyota released a car that had gas leakage problems. This led to many accidents and

even fatalities. Toyota knew about this but did not communicate it to the public. This led to

many lawsuits and the trustworthiness of the brand itself diminished (Ashe Pg.182). Toyota

handled the recall in a very well manner but still disrupted their brand for three years.

When you tie in all of these factors, you should be an extraordinary communicator. Being

good at one aspect does not mean that you do not have to learn the others. A lot of this is
common sense and you learn this with time, but it is important to get a full grasp on what

communication is based off. There are millions, and probably even billions, of conversations that

happen on a daily basis. If everyone understood these concepts, people would be thorough

communicators and would not have to worry about saying the wrong thing, or not saying

anything at all. The Coronavirus has taught me many new ways to communicate where all of

these techniques can still be used. Even though it may not be in person, you still get to leave your

impression on someone using your words. Writing this paper has also taught me a lot with

communication tactics. There are so many other tools you can use to help grow and maintain a

healthy conversation with an individual. Communication is something that will never die no

matter what our society goes through, we will always have a voice, and we will always be heard.
 Works Cited

Ashe, Carolyn. TOYOTA: AN EXAMPLE OF UNETHICAL COMMUNICATION. 1st ed., XVIII,

MARGARET A. GORALSKI, 2011, pp. 182–186.

Bowen, Shannon. “Ethics and Public Relations.” Institute for Public Relations, 9 June 2015,

instituteforpr.org/ethics-and-public-relations/.

Champead, Brandy. “5 Types of Listening - Training the Receiver.” Exploring Expression, 22

Mar. 2017, exploringexpression.com/2017/03/20/5-types-listening/.

Feeney, J. A., Noller, P., & Callan, V. J. (1994). Attachment style, communication and

satisfaction in the early years of marriage. In K. Bartholomew & D. Perlman

(Eds.), Advances in personal relationships, Vol. 5. Attachment processes in adulthood (p.

269–308). Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Holladay, S.J., & Seipke, H. L. (2007). Communication between grandparents and grandchildren

in geographically separated relationships. Communication Studies, 58, 281-297.

McLeod, S. A. (2007, October 24). Obedience to authority. Simply Psychology.

https://www.simplypsychology.org/obedience.html

Smith, Craig. “Fun Stats: 28 Interesting Emoji Statistics.” DMR, 2 Feb. 2020,

expandedramblings.com/index.php/interesting-emoji-statistics/.

Solomon, Denise, and Jennifer Theiss. Interpersonal Communication: Putting Theory into

Practice., 2013. Internet resource