Death Journey

Thoughts flying and tears flowing and the pain

ached And a longing for lovers and facing life's
difficulties, All these meanings are not sufficient
to explain the suffering of the Syrian refugees,
How many people lost loved ones and friends,
How many fathers lost their sons and how many
mothers lost their sons and daughters and how
many parents lost their son, and how many
mothers lost their son and daughter and how
many brothers have lost their brother, and how
many sisters have lost their sister (Only those who
lived it knew this feeling), And what hurts more when

you see one of your family falling in front of

you because of the shrapnel of a shell falling
from the sky You don't realize what it might be
an artillery shell or war plane or something
else ,Also one of the most difficult feelings is
when you see your house which you spent your
life to building working and collecting money
for its construction, and in the end you see it
demolish before your eyes, Yes, it is a very
difficult feeling, what if you imagine that there
are many people who have lost all their money
and family, Imagine also that there are children
who have been homeless, and they are live
without a family that would protect them or take
care of them, Blood everywhere , sadness, crying, screaming,
hunger, homelessness, and fatigue, (migration and displacement),
And children lost their schools, adults lost their
jobs and they run all day to get a loaf of bread
for the hungry child who waits all day anxious
to see his father come with sustenance today
BUT what if his father does not come back and
is killed while he is struggling to get home ,This
is a reality that the Syrian people lived and
maybe living until now, What I would like to
say until now is the war going on and people
can no longer tolerate suffering any more, and
from here people started thinking about
emigration.
EMIGRATION:
Long after the war began, people have reached
the stage of searching for life especially people
who lost their families, homes and money, and
the only available route at that time was
emigration to Turkey and some Arab countries
(only) as Lebanon, Sudan, and Jordan and We
will not forget of course the European countries
that have hosted a large number of Syrian
refugees but , But the great feeling that destroys
our souls and sums up the regret that dominated
our souls is the position of most Arab countries,
which did not allow Syrian immigrants to enter
their countries without an entry visa (And of
course, entry visas were almost impossible) and
what I would like to say to these countries is
"Our children will not forget you blocked us."
It must be said that many people believed that
their immigration to Turkey would create a
decent life for them and a new beginning But
they did not know that when a person leaves his
homeland, he becomes a stranger, who does not
adapt easily to a country other than his own, and
cannot consider it his home easily.
Hence my beginning with immigration:
My beginnings with immigration:
I am a Syrian young man from Aleppo ( Al-
Shahba ). This is how history called it the
second largest city in Syria, a fortified castle, the
cradle of civilizations, the capital of the North in
a homeland dating back thousands of years, I
was born on the twentieth of August, one
thousand nine hundred and ninety-three in the
city of Aleppo, I grew up in an average standard
of living for a family of five, my parents, two
brothers and one sister, Before the war, I was
studying as an assistant mechanical engineer, I
lived the first periods of the war, and
unfortunately I lost a lot of things, I lost my
uncle and many close people and friends during
the war. What is even more regrettable is that I
was forced with my family to leave my home
and move to a safe place; Because my house
was located in a very dangerous location in an
area separating two fighting fronts, After I got
out of my house, I had nowhere to go with my
family, so feeling let down is barren, Especially
if this feeling emanates from relatives, , Who
were not stingy with putting up so many excuses
for not receiving at their homes us for a short
period of time, not more than several days, until
we rented a house, In it, we settled down with
our broken hopes on the threshold of
oppression, My mental state was not stable, it
was deplorable, I was thinking a lot of things,
Thoughts attacking me and others that hurt me, I
was feeling hopeless and emotionally tired from
the situation I was in, Until the day my brother
emigrated to Turkey, and he was required to
emigrate; Because in the event that he is not
emigrated outside the country, he will be forced
to go to military service, and with this he will
carry weapons and be brought to battlefields,(
And because we agreed on the hatred of
bloodshed by any political party), we raised a
slogan (We don't want to kill or be killed, and
we don't even want smearing our hands with
blood) His decision was to emigrate, and within
a few days he left the country.
After he left, I became the only young man, my
young brother, my younger sister, and my
parents, and of course and I was supposed to
work and support my family in Syria, The nature
of my work after my brother left was to place
ads on the streets, of course, within safe areas,
Unfortunately, after a period of time, my work
stopped for several reasons, the most important
of which was that I was old enough to go to do
military service, And as a student, I had an
academic postponement in the military service
notebook, This postponement gave me time not
to go do military service ,and because the
permanence of situation is impossible because
of the tense situation of the country during that
period, They were tearing up the academic
postponement in some security authorities, And
they take young men to do military service even
if they are studying, This is the main reason why
I quit my job and think of another way to live.
After leaving work, I stayed at home for a
while, thinking of a way to solve my problems
and support my family, As the situation
worsened, the power cut crisis erupted, People
could only see electricity for two hours a day,
water for a few hours, as well as high food
prices, widespread unemployment, and
deteriorating social conditions, and the
deterioration of the standard of living day after
day, the situation was disastrous, which paved
the way for the idea of immigration to rob my
thinking, Immigration is a door to the unknown,
but I used to see in it a salvation from suffering,
And at the same time, maybe through it, I will
be able to start a new life, And to save my
family from the unbearable situation, and to live
in safety away from war.
Immigration to Lebanon:
The decision to emigrate was not easy, my
destination is Lebanon and the reason is that my
financial and moral condition was very bad,
Immigration to Lebanon is compatible with this
situation, my determination to emigrate is
increasing day by day, I no longer care about
anything. I lost my home, my studies, my job
and my friends, and I have no friends left beside
me, including those who were martyred in the
war, some of them immigrated, and some of
them live in dangerous areas, my decision came
strong and shocking to my family, and I began
preparing for my journey into the unknown, i
had to overcome the first hurdle, which was
securing enough money for my trip, so I asked
my mother to ask one of our acquaintances if
they could lend me some money.
My mother's smile is still engraved in my
memory upon hearing of my immigration
decision, she thought I was joking, and she told
me: Even if you are serious about that, where
and to who you are going, I answered her to
Lebanon, and she asked me how you would live
there, And you don’t know anyone, so I
answered her: I am going to one of my
acquaintances, I had helped them in the past,
and I think they would help me, I also told my
mother that I contacted them, and we spoke, and
they welcomed me and after telling her these
details all the features of her face have changed
from a smile to sadness, and she said to me:
Your brother is gone and now you are going,
and I do not want to stop you or stand in the
way of your life and maybe if you will go better
than staying here, Because staying here is
dangerous to your life; Because after the end of
your academic postponement for military
service, they will take you to do military
service, (We are a family and do not want
blood on our hands) And I will be comfortable
when I see you rebuilding your life anew, away
from war and blood, her words touched me very
much, And I pledged myself to do the
impossible in order to take my family out of
war.
Few days My mother handed me the amount
that I requested, and as soon as I received the
money, I went to the travel agency to book a trip
to Lebanon the perilous journey; The road from
Aleppo to Lebanon is very dangerous,
especially for young people who are eighteen
and over and the Syrian army forces were
dealing strictly with us. It needs youth to fight,
When I entered the reservation office, they
asked me certain conditions when traveling and
i had to be taken into consideration Being legal
will relieve you of some of the hardships that
you may face.
And to travel with its endless requirements in
my country, I must have a passport and a
military service notebook and to have a
postponement of military service, and to have
my personal identity card and it must not be
broken; The owner of the broken identity - the
Syrian army believes - is someone against them,
This may expose me to many problems that
could lead to my imprisonment, Add to these
conditions a travel permit from the Military
Recruitment Division, and praise be to God I
had all the required papers and documents, I am
a person in my habit and nature who does not
like breaking the law in order to be away from
problems.
The big surprise to me upon booking was that
they told me at the travel office: We are not
responsible for any checkpoint that stopped
me, nor are we responsible for what happens
on the road, The bus will not stop and wait for
you if you are stopped for any reason, whether
you have problems with your papers or other
things.
Date of departure to Lebanon:
(May 2014) five A.M:
My steps sow the room floor back and forth, My
feeling is indescribable, my thinking is focused
on one thing only, How do I safely reach the
border between Syria and Lebanon, And fear
ah .. ah .. an indescribable feeling, What will
happen on the way to my journey? All my
thoughts are scattered. I cannot focus on a
specific thing. I was feeling as if I was lost in
reality, but the only thing that I was confident of
was my ability and my self-confidence and that
I would pass by the God willing, in peace.
The whole family is awake, my father checks
my luggage, my mother prepares food for me in
a small bag, because of her fear about me from
hunger in the way, my siblings move from one
place to another between my father and my
mother, (Me)and the fear and tension are another
story, all my worry now is to get out of the
house before my mom and dad feel my fear and
tension.
It is half past five to leave and say goodbye, I
hugged my siblings And I whispered in their
ear, I recommend them to my parents, The
sound of my mother's crying until now in my
ear, despite the passage of all this time, as if it
happened yesterday, I hugged her as a little boy
who did not want to get off her lap, An
embrace, who searches in the horror of his
dreams flowing in imagination, for refuge, to
find comfort and tranquility,
Mom ..mom ..mom, she is my soul, she is my
home, She prays with all sincerity to the God of
the worlds and invites me to safety, I will return,
I will return by the God willing, this is what my
lips repeated when I kissed her hand, What
saddens me and cries me now while I step on
my fingertips. My story is that I did not drop
even a single tear when I said goodbye to my
family, I don't know why and I ask myself why I
didn't cry at that time (maybe I didn't want to
make them anxious)?
My father and I set off to the starting point of
the bus, and all the way to the starting point, my
father would remind me of many things, and
say: "Put your documents in a safe place, try to
distribute the money that you carry in your
pockets so that if you lose money, it is only a
small amount, not the whole amount." He kept
giving me advice until I got to the bus, and here
came my departure date and my father's
farewell.
I hugged my father, and I was about to believe
that I would never see him again, because I had
never seen my father so sad than before, and for
the first time in my life I felt that my father was
weak, and he also waited until the bus set off.
The bus started, I was sitting the last seat on the
left side of the bus, Glory be to God, the travel
company employees must be very smart.
Because they put me at the end of the bus, being
in the left corner of the bus may reduce the risk
of me at the checkpoints, as I am the only young
man who might stop to have his documents
checked, The government at that time needed
soldiers to perform military service, They must
be just fake thoughts and beliefs, they Checked
me out very strictly at the checkpoints, usually
young people in my age do not go from this
way(Military Road); Because it is very
dangerous, it is possible for any checkpoint to
have bad soldiers who may take from the
traveling young man the military service
notebook on which the academic postponement
has been recorded, And they tear it apart and
drive him to perform military service, I'm only
talking about the bad guys, and everywhere
there are bad and good people.
After the bus started, I was very anxious, so
regardless of the checkpoints that I would
encounter on (Military Road), I had to face first
the checkpoints inside the city, I was waiting to
see how the checkpoints would react to me as I
was at an age when I had to go to Military
service, I was wondering between myself and
myself whether it would be difficult, would I
have a lot of scrutiny of my documents or was it
just a regular routine, All these questions were
dispelled as we stood at the first checkpoint,
where a soldier boarded the bus, and asked the
bus driver for a list containing all the
passengers' information, This list must be
present on every bus carrying passengers
passing through Military Road, And after taking
a look at the list, the soldier called my name
(because I was the only young man on the bus,
so it was natural for me to check my papers if
they were legal or not), I felt a little scared, and I
answered him, and he asked me for my ID and
the military service notebook and he actually
checked it and thanked me and wished me a safe
way, (Sometimes there are people who make
you smile and make you feel happy and take
away fear and tension without them knowing,
and this is what I felt) So the bus started again
and passed other checkpoints, some of them
were good and some were bad, but the soldier at
the first checkpoint planted Power inside me, "It
is a military road that was previously used only
for military vehicles, but in the war crisis it was
allowed to be used by traveling civilians."
Unfortunately for me, and what I did not expect
happened to me at the first checkpoint on
military Road. Although I was prepared all the
time and was very afraid, I did not show much
interest, Because I got used to the previous
checkpoint questions, their way of dealing and
their methods, and I thought that my way would
not be so difficult, At the checkpoint, no
ordinary soldier got on the bus, but an officer
carrying three stars, as I remember, got up and
started asking all people about their personal
documents, and he was a serious and terrifying
person, He speaks in a very strange and strong
way. He checked all the passengers ’papers, and
to make matters worse when he arrived, I was
sitting in the last seat of the bus on the left side,
so the officer thought I was trying to hide and
this made him very strict with me, I was
overwhelmed by fear and intense anxiety, and
my ties began to shiver, and this was evident on
my face and the trembling tone of my voice, and
he began with my question:
Where is your ID?
- please
- Military service notebook?
- please
- your passport?
- please
- Your travel permission?
- please
- Show me your student card? (Of course, he
asked me for my student card because he saw on
my military service notebook that military
service was postponed because of my studies)
-please …….
I did not add a single letter above the word
PLEASE ,to speaking a little with these people
is the best way to avoid them, so the way he
asked me was that he was trying to find one
excuse to get me off the bus, But I carried all of
my documents with me, and they were all legal,
so he could not prove anything illegal on me.
Also, I did not give him the opportunity to get
me off the bus, and after many questions, he
gave up on me so he shouted loudly, saying,
"Take your papers." And he threw them in my
face, and he acted in a very bad way with me,
and continued his words: "I know that you are
traveling, because you want to flee from the
military service." I cannot translate to you my
feeling at this moment, fear, anxiety, tension,
tremors, .... I do not know what the appropriate
expression would be, all I remember after that
was the sigh of relief that I gave after the bus
doors closed and started again ..., A new age has
been written to me, "This is how I used to hear
from my grandmother about the people around
whom death swirls and then leaves, I was one of
them in those moments, The minutes used to
pass by me as if they were hours and everyone
inside the bus was sleeping rested and not
anxious, and only me was awake, anxiety and
preparedness did not leave me, I prayed to God
to make it easier on the road, I was focusing on
the smallest details on the road, and after I
passed the first checkpoint on the military road
Who I consider it to be the most difficult barrier
so far in my trip to Lebanon, after which other
barriers began to appear, and we crossed them
without burning nerves, But the thing I didn't
expect was that I would pay money on the road;
To be able to cross the checkpoints every time
the bus stops at the checkpoint ... The soldier
gets up, looks at the list, sees my newborns, then
calls me, takes my identity card, gets off the
bus, and while it's getting off, he tells me (You
will not travel anywhere and you will stay in the
country) And here comes the role of the bus
captain's assistant, as he used to take me or send
me to the military who took my identity to pay
him an amount of money to return my identity
card to me, I continued to pay money throughout
my journey until we approached the gates of
Damascus, the capital of capitals, and the
hidden part of history, I felt the fear on my chest
that was disappearing. I took a deep breath, and
by then I had spent 75% of my money, We
rested a little in the city of Damascus, and
continued on our way to Lebanon, and when I
reached the Syrian-Lebanese border, I expected
the matter to be a little complicated, but thank
God it was easier than I imagined, I entered the
center to stamp my passport, the exit stamp
from Syria, so the employee asked for my
papers only, and sealed for me without any
other questions, and this is the thing that
surprised me because usually many questions
are asked, but my mother’s prays for me “May
God protect you from all bad” has blew the liver
of heaven .
Crossing from the Syrian border to the
Lebanese border:
Here is the Syrian border, my tears started
falling, A feeling of sadness does not leave me,
sadness on farewell my country, But at the same
time I was feeling happy; Because I managed to
cross this rough road, And crossing this road
was a big achievement for me, , But my entry to
Lebanon It was a bit difficult, There were a large
number of Syrians on the Lebanese borders, I
did not expect this number of people, and the
thing I did not like was that the Lebanese border
guard was not dealing with people in a good
way at that time, I was neither focused or
interested in what was happening, all the focus
was how to get the visa and I get it .
My feeling of fear and tension is gone, and
thinking about what happened is very difficult
feeling, And after I obtained the entry visa, I was
trying to communicate with my acquaintance,
with the family of Abu Muhammad, They are
the ones I will live with in Lebanon, but how I
got to know this family has a story behind it,
Always doing good with people will not be lost;
Because maybe one day we might need people
we helped in the past.

The story of the family of (Abu Muhammad):

In the early periods of the war, there were many
people displaced from dangerous areas to safe
areas, The government used to provide these
people with shelters, and the shelters that were
used at that time to host people were either
school or student university housing and
somethings like that.
“Our school is a shelter center, and we have to
help.” This is what one of my friends told me
that in our elementary school that I attended
when I was in the elementary stage, there will
be displaced people coming from the affected
areas for accommodation, He also told me that
there will be a local organization that will
support the displaced, and that it will be
responsible for the shelter center (school), Also,
this organization was looking for volunteers.
When I learned of this, I decided to be one of
the volunteers and went to school, and I spoke
with the organization’s supervisors and those in
charge of the shelter center so that I could
volunteer to help the displaced people, Indeed,
they welcomed me and told me the date that the
accommodation center would be opened and
receiving people. Indeed, that day came and we
received the people, Unfortunately, the situation
of the people was very miserable. Some of them
were frustrated, and some of them were
desperate, and some of them were sad. Some of
them they had a deceased ... etc.,
I was very sad but I couldn't do anything but
help them as a volunteer, I give everything I
can, and they were so many, Day after day, I got
attached to people a lot. I felt them as a family
to me until one day came and some shells began
to fall next to the shelter center (the school), and
next to the shelter center in which I work was
another shelter and a shell fell inside it, so the
organization decided to evacuate the two centers
in which I work And the other in which the shell
fell, And they were able to evacuate the center
that is next to us, but they could not get people
out of the center that I was supervising, as the
people refused to leave; because there is no
place to go and all of the organization attempts
to get them out have failed, People said: “We
will not go out because there is no other place
that we can go to and we have lost our money,
our homes, our business and our lands, and here
I sat for a while thinking and decided to stay
with them In the shelter, which is exposed to
bombing at any moment and I told people that
since you insist on staying, I will stay with you
until you leave from here, I slept in the
accommodation center sometimes, knowing that
my house was not far from the school I actually
stayed with them until we reached a dead end ;
The situation is more dangerous than before, at
that time people decided to leave after they
found another shelter, and the thing that brought
me together with (Abu Muhammad) family was
my volunteer work in this shelter and the
provision of assistance without charge, And my
communication with people, interaction with
them, and hearing their stories, and benefit from
their experience in life, Which I wouldn't have
had for ten years, People have been a part of my
life for more than nine months, and this is not a
short period.
The family of (Abu Muhammad) welcoming
me:
Communication with Abu Muhammad's family
was not easy. I spent most of my way from the
border to the Lebanese city of Beirut trying to
communicate and find a way to communicate
with them, whether by calling or
communicating via the Internet, the bad internet
was the main obstacle to delaying the
connection, but my persistence and continuing
to try again and again enabled me to finally
communicate with them, and they told me that
they would be waiting for me at the bus station,
So I felt a very beautiful feeling and
psychological comfort that I did not feel
throughout my trip, so I fell asleep then, now I
can sleep, the sleep that I have not had since
leaving my country; Because of the anxiety that
did not leave me, I still feel this moment, how
the feeling of strength, optimism, hope and
psychological comfort slowly seeped into my
soul to replace anxiety, tension and fear, Now
I'll have a sleep that will enable me to recover.
We arrived in the Lebanese city of Beirut,
feelings overlapped, and my thoughts were
confused, so as long as we Syrians love Beirut
and its residents, And now I am on the land of
Beirut, dreams are dancing in front of me, and
hope has opened a new door in front of me, and
I am a new kid who opened his wings for life to
soar high, this is what I felt the moment I met
abu Muhammad's wife and daughter, they were
waiting for my arrival for a long time; Because
they live in the Lebanese city of Tripoli,
They have had to wait for hours due to the
difficulty of transportation in Lebanon, it is not
easy to get transportation at times after
midnight.
The family of Abu Muhammad received me in a
very nice way, they were very happy; They
consider me as their son; Because they lost their
son of my age in the war, and I had the same
feeling for them as my family.
After arriving at their home in the Lebanese city
of Tripoli, I contacted my family in Syria, sent
pictures, and told them that I had become safe,
and I also told them about the kindness with
which they dealt with me, and the thing that I
will not forget in my life is the way they
received me, and their travel from city to city
Other to greet me.
As for Abu Muhammad, that affectionate man,
the father whom God rewarded me after leaving
my father, he prepared food for me himself to
celebrate my arrival, and prepared for me my
place to sleep, everything was coordinated and
arranged for my arrival, they prepared a room
for me in their small house to stay for the time I
needed, and they told me that I am like Their
son, They also told me: They will not leave me
until they find a job for me, and that I will not
need to pay anything and I can keep what I have
left over. I have not seen in my life good simple
people, who give and help with everything they
have for free, in our days that we live there are
not many people Want to help, It must be said
that the biggest problems facing some people,
especially (refugees from war countries) are
racism, sectarianism, the view of contempt and
insulting the pre-social religious culture, bearing
in mind that there are many intellectuals from
all countries of the world, but people include an
entire country because of an offensive person, I
have suffered from these problems and I am still
suffering until now, of course I do not include
everyone because we cannot judge people
without dealing with them.
(Lebanon overview):
Sectarianism in Lebanon is an evil that eats its
people, So what if you are a guest, fear inhabits
your heart, And you would prefer to die than say
your religion and your sect, Sectarianism is a
mite that is eating up the Lebanese society, And
that is due to the multiplicity of its sects and
sects, I faced a lot of problems because of
sectarianism, Add to this that no one can live if
he does not have a job ; Because life there is
very difficult and finding work for expats is not
easy, It depends on how well you know people
of Lebanese origin, employers, Or at least a
Lebanese with acquaintances, And what
happened to me is that I do not have anyone of
Lebanese origin who can help me, only Uncle
Abu Muhammad was the only one who was
helping me because he had Lebanese
acquaintances, However, I did not find a job in
Tripoli, and the days passed. I used to go out
every morning looking for work, I go around the
streets of the city of Tripoli, enter the shops and
places that I might find job, and from the
sadness I used to go to the sea every two days
or more, I sit for hours thinking of any possible
solution; Because I was very embarrassed by the
Abu Muhammad family, and I had to find a
solution knowing that they did not harass me or
offend me in any way, And I made the decision
to go to Beirut, because it is the capital. I
contacted a friend of mine who lives in Beirut,
and informed him that I would go to him, but he
told me that he could only receive me for a
while, When I arrived, he received me with a
great welcome, we exchanged conversations,
and when I asked him if I could find a job, his
answer was in the current situation that it is
difficult ; Because there are problems between
the Lebanese and the Syrians, and where some
Lebanese have claimed that the Syrians are
stealing the work of the Lebanese, and after
hearing about these problems I was very sad, I
went to sleep so that I could not see my sad
facial expressions, but unfortunately I could not
sleep, and I stayed awake until early in the
morning, I decided to go back to Abu
Muhammad’s house, then pack my luggage, and
go back to Syria. I woke up my friend to say
goodbye to him and told him: I am going to
collect my belongings and return to Syria, He
advised me not to return, because the situation is
dangerous in Syria, but I had made my decision,
I had no other choice, and I went back to Abu
Muhammad's house, and started collecting my
luggage, and when they found out about the
matter they rejected the matter and told me: I
have to be patient a little, and they insisted on
preventing me, I accepted the matter as if I could
find another solution, and after several days I
was really able to communicate with my brother
in Turkey, and I explained to him about my
situation, so he said to me: Why don't you think
about coming to Turkey, I told him: I do not
have enough money, and that I need money to
come to Turkey. He told me: Do not worry, I
will act. I will owe one of my friends, and I send
you.
Here I am now, praise be to God, hope has
returned to me, and I am looking for travel
agencies in Lebanon. My brother asked me to
ask about the necessary procedures, and I found
marine travel agencies that have trips to Turkey
and I asked them questions such as how much
the trip cost, should I get a visa ... etc. But there
was no difficulty except the cost of the trip,
After several days my brother called me and
asked me to go to a remittance office, to receive
an amount of money, which he sent to me, I
went and received the money, and I immediately
went to the travel office to book the ship's card,
and I actually made a reservation, and my trip
was a few days later, The grief of the family of
Abu Muhammad was very intense, and it was
the same feeling that gripped me, but I had to do
anything. I could not live for long in the house
of people who received me with a great
welcome, eagerness and love, And maybe I
would be a great burden on them without
knowing, and changed this thing, and despite
this I was also happy that I would not return to
Syria disappointed, and that I would go to live
with my brother, My brother is the only one who
can bear my burden on him, and he will help me
find a job for me, as it is said that in Turkey
there are many job opportunities, and now I am
at a new crossroads, depositing Lebanon, and in
my pocket are $ 50, three thousand Lebanese
pounds, and three thousand Lebanese pounds
are not equivalent to any One thing is that I can
only buy a cracker, And when the time came to
leave, I bid farewell to the family of (Abu
Muhammad), who lovingly embraced me and
set out for the port
The port:
People are everywhere, I did not expect this
great crowd, and the large number of passengers
heading to Turkey, I entered the area where the
inspection and passport control offices are
located, I was very tired and hungry, I got out
very early and I could not eat, It is not possible
to buy any food, so what I have left is only fifty
dollars and three thousand Lebanese pounds, as
it is barely enough to buy a bus ticket from
Mersin, where the ship will dock to Istanbul, So
I sat laughing, and I did not expect this thing to
happen to me,
My turn to the inspection came after a period of
no less than four hours; Because of the large
number of people there, and after I entered my
passport was searched and examined, and there
was a lot of checking my information in a large
way, but all my papers were legal, and I had no
problems.
I got into the ship, it was very large, and I put
my luggage in the designated place.
I was not in a good condition when the ship left
the port, I left Lebanon, and before that my
country, Syria, and now to Turkey, I became
afraid of Hold on to hope, and I began to have
fears about the future, but the fears disappear
because my brother's presence, My support in
this world, my honor after my father and
mother.
Where we are going, this was not our
agreement…...
Those words cut off my fears, and landed like a
bullet in my ear, when the ship headed to the
city of Tachogo, which is two hours away from
Mersin,
The city from which I am going to Istanbul, this
is what I understood from His subject (person
speak on the phone), like me, shares the same
problem with me, I approached him hoping to
get more information about
Topic And I began to listen to his speech, and
understood from his conversation that his
friends would come to take him In this dire
situation that I have been in, I have to do
anything to get Mersin, And from Mersin, I have
to go to Istanbul, I had no choice but to know
the person, Must find a smart way to talk to him,
I was not trying to take advantage of him, my
condition was bad, I had no money, and the
weather was starting to get cold and I was so
hungry that I had no balance to make calls,
When I remember this situation now, and as I
write, I do not control myself, my eyes shed
tears from the difficulty of the difficult situation
I was in.
If you want to go to Mersin we can go together
and we can take the bus together. My name is
Muhammad and I have the honor to accompany
you if you have no objection. (me and him).
And I stood waiting for his response, he looked
at me with a wandering eyes, but I was adamant
in my request, I was just trying to show my love
for him as my new friend.
[In fact, in the beginning, I did not like this
person me, but I was forced at that time] and he
answered me, you do not need to go to Mersin
by bus, my friends are coming to take me. You
can come with us, so I was very happy and
thanked him, and we agreed to go together with
his friends.
His aunt was also with him, and here I blamed
myself, I felt guilty, that we should not judge
people without dealing with them, Because I
judged him badly, and after a few hours in the
middle of the sea, the weather changed
I was wearing summer clothes; The weather was
very hot when the ship set off, and it did not
occur to me that the weather in the sea might
turn from hot to cold.
I have never traveled by ship before, and I do
not know what is happening in the middle of the
sea, and the weather has become so cold, too
cold that I can describe, and I do not wear a coat
and all my summer clothes, my teeth stick
together, there is nothing on the ship except a
warm area, which is the cafeteria, and of course
I cannot sit in it because I have no money.
[A vessel is a vessel that carries goods and
passengers, but is not fully equipped to carry
passengers] ,There was a place to sit inside on
the seats reserved for passengers, I sat on one of
those seats, and I was sitting in the front seats
facing the two seats of a family from the Syrian
city of Latakia, They had a very beautiful girl, I
was staring at This family for a while, as it
brought back my family's memories ,I tried to
sleep by various means, but I could not, and
then I went out to smoke a cigarette, hoping that
I would forget the cold and hunger that began to
ravage my thin body.
And when the girl was going out to inhale the
air, I felt her coming, but she did not feel my
presence, so she became very afraid, so I took
my words to say to ease her
Tension: Do not be afraid, do not be afraid. I
will return to my place until you enter, So I
would go out to smoke, and…
she said to me: Don't worry, you can come, I
went out to smoke, and she said to me: Don't
worry, you can come.
She felt reassured after saying that to her, we
chatted, she was very beautiful, but
unfortunately my focus was just how I would, I
tell her I was cold, and I want a blanket from
them just to rest and I sleep for an hour no more,
and I know they have blanket I told her that I do
not have a coat and my food is in my bag in the
luggage room on the ship, and I cannot go down
to fetch it,
She told me: Immediately I'll get a blanket to
put on you, and I'll get some biscuits, with
eloquence, great shame and restraint, I tried to
refuse, citing this being accustomed to the cold,
but I and [Inside me of course I used to say
please hurry up, because the cold lodged in my
bones, I cannot bear more].
Moments later, she came back with a blanket in
her hand, and without thinking I snatched it
from her hand and placed it on my shoulders,
then she came back with a piece of biscuits and
some sweets in hand. I was eating calmly, I
thanked God in me, and before she went, she
asked me to keep the blanket and return it at the
end of the trip.
‘The trip to the Turkish port of Tachogo is
fourteen hours, a long time and the time is like a
turtle’ I went back inside, tried to sleep for a few
hours [and fell asleep], and by seven in the
morning I woke up, the sun was shining, I went
outside and found nothing around me except my
friend, the sea.
The cruise is nearing an end. I must think about
how to get to Istanbul. A plan must be put in
place that enables me to accompany this young
man, whom I got to know, without
compromising my dignity. I don’t have enough
money to go on my own.
The ship docked in the Turkish port of
Tachogo, at 12 noon now, I got off the ship
quickly, and actually crossed the passport and
inspection area, and stood outside the port
waiting for that young man, everything is going
As I had planned for him, it was necessary to
pretend to forget what happened between us of
the conversation, and that I would offer him to
accompany me to Mersin, and after a few
minutes he came, so I initiated him by telling
him are you coming with me to Mersin?
He answered me: Have you forgotten my
friends are coming, and you will come with us,
so,
I told him: Excuse me, I forgot.
I laughed inside, praise be to God, my plan
succeeded.
[I did not think in a bad way, but I had no
choice].
I got in the car with them, they were good
people, it must be recognized that the greatest
blessing from God to his servants is to surround
his servants with His mercy, and facilitate their
affairs, this is what happened to me.
After I got up with them and exchanged the
conversation, they told me that I could take the
Tachogo bus directly to Istanbul, and it would
only cost me a small amount, that day was a day
of great luck for me.
I told them that I do not speak Turkish and I
cannot book on my own ticket, so they told me:
Do not worry, we will help you To get on the
bus, and they really helped me and booked the
card, increased some money with me, they said
goodbye to me and they were very nice to me,
and from that time on I came to mind the idea
that there are many good people in this Life, and
that life is not based on a society, culture or
religion, After that, I was able to communicate
with my brother, via the free internet, at the bus
station in Tachogo, and I told him when I would
arrive in Istanbul.
I got on the bus towards
Istanbul:
When I got on the bus, I was completely
relaxed, despite feeling tired; Because I traveled
a great distance from my trip, and then I was
able to sleep for a few hours, and the bus set off.
Our first stop is Ankara, and there we must
change the bus, I actually got off the bus, but I
didn't speak Turkish, just a little bit of English,
and unfortunately the Turkish people, most of
them do not speak English, Tension appeared on
my face, and in an instant I heard someone
speak Arabic, so I asked him how I could
change the bus, and he smiled, and he told me:
Do not worry, I will help you, so he called one
of his friends, and told him: This person
[trusteeship] Do not leave him until he gets on
the bus to Istanbul, He was a nice person, he
apologized to me and said he couldn't stay for a
long time because his trip was going to start,
and he told me that his friend would not leave
me until I got on the bus, and actually his friend
didn't leave me until I got on the bus, I firmly
believed that there are still people who would
love to help, And before leaving for Istanbul, I
contacted my brother via the Internet inside the
bus station, telling him that I had arrived in
Ankara, and that I would change the bus, and
then to Istanbul, and I actually got on the bus
and set off to Istanbul, there I will throw the
burden of worries, and I will hold hope again, I
was tense, because Istanbul is large, divided into
two parts west and east, and my brother lives on
the western side, and I do not know which
station to go to, and thank God I was fortunate
this time, As a Turkish young man inside the bus
spoke a little English, he tried to help me, telling
me how to get to my destination, it was very
difficult to understand him; Because his English
accent is a bit difficult, but I could understand
him. He explained to me that after he get off at
his station, I will get off and he told me that the
station I will get off at is the last stop, and no
one will stay in the bus, he was nice and a little
worried too, I don’t know why, and when I
actually arrived at the last station, I had arrived
at the two destinations of Istanbul West Bus
Station.

Istanbul West Bus Station:

I got off the bus, it is Istanbul, the city of magic
and imagination, that what it is said about it, it
was late at night, I was very exhausted, my face
is tired, very tired, I want to sit and not think
about anything, until I did not care about my
bags or anything, but I was happy from myself
too; Because I reached my destination despite
all the difficulties, I sat for a while, trying to
take a break, and then communicating with my
brother, but how? What is the method? There
were many taxi drivers, one of them came to me
and asked me if I want to make a call, really, I
was very surprised, I wasn't expecting that?
How does he come and tell me to make a call
and give me the phone? I tried to ask him in
English, but unfortunately, he does not speak
only very little English, I made the call, and I
talked with my brother, I told him that I had
come, he told me to give me the Turkish person
to talk to him, so I gave him the taxi driver to
talk to him and the driver told him about my
location, of course the taxi driver gave me his
phone to make a call. Because he thought I
would ride with him, this is their way in Turkey,
and of course I discovered that after my brother
explained to me how drivers in Turkey deal with
foreigners in a knowledgeable and effective
way, after several minutes had passed, my
brother and friend arrived.

My brother and friend arrive:

When my brother and friend arrived, I hadn't
seen this joy on my brother's face before.
My big brother (Abdul Razzak): He is the one
who did not leave him all my life except during
the war on Syria, my brother who was beside
me, and I was by his side, I did not imagine that
I would leave him one day, it was not only
happiness on his face and on my face as well, I
embraced him deeply and through his embrace I
felt that he silently tells me praise God for your
coming to stand beside me again, As if I silently
tell him that I feel safe; Because I am beside
you, and I want to complain to him about what
happened to me throughout my arduous journey,
my brother carried my luggage and my brother
and friend welcomed my arrival. We rented the
car of that driver who gave me the phone to
make a call. Because I don't need to think about
anything, I just want to sleep and I'm so tired.
When we got to the neighborhood where my
brother lives, and after getting off the taxi, I
forgot my belongings and bags inside the taxi,
and when the taxi started to leave, I calmly and
disinterested my brother and friend that I forgot
my belongings in the taxi, they ran behind the
taxi, and started screaming and whistling until it
stopped, and brought me my belongings, I do
not know why I did not care about my
belongings, and until now I do not have an
answer for what happened, and we went up to
the house, and inside the house were many
sleeping young men, and my brother brought me
food, and I ate and slept deeply, and when I
woke up I felt sad. Because my brother went to
work early in the morning, he cannot be absent
from work, as the Turkish work system is very
strict.

Life in Turkey and the strict

work system, especially for
Syrian refugees or
immigrants:
The work system in Turkey, especially with
immigrants: The work system in Turkey is a
very strict system, and working times are long,
and the working hours in Turkey range from at
least ten hours, and an average of twelve hours a
day, and in the event of work pressure in the
workplace, the employee or worker is supposed
to stay until the completion of work, some
Employers pay some money for overtime hours,
and others do not pay overtime, and the
employee is supposed, even if he finishes his
work late, to come the next day at the official
working time, But worse than that when the
employee is absent from work for one day, and
in the event that the employer is not informed,
there is a possibility of losing his work, and in
the event that he obtains a sick leave or leave
that cannot exceed two or three days; Because
the employer believes that the absence of any
employee can stop him from work or income, [I
speak about most of the workplaces in Turkey,
and I do not talk about everyone] Of course,
there are many.
There are types of work that do not include the
weekend, such as ovens - restaurants -
cafeterias, as for the work that has a weekend is
half Saturday and Sunday the whole day, but the
problem is that employers in Turkey do not pay
a refugee or immigrant health insurance, and
also the immigrant they do not take a salary like
a Turkish employee, even if this immigrant
speaks Turkish fluently, and this thing was a big
problem for Syrian immigrants; Because house
rents in Turkey are very expensive, and in order
for a family to live in Turkey, at least two
people must work to open a house, and pay
home bills and supplies, but the Turkish people
in general were not bad with us, except for some
of them only, but I cannot judge everyone,
Some of them are good and some of them are
bad [This is how life is, it taught us not to judge
peoples or states, but rather to judge people by
the way they deal with us].

My work in Turkey:
The streets of Istanbul, its roads, alleys, its
beaches, the smell of its rain, its clouds, the
charm of its breeze, all that is said of the magic
of the city is little, this is what I saw, and I felt it
while walking its roads, so after my brother
returned home, he took me to show me the city
of Istanbul, and within our conversation on the
road he told me He found a job for me in a
restaurant away from the house where we live
for an hour, The work was not easy, as I would
work twelve hours a day, and I only had a
weekend, one day, and he told me: It is my
chance to start learning the language, so I was
happy and agreed immediately, and he really
explained to me how to go and how to return,
but the time for work was very early [ I go to
work before the sun rises and come back after it
sets], At first I did not care much, but after a
while I yearned to see the sun, and I stayed in
this state for a few months until a problem
occurred between me and the employer, and I
left work, but before I left work I spoke with my
brother and explained to him how the employer
was treating me badly, so he supported me and
supported me By saying: "Do not worry and
immediately leave the work, and we will find
another job for you.", Really, I was very happy
to leave this job; Because I cannot enjoy my life
even for a few days, but at the same time I was
anxious and afraid that I would not easily find
another job.
I left my job and came home, and after several
days, my brother and I went to find work, and I
passed from a bakery to a bakery, until we
entered a bakery, and I and my brother asked
him if he needed a worker to work, of course it
was Sunday and my brother was at the weekend,
the business owner answered Yes, I want
someone to deliver requests to customers, so my
brother explained to the employer that I do not
speak the Turkish language fluently, so the
employer had no problem with that, and we
agreed with him to start work from the next day,
but he told me something must be learned that
there is no vacation or weekend days in this
work at all Of course, I had no other choice, and
I agreed to work, And I agreed to work, and this
work started from five in the morning until five
in the evening, as the employer told me, if I do
not have a place to live, I can live in the bakery,
then my brother told me that I do not need to
live in the bakery now; Because I live at home
with him, and if I live in the bakery, the
employer will make me work more than twelve
hours, so my brother's words convinced me, and
I stayed asleep in my brother's house.

My home in Turkey:
My house in Turkey was a youth house, in
which many young people lived, but the main
tenants who rented the house were three, my
brother and two of his friends, and the reason
that called them to rent out to other young
people is that the rent of the house is expensive,
in addition to the high bills of electricity, water,
etc. They received so low that they had to
receive others so that they could survive, as for
the situation, it was not critical, because life was
very difficult. Because every period new people
come and others leave, so that sometimes the
number may reach eleven people in a house that
contains three rooms and one salon, sometimes
we were sleeping four people in one room, and
the funny thing is that in the early morning each
of us was waiting his turn to go to the bathroom,
and some of us go to work without going to the
bathroom. Because he may be late for his work
if he waits his turn, However, when we returned
home, we were having beautiful times, and we
were trying to support each other in the event
that one of us left his job, we were trying to find
a job for him as soon as possible, as it is
difficult to live in Turkey without a job.
When I started working in the bakery, all the
workers were nice, and there was a young man
who worked before, he taught me how to deliver
orders to the stores, and after less than a week
he left work, I have been working in this bakery
for more than three consecutive months, there is
no final vacation. The employer loved me and
his son; Because I was very regular, not late to
my work, and I quickly learned the nature of
work, but during the period of three months I
was going through a phase of exhaustion and
exhaustion of myself, ; Because I wake up from
four in the morning and do not return from my
work until about five o'clock, I tried to accept
the nature of the work, so there is no other
option, I thought it was a good job because of
the proximity of the bakery to the house, so I
would not need to use transportation, and I
stayed the same way until A day came and I felt
a harsh and difficult feeling; Because in this
work I imprison my freedom, not only that,
Rather, I used to go home on a Sunday, see all
of my friends have day off, except I used to go
to work on weekends, I could not stand this
work anymore, and I had to find another job.
I called my brother that day, and I told him that
I could no longer work in the bakery, and I also
wanted to see him, so I will run away from this
work, and that I will meet him in a specific
place, and I actually asked for an hourly leave
from the business owner, and he did not refuse
because I did not take any leave from the
beginning of my work In the bakery, and I went
to the meeting point with my brother, I wanted
to see the sea because I have been so longing for
it, for months now I have been confined to the
bakery, I only go out of it at home, and go back
to the cycle of work, until I forgot myself, but I
want to live, my brother felt that I was in a
deplorable situation, and we set out to the sea,
And when I saw the sea, my tears began to run
down, and silence was accompanying my tears.
I had no desire to speak, and I stayed like this
for a long time, until I gathered my strength and
said in a quarreling voice: I must find another
job.
My brother looked at me with a sympathetic
look, a supportive look, he never hesitated to
support and advise me, and I respect him
because he is the most familiar with myself;
Because working in Istanbul at that time was
very little [no season], and I really waited.
However, after a period had passed and the
month of Ramadan approached, unfortunately, a
problem occurred with the employer. He wants
me next month to start working from four in the
morning, and I will leave at ten o'clock at night,
so next month is Ramadan [the month of fasting
for Muslims], so I refused the matter, And this
was the reason for my dismissal from work, and
he did not give me the full wage from work, and
I went home, and extended my hand into my
pocket, and found money that a customer had
given me, and I forgot to give it to the employer,
I went back to the business owner, and I gave
him the money, and I told him that I will not
treat him As treated me, I went back home, I
could have taken the money; Because he did not
give me my full wages, but I was raised and
educated on honesty, and I will not treat people
as they treat me.
The days passed, and I clung to the hope of
finding a suitable job, the days were similar to
some of them in that period, until relief came,
my brother called me on the phone and said to
me: There is a good job for you. Come to my
workplace, you will go to meet the employer,
and I really went, and met the owner Business
The business was a wholesale apparel business, I
was a little afraid, because work requires me to
use my Arabic language and sell Arab
customers, but I was nevertheless afraid of my
Turkish language, my level in Turkish was not
very strong, I could speak and explain things,
and this thing made me nervous, And before I go
to talk to the employer, my brother told me if I
could win this job opportunity, I would be very
lucky, and I actually met the employer, and he
told me you will be under trial until the end of
the day, and I will decide until the end of the
day, and I really started directly with the help of
the employees, I was arranging A lot of things,
and despite my extreme tension, I was
somewhat optimistic, and by the end of the day
the employer liked my work, and told me you
are acceptable, and tomorrow morning we will
start, so I was very happy.
I started working the next day, I was happy with
my work, I worked many hours, but I used to
have the weekend, and I had some respect, until
I finished my week, so the employer was happy,
and he said to me: You are a good young man, I
will give you an increase in your salary, and I
was very surprised. And I was happy, I kept
working in this place until the Eid period came,
when we had to close the shop. Because it is a
celebration f or all of Turkey, But before we left,
he called the employees to give them their
salaries, and I was waiting for my turn and when
it was my turn he gave me a lot of money, and
suddenly he told me this is your salary and with
him the Eid reward, so I was shocked; Because
the amount was three salaries per week, and
before I left I asked the owner of the shop for an
extended vacation. Because I was planning to go
back to Syria, To renew my passports and to
postpone military service; Because if I do not
renew them, I will not be able to return to Syria
again, [The wholesaler system in Turkey is
strict; Because if you leave work with the
merchant, you will not be authorized to return
again; Because they knows that no one pays
high salaries like wholesalers, and wholesalers
consider returning an employee to work after
leaving work for them is considered an insult
somewhat].
I told him to give me two weeks. He told me
these two weeks no more. I went home, and told
my brother about this thing, so he got angry and
said to me: We are in a state of war and your
return is very dangerous. I said to him: I have
hope that the war will end soon, And that if I do
not renew my documentary, I will not be able to
return again, so he told me to do whatever I
wanted, and I really started planning to return to
Syria.

Plan of returning to Syria:

I have to prepare a plan, I have to go back to
Syria; In order to renew my documents, and
then return to Turkey as soon as possible so as
not to lose my job, finding a good job in Turkey
is very difficult, many friends did not advise me
to return to Syria, I might put my life or myself
in danger, but my goal was clear, and that was
to come back and renew my documentary, so I
don't expect the war to last for long.
I reserved a ship card from the city of Mersin to
the Syrian city of Tartus. I had two options at
that time, either to reserve a card to Lebanon
and from Lebanon to Syria, which is the way I
came from, or to reserve a ship card from the
city of Mersin to the Syrian city of Tartus, and
the difference Between these two roads, the road
to Lebanon is long, but I have passed it before
and I will not face any difficulty, and the road
from Mersin to the city of Tartus is close, but it
poses a threat to me, as the relationship between
the Syrian and Turkish states is somewhat tense,
In this case, there will be a lot of scrutiny on
people coming from Turkey to Syria, and after
deep thought I decided to take the short road
that is directly from Turkey to Syria, and I have
decided this thing; Because I know that I have
legal documents, and I am not against the law,
and also because I do not have much time, and I
must return to Turkey as soon as possible in
order not to lose my job, That is why I booked
two return cards from Turkey to Syria and from
Syria to Turkey. Indeed, the day of return came
and I bade farewell to my friends, and my
brother and I set out for the bus station, and
when the time came for my departure by bus
from Istanbul to Mersin, I felt very sad.
I hugged my brother and I hope for the soon
meeting, I looked at His face was sad and
broken. I felt him telling me from within him:
Do not go, stay here, do not expose yourself to
danger, but my decision was more than wishes.
I got on the bus and took me to a journey of
what is said most adventurous in the spirit, in
fact after the departure of the bus, I was very
nervous Because I know that my way will not
be easy and simple, but I was trying to calm
myself a little, and I said I will not judge things
before they happen, and after I arrived in the
Turkish city of Mersin, I went to the main
reservation office for the ships departing from
Turkey to Syria, and I received the cards of the
ship that I had booked in advance. And I waited
for my departure date, the boat is supposed to
start at about four o'clock. I went to the port and
asked where the ship was, but the funny thing
was that I thought it was a ship, but it was a
small boat, and the number of people inside the
boat was sixty people including me. When I
learned about that, I was shocked, but the most
frightening thing. I am the only young man
heading to Syria, so there are some people who
told me that I risk my life, I am a young man at
an age that I must go to the Military service, but
I was trying to convey to people the idea that I
am legal, and I have no problems with my
papers, yet I was very afraid, An indescribable
feeling that did not leave me and although I was
focusing on hiding my fear, I did not expect the
situation to be like this, and it would get so bad
before I got on the boat.
Someone used to take passports and cards from
travelers. When he took my passport from me, I
asked him where I could retrieve it, and he
answered me: You will take it back when you
arrive in Syria and from the Syrian government,
and he was speaking in an impolite way, so I
was afraid, and I felt that my nerves would
explode from the intensity of tension, and the
misfortune When they took our passports, they
told us that you will not be able to take them
back until you reach Syria, so I could not even
get out of the boat to buy anything.
The boat was supposed to start by about four
o'clock, but it did not take off until about half
past eight and when I set off, the tension
increased until I reached a point where I felt that
I could not open my mouth from the intensity of
tension, and I had unspeakable pain in my teeth
due to my pressure on them, and the journey
continued with this the shape.
Thoughts destroy me, fear, tension, tremors, a
feeling that I had never felt before because I
said maybe it will be my end when I arrive, I
was [like a person waiting for his death] The
boat kept moving for about five and a half hours
until we entered the Syrian border and
approached the beach.

The beach of the Syrian city of

Tartous:
After we crossed the Syrian border, and the boat
approached the shore, the sea water was calm,
and the night was dark, and at a certain moment
a lot of lights blew around our boat, and these
lights were coming from very small boats, so I
knew at that time that I arrived at the Syrian
shores, and I waited until The boat landed on the
shore, and my heart was pounding with fear;
Because I don't know what might happen next,
The Syrian Coast Guard police boarded the
boat, and they welcomed everyone in a beautiful
way, and asked the passengers of the boat to
inform them from which borders they got out of
Syria, and at what borders their exit visas were
stamped [land - sea - air], and indeed the officer
started mentioning the names, and every
passenger was saying which way he went out
and took the exit visa, but surprisingly to me, all
the passengers had gone out by sea, only me
who went out through the land border, But I was
very lucky because he did not mention my
name, I don’t know why maybe he passed it
without noticing, and after they finished the
questions they told us to take our luggage, go to
the inspection area, and I really went quickly
and brought my luggage, and they told us not to
forget to take our passports After completing the
inspection of our luggage, And when we went to
the inspection, actually. Many of the security
men were waiting at the exit of the boat, but the
only thing I focused on was how to get my
passport without problems, get out of the port
safely, and when I got to the exit they searched
me, it was easier than I imagined, and I rushed
to the receiving area Passports, out of my
anxiety, the first person arrived at the passport
collection area, and I stood in front of the
receiving booth, and found many passports they
had, and I knew at the time that these passports
were for the boat that took me from Turkey to
Syria, My passport between them, and the one
that surprised me more was how the passports
arrived before the travelers, was a strange thing
for me, I know that in Turkey they received
passports and they will not give them to us until
we arrive, but I did not expect that the passports
would arrive before the travelers, so when I got
to the booth, the employee asked me About my
name and I answered him, and he said to me:
Give me the exit paper that I took from the
border visa offices between Lebanon and Syria
[In Syria, when a citizen leaves Syria through
the land or sea borders, he gets a paper called
the exit paper, and when he returns to Syria he
must return it to the border when entering , Or
pay a fine] I told him that I do not carry this
paper, knowing that I remember putting it in my
wallet, when I received it at the time of my
departure from Syria, and tried to find it, But I
could not find it, so he told me to wait far away
until we finish with the rest of the passengers,
and indeed after I reached the first person I
stayed for almost the last person, But what
scared me was that I did not carry Syrian
currency in my pocket, but only carried the US
dollar currency, and the misfortune was that it
was strictly forbidden for citizens to carry US
dollars with them. Because if anyone finds this
currency with him, he may be imprisoned.
Because Syria is at war, And here I said, This is
my end, I will never be able to do anything, and
after I waited for a while, the employee called
me and took me to a place a little further away,
he began with my question: Why do I not carry
the border exit card with me? I answered him: I
lost it, and I forgot that I must bring this paper
with me, because it has been a long time for me
while I was outside the country, He told me that
I must pay a fine, so I told him, believe me, that
I do not carry money with me [when he asked
for the fine, I thought that he wanted a financial
bribe, not just the fine], and I told him I would
like to give you some money too, and he
answered me, I am not asking you for a
financial bribe, I am asking Only the monetary
fine, He was a very good person with me, so I
told him I will be honest with you, because I
only carry the US dollar currency, and I told
him that I forgot to exchange the dollar currency
into Syrian currency, and I do not know what to
do, so I turned the employee around him and
whispered to me and said: I am a young man
Like you, take this your passport, and go
quickly. I will solve this issue with my
knowledge. Do not worry, and I really thanked
him a lot, and I ran outside from the intensity of
my tension and my fear, I did not notice the
presence of a bus that takes passengers from the
passport collection area to outside the port, The
port is very big, and I kept running until I
reached the port gate, but the unexpected thing
was sitting at the port gate many officers and
soldiers of the army, so I was shocked, i did not
finsh yet, I am tired, also saw the passenger
transport bus had gone out, and I was the only
one who would pass in front of these officers
and soldiers, and they would certainly stop me
and ask me a lot of questions, and indeed upon
my arrival they started asking how Turkey is,
and they also asked security questions, but like
usual my papers are legal affairs no one can hurt
me, and after they finished they let me cross,
wishing me a safe way, I went out from the port
gate and waited for a taxi to take me to the
house of my brother's friend in the city of
Tartous, and upon my arrival, I explained to him
what had happened, and I asked him about the
time of the buses going to Aleppo. He told me
within two hours that I could find a bus, and I
went to the Tartous bus station and booked a
bus to Aleppo city.

The road from Tartous to

Aleppo:
My city, Aleppo, Al-Shahba, and my destination
will remain even if it is cut off. The feeling of
happiness does not leave me now, the time of
the bus departure, separating me from my lover
for a few hours, and of course I passed many
checkpoints, but I did not care much because I
got used to that.
Because of the many longing and crowding of
ideas, and the eagerness that enters my soul, I
did not feel fear of the checkpoints and the
constant searches, I arrived in my city of
Aleppo, which I missed so much, But the shock
was when I arrived at the garage of the city of
Aleppo because of my happiness, I tried to
remember how I could go to my house, so I
started walking left and right, trying to
remember which bus could take me to my area
that I used to live in, but after many attempts I
decided to take a taxi And finished thinking, I
actually took a taxi and arrived at my area of my
house, and I had two friends waiting for me, so I
was very happy to see them and we all went to
my house to see my family.

My family surprise:
In the popular Syrian accent, “Who is at the
door” was my mother’s question when my
friends knocked on the door. My friend said to
my mother: "I am Muhammad's friend and I
have a something for you, please can you
receive it?".
Indeed, my mother opened the door, and here
was the shock to my mother, as she did not
expect me to come, so she hugged me very
much, as well as my siblings, but the truth was
the biggest shock for me, because I did not
expect that I arrived after all the torture and
hardship that I faced on the way, I was hugging
my mom and my siblings, but I was feeling like
a stranger, like I'm not part of the family, maybe
because of the trauma I faced, Even my sister
told me: “I feel that you do not want to hug me.”
Of course, I put a lot of excuses for her that I am
tired, and I cannot focus because of the road and
its difficulty, I was very pleased with my arrival
to my home after a long absence.
I felt that I had achieved an achievement. I
stayed in Syria after my return from Turkey for
twenty-nine days,I did not finish the month even
because of the difficulties and bad conditions
that Syria was experiencing.

Difficulties and the reason for

the early return from Syria and
the failure to complete a full
month in Syria:
I faced many difficulties in Syria after my
return, so I could not see all my friends except
for some who are the only ones with their
families, and they are not required to perform
military service by the state, and the living life
was very expensive of course because of the
war, In the first week I hastened to make
academic postponement papers; In order to have
a longer period so that they would not be
summoned me to military service, and also I
extended my passports and made some
documents, and in the second week I was almost
alone, not going anywhere and I had no friends
to go with, And during my visit to Syria, my
grandmother also passed away.
The situation was very bad until I reached a
point, I called my brother in Turkey, and I was
crying,I told him: My presence in Syria is more
than that a waste of time no more, so he asked
me to arrange my affairs, and return to Turkey,
as well he asked me when I will return to
Turkey to take his friend with me and that I
would only go back with his friend.
Indeed, I spoke to my brother's friend, and
asked him to be ready in a few days. Because I
will soon set out, and I gave him some advice
and instructions that he must do in order not to
pose a danger to me or to him on the road, and
among these tips is that he shaves his beard and
collect all his papers. Because I have gone
through these difficulties, and learned from
them, and I do not want us to have any problems
on our way,
Unfortunately, he did not follow all the things
that I told him about, and at the same time I
tried to contact my workplace in Turkey,
perhaps I would not lose my work there, but
unfortunately, I lost it and for my return from
Syria to Turkey, she needed a plan.

Return plan from Syria to

Turkey:
The return plan was structured in one way.
Because I was carrying a return card on the ship
[boat], from Tartous to Turkey, but many
surprises happened, and when it came time to
leave I prepared my luggage and went to the bus
station with my brother’s friend, and
unfortunately my brother’s friend did not shave
his beard. I got angry with him and told him I
hope That there are no problems for us on the
road because of your beard, this person did not
know what the Khanasser road means and what
the checkpoints mean on this road, and we got
on the bus, and started the return journey.

Return journey:
The bus took off, I was not very tense, I was just
thinking about how to get to the city of Tartous,
and prove my reservation in the boat of return,
We passed several checkpoints, and we faced
some problems because of [the beard] of my
brother’s friend, but everything was fine and
when we arrived in Tartous I went to prove my
reservation directly, and to book for the friend
of my brother a return trip with me, but when
we got to the ships company, they told us that
there are no longer trips from the Syrian port of
Tartus to the Turkish port of Mersin, So, I got
very angry, and I asked how to go to Turkey, the
response was through Lebanon, there is no other
solution, go to Lebanon, and in Lebanon there is
a branch of the same company that booked
through it, and from there I can confirm the
reservation, so that I can return to Turkey. I was
angry and a little desperate; This delay may
cause a loss of my work in Turkey, so we spent
one night in the Syrian city of Tartous, and we
set off the next day to the Syrian city of
Damascus, and we also stayed a day there with a
friend, and we had to take a private car. Because
the road from Damascus to the Syrian Lebanese
borders is very difficult, We were able to cross
the Syrian border easily, but the misfortune was
at the Lebanese border. When we arrived at the
Lebanese border, they immediately stamped me.
Because I had a [return] return card while they
did not allow my brother’s friend to cross, and
they told him he had to wait like the rest of the
people, we had to let the private car pass, we
would not be able to pass easily, and the driver
could not wait, the border police took the
passport from my brother’s friend, and we were
waiting For more than seven hours, Then an idea
came to my mind, so I told my friend to tell the
officer that he wanted an entry visa for only
twenty-four hours, no more, and the idea
actually worked, and they gave him the entry
visa, and we went to the Lebanese city of
[Bekaa], and the next day my friend decided to
stay with his relatives for several days, so I said
To him: I cannot stay because I am in a hurry,
and I must reach Turkey as soon as possible,
and we were dispersed at that time. I continued
my way on my own to the Lebanese city of
Tripoli to make reservation, and he remained
with his relatives, I arrived in Tripoli, fixed my
reservation, and visited [Abu Muhammad's]
house. They were happy as usual to be among
them, and the next day I went to the port of
Tripoli again, and the trip set off, but this time I
was wary of many things. I had a coat and food,
and I arrived At Turkey, but it was very easy;
Because I knew what to do, and I really went
back to my home in Istanbul.
I lost my job due to my delay in returning to
Istanbul, but it was not a major crisis for me;
Because I know that I will find another job,
because I speak the Turkish language a bit, and I
actually managed to work in a wholesale
clothing store, and I worked for a year and a
half, or maybe less I do not remember well, and
after that my brother and I were able to take our
family out and visit Turkey, Of course, my
brother and I worked for long hours, and we
were able to rent a house, and our financial
situation was good during that period, and on
the day my family came to Turkey, we were
very tense and happy, we went to receive them.
My feeling on that day was indescribable from
the intensity of joy, and the thing that I thought
was that I had achieved A great achievement, to
be able to bring my family to Turkey, and when
I met them, my joy for their arrival doubled, and
a lot of things have changed, Their coming to us
and living with us increased my sense of
happiness and physical and psychological
comfort, as I was able to eat the cooking that my
mother makes again, and hearing my father’s
voice at home made me feel reassured, and my
sister’s tenderness and concern gave me
strength, and the voice of my little brother who
used to fill the house reminds me of With my
childhood, those moments are unforgettable;
Because it made me feel strong, and that I had
achieved something that was not easy to
achieve, but living in Turkey was not easy for
them; Because they did not have friends or
relatives who spoke their language, and were
unable to communicate with the Turkish people,
as they did not speak the language, And they
also thought that they could have a lot of time
with us, but the truth was completely different
from what they thought; Because my brother
and I were working for a long time, it was more
than twelve hours a day, and we only had one
day off, and this thing made them a little
disappointed, in addition to that we were not
able to register my brothers in school directly,
because we were suffering from economic
problems, We had to wait a few months to be
able to economically, and to register them, we
had beautiful moments, four months have
passed since they were in Istanbul, how
beautiful days were, but unfortunately these
moments did not last, so the decision to return to
Syria was a great shock to me and my brother,
My brother and I discussed the reasons with
them, and the reasons were somewhat
convincing, which is my Siblings should go to
school, and in Turkey entering schools is very
difficult, and they told us that my younger
Siblings should study for their future, and after a
short period of time they packed up their
belongings and left and after They left me and
my older brother we were passing a period of
depression, And we sat one day talking about
our situation and what we will do in the future,
and we found that we work more than twelve
hours a day, and we only have one day to rest,
and that the money that we have or that we get
cannot build a future for us, and also the reason
for the departure of our family is The inability
to send our Siblings to school, so we decided at
that time to set a new goal to enable us to build
a better life, which is immigration to Europe.

Immigration to Europe:
After a long discussion and deep thinking with
my brother, we decided to leave Turkey and
immigrate to Europe, and we really started
preparing. The decision to leave was a final
decision despite all the difficulties that we
would face, but our determination and
determination was greater than all the
difficulties that we encountered, we had to
collect a sum of Money, and it is difficult to
collect at the time, so there must be someone
who can lend us an amount of money, in
addition to working heavily (overtime), and
trying to sell home furniture in order to collect
the amount so that we can go to Europe.
Immigration is not an easy thing for us, after we
learned to live in Turkey, we got acquainted
with the customs and traditions of society, we
met and got acquainted with many people, and
built our own society, we must leave everything
behind and move on to a new future, and build
another life elsewhere, and in that period We
were trying to collect as much information
about Europe, and after long thinking, my
brother and I decided that our destination would
be the Netherlands, but the main problem in our
decision was that we could not collect the
sufficient amount, and as usual I only had to ask
for the amount from my second mother She is
the mother who did not give birth to me, but is
the one who has supported me throughout my
entire life(Shukria Aliwi).
She is the person who stood beside me at all
stages of my development, the person who used
to advise me without any return, the person who
was directing me to the right in an indirect way;
To make me build my thoughts and rely on
myself, she taught me a lot of things, and at that
time also when I was in a state of despair, I
decided to ask her for the amount that I needed,
and indeed despite the difficult circumstances,
she gave me the amount, and with all openness,
After that, my brother and I moved to the next
stage, which is finding a smuggler so we can
cross the sea to Europe, and looking for a
smuggler in Turkey is not very difficult, but it is
a dangerous matter, and it involves a risk of
money that will be paid to it, and also,
smugglers in general cannot be trusted Many of
them lie and make the matter easy and simple
for you, and they try to convince you that
crossing the sea is easy, and the number in the
rubber boat will not be large ... etc., and indeed
after a great effort, and the question is a lot we
were able to find a smuggler who does not take
much money, And we heard that he had sent
many trips, and they had reached safety, but my
brother and I naturally did not trust him, but we
had no other solution, and we actually spoke to
him, and he told us to prepare, and we can live
in his house after we hand over our house to its
owner And from his home, it will be the starting
point to the sea and from the shores of the
Turkish sea to the shores of the Greek sea, and
actually after an agreement with him we
delivered our house and sold the furniture for a
very small amount, and we went to an office to
insure our money for fear of treachery, This
process is carried out by most people who want
to immigrate to a country that they cannot enter
without a visa, and because most people do not
trust the smugglers, they go to offices to put
their money at any office they may trust, and
take from the office owner a code (password),
and this code They give it to the smuggler after
they cross the sea so that the smuggler can get
the money, and if he tries to cross the sea and
fails to cross, the smuggler will not be able to
take the money; Because he does not have the
code, In this way, the right of the immigrant can
be guaranteed,
after handing over our house we went to live in
the smuggler’s house until he was told that there
was a trip, and we actually went to a park in an
area called Aksaray, there were many people
waiting for their travel, but unfortunately no one
was able to climb to any One of the buses rented
by smugglers to go to the designated point;
Because there are a lot of police officers who
are crowded around the place, as if they know
about the smuggling journey,that is why the
trips were canceled that day, and unfortunately
we made many successive attempts on
subsequent days, but all of them were
unsuccessful, until the promised day came, and
the matter was done, after many attempts failed,
On that day we went as usual to the park, and
because we got used to standing up for no
benefit, my brother asked to go to the bathroom,
and of course I did not object, as we got used to
standing for hours without anything happening,
except this time, as soon as my brother went to
the bathroom, the bus came that would take us
to the specified point, and here I began to
shiver, anxious and afraid as I waited for my
brother, People go up to the buses while my fear
increases, my heart beats between my ribs, my
brother is late, and the bus cannot stop. Because
it is a danger to the driver, the bus has set off,
and I watch him like a child whose love of life
left him and remained without hope, I screamed
strangely, I screamed hysterically when my
brother came back, I did not know what to do,
my tears dulled my cheeks and the pain of
sadness engulfed my chest, but we had no trick,
so what happened happened, We returned to the
smuggler's house and we were both embraced
by sadness. We were thinking that we would
cancel travel and surrender to live in Turkey,
except that we hope God will soon. The second
day the good news came and the promised day.
The smuggler told us that we were going to
leave in the evening, and he assured us that, and
we actually went and managed to get onto the
bus at last, the bus was full of people, but we
didn't care about it, we just want to arrive, and
they told us that the point will be in an area
called Chanakkale, Indeed, after we reached the
point, it was very dark, and suddenly the bus
stopped and a person got up screaming, and he
was very drunk, speaking very bad words, so
my brother and I understood, but we did not
respond, he was carrying a weapon, And
everyone inside the bus was afraid, he ordered
everyone to get off and walk behind him, and
actually we started walking in the woods and
my brother wanted to ask him when we were
going to arrive, and suddenly he hit him on the
face, but my brother chose to remain silent over
talking to him. Because of the weapon this
person carried, and according to everyone's
belief, this smuggler is Afghani; Because
someone heard him speak another language,
And my brother and I continued our journey
with everyone until we got to the sea, and then
the man asked some people to go with him, to
bring the rubber boat, and some men actually
went to fetch it, but they could not, because they
were stopped by the police, There was with us at
the starting point one of the smugglers who
received a call from one of the smugglers that
the police are coming, and that the journey will
not take place, and we really did not succeed in
crossing, because the police came, and we were
transferred to the police station, Not only were
we detained, but they took us back to another
city, which is Ankara, we were not sent back to
Istanbul, and we went to the smuggler again,
and we explained what happened, how bad the
treatment was, and that we will not go through
him again, But we promised that the next
attempt will be simpler and out of trouble;
Because he does not know what is happening
there, and actually, after a day, I think, we set
off to another point, and on the bus we met a
new friend, he was a respectable, cultured
person, and he was a friend of our trip until
now, and he is (Maher Tofah).
When we reached the point, we were near the
sea, we walked a little until we reached the sea,
there were many people preparing the inflatable
boats, but the problem was that there was no
driver driving the inflatable boat; Because no
one is good at driving, and from here the death
journey begins from the Turkish mainland to
the Greek mainland.
Death journey from the
Turkish mainland to the
Greek mainland:
We are now on the beach, waiting for the
inflatable boats to fill with air, the smuggler was
looking for someone to drive the boat, and he
offered me money to drive the boat, but I
refused, so I could not play with people's lives,
so he left me and went to a boy who was nearly
sixteen years old, he asked him to drive, and the
boy agreed. I was amazed at his approval.
He is not considered an adult, and he does not
know how to ride a bicycle so that he can drive
an inflatable boat, and worse than that, our
number was very large, including about forty-
seven people with children.
The smuggler used the boy as a means of
pressure on people to drive the boat, and indeed
a Palestinian person drove at the beginning, so
my brother and my friend Maher and I took
specific places in the inflatable boat, my place
next to the driving engine. Because I did not
trust anyone, but my brother was in the middle
of the boat, and our friend was in the front, and
people got on the inflatable boat, and they had
their bags with them, and of course because of
the overload on the rubber boat, people had to
leave their bags on the beach.
We started the journey, and the inflatable boat
set off, splitting the sea water, and after a little
while, what was unexpected happened, the
engine stopped while we were still in the sea
from the Turkish side, and it was dark, we are
still inside the sea from the Turkish side, and it
is dark, so we set off at two in the morning, and
the engine is weak, so smugglers put in the
inflatable boats the worst types of very old
engines, and this type of engine cannot propel
the rubber boat that carries forty-seven people,
Which is supposed to carry fourteen people
only, and accordingly, the engine cannot carry
us for a long distance, and we must rest the
engine every period.
I knew that because my studies were in the
mechanical field.
On the contrary, he kept trying to operate it, but
to no avail, I felt the danger had begun to
surround everyone, and the feeling of anxiety
began to control me specifically, and here I had
to do anything.
So I called the smuggler and threatened him
either to tell the Turkish Coast Guard to come
and rescue us, or he sends us another engine,
and I tried to behave as smartly as possible, so I
used his weakness which is money, If you tell
the Turkish coast guard, he will lose money
from the immigrants and he will lose the
migrants, because he did not help them, and
otherwise we will complain about him, and
indeed the method that i followed with him has
worked, He was so scared, and he told me, 'I'll
send you someone with a new engine.' We just
have to wait half an hour, and actually after half
an hour the person arrived with the new engine,
Meanwhile, my brother and friend were
communicating with an organization that helps
refugees in Greece, and they also contacted the
Greek coast guard.
After changing the engine, I decided to drive the
boat. If I leave the driving to someone else, he
will not be able to drive the boat wisely, as I
will.
The situation in the inflatable boat was filled
with horror, so I had to help the terrified
children and women, and whenever I looked at
the water, I ask myself how many meters the
depth of the sea below might be.
I was also very frightened until now I still
remember the face of the lady praying for me
and begging me to keep driving the rubber boat,
and I was really able to drive and focus, I was
driving exactly according to the direction of the
moonlight, Because the Greek island was facing
the moonlight.
A sense of responsibility was weighing on me as
I drove the boat, I was not afraid for myself, but
I was very afraid for the people, and this gave
me strength and enough courage until we were
finally able to cut the territorial borders between
Turkey and Greece.
I tried very hard to put a smile on my face, and
psychologically support the passengers of the
boat that we are fine and we only have to pray
to God, and God knows that we are immigrants
because of the wars in our country, and God will
protect us, knowing that I was more afraid from
them, and they should have been calm. Because
our number is large, and the inflatable boat is
small. If one of the passengers move, he could
tip the rubber boat, and we all drowned.
After we crossed the regional borders, the Greek
coast guard came, and was asking me to stop,
and he told me that he was from Europe, not
from Turkey, except that some passengers were
terrified because they believed that the coast
guard was not Greek but rather Turkey, and here
I should not stand, and others were telling me
that I stand, which caused me tension, so I
shouted at the top of my voice, be silent, and
after they were silent, I asked my brother if we
crossed the regional borders, because I do not
trust anyone but him, My brother answered me:
Yes, we crossed. Then I asked our friend Maher
what the police said, and he told me: He says
European. Here I decided to stop. My brother
and Maher are people I can trust, The guard
arrived and told us to wait in the water until the
sentry ship came to pick us up, and indeed a big
ship came, and started to transport people, and
of course because of my sense of responsibility,
I was one of the last people who got on the ship
after helping people to board,
It was around half past five in the morning, and
the sun had begun to rise, I sat silently looking
at its sunrise, and I had the feeling of the person
who was representing a movie, and the sunrise
was the end of the film, I was thankful to God
for the strength and wisdom that He gave me
while I was in the sea, and I thank him because I
ended the responsibility that I assumed against
my will.
But I learned from this experience to wish
people well, and God will deliver me from the
worst thing that might happen, and I was
looking at the faces of the people that were
speaking with expressions painted on the face
and were waiting to reach the Greek island of
Mytilene and after about an hour we arrived at
the island of Mytilene.

Mytilene Island 02/22/2016:

After the Greek coast guard ship docked on the
shores of Mytilene Island, people began to
descend to the land, and there was a group of
employees of humanitarian organizations
greeting us there, and they were trying to help
everyone by providing water and some food,
and they were trying to calm the people;
Because they were very afraid, they did not
know what was next. Indeed, after my brother
and my friend and I got off the ship, we decided
to stay with each other, and try to be coherent,
and as I said before, our destination was to the
Netherlands, and our friend was heading to
Holland. This thing helped us all. Our
destination is one,
After that, we asked one of the organizations
about the procedures that must be followed to
reach the Greek border to complete our way to
the Netherlands, and they replied that we will
wait for parties that take us to a camp to register
our arrival in Greece until we become legal in
Greece, and then we can go to the Greek-
Macedonian border, and we actually waited for
the buses Until all people came and went up to
the registration camp.

Registration camp:
When we arrived at the registration camp,
people came and stood regularly, waiting for
their turn to enter the offices to register and
obtain a paper proving that they are legal in
Greece, and this paper is in fact, as a personal
identity paper from the police and its validity
period is only six months, after that the holder
of the police note (personal identity paper) must
leave Greece.
Unfortunately, from here, our bad journey began
because we are singles people because they used
to take families before singles, I don’t know
why, but we felt that they were dealing with
single people with a lack of interest under the
slogan that families cannot bear but singles can
bear‫ز‬
But we did not care much, despite their racism
against single people, but we waited until our
turn came to enter the registry office in which
there is a police employee and he was very nice
and his style gives hope, he asked me some
personal questions so that he could register me
and he made me fingerprint as well, but after he
finished my registration I asked him an
important thing, which is to verify my
information because unfortunately there are
many employees who do not care and register
people's names incorrectly, which leads to a big
problem.
Because changing the name is not an easy thing
in Greece, it needs the approval of the public
prosecutor, but the employee did not have any
problem, and indeed after we finished the
registration me, my brother and my friend, we
went out and asked what the following
procedures are, so they said we can go and book
a ship from Mytilene to Athens and a bus from
Athens to The Greek-Macedonian border, and
actually after we discussed with my brother and
our friends we decided to go straight for the
reservation.
Because we want to arrive as soon as possible
and we set out to book tickets , and we booked it
and waited for the date of our trip, and there was
a woman with us and her children who asked us
to accompany them on our trip, and we agreed,
it was a woman with two teenage boys and her
twenty-four-year-old daughter, We got on the
ship, it was a big ship, and the journey was
about twelve hours, as far as I can remember in
the ship, the only good opportunity for us to
sleep, so my brother and I agreed to take turns
to sleep because we were afraid of theft. We
were worried because the ship was full of
people of different nationalities, but
unfortunately we all fell asleep from tiredness
and exhaustion, and after several hours we woke
up and sat and talked We draw hopes and plans
and support each other psychologically, and
after several more hours the ship arrived at the
port of Athens.

Athens port:
After we reached the port of Athens, we carried
our luggage and disembarked from the ship, but
we did not imagine how many refugees on
board the ship and the refugees arriving by the
other ships and the refugees who are waiting
inside the port, after we got off, the police used
to direct us to the waiting area until we wait for
the bus companies to come and take us to the
Greek-Macedonian border, and in the waiting
place there were hundreds of refugees,
unspeakable numbers, so that we could not find
a place where we could sit and charge our
mobile phones because we had no charge left
with our phones, so that we can communicate
with our families.
The thing I have forget to Mention it that my
brother and I did not tell our family that we
would immigrate to Europe, because we were
afraid that they would become anxious and
afraid, but when we arrived, my brother told
them, and they were sad because the distances
between us had become so large.
We were able to find a place to charge our
mobile phones, but as usual we took turns
sitting next to the phones for fear of theft, and
after about an hour the bus that would take us to
the Greek border arrived, so I, my brother and
the family that had with us rushed to collect our
bags and go to the bus, and we took our
locations and asked how long it would be We
need to get to the Greek-Macedonian border.
As far as I remember, they told us that we
would need about eight to nine hours, and the
bus set off. We were happy that we would soon
reach the border.
Some people also told us that crossing Greece is
the most difficult stage because after Greece we
will not need to bother because we will take
trains and metros, and things will be simple and
easy.
But after several hours of departure, the bus
stopped at a resting place and we all got off to
buy something to eat and drink because we were
very hungry, but what happened was
unexpected that the bus driver received a call
from the person responsible for him and told
him not to move from the place of rest until he
received another call from him And the bus
driver told the people about that, and the people
were upset and angry and were very scared, but
what happened was not the driver's desire, and
the driver also told us that we are expected to
wait for hours, so I discussed with my brother
and my friend and decided to wait because we
had no solution only to wait.
Suddenly a car loaded with food, drink and
some apples came to people, and they
distributed them to people as if they were telling
people not to worry that we were following your
steps, so people calmed down, so my brother
and my friend went to the car park and put the
sleeping bags that were distributed to us when
we arrived at Mytilene Island, but before bed we
were narrating some Funny stories happened
with us during our trip, we were laughing a lot,
and we were laughing at some people acting
weird.
After about two hours, the bus driver told us that
we could go, so we were all very happy, and the
bus did indeed start, but after two or three hours
we arrived at a place surrounded by a fence, and
there were soldiers inside it as if it were a
military zone, and the bus stopped there and
there were more than ten buses other than us as
well and everyone was asking Why did we stop
here, and after a while they told us that we will
sit inside this camp because the borders are
crowded, and there are many people on the
borders, and if we go to the borders we will not
have a place to sleep there, so we all got angry,
but they also told us that we are forced to go
down, and it was There are many soldiers, so we
got scared and surrendered to the status quo, and
we went down and entered the camp, which was
called Diavata Camp.

Diavata camp:
When we entered the camp, there were
responsible for organizing the camp and
distributing people to the caravans, and we were
distributed to a caravan, and the Lebanese
family asked us to stay with us, we assumed,
because they were afraid of the new situation
and afraid of the future, and we were hoping
that we would not stay for many Time and we
sat with each other, and they told us when we
entered that the Greek army is distributing food.
If we want, we can go and bring some food.
Indeed, after we settled in the caravan
(container), I went to bring some food, and they
gave me some rice, but unfortunately, the rice
was not well cooked, and it was full of stones,
so no one could eat it, so we threw it, and we
did not eat. We come to Europe with greed for
something, and we are not prisoners in Europe
to be treated this way, we have come to escape
from war, for nothing else. I do not judge who
made the food, but there were some people who
made us feel weak, but the worst is that the
camp doors closed, and they told us that we
would not be allowed By going outside the
camp.
Here we felt that we were being held, and that
we were in a closed camp, and we sat thinking
but it was useless, and we slept inside the
caravan and woke up the next morning and saw
some people planning to escape, and here I told
my brother, my friend and the family and we
agreed to flee with them, and we actually
prepared our belongings and set off after the
people broke off the fence, and we started.
Running, but we were not alone, so there were
many people behind us, and we walked for
about an hour in the barren land full of thorns
until we reached the highway, and we walked a
little on the road until we reached a petrol
station, and we stopped there to buy water and
some food and continue our way, but the girl
The Lebanese woman said that she would not be
able to walk any longer, so we sat discussing
and decided to rent a taxi for the border. Indeed,
my friend asked the owner of the petroleum
station if he could call a driver to take us to the
Greek border, and indeed he called a taxi driver
and came to take us, but he tried to take
advantage of us, so he asked for a hundred euros
to take us to Borders and we agreed and set
off,but in the middle of the road there was a
police checkpoint, preventing the taxi carrying
the refugees from completing the road and
unloading them. Indeed, this is what happened
so we had to go down and the place was
crowded with people and tents and people could
not pass, so of course the taxi driver tried to take
advantage of the situation and asked for the full
hundred euros, so I refused of course and told
him that we agreed If we reached the borders
and you could not deliver us, I will only give
you fifty euros and I know that it is a lot, but I
do not want to argue with this position that we
are in, so he agreed to the fifty and left and here
as usual we sat thinking about a solution and we
got to know some young men who were very
respectful and decided to go within the
agricultural lands and in this They will not be
able to stop us, and we will continue walking to
the Greek-Macedonian border, in the Idomeni
region.

Idomeni border camp:

We arrived at Idomeni border camp on
02/24/2016, the situation was very quiet, and we
met employees of human rights organizations,
and they asked us to enter the police office to
stamp papers that prove that we are legal in
Greece, and after we entered the police have
stamped our papers, In addition to a stamp that
states that our destination is Germany, even
though our destination was Holland, So we
asked why, and they told us that because most
people go to Germany, the Greek government
decided to grant the stamp of destination to
Germany, and they told us that there is no
problem with that, We can go to the
Netherlands, and they gave us a group number,
which is a hundred and twenty-two, and this
number means other groups in front of us, and
we must wait until it is our turn. To cross the
Greek border to the Macedonian border.
In Idomeni camp, there are hangars that contain
beds, but the number of people in Idomeni camp
was very large, and the number of people there
were not enough, so people used to buy tents
and stay outside the hangars inside small tents,
but our problem is that we arrived at Idomeni
camp at 5 am We did not know that we should
bring tents with us, so we could not do anything
so my brother and my friend and I made an open
tent, after we found a place where we could stay
among the existing tents, and after we got some
blankets from the organizations, we put the
blankets on the existing fence. Behind us, we
tied some blankets with ropes to protect us from
the air that was coming from everywhere.
In fact, we did some success, but the problem
was that the Lebanese family had with us, and
we had to take care of them since we decided to
take them with us, so we told them to sleep from
the side of the fence, because it was safer for
them and we slept on the outside, and we can
say we slept on the way of Crossing the
pedestrians, but we had no other solution, and
we were all very tired just looking for a rest, but
what happened in the morning was one of the
things that happened with us during our trip,
which is that we woke up because people were
stomping on us because we were sleeping in
The pedestrian corridor, and unfortunately in
those moments we decided to do something,
because it is possible that we will stay in the
Idomeni camp for days until it is our turn to
cross the border, and we will not be able to
sleep the way we do.
Indeed, on the same day, we asked how it is
possible to get a tent to accommodate us. Some
people told us that there is a petrol station and
they have tents, but the petrol station is far from
the camp and it requires us to walk six and a
half kilometers, which equates to an hour and
twenty-five minutes to arrive, and actually We
have told the family that we are going to the
petroleum station, hopefully we can find a tent
there and we actually walked until we arrived,
and asked for a tent and it was already there,
and we bought the tent and bought some food,
and things that we may need in the coming days,
and we went back to the camp with the tent with
us, And we prepared it and arranged the tent.
The Lebanese family managed to find a place
inside the hangars on beds, and I, my brother
and my friend stayed in the small tent, and we
began to explore the camp situation and what
we can do during our stay, unfortunately the
situation was very dire, the organizations were
distributing food to people but the food they
were distributing It is not enough to feed a small
child, which was most of the time (a piece of
bread with a spoonful of jam and a box of juice
-or-a sandwich and inside it a piece of cheese
and a box of juice and sometimes a piece of fruit
if it was found, and sometimes they distribute
one egg to each person if found).
But the problem is not only that the food is little
and not enough, but how you can get it, because
the number of hungry people was large, and
most of the people did not have money to buy
food, and they had run out of money, and the
misfortune was that anyone who wanted food
had to stand and wait for his turn. But the turn
was very long, so I remember standing next to
the place of distribution and looking at the turn
from the beginning, but I could not see the end
unfortunately, the turn was very long and I did
not want to stop for a long time in the first
periods in order to get a piece of bread, because
it will not satisfy me, but after we all ran out of
money, me, my brother and my friend, we had
to wait for our turn to get food because we had
no other solution. Either we starve to death or
stand for hours to get something to eat, but the
problem was if you stood waiting for your turn,
this does not mean that you will You reach the
place where the food is distributed, and you get
it because the food may run out and you will not
be able to eat, and this is what happened with us
for several times, we have been waiting for a
long time and we cannot take the food because
it has run out.
After this thing happened, we sat talking, and
we used to say that we must get some money to
be able to live until it is our turn to cross into
Macedonia, and the turn has been stuck in
Group No. Sixty-six for a long time, and we did
not know why, but after several days the police
arrested A doctor working in a medical
organization, because he received money in
exchange for writing false medical reports for
refugees, proving that they are sick and
vulnerable people, which leads to them being
allowed by the Greek and Macedonian police to
cross, and this is the reason that the turn was
stopped at the number sixty-six, but after
Several days, the European Union announced
the closure of the borders, and not allowing
refugees to cross the borders until the European
Union held a meeting to discuss refugee matters,
and in the meantime we started to feel that we
will stay in Idomeni camp for a long time, so we
started trying to collect some money, because
we had no money left, so we contacted People
who can support us financially, and lend us
some money, and we actually supported each
other, me, my brother and my friend, and we
used to share the bread broke together, and we
support each other morally, and we plan and
consult with each other in any decision or thing
we want to do, It was tough times for us and for
all the people out there.

Idomeni status in general:

The situation was very bad for all the refugees
in Idomeni camp because getting food was one
of the difficult things and the mobile phone
charging process needed long patience.
Mobile phone charging:
When anyone wants to charge his mobile phone,
he needs to sit next to the place where the
mobile phones are charged for a period of more
than two hours, if there is a place to charge the
mobile, and in the event that there is no place to
charge the mobile, you must wait until a place
for charging is empty, and the waiting process
can take half An hour for two hours, and the
problem is that the person who does not find a
place to charge his mobile, cannot go because
he will not be able to find a place when he
returns easily, and he cannot leave his mobile
with anyone because it can be easily stolen, and
theft has occurred in a large way, because some
people leave their phones With someone or
leaving their devices on charging and leaving,
other than the problem of charging mobile
phones, people have been facing other
problems.
Evening noise:
Sometimes in the evening some people make a
lot of noise, which prevents other people from
sleeping, the sounds were unbearable, some
people were drunk all night, others were playing
cards, and some were walking and others
chatting, I can't blame everyone, because some
of them were anxious about the situation and
afraid for their children from the coming days.
Multiple nationalities and impersonation of a
Syrian:
There were also big problems happening there,
because those at the borders were not of one
nationality, there were many nationalities such
as Syrian, Iraqi, Pakistani, Afghani, Sudanese,
African ... etc., and I want to mention a very
important and basic problem and many
European people did not know it, and it is yet
The occurrence of the Syrian war and the
beginning of migration from Syria to Europe,
many people from Arab countries and other
countries have taken advantage of the
impersonation of Syrians, knowing that they are
from other Arab and non-Arab countries, and
they applied for asylum in European countries
as Syrians, knowing that they are from Other
nationalities, and this thing led to many
problems for the Syrians, because some
European people thought that the people who
cause problems were the Syrians, and of course
I do not generalize to everyone, and also I do
not say that all Syrians are good people, but the
presence of people of other nationalities
assumed the status of Syrian It led to giving the
European people a completely different idea of
the Syrian culture, customs, religious and
cultural traditions, because every person who
impersonated a Syrian gave an idea about his
culture and not about the Syrian culture, and this
is the problem. In all of Europe they are trying
to correct the idea that the European people
have taken about the Syrians, and I can now
mention the other things that people faced in
Camp Idomeni.

Hawkers:
Some hawkers, such as sellers of food,
vegetables, and mobile phone lines, took
advantage of the weak positions of people in
that camp, because the food that was distributed
to most of the people there was not enough for
them and their children were not enough, and
they were forced to buy food from hawkers, or
they must go to a restaurant to buy food, of
course. Eating in the restaurant is also
expensive, and people were forced to buy their
vegetables and their needs from hawkers, and
they also had to buy Greek lines for their
phones, because they had to check on their
families, and of course the hawkers were taking
advantage of the situation and raising prices on
people, because they knew that people were
stuck there. And they can't go anywhere.

Problems between Syrians and Afghans:

In Camp Idomeni, the Afghans were not
allowed to enter the Idomeni camp by the Greek
police, until now I don’t know why, the Afghans
were living outside the Idomeni camp, and some
of them were creating very big problems with
the Syrians, I cannot judge them. Perhaps they
were feeling racist, because They were not
allowed to enter the camp, but the daily
problems were going on between the camp
residents and the Afghans, and of course I, my
brother and my friend would close the tent and
start laughing, because these problems were not
our problems and we used to close the tent not
for fear of anything, but we are people who do
not like problems. But one day I remember that
the camp residents and the Afghans were setting
fire to each other and throwing it at each other,
the situation was unbelievable, so we just had to
stay in the tent.
Toilets:
The most difficult thing I encountered in
Idomeni as Muhammad, was the toilets, which
were too dirty to bear, and I suffered a lot
because of this issue, and what I used to do was
first go at night only, because there was no way
to enter the toilet before cleaning it, and then
using it, and secondly I had sterilizers, wipes
and things Another is for cleaning, and of
course an important thing that must always be
with me is a light (lamp), because there is no
light inside the toilets, unfortunately, and soap is
also a basic thing that I must have with me and
water bottles to wash the toilet, I used to wash
and sterilize the toilet every time I went in
Because the place was so dirty, and I apologize
for describing this thing.

Baths:
The bathrooms are one of the things that need a
strong heart and try to tolerate very cold, very
cold water, and also need cleaning tools and a
lamp, and this is essential.
The most difficult period for me was the period
of staying in Idomeni camp. I did not imagine
that one day I would stay in a place where I
would not only take a shower twice a month,
and on these two times I became ill because of
the coldness of the water. It touches my head
from the very cold, so I could not take a shower
only twice knowing there was a heating system
by sunlight, but this heating system is not
enough for several people only, and the problem
during my stay in Idomeni camp was in the
winter season, and this means that there is no
daily sunshine This made it even more difficult.

The decision to close the

Greek-Macedonian borders:
After a while we waited for the European
Union’s decision to solve the refugee crisis, the
European Union announced on 03/15/2016 that
the Greek-Macedonian borders would be closed
and that refugees would not be allowed to cross
into Europe, and that every asylum seeker in
Europe would apply for asylum in the first
European country to enter it. The European
Union provided an opportunity for people in
Greece at that time to apply for the relocation
program, which stipulates that people go to the
International Organization for Migration and
apply for relocation program, and the person
applying will be resettled to a country chosen by
one of the European countries. This decision led
to chaos, A large number of refugees started sit-
ins and peaceful demonstrations demanding the
opening of the borders.
Relocation program:
It is a program set up by European countries to
solve the refugee crisis, which stipulates that all
European Union countries must distribute
refugees to them, which is made when a refugee
submits a resettlement request and chooses ten
countries to which he wants to go and asks him
to arrange the countries in sequence from the
preferred country to him to the last country he
wants to go to, He waits, ranging from three to
six months.

Sit-ins and demonstrations to

open the borders:
After the European Union decided to close the
Greek-Macedonian borders in the face of
refugees, the refugees organized protest sit-ins
to open the borders, and they wrote the protest
match against the decision of the European
Union and the request to open the borders, and
of course the flags were doing their work and
photographing the sit-ins, but they could not do
anything unfortunately, and it was Idomeni
camp is full of chaos, but some people tried to
blame the Greek and Macedonian police, but
these people did not think that the Greek and
Macedonian police were doing their duty and
their work, the decision to close the borders was
not because of Greece or even Macedonia, so
when we saw what was happening, I, my
brother and my friend, we went and sat in Our
tent is far from trouble and we were very
desperate about these decisions.

People attempt to cross

borders by pressure:
When the sit-ins and demonstrations with the
people did not work, the people formed a large
group and went to the border gate and tried to
take it off, and the groups were made up of men,
women, children, young old men, in short they
were of all ages, and they tried to take off the
door of course, when people saw the group
began to take off the door And the fence, so I
went too and the number became large, and the
beautiful thing was the Macedonian police were
not trying to prevent people from breaking the
door, I do not know if they wanted to help
people, or they did not receive orders to prevent
people, or their number was small, I do not
know, but I remember well that they were Very
peaceful, but suddenly some stupid and
backward young men threw stones at the
Macedonian police, which made the
Macedonian police feel angry, so the
Macedonian police defended themselves, and
started throwing bullets in the air to keep people
away, but some people did not stop and the
young men kept throwing stones, which led To
the anger of the Macedonian police and
throwing teargas canisters to keep people away
from the borders, and in fact people moved
away from the borders, and people turned back,
but there was a child who had passed out and a
woman, as far as I remember, They helped them,
Here, the border crossing plan did not succeed,
but the Macedonian police did not forget the
faces of the young men who were throwing
stones, as we heard inside the camp in the
evening that these young men were handed over
to the Macedonian police, I do not know if it
was correct or not, but I know very well that
these young men They were arrested by the
Macedonian police and brought back from
Macedonia on emergency stretchers, and they
were taken to the hospital.

Meeting the Greek person

who speaks Turkish:
One day when we were sleeping in our small
tent, suddenly we heard a person speaking
Turkish, and as we were living in Turkey, we
spoke the Turkish language, so I, my brother
and my friend all woke up and went out to see
who was speaking, and as he was a Greek
person talking with our neighbor in the tent next
to us, and because we did not hear the Turkish
language for a while, so we started talking to
him, and he was a very friendly and kind
person, and he was called Uncle Paris
Papageorgiou, and he came from a city called
Katerini to Idomeni camp, only to help the
refugees as a volunteer, and he used to provide
assistance to people in need, who could not
support their families, He used to provide aid to
people without charge, and he also used to
provide other assistance to the needy through
the Evangelical Church, and he was kind-
hearted. If he saw a family in a bad situation, he
would cry involuntarily, and this person came
and gave us hope, and at the same time he
advised us and told us that he preferred not We
are waiting for the borders to open in this dire
situation, because often the borders will not
open again, because the decision issued by the
European Union is strict, and we advised to
return inside Greece, but of course because we
were hoping that the borders would open, we
decided that we would remain for a short period.
Only, if the borders did not open, we would
return to Turkey, and Uncle Paris kept coming
to us every period and communicating with him.

Trying to get a winter tent to

escape the rain:
On a night of bitter cold and heavy rain, we
were sleeping with my brother and our friend in
the summer tent that we bought from the
petroleum station, which is on the main road,
and which we were suffering a lot from because
it is a summer tent and rainwater seeped inside,
and also rainwater leaked from under the tent,
Because the land in Idomeni camp is dirt land,
and it is easy for rainwater to seep into it, but
one day we were sleeping, and it started to rain,
so we went outside as usual and put blankets at
the top of the tent because we did not have
nylon bags to cover it. we put the blanket on top
of the tent, we went back to sleep, but after a
little while the rain got worse and the blankets
got wet a lot, which led to the closing of the air
vents on us, and suddenly we all woke up
together at the same moment, and we were
suffering from shortness of breath, and on that
day we were all angry and very sad, and we sat
outside in the heavy rain And in the cold,
because we did not have a solution, our tent was
full of water and blankets too and all our things,
here I decided to go to an organization to get
new blankets, and also to ask them about a tent,
and I really was able to get blankets, but the
responsible told me because we are single
young men he could not give us a tent, and he
said that the families need tents more than us, so
I got angry and told him that we are in the rain,
and we have no place, and I even told him if you
want money, I will give you, so he said that he
does not want money, and he asked me to wait
for him in a place inside the camp full of mud
With other families, because he cannot give us
in front of all people, because the rest of the
people will also ask, and he does not have
much, and I actually went to the place and
waited for him four hours in the rain, my legs
dipped in mud in the dark, waiting for him to be
distributed to families first, until my turn came
And he gave me the tent, and out of my joy I
went to my brother and a friend running, to tell
them we were very happy that we would end the
rain problem, and indeed the next morning we
installed the new tent and I did not imagine in
my life that I would be happy just to have a tent,
but unfortunately this was a reality Idomeni
camp.

Crossing into Macedonia:

After we got a new tent, and after the European
Union issued the decision to close the borders,
and after the failure of sit-ins and
demonstrations by the people to open the Greek-
Macedonian borders and request that they be
allowed to cross into Europe, and after the
people failed to pressure the borders and try to
break the fence to cross, a group of people tried
to enter Macedonia is on the other side of the
border, which made the rest of the people think
about it, because a rumor spread among the
people that journalists would accompany the
group going to enter from the other side of the
border, and actually on a certain date I don't
remember exactly, I think in the third month of
2016. The people started walking towards the
other end of the border, and at that time, I, my
brother, and my friend were afraid to go,
because we were not sure of crossing, but we
were watching the number of people decrease in
Idomeni, due to their departure to cross the
border from the other side, so we sat talking
about what we will do Are we going to remain
sitting in our place watching people leave, or
should we pack our bags and try to cross like
others? We really decided to try because we will
not lose anything if we try, and we really packed
our bags and went with the rest of the people,
and we were excited. Very, because if we cross,
the Idomeni nightmare will end, and the dream
of the future and psychological comfort will
begin, but what happened on our way is
something we did not expect, I lost my brother
and my friend on the road because of the large
number of people heading to the border, and I
did not notice this thing directly, and suddenly I
was walking with my heavy bag on my back, I
looked behind me looking for my brother and
my friend to talk to them, I did not find them
and I stood in my place trying to find them, but I
could not find them because of the rugged
mountain road, and I could not find them
because I could not guess whether they had
preceded me or that I had gone before them, and
I had no balance on my mobile phone to
communicate With them, they did not have the
balance to communicate with me, in fact I
feared a bit, but I had to make a logical decision,
which is to continue my path. Either I find them
on my way, or they will find me when they
arrive, after walking about an hour, I heard a
voice from behind me He was calling me, and
he was my brother. When I saw him, I started
screaming at him because I was anxious, and we
agreed to continue walking side to side, and we
continued way and of course, along our way we
were seeing some journalists and media
professionals, and here we realized that the
rumor was not false and that it is possible to
cross into Macedonia, and we really continued
our bumpy road. Full of mud The sand, trees,
and rainfall and stop from time to time, until we
reached the crossing point from Greece to
Macedonia, and we found a Macedonian
military at the border waiting for people, and
welcoming them in a beautiful way, but we
were a little afraid, but the friendly behavior of
the military encouraged us to cross and actually
crossed us. And we entered Macedonia.

Macedonia:
After we crossed to Macedonia, and we were
directed by the military who received people at
the border, we were walking, and we saw
soldiers directing us and pointing at us and
trying to direct us in a beautiful way. Indeed, ten
minutes after we entered the border and were
directed by the soldiers, we arrived at a closed
square in Mount Macedonia, and we saw a lot of
people who live in Idomeni with us are sitting as
if they were detained, but they were laughing
when the new people entered the square, and we
were asked to sit like the others, and we started
to ask people what was happening, and suddenly
they answered while laughing, we did not know,
maybe we are detained, or maybe they will
deport us to Serbia to continue our way, and
indeed we have sat for a long time, our legs, our
clothes and our shoes filled with water, and the
cold was freezing and we were not allowed to
ignite fire, because we are in the mountain, and
we stayed like this until the sun was gone ,in the
bitter cold after the sun was gone, we were
allowed to light the fire, because people will die
from the cold if they stay in the cold, and also
we have heard from people that a group of
journalists have been arrested, we do not know
why. and a very funny situation happened with
my friend Maher, which is because he is blond
and has blue eyes, and one of the soldiers tried
to arrest him because he suspected that he was a
journalist from europe, because of his
appearance, but I remember that Maher stood
swearing that he was a refugee and began to
show him documents until he believed him and
left it. It was one of the funniest situations and
the thing that we did not expect, they try to
search for forbidden materials or something
Ilegal, in my opinion, it's their right because we
crossed into their country and they have the
right to search and be careful, and in the evening
after we lit the fire, we started to dry our clothes
and shoes and warm ourselves. they asked us to
stand in groups and we started walking one after
the other and unfortunately, we crossed the
rivers again and our clothes and shoes got wet
and we were very scared and even I wanted to
urinate, I could not ask about that because the
situation was very difficult, and of course the
word that the people memorized because of its
repetition by the Macedonians is (dolleh.
Dolleh) which means sit ... sit and continue like
this until it is time to leave.
Return from Macedonia to
Greece:
After the time passed, and we crossed from the
square in which we were being held to the other
square, and in the middle of the night we were
instructed to queue so that we would be
transported in groups by a closed military
vehicle, and indeed the Macedonians were
transporting people in groups, but the people
were not aware of where they would be
transported, Some of them believed that they
would be transferred to the Macedonian-Serbian
border, to continue their way to Europe, and
some believed that they would be detained due
to their illegal entry into Macedonia, and some
believed that they would be returned to Greece,
and this is what really happened for me, my
brother and my friend. We were expecting that
the Macedonian army would send us back
because the way they dealt with the refugees
suggests that they will return us to Greece, and
after waiting for more than two hours, our turn
came to get on the military truck, and we were a
little afraid because after we got inside the
truck, the truck was closed. From the back, so
that we could not see the road and where we
were going, and the most difficult thing was that
we were so many inside the truck, that there was
no place to sit, and it was very dark inside the
truck, and the A truck to drive for more than
half an hour, and the road was very bumpy until
we got to a place, and the backside was opened,
and as we were in a place on the mountain, there
was nothing around us except for the truck's
lights and moonlight, and we were asked to
walk behind the Macedonian military. Walking
until we reached a fence, and the fence was
open, and there was a soldier standing next to
the fence, asking people to pass one by one
another, and he used to tell people in English
that the Macedonians did not close the borders
to the faces of refugees, but Germany no longer
wanted refugees, and he used to say that we
cannot receive refugees because of the European
Union’s decision and that we are now returned
to Greece in this way because we entered
Greece illegally, and this thing is contrary to the
policy of the Macedonian state, and we really
waited our turn until we entered Greece and
became free.
I do not know how to express my joy, when I
returned to Greece, as if I had returned to my
country, and here we gathered each other with
the group of people that returned with us, and
we began walking through the map, and we
were very far from the Idomeni camp, and it
took us hours to reach, and on our way we faced
A lot of difficulties, because we were not only
young people, and we had women, children and
a person with special needs with us, and we
were walking in the prairies and crossing the
different roads, we lost our way more than once
because of the dark darkness until we found the
highway, and here we got comfortable
psychologically, and we started to feel A little
safe, and we continued our walk until we
arrived at the Idomeni camp shortly before
sunrise, set up our tent and went to sleep, and
the next morning, my brother and my friend and
I sat chatting, what will we do after what we
heard from the Macedonian military and the
fatigue we faced on the road to Macedonia and
disappointment, so we decided We start with a
plan to return to Turkey, and the reason is that
we know that Greece is facing economic
problems, and it is very difficult to find life
easily, because finding work in a country facing
economic problems is not easy, and we were
also thinking about the resettlement program,
and at that time we were distracted, so we
suggested that we stay for a few days to make
the right decision, and we really agreed on that.
Moving from Idomeni camp
to Uncle Thasos house:
In the days when we were trying to make a new
decision, we were walking out with my brother
and I, going to the remittance company to
receive a sum of money that had been sent by a
friend of ours, because we had no money left,
and as Uncle Paris Papageorgiou was walking
beside us, so I ran to him to greet and ask him
about some things Indeed, after I greeted him, I
told him about what happened with us in
Macedonia, and I remembered the features of
his face that explain the sadness of what
happened to us, and after that I asked him if
there was a hotel that we could go to take a
shower, because bathing in Idomeni camp is
almost impossible, because of the cold water So
he told us that he would ask and tell us by
phone, and actually after about an hour and after
we returned to our tent, Uncle Paris came to us,
and he told us that he has his friend named
Evelina, who has a house for the summer, so we
can go with him and take a bath in her house
and then take us back to the camp, so we agreed
with Knowing that we were afraid because we
are not from Greece, and we know Uncle Paris
superficially, and in general we cannot easily
trust anyone, but Uncle Paris was a very
friendly person, and we decided to go with him,
so we asked our friend Maher if he wanted to go
with us, so he told us that he took a shower
some days before, and he would stay in the tent
until we came back, and we really went with
Uncle Paris, and we were feeling a little
anxious, but we needed to take a shower, and
we arrived, and Mrs. Evelina was very nice and
friendly also, and she hosted us and welcomed
us, and after we bathed and my brother ,we
started to take parties Hadith, Uncle Paris told
us that he had good news, so we asked him what
was the news, he told us that we could sleep
with a friend for several days to relax our
psychological and live calm for some time and
then go back to Idomeni camp, And after my
brother and I had a discussion, we decided to
sleep with this person, and after a short time of
our conversation, Mr. Vasilis came to take us to
his house, so we went there and his house was
beautiful and tidy, and he told us to feel free and
act as we like, but from the severity of fatigue
we went to sleep, And we slept deeply, because
we did not sleep for more than a month in calm
and tranquility, and we spent almost three to
four days, almost I do not remember exactly,
and we were in contact with Maher on a daily
basis, and in fact we were a little sad because
Maher did not come with us, and after the
period that we agreed On her with Uncle Paris,
Uncle Paris came to Vasilis' house to take us,
and there was a celebration as far as I
remember, because the fasting period had
ended, so Uncle Paris said for the second time
that he had good news for us, so we asked him
about the news, and he told us that in his city
Katerini there is a big man At the age of his
name, Uncle Thasos’s, he and his wife live
while he speaks Turkish, and Uncle Thasos’s
told Uncle Paris that he would like to help
refugees, but he wants people who speak
Turkish if possible, and Uncle Paris told us you
are the people who will go to live with him for a
period of time so that we can Relying on
ourselves, kind Certainly, because we speak the
Turkish language and of course, this thing was
optional for us by Uncle Paris, so my brother
and I sat down to debate and in the end we
decided to go to Uncle Thasos’s house, because
we will not find a solution if we stay in Idomeni
camp waiting in vain, and the borders are
closed, and we can also trust the uncle Paris
because he helped us a lot, and Uncle Paris told
us of our decision, and at the end of the day we
went to the Greek city of Katerini, and we
reached the house of Uncle Tasso’s, he
welcomed us in a beautiful way, and he showed
us our room on the top floor, and he told us that
we will stay with him until we find another
place to go, We were very happy, but the house
was in a village called Cocos, not too far from
the city center of Katerini, and after Uncle Paris
drove us, he went to his house, and our new life
began in Uncle Thasos’s house in the village of
Cocos, the city of Katerini, Greece.

Bring Maher, from Idomeni

camp to live with Uncle
Thasos’s:
After we moved to Uncle Thasos’s house, we
felt relaxed and reassured, and we started
thinking about what we should do, and what
would be the results if we went back to Turkey,
or if we stayed in Greece, and we also felt sad,
because we left our friend Maher in Idomeni
camp, we used to communicate with him every
day, And he was feeling a little sick, and we
were worried that he was alone in Idomeni, and
there was no one standing next to him, so I
contacted Uncle Paris and told him that I intend
to go to Idomeni camp to visit my friend, and I
also told him that my friend is sick and I should
visit him as soon as possible, so the uncle Paris
told me that he will go to Idomeni soon, and he
will pass by to take me with him, and after two
days, Uncle Paris came to take me with him to
check on my friend, and we actually drove from
Uncle Thasos’s' house to Idomeni, and in the car
I was explaining to Uncle Paris about our strong
relationship with our friend, and that our friend
had no one Other than us, and he is sick, and it
is better to be with each other, so Uncle Paris
accepted the idea, and he told me he will ask
Uncle Thasos’s if he has no problem so that our
friend comes to live with us in Uncle Thasos’s'
house, and after we reached Idomeni we went to
my friend and told him that he will go with us,
We were happy, so my friend stood up
Preparing his luggage and after it was finished
we set off back to Uncle Thasos’s' house, and
here is the end of the Idomeni camp for us.

Life in Uncle Thasos’s:

After my friend and uncle Paris returned to the
house of Uncle Thasos’s, Uncle Thasos’s
welcomed our friend and he received him in the
same lovely way that he welcomed us, and here
was the end of my Idomeni for us, and we
started thinking about the next plan, and during
the life of Uncle Thasos’s, we learned many
things, The most important of these things and
the most difficult of them is that we must wake
up in the morning to eat breakfast, and this thing
was not an option for us, but rather a duty,
because he used to tell us breakfast in the
morning is the most important meal, and that we
can have breakfast and then we can sleep after
that, and also life in the uncle's house Thasos’s
was very organized, everything was in his time
like coffee in the afternoon hour, lunch at two
o'clock, and in the morning he was doing
housework, and he had a dog and he used to
take her outside the house after almost
afternoon, his life was very organized and he
was a wise person full of sermons I was always
sitting to listen to his words, he valued life, and
he was a religious person with a good heart, and
his eyes tell many stories. He was seventy-five
years old, and when I spoke to him or saw him
do housework, I saw him as strong with the
power of youth, he was a human being Great,
and as for the villagers, they used to send food
to Uncle Thasos’s house after they knew of our
existence, and they loved to offer us something.
Every day something from the village’s
residents would come to us, and of course, I
cannot forget Brother Elias who used to live in
the house opposite from Uncle Thasos’s house,
and he used to come every day Almost to check
about us, life was very quiet in Uncle Thasos’s
house until we came the day, which is to leave
Uncle Thasos’s house ...
A lady came and she was working with Uncle
Paris, and she told us that a small camp had
opened in the city of Katerini, near the village of
Nia kharrani, and she told us that we must move
to the camp because we will not be able to stay
in Uncle Thasos’s house any longer, and we
have already prepared our bags and went With
the lady to Nia kharrani camp, and from here
begins our struggles in Greece, the struggles of
life, the search for stability, the achievement of
achievements, the integration into the Greek
society, and the identification of Western
culture, and all these things will be narrated in
the second part of the book ......

Facts and lessons:

On the journey of death that I lived, the sea that
killed millions of immigrants I crossed, the
rugged roads I passed, the disappointments I
faced, the dangers I defied, the hunger that
exhausted me, the disease and the cold that I
battled, the long walks that destroyed my feet,
the tears I had and the pain I endured, And the
patience that I have patience made me a strong
person, and the doors that closed in my face
opened other doors for me, which you will read
in the second part of the book, what I can say
now is that millions of refugees have gone
through difficulties, pain and sadness, perhaps
like me and maybe more than me, and the
people must all They know that the Syrian
refugees left their country not out of love for
Europe, but rather looking for ways to live, and
the whole world must know that most of the
Syrian refugees left their country because they
do not want their hands dirty with blood, and the
whole world must know that the Syrians who
remain in Syria lose all A dear day, because of
the war, and the whole world must know that
most of us are Muslims, but we are not terrorists
as some believe, but we are peaceable and
benevolent, we hate killing, and the whole
world must not believe the bad media who
communicate wrong information on Syrians and
Muslims are terrorists, and the whole world
must know that we live in their country not
because we want to live in their countries, or try
to steal their business, or sabotage their country,
no, we are in their country as visitors, and we
will return to our country, Syria after the end of
the war, and the whole world must It is
understood that there are different types of
people, not only refugees, all countries have
good people and bad people, and do not judge
everyone in the same way if you encounter
some bad people.
Some employees of governmental and non-
governmental humanitarian organizations and
international organizations must understand that
if a refugee asks the organizations for anything,
they must be aware that there are many people
who had money and had laboratories,
warehouses, homes and cars, and they lost their
property in War, and they became refugees,
when a person comes asking for help, this
means that he really needs help, not everyone,
but most refugees, so keep in mind, employee,
that you do not judge everyone in the event that
you encounter a bad person and ask for
something that is not needed, think more than
once before you Answer or judge it, and people
who practice racism against refugees must
understand that no one will steal your work if
you are good at your job, and also that no one
will change your religion if you are convinced
of your religion, and no one will sabotage your
country if you are building your country.
Because you are the role model wherever you
are, and even if there are bad people who will
start to improve themselves when they see other
people doing good things, I learned a lot of
things on my journey and met good people and
bad people, and I made many plans for myself. I
developed myself and reached stages that I had
never imagined, and among my experiences in
life and from my journey that I passed and from
the large number of people who complained to
me about their suffering, I wanted to write this
book to explain the steps and difficulties that
Syrian refugees face in their journey in search of
a place to live far from War, so I decided to
write this book to convey the message of the
Syrian refugees to the whole world through the
journey of death.

to be Continued