HANDSHAKES

(A SCREENLAY)

by K.W. Hale

Kermit W. Hale
P.O.Box 253
Boise, Idaho 83701
(208)353-2394
kerm@email.com
EXT: SIDEWALK - DAYTIME

Two men walk towards each other. The FIRST MAN is dressed in jeans
and polo shirt, sneakers and a baseball cap with NYC on it. The
SECOND MAN is wearing slacks and a t-shirt that says "Muslims for
World Peace", and black dress shoes. They stop when they meet.

FIRST MAN
Hello. Are you Habib?

HABIB
Yes, and you are Jon-ah-thon?

JONATHAN
Yes, but it is pronounced Jon-i-th'n.
I am pleased to meet you.

Jonathan extends his hand to shake Habib's hand. Habib holds his hand
out but when they shake, he does not hold Jonathan's hand, but lets
his own hand remain limp.

HABIB
I am pleased to meet you as well.

They release the hand shake. Jonathan looks confused.

JONATHAN
What was that?

HABIB
What do you mean?

JONATHAN
That wasn't a handshake, it was a
limp rag. Let's do it again, but
this time shake my hand like you
mean it.

Jonathan holds his hand out as before, but Habib does not.

HABIB
What do you mean?

JONATHAN
Take hold of my hand and give it a
gentle squeeze.

Habib shakes Jonathan's hand, only he squeezes it a bit too much.

 JONATHAN
No, not so hard, less force. Try
again.

HABIB
I didn't want to offend you.

JONATHAN
It is more of an offense to some to
have a limp hand, for it tells them
you do not mean it, or are hiding
something, when you say you are
pleased to meet them, and yet you do
not take hold of their hand.

They shake hands again.

JONATHAN
That's better.

HABIB
I don't see the important difference.

JONATHAN
Here, let me show you. I am going
to shake your hand twice, the first
time like you did and the second time
like I did, only you are to shake my
hand like you did this last time,
okay?. I will say at both times that
I am glad to meet you. You tell me
the difference then.
(Shaking Habib's hand once)
I am glad to meet you.
(They shake again)
I am glad to meet you.

They release hands.

JONATHAN
Now, which one seemed to affirm better
what I was saying?

HABIB
Oh, now I see, the second one seemed
like you meant it more.

JONATHAN
Exactly. Women hold their hand limply
 for a man to kiss it. Men shake hands
like this to show sincerity.

HABIB
Thank you, I have learned an important
part of your customs today.

They leave together, chatting.

Fade Out:

FADE IN: EXT. SIDEWALK OUTSIDE A MALL - DAY TIME

Two men approach each other. The First MAN is dressed casually in
slacks, t-shirt and tennis shoes, and is wearing a baseball cap. The
SECOND MAN is dressed in jeans and cowboy boots. He has a long
sleeved shirt and wears a black cowboy hat.

FIRST MAN
(speaking with a
foreign accent)
Excuse me, Sir, can you tell me
where the nearest electronics
store is?

SECOND MAN
Well, now, let me see. If I ain't
too mistaken, there's one inside
this here mall, up on the second
floor somewhere.

FIRST MAN
(holding out his
hand)
Thank you, sir.

SECOND MAN
(extending his hand)
Not a problem, pardner.

The first man pumps the handshake up and down exaggeratedly.

SECOND MAN
Whoa there, pardner, what the heck
you doin'?

They release hands.

FIRST MAN
 Shaking hands. Isn't that the way
you Americans do it? I saw it on a
TV show starring the Three Stooges
once.

SECOND MAN
(leaning over close
to the first man)
Well, if I were you, I'd reserve that
there handshake for a really close
buddy, not a total stranger. Here,
do it again without the roller-coaster
ride.

They shake hands regularly.

FIRST MAN
Your speech is very, uh, unique I think
is the word. Not all Americans talk
like that, do they?

SECOND MAN
Nah, just us cow pokes. I'm from the
South West. We all talk like this down there. These city
folk don't know how
ta have fun, it seems. Come on, I'll
show ya the place you're lookin' fer.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN: INT. BARROOM

Two men sit at a table with drinks, chatting. The first wears
overalls and the second a suit. A third man approaches their table.
He is wearing casual clothes.

MAN IN OVERALLS
(motioning to a chair)
Hi, Ben, join us for a drink, won't
you? Mike,
(looking at man in suit)
This is Ben, a guy I used to do
mechanic work with. We ran a brake
business together years ago.

Mike stands, and he and Ben shake hands.

MIKE
Hi, Ben. How's it goin'?
 BEN
Fine, Mike. Nice to meet ya.

Ben and Mike sit down.

BEN
So Mike, how long have you known
Bob?

MIKE
Not too long. Our old ladies know
each other from high school.

BEN
grinning widely)
Then he probably hasn't shown you
the brakeman's handshake, has he?

BOB
No, I haven't yet. I'd almost
forgotten all about it.

MIKE
What's the brakeman's handshake?

BEN
Let's show 'im, Bob.

Bob and Ben stand up, face each other and grip hands, preparing to
shake. Then as they shake hands up and down, each of them raises
their right foot and pretend to pump the brakes on a car.

MIKE
I don't get it...oh wait, you're
pumping brakes, right? But why?

BOB
You pump brakes when you're trying
to bleed them of air while the other
person is under the car using the
wrench.

CUT TO:

INT. WRESTLING RING

Two wrestlers face off in the ring. The first one wears red tights
and the second one wears black briefs. They are about to grab each
other when the man in red offers his hand. The man in black looks at
the audience and then back at the man. He slowly starts to accept the
hand shake and then withdraws it and steps back one step and
straightens up. The man in red still is offering his hand. The man in
black returns to his position and slowly takes the other's hand in
his. Instantly the man in red pulls the man in black to him and rams
his forearm into the other's face, spins him around and bear hugs
him, lifting him off the floor and slamming him onto the mat on his
back amid boos from the crowd. The fight is on as the scene fades to
black.

CUT TO:

INT. SOMEONE'S LIVING ROOM

HOST gets up and answers the doorbell. He is dressed casually in

slacks and short-sleeved Hawaiian shirt. He is holding a beer in his
left hand. Party-goers are laughing, talking and milling around the
room. Some are sitting, some are standing, some are serving drinks.
Host opens the door and a MAN is standing there, neat suit and tie.

MAN IN SUIT
John, I hope I'm not too late, lots
of paperwork at the office.

He extends his hand. John takes it and shakes his hand.

JOHN
Not at all, Mark, come on in.

John steps aside and Mark enters, John closing the door after him.
John introduces his wife to Mark.

JOHN
Lydia, this is John, the Safety
coordinator at work. Mark, this
is my wife, Lydia.

Lydia is wearing a flowered evening gown. She holds her hand out,
palm down.

LYDIA
Very nice to meet you, Mark.

Mark takes her hand in his, and bends and lightly kisses her hand.

MARK
The pleasure is all mine.

LYDIA
 John has told me a lot about you.

MARK
(glancing a smile at
John briefly)
Not all bad, I hope.

LYDIA
Oh my, no, nothing but niceties.
Care for a drink?

MARK
A cold beer would be mah-velous,
Dah-ling.

As Lydia walks away, both men watch her.

JOHN
(To Mark)
Over here is Larry, the person I
told you about from the publishing
firm. He's interested in my book.

They head to Larry's position.

LARRY
John, lovely party, I must say.

JOHN
Thank you, Larry. I'd like you to
meet a friend of mine from work,
Mark Cushman. Mark, this is Larry
Meyers.

Larry and Mark shake, but Larry holds on to Mark's hand and won't let
go. He looks at John.

Larry
(Looking at John)
My father always told me you can
tell a lot about a person from the
way they shake hands. Now Mark,
here, holds my hand very gently
and hardly grips it at all. That
tells me he's either not sure of
himself, is hiding something, or
is uncomfortable around strangers.
I don't think he has anything to
hide at this point, so I'd say one
of the other two.
Larry releases Mark's hand and looks at Mark.

LARRY
Well, am I correct?

Mark looks at Larry, then John, then back to Larry. As he is about to

speak, Lydia comes up with a beer and hands it to Mark.

Mark
(To Lydia)
Thank you.
(To Larry)
I've always felt uneasy at large
gatherings, so yea, I'd say you
are correct.

LARRY
(Laughing)
Now that's what I like, an honest
man. Mark, you may be insecure,
but you're honest. You'll go far
with just that quality. Only I'd
practice that handshake of yours,
put a little grip in it. That way
you won't be taken advantage of so
much. People respect a firm
handshake, even in today's
technically separated environment.
Or, perhaps I should say, especially
now. You see, people have less social
meetings than before and...

Others around them are talking and laughing and the level of
boisterous good humor fills the room. John looks around and a rotund
and jolly man is standing up and tapping his glass with a spoon for
everyone's attention.

John
(Whispering to John
and Mark)
That is Sam, a long-time friend of
mine.

SAM
Pardon me, everyone, but have you
heard the latest airport security
news?
The room goes quiet, and Larry and Mark look at each other, then at
the speaker.

SAM
Yes, well you see, it appears that
women who want to fly on airplanes
now won't be allowed to wear bras
anymore.

He pauses for effect. Murmuring and words of unbelief are heard and
then all is quiet again.

SAM
Security personnel, it seems, are
afraid of...booby traps.

He sits his glass down, and after the expected round of groans and
chuckles, Sam comes over to John, who introduces him to the other
two.

JOHN
Sam, these two are Larry and Mark.
This is Sam, a man I've known for
over twenty-five years who hasn't
been able to tell a good joke from
a bad one in all that time.

Larry grabs Sam's hand in both of his and vigorously shakes Sam's
hand.

LARRY
Right funny joke you just told,
despite John's disapproval.

JOHN
Don't encourage him.

SAM
Thanks, Larry. It's nice to meet
you, too. Strong hands there, did
you ever milk cows for a living?

LARRY
(laughing loudly)
Milk cows, he asks. Ha Ha Ha!
You're a riot, Sambo. A real riot.

Mark extends his hand to Sam.

 MARK
Haven't we met somewhere before?

Sam looks at Mark and his eyes widen up.

SAM
Mark Cushman? I can't believe it.
What's it been, thirty-plus years?

They shake hands, Mark gripping Sam's tightly, Sam returning the
strong grip. Each increases their grip gradually. Knuckles are
turning white, slowly.

MARK
(through gritted teeth)
Something like that, I guess. A long
time.
(Looking at John
and Larry, still
gritting his teeth)
We used to work at a grocery store
right after high-school. Haven't seen
each other since.

The handshake contest continues a moment, John and Larry looking on.
MARK
I give.

They release hands, Mark rubbing his together.

SAM
It started at work. Our supervisor
was always trying to be overbearing
and thought he had the strongest
handshake. So Mark and I practiced
our grip, even using rubber balls
for exercises. We never could beat
that guy, but we kept up the contest
until we stopped working there.

LARRY
Sounds like a good idea. But,I
wonder, Mark, why your first
shake with me was not strong?

MARK
I didn't want to hurt you.

LARRY
 I think I'll give it a whirl at my
work.

SAM
I gotta run, John, sorry, but have
to get up early tomorrow. Nice
meeting you, Larry.

Sam and Larry grab hands and a new contest starts, neither giving up.
The party noises fade, the scene fades, and yet they are still at
it...

END