Sometimes, things you believe in become just so blurry that when you think about

them, you start to doubt.

This was my case when I began to doubt the existence of a supreme

being who is God. I know it's a kind of blasphemy against the authority of God but
I wanted to know, fault of philosophy. Indeed, as a scientist, I often confront
science with religion, which often leads me to certain reflections such as: who is
God? Where is he from? Who created him? And at the same time, I was
wondering where did the human race come from? Dust like in the Bible? Or did
humans just appear strangely on earth?
I tried to talk a little about it with my close friends and they replied that
it was useless to think about it, especially since we are still at school and
preparing for our final exams. Obviously I was not satisfied, I was even more
stubborn and I searched again and again. I realized later that I was going in circles
and my friends teased me about it. So I gave up.
I am from a religious family and I don't have many people I can talk to
about it. I know if I talked about it with my family, they had think I had gone
crazy… I have imagined them thinking "maybe she's possessed" and worrying for
nothing.
After a while, I realized that I was getting a bit lost in my thinking. I have
always loved religion and all that it implies, how it manages to appease us when
we need it and I would not like to separate myself from this feeling of benefactor.
That is the real reason why I gave up my idea of knowing who God is after at least
three months of questioning and decided to just believe it, as before.