Communication Skills

Workbook
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Contents:

Introduction 4
What are Communication Skills? 5
Defining Communication 6
Body Language 6-9
Effective Listening 9 – 10
Robber Exercise 11
Two Way Communication 12
A Way with Words 13
Communication Styles 14 - 25
Working in Teams 26
Using Technology to Communicate 26 - 30
Dealing with Difficult Communication 31 - 36
Can You Manage Conflict? 37
Role Plays 38
Language Lessons for Leaders 39

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Introduction

We communicate with each other all the time, yet we rarely think about it. We
often communicate without being fully aware of the messages we are really
sending to people. Success depends on being understood, understanding
others and communicating well together. Building healthy working relationships
is vital to our business success. A major part of this is understanding our own
personal communicating style, how we can (and do!) influence other people,
and how to use your style to create effective business relationship.

Few would doubt that lack of communication is a major contributor to the

breakdown of relationships. “We don’t talk any more!” is the familiar statement,
which usually means; we only talk on a superficial level without really listening
or questioning.

Most people would readily relate these comments to their personal lives but it
is also the case that a lack of effective communication weakens and damages
our working relationships.

How often do you hear, “You didn’t tell me that”, “You didn’t explain it”, or “I
thought you meant ……” when a task has not been performed satisfactorily.

Do your staff and colleagues come up with great ideas of how a job should
have been done, after it has gone horribly wrong? Did anyone think to ask for
their views in the first place?
What instance can you recall where a perfectly capable member of staff has
left a company because they have not felt valued or that their ideas and
suggestions have been ignored or unappreciated?

It all comes down to communication. And in today’s fast moving corporate

environment, with the convenience of e-mail and mobile telephones which
result in less face-to-face communication, it is little wonder that employees,
particularly secretaries and admin support staff, frequently feel out of touch with
the plans being developed through the management channels? A further
contributory factor is the extension of the working day with business being
conducted in the car, on the train, or from home. Colleagues can easily slip into
the category of “out of sight, out of mind”.

To maintain good working relationships, then, we need to have regular and

focused communication with our colleagues and staff, and pay close attention
to our communication skills, so that it becomes simply “the way we do things
around here”, and can then lead to an ingrained atmosphere of openness and
clarity in all your communication, thus improving working relationships to the
benefit of individuals and the organisation.

What are communication skills?

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They’re important skills that help you deal well with other people – at work and
in your personal life.

Having communication skills means knowing how to use

different forms of communication to get your message
across.

Communication takes many forms:

➢ It can be made up of:
➢ words (spoken or written)
➢ pictures (including symbols)
➢ gestures (including sign language)
➢ facial expressions and body language

Communication means giving and receiving messages

Types of messages include:
➢ statements
➢ questions
➢ commands
➢ warnings

Communication skills also involve the ability to listen!

Why should I Learn about Communication Skills?

Because they’re directly related to your ability to maintain good relationships

with other people and to develop yourself.

Maintaining relationships
Being successful and happy at work, in your friendships and in your family
relationships all depend on effective communication.

Self-development
Communication skills help you to:
➢ Make discoveries
➢ Learn about yourself
➢ Learn about others
➢ Solve problems
➢ Develop new skills

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Defining Communication

Communication skills can be defined. Take a look at the two statements below,
decide which one best suit’s your opinion or view, and then write in the boxes
why this is so:

“The art of inspiring whilst informing”

or
“The process of sharing information”

Understanding behaviours is the means by which people achieve objectives.

The Communicating Hippo!

People can not read our minds or intentions; they can only see our behaviours
– the things we say and the things we do. They form impressions and
judgements about us and our attitudes based on what they observe –
consciously or unconsciously.

Think about it; we are always communicating something – what we wear, how
we stand or speak, the way we look or don’t look at people – these all carry
messages that people respond to.

Behaviours

Thoughts
Motives
Attitudes
Feelings
Emotions

Research conducted by Harvard University concluded that 90% of the

messages in face to face communication are carried out in other ways than
verbally – our tone of voice, facial expression, body posture are examples of
non-verbal communication.

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Look at the chart and add what you believe each category represents:

➢ Words = %
➢ Tone (Voice) = %
➢ Gestures (Visual) = %
7%

38%
7%
55%
38%
55%

Everyday Body Language

We start forming impressions of people we meet from the moment we set

eyes on them. A large part of the initial impression that you create comes from
your body language. Your posture, facial expression, eye contact, and
gestures speak louder than the words you say. We all interpret body language
all the time on a subconscious level.

Be aware of body language

For example, clenched fits may show anger. Fidgeting or fiddling with things
makes you look bored. Make sure your body language isn’t giving the wrong
message.

Face
The face is the most expressive part of the body. If you are feeling anxious
then your facial expression may lead you to appear aloof, disapproving, or
disinterested. You can break this misrepresentation by making a conscious
effort to smile. Your smile is one of the strongest tools you have in meeting
new people. It will help you appear warm, open, friendly, and confident.

Use eye contact properly

Eye contact can help understanding. If it is used
sensitively, and it shows you are interested in what
the speaker is saying. But staring intently can be
very intimidating.
Our eyes give clues to our emotions. A direct stare
implies intensity. It may also mean romantic interest,
aggression, or fear. Making very little eye contact can
either convey shyness or submissiveness. The middle
ground of a gaze says that you are interested, secure,
and at ease.

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Hands
Your hands are also very expressive. Open gestures tend to make you appear
open and honest. By pointing your finger, or moving your hands closer
together, you can draw emphasis to what you are saying. Used in moderation,
hand gestures can make you seem enthusiastic and committed to your topic.
Making too many gestures can make you appear nervous and uncontrolled.
Wringing your hands or touching your sleeves, face, etc. can make you
appear tense, nervous, and sometimes dishonest.

Watch your posture

This is part of your body language. Sit or stand up straight, facing the person
you are talking to. Poor posture may show low self-esteem, which can make
communication more difficult.

The way you hold yourself, your posture, makes a big contribution to your
body language and conveys your level of self-confidence. By orienting your
body towards someone, you show attentiveness. By falling away from them or
leaning back, you show a lack of interest and some level of reserve. When we
are feeling low in confidence and want to hide away, we hunch our shoulders
and keep our heads down. When we are feeling aggressive or are trying to
defend our space, we puff ourselves up. A relaxed body posture will help you
to appear and feel more relaxed and confident.

Your posture gives signals about your interest in something, your openness,
and attentiveness. It also gives clues as to your status within a group.

Be clear and precise

Think about what you really want to say. Cover one idea at a time and focus
on being specific rather than being general

Use facial expressions

Smiling, frowning and so on all play a part in communication. Be careful not
to make exaggerated facial expressions like rolling your eyes if they are not
appropriate.

Control your voice

Talking too loudly can threaten listeners. Talking too softly can annoy listeners
if they can’t hear you and can lead to misunderstanding

Think about timing and speed

For example, communication is affected when people:
➢ speak quickly or slowly
➢ interrupt or wait too long to bring up an issue

Use the right tone

Feelings such as pride, anger impatience, happiness and sorrow can all be
expressed through tone of voice

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Choose the right words
Different words might be appropriate for different situations, for example:
➢ formal or informal
➢ public or private
➢ serious or relaxed
➢ doubtful or hopeful

Use ‘ I ’ statements
Talk in terms of yourself, not the other person. For example, rather than
saying “You’re such a nuisance for always being late”, say “I’m really angry
that I had to wait again.”

Avoid bad habits.

Some habits get in the way of communication, for example:
➢ using humour inappropriately
➢ thinking of a response while the other person is talking
➢ talking too much and not letting the other person speak
➢ giving orders or too much advice

In summary, our face, eyes, hands (gestures), and posture express what is
going on inside of us. They give clues to others and to us as to whether the
words we say are consistent with what we are really feeling. Being aware of
our body language can allow us to send a consistent message. Smiling,
making eye contact, using open gestures, and using good posture can bring
up our level of self confidence.

Remember, delivery matters. Often it’s not what you Say but how you
say it that’s important.

Effective Listening Skills

Are essential to good communication. These tips can help you become a
better listener.

Pay close attention

Focus on the speaker. Try to ignore distractions such as other conversations
and people moving about. Take note of the speaker’s body language.

Never interrupt
Interrupting or cutting the speaker off shows you care more about what you’re
saying than what you’re hearing.

‘Reflect’ feelings
Show the speaker you care about how they feel. For example, “it sounds like
you’re feeling sad” or “You must feel pretty irritated”.

Use positive Body language

Face the speaker to show you are interested. Nod and smile now and then to
show you are listening.

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Ask questions
Questions show you’re following what the speaker is saying. For example,
“What happened after the incident was reported to Mr Smith?”

Show you understand

One way to do this is to repeat the speaker’s main points using your own words.

Listening Levels

Level 1

Level 2

Level 3

Level 4

Level 5

Communicating Effectively

You’re Message: Words, meaning, content

You’re Voice: The medium by which you transmit your message
You’re Body: Gestures and similarity
You’re Presence: Sincerity, enthusiasm, energy

Key Learning Points

➢ Accept that a persons perception is their reality

➢ The ability to develop rapport
➢ Have the ability to be flexible in styles of communicating
➢ Listen actively
➢ Recognise the non-verbal signs given by others
➢ Show real empathy

Improving Your Listening

➢ Pause before responding – replay what has been said

➢ Concentrate on what has been said, not on what your going to say next

➢ Test understanding

➢ Encourage the flow of information

➢ Avoid interrupting

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Robber Exercise

Listen to the statement being read out. You will

only hear it once. Then answer the questions
below and decide if they are True (T), False (F)
or that you need more information (?).

Statements about the story

1. A man appeared after the owner had turned off his store light T F ?

2. The robber was a man T F ?

3. The man who appeared did not demand money T F ?

4. The man who opened the cash register was the owner T F ?

5. The store owner scooped up the contents of the cash register

and ran away T F ?

6. Someone opened the cash register T F ?

7. After the man who demanded the money scooped up the

contents of the cash register, he ran away T F ?

8. The cash register contained money T F ?

9. The robber demanded money from the owner T F ?

10. The robber opened the cash register T F ?

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Two Way Communications

Clarity of purpose means communicating – both ways.

A one way dialogue is extremely frustrating, little is achieved and individuals

feel an opportunity has been lost.

Here are some rules to help achieve two way conversations;

1. Ask Questions
Questions are the most valuable tool for communication. Used properly,
questions help relax others and demonstrate that you are showing an
interest in matters.
2. Listen
Many people are so anxious to get their point across that they do not
listen to the other person and miss opportunities to satisfy their needs.
3. Treat People as People
The other person is a human being – as you are – subject to the same
anxieties, hopes, wants and aspirations. By establishing proper two way
communication and developing a rapport with them, your business
relationships will be easier and more satisfying.
4. Keep Tuned In
During any discussion there are moments when the attention wanders
and an important piece of information can be lost, just due to the fact that
you were wondering what was for dinner that evening.
5. Speak the Same Language
You will have your own language or jargon. Try to remember that others
do not necessarily share your expert knowledge. Do not assume that the
person you are speaking to understand the complexities of your role or
business.

Using humour
Humour can help put people at ease. However, take care not to offend, insult
or use humour too much.

Cultural differences
Be aware that words, gestures and symbols can have different meanings in
different cultures.

So basically the rule is use PLAIN ENGLISH, when you are

communicating with others.

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A Way with Words!

The saying is true. It’s not what you say, but the way that
you say it. How many times have you started a
conversation full of good intentions, only to end up foot in
mouth? Or found yourself unable to convince or establish
a rapport with co-workers because you’re stuck for words?
Watch out for these lessons in language:

Meta-Messages

Or messages within messages; examples are:

Selection of pronouns e.g. ‘my boss’ establishes rapport,

‘the boss’ spells distance; ‘I’d like to speak to you’ prepare
for a dressing down; ‘I’d like to speak with you’ suggests
you’re about to be consulted.
Use of emphasis: altering the meaning by emphasising
different words; e.g. ‘he works well in the team’ implies ‘as opposed to on his
own’; ‘he works well in the team’ implies ‘as opposed to someone else’; can
also be left ambiguous e.g. ‘are you working late again’ - could show annoyance
or concern
Inclusion of misleaders: throwing apparently innocuous little words into a
statement which give the game away; e.g. ‘incidentally’ - anything that follows
is anything but incidental (‘great job, Bob, incidentally, did you know we’ll have
to work late tomorrow?’)

Conversation Techniques

Conversation situations and ways of controlling them:

To persuade - ‘framing’: or a new-fangled term for an age-old activity i.e.

giving your view or vision; it is basically a way to manage (or manipulate)
through language the way others see a situation; just as a photographer
decides the angle of a shot, the framer decides the picture he/she wants to
paint; language, metaphors, contrasts and anecdotes are used to reinforce that
picture
To establish rapport - playback: using similar language to the person with
whom you’re in conversation; people like people who are like themselves;
another ‘rapport-setting’ technique is to use the name of the person - people
will listen more intently to the statement that follows their
name
To control emotions - paralanguage: the use of non-
speech components of conversation e.g. pitch,
articulation, tempo and rhythm; e.g. fast, high-pitched
can show anger or excitement

Being stuck for words doesn’t seem so bad after all…..!

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INTERPRETATION OF AXES

Axis A
This axis represents the extent to which a person is people-centred.
Colleagues are likely to be important and valued as human beings of worth.
Many may be friends. They will not be seen as simply the means to achieving
work objectives. Empathy with others will be high and a degree of genuine care
about others will be present. Concern when they are going through bad times
and shared pleasure with the good times is the norm. A co-operative approach
to problem solving is more likely than a competitive one, although
competitiveness in harmless pursuits is probably OK! This person will function
well in a team. Colleagues’ contributions will be valued. A good listener,
people find it easy to relate to this person. It is not difficult to see other people’s
points of view (without necessarily agreeing with them) and different points of
view will be respected and tolerated where they are held for good reasons.
However, things which damage other people (prejudice, jealousy, scoring
points, etc) do not appeal.

Axis B
This represents the extent to which a person is task-centred. This person is
likely to be committed to his/her work – it provides excitement and drive.
Things which get in the way of finishing a job well and on time may irritate, and
this may include family and friends. A strong sense of identity with the
employing organisation and its aims may exist. This person is likely to be
tenacious and single-minded; high scorers may be ruthless in achieving their
ends, if necessary at some cost to other people. Colleagues will respect this
person’s commitment but may see her/him as a little aloof, remote and difficult
to get to know; perhaps a rather private person. This is not to say that the
person is unsociable, but is likely to be guarded about revealing true feelings to
others.

Axis C
This represents the degree to which a person tends to suppress his/her own
needs. The higher the score, the more likely it is that they will think more
negatively than positively about themselves. This can result in a denial that
they have needs at all. Such a person may lack self-confidence and may tend
towards dependency on other people. High scorers can see themselves as
always being on the receiving end when things go wrong! ‘Disasters always
happen to me’ can sometimes be a self-fulfilling prophecy; because the person
believes it, it often turns out that way in reality. There may be feelings of being
out of control and self-doubt is common. Such people are often highly valued
and highly effective in support roles, precisely because they find it more natural
to serve the needs of others to the exclusion of their own.

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Axis D
This represents the degree to which a person is clear about his/her own needs
and how to meet them. Probably seen by others as confident and assured,
high scorers may need to be alert to the danger of being seen as arrogant. This
axis relates to high self-esteem and leadership is a ‘natural’ function for such
people, since they feel generally ‘OK’ about themselves, and this can inspire
others. Truly assertive behaviour comes readily to such people, since they
know their own worth and thus have no need to ‘put others down’. Nor do they
have any difficulty in acknowledging the rights of others, because they feel
secure in their own self-awareness. It is easy to relate well to others. Good
listening skills often come naturally to this group, since it is easy to suspend
judgement, and to empathise with the other person’s point of view, simply
because they have ‘got their own act together’ and thus do not confuse other
people’s issues with thoughts of their own.

Note: It is normal for people to have scores along all four axes, but it is also
usual for most people to score more highly on one or two axes than on others.
In these cases, the types described above are more likely to be discernible.

THE FOUR COMMUNICATION STYLES – A SUMMARY

Amiables
➢ Decrease tension on both scales
➢ Support people as opposed to controlling them
➢ Do not seek the spotlight and seldom get into “personality” clashes with
others
➢ Open to others’ opinions – willing to give time to others
➢ Their unselfish approach can result in their own work suffering
➢ Can increase tension in others by a lack of focus on production or by
appearing indecisive

Analyticals
➢ Decrease tension with their low assertiveness
➢ Increase tension with their low responsiveness
➢ Objective and task oriented
➢ Place greater demands on others
➢ Perfectionist approach can increase tension in others by appearing critical
and playing safe
➢ Increase tension by detailed approach, demanding high standards of selves
and others.

Drivers
➢ Good at producing tension in others
➢ Attempt to control others’ behaviour through assertiveness
➢ Display strong emotional control – task orientated demeanour
➢ Able to get things done as tension and productivity correlate positively
➢ Run the risk of pushing others into their back-up styles
➢ Highly productive if their style is managed – if not, behaviour become
defensive

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Expressives
➢ Raise tension due to assertiveness
➢ Can be softened by their more personal/feeling approach
➢ Assert themselves with feelings, believing people respond to emotion more
than logic
➢ Decrease tension with responsiveness
➢ Less harsh than Drivers in their demand on others
➢ People orientated

COMMUNCITION STYLES – BEHAVIOURS

The more you know about the way you and others tick, the more successful
you will be in working with them efficiently. The information that you gain from
using this form of observation can be used to help you to tailor your basic
behaviours to the individuals you will be working with to find out in advance
where there may be problems and to eliminate possible areas of conflict that
you may unwittingly cause by sticking too rigidly to your own preferred style.

Here is a summary of the four main styles – but remember these are all a part
of our make up and if we find ourselves in a situation where we are called on to
be precise and meticulous we would access that part of our personality which
would handle the situation most effectively (in this case the Analytical style),
even though we may be predominantly Expressive, Amiable or Driver.

EXPRESSIVE – Quadrant 1

These are highly assertive, highly responsive people, they are curious and
excited by new challenges, they act, decide and move fast (sometimes it
seems, without thinking), they have firm handshakes, expressive voice, they
show their feelings by the definite and enthusiastic tone of voice, facial
expressions and the body language they use.

Their priority is people – they like working in a group and are happiest when
they are the centre of attention. The Expressive part of our personality is the
one that explores, experiments, throws parties, plays games, shares
experiences and volunteers for things.

When Expressives are crossed or become angry, this is usually because they
have not been allowed to participate or try things out for themselves. When this
happens they immediately attack and try to change the situation or the person
they are angry with by overwhelming the situation with their personality.

Expressives are excited by new challenges and will probably rush ahead
without looking too carefully at the implications and outcomes. Expressives
measure their personal value by the amount of applause and recognition they
gain and need a climate to work in that helps to inspire them to succeed.

If you are strongly Expressive or work with them, you need to support dreams
and ideals, to have incentives to work towards and to work within groups.

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If Expressives have a fault it is that they are not the world’s best “finishers”.
They love new challenges, but when it gets to the boring (as they see it)
checking process, or the more mundane parts of the task they actively search
for something new to distract them and quite often leave things unchecked and
undone.

To summarise:

Animated, emphatic, expressive face, nods, smiles, frowns, quick, clear and
fast paced, willing to share personal feelings, looks for applause, approval,
enjoys relationships, best in groups, definite and assertive, fast paced, decisive.

What an Expressive will want in a relationship:

➢ Recognition for work done well
➢ Feedback from other people in the company
➢ New directions and tasks
➢ Inspiration
➢ Personal Feedback

What you will need to watch out for with an Expressive

➢ Lack of attention to detail
➢ Incomplete tasks
➢ More enthusiasm than judgment
➢ Hasty, sometimes ill considered actions
➢ Slapdash documentation
➢ Exaggeration

AMIABLES – Quadrant 2

Amiables are a mixture of assertive and responsive styles. They are low
assertive and high responsive – this means that while they are concerned with
the way people interact, think and behave, they are more comfortable when
they ‘take a back seat’ and are allowed to look on rather than drive things
forward. This does not mean that they are manipulable, far from it, they are
the people who take an overview, look at the wider picture and are particularly
concerned with the logic and fairness of life.

The Amiable side of our personality is the one that says ‘Where does this fit in?’
‘How do I feel about this?’ ‘How do others feel about this?’, ‘Is it fair?’ – notice
how many questions the Amiable asks, and that most of these questions have
no easy or factual answer. The secret of dealing with Amiables is to let them
discover by discussion. There is no easy answer for Amiables – there are so
many things to consider and they will become very angry indeed if you give
answers that seem glib or mechanistic.

When an Amiable shows anger (and this is rarely) it will be because they have
not been given the chance to investigate all the possibilities. It is said that they
hate to make decisions because they have so many options to choose from
and see the merits of each of them.

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Amiables make great leaders and command immense respect; they also make
great followers and will support the people they trust to the hilt. If you have a
high Amiable side, or work with them, you must allow time for discussion and
never push for a quick or ad hoc solution. They are good at long term planning
and persuading others to disclose worries and concerns.

If is our Amiable side that helps us to think about the moral values of what we
are doing and if we ignore this we often feel that we are somehow ‘cheating the
world’.

If Amiables have a fault (and they would be the first to admit it) it is that they
don’t make decisions easily. Unlike Analyticals this is not because they haven’t
collected the facts, but because they know that all problems or decisions have
more than one outcome and so there is not always a pressing need to
implement an action immediately: consequently they put things off until a
pattern emerges. They are also very curious about outcomes, and a wrong
decision is not the end of the world to them, more a chance to examine what
might happen more carefully.

An Amiable will acquiesce rather than confront conflict – but only for a while –
if a moral, social or intellectual conflict arises they will quietly, (but very
powerfully ‘behind the scenes’) sort things out to get the result he or she
requires.

When working with an Amiable don’t try to give a point solution, let them explain
and discuss with you all the implications in the situation.

To summarise:
Unhurried, calm, warm voices, asks strong questions, demands logic and
clarity, friendly, concerned with justices, open minded, shares personal
feelings, pace steady, intellectually curious, loves discussion, slow decision
maker.

What an Amiable will want in a relationship:

➢ Close attention to personal needs
➢ Opportunity to discuss successes and failures
➢ Clarification of background to new tasks/projects
➢ Company policies and relationships
➢ Responsibility for welfare of others
➢ Guarantees and assurances
➢ Support

What you will need to look out for with an Amiable:

➢ Conflicts that have been avoided
➢ Lack of initiative
➢ Tendency to sidetrack or lose impetus
➢ Tendency to solve other people’s problems while shelving their own

ANALYTICAL – Quadrant 3

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This style is low assertive, low responsive and the complete opposite of the
Expressive style. We all have some of this in ourselves and a good thing too.
Analyticals are the ‘finishers’ of the world and as such are highly valued. This
style is often the hardest part of our personality to access since it requires
discipline and care. The high Analytical shows very little emotion, preferring to
be cautious and careful and making no decision without all the relevant facts.

Analyticals prefer to work alone, gathering data and checking it carefully. They
do not make decisions easily; they hate failure and so make as sure as possible
that there are no loopholes that they have overlooked. Their speech is
deliberate, fairly slow and studied; they will not give an opinion unless they are
sure that they can back it up intellectually and factually.

It is often hard to tell what an Analytical is thinking because they give so little
away, but it is a mistake to believe that they are emotionless – they become
very angry if they are treated carelessly. When an Analytical becomes angry
you may not notice this at once, but there will be a narrowing of the eyes,
coldness in the voice and their questions will become more pointed and
particular.

Analyticals rarely show their feelings, preferring to rely on facts and details. For
this reason they are often seen as pedantic and not being able to see the wood
for the trees. They are often the advisors to the decision makers and should
never be dismissed in the decision making process.

The Analytical part of our personality is the one that takes a dispassionate view
of things, the part that steps back and says ‘Let’s check this out’ or ‘Don’t rush
into this’ or ‘I need to have time to find out more about this’. This part of our
personality is the editor of our feelings and actions and if ignored or discounted
can lead to feelings of inefficiency and carelessness.

In stress situations, the Analytical attempts to avoid the conflict and will turn
inwards. Since Analyticals measure their personal success by the amount of
activity they complete, they can bury themselves in working without considering
whether that work is really productive. When working with Analyticals make
sure that you support their principles and the way they think, and that you
explain carefully how things are to be achieved and give them plenty of back
up material.

If you find yourself becoming very Analytical, remember that this will affect your
ability to make decisions – so force yourself to make decisions without
becoming bogged down with details.

If Analyticals have a fault (and they will be very distressed to find out that they
have) it is that they tend to be timid about decisions, collecting more and more
facts to put off the evil hour of having to say yes or no.

To summarise:

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Deliberate, studied, slow in speech. Asks questions, wants details, limited
expression of personal feelings, reserved, unresponsive, no small talk, slow
paced, indecisive, meticulous, low eye contact, good finishers.

What an Analytical will want in a relationship

➢ Clear Tasking
➢ Reassurance about risks
➢ Detailed feedback about achievements and shortfalls
➢ Clear timetables
➢ Time to think and answer questions
➢ Clear measurements and goals

What you will need to look out for with an Analytical

➢ Decisions that have been put off
➢ So much attention to details that the overall picture may be lost
➢ Information not passed on to the rest of the team
➢ Isolation from the rest of the team
➢ Personality conflicts with Expressives

DRIVERS – Quadrant 4

Powerful and dynamic, these are highly assertive and low on the responsive
scale. This means that they are most concerned with Getting Things Done.
Efficiency is all to the Driver, and they try to find the best ways of being efficient,
even at times at the expense of themselves and sometimes at the expense of
others.

Drivers are often admired from afar (they rarely show their private side). They
hold themselves up as the model to which all should aspire and very often they
are right. They drive themselves and their teams hard, usually getting the
immediate results very effectively (this is why you should allow your pragmatic
side out when you need fast action) but sometimes worrying why no one will
talk to them. If you imagined a Driver holding anything it would probably be a
whip – one that they used to lash themselves as much as their team.

If you are in a difficult situation that requires an immediate action, pull out your
pragmatic side and get a decision made – or make it yourself – but don’t be too
surprised if people respond with aggression. Drivers, like Expressives, thrive
on conflict, but where the Expressive will move on to something new and less
stressful, Drivers will fight to the bitter end (there are times when this is
necessary, but not always).

If this style has a fault (and they will never admit this) it is that they don’t listen,
they’ve made their minds up already and want it doing now. The things that
really irritate Drivers are time wasting, resource wasting and inefficiency. While
they admire Analyticals for their attention to detail, they become irritated with
the time it takes the Analyst to come up with an action.
While they admire the Expressives for getting on with the job, they become
irritated with the Activists’ need for personal involvement. They respect the
Amiables breadth of vision but are often impatient with the amount of discussion

Learning & Development- 20 -

and examination they indulge in. Drivers are superb at making the numbers
but there are times when they wonder why there isn’t a team there to help them.

If you are working with this personality style you should always have proof at
your fingertips: enthusiasm isn’t enough, research isn’t enough, and global
overview isn’t enough. Does it work? With the right margins? In the right
timescales? Exactly what is happening?

These are the questions that the Driver will ask and if you don’t have the
answers – heaven help you!

Drivers get things going, delegate well, and see things through – however, they
may find themselves out of the team if they never relinquish the leader’s role or
look at other’s needs. Use your Driver side to make decisions, look at the
competition, push things along. Do not use it to force the members of your
team to stay with you/your ideas/the company … because that way you give no
one any choices and they will vote with their Expressive, Analytical, Amiable
sides and, in the end, their feet. If you find yourself becoming very Driver
remember that you may find it difficult to listen to and therefore be aware of
others’ concerns. Pull out the Amiable, Analytical, or Expressive in yourself
and join in rather than making the world the way you think it should be.

To summarise:

Dynamic, forceful, tough, needing proof, hard driving, sometimes insensitive to

others’ feelings, good but stern leaders, decisive, don’t show personal feelings,
vigilant, aggressive, fast paced, opinionated.

What the Driver will want in a relationship:

➢ Rewards
➢ Promotion
➢ Time Saving
➢ Clear, challenging tasks that let them exercise power
➢ Resources

What you will need to look out for with a Driver:

➢ Insensitivity to other team members’ needs

➢ Inability to listen
➢ Blinkered vision – no understanding of emotional issues
➢ Expectations too high of self and others
➢ Tendency to criticise without giving help
➢ Severe self criticism masked as irritability

Communication Working in Teams

A team is a small group of people who cooperate together in such a way that
they achieve more than they would if they worked alone.

Learning & Development - 21 -

Many of us prefer to work in teams – we often ask friends to come with us and
give us confidence when we are not sure about a situation; we also club
together in teams if we want to win competitions or to protest about something.

The importance of team communication is critical to effective team working.

Teams should be encouraged to;

➢ Voice their opinions without fear

➢ Meet regularly to hold discussions
➢ Be involved and updated on team projects or business objectives
➢ Assist in developing or building other team members ideas
➢ Problem solve
➢ Create a supportive atmosphere

“So can you understand our goals? I can’t say it any

louder than I am already!”

Using technology to communicate

can bring positive results, especially in business. But, it’s important to use
‘communications technology’ the right way!

Receiving phone calls

When you are receiving phone calls, follow these rules.
➢ Pick up the phone after two or three rings
➢ Identify yourself and your organisation or department. Find out the name
of the caller
➢ Take notes to help your understanding. Double-check details like phone
numbers, amounts and dates.
➢ If you need to place the caller on hold, ask the caller first and explain why
it is necessary.
Making phone calls
➢ Be prepared to make the phone call. Have any information you need ready
➢ Say who you are, and why you are calling.

Using mobile phones

Learning & Development- 22 -

➢ Make sure you have enough power in your phone and good reception
before make call
➢ Find a suitable time and place to make the call. Turn off your phone in
meetings, presentations and so on.
➢ Never use a mobile phone while you are driving. It’s against the law.

Learn how to use the technology

Take time to learn how your organisation’s phone system works. Make sure
you know how to use all the facilities, like transferring calls, putting callers on
hold and getting them back again!

Don’t each, drink or chew gum when speaking on the phone. Always call
back if you are accidentally disconnected.

Make the most of voicemail

When you leave a message on someone’s voicemail, be clear and concise,
include:
➢ your name and organisation
➢ the day and time
➢ the purpose of your call
➢ the number where you can be reached

If you have voicemail, change your own message regularly to say:

➢ your name and department
➢ whether you’re out of the workplace
➢ when you’ll be back

For example, “you have reached the voicemail of Annie Williams in the
Accounts Department. I’m out of the office until Friday. Please leave a message
after the tone”.

Use e-mail properly

Make sure using e-mail is the best way to communicate, rather than for
example, using the phone.
➢ keep e-mails simple and direct
➢ think about the structure, style and tone
➢ start your e-mail “Dear …” and sign off following your organisation’s policy
➢ Don’t assume the person you are emailing can read any attachments –
check first

Make sure you know and follow our organisation’s policy on using the phone
and sending e-mails.

Written communication
Letters, memos and reports are standard forms of communication in
organisations. Make sure you use the right one for your purpose.

Letters

Learning & Development - 23 -

You’re representing your organisation when you send out letters, so they need
to be properly structured. Pay attention to the following.
➢ Use the proper tone- should you be formal or familiar?
➢ Organise the letter properly. Use a new paragraph for each new idea
➢ Keep the content simple and to the point. Don’t waffle!
➢ Lay out the letter properly on headed paper. Follow your organisation’s
‘house style’ and make sure you have all the correct items such as the
date and any reference.
➢ Sign off properly, using your organisation’s house style (usually your name
and department or job title).
➢ Check spelling, punctuation and grammar. Any errors reflect badly on
you and your organisation

Make sure you read through all y our written work so there are no
mistakes. If possible, ask someone else to read it too.

Memos
This is a type of ‘internal’ letter sent to people within the same group or
organisation. In general, you should follow these rules.
➢ The style should be polite and direct
➢ Points should be explained clearly (although abbreviations and office
‘jargon’ are often acceptable).
➢ The format should follow our organisation’s guidelines.

Reports
Reports collect and analyse information. Make sure you understand the
purpose of a report before you start researching and writing drafts. Structure
the report so it will be easy to read. Include:
➢ a title
➢ a table of contents (for long reports)
➢ an introduction
➢ a content
➢ a summary.

Use clear, direct language. The tone should be formal and businesslike.

Other types of paperwork

In your organisation you may have to deal with other written forms of
communication, such as invoices, order forms and so on. Always follow your
organisation’s policy and these rules.
➢ Double-check all details, for example, numbers and amounts.
➢ Include all the information that is needed, for example, the date, reference
number, name and addresses.
➢ File copies in the right place so you can get the information again quickly

Communicating to Groups of People

Is a special challenge. Here are a few tips. Meetings are an arranged time for
a group of people to discuss a certain subject and share information.

Taking part in meetings

Learning & Development- 24 -

If you are taking part in a meeting, follow these rules.
➢ Make sure you turn up on time, and don’t leave until the meeting is closed.
➢ Sit up straight and pay attention to whoever is speaking. Make notes of
any action you need to take.
➢ Don’t interrupt when other people are speaking.
➢ When you are invited to give your point of view, keep your comments to
the point –don’t use it as an opportunity to discuss other issues.

Organising meetings
If you are organising a meeting, follow these rules.
➢ Only invite people who need to be there.
➢ Give out the agenda beforehand so other people have time to prepare.
➢ Make sure there is enough room for everybody who is going to be at the
meeting.
➢ Have enough copies of any papers you are giving out.
➢ During the meeting, make sure everyone has a chance to give their point
of view. But keep to the subject of the meeting – don’t let the
conversation go on.

Presentations are for putting a message across to a group of people.

Preparing your presentation

➢ Research and organise your topics beforehand.
➢ Learn as much as you can about your audience.
➢ Prepare notes to follow during the presentation.
➢ If possible, rehearse your presentation in front of a friend
➢ Time your rehearsal and make changes if necessary to fit the time slot.
➢ Plan for possible questions/prepare your answers.

Giving your presentation

➢ Introduce yourself at the beginning of the presentation. Say what you will
be talking about and why.
➢ Stand up straight while you are speaking. Don’t fiddle with anything. Hold
your notes if it helps to keep your hands still.
➢ Speaking clearly so the people furthest away can hear you. Don’t shout.
➢ Start slowly and pause between points (any anxiety you feel usually goes
soon after your first remarks).
➢ Look at your notes as often as you need to, but don’t just read them out.
➢ Look round at the people you are talking to. Don’t just stare at one person.

Using Aids
➢ Use visual or audio aids to help get your message across (but make sure
any equipment is working and you know how to use it).
➢ Have enough hand-outs for the number of people who will be there.

Learning & Development - 25 -

 ➢ Write clearly, in large letters and a dark pen, if you are using whiteboards
or flip charts.

Choose the right form of communication for your message

Communication skills include knowing what is appropriate to different
situations
Face to face
It’s always best to speak to someone face to face in the following situations.

• When your message is personal, private or

sensitive in any way
(for example, if it involves giving criticism or bad news.)
• If you and other people
need to exchange a lot
of information of
Ideas. (For example, in an interview or meeting.)
• If it’s the quickest and clearest way to communicate. (For
Example, giving a message to a colleague who sits next to you.)

Phone
Use the phone in the following situations.

• When you need to get or give information quickly. (For example,

Information about prices and delivery times.)
• When responding to a
phone message.
•
•
E-mail
Use e-mail in the following situations.

• When you need to give a lot of information and it is quicker and

Clearer to send an email than to phone or write.
• When responding to an e-mail.

Written communication
Use written communication when you have specific information to
Give someone. (For example, for letters, memos and reports.)

Always follow our organisation’s policy for using different forms of

communication

Learning & Development- 26 -

Dealing with Difficult Communication
Yes, it’s difficult enough to communicate and say what you want to people
without it being made worse with difficult situations. These difficult situations
can be;
➢ Aggression
➢ Face to face
➢ Via the phone
➢ Giving bad news

Aggression
You may be fortunate enough to pre-empt any aggression but not always. If
you are able, anticipate any problems and work out some solutions prior to the
discussion. Aggression usually gets worse if you respond to aggression by
being aggressive, don’t, keep calm and maintain a neutral body posture and
breathe deeply.

Aggressive people tend to think that their views or concerns are not being taken
seriously, take the time to allow the individual to explain, listen and clarify any
points that you are unsure of. Place yourself in their position and empathise
with the situation, respond do not react.

Five tips in dealing with aggression are;

➢ Broken record technique
Repeating in an assertive and calm manner, what it is you want or need until
the other person relents or agrees to negotiate with you.
➢ Negative feelings assertion
State how you feel about their behaviour in a calm manner. Acknowledge
their feelings towards you and any true criticism they may have.
➢ Stalling
Acknowledge their problems or feelings without admitting any fault.
➢ Offer a compromise
If appropriate.
➢ Focus on solutions
Ask what they would like to happen and what they want from you

So, the fives rules when dealing with aggressive people are;
➢ Be straight forward and get to the point
➢ Be honest about what is relevant
➢ Respond, don’t react – keep your emotions in check
➢ Listen to what the other person is saying, not just what you want to hear
➢ Stick to your bottom line

Face to Face
When dealing face to face, ensure that you clearly define the objectives for the
meeting, and that you set the context of the discussion positively.

Explain the facts and the impact on not resolving the situation, ensuring you
use open questions. Take each stage of the discussion in steps; confirm after
each step that an acceptance or solution has been agreed.

Learning & Development - 27 -

Via the Phone
➢ Pause and listen
➢ Clarify
➢ Reassure/summarise
➢ Present/Test for solution
➢ Confirm acceptance of solution

Giving Bad News

Not the easiest to do, and generally we all find it difficult to communicate bad
news, because of the emotional feelings that are generated. It is important to
be aware of these emotions and prepare for them as best you can.

When you are communicating any bad news;

➢ Pause between sentences
➢ Explain what you can do and not what you cant
➢ Brief reason
A brief rationale for not being able or willing to accede to the request
➢ Use positive language throughout
➢ Polite refusal
➢ An offer of cooperation
Say if you are willing to help in some other way or at some other time

Workplace Conflict
Conflict can be a force for good or evil depending on how well managers
understand its dynamics, fast changing nature and the behaviours and tools
which can either appease or inflame.

Managers reckon they now spend up to 20% of their time managing

workplace conflict. In one survey, conflict management ranked No 7 in
managers’ Top Ten list of priorities.

It’s only recently that conflict has become such a common feature of the
working landscape. So what’s changed? Some key trends raising discordant
notes:

➢ greater efficiency gains

Putting pressure on employees to do more with less; as people crack
under strain, intolerance and conflict rise
➢ devolved responsibility
Giving even junior staff power to make decisions they never made before;
but as number of decision makers’ rise, so does potential for argument
➢ more collaboration
Forcing employees to work in teams, linking performance and rewards to
that of team-mates, insisting on group consensus, are all friction-raisers
➢ greater workforce diversity
Which may improve innovation – or sow seeds of destruction

Learning & Development- 28 -

Don’t make it taboo

Conflict is: an awareness on the part of parties involved of

discrepancies, incompatible wishes or irreconcilable
desires.’

Generally seen as something negative, conflict can in fact

be a force for good. Make it taboo and firms fall prey to:

➢ group-think
Because employees won’t voice objections, suggest
new ideas, take problem-solving risks if they think
managers want and reward conformity, obedience;
result? Benefits of diverse skills lost; bad decisions get
endorsed
➢ distrust, superficiality
Because nobody says what they think; in contrast, conflict can help build
better understanding, trust; raise individual learning

You know conflict is constructive when it:

➢ increases involvement of all parties

➢ strengthens their working relationships
➢ helps parties change, grow
➢ produces an effective solution

Destructive conflict

But if too little conflict is a problem for organisations, destructive conflict is

probably even worse, damaging:

➢ performance
Because decision-making stalls, solutions elude; energy is expended on
mounting fight, and diverted away from key issues
➢ organisational health
Stress and conflict intimately linked in vicious cycle: conflict creates stress
which increases sensitivity, susceptibility to conflict – which increases
stress
➢ reputation
As conflict escalates into e.g. strike action, lawsuits
➢ corporate culture
When conflict is long running, it becomes institutionalised, creating a
culture of:
o unions vs management
o them vs us
o Head Office vs business unit

Learning & Development - 29 -

Understanding conflict
Conflict may be driven by power differences - in e.g. experience, rank. But
conflict at work is most commonly found among equals working in groups,
where three types of conflict have been identified:

➢ relationship conflict
Caused by interpersonal incompatibilities; conflict rooted in e.g. discrepant
personal values, sense of humour; manifest in dislike among group
members; feelings of tension, irritation
➢ task conflict
Occurs when members have different opinions about group task; manifest
in animated discussions, personal excitement - but void of negative
emotions apparent in relationship conflict
➢ process conflict
Where members disagree about how task will be accomplished; pertains
to issues of e.g. duty, resource-sharing; manifest in arguments about who
should do what; how much responsibility different members should have

Dynamic nature
Conflict is also a dynamic, not static process - so levels can fluctuate within a
period. This means team leaders need to:

➢ monitor conflict over time

And guard against making early snap judgments which label team as
conflict-ridden
➢ consider conflict type
Relationship conflict is generally bad for team performance; task conflict is
generally healthy; process conflict can be either
➢ study how much and when conflict occurs
E.g. process conflict is useful if people spend time arguing over task
allocation at start of project; but, later on, may interfere with smooth,
efficient operations

In metamorphosis

Another indication of the dynamic nature of conflict - its ability to twist, change
form over time. When serious conflict remains unresolved, expect:

➢ employees to ‘even the score’

by applying pressure tactics (e.g. flooding grievance procedure to soak up
management time ); taking retribution (e.g. breaking machinery); letting off
emotional steam (e.g. making managers subject of jokes, insulting graffiti)
➢ outcomes to become chaotic, unpredictable
Because once it’s got a foothold, conflict is hard to control

Learning & Development- 30 -

Conflict competent

One of the big difficulties with managing conflict is that its root causes are
often hidden. First step towards becoming a conflict competent organisation
(CCO) is to spend time on getting right diagnosis by:

➢ initiating conflict audit

To pinpoint chronic sources of conflict; because difficult relationships,
behaviour’s are often the symptoms, not the cause, of conflict

➢ addressing organisational justice and culture

Are e.g. pay, promotion policies procedures fair; are aggressive,
confrontational managers admired?

Conducting conflict
Leverage healthy conflict, minimise the destructive kind:

➢ stay alert to early signs

Of destructive conflict, e.g. nit-picking, trivial complaints among staff;
underlying these symptoms may be fundamental tension which careless
manager can ignite into bushfire

➢ model a ‘comfortableness’ with conflict

Motorola: 15 years ago during officers’ meeting celebrating success,
employee stood up in front of peers, their spouses to proclaim
Motorola’s quality was awful; willingness of employee to speak against
grain led to highly praised Six Sigma quality effort; today firm tells story
over and over as way to show staff what healthy conflict can do for firm

➢ respect individual differences

In e.g. communication, work, management style; concentrate on what
people contribute not how they contribute

➢ be open to new ways of thinking

Instead of rushing to defend status quo

➢ establish open conflict norms

Some rules for conducting arguments, resolving conflict, agreed by parties
e.g.:
o parties must listen to each other without interruption for ten
minutes
o attempts to personalise arguments, undermine others are not
allowed
o when emotions run high, the parties should take a cooling off
period to regain composure
o parties seek consensus not majority support

Learning & Development - 31 -

Conflict resolution

Three strategies for firms:

➢ alternative dispute resolution (ADR)
A minimal approach; aims to avoid costly, bloody litigation; managers
encouraged to surface conflict through e.g. open door policy; firm provides
resolution skills training; proposes voluntary use of e.g. mediation; staff
decide on process for resolving conflict
➢ dispute resolution policies
More formal; firm lays down specific procedures for surfacing, dealing with
conflict; gives greater management control e.g. may require staff to work
through chain of command; doesn’t reduce conflict but allows dispute to
surface easily; also process for resolution is predictable
➢ conflict resolution system
Most formal; aims to reduce ‘bad’ conflict, minimise severity; may include
e.g. conflict management committee; peer review panels; neutral fact-
finding; costliest but most likely to minimise conflict

A sports analogy: the aim isn’t to ban the fight but to make sure it’s clean.

Good communication skills pay off!

They can help you be more successful, appreciated and happy!

√ Successful
Your ability to grow and get ahead depends on your ability to communicate.
√ Appreciated
Your honest, clarity and ability to listen will go a long way.
√ Happy
Successful communication is one of life’s great joys!

There’s nothing like understanding – and being understood

Learning & Development- 32 -

Learning & Development - 33 -
Role Plays – Handling Difficult Situations

Role Play (1) Getting Annoyed

You are a newly qualified lawyer and have been sharing an office with a
senior lawyer for the past six months. You are becoming increasingly irritated
by your colleague’s working habits and are finding it difficult to concentrate on
your work. In particular, he/she tends to:

➢ Talk to both clients and colleagues on speakerphone

➢ Arrange informal meetings at his/her desk

➢ Think and read aloud

➢ Encroach on your desk space with files, papers and journals

You have decided to speak to your colleague about this, what is the best way
of handling this?

Role Play (2) Having Favourites

You have been working with your current admin assistant for 6 months. She
has also been working with another manager for 2 years. You have noticed
that she does not give your work the same priority as the other managers’
work. In particular, you think that she:

➢ Caused you to miss an important deadline by not typing up your notes in

time
➢ Completes unimportant work for your colleague before important work for
you
➢ Fails to thoroughly check for mistakes before returning typed documents
➢ Is less helpful when taking messages for you and often forgets to inform
you of messages

You have decided to discuss this with your admin assistant, what is the best
way of handling this?

Role Play (3) Too Much to Do

You have just got back from a meeting to find an urgent fax from one of your
clients (sent at 5pm).
The client has been sent an old version of an important document – s/he
needs the correct version for an important meeting at 6pm with his/her board.

You also find a voicemail message from your assistant stating that the client
called at 5.30pm extremely annoyed that s/he has not yet received the
document and that there was no one else to help.

- 38 - Learning & Development

It is now 7pm, what is the best way of handling this?

Learning & Development

- 38 - Learning & Development