Ridiculous and Impractical

Magic Items that are Fun

Volume Two

More magic items to confuse, vex, annoy, or pique the interest of

players that are taking their game too seriously. Also, some of them
are just plain goofy.

by ben boyarko

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, D&D, Wizards of the Coast, Forgotten Realms, the dragon ampersand, Player’s Handbook, Monster Manual, Dungeon Master’s Guide, D&D Adventurers League, all other
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the Coast. This material is protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America. Any reproduction or unauthorized use of the material or artwork contained herein is prohibited without the
express written permission of Wizards of the Coast.

©2016 Wizards of the Coast LLC, PO Box 707, Renton, WA 98057-0707, USA. Manufactured by Hasbro SA, Rue Emile-Boéchat 31, 2800 Delémont, CH. Represented by Hasbro Europe, 4 The Square,
Stockley Park, Uxbridge, Middlesex, UB11 1ET, UK.
Table of Contents
Arms and Armor......................................................................................................................................6
Glow-in-the-Dark Gauntlets......................................................................................................................6
Confetti Hand Crossbow............................................................................................................................6
Thorn Husk Helmet....................................................................................................................................6
Shield of Shame.........................................................................................................................................6
Split Personality Two-by-Four...................................................................................................................7
The Most Awesome and Powerful Sword of All Time ..............................................................................8
Dr. Crapulon's Can Opener of Doom.........................................................................................................8
Wondrous Items......................................................................................................................................11
The Cabbage of Health ............................................................................................................................11
Magnet Wand...........................................................................................................................................11
Ladle of Luxury........................................................................................................................................11
Juggling Pins of John the Dockhand........................................................................................................12
Snail Sail..................................................................................................................................................12
Gillywiggle's Good Time Snack Cakes....................................................................................................13
Frumpy Frank's Barbed Wire...................................................................................................................16
Lava Stone of Fal-Mi-Zar........................................................................................................................16
The Rutabaga of Ominous Foreboding....................................................................................................17
Glass Eye of Oration................................................................................................................................17
Ocarina of Evasion...................................................................................................................................17
Cousin Cody's Crazy Corn.......................................................................................................................18
Squirrel Pelt..............................................................................................................................................18
Towel of Sordid Tales..............................................................................................................................18
Frumpy Frank's Indelible Ink...................................................................................................................18
GillyWiggle's Best-Ever Hard Candies....................................................................................................18
That Fat Kid's Pink Scarf.........................................................................................................................20
Horseshoes of Doing Back-Flips.............................................................................................................21
Dr. Crapulon's Horn-Rimmed Glasses ....................................................................................................21
Frumpy Frank's Ice Cream Ball...............................................................................................................21
Very Impressive Bookshelf......................................................................................................................21
Stoneskin Sweater....................................................................................................................................22
Unearthly Quill........................................................................................................................................22
Fletcher's Larch Basket............................................................................................................................23
Tourmaline Tower....................................................................................................................................23
Adjustable Wrench...................................................................................................................................24
Traffic Cone.............................................................................................................................................24
Diplomat's Case of Surprising Credentials..............................................................................................24
Dental Tools.............................................................................................................................................25
GillyWiggle's Bodacious Bug Spray........................................................................................................25
Ant Tattoo.................................................................................................................................................26
Live Toad of Kalhala Swamp...................................................................................................................26
Byron the Bean Bag.................................................................................................................................27
Umbuku's Float Ring...............................................................................................................................28
Jubilee Jumper..........................................................................................................................................28
Jabber-Flap's Salt Cod of Perfect Pitch....................................................................................................28
Singing Potion..........................................................................................................................................29
Card Carrying Thieves' Guild Membership Card....................................................................................29
The Little Triceratops That Almost Could...............................................................................................29
The Jeweled Crab Brooch of Perpetual Low Back Pain..........................................................................29
Cursed Items...........................................................................................................................................31
The Corkscrew of Condemnation............................................................................................................31
Mirror of Self-Loathing...........................................................................................................................31
Shell of Surety..........................................................................................................................................32
Luffa of Indignation.................................................................................................................................32
Colander of Calamity...............................................................................................................................32
Sweaty Sweat-Man's Sweaty Sweat Band...............................................................................................33
Introduction
“No. Of course, this is a good idea.”
—Dr. Crapulon

Thanks for Reading

I was really impressed by just how
many people downloaded volume one of
these ridiculous and impractical magic
items. Thank you all.
I would never have believed that
anyone would actually be interested
enough to read even one page of this
weird stuff I make up.
SO here are some more magic items I
dug up. Again, some of these are from
20 years ago when I first started
playing D&D, some of them are new this
week. A couple of them were suggested
by my six year old son, and I fleshed
them out enough to make them playable.
We've got items in this volume that
range from the straight-up useless, to
the infuriatingly too powerful. And
sometimes they're even the same item.
And of course, Art Gillywiggle and
Frumpy Frank Przydatneski continue
their artificer's feud.

Shout out
Special thanks once again to Uri Long for his help on
the Live Toad of Kalhala Swamp, Frumpy Franks Ice
Cream Ball, and some of the random effects of
GillyWiggle's Bodacious Bug Spray.
 55-56................................................Unearthly Quill
The Rando Table for 57-58..................................Fletcher's Larch Basket
59-60...........................................Tourmaline Tower
Volume 2 61-62.........................................Adjustable Wrench
63-64....................................................Traffic Cone
65-67.....Diplomat's Case of Surprising Credentials
68........................................................Dental Tools
69-71................GillyWiggle's Bodacious Bug Spray
01-02............................Glow-in-the-Dark Gauntlets
72............................................................Ant Tattoo
03-04.................................Confetti Hand Crossbow
73-76..........................Live Toad of Kalhala Swamp
05..............................................Thorn Husk Helmet
77-78.......................................Byron the Bean Bag
06..................................................Shield of Shame
79-80......................................Umbuku's Float Ring
07-09.........................Split Personality Two-by-Four
81-82...............................................Jubilee Jumper
10-11. .The Most Awesome and Powerful Sword of
83-84..........Jabber-Flap's Salt Cod of Perfect Pitch
All Time
85-86................................................Singing Potion
12...................Dr. Crapulon's Can Opener of Doom
87-88....Card Carrying Thieves' Guild Membership
13.......................................The Cabbage of Health
Card
14......................................................Magnet Wand
89.............The Little Triceratops That Almost Could
15-16...............................................Ladle of Luxury
90-91. The Jeweled Crab Brooch of Perpetual Low
17-18..............Juggling Pins of John the Dockhand
Back Pain
19-20........................................................Snail Sail
92........................The Corkscrew of Condemnation
21-23...........Gillywiggle's Good Time Snack Cakes
93-94....................................Mirror of Self-Loathing
24-26..........................Frumpy Frank's Barbed Wire
95-96................................................Shell of Surety
27-28................................Lava Stone of Fal-Mi-Zar
97..............................................Luffa of Indignation
29................The Rutabaga of Ominous Foreboding
98-99......................................Colander of Calamity
30............................................Glass Eye of Oration
100........Sweaty Sweat-Man's Sweaty Sweat Band
31-32.........................................Ocarina of Evasion
33-34.............................Cousin Cody's Crazy Corn
35.........................................................Squirrel Pelt
36-38.....................................Towel of Sordid Tales
39-41...........................Frumpy Frank's Indelible Ink
42-45............GillyWiggle's Best-Ever Hard Candies
46.....................................That Fat Kid's Pink Scarf
47..........................Horseshoes of Doing Back-Flips
48................Dr. Crapulon's Horn-Rimmed Glasses
49-51......................Frumpy Frank's Ice Cream Ball
52..................................Very Impressive Bookshelf
53-54..........................................Stoneskin Sweater
Arms and Armor
“Careful. You could lose an arm with Confetti Hand Crossbow
that thing.”
A hand crossbow, with decorative triangular patterns
“Are you kidding. It's a can opener.”
carved into the stock. Appears to be in good working
Clink, clink-crunch. order, and of finer construction and higher quality
material than the average hand crossbow.
“Ahhhhhhhhhh!”
“Told you.”
The Confetti Hand Crossbow works like a normal
—Overheard in a
hand crossbow, except that any bolt fired from it
crowded dungeon.
becomes a burst of colorful paper confetti upon
striking its target. No damage is dealt, although the

The Good Fight target finds themselves dazed for a moment on a

These arms and armor are not great. successful hit. Targets struck with bolts fired from
They're dangerous to use, don't
the Confetti Hand Crossbow lose either one action
function as expected, or are just pure
comic relief. While these weapons and or one bonus action for each bolt that strikes them.
armor are potentially usable by a
clever trickster rogue, they're If hit many times in a row, this number of lost
downright hilarious in the hands of an actions may carry through over multiple turns.
overly-serious barbarian.

Glow-in-the-Dark Gauntlets Thorn Husk Helmet

A pair of fine steel gauntlets, well oiled and in good
condition. Narrow steel bands overlap to protect each
finger individually, granting near full range of motion.
Larger overlapping bands protect the back of the
hand and the wrist, while the palm is made of thick
leather for a comfortable grip.
The seed pod left over from the nut of a singular
magical tree, hidden somewhere in the Fey Wilds., the
Thorn Husk Helmet is just the right size to fit the head
of most medium sized humanoid creatures. It's light
brown in color, and thickly covered in fine, curved.
reddish thorns.

+1 to AC.
+2 to AC
Whoever wears the Thorn Husk Helmet cannot be
Whoever puts on the Glow-in-the-Dark Gauntlets
fooled by Minor Illusion, although their helmet will
immediately discovers that they are able to will the
become stuck to any cloth or fur that it comes into
gauntlets to glow with an unearthly green light,
contact with, requiring the wearer to spend one
which extends about as far as the light of a candle.
turn carefully removing the helmet from whatever it
So long as the wearer is in a dark place and the
is stuck against (Dexterity check DC 12), or else
gauntlets are glowing, the wearer gets -1 to Stealth
becoming grappled by the head by the source of
attempts, but +1 to Perception checks based on
the cloth or fur.
sight.
When Undead are within 1000' of the wearer, the
gauntlets glow of their own volition, whether or not
they are being worn. The light of the gauntlets will
always attract any Undead that can see them
towards them.
Shield of Shame assistance will be revoked if at any time the bearer
A small bronze buckler, about 14 inches in diameter acts in a way inconsistent with their alignment, fails
with the life-like bas relief face of an ancient and
decrepit human woman with closed eyes and a to assist a party member when they have the
frustrated frown on the front. opportunity, or says anything negative about the
personality of the Shield. The shield will only barely
+2 to AC
open one eye, scowl at the bearer, and remain
Whoever intends to use the Shield of Shame must
silent until a formal apology is made and the initial
make a successful Charisma check (DC 15) before
Charisma check is repeated.
they can actually use this shield to defend
themselves. The face of the old woman on the
shield will open its eyelids suddenly, revealing all
black eyes, burning with darkness. A successful
Charisma check impresses the shield, and she
Split Personality Two-by-Four
agrees to let you carry her into battle. A failed
A milled piece of pine lumber, measuring 1 ½ inches,
check displeases the shield, and she unleashes a by 3 ½ inches, by 4 feet. It appears to have several
scratch marks and indentations along its length, and a
tirade of all the many reasons why she would
suspicious stain near one end that looks like dried
never agree to defend the player or character. blood.
Most of these reasons center around the
1d6+1 bludgeoning damage, +1 to hit
weakness, cruelty, or laziness of the person. The
The Split Personality Two-by-Four is for melee
shield, if displeased, will make its handle disappear
purposes a +1 club.
– negating any bonus to AC if any attempt to use it
Any character or monster with an intelligence of 8
is made.
or greater, who is struck with the Split Personality
If the shield agrees to be used in battle, its eyes
Two-by-Four, must make a Wisdom save (DC 12).
close, and it is silent until a melee encounter
On a successful save, damage is treated normally.
occurs. In melee, The Shield of Shame will wait
On a failed save, the character or monster
until the bearer is struck once, and then will open
becomes temporarily charmed, believing
its eyes again. It will target the attacker most likely
themselves to be someone else for 1d6+1 turns,
to damage the shield's bearer, and begin yelling
until they are reminded of their true identity, or until
loudly at them something along the lines of: “How
they are attacked.
dare you attack this wonderful person! What is
The nature of the split personality that the
wrong with you!” This will function as a Charm
character or monster takes on is determined by
spell, convincing that attacker to ignore the shield's
rolling a 1d12.
bearer as a target of attack for three turns if the
attacker cannot make a spell save (DC 14). The
shield will continue to do this every turn, until there
are no more attackers targeting the shield bearer.
The Shield of Shame will only provide this
assistance in combat so long as it stays impressed
with the actions of the shield bearer. This
Roll Personality
1 A puppy that wants to play fetch.
2 A nine year old human girl name Sally
who wants to go home.
3 A very old halfling who can't remember
their own name, and thinks that they
have to harvest cabbages before it rains.
4 A drunken human man, who is certain
that you are an old friend whose name
he can't quite recall.
5 A fish.
6 A beautiful butterfly just emerging from
its cocoon.
7 A gruff dwarven leather worker who
thinks that a random individual in the
encounter has stolen their tools.
8 A Thieves' Guild bruiser who believes
that you owe them 10,000 gold pieces.
9 A baby who believes you to be its
mother.
10 A giddy teenager who has just won a
beauty pageant.
11 A very grateful and teary-eyed wizard
who thinks you have just found and
returned their lost cat.
12 Elvis Presley.
The Most Awesome and
Powerful Sword of All Time
A majestic longsword, gleaming polished steel, with
gold inlay of braided celtic weave patterns, joining
together to form an intricately wrought hilt, fashioned
to look like golden vines coiling together around a
gigantic ruby set into the pommel. The sword glows
with a golden light, and the faint sound of a celestial
choir echoes all around when it is lifted up.
2d12 +10 piercing or slashing damage, +10
to hit
The Most Awesome and Powerful Sword of All
Time was crafted by ancient gods to slay evil and
abolish injustice and wickedness in the material
plane.
Anytime it is used to strike a foe, that character or
monster is met with the overpowering good of the
magic that makes up every fiber of the sword.
Characters or monsters that have sustained
damage from The Most Awesome and Powerful
Sword of All Time must make a Charisma saving
throw (DC- the sword bearer's Charisma) or else
surrender, ever after promising to follow the sword
bearer's will and instructions in the eternal fight for
good.
Slight hiccup... Any time anyone attempts to use
The Most Awesome and Powerful Sword of All
Time in any combat situation, it disappears into a
unique pocket dimension, where it cannot be
located or retrieved in any way except by Wish.
The sword will reappear in its bearer's possession
after all danger of combat has passed.
Even if the sword is retrieved by use of Wish, it will
disappear again the moment anyone attempts to
use it in combat.
Dr. Crapulon's Can Opener of
Doom
A small, hand-held metal can opener, with a hand
crank, a 2 inch gap between its oddly shiny jaws,
and two, parallel, comfy gripped handles. It was
originally made for opening a specialty metal can
that those in-the-know will say was once quite
popular in a far flung city, before they learned that
ceramic crockware was so healthful.
1d6 + 4 slashing or bludgeoning damage, -3
to hit.
Although this item is not particularly useful for its
original intended use, it has proven capable of re-
purposing.
Any piece of metal that can be worked into the 2
inch gap between the can opener's tiny blades will
be rapidly sliced into fine razor-sharp ribbons as
this device begins to move under its own power.
Just turn the crank to activate.
The can opener can demolish a 10x10 foot area of
metal up to 2 inches thick per turn that it operates.
It can be stopped by force by grabbing the
handles, although doing so requires a Strength
check (DC 15), taking 2d6 slicing damage on a
failed save, or half as much on a successful save.
Otherwise the can opener will keep cutting until the
object or any metal that is contiguous with it is
demolished.
Dr. Crapulon's Can Opener of Doom must be used
as a two handed weapon to have this effect.
The ribbons of metal fall to the ground, and
become difficult terrain, where anyone passing
through their space must take 1d6 slashing
damage on a failed Dexterity save or if they do not
slow to half speed.
Additionally, if the metal that the the can opener
slices up is magical in any way, a small explosion
dealing 2d10 damage of a type appropriate to the
magical metal being destroyed engulfs a 20'
spherical area centered on the can opener.
Dr Crapulon's Can Opener of Doom can also be
used as a melee weapon – without the whole
'actually getting someone's armor wedged into the
business end of it' thing.
Wielded like a very short and oddly shaped club,
the can opener still does damage, with unintended
magical effects so long as the can opener strikes
some kind of metal. These magical side effects do
not occur if the can opener strikes wood, stone,
flesh, bone, or any other material.
Roll Effect
1 Sparks fly, doing no damage.
2 An oddly smelling black oil wells up from
wherever the can opener struck, creating
difficult terrain as per the Grease spell on
the 5 foot square area where the hit
occurred.
3 The can opener flies from its user's hand,
and begins bouncing around the room,
dealing 1d6+4 damage to the intended
target, plus one other random target
present in the encounter.
4 A horrible screeching sound emanates
from the contact between the can opener
and whatever metal it struck, dealing 1d4
thunder damage within a 10' radius area.
5 A circular hole is cut into the metal,
spilling forth about 10 gallons of a chunky
red substance from a pocket dimension.
Upon investigation, this substance turns
out to be pickled beets that are quite
good.
6 The can opener flips up into the air,
comically closing its handles on the nose
of the intended target, then opening
again, withdrawing, and poking its two
handles into the target's eyes, dealing
1d6+4 additional damage, and blinding
the target for one turn.
7 The can opener flies from its user's hand,
and selects the largest metallic object in
the room. It then begins to work in its
intended fashion on that object.
8 The can opener flies from the user's
hand, and seeks out a random piece of
metal on the user's person to cut up,
 dealing 1d6 damage to the user in the
process.
9 The can opener flies through the air,
ricocheting wildly off any walls, ceilings or
objects which it possibly can bounce off
of, all the while throwing sparks and
making a loud squeaking noise. Every
player or creature that does not succeed
on a Wisdom save (DC 10) is distracted
by this performance for one turn.
11 The can opener explodes, dealing 2d10
fire damage + 2d10 slashing damage in a
20' radius. It no longer exists.
12 The can opener vanishes from your hand,
replaced by a live duck wearing a string
of very shiny beads around its neck. The
beads are worth 10 GP, and the duck is
probably worth something as well. The
can opener reappears, buried in your
belongings one day later.

10 The can opener somehow erupts in

flames, trailing black smoke and making a
popping noise. This deals an additional
1d4 fire damage to both the target and
the user, and the can opener cannot be
used again until it is thoroughly cleaned.
Wondrous Items
“It's the most amazing thing! Did you
The cabbage contains 2d20 possible bites.
see that? Patient 957's face
tentacles just figured out the cell's
combination lock all on their own.
Oh. Also, we should probably be
Magnet Wand
running for our lives right now.” A thin metal bar, about ¼ inch thick, and 1 foot in
length, one end of which has been wrapped in a
—Arthur Gillywiggle
leather thong to form a rudimentary handle.

Whoever holds the magnet wand may use it to

Useful or Not?
The big question with a lot of these
wondrous items is whether or not
they're even worth it for the PC's to
keep them. They have some wonderful –
some might even say wondrous –
properties. They might turn out to be
very useful. But most of them are kind
of just a pain in the ass, too.
locate a random material. Tapping the magnet
wand against any solid material will activate the
wand, creating a weak magnetic pull towards any
significant amount of a random material within
1000 feet of the user. Roll to see what the Magnet
Wand pulls the user towards. If there is no source

So there's that. of the material rolled, the Magnet Wand simply

shakes from side to side for about one second.

Roll Material
The Cabbage of Health
A large cabbage, which appears to have been 01-10 Whatever material the magnet wand
harvested several weeks ago. It's aging poorly, and has was tapped against.
soft, squishy leaves, and a very pungent unpleasant
aroma. 11-13 Steel

14 Silver
Eating a single bite of the Cabbage of Health will
15-17 Gold
heal you 2d6+4 hp. But it's so gross that you won't
even be able to take a single bite without 18 Gemstones

succeeding on a Constitution save (DC 15). Each 19 Water

successive bite you take gets more difficult- (DC
20 for a second bite, DC 25 for a third bite, and so
on). This challenge continues to increase in
difficulty whether or not you succeed in taking a
bite of the cabbage, and does not ever decrease
due to the passage of time.
On a failed save, you vomit from the sheer
yuckiness of the Cabbage of Health, and cannot
attempt to eat it any more that day.
Goblins and goblinoids are immune to the
yuckiness of The Cabbage of Health, and
automatically succeed on this check every time.
20 Hostile Monsters
Ladle of Luxury
A copper soup ladle, holding about 6 ounces of liquid
when full, with intricate jewel and spark patterned
designs on the handle. The ladle appears to be brightly
polished, and will not corrode or dull in luster as
normal copper would.
The Ladle of Luxury requires an attunement period
of one short rest before its magical properties can
be used.
To use the Ladle of Luxury, draw a circle in the air
with the bowl end of the ladle, then dip the ladle
into this circle. The bowl end of the ladle will
disappear as it passes through this circle. When
the ladle is removed, it will be filled with 3d12,
bright, clear rhinestones, in an assortment of
faceted rectangle, oval, and round cabochons.
These are about 1 inch wide, and appear to be
worth about 10 GP each.
The Ladle of Luxury Rhinestones are not what they
appear, however. While they do not interact with
each other at all, they adhere permanently to the
first non-magical, non-living substance they touch,
flipping themselves so that the flat side of the
cabochon sticks to whatever material they have
encountered. The players' or characters' gear,
tools, equipment, and clothing will soon become
completely covered in these brightly sparkling low-
value gemstones. While the gems themselves
appear to be valuable, any object adorned with
them appears overly gaudy and slightly off. Though
items with Ladle of Luxury Rhinestones on them
will not be devalued by having the rhinestones,
their value will not be increased either.
Additionally, anyone wearing or carrying items that
have Ladle of Luxury Rhinestones visible on their
surface will get a -1 to any Stealth check. The
rhinestones can only be removed by casting
Remove Curse, at which point they evaporate into
steam, leaving a barely visible scar the shape of
their outline.
Juggling Pins of John the
Dockhand
A set of three brightly colored juggling pins. A thin
wooden baton, slightly thicker and heavier at one end,
and decorated with grooves and painted stripes.
Any person who is able to successfully juggle
these pins (Dexterity check DC 17), is able to use
the Juggling Pins of John the Dockhand to send a
message as if by Message to all individuals within
visual range (up to 1000' away on a clear day) who
are able to see color. Though the viewer cannot
explain why, they understand completely what
message is being communicated.
The original owner, John the Dockhand, used to
use these Juggling Pins to convey messages to
distant ships.
Unfortunately, messages sent in this manner
cannot be coded. The intended meaning of the
message, not the code or exact phrasing of the
message, is what is conveyed. So John the
Dockhand's smuggling career ended early, and he
no longer has legal access to his Juggling Pins.
Snail Sail
A single leather bracer, with the image of a snail shell
embossed on it.
Can only be worn by characters with a strength of
12 or greater.
Whoever puts on the Snail Sail will not be able to
remove it without casting Remove Curse first.
Wearing the Snail Sail has two unfortunate effects.
The wearer must take a 4 point penalty to every
initiative roll they make. And the wearer's normal
movement speed decreases by 5 feet per turn.
On the positive side, whenever the wearer is under
attack, the snail emblem unfolds rapidly to form a
magical shield on that arm, which adds +4 to their
Armor Class while the snail is engaged. If the
player ever drops below 5 hit points, the snail shell
grows thickly around their entire body, raising their
armor class to 25, and granting resistance to
piercing slashing and bludgeoning damage from
any source. If the player dies, the shell retracts
and the Snail Sail bracer falls off.
Should the wearer ever find themselves aboard a
raft, boat, or on water in which they do not wish to
swim, the Snail Sail will engage again. If onboard a
boat, the Snail emblem will grow to the largest
proportions that the wearer can comfortably hold,
and catch the wind, adding + 5 feet per turn in
movement speed to the vessel for each strength
point above 12 that the wearer has (minimum +5
feet per turn). If the wearer is in water in which they
do not wish to swim, the snail grows to Huge
proportions, creating a boat (which the wearer is
not-too-uncomfortably fused to by the forearm). A
large protuberance of the snail shell acts as a sail,
and the wearer finds that the can easily steer
(Dexterity check DC 10) by leaning their weight
from side to side.
Gillywiggle's Good Time Snack
Cakes
A paper box, containing one dozen small cakes,
individually wrapped in brown waxed paper. The
cakes themselves are sweet, moist, and oddly unable to
deteriorate as normal food would. The top of the box
shows an illustration of a small snack cake.
“GillyWiggle's Good Time Snack Cakes” is written in
large cursive letters across the top of the box. The
following text is written in small print below the
picture: “GillyWiggle's Good Time Snack Cakes are
sure to pick you up during your darkest moments.
Adventuring life can be hard, and you deserve a
snack... a snack cake that is! Delicious, and sure to put
a little pep in your step- GillyWiggle's Good Time
Snack Cakes are sure to give you the edge you need to
get back out into that cursed dungeon, enchanted
forest, or haunted castle, and triumph! Now made
with 'real food,' GillyWiggle's Good Time Snack Cakes
will also provide just enough calories to technically
avoid the accumulated exhaustion of constant
adventuring. And they aren't even poisonous or
anything!”
GillyWiggle's Good Time Snack Cakes can be
eaten to engage various, temporary, random,
magical effects. They also technically count as
rations, even though they contain negligible
amounts of actual food. The magical combination
of tree bark, crushed ants, extra-planar sea
sponges, and sugar looks and tastes remarkably
like food, and contains enough calories to keep
most non-meat-dependent races going for a little
while. You will be hungry again in an hour no
matter what. Roll to determine magical effect.
Roll Effect
01-03 Your stomach hurts very badly, and
you lose the next three turns to
explosive diarrhea. You can hold it
each turn on a successful Constitution
save (DC 12), but have disadvantage
on any other rolls made in that turn.
03-07 Your head itches slightly. Next turn you
sprout a pair of very sensitive
antennae, providing you with +4 to
Perception checks. These antennae
fall off in 24 hours, but mild itching
remains for 2d4 days afterwards.
08-11 Though your alignment does not
change, your personality does. You get
very grumpy and unpleasant to be
around. Anything you say or do comes
off wrong, and you get a -2 to all
Charisma checks for 24 hours.
12-17 Your body begins to glow with a soft
green light, functioning as a Light spell.
This effect lasts for 24 hours.
18-23 You feel very energetic. Your
movement speed doubles, you gain +2
to AC, have advantage on Dexterity
checks, and are able to take one extra
action per turn – as per the Haste spell.
This effect lasts for 1 minute, followed
by a wave of lethargy during which you
may not take any action.
24-30 You suddenly feel very sleepy, and
have disadvantage on every ability
check you attempt, though you also
inexplicably cause a severe electrical
shock to every hostile source around
you, dealing 2d8 lightning damage to
any hostile character or monster who
ends their turn within 10 feet of you, as
well as any traps, known or hidden
within 10 feet of you.
31-34 You skip instead of walking, adding 10
feet per turn to your movement speed,
but making you unable to slow to half
speed if you happen to pass through
difficult terrain.
35-39 You can't stop smiling. So much so that
your face begins to hurt, and a beam of
radiant energy shines out of your face
in a 15' cone, dealing 4d8 radiant
damage. Flammable objects not being
worn or carried in this area burst into
flames. Any player or creature in the
path of this cone may make a Dexterity
saving throw to take half damage.
40-44 You burp once, and then are subject to
the effects of the spell Gaseous Form
for 10 turns. Your equipment and
possessions become gaseous along
with you.
45-48 You become ravenously hungry. You
are able to not eat whatever you see
on a successful Wisdom save (DC 15).
On a failed save, you eat the first non-
living thing you see. Your new appetite
applies to both foods and non-foods.
Rocks, leather, wood, etc. all seem like
perfectly viable foods to you at this
time. You are magically able to chew
and digest these and any other items
you may attempt to eat – the only
limitation is what will fit into your
mouth. Your bite is so magically
enhanced that even dragonscales,
adamantine, diamond, or other
notoriously tough materials are not
immune to the power of your teeth.
Your bite now deals up to 4d10
damage, though you do not gain
proficiency with this as an attack.
49-50 You cough, wheeze, and cough up a
stream of 2d12 poisonous snakes, who
act according to your will for 3 turns
before disappearing.
51-54 You sneeze, and the sneeze is so
powerful that its effects match the Gust
of Wind spell.
55-58 Your eyes begin to itch, and you must
spend one action rubbing them. After
this, you are able to see in magical
darkness for 24 hours.
59-60 You quickly develop a rash that
spreads all over your body. For the
next 24 hours, or until Remove Curse
is cast, any flammable object that you
touch bursts into flames, though
equipment that you wore or carried
when you ate the snack cake is spared
this fate. All your attacks also do an
additional 2d6 fire damage.
61-62 You become immune to all types of
damage for three turns, after this
period, you may choose one type of
damage. You remain immune to the
selected type of damage for 24 hours.
63-65 You regain all your hit points, and heal
2d8 hit points on the first player or
creature that you touch.
66-69 Your feet begin to itch, and you must
remove any shoes or boots you are
wearing. Your toes each grow another
miniature full set of toes. All terrain is
now difficult terrain for you, though you
gain tremorsense within 120'. These
effects last for 24 hours.
70-73 You fart very loudly, creating a Stinking
Cloud which begins in an area directly
behind you. If you succeed on a
Constitution save (DC 15) you may
turn your body to aim this effect as you
choose.
74-75 This snack cake is banana flavored,
but has absolutely no magical
properties whatsoever.
76-77 You gasp for breath as your throat
starts to close up. It feels like you are
unable to breathe in any air, and if you
fail a Wisdom check (DC 15), you
spend your next action freaking out
about this. On a successful check, or
after your freak out, you will realize that
you do not need to breathe air
anymore. You can still talk normally,
but are able to hold your breath
indefinitely. This effect lasts for 24
hours.
78-81 You begin to sweat profusely, and the
sweat accumulates in a puddle in any
space in which you stand or sit for one
full turn, making a 5' square area very
slippery, as per the Grease spell. You
also take -2 to any attempt at climbing.
82-85 On your next turn, everyone thinks that
anything you say, or any action you
take, is a very funny joke. Anyone who
can see or hear you laughs loudly,
maniacally, and uncontrollably in
response. No one will follow any
instruction you give, or attempt to
dodge, attack you, or help you during
your next turn.
86-89 Your vision dims, and you become
both invisible, and intangible. You can
see no further than 30' in any direction.
You are also able to see 30' into the
astral plane. Though you are able to
pass through objects in the material
plane, you can now interact with
objects in the astral plane. Any
equipment worn or carried at the time
you ate the snack cake also becomes
invisible and immaterial. You cannot
impact or effect the material plane
through your body or your weapons,
though your voice and any spells cast
still work in the material plane. You
regain your normal material form after
10 turns. If you rematerialize inside an
object, player, or creature, both you
and the object, player, or creature take
2d10 force damage, and you choose
an adjacent open space to occupy.
90-92 You think you hear music in the
distance, a song you know but can't
remember the words to. This music
cannot be confirmed by anyone else.
93-95 You intuitively know one weakness of
the next hostile character or monster
you face.
96-98 The Snack Cake you have bitten into intended configuration requires a successful

contains several small pebbles, which Strength check (DC 14). Failed checks don't just

when spat out turn into 2d6 magic fail to get the wire where you want, but also deal

missiles (dealing 1d4+1 damage each), 1d4 piercing damage.

aimed at a target of your choice. If the Once it is in place though, any area that the wire

pebbles are swallowed, you will, at a spans between two magically activated

random time in the next 24 hours connections will function as a vertical Wall of Force

chosen by the DM, fart out 2d6 magic 10 feet in height.

missiles, aimed by the DM. These will Additionally, whenever any character or monster

ruin your pants. attempts to pass through, or even enters within

one foot of the magical wall that the wire creates,
99-100 You begin to sweat a slightly acidic
one of three things will happen.
sweat for 2d12 turns, dealing 1d4 acid
1- A strong electrical shock emanates from the
damage on contact with any non-
copper barbs, dealing 2d12 lightning damage to
mineral character, creature, or object,
the approaching character or monster.
and ruining any cloth or leather
2- The approaching character or monster is
equipment that you are wearing or
repelled, and thrown back 10 feet from the wire,
carrying, including your clothes.
while a grating voice emanating from the wire
taunts them, saying: “You messed with the wrong
wire, punk!”
Frumpy Frank's Barbed Wire
3- The approaching character or monster is able to
A spool of two-strand twisted galvanized steel wire,
with sharpened copper barbs spaced every foot or so pass through the area normally protected by the
along its length. The spool weighs about 100 pounds, wire with no difficulty whatsoever, and also gains
and when extended, it reaches about 200 feet. Once it's
initially extended, the wire proves unpliable and +4 Strength for the next minute.
difficult to control. Re-spooling it is nearly impossible.
A small red button can be found at the end of the
Upon close investigation the spool of wire has
wire inside the coil. Pressing it does absolutely
instructions printed on a small metal tag: “For safe
nothing. The wire can only be recoiled on a
fencing, choose Frumpy Frank's Discount
successful Strength check (DC 35), and the
Agricultural Supply, an Imprint of Frumpy Frank's
process takes three hours to complete. On a failed
All Purpose Magical Solutions Inc. Simply connect
save, the recoiling process deals 2d6 damage to
Frumpy Frank's Barbed Wire to a tree, building, or
each person within 10 feet of the end of the wire
large rock by placing the wire against the object
which is being coiled.
and saying the magic words – “Art GillyWiggle is a
dumb jerk.” Use this amazing wire to fence off any
Lava Stone of Fal-Mi-Zar
sized area you want. And removing Frumpy Franks
An oval shaped brown porous rock with a rough
Barbed wire is a snap, with our new Instant Recoil surface pocked by hundreds of tiny holes.
button found at one end of the wire.” Holding this stone in hand, a player or character
Actually arranging the wire into a useful or may use one action to point at any area of normal
non-magical earth and summon forth a 5 foot by 5
foot area of lava, 3 inches deep, which rapidly
begins to cool to the ambient temperature of the
area over the next three turns. This area may be in
any space of non-magical earth, up to 60 feet
away. Any character or monster who passes
through, ends, or begins their turn in this square of
lava takes 2d6 fire damage. Targets may make a
Dexterity save for half damage to jump away from
the lava into an adjacent space. Flammable
objects that are not being worn or carried in this
area burst into flames, and are consumed by the
lava if not extinguished during the first turn. By the
end of the third turn, the lava has solidified to a
rough, hardened stone slab, still quite hot to the
touch, but dealing no further damage.
On the downside, the Lava Stone of Fal-Mi-Zar
grows incredibly hot during the first turn of this
action, dealing 1d6 fire damage to the user. It also
becomes not-quite-liquid, and requires a Dexterity
check (DC 15) to maintain a grip on the stone. If
the stone is dropped (on a failed save) the 5 foot
by 5 foot square underneath the user of the Lava
Stone also becomes lava with the same rules. The
user does not get the opportunity to make a further
Dexterity save for half damage.
If the area where the user of the Lava Stone is
standing is any other type of ground than normal
non-magical earth, then the lava cools very quickly,
encasing the feet, shoes, or boots of the player or
character in the hot stone after damage is dealt.
This requires either a Strength check (DC 18),
loosing the shoes or boots, or breaking the stone
with a weapon or tool (AC 16, 30 hit points) to free
the player's feet.
Whether in hand, or on the ground, in the following
turn after the lava is summoned, the Lava Stone Of
Fal-Mi-Zar returns to its original shape and
temperature.
The Rutabaga of Ominous
Foreboding
A fresh rutabaga, which appears and smells
appetizing.
If any part of the Rutabaga of Ominous Foreboding
is consumed, either plain, or cooked with any
combination of other foods, it has strong effect on
all who consume it.
After eating the Rutabaga of Ominous Foreboding,
each person who ate even one bite must succeed
on a Wisdom save (DC 25) each turn for 10 turns,
or spend the next turn fleeing in fear from anything
or anyone who approaches or attempts to speak to
them. On a successful save, the person will be
afraid, lose any bonus actions they could normally
take on their turn, and startle easily, but will retain
control of their actions otherwise. This state
continues every turn until the Wisdom save is
successful.
Glass Eye of Oration
A realistic glass replica of a human eye, which may be
worn by any person missing a natural eye. The iris of
this eye is a warm brown color.
Any person who wears the Glass Eye of Oration
gains advantage on any attempt to captivate the
attention of another person with their voice. This
applies to any Charisma based skill check which
involves some element of voice- Persuasion,
deception, intimidation, bardic abilities such as
Song of Rest or Bardic Inspiration, as well as
Charisma based spell checks that involve any
verbal component.
Ocarina of Evasion
A white clay ocarina, which is capable of playing three
off-tune notes.

Playing this instrument always sounds extremely
bad, even to the person playing it. Even with the
use of advanced skill in wind instruments, even
with advanced skill in playing an ocarina, this one
just sounds terrible. Only bards are reliably able to
ignore the sound of this instrument without
consequences. All other players and characters
must succeed on a Wisdom save (DC 20) to ignore
the terrible sound of this ocarina.
Playing it for any longer than a few notes causes
anyone listening to move 5 feet away during every
turn that they successfully ignore the sound. If a
person has not been able to ignore the sound of
the ocarina, they move a minimum of 15 feet away
from the sound.
Bards may ignore the sound automatically without
rolling, and are not required to flee. It is assumed
that all bards have had to endure very bad music
at some time in their experience, and so are not
effected the same way as other characters.
Cousin Cody's Crazy Corn
A cloth bag filled with about 1 pound of dried corn.
Anyone who eats Cousin Cody's Crazy Corn must
make a Constitution save (DC 25). On a failed
save, the eater becomes delirious, laughs wildly at
anything, and begins walking in a random
direction, quickly becoming lost. This effect lasts
for 10 turns. On a successful save, the eater gets
bad gas, and is mildly uncomfortable for 10 turns.
Characters and players who are immune or
resistant to poison automatically succeed on this
save.
Squirrel Pelt
The tanned hide of a squirrel, nicely finished, and
fastened to a leather thong so that it can be worn like
a neckerchief.
Anyone who wears the Squirrel Pelt finds that they
are able to speak to and understand squirrels.
Squirrels don't necessarily have anything important
to say, but they do have a lot to say about acorns,
nuts, and where they might have hidden or could
hide acorns and other nuts.
The wearer of the Squirrel Pelt also gains +1 to
any Athletics check, and +2 to any Athletics check
related to climbing.
Towel of Sordid Tales
A light blue terrycloth towel, clean, and folded.
Whoever wears or carries this towel has a strange
effect on other players and NPCs. Other players
and NPCs, the first time they see the player
carrying the Towel of Sordid Tales must succeed
on a Charisma check (DC 18) or else
spontaneously tell the character the least desirable
or most embarrassing thing that they can
remember doing. This happens only once for each
player or character, once per day in which they see
the person carrying or wearing the Towel of Sordid
Tales.
While the nature of the spontaneously shared tale
differs from person to person, it will always be
something that the sharer would rather the towel
bearer did not know.
For a good aligned character, it may be the one
time that they stole something, or hurt someone
who did not deserve it. For an evil aligned
character, it may be a story about a time when they
showed weakness or caring though they didn't
intend to.
Frumpy Frank's Indelible Ink
A small glass bottle of black ink. A paper label on the
ink identifies it as Frumpy Frank's Indelible ink.
Writing or drawing anything on any surface with
this ink will have one of three effects, each lasting
for 10 turns:
1- Even a single drop of ink, applied to any
surface, creates an area of magical darkness
extending to a sphere with a 60 foot radius.
2- Even a single drop of ink, applied to any
surface, begins to flow into thick rivulets, branching
and spreading in all directions in a complex vine-
like pattern. These vines take on a third dimension,
become tangible, and act according to your will.
They can reach up to 30' away from your location,
and can manipulate up to 10 objects, or grapple up
to 8 medium sized creatures unless they beat a
Strength check (DC 14).
3- Even a single drop of ink, applied to any
surface, casts Hunger of Hadar, with a 30' radius,
centered on your location.
GillyWiggle's Best-Ever Hard
Candies
A small paper package of hard candies, individually
wrapped in brightly colored foil wrappers. Yellow
wrappers for butterscotch, red for strawberry, and
black wrappers for anise flavor. The package also has
the following text on the back: “GillyWiggle's Best-
Ever Hard Candies. Everyone needs a little sweet treat
once in a while, so refresh yourself with the taste of
GillyWiggle's! Now in three flavors to bring you all the
satisfaction of home, no matter where you find
yourself. Made with 100% certified* fair-trade,
organic ingredients, these are treats you can feel good
about. No matter what they're made of- and it's
definitely not earwig honey- these candies taste great,
give you magic powers, and have an almost negligible
catastrophic failure rate. You'll be enjoying these
delicious and helpful candies every day. For the great
taste that will probably not kill you- it has to be
GillyWiggle's”
Looking more closely at the package reveals tiny print
near the bottom which says: “* –certified by this shady
guy with mandibles that we met down by the bridge,
over near that portal to the elemental chaos were all
those giant, sentient, soul-eating earwigs keep
popping up to enslave humanity.”
In the package are 2d12 hard candies. Eating
these candies activates random, temporary,
magical properties. Also they do taste great, but
with an odd waxy aftertaste. All effects last for one
hour. Roll to determine effects.
Roll Effects
01-10 You find that every time you try to
speak, you are only able to say the
word “Watermelon,” Though you may
say it with any inflection you wish.
11-14 You find that you have a unique
sensitivity to sunlight, taking 1 radiant
damage for every turn you spend in
direct sunlight.
15-20 Over the next three turns, you grow to
two times you normal size, your
strength increasing by +4, and your hit
points doubling. Equipment worn or
carried does not transform with you.
Make a Dexterity save (DC 12) each
turn. If you succeed on any of these
saves, you manage to get out of your
gear before the force of your
transformation rips it apart.
21-26 You sprout 36 face tentacles, all
protruding from where your lips used to
be. These wriggle and writhe,
seemingly of their own volition, and
have some sensory properties that you
can experience but never explain. They
give you a +2 to any attempt at
Investigation.
27-31 Your hair grows quickly to extreme
 length, collecting in piles around you on
the floor. It then levitates in the air
around you, and acts as separate
appendages, capable of grabbing,
grappling, and assisting you in
climbing, holding, carrying, or any
activity for which you could normally
use hands. You are able to use your
magic levitating locks to take one extra
bonus action each turn, and to give you
+2 towards any attempt for which your
hair acts as an extra pair of hands. At
the end of the hour, your hair all falls
off, leaving you bald.
32-34 Either the top half or the bottom half of
your body becomes invisible, and
remains invisible even if you move,
speak, attack, or are attacked. +2 to
stealth.
35-39 Your skin takes on the color and
texture of your surroundings. +3 to
stealth.
40-59 Your skin becomes bright aquamarine
in color, with magenta stripes. -3 to
stealth (unless you happen to be in an
aquamarine and magenta striped
environment, in that unlikely instance,
you would gain+3 to stealth).
60-65 Your body becomes extremely soft and
squishy, and you find that you can
effortlessly fit through any space 1” or
larger.
66-69 You heal 2d6 hit points, this healing
remains even when the 1 hour period
has passed unless the hit points are
lost normally.
70-74 You gain 2d6 temporary hit points.
75 Your arms grow incredibly long, adding
10' to your reach, but making you
unable to reach your own face or body.
76-78 You Polymorph into a Tyrannosaurus
Rex. All equipment worn or carried
changes with you, though you will be
unable to use it until you transform
back.
79 You become completely blind in the
material plane, but are able to see
normally into the astral plane.
80-83 You can climb at your normal walking
speed without the use of your hands,
as if with Spider Climb, except that if
you are ever not upside down, you
become very dizzy, and must turn
upside down in order to reorient
yourself.
84-87 You become very sluggish and slow,
reducing your movement speed by ½.
The ground where you have passed
ripples in your wake, becoming difficult
terrain.
88-89 A large pair of insectoid wings grows
out of your back, and you become able
to fly at a speed of 20' per turn.
90-92 A swarm of bats erupts from any
pockets or openings in your clothes,
acting according to your instructions.
93-94 Each time you deal damage, you may
instead choose to take the total as an
addition to your hit points.
95-96 The ground around you becomes soft
and spongy, and you find that you and
 only you are able to use any normal
non-magical ground as a trampoline,
adding 10' to a vertical jump, and
receiving no damage from falls.
97-98 Your hands transform into two metallic
hooks, making you unable to use or
manipulate objects.
99-100 You experience an intense craving for
sardines, but otherwise, nothing
happens.
That Fat Kid's Pink Scarf
A pink scarf of very soft wool, IT is slightly warm to
the touch, and the material is wonderfully soft and
comfortable.
That Fat Kid's Pink Scarf keeps you warm in cold
weather. While wearing this scarf, your
appearance is also changed to look like a very fat
human child of about 10 years old, as if by disguise
self. You have the ability to alter the disguise a little
if you know any illusion magic of any type (Spells
from the School of Illusion). You will be able to
change the appearance to look like any specific fat
human child, but will not be able to alter these
basic characteristics of the scarf's disguise.
Horseshoes of Doing Back-
Flips
A set of four iron horseshoes, appearing fairly normal,
but of fine quality.
When these horseshoes are put onto a horse by a
ferrier, or any player or character able to properly
shoe a horse, their magical nature becomes
evident. As each shoe is fastened to the horse's
feet, it begins to glow a soft blue color. When the
last nail is driven through the last shoe, a bright
flash of light shines from all four shoes, and then
dissipates. The horse gains +4 Dexterity, +2
Intelligence, is able to speak common, and
becomes capable of doing a back-flip through mid-
air without performing an ability check.. The horse
will still have whatever training it had previously. If
it was a riding horse or a draft horse, it will still
consent to being ridden or pulling plows, carts, or
carriages. If it was a wild horse, or in any other way
not trained, it will now balk at receiving further
training. The horse will make up its own mind how
to use its new abilities. As a general rule, if the
horse was treated well by the PC or NPC who
owned it, it will become a cooperative helper. If the
horse was ridden too hard, not fed or watered, or
otherwise mistreated, it will become less
cooperative.
Dr. Crapulon's Horn-Rimmed
Glasses
A pair of horn-rimmed glasses, brown mottled frames
surrounding exceptionally clear lenses.
When worn, these glasses alter the wearer's sight
so that they have visual access to any
measurement of anything they can see. In practical
terms, this gives the player +2 to any attempt
involving aim, and +2 to any Insight or Perception
check that can reasonably related to a
measurement. It also allows the wearer to know
the number of remaining hit points, spell slots, or
ability score modifier of any player character or
monster.
Wearing Dr. Crapulon's Horn-Rimed Glasses for
more than one turn begins to give the wearer a
headache. For each turn beyond the first, the
wearer must succeed on a Constitution check (DC
15) or else take 1 cumulative psychic damage. So
on the first failed save, the wearer would take 1
psychic damage, but on the fifteenth failed save,
the wearer would take 15 psychic damage. owner told them. But they will continue to believe it
as long as they see the bookshelf even once within
Frumpy Frank's Ice Cream Ball that 24 hour period.
A round metal ball with a hinge on one side, and a
decorative latch on the other, about 10” in diameter.
Stoneskin Sweater
A very nice looking red wool sweater.
If Frumpy Frank's Ice Cream Ball is rolled in the
hands or on the ground for at least one turn, then
When first worn, this sweater is incredibly itchy.
the next time it is opened, it will contain about 1
The wearer must succeed on a Constitution save
quart of fresh ice cream of one of three flavors.
each turn or need to remove the sweater. The first
1- Chocolate ice cream. Dark brown in color, and
turn, this Constitution save is fairly difficult (DC 15),
delicious.
but it gets easier every turn (DC 14, on the second
2- Poop ice cream. Indistinguishable from
turn, DC 13 on the third turn, and so on). If the
chocolate ice cream, except by taste.
player is able to continue wearing the Stoneskin
3- Electric ice cream. This ice cream glows bright
Sweater for more than three turns their skin
blue, and deals 1d8+1 lightning damage to the first
becomes stony and resilient.
person who touches it.
On the third turn, the player gains resistance to
non-magical bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing
Very Impressive Bookshelf
damage, which lasts for 24 hours before their skin
A large and ornate bookshelf of intricately carved
dark wood, stocked with hundreds of leather bound instantly returns to its normal properties. As the
books of many different topics. player wears the Stoneskin Sweater for more
consecutive turns, further effects accrue. After the
The Very Impressive Bookshelf is very large,
fifth turn, the player must succeed on a Dexterity
measuring 10' tall by 25' long, and requires a
check (DC 18) in order to successfully remove the
collective Strength of 150 to be moved. While one
sweater. All such benefits and penalties disappear
book can be removed from the Very Impressive
after 24 hours.
Bookshelf at a time, the spaces created magically
Failing a Constitution save still overwhelms the
refill themselves with other books.
player with the urgent need to remove the sweater.
If a person looks at the Very Impressive Bookshelf,
Also failing the Dexterity save means that the
they will find a book on the topic of whatever
player frantically tries, but fails to remove the
subject they are interested at the time. Additionally,
sweater, consuming all their actions in the failed
any person who has taken a book off the Very
attempt, and wildly flailing about. Every successive
Impressive Bookshelf will whole heartedly believe
turn will be spent attempting to remove the
the first thing they are told by the owner of the Very
sweater.
Impressive Bookshelf, even if what the person is
After wearing the Stoneskin Sweater for 10
told seems entirely incorrect or wrong.
consecutive turns, the wearer turns to stone
Spending more than 24 hours out of view of the
indefinitely, and cannot move, speak, or cast
Very Impressive Bookshelf will allow that person to
spells. They will harden into stone in whatever
question their belief in whatever the bookshelf's
position they were last in. The sweater itself cannot
be damaged by non-magical weapons, and cannot 1-2 Couatl
be removed without first being cut apart into
3-4 Planetar
pieces. The person will return to their normal form
if Remove Curse is cast. 5-6 Solar

Turns Effect Con save

DC
Fletcher's Larch Basket
1 none 15
A large wicker basket, 2 feet in diameter and 3 feet
2 none 14 tall, with a few smaller basket pockets woven into the
inside. A few straight sticks, feathers, glue, and a few
3 damage resistance 13 arrow heads occupy these various pockets. There are
enough materials inside the basket to make 1d12+4 ,
4 +1 to AC 12 +1 arrows.

5 +2 to AC 10 As long as a person is touching this basket, they

6 +3 to AC 9 have the skill of fletchery, knowing how to make

7 +4 to AC, -1 to Dex 8
8 +5 to AC, -2 to Dex 7 remember what sort of resource they might need to
9 +6 to AC, -3 to Dex 6 acquire in order to make arrows when they return
10 Turn to stone –
Unearthly Quill
A large iridescent plume of an unknown bird, skilfully
cut into a quill pen.
When used to write with, the words written with the
Unearthly Quill begin to illuminate from within the
paper. When the entire passage or message is
written, the light begins to glow more strongly, and
the words float off of whatever surface they were
written on.
Within one hour of game time a Celestial of some
sort will arrive, controlled by the DM, having
learned whatever was written with the Unearthly
Quill. The Celestial may offer help, may be upset at
being distracted from their other activities, or may
simply be curious. Roll 1d6 to determine the type
of Celestial summoned in this way.
arrows. As soon as the person stops touching the
basket, they loose the skill, though they can still
to touching the basket. For example, if a person
needs to find straight sticks, they will still know
what kind of wood, what shape, etc. they are
looking for, although they will not be able to
transform those sticks into arrows without first
returning to touching the basket.
For each arrow constructed beyond those made
from the materials already in the basket, 1d4 hours
must be spent gathering proper materials (sticks,
feathers, glue, and stone or metal arrowheads.
Additionally, one hour must be spent crafting each
arrow. Any arrow made while touching Fletcher's
Larch Basket is a +1 arrow. Additionally, roll 1d12
to determine the further properties of arrows made
in such a manner.
Roll Arrow Property
1-4 none

Roll Type 5-6 +1d6 fire damage upon impact

7 4d8 hp of creature struck fall asleep as
if by Sleep
8 Any creature struck with this arrow
gains 1d6+1 Strength for 10 turns
9 Any creature struck with this arrow
gains 2d6+2 hit points
10 Paralyzing poison, immobilized for 3
turns on failed Con save (DC 15)
11 Any target struck levitates 3 feet above
the ground for 3 turns
12 Any target struck with this arrow
becomes invisible until is attacks or
casts a spell
Having Fletcher's Larch Basket on one's person
conveys a -4 penalty to Stealth. It is bulky, and
requires two hands to move without spilling its
contents.
Tourmaline Tower
A black, hexagonal, prismatic tourmaline gemstone,
about 1 inch long, and highly reflective along its
vertical striations, though faintly translucent through
its long axis.
This gemstone requires an attunement period of 4
shot rests. Once attuned to, the Tourmaline Tower
can be placed on the ground in a certain way to
activate its magical power.
When it touches the ground, the gemstone begins
to grow in size, with details emerging from its
crystalline structure. It grows into a small tower,
about 20 feet high, and 10' in diameter. A heavy
door grows in one side, facing the user. This door
can be entered, and locked from the inside by as
many as 8 medium sized creatures. Just inside
the doorway is a flight of stairs that wraps around
the inside of the prismatic black walls. These open
out into a second floor, where a small window
peers out of each of the hexagonal faces of the
tower. A larger opening in the ceiling of this second
floor room can be climbed through on a successful
Athletics check (DC 12) to get to the roof of the
tower.
If the user wishes, they may pick up the tower from
the outside, causing the tower to shrink
immediately to its smaller form. Any objects inside
the tower when it shrinks will still be there when it
recovers its full size. Any living things in the tower
when it shrinks will not notice the change, other
than the fact that the doors and windows grow
closed by crystal, and it becomes very dark inside
by magical darkness. Living things may stay inside
the shrunken tower for up to 10 hours ( – 1 hour for
each medium sized creature beyond the first, or –
½ hour for each small sized creature beyond the
first.) After this time, the air inside is depleted, and
ordinary living creatures will suffocate.
Each of the 6 walls of the Tourmaline Tower has a
thickness of 6 inches, an AC of 18, and 360 hit
points. If any wall is reduced to 0 hit points, it
shatters, and the tower can no longer be shrunken
to its smaller size. If a tower wall is shattered from
inside by a trapped living creature, the tower
spontaneously grows to its full size as the wall
shatters.
Adjustable Wrench
A small steel adjustable wrench with arcane symbols
in raised letters on the handle, which appear to shift
and change when anyone attempts to read them.
Simply having this wrench in one's possession
gives the owner a +4 to any attempt to disarm a
mechanical trap. It also confers a -2 penalty to
detecting magical traps.
Traffic Cone
A bright orange wooden cone standing up on a square
base.
The Traffic Cone is a magical item that can be
placed in any road or path. Anyone (other than the
person who placed it in the road or path) will not be
able to move past the Traffic Cone without
succeeding on a Charisma check (DC 14). They
will need to either turn around, take a detour, or
wait for a minimum of three turns before attempting
to move past the Traffic Cone again.
Whoever placed the Traffic Cone may walk past it
with impunity, or may pick it up, move it to a
different location, etc.
Diplomat's Case of Surprising
Credentials
A fine leather-covered chest, weighing about 80
pounds, and decorated with engraved brass banding.
And containing 10 cases for maps and scrolls, 50
sheets of paper, 20 parchment envelopes, a lamp, ink,
perfume, soap, a few different quills, two flasks of oil, a
staple remover, and sealing wax. The case has two
small wheels on one end, and a handle on the other
end.
Whoever owns the Diplomat's Case of Surprising
Credentials, will spend the first three consecutive
turns during which they have the opportunity
engrossed in attuning to the object by looking
through the various scrolls and papers inside.
Once this attunement period has passed, they will
be able to use its magical powers.
The Diplomat's Case of Surprising Credentials can
be used to gain access to guarded locations or to
take command of any lawfully aligned creatures or
characters. It can be searched through for 1d6
turns to yield a piece of paper, written in a
language that the target can understand, claiming
that the bearer of the Diplomat's Case has the
rightful authority to enter any location or require the
help or services of the target.
During the period of this search, the bearer of the
case must make a Charisma check against the
intended target's Intelligence ability score each
turn, or else the attempt to locate the documents
will fail.
Dental Tools
A set of tiny files, picks, rasps, syringes, and pliers,
similar to Thieves' Tools, but clearly for a different
purpose.
Anyone with a proficiency in Medicine gains +4 to
any attempt at dental surgery, repairing cavities,
extracting teeth, etc. Additionally, on a successful
Medicine check, the procedure not only works, but
is performed painlessly.
Having used Dental Tools effectively, even once,
will permanently add +1 the user's Medicine
proficiency bonus.
GillyWiggle's Bodacious Bug
Spray
A tin spray can, with a small brass nozzle on the top.
On one side of the can is written, “An all new protective
product for busy adventurers on the move! Mosquito
bites got you down traversing the swamps? A carpet of
cockroaches ruining you dungeon crawl? Ants in your
kitchen? GillyWiggle's Bodacious Bug Spray is the
answer for you! After years of research, we've finally
stumbled on the perfect solution to getting rid of
unwanted insect pests! From the name you know and
trust- GillyWiggle's- You just know it's probably going
to work!“
GillyWiggle's Bodacious Bug Spray can be
sprayed into the air or onto any surface. Wherever
GillyWiggle's Bodacious Bug Spray is sprayed,
insects appear. Enough in the can for 2d12 uses.
Roll to determine what kinds of insects appear.
Roll Effect
01-06 A Giant Scorpion appears, with a
small sign that says “Rent-a-Mount”
 fastened to a saddle on its back. It turns.
cooperates as your mount for 24
62 An Ant Tattoo appears (see below).
hours.
63-63 A Giant Fire Beetle appears and
07-08 A Swarm of Spiders appears that
takes a single command.
immediately attacks you.
65-69 A swarm of Mosquitoes appears in a
09-10 1D4 Phase Spiders appear and
10' radius area, and distracts
defend you and your party.
anyone in its area unless they
11-12 1D4 Phase Spiders appear and succeed on a Constitution save (DC
attack you and your party. 12).

13-19 A single Giant Spider appears, 70-74 A Phase Spider appears and attacks
barbecued with a tangy the nearest target.
southwestern chili sauce.
75-77 An Ettercap appears and attempts to
20-22 A swarm of Cockroaches appears, lasso the nearest target.
and infests the nearest structure for
78-85 A swarm of butterflies appears and
the next 10 years.
is very pretty as it flies away.
23-29 One really loud and distracting
86-89 A confused Thri-kreen appear in an
cricket appears, giving -1 to all
open space 20' away. Psychically
Intelligence checks performed within
asks if this is the way to the
20 feet of it for the next 24 hours.
bathroom, and then wanders away.
30-38 A swarm of fireflies appears, having
90-93 A Giant Spider appears and
the effects of a Light cantrip for the
attempts to trap one hostile monster
next hour before they disperse.
or creature in a web.
39-44 You get head lice, which itch and
94-98 A Giant Centipede appears with a
are uncomfortable until Lesser
small sign that says “Ride me! Ride
Restoration or Remove Curse is
me!” affixed to a saddle on its back.
cast.
It will cooperate as your mount for
45-49 A single ant appears, and then the next 24 hours. This Giant
wanders away. Centipede has a moving speed of
40' per turn, as well as a climbing
50-59 A swarm of ants appear, and follow
speed of 40' per turn. If the Giant
a single command to the best of
Centipede does climb, you must
their ability.
make a successful Strength check
60-61 A very large swarm of crickets
(DC 12) or else fall from the saddle
appears in a 10'radius area. Their
and sustain 1d6 bludgeoning
chirping is so loud that it acts as the
damage.
spell Thunderwave each turn for 10
99-100 A Carrion Crawler appears and
guards the location from anyone
other than you and your party.
Ant Tattoo
A slip of paper, with instructions printed on one side,
and an image on the other side made of some gummy
material similar to paint. The image is a realistic
representation of a very large ant.
If applied to the skin with a damp cloth or rag, the
image will transfer to the skin, where it will remain
for one day, or until the wearer bathes or is
submersed in water. This temporary tattoo grants
ant-like strength to the wearer for one hour
immediately following application.
As long as the Ant Tattoo remains dry, it can be
saved for use at a later time. If it ever becomes
wet, it must either be applied immediately, or it will
be destroyed. Applying a temporary tattoo can be
tricky. It cannot be placed on clothes, or on skin
with hair growing from it, and must be applied
directly to smooth skin. On a successful Wisdom
check (DC 10), the tattoo will be applied properly,
granting +6 to Strength for one hour. On a failed
save, the Ant Tattoo is destroyed.
Live Toad of Kalhala Swamp
A small wooden toad, 4” in diameter and light brown
in color, in a decorative wooden box, lined inside with
green silk.
Upon close investigation, a small tag, embroidered
into a corner of the box's lining reads “Keep Dry.”
The following information should not be shared
with PCs until the conditions are met in game for
the following properties to become activated. The
Live Toad of Kalhala Swamp has several magical
properties:
If the Live Toad of Kalhala Swamp is every gotten
wet with water, it will quickly become variegated in
new shades of brown and dark green. The Live
Toad attempts to jump away from you, and you
must succeed on a Dexterity save (DC 20) to hold
on to it, or else it escapes and seeks out liquid
water.
The Live Toad can only be caught on a successful
Dexterity check (DC 30) if is able to move.
The Live Toad had 10 hit points, and is immune to
all forms of damage except Cold, Necrotic, and
Radiant damage. It is resistant to these three types
of damage. It has a hopping speed of 20' per turn,
a swimming speed of 20' per turn, and can dodge
up to 10' as a reaction.
If it ever becomes completely dry (more than 10
turns out of contact with liquid water), it will revert
to its wooden form, and lose the ability to move.
The Live Toad is not able to move more than 100'
away from the person who got it wet while in its
mobile state. It can accurately sense the presence
of liquid water, and will always move toward water
within this 100' radius area.
For every turn that the Live Toad remains in
contact with liquid water, it summons 2d6
physically identical but mundane toads, which have
the same speed, 2 hit points, and none of the
damage immunities or resistances. All these toads
hop towards the person who was responsible for
getting the Live Toad wet in the first place. If
unable to get close enough to that person to touch
them, or if that person dies, the identical toads
form a swarm that moves about at random in
search of food. While they prefer insects,
vegetation and small animals will be eaten as well.
If used wisely, the Live Toad of Kalhala Swamp is
a boon to a dexterous frog farmer, but it can
quickly get out of hand.
Byron the Bean Bag
A small, square, red beanbag, 3” on each side.
Byron the Bean Bag is capable of altering its
weight of its own volition, and capable of
telepathically understanding the equivalent of
speech within 30'. It is unable to communicate
telepathically, and will not be able to understand
unspoken thoughts, or thoughts that are not aimed
directly at it.
Byron the Bean Bag initially weighs only a few
ounces, but if its appearance, value, or importance
is ever belittled or dismissed, it is able to make
itself weigh up to 4,000 lbs.
It has a neutral alignment, but a vengeful
disposition. If the bean bag perceives a comment
as an insult, it will grow in weight to be about 80
lbs, ideally pinning a character's hand to the
ground, or crushing their foot, and dealing 1 hp of
damage. It deals 1d4 bludgeoning damage for
each 200 lbs it weighs upon impact.
If a player or character has a good relationship with
Byron the Bean Bag, carrying the bean bag on
their person or in their pack will give the person +2
Dexterity as the bean bag changes weight subtly to
hep the person stay on balance. It can also be
used as a bludgeoning ranged weapon, but upon
retrieval it will remain very heavy, attempting to
convey the fact that it does not wish to be used as
a weapon. If used as a weapon more than three
times in a day, Byron the Bean Bag will become as
heavy as possible and remain so until the player
leaves it alone.
Though it is immune to most types of damage, it
can be easily destroyed by piercing, slashing, or
fire.
Umbuku's Float Ring
A silver ring, with an inscription of lines and grooves
around the inside edge. Several bumps and
protrusions around the outside of the ring seem to
never sit comfortably on the hand.
Using Umbuku's Float Ring purposely requires an
attunement period of one long rest. Otherwise,
wearing this ring causes the effects to happen in a
totally random fashion, chosen by the DM.
Putting on the ring activates the ring's abilities.
Umbuku's Float Ring, when activated, causes an
invisible disc to move according to the wearer's
will, an effect similar to Tenser's Floating Disc. This
is like the crumby, outdated, Beta-max version.
The invisible disc is only a foot in diameter, and
can only hold 10 lbs. Otherwise it functions just like
Tenser's Floating Disc most of the time.
For any effect intended, roll a 1d8. If not yet
attuned to Umbuku's Float Ring, roll 1d4+4 when
the ring is put on.
If the disc hits something at full speed, it causes
1d4 bludgeoning damage.
Roll Effect
1-4 Disc works as intended.
5-6 Disc slowly lowers to the ground, and
then rapidly moves in small circles
until dismissed.
7 Disc moves very fast in a random
direction, left, right, towards you,
away from you, up, or down.
8 Disc flies straight up into the air, then
straight down towards your head,
dealing 1d4 bludgeoning damage to
you.
Jubilee Jumper
A suit of fancy clothes, specifically, a sparkly lilac
sequin track suit, with a lime green racing stripe, sized
for medium sized creatures.
Wearing this suit of clothes draws a lot of attention
to the wearer. Gain +2 to all attempts to Distract,
Intimidate, Perform, or Persuade. Take a -4
penalty to all attempts to Hide, use Stealth, or
Perception based on sight. The Jubilee Jumper is
not strictly magical. It turns out that it's just very
difficult to ignore anyone wearing a lilac sequin
track suit.
Jabber-Flap's Salt Cod of
Perfect Pitch
A small wooden box, packed with dry straw, salt and
dried chunks of cured codfish. On the top of the box is
printed the words, Jabber-Flap's Salt Cod- Now with
Extra Salt!
These dried rations are extremely salty and eating
them will require players or characters to drink
extra water as soon as possible, progressing one
level of exhaustion upon failing to do so.
Anyone who eats Jabber-Flap's Salt Cod gains the
ability to accurately mimic any sound they have
heard before, so long as they do so within the next
three turns.
The box contains 2d6 pieces of salt cod. Though
they will go bad within 3 days of opening in hot or
damp environments, they will keep indefinitely in a
cool dry place.
Singing Potion
A sparkling yellow liquid in a cut crystal vial. The
potion tastes of honey, fresh fruit, and sunlight.
The Singing Potion confers the ability to sing very
well, and fills whoever drinks it with an
uncontrollable urge to sing very loudly. This effect
lasts for about 6 hours. The drinker may sing any
song to which they know the words, or will
otherwise sing a wordless original song that ends
up being fairly catchy.
The Singing Potion is incredibly addictive, and
whoever drinks one will end up spending time and
energy the following day attempting to acquire
more. This addiction diminishes each day during
which no Singing Potions are available. Any
Singing Potions acquired by an addicted person
will be jealously guarded, relished when
consumed, and protected at nearly any cost.
Singing Potions can be purchased in some large
city or magical item markets for about 200 gp per
vial.
Card Carrying Thieves' Guild
Membership Card
A thin but sturdy adamantine metal card, imprinted
with the name and home location of a Thieves' Guild
or Crime Family, as well as the name or alias of a
specific rogue, though not necessarily the rogue who
has the card.
While the Card Carrying Thieves' Guild
Membership Card can be used for identification
purposes, this is not it's main purpose. It can be
used, by any person proficient with Thieves' Tools,
to give +2 to any attempt to open any mundane
mechanically locked door.
The Little Triceratops That
Almost Could
A tiny clockwork triceratops, made of polished brass
and gemstone components, with a winding key
sticking out of its back, about 6 inches long.
Once it has been wound for one turn, The Little
Triceratops That Almost Could can be set down on
the ground and given any simple instructions that
can be conveyed in three words or fewer. The
triceratops, by walking, using its horns as levers or
prying tools, and stepping on things, will attempt to
act out those instructions over the next three turns.
It has a walking speed of 5 feet per turn, a Strength
of 5, and 8 hit points.
The Jeweled Crab Brooch of
Perpetual Low Back Pain
A beautiful golden brooch, encrusted with several
small rubies, diamonds, and emeralds, and fashioned
to look like a living crab, three inches wide.
Whoever puts on The Jeweled Crab Brooch of
Perpetual Low Back Pain will not allow it to be
removed unless Remove Curse is cast first. They
will become overly proud and possessive of the
brooch, and will regard it as their finest and most
beautiful treasure. They will display it proudly on
their clothes and draw attention when the
opportunity presents itself. Though they will be
aware of the fact that the brooch causes many
undesirable side-effects, they will still regard it as
incalculably valuable and important to keep it on.
So long as a player or character wears The
Jeweled Crab Brooch of Perpetual Low Back Pain,
they will have a persistent pain in their lower back.
This will give a -4 to any attempt to use the
Athletics or Acrobatics skills, and a -2 to Stealth.
Their ability to concentrate will also become
diminished, with a -2 applied to any Intelligence
check.
The wearer will also gain the ability to accurately
appraise the value of any precious gemstone,
metal, or art object, though they do not need to
share their appraisals accurately.
Cursed Items
“You say the product has a problem? I
don't see any problem. So a few
people died in testing. That's
normal.”
—Frumpy Frank
A Slow DM Week
One of my favorite go-to DM strategies
when I've been lazy and forgot to
prepare an epic adventure for the PCs
is to just give them a horribly cursed
item and see how they deal with it.
It's more interesting than fighting
through that exact same dungeon full
of goblin raiders and carrion crawlers
again, even if it is cheaping out on
the whole forethought and planning
thing.
The Corkscrew of
Condemnation
A small, folding, steel corkscrew, with a jade inlaid
handle.
This device can be used for opening bottles of
wine, and cannot be discarded without casting
Remove Curse first. Any time a bottle of wine is
within view, the owner of the corkscrew will
involuntarily offer to open the bottle.
Any time a bottle of wine is opened with the
Corkscrew of Condemnation, the owner of the
corkscrew is forced to make a Charisma check
(DC 25). On a failed Charisma check, the owner of
the corkscrew badly insults whoever selected or
owns the bottle of wine, demeaning them, and
suggesting that they must be incompetent of
choosing wine on their own. These insults have a
magical ability to taunt and provoke, and anyone
who is the target of such an insult must succeed on
a Wisdom check (DC 15) or else be driven to
physically attack the owner of the corkscrew with
whatever object or weapon is nearest at hand, or
with an unarmed strike.
On a successful Charisma check, the owner of the
corkscrew says nothing, but simply purses their
lips and involuntarily scowls at anyone who drinks
the wine that this corkscrew has opened.
Mirror of Self-Loathing
An oval mirror, two feet wide and four feet tall,
weighing about 80 pounds. The frame is made of plain
black painted wood, and the back is protected with a
thick felt padding and thin wooden strips.
Looking into the mirror of self-loathing is a terrible
task. Any player who fails a Wisdom check (DC
20), will find themselves unable to look away from
their own reflection. Reflections in the mirror at first
appear similar to a person's actual appearance. In
the first turn, the mirror even grants Truesight to
whoever looks into it, valid for anything they might
wish to notice about themselves, and only on that
first turn.
On each successive turn, the Wisdom check (DC
20) may be repeated to try to look away. Also on
each successive turn, flaws and imperfections in
the reflection become exaggerated. Until the player
looks away, it's not possible to consider that the
reflection may be inaccurate. The continuously
emphasized flaws in appearance are identified with
completely, and are honestly believed to be your
own reflection. This trend progresses until the fifth
turn. By this point the image in the mirror is wildly
inaccurate, resembling a deformed aberration
which only loosely resembles the appearance of
the viewer.
For each turn after the fifth, whoever still finds
themselves unable to look away from the Mirror of
Self-Loathing will believe themselves to appear as
the mirror presented for one day after seeing the psychic damage, and will never kill the owner of
grotesque reflection per additional. the shell, but will remove hit points, and is capable
So if a person was unable to look away from the of knocking them unconscious.
mirror for 10 turns, they would believe themselves
to be a stomach-curdling abomination for the next Luffa of Indignation
five days. A dry, lavender scented luffa, with a small, shiny,
purple ribbon on it..
Believing this leads the player or character to think,
speak, and behave differently for that period of Whoever picks up this luffa first must succeed on a
time. Wisdom check (DC 12) or else become maniacally
obsessed with getting to bathe with the Luffa of
Shell of Surety Indignation at the first convenient opportunity. This
A large, brightly colored, conch shell.
check is repeated daily.
Though Remove Curse does not need to be cast to
Whoever touches this conch shell will not be able
decide against this course of action, casting
to discard it unless Remove Curse is cast first.
Remove Curse will make the owner of the Luffa of
The owner of the Shell of Surety will believe that
Indignation automatically succeed on the next
any perception check they make is successful.
repeated Wisdom check.
Whether or not their Perception checks are
Whoever uses this luffa to bathe with, will become
successful, they will believe that whatever they
outraged over the next situation that they
have seen or not seen is the whole truth of what is
encounter, whether it is a positive, negative, or
or is not present, and will not attempt further
neutral situation.
Perception checks in that location unless they
If the player is offered breakfast, attacked, or
sustain damage.
simply notices that there are clouds in the sky, they
Anything the owner of the Shell of Surety says, is
will respond with outrage. They will also jealously
said with extreme confidence, granting that player
guard the Luffa of Indignation, and refuse to let
a +3 to all Persuasion and Deception checks.
anyone else take it away from them.
The character will actually believe their own
They will be driven to find excuses to bathe with
deceptions, though, and will quickly lose sight of
the luffa at least twice per day, more if the
the truth in any situation in which they have used
opportunity presents itself.
Persuasion or Deception skills.
This will make them very clean, and magically
The owner of the Shell of Surety will also be
remove any diseases or poisoning after the second
exceptionally vulnerable to illusions. They will not
use of the luffa.
be able to distinguish illusions from reality under
any circumstances, even when the illusions are
demonstrated to be merely illusions, the owner of Colander of Calamity
the shell will wholeheartedly believe the content A metal bowl with hundreds of tiny holes punched in
all sides in a geometric pattern.
portrayed by the illusion, even sustaining damage
from illusory sources of damage as if they were Whoever touches this colander has an
real. Damage taken in this way is considered overwhelming desire to wear it on their head. On a
successful Wisdom save (DC 15), the player or
character is able to resist putting the colander on
their head.
On a failed save, the person wears the colander as
a hat, and instantly begins to lose their mind. The
Colander of Calamity cannot be removed for longer
than one turn unless Remove Curse is cast first.
Though it can be knocked off, or can fall off, the
wearer will do anything, even risking their life to get
it back.
The wearer's alignment becomes chaotic, and they
begin to call everyone they meet “Ham-bone”.
They get disadvantage on any non-Charisma
related ability check. The wearer of the Colander of
Calamity also gets +2 to their Charisma (no
maximum). Additionally, any attack made by the
wearer that misses, automatically hits the nearest
available target within 60' other than the wearer,
sometimes through wild contortions of the wearer if
necessary.
Sweaty Sweat-Man's Sweaty
Sweat Band
A stretchy, white, terrycloth headband, with red,
yellow, and blue lateral stripes.
Any person who puts on the Sweaty Sweat-Man's
Sweaty Sweat Band will be unable to remove it
unless Remove Curse is cast first.
As soon as the person puts on the sweat band,
they begin to sweat profusely. That person must
drink water every hour or become exhausted.
Wearing the Sweaty Sweat-Man's Sweaty Sweat
Band also gives +2 to any Perception check based
on sight.