The Writers Jungle

The Writer’s Jungle
A SURVIVOR’S GUIDE TO WRITING FOR KIDS
BY JULIE BOGART
The Writer’s Jungle. Copyright © 2001 by Julie Bogart. Published by Brave Writer,
West Chester, Ohio 45069
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a

retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopy, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher
except as provided by USA copyright law.
Printed in the Unites States of America.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number Pending
© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

What Moms Are Saying about
Brave Writer Online Courses
"This is a terrific class for mothers who have looked at every curricu-
lum imaginable and have come away with their heads spinning and no
closer to an answer than when they began! This class has given me the
tools I need to help my children become better writers and for me to
relax with the process. I have been “given permission” by professionals to
concentrate on the process of writing rather than be uptight in grading
papers for grammatical and spelling errors. The writing that my children
have done while taking this class has improved and is something they are
excited about sharing with others. That, to me, is immeasurable.”
—Lisa McAfee
“This has been the first positive experience I've had with teaching
writing to my kids. It's practical, realistic, and encouraging. Not only is
the writing process clarified, the mother/child relationship is strength-
ened.”
—Margaret Colvin
“It’s not just the hands-on approach to writing but the hand-hold-
ing.”
—Jane Reimold
“Your courses have been very enlightening to me, this one especially,
as your approach to teaching writing is entirely different than anything
else I have ever experienced. I have gained an understanding of not only
how to approach the writing process, but an understanding of why tradi-
tional writing instruction doesn't work.”
—Ruth Anna Leiter
I learned that I CAN teach my sons how to write effectively! I

learned that I know good writing when I read it and Julie helped me see
how to “get good writing” out of our guys. She also helped me see how
to be patient with those beginning stages!
—Judy Scholfield
iii

INTRODUCTION
“I learned that we can actually be successful at writing! Whew! And

that Shane is quite a good writer and I haven't yet killed his perspective
and voice. That Kyle has a lot of strengths I hadn't noticed. That I
haven't ruined their chances and ability at writing for life!”
—Kim Roberts
“In this course, Julie and Rachel take you by the hand and mentor
you as you walk your child through the step by step process of translating
some of his/her thoughts and experiences into words on paper. Before I
took this course, I thought I wanted someone else to teach my children
writing for me. It seemed too hard and frustrating for me to do. Now, I
would hate to let anyone else have the joy of helping my kids express
themselves!”
—Laura Hunt
“There was something about having two teachers “out there” who
care about me and Joey; it was motivation for both of us beyond the
impersonal text or workbooks! I guess the feeling that you and Rachel
cared as much (more in fact!) about our relationships with our children
as you did about producing ANYTHING!”
—Mary Hunt
“Even though I have tried numerous curriculum that has had writing
assignments spelled out—they have never seemed to work. This worked
because it was an assignment that we (child and me) did together. By
that I mean that we were really on the same team because I was learning
too. It wasn't me stating “do the assignment” and then walking away.”
—Paula Horton
“The most valuable thing I learned is that it's okay to direct and pull
things out of the girls. I wasn't sure how much direction to give them,
but the more direction I gave, the more they began to think for them-
selves. The most valuable thing they learned is that they can write.”
—Kim Eldridge
“Kidswrite Basic made writing simple. It gave us a way to start on a

writing assignment with the freedom of expression that has escaped us in
the past. We learned to use words to create more accurate pictures of
what was in our minds.
I think the biggest plus was having a teacher, aside from myself, giv-
ing my children input about their writing. I loved the class and my chil-
dren felt positive about the activities and writing assignments. I look for-
ward to taking more classes in the future.”
—Rhonda Boone
iv

A Survivor’s Guide to Writing With Kids
Julie Bogart

vi
THE WRITER’S JUNGLE
Preface to Second Edition

The goal in writing isn’t perfection but courage. Julie Bogart
efore my youngest daughter could read, she could write. At ages

B three and four, she filled notebooks with squiggles, loopy lines and
marks that rushed across the page in a hurry to tell the reader her secrets.
“Don’t look inside that notebook. It’s private,” Caitrin would say. I loved
that. We couldn’t read a word of the stories that filled those pages but for
Caitrin that writing was no less real or revelatory than the stack of
library books I read to her at naptime. One night while Jon (my hus-
band) and I were out, Caitrin told her older sister a tale. My older
daughter, Johannah, grabbed a clipboard and recorded Caitrin’s story ver-
batim to share with Jon and me later that night. Somehow in this family,
the connection had been formed––good words deserve paper.
Caitrin realized that these handwritten words recorded by her sister
(Caitrin’s own words) could be read again and again (and we read them
again and again). She loved the power of her voice preserved on paper.
So she kept writing… and began to read her writing to us. Of course, we
still couldn’t read it. But she could. Her rambling squiggles had begun to
take form. They looked now a lot like capital letters sprinkled across the
page. She filled notebooks with capitals. One day she discovered that a
lower case alphabet had been hiding in the middle of her picture books
and added a smattering of small a’s, d’s and m’s to her favorite notebooks.
Meanwhile she continued to not read. We spent hours going over the
phonics, sounding out, trying various methods. I consulted with my
friend Rita, the reading specialist (who now works for Brave Writer), to
get tips to help Caitrin break through. Caitrin was already seven and a
half, writing profusely but not reading a word. However, she memorized
song lyrics, poetry and children’s picture books. She repeated entire CDs
by Jim Weiss (Tall Tales and Greek myths), and lines from every TV
show she watched. Her vocabulary repeatedly astounded adults… and yet
we knew that she couldn’t read, and her writing “made no sense.”
By age eight, Caitrin gave up on reading, yet she continued to write.
Her writing took new shape. Now, instead of random letters across a
page, she applied some of those phonetic principles I’d attempted to
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PREFACE
teach her for reading. She put the alphabet together in her own phoneti-
cally correct way and created words she could read back to us over and
over again (though no one else understood how her phonics worked).
The first time she wrote a story that I could read, she retold the legend
of “Atlanta and the Golden Apples.” We’d made a little book about that
story, and she wouldn’t put up with telling it to me while I jotted it
down. She had to take that pencil out of my hand and write it herself.
Her spellings eluded most other readers, yet I found myself able to track
the logic of her personal phonetic system. It was a powerful moment of
growth for her and joy for me. Her passion for writing was teaching her
to read!
Her passion for writing was
teaching her to read! A few months later, I began to study biblical Greek. During our
copywork (Chapter One) times, I copied Greek while the kids copied
passages in English. But this strange old alphabet fascinated Caitrin, so
she decided to learn it. Caitrin wrote the Greek alphabet out so many
times that I wondered if she knew it better than I did. Amazingly
enough, before she could read a single reader in English, she was sound-
ing out the Greek alphabet and using it to write each of our names. She
transliterated English words using Greek characters. She did this by
applying strict phonics.
This strategy worked wonderfully for Caitrin. Phonetic Greek was a
real breakthrough. She could see that the rules she understood could be
applied regularly and they’d produce words that could be read. We
resumed our attempts to read English on this basis, and quickly she froze
again. It was very discouraging.
Six months slid by. Caitrin turned nine. I continued to read to her,
and she continued to write. She would copy some English into a note-
book, but by and large, her writing was limited to phonetic English of
her own creation and her reading never took off. During all this time,
Caitrin taught herself how to play games on the computer, navigate the
Internet, and identify the Greek alphabet in all the surprising places it
exists. Her vocabulary expanded, and she memorized poetry. All without
reading.
One day, everything clicked into place. Caitrin asked for an email
address so that she could discuss “Skating with the Stars” with her
grandma. I wondered how she’d manage to both write real words and to
read the response. I shouldn’t have worried. After two weeks of emails,
while reading to Caitrin one morning, she took the book out of my hand
and instead, read it to me.
Mouth hanging open, I asked, “Can you read this?”
“Yeah. I think I just learned how to read.”
“How did that happen?”
“Well, I’ve been writing to Grandma. She sends me an email and I
have to sit there and figure out what she says. Dad said to just skip words
you don’t know and see if the whole thing makes sense once you read the
viii

other words. So I tried it. And it worked! I didn’t have to read every
word for you and no one watched me and I had time. I also had to write
back to her, so I had to see if my words were spelled right and stuff.”
Knock me over with a feather. The writing road to reading to be
sure, but wow did she take the long way home. The journey to reading
came through writing. And the writing was never about the correctness The journey to reading came
of the spelling, the accuracy of the grammar, the precision of the punctu- through writing. And the writ-
ation. It was about the expression of a self in quest of language and she ing was never about the cor-
happened to choose a pencil and paper to make it happen. rectness of the spelling, the
accuracy of the grammar, the
Lest you think that this was an ideal example of a journey from illit- precision of the punctuation. It
erate to literate, let me assure you I lost some sleep during those nine was all about the expression of
years. I didn’t know the end from the beginning. Caitrin is our fifth a self in quest of language and
child. She read the latest of any of them, yet started writing earlier than she happened to choose a pen-
cil and paper to make it hap-
the others too. I share her story here, now, because learning is like this. pen.
We can’t plan to have a child learn according to our schedules, but we
can affirm and encourage each stage of development. We can trust the
process and nurture it as we are given opportunity.
The Growth of Brave Writer

We can’t plan to have a child
This second edition of The Writer’s Jungle comes six years after the learn according to our sched-
first edition. At that time, I hadn’t had a teenager learn to write an essay. ules, but we can affirm and
I hadn’t graduated any of our kids from homeschool. My youngest hadn’t encourage each stage of devel-
opment. We can trust the
even begun to homeschool. I wrote The Writer’s Jungle and taught online
process and nurture it as we are
courses by faith. I believed that the principles I trusted in my own writ- given opportunity.
ing and career in editing and ghost-writing would work for others.
In the midst of doubts, concerns, new territory and the anxiety about
whether my older kids were truly prepared for college or their chosen
futures, one thing has remained the same all along–I trust the writing
process. Six years after the start of Brave Writer and thousands of stu- Six years after the start of Brave
dents later, I can say with utter confidence that a child who makes the Writer and thousands of stu-
dents later, I can say with utter
connection between self and paper, who can cough up the words from confidence that a child who
inside and get them to the page will in fact become a writer. That process makes the connection between
leads as naturally to expository and academic writing as reading picture self and paper, who can cough
books leads to reading scholarly journals and encyclopedias. up the words from inside and
get them to the page will in
This second edition is essentially the same as the first edition. Feel fact become a writer.
free to skip this chapter and read it at the end of the book or start right
here knowing that all of the suggestions will make more sense as you
dive into the original material.
Since Brave Writer began in January 2000, we’ve seen our company
go from a one-woman kitchen-table operation to a staff of seven. The
original Brave Writer company (then called The Writing Compass) only
offered one online class and The Writer’s Jungle. We didn’t even have a
website.
Today, we offer a wide range of free and and fee-based materials. The
Writer’s Jungle is still the primary resource for becoming a Brave Writer
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PREFACE
family, but we have also added tools that make your life easier, if you so
choose. Let’s take a look at what those are. The Writer’s Jungle is the cor-
nerstone of the Brave Writer philosophy. It’s the piece that funds the
entire operation and makes it possible for me to offer all kinds of free
support online in the forums, through the blog and via email. This man-
ual gives you the philosophy of writing and coaching that you’ll use for
the rest of your children’s writing lives. Its content is not duplicated on
the website, though the first half of the book presents similar material to
what is offered in the Kidswrite Basic online course. I hope you’ll return
to The Writer’s Jungle often and that you’ll use the three-ring binder to
save your children’s work right with the chapters that give the exercises.
The binder also enables you to include issues of the Arrow, Boomerang
or Slingshot (to be described below) as you order and print them off.
We offer both public and private forums at bravewriter.com. The
Brave Writer Scratch Pad public forum gives Brave Writer families the
chance to chat about writing, homeschool, and the various Brave Writer
Lifestyle practices that have become a part of their lives. I also offer
feedback on writing, give advice and answer questions related to anything
language arts. The private forums are for classes, which I’ll explain in a
minute.
The Brave Writer blog provides a weekly Friday freewriting prompt,
articles that develop some aspect of writing, book reviews, movie reviews,
student writing contests, family photos taken at teatime and more. It’s
updated three to five times weekly. The blog is the place where I offer
you new ideas about writing and stimulate you to try new writing prac-
tices or prompts.
In addition to the blog and forums, there is another resource that has
revolutionized how families incorporate the Brave Writer philosophy into
their families. I’ve developed a free yahoo group list called the Brave
Writer Lifestyle that offers families a weekly routine to help them to
organize their days and weeks around practices like copywork, dictation,
nature study, movie viewing, teatime and poetry, Shakespeare and art
appreciation. The list functions as a calendar program which sends mes-
sages to remind you what to do each day. Additionally, once a week an
email is sent that helps you remember what step in the writing process to
take if you complete one writing project per month. You can find the list
at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bravewritermoms/ On the Brave
Writer website you will find pages that correspond to the reminder
emails that give complete details about how to lead the Brave Writer
Lifestyle.
Classes
Brave Writer has expanded its online class offerings and will contin-
ue to do so as we add staff and writing coaches. We offer classes on the
quarter system–fall, winter, spring and summer sessions. Classes last

between three and six weeks in length. Families travel, have sick relatives
to attend to, give birth to new babies, hustle off to sports competitions
and more. By keeping the courses to a manageable length, you have a
much better chance of finding a course whose schedule fits your own.
Courses are taught online in private folders on the discussion forums
portion of the Brave Writer website. Students register with the forum
creating a password protected user ID. Only myself, the registered stu-
dents and the writing coach have access to the class folder. During those
three to six weeks, the coach posts assignments, exercises and reading
material pertaining to the course. The student checks in daily to read
new postings. All students participate at their convenience since the
forums are asynchronous (which means that the courses are not “live”
and don’t depend on participants being online at the same time). Some
of the courses are aimed at parents (conversations happen between coach
and mother or father with writing being posted by mom or dad) and
others are conducted directly between teen and coach (these are our
classes aimed at junior and senior high students specifically). Please read
the descriptions of each class carefully to understand how that particular
class is operated.
The current class offerings include:
• Kidswrite Basic (the foundational course for BW)
• Just So Stories (creating your own Just So Story following
Rudyard Kipling’s model)
• Kidswrite Intermediate (transitional class for junior and
senior high students to prepare them for academic writing)
• Expository Essay (high school course)
• SAT/ACT Timed Essay Course (high school course)
• Passion for Fiction (junior and senior high)
• Creative Writing (teen version and adult version)
• Write for Fun (one for kids and another for adults!)
• Write Your Own Greek Myth (New!)
• Kidswrite Basic Empowered (Two part course for kids who
suffer from language processing disorders)
• High School Poetry
More classes will be added as we design and staff them.
Chapter One of The Writer’s Jungle gives you an outline for how to
manage your language arts program in addition to writing. I like
Charlotte Mason’s approach to copywork and dictation. In that vein, I
have created three language arts subscription programs to help the har-
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PREFACE
ried homeschool parent–The Arrow, The Boomerang and The

Slingshot. I supply you with great books to read and dictation/copywork
passages so that you don’t have to stand in the kitchen digging through
the current read-aloud at the last minute wondering if the passage you
picked is a “good one.” I do it for you, so you can relax and just teach the
passage to your child. I’ve also discovered through trial and error, that
dictation or copywork once a week is sufficient to create growth in the
mechanics of writing. So if you can’t get to it twice a week, don’t give up.
Once a week is a good place to start.
The Arrow, The Boomerang and The Slingshot provide you with a
nine month reading list (one age-appropriate novel per month), four dic-
tation passages per month from the featured book of the month, and
detailed grammar, punctuation and writing notes that pertain to the dic-
tation passages. The second half of each subscription focuses on a differ-
ent aspect of writing.
The Arrow (target audience: elementary and early junior high) fea-
tures a literary element each month. The element is defined and shown
in operation in novels and poetry. It also includes a writing exercise that
usually features that literary element. In some cases, the writing exercise
is unrelated to the element.
The Boomerang (target age is junior high-early high school reading
level) is new as of 2006-2007. A writing exercise, called a “think piece,”
will be included each month to help your maturing readers engage with
the material at a more thoughtful level (rather than blazing through the
book without time for reflection). Also, at this level, we will suggest the
practice of “golden lines.” The student selects a favorite line from the
book and gives a short description of why she chose that line and how it
relates either to the book or her own experiences in life or to another
story or similar situation. By year’s end, she will have at minimum nine
golden lines with accompanying writing or she may have up to 36 if she
chooses to do a Golden Line per week.
The Slingshot (target age is high school-college prep) features poet-
ry. Each issue offers one or two poems of the featured poet. The poetry is
explicated for poetic elements, a short biography of the poet is included
and a writing assignment follows that makes use of the themes or literary
techniques discovered in that month’s poems. We are happy to offer this
special resource created by our own Suzanne Barrett, MA poetry and lit-
erature.
Back issues of The Arrow and Slingshot are available for those who
want to scan our titles and purchase individual issues that correspond to a
novel you plan to read this year. Boomerang back issues will be available
as they are created and archived. Free samples of the Arrow and
Slingshot are on the website in our public forums.
In addition to The Slingshot, we also offer what we call the
Slingshot Companion. This subscription is a discussion group that
xii

focuses on the literature selected for the Slingshot itself. Each month,
Jon (my husband, MA American Literature, adjunct faculty at Xavier
University) leads a discussion based on the current month’s literature
selection. Students are not required to produce polished works of writing
but instead are engaged at the level of thoughtful critique and analysis of
the literature. This discussion group acts as a foundation for literary
analysis. Starting in the fall of 2006, we are adding a writing component
called The Slingshot Advanced for those students who wish to bring
their literary insights through the writing process to complete an essay of
literary analysis.
In order to evaluate your student’s writing skill level and to create a
year’s routine and program for your kids, we offer The Arrow and
Slingshot Evaluation and Planning Tools. These tools give you the
ability to think about your kids’ writing using the Brave Writer philoso-
phy to assess them and then to plan accordingly.
Help for High School is proving to be an excellent resource for high
school students. Instead of the usual drudgery that students associate
with academic writing, Help for High School is written to your teen using
examples from teen life while teaching writing principles. The opening
set of exercises focus first and foremost on powerful writing techniques as
well as developing rhetorical thinking skills. The second half of the book
introduces two essay formats: the exploratory essay and the argumenta-
tive expository essay. It’s available for purchase as a digital download so
that when you purchase it, it arrives instantly in your email inbox. You
print the chapters at home as you use them.
Literary Elements
Since its inception, Brave Writer has made one aspect of writing a
key priority that sets it apart from other writing curricula––our emphasis
on teaching literary elements. Good writing is not all grammar and orga-
nization, mechanics and structure. The best writing makes use of literary
techniques that enhance the quality of word choice, images, comparisons
and source material. These cannot only be appreciated in the writing of
great authors, but can be examined for the role they play in our own
writing.
Rather than stress structure in the early years, we emphasize a con-
scious appreciation of quality writing. The way Brave Writer conceives of
writing then looks something like this:
• Stimulate the imagination with quality works of literature
and non-fiction.
• Supply data that answers questions and whose answers pro-
voke new questions.
• Sustain engagement with the material over a period of time.
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PREFACE
• Savor the language and literary techniques of successful

writers.
While a young writer is becoming a competent reader and a comfortable

writer (meaning he or she is learning letter formation, how to write out
his or her thoughts without dumbing them down to fit a limited set of
writing skills), Brave Writer families read quality literature and pay
attention to the special skills the author uses to achieve success in writ-
ing.
In Chapter 10 of The Writer’s Jungle, I list ten of the top literary ele-
ments. There should have been one more element in that list and it
should be at the top of the list. This secret writing weapon remains
unnamed in most writing books that I’ve read, yet it’s the most frequent-
ly used literary element in entertaining and engaging writing and is the
key to keeping readers reading. That literary element is… drum roll
please… the element of surprise.
The element of surprise is the
The best writers surprise us over and over again. They surprise us not
unnamed and not talked about-
secret writing weapon, yet it’s only with plot twists and turns in novels (perhaps the vehicle most famil-
the most frequently used liter- iar to you), but they do so with word choice, sentence variety, analogies,
ary element in entertaining and the structure of the argument, style, choice of thesis statement and more.
engaging writing and is the key
The single most important element in writing, then, is surprise. Yet not
to keeping readers reading.
enough of us teach it. I hope to turn that around here.
Let me tell you a little story. Last year, I grew sick of political talk
radio. I felt like I had heard it all a hundred times. When I first listened
to AM political radio shows, I found them entertaining and stimulating.
But over time, they lost their power to hold my attention or evoke my
sympathy. I got bored. So I flipped the dial. Where did I land? On sports
talk radio. Sports! I don’t even watch pro sports (except for golf and a lit-
tle football). Yet I was captivated by sports shows. I found an entirely
new-to-me world. New metaphors, new ideas, new experiences, new
punch lines to jokes. I felt like an eavesdropper in the men’s locker room.
I started reading the sports page and online sports journalism to go with
my new radio habit.
Even without knowing the players or the teams themselves, I found
myself riveted to the writing. And that fascinated me. Why did I enjoy
sports writing when the content wasn’t my cup of tea? It was this. Sports
writers make use of the element of surprise better than almost any other
journalist. I want to examine why and how we can apply that insight to
our kids’ writing.
Sports writers are the ultimate in “rehash.” They write before a big
game rehashing previous games to bolster their predictions. Then they
write “after” the big games, rehashing what everyone already saw on TV.
In other words, there is no mystery in the content of their writing. They
are not revealing new ideas, reporting about unknowns, sharing personal
xiv

experiences or telling a story whose endings live only in their imagina-

tions.
On the contrary, sports writers must take an already finished, in-the-
can game, and revive it from the ashes of history to write about it the
next day for an audience that already knows the score and only has the
trash to take out. So what makes fans read the sports page religiously
when they already know who won and who lost and may have even
watched the game? It’s the element of surprise in the writing itself. The
sports writers enable the fans to relive their favorite wins (or the most
maddening losses) in such a way that the experience is rekindled freshly.
They analyze what went wrong or what went right, they compare one
star athlete with another, they make connections not readily apparent to
Joe-Sixpack. Their domain is to provide insightful analysis (surprising
analysis) to their readers.
There are several keys to surprising writing.
First, surprising writers make effective comparisons. An effective
comparison is one in which the analogy is designed to fit the audience’s
experience and appropriately corresponds to the original context.
Examples need to fit the audience. An example that in one context might
be taken as something to enjoy, in another context might mean boredom.
You’ve got to know your audience when selecting the right image.
Here’s an example from one of the sports writers I enjoy. What I love
about this example is the way in which the writer references a couple of
experiences some of us reading this manual might actually find entertain-
ing, yet he uses them to indicate the height of tedium. His audience is
male sports fans and he knows what makes them yawn. Take a look:
If you love watching sweat dry, C-SPAN and the 12-disc DVD
series on the history of Baroque Period painting, you'll love watch-
ing a replay of UCLA squeezing the Final Four life out of LSU
(Gene Wojciechowski, espn.com).
You don’t have to know a thing about basketball to realize that the
Bruins made such short work of the Tigers, the game could hardly be
called a nail-biter. Rather than saying so directly, the writer entertains the
reader by making unexpected comparisons that thrust us into the bore-
dom he experienced watching the game.
Watching sweat dry is a great comparison since it’s a part of most
sports; however, sweating is the least interesting aspect of a sporting
event. What makes the analogy of C-Span and Baroque Painting sur-
prising is that it’s located in a context not usually associated with sports.
If the analogy is fresh (not used often) and accurately describes the expe-
rience, you get surprise and oftentimes, humor. For instance, one of my
students compared the string on a yo-yo to a lasso wielded by a midget!
These are the kinds of comparisons that wake up the writing and bring it
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PREFACE
to life. Start by identifying the surprising comparisons you find in the

books you read with your kids and in the writing you read daily (maga-
zines, ads, newspapers, blogs). As you do, you’ll be more equipped to help
your kids unleash their own zany senses of humor.
Second, surprising writers draw on pop culture. There’s a reason
pop culture is “popular.” Popular in this case means “populist.” Lots and
lots of people are aware of what is mainstream in the culture. (I know
lots of us would rather not know so much – supermarket check-out
counter magazines about Jessica who and Britney what—blech.) Still,
pop culture is uniquely suited to the effective analogy because it appeals
to the widest base of collective experience. If I say that the judge at my
son’s 4-H cooking showdown was a Simon Cowell, you know that means
Jake’s judge with the surly expression is also hyper critical. Bam—incrim-
ination. Pop culture may not be the choice du jour for academic writing,
but it sure spices up the everyday kind.
Third, surprising writers use unfamiliar terms. A good vocabulary
is worth the effort. It’s not that a writer must include words like “ubiqui-
tous” and “loquacious” every other sentence. On the other hand, a few
less frequently used terms can spice up an otherwise dour piece of writ-
ing. Introducing new vocabulary and doing so in a way that the reader
learns the meaning of the term is a special treat for the reader. Usually
new vocabulary comes from a thorough immersion in a subject area (the
specific terminology of war, wardrobe, waterpark or world travel).
Naming the metal vest on a knight by its true name, mail, is one way to
heighten interest. One word of caution. Some kids use erudite language
they don’t yet understand and it hinders the overall power of the writing.
Or conversely, a well-read child will throw down overly sophisticated
language thinking that the writing carries a more mature tone as a result.
What we want to encourage is not the accumulation of multi-syllabic
words, but the development of a rich and textured vocabulary. Your child
will develop one as she reads a wide variety of quality literature including
poetry, as she watches TV and movies, as she listens to books on tape or
attends the theater. Encourage her to take risks in her writing and to not
be afraid to look up those words she loves but doesn’t quite know how to
use yet. Also, not all fresh words are “big words.” Sometimes the apt
word is epigrammatic (brief ).
Fourth, surprising writers choose an insightful or novel position.
The ability to write from a surprising or insightful place is developed
slowly over a lifetime of writing. Still, it’s the key to effective writing in
every context and develops first and foremost in an atmosphere of risk-
taking. Some of my moms ask me if I ever get tired of reading student
writing. Honestly, the only time I’m ever bored is when a student is
attempting to tell me what he thinks I want to hear. If a child or teen
stays true to his real perspective, to her experience, if the writer reveals a
complex of questions and answers and does so honestly holding on to
xvi

what he or she believes about it all, I love it (even in the muddle of

spelling and grammar mistakes).
To develop the ability to surprise, begin by telling the truth. Help for
High School and Kidswrite Intermediate make use of exercises that help
students become truth-telling writers. It’s here that insight is birthed and
fostered. When we speak the truth from a genuine place, it’s always
refreshing and often surprising.
Finally, surprising writers often leave the topic sentence to the end.
They don’t do this every time they put pen to paper, and this literary
technique is difficult to use in academic writing. That said, the opening
of a piece of writing benefits from delaying the topic sentence. Make me
experience the topic before you tell me what it is. Draw me in with Draw me in with action, dialog,
action, dialog, an observation, a bit of story, a famous quote or plunge me an observation, a bit of story, a
right into the heart of the issue. Save the statement that summarizes and famous quote or plunge me
right into the heart of the issue.
explains why you’re writing this paper to the end of that first paragraph, Save the statement that sum-
and you’ll have me for the rest of the paper. If you begin with a story, marizes and explains why you’re
leaving it unresolved at the start, and conclude it in the last paragraph writing this paper to the end of
(called “the hook and return”), you’ll have a better chance of engaging the that first paragraph, and you’ll
have me for the rest of the
reader and keeping them connected to your writing. paper.
Surprise in writing isn’t necessarily difficult to achieve, though it does
take some practice. I mention it so that as you read, you’ll pay attention
to what the writer does that draws you along. Then you’ll be able to help
identify these techniques in the reading you do with your children, and
you’ll also discover how to nurture those impulses in your children’s writ-
ing because you’ll recognize them for what they are. Kids typically stum-
ble upon surprise in writing because they aren’t hung up on getting it all
right and dreary for educators. When they make you laugh or cause you
to pause, celebrate. They’re on the right track.
More on revision
One of the most common questions I get via email is “What now?”
Moms are able to incorporate copywork, dictation, teatime, watching a
movie, reading poetry and freewriting into their routines. But when it Kids typically stumble upon
surprise in writing because they
comes to revision of one of those freewrites, panic sets in. Chapters 7-9 aren’t hung up on getting it all
of The Writer’s Jungle are devoted to this process. Unfortunately, I’ve right and dreary for educators.
noticed that the gentle hand-holding I’ve offered online goes from casual When they make you laugh or
swinging of our hands to a tightened grip as mothers think about how to cause you to pause, celebrate.
They’re on the right track.
revise their children’s writing. Freewriting is so pleasurable. Will they
now have to enter the rapids of critical analysis that brings about tears
and pain after so much cheerfulness? I understand the anxiety. I want to
relieve you of it.
You don’t have to change your tune and become “mean mommy” just
because it’s time to revise. There are two primary tricks I like to suggest
to moms who find themselves still a little shaky before embarking on the
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PREFACE
revision process. These will help you set up the conditions for a successful
revision experience.
First, when you shift from writing program to writing lifestyle, you’ll
encourage lots of freewriting and an even larger amount of meaningful
conversation. Conversation that benefits writing is the kind where mom
listens and kids talk. You’ll know you’re having one of those meaningful
conversations if you find yourself saying, “Is that so?” “Mmmm,” and
Freewriting is so pleasurable. “Tell me more.” Your child will race through the scenario explaining the
Will they now have to enter the experience with hands moving and arms flapping. These are good signs
rapids of critical analysis that that you’ve engaged her deeply about a topic. One-on-one time is a chal-
brings about tears and pain
after so much cheerfulness? I
lenge in most busy homeschooling households, but it’s critical to growth
understand the anxiety. I want in vocabulary that leads to good writing. And not everyone is adept at
to relieve you of it. drawing out more words from their kids, particularly if you have a shy or
non-verbal child. I’ve complied a list of ways to be with your kids one-
on-one to help you get in the habit of quality conversations in spite of
being the busy moms and dads that I know we all are.
...when you shift from writing • Rotate your children to the front seat of the car. Chat with
program to writing lifestyle, the front-seater.
you’ll encourage lots of
freewriting and an even larger • Go for walks with the dog and alternate who goes along.
amount of meaningful conver-
sation. • Stay up late or get up early with one of your kids on a regu-
lar basis.
• Involve one of them in making dinner and talk while chop
ping garlic.
• Fold laundry and chat.
• Sort clothes for the Goodwill with one child at a time.
One-on-one time is a challenge
in most busy homeschooling • Clip a newspaper or magazine article that would interest
households, but it’s critical to
growth in vocabulary that leads
one of your kids, leave it for him on his bed, and then dis
to good writing. cuss it later that day or week.
• Ask to listen to a favorite song or band’s music and discuss
lyrics.
• Play cards one-on-one.
• Treat your kids once in a while to café au lait at Barnes and
Noble. Browse books together. Converse.
• Work on the garden.
• Peel wallpaper.
• Paint walls.
xviii

• Shop yard sales.

• Play badminton.
Always take a child along or involve a kid. When you give your
attention to any one of your children, words will follow. Be interested
and attentive to those words. Writing comes from collecting and express-
ing what we know in language. Meaningful conversations are the most
critical component to a writing program. Through them, you help your
child search for language that communicates the interior vision or experi-
ence or knowledge that creates writing. Don’t assume that a child who
has read and experienced has sufficiently internalized the information to
write about it. Conversation enables a child to sort through the vague
ideas and to dig back into the material to gain mastery over the contents.
Your interest, questions and reactions serve as fine-tuning instruments to
help your child clarify meaning and content.
If you feel short on questions that lead to good discussion, perhaps a
few of these will get you jumpstarted.
• What made you interested in _________?
Always take a child along or
• How did you find out that? involve a kid. When you give
your attention to any one of
• What’s an example? your children, words will follow.
• Who else likes _________?
• How does that experience/interest help you today?
• If you could tell someone else how to X, who would you tell
and why?
• What does that remind you of? Conversation enables a child to
sort through the vague ideas
• What else do you want to know about _________? and to dig back into the materi-
al to gain mastery over the con-
• How long do you think it would take to learn _________?
tents. Your interest, questions
• What is your plan for _________? and reactions serve as fine-tun-
ing instruments to help your
• Is there a book or movie that deals with this topic? Which child clarify meaning and con-
tent.
one?
• Who are the experts in this field?
• Who do you look up to?
In addition to conversation, freewriting transforms oral language into

writing. Freewriting does not always yield the same amount of verbiage
that conversation does. However, freewriting (Chapter 4) is the means by
which your child becomes comfortable putting his or her thoughts on
xix

PREFACE
paper. As freewriting becomes enjoyable and not difficult, your child will
be ready to embark on the next phase of writing–revision. If your child
still experiences freewriting as challenging (finds it tough to write for five
minutes without stopping, is discouraged by the content he writes, hates
it), then it’s not time to move forward to revision. Rather, back off of
freewriting and go back to conversations and jotting down his thoughts
for him. These ideas make more sense if you read chapters 4-6. For those
kids who have been freewriting for a while without trauma, it’s time to
take one of those freewrites through the revision process. Here’s a short
program you can follow that will help you make the transition more
...freewriting transforms oral smoothly.
language into writing.
Eight-Week freewrite and revision
Pick a day of the week and freewrite once a week for eight weeks.
The Brave Writer Lifestyle schedule suggests Friday Freewrites (note
the alliterative powers of the “Fr”). Each time the child finishes a
freewrite, ask her if she’d like to read it to you. If she says no, thank her
for the freewrite and put it inside a manila envelope. Don’t read it. If she
says yes she’d like you to hear it, let her read it aloud to you. Don’t look
over her shoulder, or read it after she’s read it. Once you listen to the
freewrite, comment on what you liked. Find something to
compliment–the quality of the observations, the word choices, the
length, the insight or a great word combination, a telling description, a
surprising idea. Find at least one good thing to say about that freewrite.
If you truly can’t think of anything specific, comment on how thrilled
you are that she wrote the entire time and came up with so much to say.
Take the freewrite (without looking at it) and put it in the envelope.
Do this for eight weeks—freewrite on Friday and then put the fin-
ished freewrite in the envelope after your child decides whether or not to
read it to you. By the end of eight weeks, you will have eight freewrites
inside the envelope. On the ninth week, empty the envelope onto the
Once you listen to the kitchen table in front of the writing child. Compliment her on having
freewrite, comment on what written eight pieces of writing in only eight weeks! Then ask her to look
you liked. Find something to these freewrites over and pick one that particularly interested her. Let
compliment–the quality of the
observations, the word choices, your child know that she is going to revise and edit one of the
the length, the insight or a great freewrites—to expand it and turn it into a polished piece she can share
word combination, a telling with others.
description, a surprising idea. Explain–and this is key–what she will do with this freewrite because
Find at least one good thing to
say about that freewrite. sometimes just asking for a favorite can lead to a dead-end. Some kids
don’t want to revise their favorite freewrites because they like them the
way they are already written. What we are looking for isn’t a child’s
favorite freewrite necessarily, but the freewrite she would be most inter-
ested in revising. That means that the writer will likely choose a freewrite
that focuses on a topic that the child knows well but hasn’t yet explored
in enough depth. Once she has chosen a freewrite to revise, try the fol-
xx

lowing process. I strongly recommend reading Chapter 7 first and then

following these steps. If you’re having difficulty wading through the
chaotic seas of a freewrite where the middle seems to be the beginning
and there is no ending and you can’t figure out where “step two” is in the
instructions (if that is what the piece is trying to describe) I suggest a
revision methodology called the “Snip and Pin.”
Snip and pin revision What we are looking for isn’t a

Eudora Welty (famous American writer) explained in an interview child’s favorite freewrite neces-
with Vanity Fair that she came from the world of writing before comput- sarily, but the freewrite she
ers. Cutting and pasting were real practices for those who worked on would be most interested in
revising.
typewriters. Authors would pull the typed page out of the canister and
then grab a pair of scissors and cut the writing into sections and bits.
Welty would snip even a single word to move it from the end to the
beginning. To help her “see” the changes she was making, she’d post her
snipped writing to a bulletin board with pins. Then she’d move the parts
around with thumbtacks or pins. As she moved the bits, she rearranged
the writing into a new whole.
The act of physically moving the words and sentences around, and
seeing the story in various stages of organization and arrangement, is its
own creative act. We can’t always tell how the writing will feel when
rearranged until we mess it all up and rearrange it. This method appeals
especially to kids who are kinesthetic learners (as most of them are when
young) because the writing is already done. They get to physically handle
their words the way they assemble Legos. Instead of writing, they work
as sculptors, shaping the raw materials into a new form. They can see the
results as they build their writing from blocks or sentences rather than
filling a blank page with writing. And these changes are swift and easy to
evaluate.
Here’s how to do it. Mom (or competent typist child) types the select-
We can’t always tell how the
ed freewrite into the computer just as it’s written (mistakes and all).
writing will feel when
Triple space between each sentence—not between each line—to be sure rearranged until we mess it all
that you’ve got each individual sentence separated from each other one. up and rearrange it.
Once you have each sentence set apart, you will then print the whole
piece and cut up the sentences into individual strips.
Using the kitchen table or the floor or a bulletin board with pins,
together (parent and child) move the pieces around. If your child shows
confidence and energy, hang back and let him or her take the lead. If
your child appears hesitant, you can move the strips around a bit yourself
to give him or her an idea of how to do it and what can be done. Remind
your child that the freewrite is still on the computer and can be consulted
later if either of you wants to remember the original order. In the mean-
time, be outrageous and put the last sentence first. Move the middle to
the end. Mix up the order so that you can’t remember how it was origi-
nally written. Keep moving the pieces until a more satisfying, revised
xxi

PREFACE
order emerges. Throw away (literally ball them up and toss them in the
can) any sentences that don’t compel you to keep reading. Choose
between sentences that are similar in content. (Often in freewriting, a
writer will express an idea in a hurry and then will repeat the very same
idea with a slightly better word choice a little later in the same piece. It’s
as if the mind is warming up the idea and needs time to find higher
quality language to convey it.) So only keep the good sentence or com-
bine the good elements from two sentences to make a new whole.
Sometimes a poorly worded sentence contains the germ of an idea or
a fact that is critical to the whole even though you hate reading it. While
rearranging, don’t worry if you don’t like all the writing yet. Arrange first.
If you need to keep the poor writing in the piece as a place-holder until
you have rearranged, that’s fine. Once you’ve got an arrangement that
pleases you, rewrite the offending sentence on the spot, cut the new and
improved sentence out and replace the dud. Then reread the new whole
all together. Look for gaps in flow or information or missing steps.
Listen for clunky label words like “awesome,” “great,” “bad,” or “amaz-
ing.” Replace these with descriptions that show the reader what you want
him to conclude or feel rather than telling him.
Sometimes a poorly worded Usually after the “snip and pin,” gaps become obvious. This is where
sentence contains the germ of the principles of revision become critical. Revision (in Brave Writer phi-
an idea or a fact that is critical
to the whole even though you losophy) is giving new vision to the original piece of writing. We do this
hate reading it. While rearrang- using a practice called “Narrowing and Expansion” (Chapter 7). We nar-
ing, don’t worry if you don’t like row the focus to a specific part of the piece (to one small detail, one
all the writing yet. process, one unclear sentence, one vague image), and we then expand the
writing adding detail or mass to the original. While keeping that narrow
idea in mind, we then develop new sentences that dig a little deeper, that
clarify the matter, that enhance the reader’s experience. These sentences
can be written in freewrite style and added to the original using the same
“snip and pin” method. And as usual, revising can go on and on and on
and kids usually figure this out. So don’t overdo it. Together, pick perhaps
three critical points with expansion potential and focus on those.
Revision (in Brave Writer phi- You can always suggest your child rewrite the opening. It’s rare that
losophy) is giving new vision to anyone writes a good opening in a freewrite (the opening may be hiding
the original piece of writing.
in the middle of the freewrite, but it’s rarely at the beginning). Evaluate
the conclusion. It should be satisfying. It does not have to summarize.
Once you have rearranged the freewrite, once your child has expanded
three sections, has rewritten the opening and added a satisfying conclu-
sion, staple all of the strips of the original and the new additions onto
pieces of blank paper in the new correct order. Go back to the computer
and rearrange the originals on the computer to match the newly revised
piece. This will be easy to do as either you or your child can copy and
paste or drag the sentences to their new locations. Type in newly crafted
sentences.
xxii

All that’s left at that point is to print and edit. Once your child has a
clean copy of the revised version of the original freewrite, you can move
on to Chapter 8 (Machete Mechanics) and mop-up the mistakes in
spelling, grammar and punctuation. Then you’ll make those changes on
the computer and print the final draft. Then enjoy!
Principles that help you coach your reluctant writer

If revision is the time your child goes from cheerful child to cranky
kid, here are some tips for how to gingerly offer feedback as he learns to
trust you for writing advice. First, remember, you are your child’s writing
ally. Your job is to help your child find places to expand his writing so
that he gets to say more of what he already knows about his topic. You
want to stimulate his imagination, help him mine his memory for detail,
and support him as he takes writing risks. A writing risk is when he uses
a flowery word or a not-quite-accurate comparison, or when he wants
desperately to include a semi-colon but doesn’t know how so you manu-
facture a sentence that uses one just to try it out. The goal in brave writ-
ing isn’t perfection but courage. We are aiming for risk-taking in writing
because that is how we grow as writers.
Risk-taking requires trust. Trust is built by respectful interaction over
the writing your child shares with you. A while back, I had an email
from a mother who complained that her daughter was not receiving the
writing advice she was giving gently and with love. She was concerned
when her daughter became unglued over their discussion of her freewrite
after the mother had been complimentary and positive in her initial feed-
back. She’d done things “right,” so why was her daughter so oppositional?
Meltdowns over editorial input are familiar to all writers. Even pros can
become snippy and testy when an editor wants to change a title or dump
a chapter. We need to set up conditions in our families that make the
writer more amenable to editorial input.
Here are some suggestions.
First, kids need to know that they are the authors who have the final
say over their writing. Just because you, the parent, know that a change The goal in brave writing isn’t
would enhance the piece doesn’t mean that it should be made. The writer perfection but courage.
must know that she is evaluating the input and making a judgment about
it, not that she is victim to the changes a power figure requires her to
make. See the difference? So we offer the comment like this: “Hmmm. It
seems to me that the word amazing isn’t as clear as the rest of this title.
What do you think?”
Or a parent might say, “Are you interested in hearing any feedback
about the title? I have an idea that might make it pop to life, but want to We need to set up conditions in
be sure you are interested before I suggest it.” our families that make the
By respecting the daughter’s authority over her original writing, it writer more amenable to editor-
ial input.
becomes easier for her to either hear a parent’s input or to admit that she
doesn’t want to hear you. In either case, you have a win-win. You develop
xxiii

PREFACE
trust. Trust can only grow when any answer is acceptable, even if it’s one
that is not preferred. Eventually, when trust is built, she will want to hear
you and perhaps over time, will even take your suggestions as welcome.
Second, your positive feedback can’t be seen as “buttering up” before
delivering the “real feedback” which will then be critical. Be specific and
leave some space between affirmation and constructive critique. (Like
lunch or a couple of days.) Let the positive have its impact before offer-
ing critique.
Third, remember that your feedback makes an impact even when she
doesn’t take your advice. For instance, when a mom points out that the
word “amazing” wasn’t that specific, the daughter/writer may choose not
to make the change in this piece. However, you can bet that the next
time she writes the word “amazing” she’ll remember the discussion about
it and may at that time “self-edit” and choose a better word for the new
paper. Writing growth occurs over many pieces of writing, not all at once
in the current piece.
Fourth, not every piece of writing needs to be improved. You can ask
if this is one she wants to work on or if she is happy with it as is. If she
never wants to revise a paper, you can suggest the following. “Mary, let’s
collect four of your papers and pick one to revise. You choose.” Once she
has a piece to revise, share the revision principles with her. Tell her the
idea about snipping and pinning, ask her to consider writing a new open-
ing, explain to her the power of changing “label” words into detailed
descriptions. If you give her the principles of revision, she will be able to
take the first stab at improving her piece. Let her know that you would
love to hear her ideas for revision before you offer yours. Then say to her,
Not every piece of writing “If you need some ideas for how to revise, I can help. Just let me know.”
needs to be improved. You can By giving her some control over the whole process, she is helped to see
ask if this is one she wants to the value of revision and the value of a second pair of eyes.
work on or if she is happy with
it as is.
Finally, don’t worry if it appears that she is resistant to feedback for a
long time. It takes time to build trust between writer and editor. If she
senses that you are consistently on her side, that you affirm what works
well and that the feedback you offer is for her consideration, not as a
command, she will come to trust your input. If the feedback you give
that she takes results in a wonderful change that makes the writing
spring to life, she will be likely to ask for your input the next time, rather
than being suspicious of it. If you find you are in a long-term power
struggle, triangle in someone else. Take an online class with a writing
coach. Sometimes that third person does the trick in reversing a pattern
between you.
The purpose of the eight-week freewrite model is to remind you and
your child that not every piece of writing deserves to be or needs to be
rewritten. Some first drafts accomplish their purpose merely by having
been written. Others just aren’t good enough, interesting enough or
important enough to rewrite. Always give your writers room to reject
xxiv

rewriting a specific piece. On the other hand, training in how to revise is

critical to growth as a writer. By letting your child know that he will
revise some of his writing but not all, he gets to express his preference for
which piece he’d like to work on rather than dreading the prospect of
writing, knowing that every single draft must be brought through the
lengthy revision process.
When you and your child have revised a piece of writing (it should
take about two weeks of work done twice or three times per week), it’s
time to celebrate. Don’t forget to reward the hard work by sharing the
finished piece with readers. Take a break from writing and then start the
cycle all over again.
Two brave writing exercises

The purpose of the eight-week
freewrite model is to remind
We’ve had loads of fun online with the following two exercises. I you and your child that not
want to share them here so that you have them at your fingertips. When every piece of writing deserves
the grammar goblins haunt you for not focusing on grammar enough, to be or needs to be rewritten.
pull out the “Jabberwocky” exercise. When you feel like everyone has run
out of new words, turn to “Scrounged Poetry” for relief.
Jabberwocky! (by Lewis Carroll)

The following exercise helps kids get into language, what it does,
why it works. They discover parts of speech, the role of definitions, how
sound influences how we understand meaning and more. (In other
words, this is a specially designed shamelessly subversive attempt to teach
grammar painlessly.)
Use the internet to find “Jabberwocky” on the web. I suggest printing
it out. Read it aloud, and as you read, notice the nonsense words
throughout. Let your voice act out the words as you say them. How did
you know that "frumious" might indicate formidable opponent? What
might "frabjous" mean? (Your kids will love reading it aloud too, so
encourage them to take turns.)
Ask one of your children to color highlight each of the nonsense
words so they stand out. Talk about the poem and the story it tells. Do
you all agree on the story line? Does anyone have a different viewpoint?
Can you support your view of the story with lines from the poem?
Discuss the opening stanza and how it repeats at the end. Even though
it’s made up of words we don't understand, how does starting and ending
with the same stanza create a frame for the story?
After you've all read the poem a few times and have talked about it,
your task is to take each of the nonsense words and write definitions for
them. Grab a dictionary and follow the format offered in the dictionary
itself (you'll want the part of speech and at least one definition—pronun-
ciation is not required). If you can see more than one definition in the
usage in the poem, then feel free to offer two definitions. Sometimes the
word can also be two different parts of speech depending on the way the
xxv

PREFACE
line is inflected. Is the nonsense word a verb or an adjective? Try both

and see how the meaning shifts.
Once you identify what part of speech the word is, ask yourself: How
did I know? What clues tell me what part of speech the word is? Can
some words function as verb or adjective or noun equally well in the con-
text? How do you decide which one to choose for your understanding of
the poem?
In addition to a definition of meaning, use the nonsense words in
new sentences of your own making. Read your sentences to each other.
Do they make sense? Can you combine words (from the poem) into
longer sentences? For instance, can you use “frabjous” and “frumious” in a
sentence together?
Once you’ve made a mini dictionary, it’s time to write your own
poem using your new lexicon of terms. Write a three stanza rhyming
poem that includes some of these new words.
Here are some helpful hints.
• Conceive a setting Where will your poem story take place?
Use some of the descriptive words to create that feel.
• Choose a primary character This can be the Jabberwock or
it can be a slithy tove or a mome rath or a bandersnatch or
whatever else you desire. Use one of the characters from the
Jabberwocky poem. You are free to redefine the nature of
that character to suit your storyline.
• Choose a conflict What story do you want to tell? Is it
about how the main character got the sword, escaped the
Jabberwock, hid in the woods, and danced on the grave of
an enemy? Pick a narrow event (the original poem
“Jabberwocky” leads us to the event of cutting off a head).
Then develop it briefly in a short poem.
You can write a longer poem if you need to, but three stanzas are plenty.
To keep the rhythm correct, slap your hand on your leg for every other
beat. That will mean that the first beat, no hand slap, but the second beat
will have a hand slap. This helps you to feel the rhythm and to “get it
right.”
Once you’ve written your poems, feel free to add illustrations that
illuminate the setting and look of your characters. A comic strip shape
allows you to include a pair of lines with one action, followed by the next
pair of lines and another picture. Share your final versions with friends.
Scrounged poetry
Some of you may have heard of “found poetry.” I’ve designed a vari-
ant version: “Scrounged Poetry.” Share these instructions with your chil-
xxvi

dren. Begin by collecting words from all the crazy places they exist. You’ll
want to cut out words from magazines, catalogs, brochures, copy them
from books, jot them down when you hear them in a movie. I personally
like to gather the majority from magazine ads and mail order clothing
catalogs. These work well because they are published in large fonts and
usually contain great words for colors and shapes. Be sure to choose verbs
as well as adjectives, articles and adverbs. And you’ll want a solid number
of nouns—mundane and unusual.
Glue these to small notecards (one word per card). Keep them
together. These notecard words are called word tickets (which comes
from the book Poem Crazy by Susan Wooldridge). Collect words over the
course of a week. Using your word tickets, let’s see what kind of poetry
we can write.
This project works best as a team effort with all the kids and mom
working together.
Choose several art prints or photographs or advertisements.
Pictures from catalogs/magazines, photography books and/or art
books work well. Clip the picture out if possible so you can hold the pic-
ture in your hand. If you have to leave it in a book, simply keep the pages
open so that what you look at is in as flat a format as possible (undis-
tracted by text or other pictures on the same page).
Bring your pictures to the table.
Look at the pictures for a little while silently (maybe five minutes).
Choose one. No criteria. Just choose the one you like best, or the one you
find most disturbing, or the one that pleases you, or makes you laugh or
repels you. (If it becomes difficult to work on one photo for everyone, let
each child choose a picture. That will mean working on multiple poems
and you may want to do them one at a time.)
Look at it intently.
Don’t consciously try to think of moods or words or ideas. Simply
enjoy noticing details. Say these outloud. Look in the corners, look at the
small items and big things, notice the lines, the edges, the shapes and
shadows, where the light falls. Ask your kids questions. What are the col-
ors? Can you name them? Ask yourself what is happening in the picture.
Is there a story? Is there an event? Who is looking at whom? What is the
sky doing? What is the sun doing? What mood is created in you as you
look at your picture? What memories are evoked?
Let each person hold the picture and have time to look at it without
any extra comments. When you’ve looked quietly at your painting or pic-
ture for five or more minutes, lay the photo down and then, spread the
words out on the table.
Immediately begin to arrange them in a variety of sequences. Free
your words from a specific order by moving them around. Don’t get
locked in. Just look for words that go with the picture and group these
xxvii

PREFACE
together in any order. Resist the temptation to think of new words. Use
the ones in your collection. Force them to fit the image in new ways.
You’ll use these words, images and ideas in your poem that is inspired by
the picture.
The following is a list of the kinds of words you’ll want to select to
help you write your poem.
• Mood (emotion the picture evokes–loneliness, anger, joy,
peace, confusion)
• Tone (the overall feel of the picture–uplifting, disturbing,
reflective)
• Color
• Setting
• Time
• Nice sounding words
• Names of things, people or places
• Associations (comparisons between what you see and what it
reminds you of or the other way around–starting with an idea
or image and finding how it relates to the picture). Your
poem may not have all of these, but having this list helps you
to gather a variety.
• Layer your poem with word choices and avoid adding too
many words that aren’t on your lists. Control your poem by
restricting the word sources. See if you can manage to fit
your words to the poem. It might mean rearranging your
words several times. Don’t get locked into one order in the
beginning. Deliberately move them around and read them
out in different arrangements to hear how they sound.
To help give your poem structure, I’ve set a few “rules” to free you to
create without worry that you’re “doing it wrong.” If you’re the kind of
writer that hates any rules of any kind, please ignore my advice and fol-
low the muse where she leads you.
• Keep your poem to less than twelve lines. It should be at
least four lines minimum. Write your verses in either pairs
(two lines per verse) or fours (four lines per verse).
• Don’t rhyme it.
• Don’t use punctuation or capitals.
xxviii

• Stick to the words you’ve collected instead of adding words

that occur to you as you create your poem. You can add single
words that help tie your words to specific images in the pic-
ture, if you need to.
The following is a poem I wrote using my word tickets based on the

painting “Starry Night” by Van Gogh:
personality’s dream
hapless family of stars
a prayer
defies nature
rings of yellow
emits bright blue
easing pain
a foolproof formula
enormous and complex

endless
These are all words from my collection except for “of stars” and “of
yellow.” I added these selectively to help tie my word choices into the feel
of the painting. Create your poem as a family project so that everyone’s
contributions are valued and included. Or write your own individual
poems and share them with each other. Remember this process for times
when you hit writer’s block. You can hunt for words as a break from writ-
ing to help stimulate the writing process. Finding words in other places
is such a relief. It frees you to create.
Final notes
Brave Writer is always growing and changing. I love input. so please
let me know what helps you get the job done. I’ve taken suggestions for
courses, book titles, and resources from our community of Brave Writer
families. Please keep in touch.
xxix

PREFACE
xxx

Table of Contents
Preface vii
A Big Thanks To... xxxiii
Dedication xxxv
How to Use This Course xxxvii
Introduction xxxix
Chapter 1 The Big Language Arts River 1

Narration, Reading Aloud, Copywork and Dictation
Chapter 2 Communication Gear 17

The Role of Communication in the Art of Writing
The Communication Game
Chapter 3 The Sights Along the Way 27

Entering the “Land of Alive Writing”
The Keen Observation Exercise
Chapter 4 Essentials for the Trip 43

The Writing Compass
Freewriting Exercise
Chapter 5 Mom’s Survival Kit 57

Rescuing Reluctant Writers
Writer’s Block and Bad Assignments
Chapter 6 The Topic Funnel 67

Topic Funnel Exercise
Chapter 7 Hacking Through the Underbrush 81

Revising: Narrowing the Focus
Expanding the Writing
Chapter 8 Machete Mechanics 99

Editing Made Easy
xxxi

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 9 Finding Readers 111

Publishing the Final Draft
Chapter 10 A Voice Cried in the Jungle 117

Understanding and Encouraging Writer’s Voice
The Top Ten Writing Elements
Chapter 11 Dumb Assignments 127

Choosing Writing Assignments that Work
Chapter 12 Field Guide to Word Identification 135

Word Games to Increase Vocabulary
PEN: Acrostic for Word Choices in Writing
Chapter 13 Out of the Jungle, Into the Real World 145

Writing Across the Curriculum
Journal Writing
Chapter 14 Growing a Writer 151

The Natural Stages of Growth in Writing
Chapter 15 The Dreaded Elementary Report 173

Report Writing and Book Reports
Chapter 16 The Heart of Writing 183

Why We Do What We Do
Chapter 17 A Challenge for Moms 185

A Personal Trainer Reading List
Appendix 1 Sample Language Arts Schedules 193
Appendix 2 Frequently Asked Questions 207
xxxii

A Big Thanks to...
very pop star and author has a page of thank yous. I’m no different.
E I wouldn’t have a writing course if it weren’t for the gentle nudging
of Glenda Harris and the unwavering enthusiasm of Lori Morani back
in Anaheim, California. I’m especially thankful for the input of my
“Guinea Pigs” who read the first draft of this book and tested these exer-
cises on their own kids much the way recipe testers foist new dishes on
their families.
Several dear friends have given me endless hours of feedback and
support: Cindy Clark, Toni Kraft, Paula Horton, Myra Roller, Lisa
McAfee, Jeannette Frantz, Eve Vines, Lisa Scoggins, Susie Barrett and
especially, Sherri Bannister. I’m also grateful for the Charlotte Mason
Support group leadership team in Dayton Ohio. And I thank Barb
Drees and the Learning Tree Co-op for giving me a forum to explore
these ideas.
I thank Rachel Boyer for jumping on board and becoming the first
Brave Writer Instructor. I’m also grateful for Rachel Ramer’s sharp edi-
torial eye.
One person I haven’t met has made a significant contribution to my
thinking and this volume: Peter Elbow. I recommend all of his books to
the serious writing student.
It’s been a rare privilege to be included in the lives of my student
families from all over the world, thanks to the Internet. Their questions
and children’s writings have taught me much about writing and even
more about the power of the mother-child relationship. Without them,
there would be no written course. Thank you.
Thanks to my kids for letting me share their writing with the home-
schooling world.
I’m especially grateful for my mother, Karen O’Connor. My mom’s
license plate says, “Wordy.” She’s the original word-lover of our family.
As an author of fifty-three books and having been a stay-at-home mom,
she was my first writing teacher.
My biggest thanks goes to my tireless editor, stopgap art director,
and number one fan, my husband, Jon. Our middle-of-the-night conver-
sations coupled with his expertise in teaching writing at the college level
has added immeasurably to my skill as a teacher and writer. Thanks,
honey, for reminding me over and over again that “there will be a course
at the end of all this.”
xxxiii

xxxiv
Dedication
I dedicate this course to the many beleaguered and exhausted moth-
ers who feel that teaching writing is beyond their reach. My prayer and
wish for you is that in this volume you’ll find hope, encouragement and
new resolve to be your children’s most passionate fans as you lead them
into expressing themselves on paper.
xxxv

xxxvi
How to Use this Course
his course is for you, homeschooling parents. I seek your conversion
T to a new way of thinking—I want to transform your understanding
of the writing process as well as give you new eyes to see what wonderful
minds your kids have.
The chapters are written in a graduated sequence. There’s an exercise
at the end of most of them. After you’ve read the chapter (and not
before), do the exercise first by yourself (if you can) and then with your
kids. You’ll have far greater success teaching these principles if you’ve
tried them first yourself. And trust me; they’re fun! No drudgery in this
course.
Don’t hand this notebook to your kids (and then beat them up for
not following it). I want to hold your hand through the bumps, twists
and turns of writing with your children, first. Then you, in turn, will hold
their hands. Deal?
The exercises are followed by work samples of students from my
online classes. These give you an idea of what a completed exercise looks
like. Sometimes I include my comments on the originals so that you can
see what I see in a writing project. Your kids’ products will vary signifi-
cantly so don’t be surprised by that. Just want to help some of you con-
crete moms to know what to look for in general.
Margin Notes. The margin notes come from some of my favorite
journeymen writers, instructors, and authors. I also quote many of my
students (moms) and their kids so that you can identify with families just
like yours. These are samples of exercises, comments, and insights into
the writing process and more. Enjoy.
Appendix. For mothers who like to see a year-at-a-glance, I’ve
included language arts schedules for four different grade brackets. These
are not meant to be rigidly applied but rather, are a way for you to see
how to integrate the various practices I encourage in this manual. There
is also an FAQ in Appendix II which gives a quick overview of the prin-
ciples in this course.
One last thing. The Writer’s Jungle comes in a three ring binder so
that you may add other Brave Writer materials that you print from the
website or blog. Those who purchase Help for High School may print it
and keep it in this notebook, as well.
xxxvii

HOW TO USE THIS COURSE
If you take an online course from Brave Writer, the three-ring binder
gives you enough space to store your printed notes. You can print out and
store the instructor’s feedback right with your child’s work instead of in
little nooks and crannies in your house.
The notebook format allows this course to lie open on your kitchen
table when you teach writing. The Writer’s Jungle isn’t a book to be read
and shelved. It’s a resource to support you as you work with your kids.
Take out pages, rearrange them, highlight the exercises, jot notes in the
margins. Do what it takes to use the course and revisit it over and over
again. The biggest reason most of us don’t make progress in teaching
writing is that we don’t have a friend sitting by to help. I want this course
to be that friend. So keep it open.
Brave Writer. When I first set out to teach writing, I quickly real-
ized that the missing link in most programs is accessibility to the creator
of the manual. Who would help you to implement their exercises? Would
the author know how to teach your unique child? I resisted writing a
course because I was so tired of seeing writing programs sit unused on
the shelves of homeschooling families.
That’s when I realized that the Internet provided a way for me to
connect to my students. By teaching classes online, I’ve made myself
available to help mothers as they write with their kids. We’ve added
teachers every year to accommodate the increase in student volume. So
check out our offerings! Even if you can’t participate in the courses, the
website has a question and answer forum where you can write to me or
one of the other staff members about your writing problems. We’ll post
replies that will send you back on your writing way. (Or for private mat-
ters, you can always email me at julie@bravewriter.com)
I’m based in Cincinnati, Ohio, have spoken at CHEO, CHEK and
various homeschooling events. I’ve run workshops in other cities when
invited. I’m available on a limited basis for speaking engagements further
from home (especially the Bahamas, Hawaii, Rome, Paris and Bora,
Bora, Tahiti). Email me at: julie@bravewriter.com
Well, let’s get to it. Grab a chocolate bar and turn the page. (I prefer
Swiss chocolate, thanks).
xxxviii

Introduction
There is no royal path to good writing; and such paths as exist do

not lead through neat critical gardens, various as they are, but
through the jungles of self, the world, and of craft.
—Jessamyn West
never set out to write a writing curriculum. This whole shebang start-
I ed when a friend conned me into teaching a Sunday school class for
homeschooling moms desperate for help in writing. I hesitated. Just
because I worked in the field of writing and editing (wrote articles, I can’t do it. I can’t; I can’t; I
worked as an editor, helped struggling Doctorate of Ministry students can’t. It’s too hard. I need to
send him to school. Why am I
with their dissertations and had ghost written a few books) didn’t mean I even attempting this?
knew the first thing about the educational philosophy of teaching kids to
—Karla
write.
My kids were writing, but I had never used anyone’s writing manu-
als. I just taught them the way I’d learned to do my jobs. For one of
them, my style of teaching worked great. For the older one, I found
myself inventing new ideas on the fly—regularly—to keep his pen wet
and his pages full of words. He thought writing itself a cranky and irri-
tating process. Man-o-living, how many times,
or how many different ways can
So I showed up for that first class of fifteen and within an hour dis- we approach this material for
covered something that rocked me back on my heels. The principles I him to get it? I want to move
taught were brand new to the moms in the room. I wasn’t repeating onto the meat and we’re stuck
information from their various and sundry manuals. None of them had on the mechanics.
heard many of the ideas I suggested. In fact, it’s become common since —Martina
that day for mothers to tell me that what I teach has transformed how
they themselves write.
xxxix

INTRODUCTION
Whenever I start a class, I like to find out what the trouble is.
Mothers eagerly tell me their writing woes. I include some of their com-
ments here. See if any of these moms speaks for you.
I have a fear of the written
word. Once thoughts are down “The hardest thing about teaching my kids to write is that they hate it.
on paper, they take on a life so I know they don't have to like all aspects of school, but they hate this
that I can then be held to what one like nothing else. It’s hard to teach because they dread it so. I
I say or compared with what don’t feel confident about it either so I also dread it somewhat. I never
I’ve said. Since I do not feel know what to have them write, what their level should be, how to
freedom myself, I, ironically, grade it... so many variables.”
“One of the greatest struggles I’ve encountered in teaching writing to
digress to legalism in my teach-
Kristen is her lack of cooperation. She responds negatively to any

ing approach. Randy, 13, has
writing assignment I give her. I have tried several curriculums,

been slimed the most by my
Easywriting, Writing Strands, Wordsmith, EZ-Writer. No matter what I

methods.
tried, she was disinterested and all I could get out of her would be
—Terry
short, brief sentences and paragraphs. Outside of a school assign-
ment, she would spend hours writing plays and stories on the comput-
In my best attempts to teach
er using Storybook Weaver and American Girl Premiere.”

my children ‘everything they
need to become proficient writ-
“My greatest struggle in teaching writing is the discipline of actually

ers and successful communica-
doing it. I lack confidence and motivation to plow through yet another
tors’ I’m afraid I have squelched
book on teaching or inspiring the child to write readable, enjoyable,

their desire to even put pen to
grammatically correct, informative, intelligent writing material. I know it

paper.
—Lisa
can be done, but how to do it? I’m a little embarrassed at how slow
In college, my experience of we are in our writing skills.”
writing was the experience of
being knocked down, but then I could go on for pages with comments similar to these by real moth-
stubbornly picking myself up, ers. What is it about writing that is so challenging? Why can’t kids learn
dusting myself off, and finally
succeeding. On my third essay
to write the way they learned to speak… naturally, over time, with little
for freshman English, my obvious effort and lots of satisfying success at the end of it? I had to fig-
teacher wrote, “Mr. Elbow, you ure out why these writing programs weren’t working.
continue your far from head- So I read some of those other courses homeschooling moms use.
long rise upward”— and the
grade was D. The teachers I
Immediately, I saw the big divide between what I’ve learned from profes-
met in 1953 at Williams sional writers and what the educational world teaches about writing.
College were sophisticated and Educators approach writing as a school subject. They dissect writing
I was naïve. …Since that time products and then work backward to create exercises that are supposed to
in my life, I’ve reflected on a
curious fact: If you can’t write,
help kids reproduce that kind of writing. Ironically, this approach to
you can’t be a student. But the writing virtually snuffs out the creative impulse and the personal expres-
inability to write doesn’t get in sion so critical to quality writing. Many a student has been awarded an
the way of teaching at all. “A” for bad writing (that is stiff, lifeless, contrived writing) simply by ful-
—Peter Elbow filling the right requirements for the exercise.
Everyone Can Write Then it hit me: I don’t take piano from a piano maker. Why would I
learn writing from an educator? When I want to learn more about writ-
ing, I don’t turn to educators. I consult books written by professionals
who get paid for their writing. They focus on a different list of essentials:
a writer’s voice, the power of personal experience, telling the true truth,
becoming an observant person, playing with language, finding a unique
angle for the topic… Professional writers want the product not to merely
xl

match a list of expectations but to be a compelling read. .

Don’t get me wrong. Educators aren’t bad people or even wrong
about all they teach. There are many teachers who’ve caught on to the
Teaching my children to
essence of writing as practiced by authors. And I’ve learned about writing write…well, I own Writing
from some of those wonderful teachers. However, something was missing Strands, Understanding Writing,
in most of those educator-generated manuals I read: the connection Comprehensive Composition, If
You’re Trying to Teach Your Kids
between the original, spontaneous, genuine, inspired thinking of unique
to Write, You Gotta Have this
human beings (our kids) and the “how to’s” of writing. When teachers Book, Any Child Can Write,
focus on writing forms, writing is stripped of its guts and organic power. Wordsmith, Wordsmith
The results? Blank paper, or stiff, lifeless words that fit into writing-form Apprentice, and Institute for
Excellence in Writing. I have
straight jackets. Blech.
read a myriad of ‘how-to’ books.
Writing is an art that draws on the powers of thinking, imagination, But my children have written
craft and passion. Think about getting all of those competing forces in little over the years… Writing
your mind to work together and you have a recipe for both inadequacy brings with it a gnawing, heavy
feeling like paying bills when
and paralysis, or wonder and inspiration.
there isn’t enough money in the
The challenge is to teach this complex tangle of creativity and craft checking account.
to your kids with the “blank stare” syndrome… but, I’m getting ahead of
—Cindy
myself.
The best-kept secret in homeschooling families is how little writing
instruction ever happens. You wouldn’t know it by the numbers of writ-
ing manuals and courses on their already sagging bookshelves. You
wouldn’t know it by the number of websites and workshops devoted to
writing instruction.
When I meet mothers in my classes, they sidle up to me in trench
coats and big hairy mustaches. They whisper behind their cocked fedo-
ras, “Psst. Don’t tell anyone. I don’t teach writing. I’ve given up.” No Teaching writing is like trying
matter how many books you have about writing there’s a chapter missing to fish without a fishing pole.
in every one of them: How to get a kid to move his pencil across a page. —Lisa
Everything rests on this foundation and no one addresses it.
Six well-known writing principles

Have you ever encountered any of these in your writing manuals?
1. In order to write well, kids need to master the mechanics first.
2. Writers write every day.
3. Creative writing assignments that have imaginative topics elicit
the best writing.
4. Writing is taught by starting with the word, then moving on to the
Writing is easy. All you do is sit
sentence, then the paragraph, and then the report followed by the
staring at a blank sheet of paper
essay, and so on.

until the drops of blood form
on your forehead.
5. Know your audience before you start. —Gene Fowler
6. Kids who dislike writing need to write more in order to become

comfortable with it.
xli

KIDSWRITE COMMENTS
These sound like good principles. So why don’t they work? Why do
kids hate writing and mothers hate teaching it? Why is writing curricu-
lum the most popular topic at homeschooling conventions? Because the
Be warned, my children, against
anything more than these. educational approach to writing is built on myths. All six of the princi-
People never stop writing ples I shared above are just that: myths.
books. Too much studying will Instead of looking to teachers, let’s ask the pros for help. They offer
wear out your body. it in ways school can’t.
At my house...
Ecclesiastes 12:12
I have five kids. Three of them are old enough to write. But I’d be
The Pros who’ve helped me less than honest if I led you to believe that we haven’t struggled, too. One
On Writing Well, Writing to
of my home-educated angels came up with these really new complaints
Learn about writing: “Why do I have to write about that?” “Can’t I just write
—William Zinsser three lines?” “I can’t think of anything to say, Mom. I mean it.” And my
favorite “My hand is cramping up. My stomach kills. And I have a huge
Bird by Bird headache. Can’t you just write it for me?”
—Anne Lamott My daughter, who loves to write, made me cringe when I actually
tried to decode her spelling and punctuation. Between the two of them,
Writing Down the Bones
they used insipid words like “nice” and “good” when describing President
—Natalie Goldberg Lincoln; they wrote run-on sentences and made ‘d’s that looked like ‘b’s.
They drew tiny pictures of skateboards, suns and doodles along the edges
Writing with Power, Everyone of empty sheets of paper and worst of all, one of them threatened to
Can Write, Writing Without throw up if made to write even one more sentence.
Teachers I had to find out what was corking their otherwise prolific commen-
—Peter Elbow
tary on life and the things they learn. Certainly my kids have no trouble
communicating what they care about while I’m talking to a friend on the
The Allyn and Bacon Guide to phone. Hel-loooo! Suddenly the floodgates of self-expression are com-
Writing pletely unleashed. Words and sentences galore.
Simply put, however, they wouldn’t allow their energetic minds to be
Essays by Amy Tan, Eudora controlled by a hand, a pen and a piece of paper. (And a mother!)
Welty, Annie Dillard, Dorothy So what’s a mom to do? In my case, I examined my writing process. I
Sayers pulled out my books that teach writers how to write. And I got on with
teaching my kids to write the way I wanted to learn. We still have our
Home Education days when they don’t respond to my assignments with sunny disposi-
—Charlotte Mason tions, but when I take the time to teach them to write the way I want to
learn, we have satisfying writing experiences that leave me fulfilled as a
The Right to Write
mom, home educator and writer. I want that for you too. And I want it
—Jill Cameron for our kids.
It’s a jungle in there

The Elements of Style This course is for you, the homeschooling mother. Instead of sending
—Strunk and White you down the Congo River alone to figure out how to hack your way
through the writer’s jungle, let me be your guide. My hope is that in
You Can Teach Your Child these pages you’ll find some new routes to the land of Alive Writing.
Successfully We’ll go together. Sometimes the trails are clearly marked and you’ll
—Ruth Beechik
xlii

make lots of progress with your kids. Other times, a machete is about all
that will get you through the tangled spots. But instead of telling you to
“go to the other side,” this course is about walking there with you hand-
You’ll be happy to know that
in-hand. my daughter wrote a beautiful
The Writer’s Jungle will teach you something about the nature of the piece today about when our
writer’s jungle—where the swamps are, how to perform rescue operations puppy died. It was so touching
I cried as I read it.
for kids who are knee deep in the quick sand of resistance, what the aca-
demic writing trails look like and how to travel through them. It will Thanks to you I’m able to see
her writing in a whole new
offer you an “X” marks-the-spot kind of reference so you’ll know when
light—the light of a 10-year-
you’ve arrived at the desired destination: a kid who writes freely and well old’s world. Thanks again!
for his age.
—Kerri
Jungles are unfriendly places. But they’re also beautiful, and wild, and
exhilarating. Maps are of little value to the gringo who visits them.
Visitors need guides, not maps. Guides know how to get along in the
jungle not just how to get through it.
Your writer’s jungle is also a wild place. But I promise you: it’s alive
and beautiful, too. It’s the landscape of your child’s mind and heart. Our
job is to stop and notice the sights along the way; to uncover the tiny iris
lost under the pile of bad punctuation.
It’s my hope that you’ll come to love your young writer and his par-
ticular jungle in a whole new way. By traveling together, I want to point
out the irises you’ve been missing. There’s a world of insight, creativity
and passion in your children that writing is meant to capture. By taking
some new trails, I hope to lead you to that secret place.
Pull on your boots. Let’s go. I’ve got a compass in hand. And you
don’t have to travel alone.
xliii

KIDSWRITE COMMENTS
xliv

Chapter 1
The Big Language Arts River

Narration, Reading Aloud, Copywork, and Dictation
efore we get going with the nuts and bolts of how to send those
B pencils flying across the page, it’s time to get a little wet. No jungle
sits next to a babbling brook or splashing creek. Big rivers supply jungles
with the water they need. Really big rivers.
After I finished my college degree, I spent a summer in former Zaire
on the Congo River. I’ll never forget the first time I saw that big river.
We’d been in the main city, Kinshasa. Our little team traveled to the out- There is an art of reading, as
skirts of town for our first overnight stay in mud huts. The guide led us well as an art of thinking, and
from the main road to a maze of trails. We had to walk really fast to an art of writing.
keep up. Tall grasses were on either side of the single file path. I kept my —source unknown
head down, eyes forward.
Suddenly the trail turned and right in front of me a huge expanse of
water burst into view. Muddy, violent, pulsing currents separated our side
of the jungle from the other side in Congo. Over ten miles wide at its
widest, this river was powerful and big and luminescent. Hundreds of
tributaries feed into its 2,718 miles of water.
At four in the afternoon, a round, orange sun (larger than any sun I’d
ever seen) glinted on its surface. The jungle it supplied lined both banks.
Dense, wild, lush and overgrown. That’s when I got it. Only a river that
big could have furnished the jungles on either side.
When we think about The Writer’s Jungle, we’ve got to think about
what supplies it. For lots of kids, their writing world is little more than a
weed patch with a garden hose. But our goal is to grow a jungle—rich,
dense, lush. We have to be willing for tangles and unknowns in order to
get the rich variety of foliage and wild life. But for anything to grow, we
need water. Lots of it.
Where does the nourishment come from? Kids can’t write if they
have nothing to say, no models of quality writing to copy and little con-

CHAPTER 1 THE LANGUAGE ARTS RIVER
tact with a great variety of writing styles. Give your kids a language-rich
environment where reading literature, poetry and the newspaper is an
ordinary occurrence, where movie viewing includes discussions, where
It works! What Julie said works! read-alouds are opportunities not just to follow the hungry plot line but a
So many times she has told us
to TALK with our kids about
chance to notice the skill and craft of a master writer. These experiences
what they are writing, taking do more to form writers than all the workbooks and writing programs
notes while we talk. We did that combined.
today! It works! Charlotte Mason, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Anne Lamott, Natalie
I was truly at a stand still with Goldberg, Ernest Hemingway, Ruth Beechik, C.S. Lewis, Peter Elbow,
Greg and his Mill Report. I felt Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor, William Zinsser—these are the men
there was a whole lot more he
could do with this piece but
and women who’ve influenced my writing the most. In their unique
wondered how to get him to do ways, they each talk about absorbing and noticing and copying the writ-
it? Then I remembered what she ing skills of masters.
had been saying—so I tried it! Here we go.
Writing starts off the page

We just “talked” about radiators,
... put down the pens and
talked. After awhile he said he The river that supplies the writing jungle is made up of language arts
had an idea to write a paragraph practices. Don’t start writing until you understand and practice these rou-
before his opening paragraph so
I handed him my notes and tines… routinely. Writing is not about filling up a page with words
said, “Here. This is what you (though most of us would settle for that, to be honest). It’s about helping
told me... it is all your words your kids to create new hooks in their minds so that they can express
and ideas. This is yours!” He themselves more and more powerfully over the course of their lifetimes…
took it and started writing.
and can do it in written form. The saddest part of teaching writing for
Now I know that this idea has me is the discovery of how widespread the fear of writing is in adults.
worked for Julie, but when it
comes together at our house its Clearly, many of us haven’t had the opportunity to draw on the big lan-
positively amazing! guage arts river to grow our own writing jungles.
Catch them in the act of thinking

—Judy
Next time you call your best friend and your ten-year-old son comes
up to tell you about the chapter he just read, stop talking to Mildred, put
your hand over the receiver (or better yet, hang up) and listen.
Manipulate your cheek muscles into a smile and say words like: “Wow,
you really liked that story!” and “I am impressed with how well you’re
telling it to me.”
A girl who can tell you the contents of Anne of Green Gables, a boy
who can teach you how to play Pokemon, a girl who repeats the whole
dialog she had with her Sunday school teacher—all are practicing narra-
tion—the most important pre-writing skill. The operative word here is
practicing.
Narration is a skill. Quality retelling doesn’t come naturally. Certainly
the inclination to narrate is natural. But you only have to attend one
Bible study to discover how few people possess the facility to explain
themselves in an orderly, presentable fashion.
Ever notice the typical description of a movie by a kid sixteen or
under? “Yeah, it was a really good movie. Yeah, I mean, it was, like cool.

Especially that funny part was so, well, uh, weird. Yeah, it was awesome;
you gotta rent that movie…” This little example is not narration. But you
knew that. Time to roll up our sleeves and punch the muster out of
Narrating is an art, like poetry-
insipid movie reviews! making or painting, because it
So what is narration exactly?

is there, in every child’s mind,
waiting to be discovered, and is
Many of you know the famous British educator of the early 1900s: not the result of any process of
Charlotte Mason. Her educational philosophy develops good thinkers disciplinary education. ‘Let him
narrate’; and the child narrates,
who will eventually write well. She advocates the practice of narration.
fluently, copiously, in ordered
Many moms have understood this practice to mean that they should urge sequence, with fit and graphic
some kind of formal summary of chapters that they read to their chil- details, with a just choice of
dren. As the child gets older, mothers require some of it to be written. words. This amazing gift with
which children are born is
This is one level of narration. Still, another way to understand narra-
allowed to lie fallow in their
tion is the ability of any person to teach back that which they’ve begun to education...
absorb and learn. It’s why many people say that the best way to learn
Bobbie will come home with a
anything is to become a teacher. heroic narrative of a fight he
Our children need opportunities to teach back to us what they learn, has seen between ‘Duke’ and a
observe, discover and experience and they need lots of access to us in all dog in the street. It is wonder-
ful! He has seen everything,
kinds of settings to do it. (Yes, even in the shower. But I do draw the line
and he tells everything with
when I’m in the bath tub…) Don’t look at narration as a tiresome exer- splendid vigour in true epic
cise to be drummed out of your kids on command only during school vein; but so ingrained is our
hours. contempt for children that we
see nothing in this but Bobbie’s
Encourage your child to tell that convoluted tale and have patience
foolish childish way!
while she sorts through it. If she forgets identifying details, help her,
Whereas here, if we have eyes
don’t tune her out.
to see and grace to build, is the
Warning: You won’t want to listen! I know I don’t. I literally catch ground plan of his education.
myself thinking about email while my son talks. The moment I become
—Charlotte Mason
aware of it, I stop and ask him to say it again. It’s tough, especially when Home Education
you don’t care about the subject yourself. But realize this: when your kids
care, they do a better job of narrating and work harder to do it well.
We can grab those spiritless descriptions by the shirt collars and
require them to ‘fess up to more information. “What do you mean that
Alex is oozing with ideas and
Jackie Chan was cool? Did he hide in a freezer or fall headlong down a loves to talk about his computer
snow-covered slope?” Don’t settle for labels over experience. Words like games and Nintendo 64 games
“cool” and “awesome” are substitutes for narrating. A sort of verbal short- and his strategies with them. I
confess that I don’t pay as much
hand. Your child is illegally trying to get the high off of reliving the
attention to his “ramblings” as I
experience without going to the trouble of helping you to live it with know I should. My excuse is
him. Blow the whistle and require your kids to help you live the tape that that I don’t appreciate the intri-
is coursing through their minds at that instant. Train them in the habit cacies of these games and that
he never stops talking! But Alex
of retelling with vivid language and passion.
has even e-mailed ideas to the
Seize these opportunities and, by all means, count them as part of games’ producers about possible
your writing program. The more your kids talk and talk well, the better improvements.
they will write! —Nancy

Ownership
There’s a distinction between real learning and repetition of informa-
tion. In our years of school, we were trained to believe that if we could
Example of oral narration:
cough up information on command, then we deserved good grades. It
Delacroix’s Christ on the Lake of
Gennessaret didn’t matter if two days later we couldn’t even re-take the test.
Narration, in its truest form, should have another name. In my home,
“Jesus is in the upper left corner.
There’s light shining around his I call it “ownership.” Narration reveals to me that my kids “own” the
head. Up above him is a boy material. Do they have the ability to retell not simply on exam day, not
looking out for waves. In the two minutes after they read the page and then write what they read into
lower right corner, there is an
a notebook, but can they, will they, do they retell the information
old man holding on tight to the
stern. throughout the weeks and months and years to come?
• Does my daughter relate what she learned on Tuesday to the play
she viewed on Sunday?
In the middle on the top, there
is a man that is taking off his
• Do my boys surprise me by sharing details about the Vikings when

shirt and throwing it into the
they play Legos?

sea. The clouds are dark and
there is a mountain where the
water breaks in the upper left • Does my daughter spontaneously write a poem after a nature walk?
• Does my son take me outside in the middle of the night to tell me
corner. And the water is green-
where to find Orion after learning about it on a camp-out?

ish-darkish bluish. The water is
swirling and it’s not calm at all.
A man is on the boat and he is • Does my six-year-old tell his dad about the okapi he saw at the zoo
almost falling off trying to grab at dinner later that night?
one of the oars. Another person
is crying with his hands up to Yes they do! My kids have done all of these and more. I know yours
his face and the oar is in his lap. have too. Start noticing just how smart your kids really are!
And there is a man taking
Charlotte Mason says that narration should be a pleasure to the
something off his hair. Jesus is
sleeping.” child. Guess what? Narrating is very pleasurable. Think about how much
you look forward to sharing the details of your day with your husband
—Jacob Bogart (8)
when he gets home. Remember how good it feels to be the first one to
tell the details of the latest romantic comedy to your group of girlfriends.
Narrating gives us power. We feel smart, in touch and relevant.
Our kids are no different. And consequently, as they develop this
skill, it’ll become a pleasure to you to listen to them. I’m actually inter-
ested in finding out what my kids have retained. When they talk easily
about something they’ve learned, I’m highly gratified.
But I’ve also learned not to feel insecure when they show me little
fruit, when their narrating is sub-standard or incomplete. Why? Because
I find out instantly that they’re taking no pleasure in that topic or for-
mat! Or I find out that they haven’t owned the material yet.
When that’s the case, I figure—we’ll get it next year, or maybe after
one more Shakespeare play, or we’ll cover the Boston Tea Party again in
the future...
The point is—narration isn’t something done to the child, or some-
thing to be drummed out of them or something to be ashamed of or to
take undo pride in. It’s the helpful assessment of what learning is actually
taking place.

The child doesn’t need to review the material in advance. We aren’t

trying to make sure that our kids have the dates down cold or the infor-
mation well-stored. We’re trying to find out how many things have taken
root in our children’s minds so that those ideas will grow. Narration helps
us to see what hooks our kids have added to their learning that will help
them assimilate new information for years to come.
I hesitate to require daily narrations of each subject. I do ask my kids
to retell something most days (for example, just this morning we made a
chart of the characters in the Comedy of Errors just to keep the people
straight and retold the story at various points to keep us on track.) But
usually I ask for narration when the retelling has a purpose that makes
sense.
A couple of real life, retelling venues are:
• Explaining a new factoid to a sibling
• Reminding the family where we left off in the story
• Calling dad to share a fascinating science fact
• Teaching me about a topic I’m not familiar with (like computer
games, comic strips, Taekwondo forms, N’Sync lyrics and chess)
Otherwise we use writing projects, Legos, dramas, walks, drives on

errands, dinnertime discussions, and so on to reassure me that learning is
actually taking place. I look for most narrations in the fullness of our
lives.
As kids get older (junior high) I require them to put some of it on
paper. This year, for instance, I had my kids write a narration after each
chapter of The Children’s Homer. Though we didn’t read it every day,
when we did, they wrote. The chapters were short and could be summa- Unfortunately, we too often
think of writing in terms of
rized easily. My kids don’t always enjoy narrating an entire book this way basic writing skills, such as let-
(they didn’t always want to), but the end results were extremely satisfy- ter formation and spelling. Yet
ing. My kids are proud of their mini-versions of that story. ... those basic writing skills have
For high schoolers, expository essays and research papers fill the role very little to do with real writ-
ing (whether that writing is a
of narration. utilitarian or creative endeavor).
The Big myth

Beyond simply learning to
write, then, we are forever
It’s a mistake, I believe, to expect our children to creatively write learning to become writers.
every day. Whoa! I see those hands, hear those protests. That’s what There can be no end to the
process, or to our need for other
everyone has told you to do, right? However, as a writer myself, who has
people, other readers.
been passionate about it since childhood, I have a confession to make. I
—Nancy Wallace
do not write every day... at least not the kind of writing we assign to chil-
Child's Work
dren.
To be truly creative, to generate new thoughts, ideas, descriptions and
analysis on a daily basis is too much for children still learning how to
spell, handwrite and punctuate. Our kids need more time to absorb
information and make connections between subjects than we adults do.

It’s simply unfair to expect them to produce on command. So lighten up.

Less is more: fewer assignments equal more enjoyment.
Workbooks also kill the joy of writing. I don’t own a single curricu-
Read, read, read. Read every-
thing—trash, classics, good and
lum for writing. Most of the moms I know who lack confidence own a
bad, and see how they do it. Just library of writing materials. And their kids still cry, complain and resist
like a carpenter who works as their assignments.
an apprentice and studies the That’s why I believe that early elementary writing programs are a bit
master. Read! You’ll absorb it.
Then write. If it's good, you'll
silly. The number one priority of a writing program for kids under 12
find out. If it’s not, throw it out should be to guard their enjoyment of writing. If you succeed in keeping
of the window. them interested and willing, you’ll have given them a wonderful gift.
—William Faulkner So how do we do this, you ask? We require less original writing and
encourage our kids to interact with writing that’s already written.
Three keys for budding writers
Read good writing

An undervalued component of a good writing program is reading
with purpose. We all read to our kids (at least I hope you do) but do you
read with attention to highlighting the good writing? I, for one, can read
at a breakneck pace when I’m into the story. (Suddenly I forget about the
assigned pages, the math lesson and lunch in favor of “Just one more
chapter, please.”) While this attitude is wonderful for family bonding, it
deserves to be balanced with some deliberate attention to the actual writ-
ing. You can pay attention to the writing elements as you go or during a
time you set-aside.
The power of listening to good writing is easily underestimated. The
help that reading is to us cannot be quantified over the short term. In
other words, your kids must read lots of good writing for years before it
starts to rub off on their writing products. That said, get started right
away.
Still, just reading isn’t enough. Not all children naturally make the
connections between metaphors and the funny words used to describe
the fat man as a whale. We need to make the connections for them so
that their awareness is heightened.
I’ve begun to study classical music with a wonderful tape series by
the Teaching Company. Until now, I’ve always known I “should” love
classical music. And of course, I’ve enjoyed the melodies for years. But
my appreciation didn’t go beyond the surfaces. I didn’t know what made
Beethoven’s 5th spectacular and revolutionary. I just knew it “sounded
cool.”
Professor Greenberg teaches non-musical students what makes the
music great. He frequently plays fragments of the larger works so that we
can hear what he hears—closed cadences, non-thematic transitional
music, motives, de capos. As he explains what these various terms mean
and then demonstrates them in isolation from the whole, I learn to

notice them almost naturally when I listen to the complete sonatas or

rondos later.
The same is true with reading. When you read a novel at breakneck
speed, your children enjoy the writing because of the story line and the
characters. By stopping to notice a good metaphor (and then explaining
what that term means and what it does in a story), your kids get to enjoy
the story at another, deeper level—at the level of intentionality—the
motives and craft of the author. The following section helps you to know
what to look for when you read.
Musical Language
Really young children especially enjoy the sounds that words make. That buzzing noise means
something. You don’t get a
But it’s worth noting with older children as well.
buzzing-noise like that, just
…they saw a great, high, tall forest full of tree trunks all ‘sclusively buzzing and buzzing, without
speckled and sprottled and spottled, dotted and splashed and slashed its meaning something. If
and hatched and crosshatched with shadows. (Say that quickly aloud, there’s a buzzing-noise, some-
and you will see how very shadowy the forest must have been.) body’s making a buzzing-noise,
—Rudyard Kipling, How the Leopard Got His Spots

and the only reason for making
a buzzing-noise that I know of
is because you’re a bee.
Kipling is so aware of the power of his writing that he urges the
reader to read his description quickly and aloud to enter his shadowy for- —A.A. Milne
Winnie the Pooh
est world. Kids love the music of language. Stop to enjoy it. Talk about
it. Imitate it.
Winnie the Pooh is another musically crafted series as well as all of the
Dr. Seuss books. Rhymes and poetry are wonderful sources of musical
language. Here’s a family favorite:
Whether the weather is cold
Whether the weather is hot
Whether the weather is fine
Whether the weather is not
We’ll weather the weather
Whatever the weather
Whether we like it or not!
Kids love the use of homonyms and the way the words create a sing-
song feel as you read them. Notice it!
Techniques that creates cadence/music
Rhyme: Especially ending rhymes

Alliteration: The repeated consonant sound in a sequence of words.
When it occurs at the beginning of the words, it’s called initial allitera-
tion. (“The more the merrier”; “a dime a dozen”; “jump for joy” and so
on). When it occurs within words, it’s called, internal alliteration.

“Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump,

on the back of his head behind Christopher Robin.”
AA Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Writing is not psychology. We
do not talk ‘about’ feelings. This passage features the “b” sound throughout the sentence.
Instead the writer feels and Assonance: Like alliteration, assonance features repeated sounds in
through her words awakens
those feelings in the reader. The
words. This time, the vowel is the featured sound as in “mad as a hatter”
writer takes the reader’s hands or “free and easy.”
and guides him through the val-
ley of sorrow and joy without
Onomatopoeia: Words whose sound suggests or imitates the mean-
ever having to mention those ing of the word. “Bang” “Thwack” “Pssst” and “Cock-a-doodle-doo.”
words.
Homonyms: Just as in the “Weather” rhyme, kids love to hear a
—Natalie Goldberg word they know used in a new way. These also make great copywork
Writing Down the Bones
(further on in this chapter) since it helps kids to make meaning differen-
tiations between two words that sound the same but are spelled differ-
ently.
Good descriptions
Powerful descriptions are easy to highlight and greatly enhance your
child’s writing if learned as a skill. It’s not an exaggeration to say that
robust writing depends heavily on powerful associations between seem-
ingly unrelated experiences, objects and ideas.
What to look for in a description:
• Sentences that use like or as. (similes) “He’s as stiff as a board.”
• Direct comparisons. (metaphors) “The sun is a big orange in the
sky.”
• Appeals to the five senses. “His breath smelled like sour milk.”
• Use of concrete detail to create a mental picture. “The mountain
tops sparkled a dazzling white in the early morning dawn.”
• Powerful verbs (sprinted, glistened, sliced, cantered, retorted, cor-
nered…)
Here’s a wonderful description that uses several of these elements. I

assigned this passage to my kids for copywork (explained later in this
chapter).
Two round, fat, roly-poly monks waddled past. They looked like two
perky brown day-birds approaching a water pool. Their brown robes
swished against their sandaled feet. Their eyes were lowered. They
fingered the beads of their rosaries hanging from thick white cords at
their waists. Their lips were moving as they silently whispered their
prayers. Their shaven heads were round and red and glistening in the
bright, hot sunlight. God was their Father and the saints their broth-
ers. They needed no earthly family.
Ann Nolan Clark, The Secret of the Andes
Another function of description is that it advances the story in some

way. Look for clues that the author is using a description to give the
reader much needed information that pertains to the plot itself.
When we read House of Sixty Fathers the following passage struck me
Always grab the reader by the
as an example of how the author used description and the setting to rein- throat in the first paragraph,
force the key message of the story. sink your thumbs into his
Below in the bay the white dishpan drifted and twirled. Two duck-
windpipe in the second, and
lings swam in the dishpan, but one must have gone overboard with
hold him against the wall until
Tien Pao’s hard, blind shove. The little duckling was chasing the
the tag line.
dishpan, scrambling desperately to get out of the big river back into —Paul O’Neil
its little dishpan home.”
Meindert DeJong
This image reinforced the plot in which Tien Pao, a boy of about
seven, was violently separated from his parents by the same river currents
that swept the little duckling away from his siblings. We paused to notice
this detail before moving on.
Opening hook
My hands-down favorite opening hook in a children’s book is from
Charlotte’s Web. It begins, “Where’s Papa going with that ax?” Who could
stop reading after that? The reader is plunged immediately into a moral
dilemma involving a child and a father. Openings that grab your atten-
One mother, Renee, told me
tion usually start right in the middle of the story. Or they say something how her son knows good writ-
unexpected. ing when he hears it too.
“Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways. For one thing,
he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of year.”
“In our reading today at lunch,
one son stopped me in the mid-
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

dle of the book to comment
about this sentence that struck
him. This is from Behind Rebel
Rowling draws the reader in by identifying her main character as Lines by Seymour Reit. “
being completely different than almost every other ordinary school-aged “They fired a barrage of ques-
child. Harry Potter doesn’t look forward to summer. That ironic state- tions at him until he felt like a
ment propels the reader forward to resolve the bit of tension she’s creat- fort under attack.”
ed.
That’s what a good opening hook does. It creates tension that needs
resolution.
Later in this course, I’ll discuss and explain what the main literary
elements are that ought to appear in your child’s writing. Before expect-
ing any of them to magically occur, however, be sure to take the time to
find examples in other people’s writing first.
As you notice these elements together, there is no pressure to repro- The purpose of a newspaper is
duce them right away. Instead, you are building their experiences of good to comfort the afflicted and
afflict the comfortable.
writing. And you teach them to pay attention.
—Finley Peter Dunne
Non-fiction
Don’t forget about non-fiction, too. The newspaper, non-fiction
library books, pamphlets and brochures all contain components of effec-

tive organization. Identify these. These passionate writers will use won-
derful language to communicate in non-fiction just as well as fiction.
Be sure to look for elements of good writing as you read books for
Sources for copywork
yourself. One of my favorite places to enjoy good writing is in the
• Poetry anthologies lifestyle section of a newspaper. These writers can’t waste time luring you
• Novels into their articles. They either have you or they don’t. Command of lan-
• Newspapers guage, purpose and reader awareness all happens in a five minute read!
• Refrigerator magnets Movie and book reviews are also excellent models for descriptive/critical
• Religious or inspirational texts writing. And editorials help to fine tune your sense of what makes a
• Shakespeare
good argument. So get started yourself and pass on your learning to your
kids.
• Greeting cards
• Bumper stickers Copywork
• Famous quotations Copywork is the practice of choosing a selection from literature or a
• Song lyrics historical document and copying it over in your own handwriting.
• Hymns Copywork is soothing and enjoyable. Instead of requiring the student to
• Screenplays come up with new ideas and words, she can savor the words of other
• Foreign language passages writers. Choose sections of the Bible, good books (either novels or non-
• Mathematical principles fiction works) or poems that are well written. Ask your child to copy the
• Scientific experiments or def- selection over in his or her best handwriting.
initions Copywork counts for writing. Before your child can be expected to
• Historical documents produce from scratch, it’s just fine if he or she copies a master. These bits
• Field Guides and pieces of good books often become treasures to your children. Your
• Toy catalog descriptions kids will create books of beautiful and funny, wacky and meaningful
• Computer game rule books quotes that speak to them and remind them of good writing elements.
• Riddles Moms have a variety of ways to organize copywork. Some moms that
• Funny things family members
I know create a weekly routine such as the one below:
say Monday—Religious or inspirational text
Tuesday—Passage from a novel
Wednesday—Shakespeare
Thursday—Historical document
Friday—French
Other moms use a copywork jar. They type up passages for their
children, print them out, cut them up and put them in a jar. Each morn-
ing the child chooses one to copy.
At our house, we are less disciplined and yet it works well for us. I
allow the kids to choose their own copywork. Their selections have
ranged from the lengthy (long passages out of novels) to the brief (refrig-
erator magnets). They’ve copied lists of Lego sets that they want for
Christmas, song lyrics, poems, Shakespeare scenes, computer game
instructions, passages from novels, science facts, mathematical formulas,
historical speeches, statistics, world records and field guides.
My daughter handmade her first copy book. She made the paper for
10

the cover from scratch and then sewed the book together. She wrote first
in pencil and then copied over in pen. This little tome is a priceless
record of her fourth grade year. Since then, my kids usually write on
notebook paper and put their work in clear page protectors. My oldest
uses a composition book.
There is no one way to do copywork. And because of my children,
I’ve begun to keep a notebook of interesting quotes from the books I
read. I sit right at the table with my kids and we all do copywork togeth-
er. We do copywork for approximately fifteen minutes a day. If they
haven’t finished the passage they began, we carry it over to the next day.
The point here is to make copywork a routine practice.
For younger students (4th to 6th), copywork can occur four to five
times a week. As they enter the older grades, copywork can work togeth-
er with dictation.
In our house, we’ve sometimes used the dictation passages as copy-
work for the older kids (5th to 7th). Familiarity breeds better results in
dictation.
I also discovered quite by accident that copywork can be done on the
computer. When my 12-year-old son asked to copy song lyrics by the
Newsboys on the computer, I raised an eyebrow. Isn’t copywork meant to
encourage penmanship? Noah convinced me, though, that he’d get all
the other benefits of copywork, but instead could practice typing. I let
him go, and seven pages later, he emerged from the computer room.
Typing is an even more critical skill than good handwriting in our com-
puter age so don’t forget to let your kids get lots of practice.
One of the hidden benefits of computerized copywork turned out to
be that our word processing program highlights all spelling and grammar
errors. Noah turned it into a game trying to avoid making the markings
come up!
Dictation
Dictate a paragraph, sentence
by sentence, for the child to
Much has been written about the value and use of dictation in lan- write. He should listen carefully
guage arts. Ruth Beechik and Charlotte Mason fans are all familiar with to your expression and decide
by that what kind of punctua-
the instructions to choose a passage from a book to dictate while the tion to use… Add interest to
child writes it out. This process aids the child in spelling, punctuation this work [dictation] by choos-
and conscientious handwriting. ing paragraphs from the child’s
All I want to add is that dictation is a discipline that most of us have favorite books. The child can
even help to choose the para-
never experienced in our years as students. Because of this, I think there’s graphs.
a tendency to leave it out when pressed with other subjects. Don’t make
—Ruth Beechik
the mistake of treating dictation as an option. If you must omit a subject You Can Teach Your
for the week, drop the grammar exercise book or the spelling pages in Child Successfully
order to make room for dictation. The fruit is far more substantial even
though it doesn’t look like it initially.
The French have used dictation consistently for decades. It begins
the day in many schools. By high school, students are required to do dic-
11

tations from long passages with no prior acquaintance with the material.
When I was a university student in France, I was amazed at my fel-
low students’ discipline of beautiful note taking (almost verbatim with
Dictation practices in French
primary schools: colored pens and rulers), their ability to narrate faithfully what was
taught or read and their keen attention to spelling, punctuation and
1. Write one sentence for detail. I’m convinced that these strengths have their roots in years of dic-
your child omitting one
tation and written narration (explication du texte).
word.
We Americans laughed when we compared our notes to theirs—
2. Teach spelling by leaving
scribbles and gibberish on all angles of the paper—undecipherable to any
blanks for multiple words.
other person. But as the year progressed, I learned to do written narra-
3. Add sentences to the initial
tion and some dictation too. It was completely foreign to me, but I also
one but leave several more
words blank. discovered how helpful it was in teaching me to retain what I had read or
had been taught.
4. Dictate the entire passage
without any clues. Some of my friends here in Cincinnati are from France. They
allowed me to take some time to look at their kids’ dictation workbooks.
What follows is a week’s worth of dictation instruction using the same
passage (for children under 10) according to the French system.
1. Write one sentence for your child leaving a blank for one word.
Dictate the passage and allow your child to fill in the missing word.
The student learns how to listen for the missing word and reads along at
the same time. In France they use this system to isolate words that fit
into a spelling pattern. You can achieve the same kind of results by using
passages from read-aloud books. Simply select sentences that have words
that you’d like your child to learn.
2. Teach spelling by leaving blanks for multiple words.

The second step is to identify which words in the passage are
spelling challenges for your child. Write out the sentences that have
these “hard-to-spell” words, leaving blanks for those words. Dictate the
sentences expecting your child to fill in the missing words as he hears
you say them. Homonyms are easily taught using this method (“their,”
“there,” and “they’re,” or “our” and “are,” or “hare” and “hair,” or “witch”
and “which,” for instance). If you notice a frequent, pesky spelling prob-
lem that shows up in your child’s writing regularly (such as ‘whent’
instead of ‘went’) use dictation of this type to isolate the word.
3. Add sentences to the initial one but leave several words blank.
Instead of expecting your child to be able to write the entire passage
straight through, give your student some of the words as guides but leave
others blank. This time choose new words to leave blank. For instance,
“She stared at it for a _____________ then swam ___________
She didn’t ________how to read and although _________rather
liked the looks of the _________ __________ who had something
____________hanging around his neck, she____________ really
12

get _____________ in a bird that was _____________ to say any-

thing.”
White, Trumpet of the Swan
4. Dictate the entire passage without any clues.

Using the same passage, dictate it through without any helps.
If your child makes multiple mistakes (more than three), then
chances are you chose a passage that was too challenging. Be sure that
dictation is a successful experience. If your focus is on spelling, don’t
choose a passage with tricky punctuation. If dialog quotes are the most
important feature, choose a passage that has simple spelling words. Save
teaching the more difficult punctuation for copywork and grammar.
Commit to dictation as a mainstay in your writing program. If the
kids are balking at generating new thoughts, at least they’ll be writing
someone else’s with attention to those niggly details that all mothers
Brave Writer Coach Rachel
worry about. Boyer approach to dicta-
Reverse dictation
tion—
I’ve created another form of dictation for our kids. I call it “Reverse Monday—Pick a passage for
Dictation.” Instead of expecting my kids to produce a written product copywork and copy it.
while listening to me dictate, I type the dictation passage into the com-
Tuesday—Student checks work
puter. I leave out punctuation, capitals and indentations. I also misspell for mistakes and corrects them.
commonly misspelled words (such as “because” or one of the forms of Mother orally spot checks
“their”’, “our” and “are”). I print it out and tell my kids that they need to spelling—picking words from
edit the passage. the passage that might be chal-
lenging.
They must insert commas, periods, quotation marks, question marks,
capitals, and apostrophes. I ask them to underline any misspelled words Wednesday—Mother dictates
and then to rewrite them correctly (if they can) at the bottom of the passage to student to write out.
page. I teach them the notation for paragraphing and tell them to insert
Thursday—Reverse dictation
it when a new paragraph should begin. of the same passage. (Pay ‘em
Then I pay them. They love this part! I give a penny for every correct off )
correction. No penalties for missing something. They get a penny for
identifying the misspelled word and another one for spelling it correctly.
I want to reward both skills—the ability to identify a misspelled word
and the ability to spell it correctly.
My nine-year-old benefits from two to three sentence passages. I also
tell him how many words I’ve misspelled and sometimes how many mis-
takes to look for. I don’t yet expect him to do dialog punctuation or com-
mas. My older kids, though, (6th and 8th) do fine without all of those
instructions. And we’ve done enough dialogue punctuation in dictation
over the years that they can be held accountable for those marks.
You need to assess what skills your kids have in mechanics. Then
make your assignments accordingly. If you discover that they aren’t find-
ing the majority of the mistakes, the passage is too difficult.
13

Which brings me to spelling

So much has been made of spelling in our schools. Homeschoolers
wring their hands about the miserable spelling their kids produce and
Spelling is to writing what table
setting is to eating. It’s a good
they worry that it’s their fault. ACSI, Spelling Power, The Natural
idea to learn to do it properly, Speller… all these books have enjoyed fad status in homeschooling cir-
but in the meantime, the food cles. Can spelling be learned without workbooks? Can copywork and
tastes just as good. dictation actually succeed in teaching a child to become a conscientious
—jb speller?
I say, “Yes.” But it won’t happen overnight. There are three kinds of
spelling errors that ought to be isolated from each other when evaluating
if your kids have spelling “issues.” There may be more than these, but as
I’ve spent time teaching, I’ve noticed these three typical patterns.
1. Misuse of homonyms I honestly don’t consider a homonym a
misspelled word. If your child writes “witch” and meant “which,” he has-
n’t misspelled. He’s misunderstood. He’s memorized the wrong word for
the right meaning or the right word for the wrong meaning. This real-
ization is hugely important. Instead of bashing your little guy for making
a spelling error, recognize that your child can spell. He just did. He
spelled the word correctly and used it in the wrong way.
To fix this problem, affirm to your child that he can spell. What he
needs to learn now is when to use the right spelling. I had a sixteen-year-
old who used the word “witch” to mean “which” over and over again. I
finally mentioned to him that in 90% of the cases that he’d encounter in
writing, “which” would be the right one to use. We talked about how to
convert his thinking—to come up with a way of alerting himself to the
fact that he’d developed a habit of using the wrong word.
We decided that he would get into the habit of checking all of his
papers for the word “which”’ after drafting. That would be his first step
in the editing process every time.
Dictation and copywork chosen to identify the relationship between
the two words is very helpful at this point. I love homonym poetry for
that specific purpose.
2. Phonetic guesswork Many of our kids misspell a word by follow-
ing the rules they’ve learned from other words. Unfortunately, the appli-
cation of the rules they’ve internalized doesn’t always help them to spell
the new word correctly. But I still don’t call this a spelling problem.
Anyone who can take a spelling principle and apply it to a new word is
using the skill called “spelling.”
Common spelling mistakes in this category include: ‘conciquence’ for
‘consequence,’ ‘fary’ for ‘fairy,’ ‘vacashun’ for ‘vacation,’ ‘thay’ for ‘they.’
These kids are using spelling principles—they’re applying phonetics to a
new word and are making educated guesses.
To correct problems like these, point out that you can see the intelli-
gence behind the spelling choice. Then teach the new principle and be
14

sure to give copywork that will reinforce the proper spelling.

One of my girlfriends was a missionary. She moved to the States
when her daughter was in fourth grade. Until that point, her daughter
had been in French schools. When this mother started to homeschool
her daughter here in the states, she was horrified by all the spelling
errors this daughter made. I looked over the paper and laughed. The
entire paper was spelled with great attention to phonetic accuracy… all
the words were spelled just right if she’d been writing French.
When I mentioned this to her mother, we had a good laugh. I told
her that this daughter would have no trouble learning to spell. She was a
natural speller. She just needed more time with English to get that same
level of internal “rightness” about how words ought to look on the page.
To correct problems like these, spend time in copywork and dictation
that highlight or feature commonly misspelled words and help your child
to see what new phonetic principle is at work (if indeed there is one—
Ugh! English!).
3. Real spelling bugaboos This category is the only one to worry
about. You know that your child has difficulty with spelling if he or she
continually misspells words and there is no rhyme or reason to the
spelling choices. In fact, truly poor spellers will vary their spelling mis-
takes (they don’t consistently write the word the same wrong way every
time but spell the same word in multiple different ways in one paper).
One time you might see, “whent” for “went” and then later in the same
paper you’ll see “wente.” Or your child might alternate spellings for
because: “becaus” “becuz” and “becuase.”
If you can’t make sense of why the word is misspelled, then you can
call it a spelling problem. First find out if your child knows he or she is
misspelling words. Ask them to highlight or circle any words they mis-
spelled. If your kids can identify their own spelling errors, then they have
some spelling intuition that just needs more time to develop. Make
copywork and dictation a daily practice and require accuracy. Be sure
your kids read to themselves for thirty minutes a day.
For auditory learners, ask them to read aloud to you (I’ve found that
quick readers don’t improve their spelling because they don’t take time to
look at the words). Reading aloud slows them down to see what they’re
reading.
Another way to help auditory learners is to spot check their spelling
ability by orally quizzing them on tough words in their dictation before
you have them write it out.
If your kids can’t detect most of their own errors, it’s time to work on
spelling. At that point, I recommend getting some kind of program and
using it. Stick with the old faithfuls, too: copywork, dictation and editing
their own writing. And if the spelling incongruities persist into high
school, see a specialist to rule out learning disabilities. Most kids learn to
15

spell correctly 80%-90% of the words they use by the end of high school.
And it happens naturally. If your kids aren’t making gradual progress over
the years, get help.
What no spouse of a writer can
A Word about grammar
ever understand is that a writer
is working when the spouse is
staring out of the window. [and The other language arts arena that mothers obsess over is grammar
no mother can understand it instruction. Just for the record, grammar has very little to do with writ-
either… jb] ing. It has everything to do with understanding the science of language
and making sure that you use standard American English when you
write. I recommend hitting it three times over the life span of a student:
once in elementary school, once in junior high and once in high school.
Foreign language instruction will cover anything you miss and will do it
more effectively anyway. For a more detailed discussion, check out the
FAQs in the back of this course.
The Water’s fine

Jump into the language arts river. Writing depends on it. Kids who
read a lot will naturally have better vocabularies and a flare when they
write. They’ll learn to spell and they’ll learn to recognize their spelling
errors (‘Something just isn’t right about that word.’) Reading well, narra-
tion, copywork, and dictation make a difference in your kids’ ability to
generate original thought on paper later, which is the subject of the next
chapter.
Mom’s assignment
Choose one of the language arts practices in this section and add it
to your weekly routine. You don’t have to try them all at once and then
get overwhelmed. Eliminate one workbook page and add one day of
copywork. Put the grammar book aside and do one day of dictation. Do
this for a few weeks before you add something new. (One thing I discov-
ered is that I enjoy copywork too. I bring my own books to the table and
copy out passages that I want to remember. So do it together and begin a
family routine).
As you grow more comfortable in these kinds of language arts rou-
tines, you can move ahead to the next phase of writing—learning to
communicate: saying what you actually mean and then meaning what
you say.
16

Chapter 2
Communication Gear
The Role of Communication in the Art of Writing
et’s face it. Few of us like to write. Fewer still are any good at it. And
L almost no one wants to teach it. The reason? A crisis of confidence.
What is it about a blank page and ink pen that causes grown women and
innocent children alike to sweat, fidget and make excuses not to do it?
Most of us were not taught to write for pleasure, self-expression and
discovery. Instead we were handed inane topics that neither inspired us
nor related to topics we knew or cared about and then were told, write. A blank piece of paper is God’s
way of showing a writer how
We received training in areas that didn’t aid the actual writing process. In hard it is to be God.
fact, grammar, spelling, punctuation and various writing forms (like
—Joel Saltzman
essays, reports, research papers, and poetry) don’t teach the writer how to
generate clarity of thought on paper. They don’t inspire quirky insights or
flights of imagination. They don’t even teach a child how to get that I tell my son that it’s time for a
pencil moving, for crying out loud. writing assignment and give
The struggle happens even after the best instruction. The war of wits him a book of topic sugges-
is waged between the would-be writer and the implacable piece of paper tions. He picks one and quickly
writes a title and topic sentence.
(or computer screen for modern word slingers). What happens to our Then he sits and stares at the
kids as they face the empty page? Paralysis and daydreams, the answers page. Then he stares into space.
to yesterday’s math problems and decisions about capitals, efforts to He starts tapping his pencil on
make that weird cursive “r,” and questions about when to use commas. the paper as if this will enable
him to release his thoughts and
These are the sudden thoughts that crowd out the written words. Our put them into words.
kids cling to their pencils until they cut off their circulation.
The tapping ceases and he asks,
Ask your kids. As soon as you see that blank stare say, “Amelia, what “Do you want to hear what I
are you thinking right now?” have so far?”
Let’s start at the beginning and discover together what writing is —Pam
really all about. Maybe we can unravel some of its mysteries.
17

CHAPTER 2 COMMUNICATION GEAR
So what is writing anyway?

My definition of writing can be summed up in this phrase: Getting
the stuff that’s in my head down onto paper.
Much of the writing we are
This definition is deceptive however. Effective writing takes the defi-
asked to do in school or work
involves explaining someone nition one step further. Communication in written form assumes there is
else’s thinking. To do this well a reader who assesses whether effective writing has actually taken place.
we must get inside that other The reader has the final say about whether or not the writing actually
person's idea...When we have
communicated anything. Think of it this way—effective writing is about
to write about the thinking of
others, we are especially likely getting the stuff that’s in my head into yours so that you think, feel, see
to slip into the path of least and perhaps even believe what I’ve written.
resistance, the energy-efficient Our kids need first to understand that writing reveals their thinking
method: we summarize the
processes. Those who write clearly, you can be sure, think clearly too.
ideas without really being there.
That’s why children who are Those who write in convoluted circles probably can’t talk their way out
never asked in school to write of a paper towel tube! In order to actually write about anything, our kids
about their own thinking often first must have something to say. Doesn’t that seem obvious?
get worse and worse at experi-
But many of them think they don’t have anything to say. And often
encing thought.
they’re right. We expect too much too soon and then become frustrated
—Peter Elbow
when our kids don’t produce on command. When they do fill up a page,
Writing With Power
the writing is often tedious and anemic.
The first order of business as we lead our children into the jungle,
then, is to set up good lines of communication. Writing is all about com-
municating… or at least it should be. As some of you have noticed, I’m
sure, your kids often turn in writing assignments that do little more than
fill lines on the page with almost no real communication value at all. Can
you imagine scouting a new trail in the jungle without radios or smoke
You don’t write because you signals? That’s what many children offer as a fulfillment of writing
want to say something; you assignments—little more than vague ideas presented in a bland fashion.
write because you’ve got some- No punch, no life, no clues to the alive topic inside the child.
thing to say.
—F. Scott Fitzgerald Why do we tolerate such pitiful writing from our kids?
When you face the inadequacy of your child’s writing, the first line
of defense is to work harder on all the externals. We can put up with less
than average prose if the grammar, spelling, and punctuation are accept-
able. Beware. Poor writing can’t be bandaged with good mechanics.
If you’re bored reading it, your kid was bored writing it. Why should
my son slave away working on a report that no one will enjoy reading?
Think about that. If your child actually thought that what he produced
were good to read, his whole attitude about the next project would likely
be different. He would want to see if he could get that positive reaction
again.
If your mom’s bored reading it, When our boys master “olleying” on a skateboard, the first thing they
it’s your fault.
do (after ramming into the front door and smacking their little sister in
—Online writing student the head with the knob) is to scream, “Mom, come outside. I gotta show
you somethin.’” No improper pride, here, as Elizabeth Bennett would say
(Pride and Prejudice). Just the thrill of mastery and the power of enter-
taining.
18

Think of it this way. Writing is like a theatrical performance. Just

because someone has memorized the lines, poses as directed and wears a
convincing costume doesn’t mean that the actor has succeeded in good
acting. We recognize good acting by how moved we were after watching
a great performance.
Likewise, the report about Vermont that your daughter wrote
shouldn’t be a fulfillment of some list of state report topics. It should
start there, perhaps, but it must sing in the end. It must have its own
quirks, insights and that fresh interpretation that is unique to your child
in addition to the evidence of research.
You know it when you read it

You think you don’t know how to teach good writing. But I know Clear thinking becomes clear
this: you know good writing when you read it. When an author makes writing: one can’t exist without
the other. It is impossible for a
you laugh or causes you to cry, when you want to call your husband at
muddy thinker to write good
work to tell him to read the newspaper editorial, when you find yourself English.
recommending that latest Mitford book… you are revealing that you —William Zinsser
know good writing. Impact is one measurement of quality writing. On Writing Well
Writing is the most powerful tool known to humankind. It tran-
scends time and withstands reproduction. It is the concrete preserved
expression of a real person’s thoughts, beliefs, passions and understand-
ings. It’s the vehicle for preserving scientific data and mathematical for-
mulae. Through reading, we can know not only about Plato, but his very
mind. We can know him as he was when he wrote.
And this is precisely why writing is intimidating. Who wants to
expose shoddy thinking or inarticulate arguments to our readers? How
many of us are willing to face our lack of interest in a subject? Who can
bear to see red ink all over spelling and grammatical errors? Our kids feel
the same way. Here’s what Rachel, staff teacher with Brave Writer, says
about this process:
Writing is sort of like undressing your mind—sometimes it makes me
feel downright naked. It’s so crushing to have my poor bare self ogled
and poked and critiqued and trivialized instead of listened to. Kids
Writing is sort of like undress-
aren’t any different from adults in this, are they? What we put them
ing your mind—sometimes it
through in the name of “teaching” is so disrespectful of them as per-

makes me feel downright
sons. I’m convicted! My daughter has even told me that it hurts her
naked. It’s so crushing to have
feelings when I point out everything wrong with her writing.

my poor bare self ogled and
poked and critiqued and trivial-
ized instead of listened to.
Even after years of editing others and writing for pay, I still have to —Rachel
muster some courage to face my husband’s editorial comments when I
write. This feeling of vulnerability never leaves completely. Writing is
like undressing and facing the mirror.
After visiting an art museum, we cringe at the thought of our own
stick figure drawing. So it is with words. We know good writing when
we read it and we fear ours is not. Even if we enjoy writing, we are con-
cerned when our kids are intimidated by it. We want to help. Sometimes
it seems we can’t make it across that bridge.
19

The writing we love is the result of artists passionately and carefully

honing their craft. Their brilliance is the result of discipline and talent.
Not all of our kids will ever care that much about writing.
I never learned the skills to
write in school. I find myself
I was reminded of this the other night. I went to a concert featuring
wanting to avoid learning this four gifted musicians. One played the harp, another the piano and two
skill with my children because were masterful guitarists. As I listened to their music, I imagined myself
they hate to write. To get my so skilled and gifted. But when I watched their fingers fly over their
children to write most of the
time is a terrible struggle, possi-
instruments, I saw hours and hours of practice. Practice I would never
bly because I haven’t given commit to for myself.
them the skills to write confi- I do play the guitar. I enjoy it and can sing along as I play without
dently yet… I’m challenged to embarrassment (well, most of the time). I don’t worry about becoming a
face this lack in myself so I can
teach my children.
master. So I will never be a true musician. But that doesn’t mean I have
to quit playing an instrument. I enjoy it well enough for it to serve me.
—Tina
That’s what I want writing to do for my kids. The children who will
become great writers reveal an inborn passion that need only be nur-
tured. Everyone else need only develop proficiency and confidence in
their writing. That’s it.
Another analogy occurs to me. I have a friend whose favorite occupa-
tion in life is to calculate totals. She runs our homeschool co-op budget
and won’t rest until every penny is accounted for.
“Johnnie, it’s 8 a.m.” I sing up My checkbook, on the other hand, is a poor attempt to match the
the steps. “Honey, come down bank statement. In college, I bounced ten checks before someone taught
for school. I can’t wait to see
me how to balance a checkbook. Since then, I’ve managed adequately but
that awesome descriptive para-
graph you wrote.” find no such thrill at being able to find the missing penny. I just write it
Johnnie rolls his eyes as he
off. My accounting skills are sufficient; they are not art. But I’m happy
saunters down the steps. with them.
Scrambling through his desk he Whether our children or we ever attain brilliance in writing shouldn’t
produces his “masterpiece.” be the issue. Everyone can achieve a level of competence and pleasure in
Without too much scrutiny, I
can see what this session is
writing that both satisfies the writer and enlivens the reader. Let’s start
going to be spent on… again. with those goals instead of the unattainable one: being a good writer.
Doggone it! He’s still inconsis- This course is about traveling through the terrain of writing with
tent with capitalization and your kids. I may overdo the metaphor a wee bit, but I want to make one
punctuation.
clear point: Writing is a journey through wild and uncharted territory. It
I sigh with a feeling of discour- is nothing like math. You can’t organize it into a system and succeed.
agement.
Writing involves getting to know people which is messy, inspiring, and
—Martina time consuming.
So strap on your boots and the two-way radio. Time to learn how to
communicate in the jungle.
Getting ready for the trip

Let’s test our radio system shall we? Before we expect fluid prose, it’s
helpful to train our kids to communicate clearly—verbally. The following
exercise is designed to warm up you and your kids. It gets the communi-
cation muscles working and underscores some of the essentials of good
writing without making your child lift a pencil!
20

The Communication Game

This exercise creates an “Aha!” kind of experience for you and your
kids.
The process will elicit certain fundamentals to good writing and We played the game yesterday
afternoon. It went really well,
communicating. I’ll show you how to help your kids discover these prin- but control freak Mom (me)
ciples as they play. Once they experience the power of these techniques, jumped in too much to tell the
they can be reminded to use them in their writing. And when they use boy doing the describing how
these skills, they will communicate better. to do it better! Sigh. I probably
lost some of the benefit of the
Read carefully all the instructions before you begin. Try it on your exercise! But the boys did get
spouse first, if you can. the big picture; they were both
One of the purposes of this exercise is to bring you and your kids amazed at the amount of info
together—talking, drawing, evaluating (and laughing). You’ll use a white- they were leaving out when
they described the figure.
board or large pieces of white paper for simple drawings. You’ll also need
a few plain pieces of notebook paper (without lines) and a pencil. I helped them see they needed
to give an overview and they
Relax and have fun! When I play with my kids, we use an entire finally did that consistently.
morning trading places and taking turns. They love it. Be sure your kids The big problem the almost 10
get the opportunity to be on each side of the game at least once. year old had was simply giving
enough precise information.
Here we go The older boy would give more
detail, but in a confused and
The goal of the Communication Game is to help your kids experi-
“random” way. This fits the per-
ence the power of good communication. In some cases, the game will sonalities of the kids!
demonstrate the utter failure of poor communication. Underscore suc-
I’d like to try it again with
cesses rather than failures by offering lots of support and encouragement. them. By the way, don't try it
Don’t belittle, show frustration or irritation. In fact, laugh together when with a software engineer! My
you can. husband can describe a figure in
minute detail! He says he has to
This is phase one of a two-part game. The first phase is preparation
make brainless computers
for the “real” game. understand details all day—
Phase One
describing a simple figure was
easy!
1. Begin by drawing several intersecting shapes on a white board or —Carrie
piece of line-free paper. They can be shapes such as a diamond without
the edges touching and two vertical lines running through it, or a circle
that has spokes that do not touch, or a ladder that is propped up by two
angular lines on the sides. Anything will work as long as it is simple (not
too busy) and yet not too easily described. (Don’t just draw a rectangle in
the middle of the paper.)
2. Look at this picture with your kids. Tell them to study it carefully.
Ask them what they see. Walk them slowly through each part of the
drawing. Ask them to describe what they see. As they speak, you should
draw exactly what they say so that they can begin to see the results of
their descriptions. For example, your daughter might say, “Draw a line on
the paper.”
As soon as she makes such a general statement, draw a line that is
totally different than the original picture. Perhaps she meant a straight
line in the middle but didn’t say so. You can begin then by drawing a
21

curvy line along one edge. She will see instantly that she didn’t give you
enough detail. Feel free to prompt her with comments like, “Is it a
curved line or a straight one?” or “Does the shape of the drawing remind
Yesterday we played The
Communication Game. I
you of anything?” or “Can you tell me how many parts it has? How many
played with the three oldest 13, straight lines will I be drawing?”
12, and 9. They knew it was
Dan’s first writing assignment 3. Keep at this for ten minutes discussing ways to make the
from the Internet class. (So far description clearer. Here are things to suggest:
• Introductory comments: Teach them to describe the overall pic-
Dan loves this class because it
ture before they tell you a specific detail. “Before you start writing,
has included a game and a
Mom, I want to tell you what I see. There is a baseball diamond

paper for me to write.)
Meg, the oldest did not want to shape in the center of the page and the corners don't connect.
play. “I already have my own There are two lines running through it too.”
• Concrete Detail: The next step is to use concrete detail to get the
writing class and I have all my
desired result. “The line is six inches long and runs vertical on the
other school to do,” she argued.
page midway from the top to bottom.”

So I promised the winner
immunity from spelling (Yes,
• Figurative Language: Tell your kids to use metaphor (direct com-

we watch Survivor!). This got
parison without ‘like' or ‘as') and simile (using ‘like' or ‘as') to create
everyone excited and we began.
The girls started right off with a word picture. “The lines look like a ladder going up the middle of
the big picture using metaphors the page with three rungs about 3” long and 2” between them.” “Like
and similes. a baseball diamond,” or “looks like a pizza with one slice missing”
are examples of ways to describe shapes without relying exclusively
on measurements.
After hearing them, Dan gave
it a try too. I could tell their big
picture, figurative bent, sur-
prised him. As we played the After she finishes describing the picture, ask her to say it through
game I made sure to point out one last time in short form: “So you should have two vertical lines down
the benefits of Dan's specific the middle of the page with a large diamond shape intersecting it.” Of
details. I wanted them to see course this final overview can be longer, but the idea is not to repeat
that you need both the details
and the figurative language that every little detail, but rather to sum things up so that the person drawing
relates the drawing to some- can “see” it one last time.
thing we already know. I think
they really got it. We played for 4. Now, ask your student to compare your picture and the original
45 minutes and had a great to see how well he described it.
time.
Everyone got immunity from Phase Two: The Communication Game
spelling, even me!
1. This time, ask you son or daughter to draw several shapes onto a
—Barb
white board or large piece of paper behind your back. These shapes are
to intersect and can be curvy and/or lined. Keep it somewhat simple. My
daughter drew the shape of a sailboat on water for one of hers. My son
drew an abstract image that had a triangle and a circle in it. In both
cases, they were not complicated.
If you have two children of similar ages (both at writing ages—10
through 16) you can remain the teacher and have them play it with each
other. In that case, you can guide the process a little or even be the one
to create the drawing while allowing one of the children to describe it
while the other tries to draw it from the description. The choice is yours.
22

2. The person who will be drawing must turn her back and not look
at the drawing. Let’s assume for these instructions that you will be the
one listening to the description. You’ll need to have a piece of paper in
We played the game today and
your lap and a pen. Your child will stand with his back to you facing his Malcolm (8) did well on both
drawing. It’s up to your child to describe for you the drawing he has stages. He was miffed when I
made in such a way that you reproduce exactly what is drawn on the drew his picture and it wasn't
exactly what he had drawn.
board. Here’s the catch: he cannot look at your drawing while you draw
it and you may not ask any questions or turn around to see what he or I think he missed the point that
he could do this again and
she has drawn.
come even closer to getting it
3. When your student believes she is finished, she can turn around to right.
see what you’ve drawn. You, the mom or dad, may not look at the origi- Ian (11) did well, but had a lit-
nal. When she sees where she has gone wrong by looking at your draw- tle difficulty describing a cer-
tain aspect of the drawing I had
ing, flip your paper over and let her try again (during this second made for him in Phase 1. He
attempt, she may not look at your paper again). Whenever she describes did what I thought he would
her drawing, she may not look at what you are drawing. She may look at do and said, “Mom, you aren't
your drawing only during the brief moments of “feedback” where she getting what I’m saying!” When
I told him that I was drawing it
examines what you have drawn to improve on her description precisely according to his
instructions and showed him
4. Allow her to describe what she sees repeatedly until you have suc-
what I meant he sheepishly
cessfully recreated what she originally drew or until she starts to yell at agreed with me.
you for your simplicity of mind that can’t follow her ‘perfect’ directions.
—Lisa
(Of course, don’t take it personally—this is just a learning experience—
three deep breaths and plunge ahead).
5. If your child is having a lot of difficulty with creating a good
description or the experience is paralyzing, you can switch places. You
create the drawing and do the describing while he attempts to draw what
you say. He’ll get the idea without so much pressure, and it will aid him
when he tries it again for you.
Points to be gleaned from this first exercise

• Introductions help readers know what to expect.
I played the game on two occa-
Most of us assume the reader knows more than she does. The
sions with my 11-year-old,
writer/communicator is totally responsible for what is created in the

Rachel. It took more than once
mind of the reader. He can make no other arguments. His writing

for the ideas of summary,
stands alone. In this exercise, for instance, most kids forget to give
descriptive detail, figurative
any introductory comments such as:

language, and feed back to con-
nect with the analogy of writ-
“Before you draw anything, let me just tell you a little about what I
ing clearly for your audience.
see.” Or, “I am going to tell you how to draw a picture that has six
lines and two circles in it. Before you begin, imagine a baseball dia-
I think it was a great beginning
mond…”
to put us into a different medi-
um to relate the concepts. We
These are important to help the reader/drawer have a context for

thoroughly enjoyed the interac-
what follows.
tion and I think the main
points will be remembered.
• Details matter.
Kids need to say, “Draw a line that is parallel to the bottom edge of
—Donna
the paper,” or “The curved line looks like the base of a crescent
23

moon on its side.” They might say that the straight lines look like a
ladder with half-inch spaces between each rail and that the rails are
one and one half inches in length and that there are three of them.
Most kids make assumptions and say things like, “Draw a line and
then another one above it.” That is insufficient and they will notice
We’ve played the game before,
those mistakes when they pause to see your paper.

but the kids really enjoyed it
again. David noticed how some
• Feedback is critical to effective communication.
things are easier to describe
Even for the kids who do a good job of describing what they see,
than others are. He felt it was
there will still be some changes that they make after looking at your
hard to explain certain shapes—
version of things. If there are no changes to be made, the drawing
especially the overlapping ones.
was too simple or your child is very good at communicating! And if

He realized why it was diffi-
the latter is the case, writing is the next step and will follow quite
cult—because we were not
naturally. The point is that writing improves when the writer revises
thinking what he was thinking!
it. Inviting feedback and then revising accordingly results in a

Aha! His reply, “It's hard to get
stronger piece.
in your mind what I want you to
see.” It also surprised him how
tough it was to describe some- • Clear communication is the writer’s responsibility.
thing that he had created. The reader reads in isolation from the writer. That’s why in this exer-
cise, your child cannot see your paper while she is describing and
you may not ask questions. This is the critical difference between
—Myra
live presentations and writing. Writing is in seclusion for people the

writer will rarely meet (except his mother, father and boss). If the
audience doesn’t “get the description” the tendency of a young per-
son is to blame little brother for not trying hard enough to under-
stand or for being stupid. Unfortunately, even good descriptions may
not work with every audience.
For instance, my daughter is visual. She doesn’t have a firm grasp
The communication game was of lengths and measurements. When her older brother kept using
fun. Eye rolling and groans exact measurements and geometric shapes to describe his picture,
quickly changed to giggles. We
she didn’t get it. At first he wanted to blame her for not listening well
enough.
discovered that to effectively
I gently reminded him that as the writer, it’s his job to know his audi-
communicate simple details was
ence and modify his communication accordingly. Then I modeled

hard work. Repeatedly we
the use of figurative language with Johannah and she instantly “got”
found how easily words, which
the drawing. That’s how Noah learned that it was his responsibility
were clear to us, could be inter-
to write for his audience rather than to yell at them.

preted differently by another.
The benefit of details, exact
• Figurative language is at the heart of good writing.

words, sequencing and figura-
The livelier the detail, the more tied to pictures and experiences, the
tive language was quickly
easier it is for the reader to follow along. Describing the shape as a

understood. The results were
baseball diamond is far better than “draw lines that are at angles to
still comical!
One of the greatest lessons
each other.” As your child gets better at translating his own experi-
ences into his writing, he’ll use metaphor and analogy regularly.
learned was that of persevering
in our word choices until we
got it right. The biggest sur- Once you’ve finished this process, go over what worked first. Notice
prise—how much effort it takes
if there were introductory comments. Identify which details were most
to say something so that the
other person hears it as you useful to you. Remind her of successes in sequencing. Point out how well
intend. she used the “feedback” of looking at your paper to re-describe her pic-
—Sue ture. You can discuss weaknesses, but only as it helps. In other words, do
not say, “You didn't use enough detailed descriptions for me.”
Say it like this, “I would’ve seen your picture in my mind's eye even
better had you described it as a ladder.” You can ask now for new details
24

as you look at the picture together. “Does this shape remind you of any-
thing?” “It reminds me of...”
The point here is to give information that supports their attempts at
We had a blast doing the com-
communicating rather than demeans or criticizes their efforts. Once munication game. I went first
you’ve had fun with this exercise, move on to the next chapter. to reduce the intimidation fac-
tor. We had a few pictures that
came out as intended, but most
were a bit off. Laughter
abounded. I guess that's what
you get with eight participants
(myself + 18,15,13,11,9,7,5—
5 only drew).
The need for careful choosing
of words wasn't missed by the
target sub-group. In fact, it was
understood long before we let
everyone have a try, but we
went through everyone anyway.
It was obvious that the late
describers learned from the ear-
lier describers. Perhaps this is a
benefit of having a large “class.”
—Ruth Anna
25

26

Chapter 3
The Sights Along the Way

Entering the “Land of Alive Writing” via the Five Senses
ve was lucky. She only had one lying snake to deal with. We home-
E schooling moms have many.
The “experts” claim to have the knowledge of good and bad writing.
Meet the serpents of our imaginations: authors of writing curricula, pro-
fessional educators, even other well-meaning mothers. We fear that they
all say essentially the same thing about us behind our backs. “You can’t
teach writing. I’ve seen your child’s work and it’s a joke. I wouldn’t line
the cat box with the stuff your kids put out.”
Ouch.
After you worry about how badly you’re missing the mark in teach- Even though I’ve tried numer-
ous curriculua that have writing
ing your kids to write, these same snakes beguile you with bewitching assignments spelled out—they
words: “Listen to me and I will show you the knowledge of good and bad never seemed to work. This
writing.” course worked because it was an
You lean closer. After all, writing is central to any good homeschool. assignment that we (child and
me) did together. By that I
And you aren’t secure in your ability to teach it. You listen more intently. mean that we were really on the
The first indication that you’re a mother who has attained the same team because I was learn-
knowledge of good writing is the curriculum you use, they say. There’s a ing too. It wasn’t me stating “do
workbook that only requires you to hand it to the child and like magic— the assignment” and then walk-
ing away.
good writing will leap from his hand to the page. For an additional swipe
of the credit card, the curriculum sellers will include the handy instruc- —Paula
tional video that takes you through the process of analyzing composition.
They also tell you that mothers who foster good writing learn the
educator’s mantra. “Tell Johnny to write daily. All good writers write
daily.”
Still, this is not enough. You knew it couldn’t be that easy. You swal-
low and get ready to bear up under the hardest proof yet.
Mothers, who have obtained the knowledge of good and bad writing,
warehouse thick notebooks of pages filled with words and more words:
27

CHAPTER 3 THE SIGHTS ALONG THE WAY
essays, reports, letters to Grandma, descriptive paragraphs, instructional

paragraphs, short stories, research papers, and haiku written by their chil-
dren. With your own notebook in hand, you’ll have proof positive that
Typical strategy for improving
writing programs: you’ve succeeded in taming the writing demon. If you can hold up the
weighty notebook to all scoffers, you’ll know that your child has learned
1. Buy new writing curricula
to write. Right?
2. Impose daily writing routine
Don’t you wish. Once you bite this apple, you taste the worm: writ-
3. Expect more completed ing with kids isn’t that easy (or that hard).
writing assignments
West of Eden
The advice of experts, daily repetition and sheer volume will fail you
in the end. Once you admit it, you’ll be ready to exit Eden: the land of
“Perfect Writing.” West of Eden lies a different landscape altogether, a
wild jungle filled with insights, bursts of creativity, bad spelling, unre-
fined punctuation and surprising metaphors.
There are fewer completed assignments here. Initially the writing
will look more like rocks than jewels, but the rocks that are carefully
honed into gems become all the more precious as a result. The final
papers are compelling to write and read because they come from a living
source: the imaginative and powerful minds of children.
Follow me as I take you on a tour of this New World: a world where
writing is free from bondage. A place I call “Alive Writing.”
To get there, we need to stop by the brain. It turns out that Alive
Writing is the result of a unique interaction between the two sides of the
brain.
Tour of the brain

Both sides of the brain get to write—just not at the same time. We
want creative, fluid prose that wake up the reader and inform or inspire
him. We also want to be sure that we spelled “courageous” correctly, that
we indented the proper amount for a paragraph and that we don’t end
our sentences with the wrong mark.
Our kids feel this internal struggle even more keenly. They know that
if they write out an assignment with lots of mistakes, we’ll bite off their
heads and make them do it again. Such pressure.
It’s a tug of war between the right and left brain. Drop the rope and
start writing.
The Creative side

In order for words to make it from your child’s mind to the blank
page, he must know that it’s a safe place to put them. He needs to feel
assured that those precious thoughts and ideas will be noticed, even if
they are as yet underdeveloped or poorly expressed. It’s humiliating to
kids (and adults, I might add) to be edited, corrected and revised. Even
the best writers (highest paid authors) bristle at hearing the critique of an
editor. And I wince at my husband’s!
28

Good writing starts off the page. Talking is the precursor to effective
writing. Get your kids talking and talking well before expecting words on
paper.
Better strategy for improving
Then give them freedom. Take off the shackles of what good writing writing programs:
should be and get truly interested in how your child’s mind works. It’s
amazing to read what they think, and why. 1. Modify the assignments in
the curricula you already
We homeschooling mothers have a disadvantage. Though most of us
have or create your own.
don’t have any wish to teach in a traditional school setting, teachers have
this one leg up over us. They look at the writing samples of twenty to 2. Require less writing from
thirty kids of the same age group when they grade papers. After the first scratch. When you do, allow
for total freedom in the gen-
ten, they have a fairly good idea of what constitutes average writing for a
erative writing phase.
given grade level.
We have usually one child in one grade. And we have poor memories 3. Only take one writing pro-
of when we were that age. It’s hard to know if your child is hitting the ject through the entire writ-
ing process per month.
mark or is off by a mile. Here’s what Jane said about her ten-year-old
son:
Our matching emotional intensity seems to be a problem for us. He
gets annoyed and I’m then annoyed that he’s annoyed and so we spi-
ral downward. I want more confidence that I’m making reasonable
requests so I can ignore the fireworks.
I also worry that he’s not developing enough and that he’s not on
“grade level” with his skills. Handwriting is a struggle but his typing
isn’t too great either! He serialized two different works of “fiction” last
year, but finished neither. He has big ideas for a ten-year-old boy. He
has high standards, too—I get the sense he wants to write a big, All-
American novel—not a solid essay!
Karen shared with me about her son and report writing,

He was miserable at having to start over again, at having to look up
the words, at having to “waste” his time taking notes, and having to
write a draft, and then a final copy. He was miserable the whole time,
and still is. James has always hated writing assignments that are
given specific boundaries, goals, objectives, and guidelines. He does-
n’t mind writing stories of events that he has experienced, or scenar-
ios that he creates, but those are seldom and far between occur-
rences.
We have two interesting similarities in these mothers’ descriptions of

writing with their boys. The boys are not inspired by the typical writing
assignments. They feel constrained by the requirements. Yet they do have
profuse imaginations and can write more easily when allowed to use
them.
There is no easy solution here. I can urge you to read papers written
by your friends’ kids. But what if they happen to be really good at writ-
ing and enjoy the assignments? You’ll just club yourself silly for allowing
your kids to produce shoddy work or to follow their imaginations.
Abandon this constant need to determine grade level. Start out by
29

ignoring writing in its traditional sense. Instead, get interested in your

child’s mind. As you discover the unique take he has on life, you can
relax. The boys on the previous page demonstrate that they do have
One definition of a creative
person is someone who can something going on in their minds. Jane’s son has actually started to
process in new ways informa- write a fictional series. That’s something to note!
tion directly at hand—the ordi- This is the goal of all good writing: capturing on paper the lucid,
nary sensory data available to all
true and unspoiled perspectives of the writer. Once these are identified
of us. A writer uses words, a
musician notes, an artist visual honed and investigated, they can be transmitted to paper. Once they are
perceptions, and all need some on paper, they can be manipulated, crafted and spiffed up to entertain
knowledge of the techniques of the reader.
their crafts. But a creative indi-
Of course, the writing process is irritating and cranky even for well-
vidual intuitively sees possibili-
ties for transforming ordinary known authors. But it can be mastered, or at least, it can be proficiently
data into a new creation, tran- tamed to serve the needs of the writer. The writer starts with his own
scendent over the mere raw ideas and passions, however, before he learns to create interest and pas-
materials.
sion in less familiar topics.
The Other side of the brain

—Betty Edwards
Drawing on the
Right Side of the Brain We live in constant dialog between the creative and the critical sides
of our brains. During most of our days, we are blissfully unaware of the
flow between the two. We move from imagining possibilities (short cuts
Directly across the street from
the [Eudora] Welty home was
to the dentist’s) to concrete details (do I have the checkbook and the
the music building of Belhaven insurance card in my purse?). Writing should be the same way. Once
College, and from the practice your child has engaged the creative (right) side of her brain for several
rooms the sounds of piano exercises (with no criticism), you can teach her about the other (left) side
music would drift across
Pinehurst Street, keeping her
of her brain.
company through the long soli- The analytical side of the brain is best taught separately about writ-
tary hours at the old Royal ing. Its chief job is to master the elements of writing that support com-
(typewriter). munication. In other words, the critical, analytic side of our brains is
“Though I was as constant in made for spelling bees, sentence diagramming and academic writing
my work as the students were,” forms. Just like math tables, these parts of the language arts can be bro-
she has written, “subconsciously
I must have been listening to
ken down into components, particles and bits. There are rules to be
them, following them…. I real- learned and broken. But at least there are rules.
ized that each practice session We live much of our lives in the left side of the brain. We need to
reached me as an outpouring. obey laws, handle machinery, follow recipes, pay bills and read directions.
And those longings, so
expressed, so insistent, called up
For those moms who clip coupons, write out lesson plans and schedule
my longings unexpressed. I the laundry, letting go of the control over the writing process will feel
began to hear, in what kept very loosey-goosey. In fact, it feels downright unnatural.
coming across the street into These mothers tend to search for the writing program that “does it
the room where I typed, the
recurring dreams of youth,
all step-by-step.” They want to know that they haven’t missed anything
inescapable, never to be and that their kids are getting an incremental guide to the world of writ-
renounced, naming themselves ing.
over and over again.” Here’s where your otherwise bright brain fails you. The critical side
“Mississippi Queen” of the brain—the rule-following, orderly, nit-picky brain cells—wants to
Willie Morris, Vanity Fair, control and crush the creative impulse. It’s spent years seeking domi-
May 1999
nance over the toddler-like freedom that the right brain insists on.
30

Creativity and mistakes are only appreciated in very limited doses,

thankyouverymuch. And they are wholly unappreciated when school is in
session.
But the right brain thrives on experiences and exploration. Instead of
categorizing and evaluating, the right brain relates and observes and per-
ceives. One moment’s vision of an orange in a fruit bowl calls to mind
the still lifes painted by Dutch artists, hunger for lunch and memories of
Dad peeling oranges during the sailboat outing. The right brain connects
and interacts and notices without judgment. And the right brain is quiet.
She simply doesn’t shout for attention like the ol’ left brain.
So before we move into the next phase of writing, let’s take a
moment to let that right brain come out of hiding. Keenly observing the
moments and details of life is critical to the best writing. Before we fig-
ure out how to get sentences out of our kids, let’s start with the frag-
ments of vision, sound, and taste… with the five engaged senses.
The next chapter will tell you how to shore up the weakened right
brain. The framework for what makes good writing is only supported by
getting to write any which way the child wants to at the beginning. For
now, give your child a chance to dive into his experience and what he
already knows.
At this stage in the journey into your child’s personal writing jungle,
we’re looking for his unspoiled perceptions. Alive Writing depends on
getting inside the insights and observations of the writer. The following
exercise helps you to lead your child into natural observations that he
might ordinarily overlook as he writes.
Preparation for writing: Keen Observation

In the Communication Game, your kids discovered the power of
their communication skills. In the Keen Observation exercise, your chil- What am I trying to say?
dren get the chance to develop their observation skills. As they investi- What words will express it?
gate a concrete object, they must match descriptive terms to their experi- What image or idiom will make
it clearer? Is this image fresh
ence. But they still don’t need to bother with complete sentences and enough to have an effect?
paragraphs. Could I put it more shortly?
Almost every writing manual has an assignment that tells the writer Have I said anything that is
to engage his five senses while observing an old book or copper coin or avoidably ugly?
chocolate brownie. What they often don’t do is help your children ask —George Orwell
themselves the right questions to elicit better responses. And they don’t
always expect the child to have the object right on hand.
The results are can be pretty stiff and often the mechanics overpower
the insights. What we want in this exercise is for the experiences and
observations to overwhelm the mechanics. I tell my online students that I
don’t care at all about spelling, sentences or punctuation at this stage of
the writing process. You need to tell your kids that too. (I’ve included
some samples of this exercise at the end of the chapter).
31

Before you read the instructions, let’s look at two descriptive para-
graphs written by fourth graders. The first one is a typical fourth grade
paragraph describing a guitar using a few of the five senses. It fulfills the
By far the greatest thing is to
be a master of metaphor. It is requirements of descriptive paragraph form: topic sentence, a few sup-
the one thing that cannot be porting ones that report sensory detail, and a closing comment. As you
learned from others. It is a sign read it, ask yourself if the writing, insight or surprising observations of
of genius, for a good metaphor
the writer move you.
implies an intuitive perception
A typical fourth grade descriptive paragraph
of similarity among dissimilars.
I love my mom’s guitar. It is brown, light brown and yellow. It has a

—Aristotle
hole in the middle. There are six strings. It feels heavy and light.
When I strum the strings, it makes sounds. I like the music it makes.
This paragraph has a topic sentence that all educators would

applaud. The subsequent sentences tell us about the guitar in a kind of
sequence that makes sense. It concludes with a personal remark. Isn’t this
what a descriptive paragraph is supposed to be?
So now ask yourself, were you moved? Did you want to read more?
Though teachers might give this paragraph a passing grade, readers, on
the other hand, yawn. Why? Because guitars beg to be held, strummed
and caressed. This writer didn’t live in the same neighborhood as a guitar
from this description! She made superficial observations while rigidly
holding to the paragraph form.
What would happen if your child were asked the right questions?
What if your son or daughter could sniff, hug, strum, hold and look
intently at a real guitar? And what might happen if someone who cared
wrote down that child’s comments as he or she said them?
My daughter wrote the following descriptive paragraph when she
was in fourth grade. We spent a week working on this together. When
you finish reading, ask yourself if this writing moved you—made you
smile or caused you to suddenly visualize a guitar—this guitar. Then
we’ll talk about why it works.
Johannah’s guitar description

When I look at my mom’s guitar, I think, “Let me at it!” The neck is
heavy and sturdy like a tree branch. The body is hollow and light.
There’s a big cave in the body where the music comes out. The first
two strings are soft like thread. The wood of the guitar smells like a
forest. The edges are pale yellow like melon that’s not ripened. I pick
up my mom’s guitar and I strum it. Its music is soft like a feather
against my neck.
When Johannah began to research guitars, we didn’t go to the

library. Instead, we opened my guitar case and got one out. I recorded
her comments as she looked at it and spoke. I asked questions like,
“What do you feel like doing now that you see my guitar?” And, “What
does the neck remind you of?”
32

When she described its looks, I then asked her how it smelled.
When she described how it sounded, I asked her to compare the sound
to another experience. We spent a full week working on this one para-
This is what metaphor is. It is
graph. not saying that an ant is like an
So did it move you? Did you connect with the writer? Do you feel elephant. Perhaps both are
you know a bit more about Johannah, not just my guitar? alive. No. Metaphor is saying
the ant is an elephant. Now,
The essence of good writing is that the writer makes contact with
logically speaking, I know there
the reader. The reader goes beyond relating to the item being described is a difference. If you put ele-
or explained. The reader gets to know the writer and feels grateful for phants and ants before me, I
the experience. believe that every time I will
correctly identify the elephant
When our kids write, we want them to go beyond a mere list of
and the ant.
objectives for writing. Instead, we want our children to show up on the
So metaphor must come from a
page. We want that unique take on guitars or BB guns or birthday par- very different place than that of
ties that is wholly their own. the logical, intelligent mind. It
The next exercise gives you a chance to get to know your child in a comes from a place that is very
new way. Together, you’ll examine a concrete object. Through multi- courageous, willing to step out
of our preconceived ways of
faceted questions, you’ll help to elicit insights and observations that go seeing things and open so large
beyond the surface. Sometimes this exercise takes a few days. Sometimes that it can see the oneness in an
the results aren’t that insightful. When kids are developing a new skill, ant and in an elephant.
don’t look for overwhelming success on the first pass. Instead, look for —Natalie Goldberg
one good word or fragment or description. Celebrate that. Build on that. Writing Down the Bones
Keen Observation of a concrete object

The purpose of this exercise is to give your kids the chance to get to
know a concrete object before they write. They’ll examine that object
with enough attention to detail to write about it. The following ques-
tions give the right brain a boost. We want to take our kids out of the
critical left brain mode and teach them to become absorbed in their
experience while at the same time finding words for it.
• Start with any complex object (piece of unusual fruit, pine cone,
origami colored paper, musical instrument, a cup of hot chocolate
with marshmallows floating on top, bottle of perfume... ). Set it on
the table in front of your kids.
• Using the five senses, tell them to investigate the object by writing
down words that represent their experiences in each of these cate-
gories. (If your kids get stuck trying to write and think at the same
time, eliminate the struggle. Take notes for them, or tape-record
their observations.)
• Read these questions aloud to your kids. If you have high school
students who prefer to work alone, remind them that the questions
are not meant to be answered questionnaire style. Rather, the ques-
tions are suggestions for what to look at or observe. Any answers
that go beyond the questions are encouraged! There is no magic
formula here. I expect that you’ll follow your own tangents and cre-
ate follow-up questions as you think of them.
33

Most of us haven’t been trained in the art of deep investigation.

We’re products of a school system that expected orderly writing over
deep writing. My questions here are an attempt to support you as you
Hannah, 13
An Orange retrain yourself to think more patiently and thoroughly about anything
you study with your kids. (Read the following to your children.)
Sight -
round Sight
marigold orange, all over List all of the colors you see. Go slowly. Don’t label the color before
peel dimpled like a golf ball
dent where it was picked from
really looking. You’ll see that this object is not just “brown” but may be
the tree mahogany and gold from one angle and the color of dull metal from
thick peel another angle. Get out your 64 color box of Crayolas if you need help
opaque peel coming up with names for shades of color. Compare your item to the
Smell-
colors of the crayons. Identify which part of the object is which color.
The peel doesn't smell until you • Do the colors influence each other?
• Do the colors separate when viewed up close but blend together
break into it, it has a fresh,
from a distance?
clean smell.
The inside smells like a bitter • Does the lighting affect the color?
• What happens if you look at the object out of doors?
and tart citrus fruit, it smells a
lot like the peel.
• Are there colors within the colors?
• Do you see hints of yellow next to the surface reds?
Taste -
The peel tasted like toothpaste
The inside tasted sour and bit- • Are there streaks or lines or smudges in the patches of color?
• Look at the contours or edges of the object. Is the edge of the
ter
marshmallow in the hot chocolate a different color than the edge

When I swallowed, the bitter
that is in the air?

and sour taste was gone
Touch-
soft Look at different components of the object. Get right next to what
little dents you’re looking at. Pick it up if you need to. Examine it like a scientist.
• Are the parts large or small?
feels like a tongue
• How do they fit together?

inside the skin-
scaley, like fish skin
• What holds them together?
rubbery
• Are the edges jagged or smooth?

smooth
• What shapes are created by the edges?

• What shape is the object when viewed from above? From below? At
eye level? From each side?
• Can the pieces be taken apart?
• Can you cut it open with a knife?
• Can you tear it apart?
• Does it screw or unscrew? Can it be folded?
• What marks or scars are on your object that come from wear or
use?
• What shapes do they remind you of?
• What can be done to your object that I haven’t mentioned?
34

• What would you like to do to it?
Touch
Now that your object is in your hand, describe the textures. Finger The following is the descriptive
all the parts. Go beyond the words smooth and rough. paragraph that resulted from
• What does the texture remind you of? Sandpaper, glass, glue,
Hannah’s Keen Observation
metal, feathers, cotton balls?

exercise on the opposite page.
• If the texture reminds you of something you currently own, go get

“I like seedless oranges. When I
that thing and feel it. Then compare and see if you were right. In
look at this orange I see a round
what ways are they the same? In what ways are they different?
marigold-colored fruit, about
the size of a tennis ball. The
• Can you think of other related experiences you’ve had?
dimpled peel looks like the sur-
face of a golf ball. The orange
Touch every part slowly and talk the entire time comparing and con- has a brown dent were it was
picked from the tree. The peel
trasting one part to another. Take the object and rub it against your fore- is thick and opaque, and doesn't
arm. Does this experience change the feelings you have about the tex- have a smell until you puncture
ture? What does it feel like? How about rubbing it against your cheek? the peel.
Against your neck? “When I peel the orange, a cit-
Smell
rusy, fresh, clean smell sprays
me. When I separate the fruit,
Set the object down. Close your eyes and smell it. Go slowly. Breathe acid from the orange stings if
in several times. Now imagine you are in this room for the first time and you have a cut finger or a hang-
nail. The underside of the peel
you smell that scent.
• What feelings does it conjure?
is white, unlike the orange out-
side. The inside of the orange
• Do you feel comforted or troubled?

smells a lot like the peel. The
• Does the scent provoke a memory? Write it all down.

taste of the fruit is unpalatable
like Crest tartar control tooth-
• Does your nose sting or tickle?

paste. It made me wince, but
• Is it a scent, fragrance or an odor?

the taste did not linger long.”
—Hannah (13)
If there is no scent or fragrance, move on.
Sound
Listen to your object. If it doesn’t make any noise by its nature (per-
fume bottles don’t sing), clank it against something.
• What happens to a piece of fruit when it’s dropped on a table?
• What sound do you hear if you crush a piece of origami paper?
• Play the musical instrument. Listen to it. Describe the sounds by
comparing them to another experience. Close your eyes and think
for a few moments. Imagine hearing that music. Then think of a time
that you heard it before and the way it felt in your body to hear
those sounds. Is today different? Why?
• Does it have resonance (that buzzing that you feel inside with a
bass guitar, for instance)?
Try playing it correctly and incorrectly for different effects. For hot
chocolate, you might listen to yourself when you slurp it, sip it, gulp it,
drink it.
35

Taste (For items that aren’t edible, you can skip this part.)
Lastly, taste your object. Lick it first. Then let the food rest on the
tip of your tongue. Then swallow. Now put a bite of it on the sides of
My comments to Claire are in
bold. Read them for an idea of your tongue. Then swallow. Compare the flavors. Taste the outer skin of
how to interact with the results the fruit. Then taste the seeds. Eat a big all-encompassing bite. Then eat
of a Keen Observation exercise small bites of each different part—the skin, the pulp, the seeds. Describe
that you intend to take through
the differences.
• Can you think of other flavors that are similar?
the writing process to comple-
tion.
• Is one part of the fruit bitter and one sweet?
• For the hot chocolate, taste the marshmallows that are soaked with
Claire, 13
chocolate then taste one that isn’t. Compare. Use lots of words to
Sound-
describe the differences.

When you unwrap it, it sounds
like your handling a chip bag.
• Don’t forget to note how the food feels in your mouth—smushy or

crunchy, chewy or dry.
That’s a good comparison. You
can add words like “crinkle or
crunch.”
Sip the hot chocolate and describe the feelings as it slides down your
When you bite into the sucker throat.
• Does the flavor linger in your mouth or disappear quickly?
it crunches and crackles.
• Is one sip enough or do you now crave more?

And what happens to your
teeth? They get full of hard
sticky candy that won't come • Is the drink entirely sweet or also a little bit bitter?
out without a brushing.
Once these experiences are recorded as notes or on a tape recorder,
I can make the gum in the cen-
type them up. They don’t need to be in any shape or form—just a ran-
ter pop.
dom listing of all the images, descriptive terms and ideas that were stim-
Do you mean that one bite gets
ulated by observation. Some kids like to have their lists organized by
you to the center of the pop? To
say that you “make the gum in sense. Some kids don’t. There’s no right way to do this.
the center” made it sound like Read the list together (mom and child). Your children may want to
you actually produced the do this right away. Others prefer a break and benefit from waiting a day.
gum—as in making it from a
Show your child all the encouraging words he or she produced. Notice
recipe and putting it in the cen-
ter. the amount of creativity your kids have in them already. Be aware of the
level of intimacy created through thorough investigation. If you are dis-
Sight- appointed in the results (think they are obvious and shallow), don’t let
A violet red oval the size of a
on. Find one good descriptive term. Notice and applaud it.
silver dollar on a five inch long,
1 cm wide,white stick. Then do the exercise again (another week or day) and build on this
first experience. No need to move on until this exercise is one that your
Nice use of violet.
child enjoys and develops. On the other hand, if your child is done—
Sort of looks like Saturn doesn’t want to do it again, move on. Don’t force what isn’t there. There
because it has a ring around the will be many more opportunities for your child to develop these skills in
oval.
other exercises.
I love this! One rule of thumb Writing comes next, but not yet. So enjoy and savor these results and
to consider—delete words like
“kind of,” “sort of,” and “seems
save them for the next assignment and discussion. If this experience was
to.” Simply be bold, “Looks like enjoyable, do it again with another object. Emphasize finding the best
Saturn because of the ring and most accurate word for each description. (Synonym finders are
around the oval.” allowed!)
A side note. Some mothers have wondered how this process relates to
36

other forms of academic writing (like reporting or essay writing). The

keen observation process is deceptive because it seems like your young
writers are only learning how to write description. Most mothers corre-
The color is not solid but
late description with fiction. However, all quality writing is a matter of translucent because you can
observation. When a person learns how to see detail in a concrete object, kind of see through it.
he is developing a skill that teaches him to notice complexity and rela- Describe this in better detail.
tionship as well as how to investigate thoroughly. You can see light coming
Most academic subjects are abstract. Yet they require the same level through but you can’t see
objects. Or you can see through
of intimacy with the subject matter as this exercise produces. To investi- to the other side of the pop but
gate a subject deeply means seeing it from various angles, in differing not to objects on the other side
lights, using all the power of his senses and intuitions and memories to of it.
bring that subject to life. I’ve designed exercises that take this skill to the
Touch-
next level for older students. That material will be available at a later Before it is licked it is mostly
date. smooth and has some holes and
For now, let’s move on to Freewriting in the next chapter—the core jagged pieces.
of this writing course. sort of feels like wood that has
Writing Sample
not been sanded.
Great use of analogous think-
Claire’s (13) final descriptive paragraph based on her Keen ing.
Observation exercise (see margin on this page) follows.
Smell-
A Blow-Pop Very sweet like a combination
A Blow Pop is a hard sucker with gum in the middle. When I unwrap
of sweet cherries and honey.
my Blow Pop, it sounds like I’m handling a chip bag; it crinkles and
crunches. When I bite into the sucker it cracks loudly and my back
Here’s a good example of
teeth have hard sticky candy stuck to them. The blow pop is a violet
expanding on the word sweet.
red oval the size of a silver dollar. Like Saturn, it has a ring around
the middle. The color is not solid; it is translucent. If I hold it up to the
the stick does not smell any-
thing.
light, I can see the gum in the middle, but I can’t see through it. The
Blow Pop is mostly smooth but has some holes and jagged pieces, Taste-
which cut my tongue like wood that has not been sanded. It smells very sweet and is the flavor of
and tastes very sweet like a combination of sweet cherries and cherries.
honey. After I finish the hard candy, I chew the gum. The gum tastes
very sweet not like cherries, but bubble gum. After a while it starts to
stick taste sort of salty.
lose its flavor. The blow pop is supported through the middle on a the gum taste very sweet also,
five-inch long, thin white stick. The stick tastes salty, not nearly as but after a while it starts to lose
good as the Blow Pop. its taste.
Examples of Keen Observation exercises We usually say that after awhile

it starts to lose its flavor (not
Dalissa, one of the mothers in my online class, sent me the following taste).
email with her son’s work in it (Eli, 10). I’ve included her comments as Claire, you did a very nice job
well as the exercise so you can get a feel for some of the common con- with this. I can see that you
paid close attention to detail.
cerns mothers have as they embark on this journey with their kids.
37

Dalissa began:
Hello all,
Margaret made the following comment about doing the Keen
Observation exercise with her son:
“In order to get these observations I had to cajole him, give hints and
starter ideas–challenge him.”
I have to concur and say I felt the same way while doing the exercise.
In fact, for the first ten minutes or so, I was also feeling very frustrated
because in my mind I could think of a dozen different ways to
describe what we were looking at, while my sons couldn’t get beyond
basic colors, etc. I finally decided that the exercise was supposed to
be fun and that if they couldn’t be more creative even with me asking
questions like what shade of brown? brown like dirt? what texture?
crusty like burnt toast? etc... then I would have to accept that as their
starting level of creativity. Therefore, I decided to throw off my own
expectations and be silly!
We got to the questions about how our object feels and I made them
rub the object (2 day old meat loaf) on their arms and then in their
hair. (Yes, I know that question wasn’t one of Julie’s but she said to
elaborate and I wanted to lighten the mood—which it did).
What did I learn? I learned to take baby steps and to lower my expec-
tations. I learned to bite my tongue and not offer my own wonderful
descriptions of meat loaf. I wanted them to gain confidence in their
own observations and feel that I valued what they had to say.
With that said, here are Eli’s observations of meat loaf:
Color
• the catsup: dark red, rich red on the part that doesn’t have a layer
on top, lightish red
• the meat loaf: brownish-black on the top and sides where it’s burnt
• when viewed up close it looks pumpkin orange, whitish-brown and
prune brown
• different shades of orange, red, brown, black and yellow.
• when viewed in the sunlight, it looks more pumpkin brown and the
catsup looks a richer red.
• when viewed from the bottom (through bottom of glass container)
looks like a square of all different colors
Texture
• the whole top is bumpy
• looks like a small version of mountains or hills
• bumpy edges
• the catsup could be like lava
38

• the bottom looks wet, smooth, moist

• the top looks really dry
• looks like it would fall apart if you picked it up
Touch
• where it was cut, it feels mushy and moist
• on the outside where it is uncut, it feels rough
• outside feels like a burger
• feels a little bit like cookie dough when squished between fingers
• feels soft and makes a path of grease when rubbed against arm
• feels wet and greasy where it was rubbed in hair
Smell
• makes me think of catsup
• makes me feel hungry
• makes me feel happy because I like it
• want to get to lunch fast
• makes me feel like going into kitchen to see what’s cooking, even
though I’d already know
Sound
• makes a light tick when spoonful dropped on table
• sounds like a light ball bouncing
• when chewed, sounds like a light click
• when chewed, sounds like swishing water around in mouth
Taste
• tasted juicy and tender when licked (licking meat loaf was funny,
too!)
• flavor goes away quickly
• one bite makes you want more, makes you want to eat it all.
• the top layer with catsup doesn’t taste good by itself
• burnt edges are hard and crunchy and hard to eat.
Ryan’s (13) Keen Observation of a soccer ball

• Horizontal black “J”
• Red swirls-weird designs
• Light red dots in a single file line
• Parallel to layers of red polka dots
• White and black swirls
• White lines hold the red polka dots from the black
39

• Name and phone number written in patches the color of ashes

• White background, the majority color
• Streaks of brown, blue, black, and red
• Worn out swirls
• Large and small pentagons
• Pieces sewn together
• Smooth, flat shaped
• All levels in a sphere
• Kick, throw, head, dribble
• Plastic coating, rubbery
• Patches grooved
• Soft and cold
• Smells of sweat
• Victories
• Thump
• Comes back, springs up
• Get it! Attack it! Kick and control it! All mine!
Ryan’s mother wrote about the experience:

I found this assignment to be hard for Ryan (13) at first. It took him
about five minutes to focus on the smaller picture and give some
good details. Then, when I thought he was finished he retorted, “Wait!
I am not done!” That was a great sign!
—Terri
Simone’s (10) description of an African mask:

• Made of wood with smooth edges
• Oval with a pointed chin
• Looks like a leaf or pear
• Face mostly black
• Light blue hair on head and chin
• Bridge of nose is tan and narrow
• Mahogany nostrils, lips and outline of eyes
• No ears
• Three textures
• Blue hair feels like a brick sidewalk
• Black face feels like the top of the wooden stand that holds up the
computer keyboard
40

• Dull metal with imprints in four places, pieces held together with
nails
• 2 diamond shapes on forehead
• 2 rectangular, vertical, narrow strips on cheeks
• Upside down it looks like a canoe
• It could be broken if dropped on concrete
• It cannot be torn apart, folded, cut with knife (unless electric),
• Cannot screw or unscrew it
• Can hang on a wall as decoration
• Can sit on a table face up
• Shiny and straight
• Dull color and curvy
• Hard but smooth
• I feel relaxed & comforted with my eyes closed
• Smells like the outdoors
• Sounds like someone knocking at the door
Simone was excited about the exercise because she understood the
assignment and wanted to work independently. There was resistance,
lots of body movement and, lack of concentration when we investigat-
ed the details together. Later she was very proud of the improved
descriptions.
—Cozy
41

42

Chapter 4
Essentials for the Trip

The Writing Compass
Freewriting: Four-Wheel Drive Help in Writing
e want our kids to write freely and well. We want to stay loose on
W the journey to a finished product and we want to arrive in one
piece—in other words, still speaking to each other as our kids leave for The Writing Compass
college! To get there, you’ll need a compass. All good writing has several North
components that make it good. They are not the ones you might think Good writing is purpose driven.
of—like spelling, or good grammar—or even the subtle ones—like how East
to start a paragraph with interest. Good writing has a distinct
voice that appeals to its audi-
There are four components that routinely show up in the classics. ence.
North: Good writing is purpose-driven. The reader knows where West
he’s being taken and enjoys the ride. The writer has a clearly defined Good writing reveals interesting
detail.
objective and a strategy for getting there. There is harmony between
writer and reader (even though there may be suspense or deliberate uses South
Good writing winds up with a
of irony to make the journey more interesting). The point is: journey flourish.
begun will result in a destination known to both reader and writer.
Clear enough in expository writing. But fiction also yields to this
principle. Even though a reader isn’t always certain of how a story will
turn out, he knows what problem has to be solved for the story to be
“over.” In that way, the reader makes an agreement with the author that
says, “I trust you to fix it by the end of your story.” If the author doesn’t
deliver, the reader is bugged.
East: Good writing has a distinct voice that appeals to its audience. Voice... is what most people
Voice is that slippery word that conjures up dialects, sarcasm and humor. have in their speech but lack in
Still, strong voice is something else. It’s the quality of confidence and their writing—namely, a sound
or texture—the sound of
authenticity that the writer brings to his material. The writer is aiming “them.”
for truth-telling as he knows it. The reader relaxes knowing that she can
—Peter Elbow
trust what she reads. Writing with Power
43

CHAPTER 4 ESSENTIALS FOR THE TRIP
Voice isn’t something talked about very often in writing curricula. In

fact, in most homeschooling writing manuals, the term “writer’s voice”
isn’t even mentioned. But for would-be pros, developing your writing
voice is the I Ching. It’s the key to writing success. And the professionals
spend volumes discussing how to find yours. I wonder why those educa-
tors haven’t noticed? Hmm.
West: Good writing reveals interesting detail. There is an expres-
sion that says, “The devil is in the detail.” Certainly not! God is in the
details. Every single one of them. The writer’s job is to make the reader
conscious of what she flies by every minute of every day. Life slows down
when we read because great writing takes us into our experiences and the
writer’s.
Detail is made up of powerful associations. Writers make those asso-
ciations naturally. And so should our kids. And they will once they know
how.
South: Good writing winds up with a flourish. The reader must
come to the end of the piece, story, essay and sigh deeply, “Mmm.”
Satisfying conclusions leave a good taste in your mouth like a sweet red
maraschino cherry on top of your favorite sundae. It’s not a contrived
restatement of the topic but rather a moment where the reader lingers
happily over the work he’s just read.
When I read an op-ed piece in the newspaper that I disagree with, I

can still be awed by the writing—if it has achieved north, east, west and
south.
Navigating the jungle

The writing compass will keep you on the journey. But the passage
vehicle might surprise you. This is no outboard-powered river boat or
plane on autopilot—no system that gets you to your destination
unscratched and composed. Rather, to achieve this sense of order and
rightness in writing you must come through a jungle of tangled words,
half-seen images, partially formed thoughts and dreadfully under-devel-
Freewriting has given us both a oped opinions. Freewriting is the mode of transport; it’s the scrappy 4-
wonderful tool. In fact, Ben is wheel drive jeep that will take you through the jungle with or without
working on a contest entry on
“Why My State is Great” and
trails or maps. The writing compass gets you back on track after you’ve
even requested setting the timer created a freewriting mess on paper.
Messes on paper
for his second pass.
“It helps me ‘cause I have to
keep my pencil going,” he said. There’s a kind of madness to writing, which is precisely why so many
of us fear it. On the one hand, we can be presented with a very clear
—Jane
assignment on a topic that we’re studying and feel utterly unable to
begin. Another time, however, the teacher is hopelessly vague about what
she wants, but you get a moment’s inspiration and off you go, pages of
44

words and even some things to laugh about. What’s the difference?
We all know the feeling of being “tongue-tied” or “pencil-paralyzed”
as I call it. The longer you stare at the paper, the tighter your temples
The freewriting exercises are
become and the more annoyed you feel at not writing anything down. helping me have a better idea
Yet you have no trouble whipping out some lucid and friendly emails to where my kids really are in their
your girlfriends. When our kids feel this paralysis, I call it the “blank abilities to think, express them-
page, blank stare” syndrome. Hand your child a blank page, you’ll get selves, and use correct spelling,
punctuation etc.
back a blank stare.
There are two modalities in writing: creative and critical thinking (as In workbooks and canned exer-
cises, they can fake it because
discussed in Chapter 3). They are not happy crewmates. To be creative, they know what’s expected—
or to generate fresh thought, often negates our ability to be attentive to they know how to fill in the
or critical of the mechanical details. Yet for years, teachers have insisted blanks, but that's not the same
on perfection in the areas of spelling, grammar and punctuation as pre- thing as mastering a skill and
bending it to one’s own purpos-
requisites to becoming good writers. And for many of us, that felt like a es. I want them to work at
cruel curse as we approached the blank page. using language to communicate,
Dare to write it wrong

not to get the answers right on
some worksheet!
To undo the curse, the writer must dare to write it wrong first. Yes, —Rachel
you read that right. The only way into the writing jungle is to write and
the only thing preventing any of us is the fear that we’ll make a mistake.
Stop worrying and start writing. Our kids need permission to make as
many mistakes as they like in order to begin the process. When they
focus on how the writing will turn out before they’ve begun, they inhibit
their creativity.
Let’s review where we’ve been so far. Each of our kids embarks on a
journey when he or she comes to the blank page. We want them to ven-
ture into new territory with their own perspectives and thoughts in tact.
We want their writing to come to life—Alive Writing.
By shedding the expectations of educators, editors and evil twins
(that version of our selves that snuffs the enthusiasm for writing right
out of our children), we can lead them into a new land, a place where
their creativity, ideas and thoughts can emerge in their wild, untamed
state.
Freewriting: Four-Wheel Drive Help

Freewriting is the four-wheel drive vehicle to the New World. It
takes kids to a place where there are possibilities without the fear of
being criticized corrected or condemned. Freewriting enables kids to be
in the driver’s seat where the writer and her thoughts on paper reign
supreme. Mom gets no credit for doing a good job as teacher, either.
Freewriting is entirely about the child and her own writing process… at
first. Lest you think I dropped a little acid and was tripping back to the
‘no rules, free love’ sixties, have no fear. I’ll let you and your editing,
grading, critiquing gremlin come back in a later chapter.
45

Before you launch whole-heartedly into freewriting, however, it’s

important to do a little preparatory work. Give your kids something to
write about, something they know well. Don’t feel obligated initially to
tie it to a specific school subject. Only do so if your kids feel excited
about it.
Freewriting is the act of keeping your pencil moving on a blank page
of paper for a predetermined amount of time. The results or contents are
unimportant to success. The most important part of the process is allow-
ing for chaos, musings, incomplete thoughts and ideas to bubble up from
within—uninhibited by a torturous assignment.
Instead, the writer is invited to explore any vein or thought as it
emerges. The only guideline then is to keep writing. This single rule pro-
vides a kind of reverse stress. Instead of focusing on trying to achieve a
perfect product, the child is required to produce.
“If the pencil has to keep moving I have to put words down… any
will do, but I can’t sit stuck,” he thinks to himself.
And so, the writer spills words onto paper, which can later be trans-
formed into some kind of a writing project… or not, depending on
what’s there.
The next section will show you how the process has worked and then
you’ll have the chance to try freewriting with your kids. It’s the single
most important component to this writing course and has freed hundreds
Freewriting teaches you to write of kids from the tyranny of “good writing.”
without thinking about writing. What follows is my favorite example of freewriting as a process.
We can usually speak without
Logan (11) writes
thinking about speech—without
thinking about how to form
words in the mouth and pro- Freewriting is a technique for getting at the insides of a child’s mind
nounce them and the rules of without the distractions of self-editing for grammar, punctuation and
syntax we unconsciously obey— spelling. Organization is also unnecessary for this exercise.
and as a result we can give
What follows are three freewrites by Logan (11) that occurred over a
undivided attention to what we
say. Not so writing... Most peo- span of a week. Watch how he moves from utter resistance (maybe he
ple experience an awkward and thought he was being tricked) to relishing the opportunity to say what he
sometimes paralyzing translat- actually thinks about.
ing process in writing: “Let’s
Here, then, is my favorite example of discovering the wonder of a
see, how shall I say this?”
child’s mind. (Sometimes we parents have to admit that we didn’t really
Freewriting helps you learn to
want to know it so well!)
just say it. Regular freewriting
helps make the writing process Logan started this free-write after his mother read my directions to him. I
transparent.
include the directions here so that you’ll understand his freewrites. (For the
—Peter Elbow complete Freewriting Guide, see the end of this chapter.)
Directions: Keep your pencil moving without stopping for ten minutes.
Writing With Power
Write everything that comes to mind, even seemingly unrelated com-

ments like, “I hate writing. This is too hard. I don’t think I would have
liked Columbus if I had met him.”
Don’t self-edit. Allow for bad handwriting, poor spelling, grammatical
46

errors, sentence fragments, lists of verbs, little arrows or quick draw-

ings. Get it all down without worry about how it looks, what order the
thoughts come in or whether or not it’s right.
Be outrageous. Use vocabulary and descriptions that sound over- Looking back, I imagine I was
board, silly or absurd. Make comparisons and connections to other
always writing. Twaddle it was
subjects (even if they seem at first glance to be irrelevant or unrelat-
too. But better far write twad-
ed).
dle or anything, anything, than
Keep writing no matter what until the bell rings, and then stop.
nothing at all.
—Katherine Mansfield
Logan took the directions literally.
this is stupid and this is dumb
this is no fun
I want to quit this is stupid
I hate this
I hate this
I’m sick of it
I want to play with Gus
I want to shoot my gun
I want to go get on the computer
Needless to say, his mother, was flummoxed by such a shrill response.

But being a good mom, Deb pressed ahead. She didn’t correct or critique
his work. Two days later he wrote again.
I want to go hunting with my dog and shoot five peasant and cook
them in the fryer. and I would shoot 10 quail and cook them. I cook
beef jerky and bring Gus in the house on the floor on Christmas Day. I
would go out to the land and build a fire with my dog and go camping
at Elk Mountain and climb to the top and repel of the side of it with us
and I would go to Colrado and go skiing and Gus would ski to.
This later effort took ten minutes. I know. You see all those mistakes.
Hold on. Remember the definition of a successful freewrite is that your
son or daughter writes for the full time allotment. That’s it.
This freewrite is a big improvement. Look at all the things Logan
wants to do. He wants to hunt. He likes the idea of eating what he
hunts. He identifies what he’d like to eat (beef jerky). He mentions
Christmas and his dog. He has grandiose ideas about what a great day
would be like if he were left to decide for himself. And even his dog
would ski. How about that!
What does his mother (and the mother in all of us) see, though? The
mistakes. Lots of them. He can’t spell Colorado. He runs his sentences
together. He misuses punctuation marks. And there is no topic sentence
followed by those neat supporting ones. Ugh!
47

Logan’s next free write four days later.

I want to go hunting a bear with my Dad and brother and my Gus and
I will kill a 500 hundred lb. grizzles and Gus killed a young bear and
attacked and his paw was cut open and bleeding. I put a piece of
bear fur on his toes to stop the bleed. I used a 10 gage slug. My Dad
used a 22 wincsster and brother used a 45 magm hand gun and blew
the brain clean out of the grizzles head and Gus was tired.
Now I’m sorry, but this last one just cracks me up every time I read
it. Logan is quite a guy’s guy, isn’t he? Let’s look at what he knows.
Logan knows that bear fur put on a cut will stop the bleeding. He knows
what gauge his slug is. He identifies his dad’s and his brother’s guns by
name. And he aptly describes the impact of such guns on a grizzly’s
brain. Finally he notes that Gus is tired. This last detail may be the most
interesting. After all, just a few sentences ago, Gus killed a young grizzly
single-pawed.
I love this writing not for its form but for its life. Logan has an
active mind life. He didn’t know four days earlier that what was running
through his head had value. He didn’t realize that paper and pen could
tell his mother and me more things about him than if he had simply
written about Columbus.
Don’t jump ahead of me now. I’m not saying that Logan should
never write about Columbus or Pocahontas. On the contrary. I want
Logan, your kids and my kids to write about all subjects.
Here’s the twist. I want them to write about those subjects from their
own perspectives, with their insights beliefs and imaginations fully acces-
sible to them. They must not edit the most interesting part of anyone’s
writing: the expression of themselves (otherwise known in this course as
Just get it down on paper, and “writer’s voice”).
then we’ll see what to do about Logan made a breakthrough that his mother has the chance to use
it. for the future. She can nurture the bursts of imagination and capacity for
—Maxwell Perkins detail. She can show Logan that what he thinks has value and is worth
recording. She can support his messy attempts to codify and explain his
thought life as he scratches it out on paper. As she does, Logan will
begin to believe that writing is not so different from thinking or talking.
What should we do next?

The inevitable follow-up question to an example like the one above
is what to do next. We mothers are not very comfortable with all those
mistakes. We want to find out when we can start cleaning things up. A
freewrite like Logan’s feels like dirty dishes on the counter. Sure they
remind us of a wonderful meal, but now can’t we just clean them up?
This freewrite is not like dirty dishes at all, however. A better image
to keep in mind is unprepared lasagna. The potential for a delicious meal
is only a little work away.
Let’s pretend for a minute that Logan is your son.
48

Mom: Logan, I didn’t know that you wanted to repel off the side of a
mountain. Sounds like you’re thinking a lot about hunting and camp-
ing and cooking. I could almost taste the beef jerky.
Logan: Yeah, I can’t wait to go with Dad again.
Mom: I like the way you use so much detail, though you grossed me
out with the brain being shot “clean out” of the grizzly’s head. Yuck!
Logan: (He smiles) Yeah, and did you know that the last time I went
with Dad…
Logan might be launched into another tale about hunting grizzlies.
By providing feedback like this, you’re giving your writer the chance to
hear what impact his writing had on you, the reader. He doesn’t need to
know what impact it had on you, the educator, until much later. Writers
write for readers, not for teachers. Start out as a reader.
If you start this way, you’ll set yourself up to teach your child how to
fix what’s wrong and he won’t even notice. Here’s why. When your child
realizes that what he wrote down is interesting to you, creates an emo-
tional response, makes you call his dad at work to hear it, he’ll be inter-
ested in making it better. And we all know that punctuation makes writ-
ing readable. If your child sees that his punctuation improves the enjoy-
ment or communication of his piece, he’ll be much more responsive to
your comments. But let’s not go there yet. This chapter is about freedom
from mechanics—freedom to write!
One writing teacher that thinks outside the box is Peter Elbow. He’s
written several wonderful books. The one I like best is called Writing I praise loudly; I blame softly.
with Power. Every couple of pages I wrote things in the margins like, —Catherine the Great
“Hey! That’s what I do!” and “Wow. Glad to know what that’s called.”
He’s the champion of freewriting in the education world and has had an
uphill battle getting the attention of fellow academics.
The following quote is from a book called Everyone Can Write. (My
comments are in brackets).
Sometimes a teacher or peer [or mom] will take a special role and
function as an ally. The simplest definition of an ally reader is some-
one who cares more about the writer than about the writing—who
cares more about helping and being a friend than about improving the
writing. I think of an ally as someone who sees that I am good even
when I write something that reveals selfishness or meanness or limit-
ed vision [or lousy punctuation, grammar and spelling]. When an ally
reader notices these things in what I’ve written, he or she may point
them out—if I ask for critical feedback—but I can always feel the feed-
back as only a part or subset of caring for me and seeing my good-
ness. Ally readers are precious and should be cherished. To have one
ally is a lot; I’ve had long periods with none.
You are the long term, ultimately committed ally reader that your
child needs. You have the privilege of caring more about the person doing
the writing than about the words on the page. You are the one who
49

watches the cool, smart, intelligent, and unique person you know as your
child unfold in writing. And you get to mirror back to your son or
daughter the pearl inside his or her soul... even when he or she writes
Ideas are presented [in great
works of art] not in isolation junk and fusses and fumes at your assignments.
and detachment, but in their To become an ally, we have to put down our guns. We have to join
totality of origin and relation- forces with the child. Though I know you haven’t seen yourself as the
ship; they are not abstractions, enemy in the task of writing, it’s important to see yourself from the per-
general propositions, philosoph-
ical generalizations; they are liv- spective your child has. Ask your child what it would look like to work
ing truths—truths, that is, together on a project. Ask him what he needs from you. I’ve found that
which have become clear by many moms can enter in to their children’s writing struggles more com-
long experience, and to which passionately if they take the time to freewrite alongside their kids. You
men stand, or have stood, in
personal relations. They are might want to try it too.
ideas, in other words, which Freewriting is a tool that will work for your kids for the rest of their
stand together, not in the order writing lives. It’s not a warm-up or a technique for getting past writer’s
of formal logic, but of the ‘logic block. It’s not an assignment to use once and then get back to real writ-
of free life.’
ing. Freewriting is real writing. It’s the means by which writers tap their
—Hamilton Wright
thoughts and imaginations without any of the usual pressures—the
Books and Culture
expectations of readers, editors or teachers. Those who make freewriting
a part of their private writing practices become better and better at find-
ing their own thoughts and translating them into written words.
Freewriting helps your kids to run roughshod over the obstacles that
prevent them from forward progress in writing. Instead of maneuvering
around the fears of misspellings and punctuation errors, freewriting gets
your child right onto the trail of useful words.
At this stage, your goal should be to reinforce that the ideas are more
Writing is an exploration. You important than the shape of the writing. This is the critical difference
start from nothing and you between the way educators teach writing and the way professional writ-
learn as you go. ers talk about writing. Form follows freedom, not the other way around.
—E. L. Doctorow After a few successful freewrites (success is defined as having filled
many lines on the paper with any words that come spilling out of your
child’s head), you can begin the process of gently leading your students
to better writing. Better writing is called revising and most people don’t
The faster I write the better my
output. If I’m going slow I’m in like it, at first.
Put your kids in the driver’s seat: Freewriting

trouble. It means I’m pushing
the words instead of being
pulled by them. This process is a huge relief to almost every kid I know whose moth-
—Raymond Chandler er has tried it. If your child has any trouble, be a detective and get to the
bottom of what’s happening. All writing problems are reasonable and can
be understood. (See the Chapter 5 for techniques that unstick stuck
writers). If your kids have legitimate struggles with writing, you must
encourage them to talk and discover what’s in the way. Once the prob-
lems are understood, introduce freewriting. It really is the key to becom-
ing a competent writer.
Footnote: For kids who’ve had bad experiences with writing or who
find it difficult to face the blank page, use freewriting exclusively for
50

awhile. Don’t edit the results or correct it. Simply allow your child to
write and then read his writing with nothing but supportive feedback
from you (or no feedback). If you can’t think of anything positive to say, Natalie Goldberg’s rules for
simply say, “Thank you.” “Timed Writing.”
And by the way, we aren’t obligated to read everything our kids 1. Keep your hand moving.
write. For very stuck writers, it might be a good idea to give that control (Don’t pause to reread the line
over to your child. Ask him or her to freewrite once a week but allow you have just written. That’s
your son or daughter to decide whether or not to share the results with stalling and trying to get con-
trol of what you’re saying.)
you. Re-establishing trust and allowing writing to be a safe place to dis-
close oneself must be the first order of business. 2. Don’t cross out.
(That is editing as you write.
I recommend scheduling a weekly freewrite for eight weeks. Keep all Even if you write something
the writing together in a folder. At the end of two months, pull out all of you didn’t mean to write, leave
the freewrites and let your child look over his writing in the context of it.)
several works. If your child finds one that he is particularly fond of, he 3. Don’t worry about spelling,
may choose that one to edit and revise. However, if your son or daughter punctuation or grammar.
shows no interest in revising, keep freewriting. It takes awhile for kids (Don’t even care about staying
within the margins and lines on
who’ve learned to hate writing to believe that what they write is good, in the page.)
fact, good enough to be worth revision.
4. Lose control
Without further ado, here is the Freewriting exercise.
5. Don’t think. Don’t get logical.
Guide to Freewriting 6. Go for the jugular.
Freewriting works best when the student knows the topic for writ- (If something comes up in your
ing. Some kids do best being told to write about whatever they want. writing that is scary or naked,
dive right into it. It probably
Others need you to help them pick a topic. I often let kids freewrite a
has lots of energy.)
list first. I ask them to list everything they know lots about in a five-
—Writing Down the Bones
minute rapid fire session. Once we have that list, I let the student pick
one of the topics for the freewriting session (and depending on the child,
I usually would get the list one day and do the freewriting the next day).
I taught freewriting for the first
If the child runs out of things to say and there is still time left on the time to a group of fifteen
buzzer, tell your kids to feel free to change topics or shift gears mid-ses- homeschooling moms. As I
sion. The point is to make it easy to write. read the directions aloud, all of
the sudden, one of the women
For topic driven freewrites, remember to supply ample experience
shot her hand in the air.
with the subject (engage the five senses, read several different perspec-
“I can’t believe you said to ‘rub’
tives, use various media, and take notes). Allow your child to spend time our kids’ shoulders!” she
digesting and mulling over the content. Encourage him/her to talk about exclaimed. “My son asked me
the subject with several people. Once your student has a sense of owner- this morning if I would massage
ship of the subject for writing, it’s time to get some words on paper. his shoulders and neck before
writing and I told him, ‘No.
Here’s how. This is school and I’m not rub-
Directions for mom:

bing shoulders during the
school hours.’
Set the timer for ten minutes (five if it’s the first time). “Needless to say, the writing
Rub your kids’ shoulders.
session didn’t go very well.”
Encourage them to wiggle, flex their fingers, crack their necks

—jb
and adjust their papers and chairs.
51

Go over the following guidelines with your child:

• Keep your pencil moving without stopping for ten minutes.
Alan and Nathan decided that • Write everything that comes to mind—even seemingly unrelated
10 minutes was too much time, comments like, “I hate writing. This is too hard. I don’t think I would
but were afraid 5 minutes was have liked Columbus if I had met him.”
• Don’t self-edit. Allow for bad handwriting, poor spelling, grammati-
not enough, so an executive
cal errors, sentence fragments, lists of verbs, little arrows or quick

decision was made to set the
drawings. Get it all down without worry about how it looks, what
timer for 6 minutes. Then they
order the thoughts come in or whether or not it is right.

complained it was not enough
time!
• Be outrageous. Use vocabulary and descriptions that sound over-
board, silly or absurd. Make comparisons and connections to other
They were very enthusiastic
subjects (even if they seem at first glance to be irrelevant or unrelat-
about this project, although they
ed).
were unsure what to write
• Keep writing no matter what until the bell rings, and then stop.
about. So I explained they could
write about anything, but they
After a freewrite, tell your kids to:

still wanted a topic. Eventually
we spent a few minutes dis-
• Take a break. Drink a glass of water, do ten jumping jacks, run
cussing a topic that I thought
around the block or flop on the couch.
they knew something about (for
example, Nathan wanted to
write about machine guns, but • Come back to your paper without a pencil and just read it.
• Don’t let me read it. You read it aloud to me when you’re ready.
as I asked him if he had ever
(Mom: Don’t read the freewriting before you hear it. You’ll undoubt-
seen one or shot one, he decided
edly miss the brilliance for all the spelling and grammar errors.
on something else.) I again
Instead, when your child reads it to you, look for the continuity of
stressed to them to write down
thought, or the bursts of expression, or the flashes of insight. Do not

whatever they were thinking
think of this raw writing as the product.)

about.
Guidelines for Mom

—Jane
(Their freewriting results are on (How to respond to a freewrite)

1. Identify the strong elements.
the opposite page in the mar-
Find at least two. Example: “Virile is a very descriptive term.” or “I
gin).
didn’t know you knew how a tank worked.” Be concrete and positive.
The fact that your son or daughter actually filled several lines on a
page with words is worthy of affirmation.
2. Examine the writing for substance.
If there is little real content, it may be an indication that you sched-
uled a freewrite before your child has absorbed enough material
related to the topic. If this is the case, notice it without disapproving
the insufficient results. Instead, say something like, “I see that we
need to read a few more books about World War II.”
If there is enough content to work with, lead your child to discover
ways to expand and improve what was written (See Chapter 7
before going any further with revision). Always focus on content first.
Improve the meaning of the piece before noticing the mechanics.
Ask questions like, “Which countries fought in the war?” or “Can you
describe how the cocoa looked in addition to how it tasted?”
3. Highlight the areas that need development.
If you see that your child has included information or details related
52

to the topic, choose the ones that are vague or poorly expressed.
Ask for more writing, but limit each timed writing session to one spe-
cific area. Take out a clean sheet of paper and free-write some
more about that specific area. Trebuchets are cool and very
Narrow the focus (how the cocoa looks) and expand the writing (set
neat. I’d like to have one. I also
the timer for another session of freewriting). This process can occur
want a fourwheeler. except four-
indefinitely in the generative stage of writing. Be careful, however,

wheelers move and trebuchets
not to require too much writing in a day so that the words are fresh
don’t. Trebuchets are very good
and prolific. Don’t tire out your young writer and thereby crush his or
siege weapons during the mid-
her enthusiasm. This last bit (narrowing and expanding) is covered

dle ages. Just like four wheelers
in greater detail in Chapter 7.

are popular now. They were
very destructive machines. They
Freewriting samples
could shoot really far. They
could even shoot me into the
As I’ve said, there’s no such thing as a “correct” freewrite. But to help air. I watched a show on tre-
you get a feel for what freewriting might look like, I’ve included some buchets and I learned a lot and
samples from my students of various ages and both genders. One thing I built my own out of legos. It
can shoot really far. Trebuchets
to note: boys tend to write about violence, guns, war, attacks, violent were the equivalent of the
video games, machine guns, and violence. Did I mention violence? I have atomic bomb during the middle
to overemphasize this point because so many mothers have come to me ages. I would like one in my
horrified that what was actually lurking in their precious boys’ minds backyard and then I could crush
the people I didn’t like with my
were thoughts of blowing up the world! brothers who I would shoot out
We mothers are extremely uncomfortable with these subjects. Boys of the trebuchet.
seem to know it and when they write, they feel reduced to uninteresting —Alan (12)
topics that I call “mother-pleasers.” Boys especially hate this restriction,
but they also can’t articulate it. We ask him to write about how autumn
makes him feel and the boy stares up at you with blank eyes and says,
“How should I know? Cold, I guess.” We’re stunned. But if we say
“What kind of bomb would you use to blow up the bad guy in Red Alert This freewrite is based on a car-
Two? Please describe that scenario in detail.” toon guy Nathan made up and
“Well, now you’re talkin’,” he thinks. likes to draw.
Our boys believe that what they really care, think and fantasize about the tiki man is a super hero and
is not acceptable to us. They become cut off from their real thoughts, started when he was on easter
opinions and beliefs. Then they claim they can't write. island looking at the tiki statues
and heard drums and was shot
I’ve found this to be entirely normal (though weird—I’m a girl and by a tiki man with a dart and
don’t get it). So don’t panic. Just know that boys are fascinated by stuff found out that he had tiki pow-
that explodes. ers and now fights crime. he has
Girls tend to write about relationships (no brainer, right?), horses, cool attacks like tikiarrow that
burns a hole in whoever it hits
nature and stories of puppies and kittens. How’s that for stereotyping? he also has a tiki shield that can
But I’ve seen it over and over. Your kids may be exceptions to these hop on and fly the shield can
“rules” but I thought I’d let you in on my observations from teaching repel bullets
hundreds of kids, just in case. —Nathan (10)
The examples included in this chapter have the original spelling and
punctuation—or lack of it. And in some cases, I’ve included mothers’
comments so you can see how the process unfolds in a typical home.
53

Freewriting Samples
The Wild Fire Nerf Gun

The wild fire is a rapid fire nerf gun that can shoot twenty darts in less
Freewriting Sample
then thirty seconds I want it caus it is a big fast rapid fire harmless
chain gun it only comes with twenty darts but you can buy extra darts
Chance and The County Fair
for it they come in packs of ten. the darts are easy to load all you do
The first time I participated in
is slip them in the holes, pump thirty times and fire it is realy good for
the Highland County Fair was
a nerf fight the darts are small and orang they fly pretty far this gun
September, 1998. The horse
comes with a strap so it is easyer to cary.

that I used was named Chance.
Chance is a Tobiano Paint. The
best thing about Chance is that Shane, (10)
one of her spots looks like a
horse head. She's a good horse Isra’s (10) three freewrites
Layying, Isra’s mother, comments on the process in italics.
to ride, but she has a bumpy
trot. We were in three different
Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla “me not
classes in the 4-H show. We got
going to ryme
fourth place in each class. And I
had a good time at the fair.
—Marcella (11) That was the first day. The next day I encouraged him to write about soc-
cer, which he knows much more about. This is what we got:
It’s a handball in the goal are (area) Grace is goally Isra’s kicking the
penalty. Isra kicks the ball at Grace. Grace runs away.AAAAAHHHHH!
The next one was a word for word quote of something from a movie. I was
pretty discouraged by that point. Then we tried making a list of the things he
knows. It helped me to remember that he’s very interested in a new book he just
got, Disaster Science. He chose to write about tornadoes.
We read the book together, tried an experiment and checked the word in
World Book, which had some short videos and sound effects. This really helped
him. This is what he finally wrote:
Tornados are very dangerous. F-5 is biggest up to about half a mile
wide.
When over the water a tornado becomes a waterspout. A tornado in
the dessert becomes a dustdevil.
This morning Isra wrote this. The exciting thing is that he asked for more
time! You can imagine my surprise.
When a volcano erupps lava shoots out a hole at the top. It also
launchs huge boulders high into the sky. Clouds of ash up tp about
1000'F also come out of the hole at the top. Tornadoes are also graet
disasters. F (funnl) 5 being the largest up to half a mile wide has wind
speeds inside it up to 300 mph. A waterspout is when a tonado starts
over the water. A strong waterspout can only overturn a small boat.
Isra (10)
54

Football
Football is one of the coolest sports on the planet! It's a sport where
you have more than one way to score you can also either run the ball
or pass the ball or punt it away!
Freewriting exercise
Football is a real fun sport because when you run the ball you can get
Trip to Marmon Valley Farm
tackled and when you pass the ball you have to get away from the
defenders, catch it and not let the defenders intersept it.
We went to Marmon Valley
Farm for a mother/daughter
One day I was playing a game vs my brother Zach and the last time I
weekend. They have only quar-
played him he killed me so he said “hey Luke I bet you cant beat me.”
ter horses. My horse was Zane.
But I knew I could beat him and after 1 quarter I was wining 14 to
He was chestnut with blaze. We
nothing! but then we had to stop playing because my mom had to use
went with mom, Emily and her
the compuder!
mom.... square dancing, horse
grooming....pulled burs out of
So now you know what football is. It's the best game ever and it's fun
mane and tail, horse back rid-
on the compuder and outside!
ing, crafts...rode some more.
Barn dance devotions, bed and
Luke (10) breakfast....had deer, cats, kit-
Another potentially violent freewrite

tens, a white buck, puppies,
dogs, peacocks, horses.....a goat
Jack’s father hoped that the FBI wasn’t tracking my class! who tried to open the door with
I looked up in the World book under explosives and found a whole

his mouth and almost succeed-
bunch of places in the World Book to look under, explaining how the
ed.....also llama, sheep, ram,
contents of different explosives work, such as, TNT, cordite – which is

chickens, pot belly pig, minia-
3 times as powerful as TNT, and depth charges. What impressed me

ture horse, donkey
most, is that one explosive - 1 1/2 times more powerful than TNT, had
cows....learned to saddle west-
ammonia and nitroglycerin. I also, found dust explosions, which

ern...learned to post... to post
explode from a cloud of dust. If you ignite one part of it, it's a chain
lift yourself up out of the saddle
with knees and legs when hors-
reaction and it makes the whole cloud a fire ball. If it's in an enclosed es right shoulder is out.. .I liked
area, it will explode. Dust of sugar, and other things like that, even this....when you post it is 3
some metals are used. times smoother ...we rode in
Jack (10) the pouring rain, got soaked,
but had lots of fun....horse
I was so surprised with the last part, in which he was able to dictate stepped on my foot...horses
were Zane, Mia, Zack, Spur,
straight off the top of his head to me with such clarity, and ability to remem- Peanut Butter......Peanut Butter
ber. You were so right about having them write about what interests them. was old.....the 2 breeds they
have are Percherons and
—Lynda Quarter horses....really muddy
National Gymnastic Meet

trails....Spur tried to bite me
about 5 times.
This year I qualified to go to the National Championship on double-

mini. It was held June 2000. I competed against 60 girls on level 6, 9-
—Elizabeth (11)
10 year olds. My first pass was a straddle, pike and my second pass
was a straddle, half turn. I was excited to be able to compete. There
was six groups and I was in the third group. My score was 10.2. I was
the highest score so far. Then a girl in the last group got a higher
score than me. It was a 10.5. So she got first place and I got second.
I went home with a silver medal. I was happy that I was in the top
three.
Emma (9)
55

Running in soccer
Running is so fast just the world feels like it will start running to pass
someone up gives you encouragement when you run it feels like run-
ning from a predator especially when you run a race the wind howls in
your ears even though there isn't any I feel like running even when
I'm tired seeing people run reading their minds they have determina-
tion DO NOT fail! I don't know why but your feet just go when you
stretch it's as boring as an ice cream lid but you know it's for the good
working out it's so hard your muscles are like liquid when you are
hurting you walk like a flamingo and a wobbling animal mix yet when
you run you feel revived you have a pet skunk named goober you
have to run from everything bad just imagine everything you hate
behind you then just run away from it fast like anything I can't write it's
silly my dog runs faster without even really trying then my hand hurts
so when you run you can't feel like anything is holding you back”
Leanna (13)
Leanna’s final version based on the original freewrite
I feel sweat dripping down my temples. My eyes are half-blinded from
the sunscreen I’m using to protect me from the sun’s 108° heat. Half
of my mind is in dreamland right now, but fortunately the other half
just noticed that one of my teammates kicked the soccer ball up to
me, a forward. I’m sprinting up the field with the ball, I see the goal
and the goalie, but it seems like everything else is blocked out. I hear
wind rushing in my ears even though there isn’t any. I taste my chap-
stick that doesn’t seem to be working anymore. I hear shouts and
cheers from the sidelines and my teammates. I smell torn up grass
and body odor. I feel my feet pushing off from the hard ground, then I
whack the ball right past the goalie’s outstretched fingers.
SCOOOOORRRRRE! I’m grinning and I excitedly run back to the
halfway line. My team and I are hyped up and ready to face the gold
medal Norwegians!!!!
56

Chapter 5
Mom’s Survival Kit

Rescuing Reluctant Writers
Writer’s Block and Bad Assignments
hen I was nine months pregnant and living in Morocco, I did a

W wild and harebrained thing. I went on a mule pack trip into the
Atlas Mountains for four days. We walked on foot up shale and rocks
and we rode down on donkeys (I did a lovely dramatization of the virgin
entering Bethlehem in my ugly blue maternity dress on the back of an
underfed donkey). We slept on the concrete floors of Moroccan moun-
tain dwellings.
The donkeys made it possible for me to go. They packed in all the
supplies and carried my extra pair of tennis shoes. I was able to relax and
enjoy the exotic experience because I had the details handled. Being
pregnant meant that I couldn’t carry an additional burden on my own.
At the risk of overdoing this analogy, our kids face writing in much
the same condition. They feel like we’re sending them up a huge moun-
Ben acts as though he is allergic
tain (or into a dense jungle) with no supplies when we assign a writing to writing at times!
project. So how can we help?
—Jane
First we need to ensure that our kids are pregnant with information,
impressions, ideas and opinions. They must be saturated with the topic
well enough to speak freely about it if asked. But if we’re sure they’re
pregnant with material for writing, we can’t expect that they can pack in
all their supplies to write about it at the same time.
Before we send them off writing, we must make sure that their mules
are packed, that resources are easily within reach to help them out when
they get stuck. Supplies for writing include things like a list of verbs that
the student makes to help her write a poem. Or it might be a photo-
graph of the painting she means to describe. Some kids like to start writ-
ing by making lists of all the items that they’ll write about. Others do
well to respond to a set of questions (as we demonstrated in the Keen
Observation exercise).
57

CHAPTER 5 MOM’S SURVIVAL KIT
And one of the most obvious and overlooked resources for writing
are notes made from conversations about the topic. Whenever your kids
say something brilliant about any subject, take notes. Then plunk down
that piece of paper in front of your child when he or she writes.
Maps, reference books, charts, notecards and a cleared desk all help
writers who are stuck. The point is that most kids have trouble pulling
up the facts they need while paying attention to their subjective thoughts
about a topic. Throw in the need to write perfectly and you’ll have one
stuck writer!
As you read ahead, keep these images in mind: pregnant with inter-
nalized information or experience and well-supplied with materials that
help your child write.
Barefoot and pregnant

Nothing is more deflating than being asked to write about a subject
that draws a complete blank. The information may even be inside your
C.H. Knoblauch and Lil child, but the wrong kind of assignment won’t draw it out. Here are some
Branon… pointed out [that]
examples of writing assignments that miscarry every time.
students produce assignments,
not in order to be heard, but in (Though the contents that follow are the result of real dialogues between
order to give teachers some-
thing to judge on the basis of mothers and their kids, the names have been changed and some details manip-
their agenda. Since the teacher’s ulated to highlight the evil twin in each of us.)
• My dear Theo, write about the field trip you took two months ago. I
agenda is usually the only one
forgot to assign it then, but you really need it for your portfolio.
that matters, students have to
Come on, Theo, can’t you just write a little something? The big
puzzle out what the instructor
boat—Oh, what was it called? You know, that Mayflower look-alike.

wants—what in Knoblauch and
Listen, I’ll call Karen and ask her. Just start writing something and I’ll
Branon’s term constitutes the
find out the name for you…

‘Ideal Text.’
• Let’s read about Columbus in the history book. (Two paragraphs

“To the extent that the teacher’s
later) Now Deedee, I want you to write a paragraph about

expectations are not satisfied,”
Columbus. It doesn’t have to be long. (Pause) Okay, just three sen-

they explain, “authority over the
tences. (Pausing with impatience) Here let me write it for you—you

writing is stolen from the writer
dictate to me. What do you mean you can’t think of anything to say?
by means of comments, oral
(Look of shock and dismay) I don’t want to reread the book myself,
and written, that represent the
thankyouverymuch. Watch your attitude young lady! I want you to

teacher’s agenda, whatever the
write something!
writer’s intentions may initially
have been.” That agenda dis-
• Done with breakfast, Fitzwilliam? (In a cheery voice) Okay, let’s start
torts communication, when
with your daily journal entry. Write something that has happened
teachers, who alone know what
today. (Mother reads what’s written; her lips tighten) I am not inter-
Ideal Text they have in mind,
ested in what kind of Cheerios you ate for breakfast. Don’t goof off! I
display little interest in under-
want this done in fifteen minutes or else… (Voice rises to a frighten-

standing anything that differs
ing pitch)
from it.
• Kitty, write a paragraph describing a baseball bat. Don’t go get it

—Silberman
now. Sean will grab it and hit Fiona over the head. I know you don’t
Growing Up Writing
like baseball, but that’s the assignment in the book. Just try to
remember what it looks like and how it feels in your hand. What
does it smell like? (Reads first sentence: "I like baseball bats
because they are nice.") That’s not what I asked for. (Voice rattles
and eyes narrow menacingly)
58

• The writing manual says to write about Christmas. You can write
about anything you want as long as it has to do with Christmas,
Eduardo. I don’t believe that you can’t think of anything to write. We
love Christmas. Just a few sentences will be enough for me. Let me
start it for you. (Pleading with insincerity) I’ll let you play Nintendo
Find a subject you care about
after lunch if you will just write this essay. (Carrot dangling ineffec-
and which you in your heart feel
tively while son forgets everything about Christmas in favor of fan-

others should care about. It is
tasies about Mario)

this genuine caring, not your
games with language, which will
• Here’s one of Aesop’s fables. All you have to do is to pick three of

be the most compelling and
the adjectives and change them into new ones. Then see if you can
seductive element in your style.
write new sentences that improve on Aesop’s. I know you are only —Kurt Vonnegut
in fifth grade, Millie, and that Aesop’s writing has withstood cen-
turies of scrutiny, but the curriculum wouldn’t ask you to do it if you
couldn’t. Just three little words. Pleeease.
Welcome to the theatre of the absurd as it occurs around kitchen

tables across America! We mothers criticize our kids for their whining
and complaining. The truth often is (though I hate to admit it) that we
whine, cajole, manipulate, threaten, bargain and plead with our kids—all
to get a few words down on compressed wood particles. As Charlie
Brown says, “Good grief!”
Ground rules for writing assignments

Writing assignments that don’t draw on your child’s knowledge base
are of little value. I’ve seen workbook pages up the wazoo that make a
child redistribute adjectives, work a sentence like some kind of taffy pull
Form is therefore indissoluble.
and reorganize obvious and pedantic instructions for things like building It cannot be cut and studied in
birdhouses. To develop a good writer—a clear communicator—select pieces. We cannot see and
quality assignments. Don’t be afraid to throw one out, to modify it or to appreciate the form of a face by
examining the nose as separated
create your own. (Chapter 11—Dumb Assignments)
from the eyes or the mouth. If
I’m not saying that all workbooks should be shredded. I’m appealing the form is broken down into
to your common sense. Can you imagine learning to paint by taking Da subdivisions and auxiliary parts
Vinci’s work and erasing parts of it only to be told to recreate the nose of for the sake of explanation, this
is unfortunately a sign that the
the Mona Lisa (and do it even better, if you can)? Study the Mona Lisa.
true form has not been per-
Admire it. Analyze it. Attempt to reproduce her on your own canvas. ceived as such at all.
But don’t try to make a series of noses isolated from the whole face.
—Thomas Dubay, S.M.
Dictation, copywork and effective reading of good literature should The Evidential Power of Beauty
be the sources of exposure to the “masters.” To imitate the writing of an
expert is not the same as copying their very words. Imitation is a sophis-
ticated skill for young children. Even high schoolers find it challenging.
Instead emphasize the following: your child’s developing voice, his
unity of thought and structure, the attention to detail in his experience
and how to start and finish with a flourish. To do this, we need lots of
assignments that make the most of your child’s knowledge base. “Write
what you know” is the oldest and wisest advice writing coaches give.
Where does your child begin?

Getting it all down can paralyze your kids as they sit to write. Anne
59

Lamott (author of Bird by Bird, a hilarious and helpful book about the
writing process) has helped me tremendously in this area. She tricks her-
self into writing by looking at a one-inch picture frame. She tells herself
I always do the first line well,
but have trouble doing the oth-
to write the smallest bit of information that describes an image to fit
ers. inside it. We can help our kids narrow the duty of their current project
—Moliére
by encouraging them to write about just one small thing. One detail at a
time and nothing more at that sitting.
Is it the way the silk worm prepares his cocoon? How about the taste
of corn pone that the southern soldiers ate during the Civil War? Don’t
feel guilty for going slowly. Keep the sessions short and productive. The
results may be meager in quantity. Don’t despair. Look for true involve-
ment in the writing process first. And that comes with smaller doses of
writing at each sitting.
“What if my child is supposed to write a state report? Do I really
have to have them write one tiny bit of information at a time? Won’t that
take forever?”
Yes. It’ll take forever. I’m not going to lie to you. Get used to it. One
small step at a time that encourages thorough investigation and attention
to detail is far superior to a bland, typical, schoolish report of regurgitat-
ed encyclopedia information.
The Telephoto lens

Sometimes your kids will have too much information to choose
from.
After determining the subject matter for the writing assignment, ask
your kids to close their eyes. Give them a few minutes to really see what
they’re looking at. Ask them what they see. Once they see it, suggest they
zoom in like the telephoto lens on a camera. Ask them what they see
now.
You can say, “Get that lens focused and squint with your inner eye to
see what is there.” As they indicate that they have made this adjustment,
ask them to describe in words what they see. You can ask all kinds of
questions like the ones I mentioned for describing the concrete object.
Then write down what they say.
When the writer closes his eyes and zooms in on a picture forming
in his mind’s eye, he eliminates thoughts and distractions. He gives him-
self to the task of seeing and perceiving instead of thinking thoughts and
words. From there, it’s much easier to find the words to go with the
image.
The trick is to lighten the load for your kids. Only require writing
for what they can see well. If the process seems torturously slow, resign
yourself to it. Speed is only gained as successes are accumulated. Your
kids need to feel that the efforts they make produce real results that are
not painful to them. As they do, their increased confidence will promote
speed. Don’t ask your baby to run before she walks, okay?
60

Allow your writers to write freely (badly) at first. Pack their mules
with their own comments and observations about the writing topic.
Limit the initial writing session to a bite-sized piece of the whole enchi-
We must learn to regard people
lada. Your kids will be lured into the realm of Alive Writing and will less in the light of what they do
escape the prison of writing perfectionism. or omit to do, and more in the
It’s not uncommon to take an entire month for one descriptive para- light of what they suffer.
graph when you first start out. Don’t work on the project every day. Do —Dietrich Bonhoeffer
something each week. My rule of thumb is one writing project per Letters and Papers from Prison
month that goes through all the steps in the writing process.
Inspector Mom
Most of us feel like we’re banging our heads against a wall when we
We need love and creative
start coaxing our children to write. We bellow, complain, guilt and imagination to do constructive
manipulate our kids. I know I have. But don’t do it. Repeat after me: all work.
writing problems are reasonable and can be fixed. —Paula Ollendorf
But I know you’ll forget this rule. Even after you shout, lose your
temper and wander off to the kitchen resigning yourself to a homeschool
without a writing course, you can still come back to look for the clues to
what the problem is. In fact, the best information you can share with
your kids is that their difficulties with writing are reasonable, under-
standable, and possible to overcome.
Writing is about telling the truth and the truth starts off the page.
When we assume a posture while writing (writing for an audience that
intimidates us, or imitating a style or are feeling too tired from a late
night movie but are pretending not to notice), we inhibit our most cre-
ative, truth-telling selves. When this occurs, there are two possible
results: the resistant writer won’t write (child stakes his flag at the
Author’s Alamo and has sworn to die there) or the compliant student
will produce a stiff, predictable and uninteresting work.
Either way is a loss for the budding author. The first student con-
firms to himself that he isn’t capable of writing. The second believes that
writing is boring and to be endured. She misses out on the learning
opportunity that her writing is meant to produce.
And here’s the biggest catch of all. There is no trick or reliable solu-
tion to the problem of writing from scratch. There are methods, exercis-
es, and the experiences of others to guide us. However, the real key to
breaking out of the trap is telling the truth. Pause, tell your child to close
his eyes and then allow him to reflect internally on what is in the way. As
he feels your care and attention, many times you’ll be handed the key
that will unlock his door.
A Learning experience
I’ve given you some “tricks” anyway, to help the average kid beat the
writer’s block rap. For most kids, most of the time, these ideas work. But
they are not the same as the discovery that comes from the individual
61

child about how he or she best breaks free from those traps that block
writing. In my home, I came to this realization while working on this
chapter.
When I face the desolate
impossibility of writing five One morning I gave my twelve-year-old son a letter-writing assign-
hundred pages a sick sense of ment based on a novel we were reading. He responded enthusiastically
failure falls on me and I know I and launched into his first draft (a freewriting exercise). He was barreling
can never do it. This happens
along until ten minutes into it—he froze. I coaxed him, asked helpful
every time. Then gradually I
write one page and then anoth- questions, gently suggested a few things, prodded him a bit more insis-
er. One day's work is all I can tently (read: threatened to take away his computer games, unicycle and
permit myself to contemplate future down payment on his first house unless he got writing), clenched
and I eliminate the possibility of
my teeth and finally yelled at the poor kid, “What is your problem? You
ever finishing.
know this stuff. Why are you freezing up now?”
—John Steinbeck We ended in quite a conflict. And all I could think was “I thought I
had already solved these problems. I’m writing a book about how to solve
these problems. What’s wrong with him?” (Notice my ego! Ouch!)
I called my husband and vented my frustration all over him. I had to
confess that I was allowing Noah’s difficulties to say something about my
adequacy as a teacher.
I paced a bit in the other room, took a few deep breaths and started
over.
I’d left out the key ingredient to the exercise: Noah! And as
“Inspector Mom” it was my duty to look for the clues to see what had
gone wrong for him.
He had started well, but couldn’t finish. I asked him about it. Once
he realized that I wasn’t going to attack him with both fists and several
of my teeth, he could think clearly enough to tell me some things.
“I have all these pictures in my head—no words. And I want to tell
the story but I keep forgetting what exactly came next. And I don’t think
I could ever finish it today if I did.”
Wow. A very useful mouthful. When he finally let me read his writ-
ing, I saw for myself that he was trying to recount the story in the order
of events down to the smallest detail. That was not what I had asked for,
but it was what he’d interpreted the assignment to be. Suddenly the task
was too large and difficult and paralyzing.
When we identified the “demon” that had descended upon him, we
could “cast it out.” I told him about the one-inch picture frame and the
telephoto lens. I said this, “Close your eyes. Now tell me what you see.”
He described the sailing ship from the book.
“Now zoom in a little closer. What do you see now?”
“The mast and forecastle with a man in it,” he said. He kept zoom-
ing in and talking; I kept writing. After a little while, I read back what I
had written for him and asked him to take over.
He was more willing by then and my notetaking now got in the way.
When I told him his time was up, he said, “Let me just finish this one
62

sentence and then I can read it to you.” Bingo!

By breaking the writing into small parts, Noah could gather the
mental and emotional steam needed to finish the project. We stopped
The most important lesson I
after fifteen more minutes so he wouldn’t hit that wall again. have learned is that writing is
Where there’s a will, there’s no way

completed in stages. As I con-
tinue to remind myself to stay
Unfortunately, not all writing problems turn out to be writing prob- focused on which aspect of
lems. Some of our kids are simply throwing hissy fits and need to be told writing I am teaching (creativi-
ty, exploration, description,
so. By junior high, these fits are especially ugly. Their hormonal bodies editing, etc.), I am a more
give them power. We mothers are first hurt and then angry. effective guide. My child will
Ruth Beechik reminded me that a lot of writing that started out be encouraged through the
fresh and unspoiled in elementary school becomes anemic in junior high. process rather than pushed; the
end product will come with a
Our kids have been in school for years now and are less enamored with lot of patience and hard work,
the daily grind, I mean, routine. They are savvy enough to think of and I will refuse the temptation
short-cuts to finishing their school work and balk at being made to put of expecting perfection at the
out extra exertion. front end.
Writing requires effort and reflection. Some of our boys, especially, —Terry
don’t want to engage in that kind of work. They look for quick fixes and
entertainment.
In addition, many of us have been home teaching for years. We are
tired and the pressure to do a good job is mounting. When we hit the
junior high years, we hear a siren go off that says, “From now on it all
counts.” Then we panic and try to push a little harder with more disci-
pline and regimen.
The combination can be explosive and very detrimental to a healthy
writing environment.
Identify whether the problems you’re having with your child are
unique to writing assignments. If your son or daughter is fighting you at
every turn from kitchen clean-up duties to feeding the dog, then writing
becomes one more front for battle.
A block in writing is much more obvious than the willful disobedi-
ence of a bored or resistant student. Here’s how you can tell: try one of
the techniques in this chapter to loosen up your child. If these efforts on
your part don’t result in a freed-up writer, you can then assume you have
a discipline problem.
The following list is a quick review of the ideas in this chapter as
well as a few others. You can mark the next page and come back to it for
an easy reminder when you and your kids hit that writing block wall.
• Ask, “What’s going on inside?”
Ask your son or daughter what is frozen inside them? What are their
literal feelings when they get stuck writing? Do they get nervous, fid-
gety, distracted? Are they thinking about an afterschool soccer
game? Does the topic seem huge and overwhelming? Is he trying to
recount all the details in chronological order and can’t remember the
order? Is she having trouble getting started, but can think of the
63

middle and end?

• Look through a telephoto lens.
Tell your child to close his/her eyes. Ask, “What do you see? Is
there a picture forming or a word or phrase?” If the picture or word
Simone wrote yesterday morn-
is vague, help them to clarify it by saying, “Can you pretend you are
ing, this morning and again this
looking through a telephoto lens? Zoom in a little closer and start
evening. Yes, she was sick of it,
talking now. What do you see?” Then transcribe it while your child
but I was getting tired of her
has his/her eyes closed. Keep zooming in until there is something to
procrastination. The best work
describe. It’s easy to get frustrated when the child says he or she
came after I interviewed her,
can’t see anything. Be patient and keep asking gently.
wrote her responses and actually
typed it while she was at karate
practice tonight. • Talk about it first.
Ask your students to narrate orally in any order what they’ll write
about. They can talk with you or with Dad on the phone. They can
I wrote her exact first words to
talk back and forth with a sibling who is going to write about the
show her how freewriting
same topic. Talk, talk, talk. Tell them to chat with their AOL Instant
should be. I wanted her to know
Messenger buddies. If they can’t talk, then it may be too soon to

that her work, ideas and
write. Do more research, read another book, watch another movie…

thoughts were valued so I left
then write.
the dishes in the sink, walked
past the overfilled garbage, for-
• Watch out for pencil fatigue.
got about packing for our trip
Did your child already do dictation, italic handwriting and copywork
and rushed to the computer to
this morning? If so, perhaps she is just sick of the physical act of
type. When she saw her work,
writing.
there was a definite change of
heart. She was more interested
in finishing the paper than eat- • Shorten the writing session.
ing ramen noodles (this is a Reduce the amount needed for today. Narrow the focus and write
good sign!). about one aspect well. Stop after ten minutes. Make lists of words
I’ve noticed that Simone tends instead of complete sentences. Doodle pictures or graphs.
• Is this a dumb assignment?
to think about her feelings,
Does my kid need to write about this? Sometimes mothers assign a
takes a moment to summarize
topic so uninspiring or irrelevant that her children lose heart. Then
her thoughts and, then speaks—
the next assignment is even harder to get started. These are assign-
instead of letting her exact feel-
ments like letters they never send, imaginary stories about aliens,
ings/words flow onto the paper.
what they would buy with a million dollars and so on. Be sure there
The question and answer ses-
is a degree of inspiration when assigning something that requires

sion really helped to bring emo-
imagination. (See Chapter 11).

tions into her paper. I believe a
tape recorder would be very
helpful for us next time so that • Use real scratch paper.
she can hear herself and connect Sometimes our kids are trying to outsmart us. They think if they can
with her initial responses/feel- just write one perfect draft, they won’t have to do the revisions. But
ings. then they face that wall again of writing perfectionism, which can be
paralyzing. One way to help is to use true scratch paper. Pick up an
old flyer, flip it over and hand it to your child. Don’t use lined paper.
—Cozetta
Wrinkle the page so that it’s obvious that it can’t be the final draft.
Make it abundantly clear that this draft won’t be the final product no
matter how well they write this version. The psychological help that
a lousy piece of paper is has repeatedly amazed me. Kids relax…
and then write.
• Send your child on a walk.
Sometimes moving straight from a math page or science experiment
into writing can create a feeling of loss. The left brain has been on
task and suddenly that right brain is expected to wake up and work.
Create a gap between subjects so your student has time to process
64

what it is he/she is going to write about. Pick the topic or read the
assignment and then send him /her for a walk to ruminate before
writing. After ten minutes, bring your child back to the table to begin
the draft or to polish the final product—whatever stage the writing is
in at that point.
Gabrielle did not want to pur-
sue the topic of Queen
Elizabeth I. She seemed to have
Of course, there are lots of good books about how to deal with the lots of ideas of stories she want-
will and I won’t waste any more time here trying to help you. If your ed to write (and uninterested in
child’s will is in the way, then all the writing tricks in the world won’t doing the brainstorming exer-
help you. Lay writing aside while you get a handle on the more impor- cise), so I let her sit at the com-
puter and just start writing
tant part of your child’s education: his character. down what she had in her mind
Afterwards, we spent time nar-
rowing the topic. Since she
wanted to write about a girl
going on the Mayflower, we
discussed what aspect of that
adventure she’d want to focus
on. As a result, she chose to
focus on the challenges of the
journey there. She wanted her
main character to be a girl of
courage who overcame these
challenges.
Then we did some research on
the journey. She read four short
stories about the voyage of the
Mayflower—and in particular,
the conditions for children.
Afterwards, she brainstormed a
list of conditions that her main
character would have to over-
come. Then for the past two
days or so she has taken a few
of those conditions and did
freewriting on them.
—Kim
65

66

Chapter 6
The Topic Funnel

Funneling a Broad Assignment into a Writing-Sized Topic
rite about summer vacation. Write about Columbus. Tell me

W everything you know about Japan. Who is Marco Polo? Write two
pages on your favorite food, sport, TV show, actress, Nintendo action fig-
ure…
Sound familiar? These are the writing assignments that litter the One of the biggest challenges I
classrooms of America. There’s a mistaken belief that kids write best have with teaching writing is
getting them to find something
when given lots of room. The larger the topic, the more they will think
they want to write about.
of to say. Getting ideas from them is like
What actually happens to kids who stare at topics like the ones pulling teeth, and they rarely
above? Their minds go blank. When asked why they haven’t started mov- like mine.
ing their pencils, they say, “I can’t think of anything to write.” We balk, —Carrie
and throw our hands in the air, and cry, “What do you mean?”
Inside we think, “That lazy, good-for-nothing, homeschooled,
spoiled baby. Why, when I was a kid, I had to write about the American
policy of détente and the Cold War in third grade while I trudged
through six feet of snow to the bus stop two miles away...” Blah, blah,
blah.
If you think rationally for a moment, you’ll also remember the
accompanying feelings when you were given an assignment like the ones
above. Usually a flash of despair or confusion. A swift glance at the girl
next to you to see what she was writing. A thought that if God would
just help you get something down on paper, you’d start praying again.
The notion that lots of freedom in the topic will produce good writ-
ing is false. Freedom is needed but must come after choosing a narrow
topic. Otherwise freedom feels huge and overwhelming to kids (and
adults, I might add).
The Topic Funnel

It’s fine to start with a broad assignment as long as you take the time
67

CHAPTER 6 THE TOPIC F UNNEL
to narrow it before the real writing begins. Think of a funnel. The rim is
large and can fit lots of liquid into it, but the bottom nozzle emits a nar-
row stream into the container. In order to get the subject into a writing-
Jeremy and I discussed the idea
of a topic funnel and then I shaped container, a topic funnel needs to force the subject matter into a
asked him to suggest a topic narrower stream.
What ‘funneling a topic’ is not

from his list to start with. He
picked “guitar.”
We “funneled” a bit and got to The following process may appear to be brainstorming. It isn’t.
“sound” then he said, “I know Brainstorming is different than narrowing the subject. Brainstorming
what I want to write about—all encourages the child to write out as many things as he can in any rela-
the different ways the guitar
can sound. High, low, plucky,
tionship to the topic. Brainstorming resembles freewriting in that way.
jazzy—Can I get my guitar and And as a preliminary step, freewriting, or brainstorming can be helpful
show you mom?” for the kid who flatly denies having anything in his head on the subject
He showed me and I asked him in question. At that point, freewriting a list of terms or ideas or words
to put his idea into a statement about the topic may be enough to get going with the writing assignment.
and then into the question: But sometimes, the subject itself needs to be reduced by at least half
How can a guitar be made to
sound many unique ways?
before freewriting is even worthwhile. Who could possibly write a mean-
ingful paragraph about WWII or the Civil War? These topics are huge.
—Margaret
The topic funnel takes the original idea for writing and gives it some
shape. Its goal is to create a question that the writing will answer. And in
every case, the topic will no longer resemble the initial suggestion for
writing; instead it will be a new creation that’s fitted to the child.
An Example
So let’s take one of the typical assignments that are so popular with
writing curricula and see what we can do with it.
“Write about your favorite sport.”
The first trick for any kid is to choose his favorite sport. For some
children, this will be immediately obvious, but what about the kids who
play five sports a year? Get a piece of paper and ask your child to write
his favorite sports across the top of the page.
soccer tennis rock climbing baseball swimming
These sports form the top of the funnel—the broad rim. Ask your
son to pick one. He needs to pick just one. If this is too difficult (can’t
decide between two), let him choose two sports and follow the next set
of steps on two separate sheets of paper—one for each choice. At the end
of the process, he’ll be able to see which one affords him more material
for his project. For our example, let’s choose:
rock climbing
Under rock climbing, ask your son to list all of the things about rock
climbing that he likes. This could take a bit of time, but let him go. If
he’s stuck, suggest things you’ve heard him say in the past. Let him talk
while you write and ask him to picture himself at the gym.
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Hanging upside down on the lower cave

Chalking up my hands so I don’t slip
Learning how to climb on the lead wall Joey’s topic funnel about karate.
Bouldering What he likes about it
The last rock climbing competition that I won

• forms
• sparring
The friends I have there

• kicks
• the exercise
Dave, the instructor • my teachers
Being alone
• blocking
• punching
My new shoes and harness that I got for Christmas

• stretching
• rests
As you can see, this list is uneven. Some of it seems directly related What he knows a lot about
to climbing and some does not. That’s okay. It’s better than okay. It’s real. • sparring
• tests
We’ve now moved away from rock climbing as a mind-numbing idea to
• forms
some specific aspects of rock climbing that are linked to the student’s real
The topic statement he came up
memories and experiences.
with is “Forms are an exciting
The next part of the funnel is to narrow this list. Some of these pos- part of karate because they are
sibilities have more writing in them than others. Some are related to the complicated.”
actual climbing and some are not. Eliminate the ones that don’t focus on This could expand to answer
the sport (since the original assignment was to write about your favorite questions like:
sport). In this example, my son and I eliminated his friends and the “What is a form?”
“What makes the forms com-
instructor.
plicated?”
Because the original assignment was vague (We don’t know if the “How does their being compli-
child is to write about why rock climbing is his favorite sport, or if he is cated make them fun?”
to describe how to rock climb or to list the aspects of the sport as in a —Mary
brochure), feel absolutely free to make it mean whatever you please.
Go back to the remaining items on the list and talk about them. Can
he talk well about the competition he won? Or is he more able to recall
the feelings of using his own shoes and harness after a long wait in rental
equipment? Does he have lots to say about bouldering or climbing the
lead wall?
When you hit a vein (the area that stimulates the most discussion)
write it down on a new sheet of paper:
Bouldering
This topic is also too big. It doesn’t prompt a question. Start the fun-
nel all over again with this as the head topic. This process doesn’t have to
take a lot of time. The important thing is that it must be done.
The feel of climbing without ropes
The desire to climb real boulders in the desert
The wall at the gym that he mastered that was too difficult for
college kids
Talk about these and choose one to turn into a real topic.
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Real Topics
A real topic in my book is one that asks a question that the writing
can answer. “Write about rock climbing” does not do that. Which topic
In your writing, be strong, defi-
under bouldering can be made into a question that the student’s writing
ant, forbearing. Have a point to
make and write to it. Dare to can answer? Let’s try the third one.
say what you want most to say, An easy way to begin is to make the idea into a statement first.
Bouldering at my indoor rock climbing gym is exciting because I
and say it as plainly as you can.
have mastered a wall that’s even difficult for college kids.

Whether or not you write well,
write bravely.
—Bill Stout
From the statement, a question can be created:
What is exciting about bouldering at my rock climbing gym?
Good news: your student already knows the answer! By setting forth
the idea before creating the question, your child has a better chance at
writing with confidence about the topic. From the question, it’s now pos-
sible to think about three or four subpoints that will help to explain why
bouldering is a great diversion for your son. He’ll have to explain what
bouldering is (for the reader), discuss what makes it difficult compared
with other kinds of climbing and show us how he succeeded where col-
lege kids failed and why.
If this assignment was meant to be a descriptive paragraph, he might
simply want to recount the experience of having mastered the wall from
his perspective. It would be clever to end with the comments or compli-
ments of the college kids he bested.
Now that your son has narrowed the scope of the topic and has a
personal experience tied to it, he will have much less trouble thinking of
things to write.
When you’re confronted with a subject that’s not tied to personal
experience and where the information is largely from book learning, the
process of narrowing the topic is even more critical. It simply isn’t possi-
ble or necessary to know everything about Napoleon. The writing in
response to a unit about Napoleon ought to highlight some key aspects
of his life or accomplishments, but it should not be exhaustive or ardu-
ous.
Instead, the real opportunity for the young writer is to make concrete
his impressions, opinions and connections with other people or subjects
that the study of Napoleon stimulates. So be choosy. Don’t require
length. Require your kids to be specific. Is it the battle at Waterloo that
piqued their interest? Are they interested in what became of Napoleon
after he lost that battle? Follow the funnel process in the same way as
described above and conclude with a statement that can be turned into a
question that the writing can answer.
What if it turns out that your kids only know a few facts about the
topic? If this is the case, don’t require writing. In fact, go directly to the
next section, do not pass Go and do not collect a report or essay.
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What else can be done with general assignments?

Sometimes it’s simply not worth requiring writing that fits the para-
graph or essay form. The assignment in question is looking for a regurgi-
tation of information gleaned from the reading and that’s it. When I
want to find out if my kids have remembered some key events, dates or
discoveries, I ask them only for that.
We use “Graphic Organizers” to do the job. These are frames for
writing. My favorite one is a “Who, What, When, Where, and Why”
page. The “Who” frame is a head with some lines in it. The “What” is a
box. The “When” is an empty clock face. The “Where” looks like an
anonymous state or country. And the “Why” is another lined box. The
kids can choose the information that suits these categories and write one
or two sentences for each.
The reason I prefer to use a writing frame when given a general
assignment is that the goals are clear and a bit more honest. What I’m
looking for are the basic informational facts, not a wonderful piece of
writing. At this point, I’d rather discover whether what we’ve read is
going into her brain than whether she can craft a nicely written paper.
I save the effort of writing for worthy assignments.
Another short way to write about a topic is to choose the five key
points. If you’ve finished a chapter in the history book and you want to
know if your child has retained the important facts of the chapter, ask for
the “Five Keys.” One complete sentence for each key will suffice.
Creating five questions based on the reading is another way to ascer-
tain whether or not the child has learned the material. Later, if you want
to, you can pick one as a writing assignment. However, it may be that the
questions themselves reveal that enough learning has taken place.
You are the instructor and can determine the goals of any assignment
as you encounter it. There is nothing at all wrong with lowering the bar
for writing so that your kids make it a friend instead of an enemy. While
your child learns to write five keys or the who, what, where, when and
why of a given subject, they’re also learning the pre-writing skills of
selecting relevant material and finding important details. These skills will
help them later in longer more complicated writing forms.
For the older student

What about those junior and senior high kids who face much more
pesky and substantial topics like: Write a research paper about a world
religion, or write an essay that argues for or against a moral issue facing
our nation. Ugh! Don’t all your muscles wilt like a piece of limp lettuce
just thinking about it?
These are not abnormal assignments and they are not bad ones.
What they are is unrefined. The teacher/curriculum writers expect the
student to create his own writing agenda, but within the confines of a
specific area.
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Topic Funnel If you’re writing a research paper that is meant to simply profile a
Track and Field religion, the best thing to do is to pick three categories to profile and do
The things I enjoy at track. a good job in each area.
Islam
• sprinting
• History of
• winning
• Religious practices/beliefs
• keeping up with someone
better than me
• meeting new people • Socio/political implications
• cool down I wouldn’t call a paper of this sort a research paper. I’d call it a profile
• competing or a report. A paper that demonstrates the student’s ability to reorganize
• timing yourself in practice information and to present it is not what constitutes a research paper. It
• beating an old record
is, however, an effective way to teach research and organizational skills
and needs to be exploited for those purposes.
• coming in first
Whenever you face an assignment that’s not arguing a point, help
• racing a friend your kids choose the arenas for research. It’s not necessary to write about
I chose competing. everything that’s in the library books about your particular state, religion
• What does it take to com- or country. Learn how to choose information that fits the categories
pete? (preparing)
you’ve selected to explore.
• What is it like in a competi- Don’t feel like a bad mother if your child decides not to include the
tion?
rainfall averages for South Dakota. Help him or her to decide what it is
—Domine
that ought to be included and then stick to those arenas. (Chapter 15—
The Dreaded Elementary Report).
If your student is in high school and has already completed a couple
of reports or profiles, it’s time to teach the research paper. I’m writing a
supplement called “Help for High School” (in 2002) which will teach the
Expository Essay as well as the Research Paper.
What follows is a quick reference guide for creating useful
topics/subjects for writing with kids between 4th and 8th grades. In
order to have anything to “funnel” you must first be sure to stimulate
internal possession of the information. Your kids need to own the mater-
ial they write about.
Writing projects that develop quality topics

To inspire your kids to produce better writing, be sure to create
interest in the topic through a variety of means. The suggestions below
are suited to a range of ages starting with fourth graders all the way
through junior high.
High schoolers need the same level of inspiration to produce good
work but would be expected to produce more substantial results. Modify
the type of assignment but be sure that you are engaging their sense of
wonder, interest or passion. The following list suggests the objectives for
each school subject with practical applications that I’ve used in my own
family.
72

Literature
When assigning a book report, be sure to give your child a view-
point. It helps if he or she acts as a reviewer rather than just another kid
doing the meaningless task of describing back to an adult the content of
the book.
At my house:
• Make a poster advertising the book with one well-written slogan to
recommend the book to others.
• Draw illustrations of key scenes with simple descriptions.
• Rewrite the ending to a story—either with a new ending or continue
the story for another short chapter.
• Using characters from the story, write another adventure that they
share.
Social Studies
When studying locations or periods of history, narrow the focus. Be
sure to carefully choose your topic so that it is not too large and cumber-
some.
At my house:
• Develop a good hook—a creative opening that engages the reader.
Use dialog, an anecdote or a quotation.
• Make use of graphic organizers like the ones mentioned in this
chapter.
• Identify one person that is memorable from that period of history
and write in that person’s viewpoint. Describe only one experience,
not all fifty that make up his/her life.
• Use illustrations, magazine photos and library books to supply visual
stimulation while the child writes. It’s easier to write when he or she
can see it. Usually historical periods and locations like states and
planets are too removed from a child’s experience to elicit good writ-
ing without the visual aids.
Science
When writing about animals, insects, chemical reactions and the
water system, be sure to have hands-on experiences with proper note-
taking. Use a science journal or tape player to record what the child sees
and experiences. These resources will help remind the child of what his
or her fresh thoughts, words and insights were at that moment.
At my house:
• Make a science journal and take it everywhere when investigating
nature. For younger students or the reluctant writer, take notes for
the child while he or she dictates his or her observations.
73

• Newspaper clippings, sketches and artifacts bring writing to life.

Include these in a scrapbook with notes.
• Use analogies to bring new experiences to life by comparing them
to familiar ones. Not all of these need to be written down.
• Answer why and how questions rather than simply describing the
concrete details.
• Keep a nature journal. The Country Diary of an Edwardian Woman,
by Edith Holden, is a wonderful example of a year’s record of nature
observations. Encourage your kids to include poems, sayings, Bible
verses and other tidbits about nature.
Creative Writing
Most creative writing assignments make the mistake of being too
general. Parents and teachers are under the impression that this leaves
more room for creativity. Wrong! Be specific and provocative.
At my house:
• Use scenery photos for descriptions. Look for pictures that provoke
a response (like tornadoes, waterfalls, tidal waves, strange architec-
ture, double rainbows, jungles and so on).
• Draw on immediate experience for that poem or limerick. If you’re
studying the Civil War, incorporate it into the poem—bloodied men
on the battlefield...
• Ask a specific question that begs to be answered: Why would I want
to sip a cup of hot cocoa? Then make the cup of cocoa and write
while you sip!
• Do something unusual. Go walk in the rain storm, then ask your
child to write about why kids should be allowed to get soaked in the
rain.
Questions to ask your child
• About what or whom will I be writing?
• What fascinates me most about my topic?
• Will I report objectively or subjectively? (As news reporter or editori-
al writer)
• What new thing do I hope to convey to my reader?
• What burning question will my paper answer?
Assignment for Mom

Pick a general topic for writing. Use the topic funnel as an exercise in
learning how to narrow the scope of a writing assignment. Do this inde-
pendently of the other writing you’ve done to this point in the course.
Once you’ve completed it, you can decide which of the writing projects
lends itself the most to further writing. Would your child enjoy writing
his Keen Observation into a descriptive paragraph? Did your daughter’s
74

freewrite yield interesting results that she’d like to expand? Did your son
find a topic in the topic funnel exercise that he knows lots about?
Once you’ve picked one of the assignments, the next step is to be
sure that you have a freewrite that goes with the topic. Take the Keen
Observation or the Topic Funnel products and freewrite about the sub-
ject using any information you gleaned through these writing exercises.
Then move on to the next chapter where you can finally get out your red
pens.
(The following pages have samples of Topic Funnels.)
75

Topic Funneling Exercise Examples
Caddying at a Golf Course

Erik (13) had freewritten two times last week and in both he referred
to his love of caddying. (He caddies at a golf course throughout the
summer). So as I read your info to us about funneling, I realized the
subject we had so far was “Caddying at Losantaville Country Club.”
Then I had Erik make a list of all the things he liked about caddying.
He came up with about nine very general things, little detail.
I talked with him and I wrote while discussing other things he liked.
The list got longer. So I think this was the rim of the funnel. And now
we need to narrow by crossing out all the things he listed that are not
directly related to caddying.
Here is his list :
What I like about caddying at Losantaville:
• caddying for young gentlemen, especially Jim Haggerty
• being the first to get there
• being first out
• caddying for Allen Tarshis
• making a lot of money
• when a golfer plays well
• golfers with a double-strap light bag
• when I'm first there, I'm first out
• when I'm first out, I get in early
• when I get in early, I can go home
• a "cart job"
• meeting my goal—20 loops to become an honor caddy
• to become number one caddy
• getting to go to the caddy banquet
• getting the bonus at the banquet
—Cindy
Letter from Rachel

The following letter is from Rachel. She shares how topic funneling
and conversations with her daughter resulted in a successful writing ses-
sion after several attempts at writing.
Dear Julie and Kidswrite classmates,
I've been pretty silent here lately (an unusual thing for me to be silent,
ever!) but now since I'm home from church with a sick child, I've got
time to tell the long, long story of our writing life.
I must have just been waiting for someone, anyone, to give me per-
mission to stuff math for awhile & instead take all the time necessary
to give writing a chance because last week I took that idea and ran
76

with it! We didn't totally ignore other school stuff, but my first priority
was to talk with my kids and not feel guilty about it!
(And what kind of oppressive, repressive system of education (or par-
enting) results in the teacher/mom feeling guilty for communicating?
My thinking really gets screwed up sometimes. Thanks, Julie, for help-
ing me remember not only what's more effective in the long run, but
what's good and right.)
And I had a BLAST! My kids are such neat, creative, smart people.
Of course not much of that comes out in the resultant writing since,
after all, they are just starting and who's good at something when they
first start, but now at least I've seen the inner workings of their minds
and know they have great, valuable insights and knowledge to share.
So now my job is to help them accurately express the unique per-
spectives God has gifted them with and to support them through the
sometimes difficult process of mining the gold in their minds.
The process got a bad start with Elizabeth last week. I wanted to go
forward with the funneling and editing assignments, but it just seemed
that we had no freewrites that were very salvageable, so I was deter-
mined to get a piece of writing out of her (using force if need be) on a
topic relevant and interesting enough to her that she’d have more
than two sentences to say about it. She loves the Little House
books—okay, perfect freewrite opportunity. So I talked with her about
what she could say about Laura's life, suggested that she could pre-
tend she was Laura's neighbor and could describe what life would
have been like in that time. I came up with several different angles.
Elizabeth didn't want to do any of those. She simply wanted to narrate
an episode from one of the books. Here's the part where I blush in
shame—I wouldn't let her do that! Oh, the pushing, poking, impossi-
ble-to-please mommy! Who will deliver poor children from the
bondage of a taskmaster who just won't let them be what they are?
I repented only a day later (after an awful freewrite experience in
which she produced only a sassy, negative, I'll-obey-the-letter-of-
mom's-law effort) and apologized to her for making her feel that what
she wanted to write was somehow not good enough and that she
needed to do it my way and write about what I thought was accept-
able instead of write about what was in her own mind.
Then we had a great discussion about why she likes the Little House
books, which adventures she thought were the best, how Laura is dif-
ferent from Mary and how Elizabeth sees herself more as a Laura. I
lounged on the bed, Elizabeth was sprawled out on the floor of her
room and we just plain gabbed for a long time. It was awesome. I was
so impressed with her ability to notice things in the books, to put
events and descriptions together and relate them to one another and
to her own life, so intrigued by the really unique perspective my
daughter has.
What it boiled down to in the end was that she loves to read about
Laura because Laura’s life illustrated experiences and feelings with
which she (Elizabeth) could identify and which are also somehow
important to her deep inside.
77

After all that great talking, she felt she could write about why she likes
the books. Here's what she wrote:
She likes to do the things that I like to do.
I just love to be on hay stacks and slide down them, but sometimes
you get poked and bleed.
Thud. Not exactly world-class prose. But this slow-learning mama did-
n't forget the lesson of the day before—I praised her, sincerely, for
writing about what was in her and for that very specific detail about
the pokiness of hay. See, I knew that sentence had originated in a
memory or feeling or image that was dancing in her mind.
Her writing was a bad window to that image, but it was a start! I tried
to help her clear some of the dust off the window to her mind by talk-
ing more with her about her experiences and feelings related to play-
ing in the haystacks. Eventually she dictated this to me: (I didn't want
to dampen her enthusiasm by slowing her thoughts down to the
speed with which she can manipulate a pencil.)
When you slide down the haystacks, hay falls on your head and
dust gets in your eyes and nose. And sometimes hay falls in your
shoes and you have to sit down and dump your shoes out.
When you slide on haystacks, it's very slippery. Sometimes you just
sit down, and the hay falls from beneath you. When me and my
cousins play tag on the haystacks, the hay slips out from beneath
us when we're running, and we fall. When we're playing tag, we
sometimes jump from bale to bale. When we jump, dust spills out
from the hay. Sometimes we fall on our faces when we trip on the
strings on the bales. We also fall in the cracks between the
haystacks. Snow causes us to fall. With no gloves on, your hands
get cold.
There are a ton of images imbedded in that little piece of writing, still
buried under a layer of dust, but as she spoke, her eyes sparkled and
she smiled at the lively antics she could see in her mind's eye. I could
tell she was frustrated that her words didn't reflect the beauty or spe-
cialness she wanted to convey, but still somehow she seemed to be
willing to struggle with it, maybe partly because I was so interested in
her perceptions and partly because she felt that mystical exhilaration
that goes along with making concrete an invisible thing inside you. It's
not really good writing, but it was her writing.
Even after I'd written that stuff down for her, she wanted to talk about
the fun times she's had playing with her cousins on the haystacks at
Grandpa's farm. She was still caught up in her own vision, so I hand-
ed her the pencil and notebook and said, "Here, Elizabeth, write it
down." And I left.
Half an hour later, she handed me this:
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The Day at Grandpa's Farm

"Whoo!" exclaimed Patrick as he fell between two hay bales. He, Tim,
Jeremy, Joe, and Caroline were on a team in tag versus Christine,
Elizabeth, Danny, Josh, and Jenny.
He had just escaped the hand of Danny. Pooph! Elizabeth had just fell
beside him.
"I found him!" she shouted.
"Oh no," whined Patrick as Danny found him.
"Got yah!" yelled Danny. "You can't escape."
"NanNana boo boo, you can't catch me!" teased Patrick.
Just as Danny reached his hand out to tag him, Aunt Lisa came up
from the house.
"Time to eat," she announced.
"Good," said Tim.
"I'm starved," said Josh.
They all ran to the house. They took their coats off and shoes off.
"Peeuw," said Joseph, "I have hay in my mouth, nose, coat, and worst
of all, my shoes." All the kids hated getting hay in their clothes
because it pokes you and itches.
Now this is not exactly Pulitzer Prize-winning writing, either, but won-
der of wonders—she was writing!! She was putting her thoughts on
paper! What joy! What progress! I was elated.
It was a very long, very time-consuming process. Were the results
worth it? Maybe not in terms of objective quality, but in terms of work-
ing together—yes. In terms of stimulating her interest and building
confidence—double yes. At least we were finally on the right track.
—Rachel
79

80

Chapter 7
Hacking through the Underbrush

Revising—Narrowing the Focus,
Expanding the Writing
kay, okay. Enough freedom. You’re getting the D-T’s and need a
O quick fix. Get out your red pen, your reading glasses on the little
silver chain and a dictionary. Keep the Nitty Gritty Grammar reference
handy and attack that paper, right?
Well, no, not exactly… Sorry.
Revision is not about fixing all the mechanical problems. It’s not the
“copying over” stage of paper writing. Revision is giving new vision to
the slowly forming piece. It’s about rewriting and adding new bits of
writing to the original. It’s about attacking the bushy undergrowth with a
hatchet and planting some new seeds. No task into which a man puts
Revision narrows the focus of unclear passages and then expands the his heart is too bad. For the
lazy, all work is difficult. The
writing. The message and the meaning must all be evaluated for clarity, superior man finds pleasure in
depth and breadth. There are four general principles to consider when doing what is uncongenial.
revising a draft (freewrite). I list them in the next section. Then I follow —Elizabeth Foreman Lewis
them with five typical weaknesses found in the initial drafts of any paper. Young Fu of the Upper Yangtze
Finally, once the revisions are made, it’s time to choose what kind of
writing form best suits your paper.
A caveat: I had the hardest time writing this chapter. When I teach
this course online, I help the mothers select which aspects of the stu-
dent’s draft needs to be narrowed and expanded. I only choose one or
two things to work on at a time. As I read the draft, I keep the principles
and weaknesses that I spell out in this chapter in mind. But I never
expect any one child to fix every weakness.
By identifying the range of possible weaknesses in children’s writing,
I fear you’ll feel you must resolve every weakness and enhance every
point of your child’s work each time you evaluate a paper. Please don’t do
that. This list is a sort of glossary of what to look for in most student
81

CHAPTER 7 HACKING THROUGH THE UNDERBRUSH
writing. Allow yourself to work on one thing at a time, and don’t feel the
need to fix every problem every time. Your children will thank you and
you’ll feel much less overwhelmed if you look at revising as a journey
The first draft is what you want
to say; the final draft, after
through several papers rather than a complete overhaul of each paper.
Polaroids
much editing and rewriting, is
how you want to say it.
When your kids freewrite, they grab and reach and snatch. They take
—Dick Graber
snapshots of ideas, they pull down bits of detail, they label entire
sequences of events with a single word. The goal of freewriting is to
move that pencil across the page as quickly as their little minds think up
thoughts. But those minds are much faster “thinkers” than “writers.” The
way your kids compensate for that gap is to leave out all the good stuff.
“Communication,” I recently Oh, sometimes they come up with terrific detail and quirks that make
told a class of writers, “is your their freewriting sing. (And the more they freewrite, the more this will
reason for being—not nourish-
happen naturally).
ment of ego, not praise of your
colleagues, not money, not love But by and large, what you see at the end of a freewrite is like an
of generations to come. You undeveloped Polaroid. All the material for a great picture is there, but it
write to communicate to the hasn’t emerged. Revision, then, is about finding the nuggets and digging
hearts and minds of others
them out. It’s about taking the raw materials and turning them into
what’s burning inside you—
And we edit to let the fire show goods. It’s like finding coal and cutting it into diamonds.
through the smoke.” Revision is not editing. Editing takes those revised ideas and rubs
—Arthur Plotnik them against your shirtsleeve to get the dirt off. Editing shines up the
The Elements of Editing final product. Editing is the last step—the mop up—and I talk about it
in Chapter 8—Machete Mechanics.
Start with one thing—Meaning

Revision rule number one: start with one thing. Repeat. Start with
one thing. This will be the hardest task I assign to you. Do not choose
three things. Do not choose one big thing (like all his grammar mis-
takes). Choose one very changeable problem and stick to it.
Remember: any mistake that goes uncorrected today will magically
reappear in another paper; you can fix it then. Count on it. Your kids
won’t deprive you of the chance to work on their problems another time.
So start with one thing. Pick a problem that impacts meaning first.
What you see at the end of a The goal here is to get your son or daughter to see that making changes
freewrite is like an undeveloped
Polaroid. All the material for a
improves the communication value of their writing. Remember the
great picture is there, but it has- Communication Game? Same idea here. You are slowly leading your
n’t emerged. child to make sure that he or she finds the meaning in each idea or
—jb thought. Don’t worry about the punctuation until the ideas are clear.
Start by asking questions.
“What about Mech Attack is ‘really cool’?”
“Pretend I’ve never groomed a horse. What’s the point of brushing his
whole body every day?”
“ ‘The sunset was beautiful.’ Tell me more about that. What color was
it? What did it remind you of?”
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“You felt uneasy before your piano recital. What did your body feel
like when you were ‘uneasy’?”
These kinds of questions help the writer to focus on what she’s actu- As far as revising or second
ally trying to communicate. drafts—well, imagine pulling
the same tooth twice. I wonder
You see, writing requires another duality: narrowing the focus while sometimes what the reasons are.
expanding the writing. By asking questions (like the ones above), your Two possibilities are on my
young writer narrows the focus for his next freewriting session. He takes mind, one is that he wants to
on a tiny part of the whole and gives his whole attention to it. Once he get done as quickly as possible
to get on with things he enjoys
narrows the focus of what he wants to say, he then expands that idea, more. The other is that he is a
word, thought, and experience in writing. Narrow—expand. Narrow the perfectionist who feels that he
focus—expand the writing. can't do it “right” and doesn’t
What follows are four areas that usually impact meaning. They will want to bother to try very hard
when he doesn’t think he will
help you to know what to look for to narrow and expand. achieve the great results he
Four Principles for Revision

would like. (I know I'm like
that with some things myself. )
1. Begin by finding the main idea —Mary

Sometimes the main idea is buried. Look for declarative statements
like: “Korean girls are never allowed to leave their mothers’ houses until
they get married.” Perhaps that is the core of the piece. Your daughter
may want to focus on the plight of Korean women and girls instead of
the national foods or government system.
Or it may be something like this: “I don’t think I would have liked
working on a slave ship.” When your son states an opinion, explore it. When your son states an opin-
Ask questions. Oftentimes the main idea is right behind an opinion. ion, explore it. Ask questions.
Oftentimes the main idea is
Don’t toss it because it doesn’t give you hard facts. Find out what is right behind an opinion.
underneath.
—jb
“Harriet Tubman was a fearless leader.” Yes, she was. Do you have
more to say about her and her bravery? Does she remind you of someone
else who demonstrated bravery at another point in American history?
These are the kinds of questions that will lead you to the main ideas
that your kids want to explore. The facts are nothing without the pas-
sionate interest and explanations of your child. Of course, not all writing
is passionate (though the best writing always is). Still, your kids need to
aim for intimate knowledge and that only comes from caring and owning
their thoughts.
By identifying the main ideas first, you’ll have a better sense of which
parts deserve expansion. If, for instance, your child didn’t go into detail
describing the Grand Canyon, you might be tempted to say that the
child expand that part of the paper. But if the main purpose of the paper
was to provide driving directions from his house to Santa Fe, then men-
tioning the Grand Canyon in passing is enough. Don’t waste energy
describing a landmark when information is the primary objective.
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2. Find the points that are unclear and vague

Once you know the main idea, you can identify which sentences in
the freewrite support that idea. Find these, mark them and forget about
Now, practically even better
the rest of the writing. Don’t feel the need to make every sentence in a
news than that of short assign-
ments is the idea of shitty first freewrite fit into the final product. You will eliminate some of the writ-
drafts. All good writers write ing.
them. That is how they end up Look for sentences that support the main idea, but do it poorly.
with good second drafts and
“Buddhism is a strange religion.” Or, “The Indians didn’t like the
terrific third drafts.
Spanish in South America.” Or, “Mech Attack is the best computer
—Anne Lamott
Bird by Bird
game in the whole world.” Go back and make a little asterisk next to
comments like these. Later, you’ll get out a clean sheet of paper and ask
for another freewrite that expands the point. Just that one point. Your
son or daughter can do this an infinite number of times (and may figure
that out). Don’t overdo it. You’ll want to only pick a couple of critical
vague points to expand and then move on.
Identifying the points that are unclear at the beginning will help you
see if the assignment is too broad (no way to cover all the points suffi-
ciently) and how much time you need to work on this writing assign-
ment. Remember, only improve one thing at a time (which usually means
one thing per day—yes, I’m nagging you now).
3. Spruce up the unimaginative

Let’s say that the Fourth of July is the topic. How might a student-
mother team come up with a fresh description that could serve as the
opening hook? The original sentence might be: “The American holiday
called the Fourth of July is celebrated with fireworks.” Rewrite, shop for
new words, say it backwards and forwards again. “Brightly colored fire-
works burst into the night sky telling everyone that America is an inde-
pendent nation.” Then mess with it some more. “Crack, whistle, boom.
Lights, flashes, bursts of color announce the Fourth of July in America.”
Keep going, if you can and want to. It’s hard work to think in entire-
ly new words after hearing the weak choice first. So help your kids out
and give them some ideas. Model for them how to think of alternatives.
Suggest word pictures. Read other descriptions and mimic them. Make a
list of words from the Thesaurus that is related to the topic. Then once
they have a little bank of words, let them freewrite a few sentences (or a
few fragments or phrases) that use them.
The point is, don’t let your kids settle for average writing. Not every
sentence needs to pop like the ones above, but certainly a thread of quali-
ty sentences is what holds a paper together. By identifying the vague
descriptions, you see quickly where to engage the imagination.
4. Discover the form that will support the writing project

This is the most challenging part of rewriting. What is the assign-
ment? Is it a report? Is it a portrait? Is it meant to inspire, explain,
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defend, or narrate? Once you decide which it is, follow the form. (Yes, I
know you think you don’t know what the writing forms are. See the end
of the chapter for explanations.) Usually there’s a logical sequence that’s
Coherence is not the goal of
needed for each form. That doesn’t mean that the writing must go in a raw writing, life is. Coherence
predictable, plodding manner. Instead, the writer simply needs to be con- is what you impose on raw
scious of what the key points are and that they are made in an orderly writing as you revise.
fashion. —Peter Elbow
Look for the following trends in the writing

• Personal experiences are best written in letter form or as a journal
entry.
• Sharing information is often most suited to reporting. Mini-reports,
oral reports and the longer “Dreaded Elementary School Report” fit
in here.
Make the paragraph the unit
• Storytellers enjoy writing fiction the most. Not all of academic writ- of composition.
ing can be done in fiction, but for kids who show a passion for it,be
sure to give them opportunities to exercise that gift during “school.”
The paragraph is a convenient
unit; it serves all forms of liter-
• Individual paragraphs are completely adequate for lots of writing
ary work. As long as it holds
products.
together, a paragraph may be of
any length—a single, short sen-
At the end of this chapter is a quick list of writing forms and their tence or a passage of great
duration.
basic structures. I hesitate to get picky about these (until high school)
because most of the writing younger kids do can be fairly free form while —Strunk and White
Elements of Style
they are becoming comfortable with the writing process. So skip to the
end of this chapter, if you’re dying for concrete help in this area.
Typical weaknesses in first drafts

After you’ve viewed the writing through the lenses above, you might
want to check for the following concrete issues. These get right down to
Labels that cover experiences:
the nitty-gritty of sentences and what to do about them.
• lousy
• Vague descriptions. Most kids fall into the trap of labeling their • weird
experiences, thoughts and ideas, as I mentioned above. Instead of telling • cool
• awesome
me how to maneuver a boogie board on a big wave, they say, “Boogie • great
boarding is radical.” The word “radical” acts as a label. It covers a whole • terrific
world of experience that the child assumes and actually imagines inside • nice
his head. He hasn’t confronted the fact that you, the reader, don’t form • wonderful
• hard
the same imaginative image in your mind when he says radical. • pretty
Therefore, you get to be the reader who draws out that description. • ugly
(Again it’s a good idea to remind your kids of the Communication • beautiful
Game.) • amazing
• easy
Some typical label words are: lousy, weird, cool, awesome, great, ter- • good
rific, nice, wonderful, hard, pretty, ugly, beautiful, amazing, easy, good, • bad
bad, best, worst and so on. When you see an entire experience hiding • best
behind one of these words, it’s your clue that expansion can occur right • worst
there. Circle the sentence or word and let your child freewrite again
85

about that issue specifically. Some kids need to talk first to discover why
it is that “radical” won’t cut it. Model what it means to unpack an experi-
ence in words.
Remember my mule trek to the mountains? Nine months pregnant
with all my supplies on the mule’s back? Now’s the time to unpack that
mule. Dig inside for the stuff that’s hidden under a heap of generalities.
• Unclear processes. Kids often write about how to do things. How
to bake a cake, how to play Red Alert Two, how to collect Beanie Babies,
how to find Grandpa’s house, how to defend the goal in soccer. If your
young writer is intimate with the topic (as I hope he or she is), it’s likely
that in her inexperience, she’ll leave out important details about how to
do the thing she knows or loves.
Writing directions is no easy task for kids. I know adults who don’t
Perfectionism is a mean, frozen
do a great job of explaining. I had a father-in-law who couldn’t teach me
form of idealism, while messes to tie a bowlin knot no matter how many times he showed it to me. He
are the artist’s true friend. knew that knot backwards and forwards, he could talk on and on about
What people somehow (inad- why it is a great knot to know. But he couldn’t make me see what was in
vertently, I’m sure) forgot to
mention when we were chil-
his head.
dren was that we need to make Type your child’s freewrite on the computer. Then print and cut out
messes in order to find out who each sentence. Give the sentences to your son or daughter and let your
we are and why we are here— child arrange them in the most logical order. (This works with any revis-
and, by extension, what we’re
supposed to write.
ing that needs reorganization and is a far better way to teach paragraph
construction than all those rigid models in the workbooks).
—Anne Lamott
Bird by Bird
As an adult, you can quickly see what’s missing in the instructions.
Your job, then, is to help your child walk through the steps in those
instructions to find the gaps. Beware of telling your child what the holes
are before you’ve affirmed how much he’s gotten right. The best way to
support his discovery of the gaps is to walk through the steps one by one.
Read the newly organized paragraph aloud while your child closes
his eyes to listen, imagining each point. Go slowly so that he or she is
actually picturing the process one step at a time. Many times your child
will see the gaps before you even have to say anything. If she doesn’t, you
can gently point out, “I think you might want to mention gluing the
perch to the birdhouse at this point. The reader doesn’t know how to
attach it from your directions. See?”
The following was written by one of my students, Randy (13). This
is his first freewrite on the topic of Paintball. As you read it, notice the
organization. This is a typical initial foray into writing about a topic the
student knows well but forgets that I, the reader, may not know anything
about. At this stage of the development, that’s perfectly acceptable. The
freewrite is the blueprint for where the writing eventually needs to go.
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Paintball
The first thing is dividing into teams. When starting you want to
choose a route that helps you move forward and gives you protec-
tion. You can always smell the plants that surround you when laying
on the ground.
Build on the good stuff. Find
one good sentence or phrase or
Sometimes where you lay can be wet and you can feel it, some-
word and build on it. A couple
times hard and it's uncomfortable, sometimes it's just perfect and
of quality sentences surrounded
comfortable. You're scared when moving around, and very cautious
by a bunch of mediocre ones is
knowing that someone is hunting you down or just waiting to pop

fine. Each paper is a process of
you one.
growth toward the ultimate
goal—a confident, competent
When actually in a battle, you start to breathe hard, you can some- writer by the time your child
times taste your salty sweat, you also smell your mask that covers turns 18.
your face. This sometimes fogs your mask and can get quite irritat-
ing. The materials you need are a mask, a paintball gun, preferably
—jb
a semi-auto, paintballs, and camo. When playing paintball you want

to blend into your surrounding, that's where camo comes in, you
also want a bonnie hat so you can stick leaves in it to blend in to
trees, weeds, plants. When trying to take over a base or area you
always feel angry when someone shoots you. But when you do take
over the base it feels great, even hitting a person feels great. When
getting shot, it just makes you want to play more, paintball is great!
Randy has all the elements for his final right here in this piece.
Notice that he includes the list of items needed for paintball (“The
materials you need are a mask, a paintball gun, preferable a semi-auto,
paintballs, and camo”). Notice that he includes interesting details (“you
can sometimes taste your salty sweat, you also smell your mask that cov-
ers your face”). These may not appear in the best order yet, but he cer-
tainly has some good stuff to work with. Randy’s objective is to tell me
how to play paintball. His organization is not yet clear, but the pieces
he’ll need for the final are all there. He also makes the assumption that
the reader is familiar with Paintball terminology. At this point, he’d need
to decide if he’s writing to an audience familiar with paintball or not. For
instance, I don’t know what “camo” is or a “semi-auto.”
The next step, then, is to highlight those areas that need develop-
ment, definition or clarification for the chosen reader.
• Mediocre reporting. Most kids write reports that resemble poorly
written encyclopedias. They tell the reader about soccer in general. “It’s a
fun sport that has defense and offense. Kids kick a ball toward the goal.
You can’t use your hands. It’s a lot of fun.” This example is typical of
what freewriting might yield. Moms throw up their hands. Boring! But that’s not what’s missing
Alas, however, the mom often comes along and makes it worse. She from this piece. The child is
tries to get her child to write about how to play soccer or what the rules missing—an MIA of writing
of the game are. But that’s not what’s missing from this piece. The child —jb
is missing—an MIA of writing. Here’s what to do:
87

This soccer-playing child has a wealth of specific memories associat-

ed with the game. Help her to narrow the focus—to zoom in on one
experience. How did she score her first goal? What happened at the
This is my favorite opening
hook in a novel. play-off game that her team lost or won? What kind of player is suited
to be the goalie? What drills prepare the team for their games?
“Where’s Papa going
with that ax?” said
By zeroing in on one well-known aspect of the topic, the writer can
Fern to her mother as
now find personal hooks for her imagination, memories and convictions.
they were setting the She moves out of the netherworld of soccer into her personal experience
table for breakfast. and thereby finds material to share that is interesting.
—E.B. White Once she’s identified that personal hook, it’s time for—you’ve got
Charlotte’s Web
it—more freewriting.
• Weak openings. The opening is an opportunity to engage the
reader’s interest right out of the chute. Using a hook is the best way I
know for achieving this. Typical hooks include starting with a quotation,
starting in the middle of the plot or controversy, a personal anecdote
related to the more general topic, dialog… Most freewriting doesn’t start
with an opening hook, so it is almost always the first area of revision that
I suggest to my kids and students. Here’s an example of how I worked
with my daughter Johannah on a report about the Chinese New Year.
Johannah began her report with the sentence, “The Chinese New
Year is the most beloved holiday in China.” This is a classic topic sen-
tence. It’s also typical to start a freewrite with a sentence like this. It sort
of frames the following facts.
I marked this sentence and asked her to expand what made the
Chinese New Year so special. Johannah began by listing the various
unique observances that occur on the Chinese New Year. Then she tried
to imagine being in China and what she might see. After free-writing
and much rearranging of sentences, she came up with this new opening:
“Fireworks burst through the air. Firecrackers keep everyone awake
as they play cards, watch TV and laugh at each other’s jolly jokes.
Every light is lit through the towns. Supper is a feast with every fami-
ly member coming together in a happy fun-filled night. Everyone
anxiously waits until twelve o’clock. The Chinese New Year is the
most beloved holiday in China.”
One more example: One of my students ( Joshua, 13) did a wonder-
ful job of creating an opening hook after a typical freewriting opening.
His freewrite began, “One of my mom’s favorite hobbies is reading. She
likes to read all sorts of material – newspapers, magazines, books, novels
and pamphlets.” During the revising stage, his mother helped him to
narrow the focus of this piece. Instead of it being primarily about
Joshua’s mother’s reading habits, the writing took a modified direction. It
became a piece about how his mother’s reading habits had impacted their
relationship with each other and books.
The following opening is the revised version:
88

“‘This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home.’ I
snuggled up on the couch beside my mom, and she would begin a
story… As far back as I can remember my mother has always read
to us. Reading is a dominant pastime in our home. It is one of my
mom’s favorite hobbies.”
Typical weaknesses in children’s
writing.
Isn’t this lovely? The fact that it makes you want to keep reading Vague descriptions
proves that he is communicating with impact.
Unclear processes
• Awkward phrasing. Once you’ve reworked one key element at a
time that improves the meaning of a piece of writing (where you’ve spent Mediocre reporting
a week or two narrowing the focus and expanding the writing), you can Weak openings
tackle basic structural problems.
Remember Logan’s free-write from Chapter 4? Let’s look at one of Awkward phrasing
his sentences.
I want to go hunting a bear with my Dad and brother and my Gus.
Logan should listen to this opening sentence. Read it to him, then

ask, “How does this sound to you?” Listen to his answer. If it sounds fine
to him, it may mean that he needs more time to develop his speaking
skills. You can isolate those times when he rambles or stops and starts
awkwardly and guide him to clearer speech. Logan would do well to
learn the art of oral narration first before being made to write much
more.
However, most kids will recognize that there are some problems with
the above sentence. Let your child hear what is missing and then let him
fix the problem. If he can only identify it (sounds funny), help him to
hear it with the corrections. You read the two versions (the wrong one
and then the right one) so he can pick which sentence sounds better.
The goal is to teach your child to hear what he writes. Most of us
read as though someone were speaking inside of our heads. Your child
needs to learn to do this as he writes. If you live in a region of the coun-
try that has known grammatical problems, (I live in Cincinnati where
people say routinely, “She don’t like to go to the store,” for instance) be
on the lookout for these to appear in your child’s writing. Explain that in
your region, when people use a certain expression or grammatical con-
struction, they aren’t using standard English.
Get to know the mistakes that your family makes or that are com-
mon in your town. Take the opportunity to teach the proper usage. Over
time your child will be able to distinguish between her regional dialect
issues and proper usage. Her sense of grammar becomes intuitive.
A correct version of Logan’s first sentence would be:
I want to go hunting for a bear with my Dad, my brother and my dog,
Gus.
There are very few changes here. The idea stays exactly the same.
These few improvements make a huge difference in how well it reads,
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but not in what it communicates. This is key to understanding the point

of writing, revising and editing.
Writing is a servant to communication. And communication is best
fostered when writing is approached in the order of these steps:
Freewriting (drafting), revising (narrowing and expanding), editing
(mopping up the mess) and publishing (finding readers).
Ready, get set, begin

Now that your child has freewritten, take one of his products and
read the first four categories for revision. Can you identify the main
idea? Are there points that are unclear or vague? How can this piece
show more imagination? And what structure would best support this
piece of freewriting? Is it more like a letter or mini-report? Does it beg
to be written as a story or as a journal entry? Answer these questions
first.
I revised with scissors and pins.
Then follow this assessment with one thought or idea or section to
Pasting is too slow and you can’t narrow and expand. Find a weak opening or words that label the experi-
undo it, but with pins you can ence instead of describing it in detail. Take this element and schedule a
move things anywhere to any- time to freewrite about it further. Narrow the topic and expand the writ-
where, and that’s what I really
love doing—putting things in
ing. Then on another day, do it again for another sentence or section. Do
their best and proper place, this multiple times until the interest starts to wane. If your student has
revealing things at the time reworked several sections, let that be enough. You certainly don’t want to
when they matter most. Often I wear him or her out.
shift things from the very
beginning to the very end.
You’ll then take these bits and type them up. Print the results. Cut
Small things—one fact, one up the sentences or paragraphs and rearrange them in the best order. Try
word—but things important to out different ideas—move the end to the beginning, start with a quote,
me. It’s possible I have a reverse perhaps, carefully examine the steps to see if they follow a natural
mind, and do things backwards,
being a broken left-hander.
sequence. Save these results for the next step—editing.
—Eudora Welty Glossary of writing forms
Ordinary paragraph. These come in various forms. There are
“expository paragraphs” (fancy way of saying a paragraph that exposes
something), “descriptive paragraphs” (painting a picture with words),
“narrative paragraphs” (telling back information in story form) and
“informative paragraphs” (the old “how to make a peanut butter sand-
wich or birdhouse” paragraphs). “Persuasive paragraphs” are another
whole ball of wax (which I hope your young kids won’t write and your
older kids only write after some clear instruction… stay tuned— “Help
for High School” will be out in 2002).
Paragraphs defy strict definition. I get tired of the ones bandied
about. And I’m sick to death of hearing that adult homeschooling moth-
ers are nervous about teaching them! That reminds me of my irrational
fear of fractions. Even after ten years of baking, I broke out in hives
opening my son’s 4th grade Miquon math book. Would I be able to find
common denominators? Did I remember how to divide a fraction? Oh
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horrors! Needless to say, my son learned fractions. And so did I… indeed

I had already learned them in the kitchen.
So it is with you. If you read magazines, books, Internet articles, or
the newspaper, you are already well acquainted with paragraphs. When
you read your child’s writing, read it as if you know exactly what a para-
graph is. Then treat it accordingly.
Remember learning to drive a stick shift? Who among you looks at
the RPM gauge to decide when to change gears? Stick shift driving can
be taught that way. But if I looked at the RPMs every time I got near
shifting, I’d have wrecked far more cars than I already have. I can’t keep
my eyes on the road and the RPMs at the same time. So I learned to
change gears by the way the engine sounds and feels. As the gears rev, I
feel the need to shift and so, voila, I shift.
In paragraphing, as the mood shifts, I hit return. That’s it. Keep ideas
together. Create new paragraphs for new ideas or those related ideas that
have progressed or moved on from the original. Don’t fret. As many edi-
tors will tell you, some of paragraphing is determined by the visual needs
of the reader. Is this section getting too long? Can we indent here and
keep the flow?
The best way to teach the paragraph is to pay attention to grouping
ideas. As your kids get older and they move into writing forms that are
more consciously structured (such as the five paragraph essay), the rules
for crafting a paragraph will be much more clearly delineated for that
specialized writing format. But while your younger kids are growing into
writers, your intuitive sense of which sentences hang together is sufficient
for paragraph instruction. So don’t look at the paragraph meter too close-
ly to decide when to shift—you’ll crash.
Letters. There are lots of books to tell you the forms for business
letters and the like. And feel free to use them even with kids who aren’t
headed toward office work. On the other hand, most kids just need
instruction in basic letter writing. Teach your kids to do what you do
when you write a letter.
Dear Big Shot,
Yada, yada, yada.
Warmly,
Affectionately,
Sincerely,
Yours Truly,
‘Forward this email or else-ly,’
Scribble your name here
Mini-Reports. I like ‘em. Mostly I like them because of the word

“mini.” Attaching the word “mini” to report is a psychological trick that
works. It helps me forget how much I hate report writing because I end
91

up thinking about pleasant things like mini skirts, and Minnie Mouse
and being done in a jiffy…
My idea of a mini report is that it ought to be one page, one side—
An editor’s job is to shape the
expression of the author’s usually about four paragraphs long. One paragraph to get in, two to
thoughts, not the thoughts explain and one to get out. If your kids are older, two pages (front and
themselves... Sometimes the back) is reasonable, though not necessary.
author’s voice is an integral part
of a thought and must be pre- Journaling. I won’t go into it here, but journaling is the wellspring
served, even if it is loathsome to of my soul. It’s the source of all wisdom and insight into my very dra-
the editorial ear.
matic and complex life. It contains my deepest secrets, fears and longings.
—Arthur Plotnik Oh! Sorry. I didn’t mean to start journaling right here!
The Elements of Editing
Some kids love to journal. Others don’t. Don’t make a big deal about
it either way. For the ones who don’t like it—here’s what I do. I recom-
mend that those kids only write in a journal after a big, memory-filled
event (which means that sometimes entries are made every other year).
These are events like Fall Weekend with the youth group, a family vaca-
tion to the beach, a surprise birthday party, camping in the mountains
with Grandma, learning to drive a car, flying a remote controlled air-
plane, or dancing a waltz.
If you encourage journal writing when the event is worth preserving
for future enjoyment, journaling becomes a vehicle for self-expression. If
you require it every day and the most exciting moment of the week is
paying overdue fines at the library, then journaling becomes drudgery.
For your kids who write in diaries anyway, never require it. Let your
child develop his or her own sense of rhythm in keeping a journal.
There’s no need to interfere since they do it naturally. (For ideas about
journal topics, check Chapter 12.)
Mom’s Assignment
Here’s a recap of the steps to take for revising a freewrite.
• Read your child’s draft together.
• Underline or asterisk the parts that need expansion.
• Ask your child to freewrite for five minutes about one of the
vague or unclear sections in the original draft on one day.
Continue this way while interest stays high. I usually recommend
that a student only narrow and expand two to three parts per paper,
and that he do each of them on separate days.
• Type the newly written freewrites and the original into the com-
puter and then print it all out. Cut up the sentences or sections.
Lay them on the floor and rearrange them many times until satisfied
with the best order.
• Reorganize the paper on the computer (or rewrite a clean draft).
Then move onto the editing guide in the next chapter.
Take some time to notice that your child’s writing is moving along
from chaos to composure. It’s truly remarkable to see where a writing
92

project starts and where it ends up. I save all drafts (the messy ones on
the wrinkled flyers) right through to the final, bound product. It makes
my kids feel really good to see that they’ve persevered through to a
meaningful end.
Samples
The following sample is a draft written by one of my students. I
include her original and then my comments so that you can get a feel for
how to make comments to your kids.
93

I love horses so much. I am very horse crazy. My sister and I go to a

place to ride horses once a week. I ride a horse named Tikki.
She is so beautiful. I love the way she canters and her creamy col-
ored mane blows in the wind. She has the softest brown eyes.
When she is not bored, she walks proudly, her head held high. Tikki
has two white boots on her back legs, and has a white stripe down
her nose. Tikki is some kind of Appaloosa. I do not know what kind.
She has brown and white hairs mixed together. A little bit of brown
spots is on her hindquarters. She feels soft and silky. Under Tikki’s
mane is very toasty.
When I ride her I feel like I never want to get off. I like hearing the
clop of her hooves on the ground. I’m always proud riding her. While
I’m holding the rains, I feel her playing with the bit. I love cantering
in the open fields. When we are moving fast, you feel like you’re fly-
ing. I also love the smell of horses. I think it is just fun being around
Tikki and the other horses.
—Rachel (12)
Dear Rachel,
This is a lovely freewrite full of descriptive detail and power. A
pleasure to read.
I have a couple comments:
“I love horses so much. I am very horse crazy.
My sister and I go to a place to ride horses once a week. I ride a
horse named Tikki.
She is so beautiful. I love the way she canters and her creamy col-
ored mane blows in the wind.”
Ask yourself “how.” How does the mane blow in the wind?
Then add that here.
“She has the softest brown eyes. When she is not bored, she walks
proudly, her head held high.”
This is a nice description.
“Tikki has two white boots on her back legs, and has a white stripe
down her nose. Tikki is some kind of Appaloosa. I do not know what
kind.”
You can leave out that you don't know what kind since you say
“some kind of.”
“She has brown and white hairs mixed together.”
Rework the above sentence to make it read more smoothly.
“She has small brown spots on her hind quarters.”
“She feels soft and silky. Under Tikki’s mane is very toasty.”
Add this to the sentence: “When I put my hands under Tikki's
mane, they feel toasty.” Or something similar to that.
94

“When I ride her I feel like I never want to get off. I like hearing the
clop of her hooves on the ground. I’m always proud riding her. While
I’m holding the rains, I feel her playing with the bit. I love cantering
in the open fields. When we are moving fast, you feel like you’re fly-
ing.”
You should avoid the “you” form in personal narrative. Always
tell me about your experience in the first person “When we are
moving fast, I feel like we are flying.”
“I also love the smell of horses. I think it is just fun being around Tikki
and the other horses.”
This is a lovely piece and only needs a bit of clean-up to be
complete. Great job!
Expansion exercise
As an example of how to expand the second draft of a freewrite, I
include Gabrielle’s (8) research that goes with her fictional diary in
Chapter 9—Adventuring Maid.
Conditions on the ship
1. FOOD
The food aboard the MAYFLOWER is bad. Mainly the food is salt-
horse and hardtack. Salt-horse is salted meat of a kind, sometimes
horse. Hardtack is hard ship’s biscuit or bread. There was cheese
as well, but it had bugs in it, and it got moldy in time.
2. CONDITION OF SHIP
The MAYFLOWER is a cargo ship. It usually had wine aboard.
This is good for one reason, because the drippings of the wine
washed away the smell of garbage. But the MAYFLOWER was not
a passenger ship. And she carried thirty-four sailors and one hun-
dred and two passengers.
3. CLOTHES
The Puritans did not wear just plain white-and-black clothes—
those were just for Sunday. The women wore long woolen dresses
that were usually red, green, or blue. Girls always wore the same
as the mothers. The men and boys wore long-sleeved blue or
green shirts, leather or woolen jackets called doublets, and pants
called breeches. When boys were not yet six, they wore long
dresses.
4. SICKNESSES
There was ship’s fever aboard. Lots of the Pilgrims had it. The
sailors were always praying that the fever would go away. A ser-
vant of the doctor, Will Buttun, had it seriously. The doctor could
not do anything and Will died. But later a baby was borne, and he
was named Oceanus.
5. FRIENDLINESS TOWARDS EACH OTHER ON THE SHIP
You may think that the sailors and the Puritans would have gone
together like jolly and jingle, but they did not. The sailors were dis-
gusted at the Puritans because of their holy worship and prayers.
Once a sailor said he was tempted to throw half of them into the
95

sea. The Puritans hated the sailors because of their manners and
bad language. But at the end of the journey, the sailors admired
the Puritans for their courage, and the Puritans were thankful that
the sailors got them safely to America.
6. ENTERTAINMENT ON THE SHIP
There was almost, as everyone knows, no entertainment aboard
the MAYFLOWER. If you enjoyed the sea, jump on deck. If you
liked the sailors (and you managed to slip away from your parents)
you might just go up and watch them. If you were like Isabelle, a
teenager helper, you would do mainly four things: (1) Help cook.
(2) Mend clothes. (3) Play with the little children. (4) Wet clothes
for people that are seasick. And like everyone else, you would
wonder about the free world, America.
7. WEATHER DURING THE MAYFLOWER
The weather (if it were a person), might have been agreeable
enough to pity the Puritans and send good, calm winds. But since
the weather is not a person, that cannot be it. The weather was
cold, crisp, and extra strong wind. It was good for the ship, but I
have not told the fourth thing: Bad Storms. They twirled and
swirled and bounced and pounced and shook and took and played
and swayed, and because of all this, it is simple enough to say
that that is the reason people got seasick. I feel (if I was childish
enough) I might say “GO AWAY, YOU WEATHER.”
David’s (12) Freewrites and expansions

Initial freewrite:
I am a writer about science. I like writing even though I always
make mistakes. You want me to write about you and your happiest
moment? Oh yeah, let’s just cut to the main part. I am writing
about snapping turtles which will snap mini-vans to pieces. Just
kidding! Anyway, I have a friend who owns a pond that has only
three snapping turtles in it. They never come out though. Do I have
to send one out to...
David expanded his freewrite in the following paragraph:
Let’s get back to snapping turtles. As I will give you advice you will
listen to. Snapping turtles are of two kinds, alligator snapping tur-
tles and common snapping turtles. Unlike box turtles or soft
shelled turtles, alligators do not eat snapping turtles. Anyone can
see why, I suppose. The alligator snapping turtle is the largest of
the freshwater turtles. Although the alligator snapping turtle may be
slightly smaller than an adult sea turtle, the alligator snapping turtle
is still the largest because sea turtles live in salt water. Its powerful
jaw...
Julie, initially I thought this sounded so much like an encyclopedia
entry that I thought David might have plagiarized from memory.
However, I looked at the books he used and this is his own work.
—Ginny (David’s mom)
96

Snapping Turtles: After revision

It would be fun to be a snapping turtle. You’d have to live underwater
most of the time, find fish and frogs to eat, and avoid being eaten by
bigger animals.
As you can see, I am moving on about turtles. Snapping turtles have
interesting ways for catching fish. A snapping turtle hides under
water, waiting for a fish to swim by. As the fish swims by, the turtle’s
mouth hangs open and it mistakes the snapping turtle’s tongue for a
worm. It swims right into the turtle’s mouth.
Snapping turtles are usually found in ponds, but can also be found in
lakes and maybe even creeks. It is perfect for them to live in ponds
because they have chances of finding their food. They also have
better chances of sunning themselves than they would in a creek.
The reason why is because there are less trees blocking the sun.
—David (12)
97

98

Chapter 8
Machete Mechanics
Editing Made Easy
our child hands you an otherwise brilliant paper but the punctua-
Y tion, grammar and spelling curl your hair (or straighten it). What do
you do? I have a couple of tricks for improving almost any piece of writ-
ing.
This is the editing phase of the writing process. In magazine termi-
nology, we call it copy editing. That means that the major rewriting is
done and all we’re looking for now is the stuff that makes it hard to
read—misspellings, typos, missing punctuation, last minute grammar
mistakes and so on. Editing is the mop-up. If your kids can find their
own errors, so much the better. The beautiful part of writing is
But once they’ve given editing their best shot, your job is to come in that you don’t have to get it
behind and find all the rest of their errors. Just mark the mistakes in red right the first time, unlike, say,
(or lime green—no need to perpetuate that red pen thing) so that when a brain surgeon.
your student copies over she’ll be copying everything correctly. —Robert Cromier
Here come da hints

First of all, don’t worry about learning all the grammar rules. When
they are learned out of the context of real writing, most students retain
little more than the ordinary constructions and markers. That’s normal.
It’s also true about you. In case you haven’t noticed, you rarely con-
sult memorized grammar rules when you write. You consult your intu-
ition and make some mistakes. But mostly, you get 90% of the stuff right Editing is the same as quarrel-
every time. ing with writers—same thing
exactly.
And amazingly, most normal punctuation (the 90% that you use on a
regular basis) is very regular and easy to learn. A grammar book can —Harold Ross
adjust the rest (those pesky ‘M’ dashes, semi-colons, and misplaced mod-
99

CHAPTER 8 MACHETE MECHANICS
ifiers). That’s right. You can cheat and sort out the mistakes with a refer-
ence book.
My favorite grammar reference books are especially easy to use with
This editing process was a roller
coaster ride for me. I reviewed kids. They’re called Nitty Gritty Grammar and More Nitty Gritty
the editing information with Grammar and are written by the Grammar Patrol: Edith Fine and Judith
Randy, gave him a list of what Josephson. These grammar sleuths use syndicated cartoons to illustrate
to look for, and set him loose. I
common grammar mistakes. Then they take the pains to explain in real
was perfectly prepared for him
to ‘not have everything right.’ life English what the grammar concept is all about. The headings make
He did all of the appropriate it very easy to find answers to any grammar question you face.
steps, then read his paper aloud Amazon.com and major bookstores carry them.
to me. I heard the improve-
ments he made, gave praise, and The Truth about me
discussed a couple of places he
might wish to clarify or expand.
Before we go any further, I need to let you know a few details about
my background. I’m not an English teacher. I don’t have a degree in
He worked through that dis-
course quite well, then we got to
English. And I’m not a grammarian.
the “type it in the computer” Ironically, I am an editor and freelance writer. I worked for three
phase. I decided to help him years as the senior editor of one publication, edited two books about
halfway through as we were in a worship, have ghost written four others, and worked with my husband as
time crunch. The intonation and
pauses he read were not reflect-
an editor of Doctor of Ministry dissertations for Talbot seminary stu-
ed in what was written. This dents. My articles have been published in several magazines as well,
was hard for me to see. I do including most recently Home Education Magazine. Currently, I’m a con-
expect more out of him. I had to tributing editor to Worship Leader magazine.
step back and listen to the
music of his heart. I’m going to
Though I didn’t study English in college, I did major in history
call it done for now. It is a map largely because it was a major that expected expository writing. I loved to
of where to go, on several levels. write essays. And I did well in that major for that reason. As I got older,
—Terry I discovered that my skills in writing could also earn me a little extra
money. That’s how I crossed over into editing. I’ve been a rabid self-
I liked this insightful look at taught writer and editor ever since.
Terry’s son, Randy. She sees that
The techniques and opinions I express in this chapter come from a
he’s getting in touch with his
writing voice, but she’s also sur- working knowledge of writing in the real world. There may be those who
prised that he’s not as far along take issue with my cavalier approach to grammar, punctuation and usage.
as she wanted him to be in the But I stand on my observations. Degrees in English aren’t necessary to
mechanics. If we can see each
teach writing to kids. I’m convinced that educated adults have enough
writing session as a record of
where our kids have been and know-how in the basics of written langauge to adequately instruct their
where they still need to go, we own children in writing. Most of the writing that any of us do in our
can let go of the worry that they adult lives will not be in the halls of academia anyway, but in the byways
should already have arrived. —jb
of life.
Additionally, I know that homeschooling mothers won’t master the
rules for grammar or English usage. They simply don’t have that kind of
time. And yet even without these skills, I firmly believe (and have wit-
nessed) that, by and large, mothers are capable of making the necessary
editorial changes their children’s papers need.
The attitude to keep is the one I embrace even in my paid work:
humility. Recognize your need for reference books, the Internet and
other readers when in doubt of a spelling, punctuation rule or grammar
100

principle. And if you still feel woefully inadequate, take the time to learn
the rudimentary skills I discuss in the next section.
The Truth about mechanics Punctuation is a framework for

writing, not a straight jacket.
Have you ever been reading the dictation to your kids only to discov- —jb
er that right there in a published book, the author (or editor) made a
noticeable punctuation error? That happened to me recently. I was read-
ing along when suddenly the sentence featured a semi-colon and what
followed was not a complete sentence or a list. Yet the rule plainly states
that semi-colons can only be used to separate two complete sentences or
to indicate a subsequent list.
Question: Did the writer get in trouble by anyone for this misuse of
the semi-colon? Can you think why not?
Two reasons: First of all, the author can choose to use punctuation to
suit his own purposes. The punctuation police aren’t going to come after
him. Secondly, few people have mastered the rules of grammar and
punctuation. It probably escaped the notice of his editor as well. Did this
error impinge on the communication of this sentence? In this instance, it
didn’t. Sometimes it will. And it’s for those occasions that we try to
oblige the rules of grammar and punctuation.
Punctuation is a framework for writing, not a straight jacket. It’s
meant to enhance and support the communication of the writer to the
reader. Sometimes mistakes in grammar have devastating consequences.
For this reason, it’s a good idea to keep that reference out on the table
during the editing stage.
All in all, there are a few principles to keep in mind when writing
and teaching your kids. If your kids learn these, they can clean up 90% of
their writing and use the reference books for the rest.
1. Learn how to identify a complete sentence. Both poorly written
fragments and run-on sentences undermine the flow of thought in writ-
ing. A well-placed fragment that’s understood to both writer and reader
can be an artistic flourish. Knowing the difference is the key. Fragments
that are accidental make your child’s writing appear amateurish. Run-on
sentences make your child’s writing exhausting to read.
2. Nail the following three areas of punctuation: capitalization, end
marks and the use of quotation marks/apostrophes. These must be Commas should be used where
mastered with flawless execution by around 9th grade. (I keep apostro- you would normally pause if
you were reading the sentence
phes and quotation marks together—just like on your computer key- aloud. They should be used
board.) where there is possible ambigu-
ity in parsing the sentence
3. Commas turn out to be discretionary, for the most part. Sure you without them.
can make all the rules you like for them, but ultimately they have more
— Robert M. Keller
to do with how you breathe when you write (where you naturally pause) Common English Mistakes by
than with too many rigid rules. One general rule of thumb—too few is Graduate Students
101

better than too many. And of course, my mantra: when in doubt, check
the guidelines in a reference book. There are some rules that deserve to
be followed. If you regularly consult the little book, you’ll develop famil-
iarity with the typical uses of commas. And then you can pass this infor-
mation on to your kids.
That’s it. Simple? Yes it is.
"Help! I never learned this stuff myself."
There are some mothers who feel utterly inadequate to teach the
mechanics of writing. They can’t rely on their intuition for commas or
paragraphing. One of my friends in Los Angeles, for instance, grew up in
a bi-lingual home. She speaks English and Spanish fluently, but never
learned how to write or read very well in either. She couldn’t even write a
birthday card using periods, commas or capitals, so incomplete was her
sense of a sentence.
As she began to teach her children, naturally the subject of writing
terrified her! To educate herself, she took private tutoring lessons from
an English teacher. She became the student before becoming the teacher.
What a smart woman! When we are deficient in an area, there’s
nothing that says we can’t learn as adults.
Another friend of mine went to a small country school as a child
where the educational environment was sadly inadequate. She, too, felt
uncomfortable with basic punctuation and writing forms. Her strategy
has been to learn alongside her children, reading everything she can and
writing right along with them.
Both of these mothers come from backgrounds where the ordinary
course of education failed them. Most of us didn’t have that experience.
We may not be experts in the demands of academic writing, but we have
reasonable familiarity with the basics of punctuation and grammar. As
you teach your kids, as you use grammar references, as you write and read
more yourself, your own education in this area will grow and you’ll find
yourself much more comfortable with editing your children’s work for
mistakes.
Spelling
Good spelling is an attitude.
Years of memorizing words do
not add up to good spelling So what about spelling? Ahh. Those books and books of words. Yes,
unless a student cares. And stu- spelling is the difference: you are either from the backwaters of a bayou
dents who care are produced by
teachers who care.
or an esteemed college graduate. Spelling makes the biggest subliminal
impact on the reader of your entire piece.
—Ruth Beechik
A Strong Start in Language
There are two keys to growing as a speller. The first one is caring (as
Ruth Beechik says—see margin note). To care means that the writer will
do what it takes to get her spelling right. She must use a spell check, get
several people to read her drafts and begin to notice which words she
habitually misspells.
The second key is reading. The more writers read, the more their
spelling will improve. Yes, I see those hands. You read a ton and still can’t
102

spell. There are many people just like you. That simply means you must
care more than others; you need a crutch to make up for your disability.
True for your kids too. Don’t be ashamed of it; just make up the differ-
Spelling mistakes I made in my
ence. (For a more complete discussion of spelling, see Chapter 1.) fourth grade diary (even though
Copywork and dictation (Chapter 1) are the tools of choice for I was a spelling bee champ).
teaching spelling. I don’t use spelling books to teach it. Instead, we spend • “atmit”—admit
time writing and copying over real words in their meaningful contexts.
• “realetors”—realtors
Can you use Spelling Power or ACSI spelling books? Sure. Just pay
• “earthqake”—earthquake
attention. See if you’re getting accurate spelling in your child’s writing. If
they ace the test but continue to misspell the words in their original • “jurked”—jerked
writing, then you need to spend more time in copywork. • “too”—to
During the editing phase, you’ll ask your child to look for his own Sometimes we forget that it
misspellings—any he can identify. Tell him to underline the misspelled takes years before we spell most
word and then to rewrite it correctly. He can either look the word up or words correctly most of the
time. —jb
ask you for the correct spelling. In either case, he ought to be the one to
rewrite it correctly.
What’s a complete sentence?

A complete sentence is not only a matter of identifiable parts of
speech arranged in a certain way; it’s also a matter of feel. Yes, there’s a
subject and a predicate. And I assume you all know what those are, or
how to find out. Be sure to teach these to your kids at some point too.
Just the basics—the first part of the sentence and the second. I’m a fan of
Winston Grammar.
Still, the real point is that a sentence expresses a complete thought.
You’re left feeling that all that needed to be said was said. Your internal
reading voice is not left hanging or rereading or wondering. Sometimes a
few words will do it. Sometimes not. Look at that last sentence.
“Sometimes not” is a fragment. But it works. Therefore, it is a sentence
that is a fragment that works and so is a sentence. Get it?
Writers use well-placed fragments to break up the monotony.
Readers need a change of pace to stick with you. They like sentence vari-
ety and rhythm when they read. Fragments that communicate complete
thoughts do the trick. So don’t make your kids eliminate one that works
just because it’s a fragment.
And I trust you to know when they work. You’re a reader. If you get
it, then most likely other readers will too. If you’re bugged, left hanging
or are wondering when to breathe in the paragraph, you’ll know that
your child has led you down an incomplete primrose sentence path.
Mark it and look for a better way to say it.
The other enemy of the complete sentence is the run-on sentence.
These are especially common with kids. They get rolling along in their
thinking and completely forget about punctuation. Ask your children to
read aloud their work so that they can see where they miss the punctua-
tion. If they automatically punctuate as they read (without stopping to
103

write in those periods and question marks), ask for the paper and then
you read it aloud to them obeying the punctuation as it is written. Be
sure to dramatically read a too-long sentence by sucking in huge drafts of
Because I want to make writing
a safe place for my kids, free air and hurrying through the words to get to the end of the sentence
from the fear of not measuring before running out of breath. This usually alerts a kid to what’s wrong.
up to some exacting, impossible The comma splice is also another sentence-wrecking culprit. A
standard, I’m working harder at comma splice is the attempt of the writer to string together two com-
consistently using dictation,
copywork, and narration to pass plete sentences because they seem related. Blow the whistle. Illegal pro-
on the needed language arts cedure!
abilities. Here’s an example:
"Getting the laundry done, making dinner and cleaning the bathroom
I am finding that it’s much bet-
are jobs that none of my kids likes to do, they always cry and whine
ter for us to talk about quota-
and complain."
tion marks or whatever using
someone else’s writing rather
than our own. Then, I’m These are two sentences illegally joined by a comma. At this point,
encouraging the transfer of
those skills into their own writ-
the writer has two choices. Either the sentences can be separated by a
ing before they write and not period:
ripping apart what they’ve
are jobs that none of my kids likes to do. They always whine and
already written.
But I’m also seeing how badly complain."
they need help in spelling,
punctuation and those other Or a semi-colon can join them:
things they hate the mention of!
are jobs that none of my kids likes to do; they always whine and com-
The increased writing they’re
plain."
doing has also given the kids a
grasp of why I want them to
learn that stuff—it sure makes
The job of a semi-colon is to join two complete sentences that are
writing easier to read and
understand! related. Be on the lookout for comma splices and run-on sentences.
When your child reads aloud to you, she may not notice them (since
—Rachel
most kids don’t read for punctuation very well when they are first learn-
ing to read aloud). Older kids should become increasingly aware of
watching for these kinds of errors, so remind them.
Caps, end marks and quotes

All of these punctuation marks become habit for your kids if you
tirelessly ask them to self-correct after they write a draft. The workbooks
don’t make half as much difference as you’d like them to. What works is
to remind your darlings to check every sentence for capitals and end
marks before showing it to you.
Quotation marks and apostrophes (which I lump together like they
do on a keyboard) deserve careful instruction with workbook pages or
choice dictation passages. Go easy on your young writers. Be ruthless
with your older ones.
The point here is to be sure that by 9th grade, your kids never miss
any of these. If you crack the whip and get them in gear starting now (at
whatever age you find them), their mastery of these essential ingredients
104

will serve them for the rest of their writing lives (and they’ll fool every-
one into thinking they’re good at punctuation).
Here’s a quick reference for quotation marks and apostrophes (to
refresh your memories):
Quotes go around the things people say, discuss, ask, explain and so
on.
“Using quotes is so easy,” said Prunella.
The quotes go around the spoken words and the sentence is separat-
ed from “said Prunella” by a comma instead of a period. The closed quote
is behind the comma (outside of it).
“I’m astounded that some people don’t know how to use quotes!” she
exclaimed.
The exclamation point goes inside the quote in dialog. So does the
question mark when the spoken sentence is a question.
Quotes go around the spoken sentence like this when the sentence is
broken up by stating who is saying it:
“I am quotable,” shared Prunella shyly, “because I’m on TV.”
The commas set the speaker off from the speech. But remember that
the comma and the period go inside the closed quote mark.
Apostrophes pose some problems for novices. The basic rule for an
apostrophe is that you use it to replace missing letters (as in contractions)
and to indicate possession. The tricky part is to know how to coordinate
these with other punctuation.
• Apostrophes go inside quotation marks.
• Don’t forget the plural possessive. “The girls’ bathroom is next to the
gym.”
• An apostrophe with a quotation mark looks very muddled. Actually, it
just goes in layers.
Prunella says, “Don’t forget that mistakes of this kind are the kids’.”
This sentence is a good example because the period goes after the
apostrophe (since it’s part of the word) and before the quotation
mark.
That’s it! Use your grammar reference for better explanations and a
more in-depth look at how to use quotation marks and apostrophes. For
kids who become interested in the next layer of punctuation and gram-
mar, be sure to teach them. Grammar is not difficult if you think about it
as its own course of study. Don’t imagine that it will improve your child’s
ability to write, necessarily. A working knowledge of proper grammar
and usage will, however, support and enhance the writing your kids do.
But the skill called “understanding grammar” doesn’t do anything to help
kids think of ideas or to generate words on paper.
105

Instead, treat grammar as a science with its own vocabulary.

Learning how language works is fascinating and it will come in handy
later when your child is learning a foreign language. Whatever she didn’t
get in English will become suddenly very important when speaking
German.
My rule of thumb is to teach grammar three times over the course of
a child’s educational life: once in elementary school, once in junior high
and once in high school. I like Grammar Songs for elementary school and
Winston Grammar and Advanced Winston Grammar for older kids.
Pay ‘em off

In my house, any typo in print
To increase my kids’ interest in punctuation and grammar, I award
earns my kids a quarter. They them a quarter any time they find a mistake in printed material.
have to find it, explain why it’s a Everything from the back of cereal boxes to church bulletins counts. My
mistake and tell me what the son found an error in the instruction booklet for a computer game. The
right punctuation mark or
spelling is. If they’re right, I dig
writer had started a parenthetical statement and left off the “closed”
through my purse for twenty- parenthesis. Local newspapers are notorious for typos, as my friend Jane
five cents. alerted me.
—jb Kids are eager for those quarters. So most of the time they find
problems that aren’t there. My eight-year-old son misunderstood that
writers will often misspell words, for example, when trying to indicate
how a dialect might sound. I love it when my kids find a “problem” that
isn’t there. I’m given an instant opportunity to teach a grammar, punctu-
ation or usage lesson that would’ve provoked a daydream in a school set-
ting.
It’s also very satisfying to your kids to find a mistake and know that
they know. Watch your kids enjoy editing. It’s fun.
Editing workout
Now that your kids have written a draft of a writing project and have
revised it by narrowing and expanding the ideas within it, it’s time for
the final clean-up.
1. Type or rewrite a clean copy. Sometimes there are so many scraps
I was not aware of how much of paper, arrows and asterisks on the original draft(s), it’s hard to even
my opinions are influenced by see the mistakes. If you start with a clean copy, finding the errors is
sheer sloppiness. I truly need to
much easier. For younger kids, I like to type the clean copy. Older kids
type up my children’s work so I
can see it for what it is. can type up their own. (If, by the way, you get in the habit of using the
computer, making changes in the drafts is much less annoying.)
—Rita
2. Create an editing guide that grows with your child. When you
send your child back to the freewrite to edit, it helps to create an editing
guide. It can be a very simple list written on a scratch piece of paper or
more elaborate (computer generated and printed out). The idea is to
identify the parts of grammar, punctuation and spelling that you know
your child can be responsible to check himself. Then give him that list so
that he is reminded of what to look for.
106

The list might include things like:

• dialog quotes
• end marks Our business is to provide chil-
• capitals
dren with material in their
lessons, and leave the handling of
• paragraph indentation
such material to themselves (with
• spelling bugaboos (like “their,” “they’re,” and “there” or “because”

regards to punctuation, gram-
mar and spelling).
or “why,” “when,” and “where” and so on) —Charlotte Mason
Home Education
Choose punctuation marks that your kids have mastered in dictation.
In other words, if your daughter consistently gets all her capitals correct
and is reliable in remembering end marks, then ask her to look for these
in her writing and to find and correct any errors she discovers.
If she is weak in dialog punctuation, don’t expect her to find those
mistakes. Simply look for them yourself after she’s had her turn checking
her work. Do the same with spelling. My kids have some quirky spelling
habits. One of them misspells the three forms of “there” regularly and
spells “said” as “siad.” So I remind my son to look for these specifically.
3. Hand your child a red pen. Be sure it has ink in it. There’s noth-
ing more demoralizing than a dry marker. If the pen is cool, your kids
will be eager to find mistakes (and that’s the mode we want them in).
4. Tell her to circle and change the mistaken spelling or punctua-
tion. She can rewrite the word correctly at the bottom of the page or
right above the misspelled word. Insert the new punctuation on the spot.
5. After he’s gone over his paper twice, let him give it to you for
your final mop-up of the remaining errors. There are two things for you
to do with their mistakes at this juncture. First of all, fix ‘em. Just put the
right spelling or punctuation mark where it ought to go. No need to dis-
cuss or express disdain. Just fix the mistake.
Secondly, make a mental (or written) note to yourself to create a little
copywork or dictation that addresses the most prominent punctuation or
spelling error in your child’s writing. When you see a glaring issue (pos-
sessives are off, dialog quotes missing, doesn’t know the difference
between “would’ve” and “would of ”… ), find a way to teach to that
weakness in copywork and dictation. Repeat until you see growth. At the
point at which your child is getting the new concept correct consistently
in his dictation passages, he can be held accountable for finding those
errors in his own writing during the editing phase.
6. Once you’ve both gone over the paper and have made all the
changes, let your child either type it up or copy it over. The act of com-
pleting the final copy with all mistakes corrected is another way to rein-
force and teach punctuation and spelling that he missed in the earlier
drafts.
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Sometimes I do type my kids’ final copies. When the projects are

long or we’ve worked for what feels like an interminable amount of time
on them, I like to speed up the process by typing the final version. If
I usually have poor to absent
relations with editors because you’ve already typed a clean copy for editing, fixing the mistakes in the
they have a habit of desiring final is a piece of cake.
changes and I resist changes. The real goal is to empower your kids to become conscientious about
—William Gass their final products. We want them to take responsibility for their work
on every level. And each phase has its place and reward. Over time (like
over ten years) you will see growth. But it happens slowly—almost
imperceptibly at times. Then a sudden grammar, spelling, punctuation
growth spurt will hit and you’ll think, “Wow. This wasn’t so hard after
all.”
What about all the punctuation that your child misses?

Sometimes it’s downright discouraging to see how many mistakes
your children make in their writing. Having a plan of attack for future
instruction helps to relieve the pressure their inadequate writing pro-
duces inside you. Collect a couple of your kids’ most recent writing sam-
ples. Read them (in the privacy of your own bathroom—or bedroom—
wherever you can escape probing eyes). Look for typical mistakes your
child makes. Write them down.
The list may be long at first:
• spelling (identify specific misspelled words that recur)
• misuse of capitals
• run-on sentences
• awkward sentence constructions
• lack-luster descriptions
• poor organization
• misuse of end marks
• dialog quotes
• commas
• semi-colons
Now choose three. Start with the three things that you want to see
improve over the next few months. Talk to your son or daughter about
them. Create dictation and copywork passages tailored to those needs.
My kids used workbook pages to learn about capitalization and dia-
log punctuation. After completing their lessons with flawless execution, I
gleefully assigned the creative writing task. Fifteen lines later, I was
appalled at the lack of capitals at the beginning of sentences and all the
errors in quotation marks. The only way out was through so I sent the
kids back to their own papers armed with red Flair markers and yelled,
108

“Charge!” Their mission? To mark up their writing wherever they missed Mom’s as editors need to read
applying the rule they supposedly had learned the previous day. widely:
The amazing thing about kids is that they’re quick studies. No, I The special skill of the line edi-
don’t mean they’re quick to retain what they study. Rather, I mean that if tor is working with words. A
mastery of good syntax—how
it means more work for them, they learn almost anything quickly to get words are strung together
out of the extra work. well— can come in only two
By the second creative writing assignment, my daughter magically ways: by spending the first
remembered to capitalize her sentences fifty percent more often than the twenty-five years of one’s life in
a drawing room with E. B.
first freewriting exercise! Now a year later, she routinely remembers her White, Vladimir Nabokov,
caps as she writes. All these edits have taught her more than the work- Elizabeth Bowen, Gabriel
book pages did. Garcia Marquez, Saul Bellow,
The same is true for my son as he learns to care about spelling. He Eudora Welty, John Fowles,
Langston Hughes, Joyce Carol
doesn’t like looking up misspelled words or yelling to me in the other Oates, James Baldwin and John
room for the correct spelling. Updike—or by reading their
As your kids get older, the list of things they need to check on their works and those of other writers
own will get longer and your mop-up job will be shorter. Eventually, in whose choice of words and
word arrangements establishes
college, they can turn to a roommate for that final check on their writing our standards of literate com-
(the writer often misses the typos he creates since he’s too familiar with munication.
his written work). —Arthur Plotnik
Recap
The Elements of Editing
• Teach the big three: What makes a complete sentence, the main
punctuation marks (capitalization, end marks and quotation
marks/apostrophes) and how to use commas.
• Use a grammar reference for everything else.
• Teach your children to edit their own work first. Ask them to
look for the punctuation and spelling that they already know how to
execute. Give them a colored pen to mark what they need to fix/cor-
rect.
• You mop-up the remaining problems. Do this by making the cor-
rections on the draft without a big discussion.
• Child rewrites or types final draft with all mistakes corrected.
109

110

Chapter 9
Finding Readers
Publishing the Final Draft
he truth is that although we mothers get a high off pages of words

T in a folder for the end-of-the-year portfolio, most of our kids don’t.
When writing moves from the interactive kitchen table to a tomb known
as the writing folder or notebook, it disappears from view just when it’s
finally interesting enough to read.
Schools have the same problem. Writing hidden from an audience
and read only by the teacher is a school chore not a creative endeavor.
Kids don’t see the point of working on something that has such a short
life span. The way schools address this problem is to encourage what
The easiest thing to do on
they call, “Publishing.” Sometimes stories are compiled and bound for an earth is not write.
entire class. Sometimes kids are encouraged to compete in writing com-
—William Goldman
petitions. Many classrooms boast bulletin boards dedicated to displaying
the best writing samples in the class.
Publishing is all about finding readers for the writing. And school
teachers know that kids don’t feel their writing has been read simply
because a teacher put a few red marks and a grade on it. By giving kids
other ways to share their writing they elevate the value of the experience.
What can we do at home? First of all, at school, it’s usually the “good
writers” who get honored. But everyone deserves to find readers for their
work, even if the writing is not yet refined and polished. Secondly, since
finding readers is the goal, we don’t have to get bogged down in lots of
complicated methods for “publishing.” Sometimes it’s enough to just sit
with your child on the couch to listen to him read his final version aloud
to you. When followed by a hug and a sincere, “I’m proud of you,” most
kids will feel they’ve accomplished something important.
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CHAPTER 9 FINDING READERS
What to do with finished writing projects:

1. Put writing in clear page protectors and save in a three-ring
binder. Be sure that the notebook is easily accessible to your stu-
dents for frequent re-reading and enjoyment. I like to show these off
I’m amazed at how motivating
to other homeschooling families. My kids like me to show these off to
those clear page protectors
other homeschooling families.
were to my kids. They loved
seeing their work protected
and specially saved in note- 2. Type and print out the assignment. If it’s a significant paper (like
books. They started asking me an essay, report, short story...) be sure to “publish” it. Report folders
what else they could write. are always nice. But you can also go to Kinko's and get the paper
bound. They have a selection of bindings that make the paper feel
and look like a book. (I have a student who bound her story as a gift
—Laura
for relatives).
3. Draw an illustration to go with the paper. This is best for science
projects, fiction and history. Keep the final drawing and writing togeth-
er. Drawing is a nice change from writing and should substitute for
your writing program at that time. Post it in a visible location.
4. Get an audience. Read the paper to Dad, Grandma, a friend, your
homeschool group, or any other worthy choice. A student of mine
started a writing club where she and her friends read their writing to
each other once a month. Don’t forget the value of multiple readings.
Some kids really enjoy sharing their writing many times and ought to
be encouraged to do so. Calling Dad at work is often a nice change of
pace in the school day too.
5. Go out for ice cream—double scoops. In other words, read the
story, essay, report and then celebrate.
6. Very Important—Take a break from writing. Don’t do a new
assignment for another week. The break can be shorter for a short
paper (one that didn't need many of drafts). Still, the point is that it's
nice to enjoy “having written” before launching into a new paper.
Bottom Line:
Sharing writing means finding readers. Whether you find them in
It’s not writing—it’s having
your family or homeschool group, remember to share the finished prod-
written.
—source unknown ucts with readers.
It’s equally important for your kids to become readers as well. When
they hear the writing of kids their own ages, they’ll receive inspiration
that will bleed over into their own work. Literary clubs, homeschool co-
op classes, writing partners, online writing courses—think creatively of
ways to expose your kids to the writing of other children their ages.
Our local library has a teen poetry night where teens come together
to read their poetry. They either read a poem they love or their original
poetry. My kids attended and were so inspired by the poetry they heard
that night that they came home and wrote their own poems.
Interestingly enough, my 13 year-old’s first comment after hearing his
peers share their work was, “Wow. I didn’t know that I wrote such shal-
low poetry.” He went from writing “ditties” to thinking more deeply
about ideas like mortality, chance and suffering.
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Sharing writing has this kind of binary effect. Sharing what you
write is important and valuable to the writer. But just as important and
often overlooked in the homeschool is the value of reading writing by
If you steal from one author, it's
peers. This is another reason that writing classes (whether online or in a plagiarism; if you steal from
co-op) can be a big help in spurring your young writers onto better prod- many, its research.
ucts. We sometimes forget that most kids don’t spend their free time —Wilson Mizner
reading elementary school reports. But what a help it is to them.
I read somewhere that amateurs borrow from the greats whereas
geniuses steal their ideas from other experts. By reading widely (whether
novels by Newberry winners or science reports by peers) kids give them-
selves the opportunity to learn from other writers. They’ll pick up ideas
of how to structure their writing as well as develop a peculiar flair that is
uniquely blended from all the great writing they read.
Examples
A few of my students have found ways to share their writing with
others. I wanted to share these with you.
Two of my students (David R and David K) started a newspaper in
their free time. They printed multiple copies and sold them at our home-
school co-op for 25 cents an issue. The newspaper included cartoons,
articles and stories. And it sold out every time they ran it.
My daughter, Johannah (11), started a literary club that met monthly
at our house. She and five friends would read a novel during the month.
Then they met for a short writing activity, a craft and a snack related to
the story. They also kept booklets called “Golden Lines.” In these book-
lets, they recorded a favorite line from the novel of the month and then
shared the line and the reason for choosing it at their club meetings.
Gabrielle (8) found a very public place to share her writing—on tele-
vision! She wrote the following fictional journal entry during one of my
online writing courses and then submitted it for a competition. She was
selected to read her work on TV. Congratulations Gaby! (By the way,
Gabrielle is an exceptional writer for her age. Her mother often lets
Gaby dictate what she wants to write and then, together, they work on
the revisions. All of the work is Gaby’s but I wanted you paranoid moth-
ers to know that Gabrielle is an exception, not the rule, for age eight.
Still, if you have a prolific storyteller who shows interest in writing, be
sure to facilitate the process in any way you can.)
Gabrielle’s preliminary work for this writing product is in Chapter 7. The
final version follows.
113

Adventuring Maid
by Gabrielle Linnell
I cannot express my feelings that I, Isabelle Sarah Holly, am on a ship
that is going to The New World—America! The Puritans have accept-
ed me. But let me tell you a little about myself.
My name, as you know, is Isabelle Sarah Holly. I will be twelve on
October 3rd. When I was ten, my parents died and I was sent away to
boarding school. My Aunt Katherine and Uncle Peter took me in dur-
ing the holidays, and often came to see me for tea on the weekends.
There is one thing I especially thank them for—they are Puritans.
Being Puritans meant that they were going to America and taking me
with them. I was astonished when Aunt Katherine told me the news,
and a bit afraid of leaving my teachers, my school and luxuries.
But leaving my teachers was just the beginning of my challenges.
Aboard the ship for the past weeks, I have faced many more. I will not
write full details about my weeks here. The most I can say is that it
does not look too hopeful. Four people already have come down with
“ship’s fever” as the doctor calls it.
Clothes and food are no burden to me, but the children have been
complaining because of their clothes being itchy, cold, and that the
colors were fading. We have been wearing the same set of clothing
for the past weeks, and they have been becoming more and more
uncomfortable. Because of that I cannot blame them.
And I cannot say the food is edible. Hardtack is very hard to bear.
“Hard” is the perfect word for hardtack, being ship’s bread or biscuit. If
we had a fire, maybe we could have salt-horse, which is salted
meat—at least that might be edible!
Mainly, my work here on the ship is helping the mothers, feeding the
children, and other little things. One night, all the parents asked me to
put the children to bed, so I did. After I tucked in the last child, I went
to my own little “bed.” It was made of soft sacks for a mattress, a
small pillow my teachers had sewn and given to me, and a blanket
that I had made with some of the dresses that were too small for me.
I also had a small window near my spot, and I looked through it.
After I prayed, I looked through the window again. All evening some-
thing had been in my head and night was my only time to take care of
it. It was this: Is it worth it to go through all these challenges and
changes, to leave my luxurious life in London, to go to the unknown?
But then, why did Aunt Katherine and Uncle Peter leave? Why did all
the Puritans leave? Why did they leave a chance for wealth and luxu-
ry? Why did they leave fashionable England and their homes in
Leyden? Most of all, why did they leave the Motherland, the place
where they grew up, the place that they love, the place that was
home? I went to bed thinking these questions. I thought of some
answers but none of them seemed good. Then, I fell asleep.
I woke up as the sun was rising. Have you ever seen it rise? I felt the
warmth through my fingers, and all through my body. I felt as if I was
the sun, always gold and warm, never cold. I felt as if I was the most
contented person on earth. But then it struck me. It was not a simple
answer, but it was the truest truth. These people came away not just
114

for freedom of religion, politics, but for Freedom of Life.

But then, my biggest question, why did I leave? Why did I leave my
beautiful, luxurious home and school? Yes, those places were full of
memories, but not all of them were happy—Mama and Papa dying,
going to the school in black: I had no friends. And then I knew that
one of the reasons I was going away was because in my innermost
heart, so deep that only light and happiness could enter, I was run-
ning away from these cruel and despairing memories that had haunt-
ed me at the school. This was another reason the Puritans were leav-
ing—they were going to a place where no sin has yet been commit-
ted, a safe place, safe from terrible things that have happened.
115

116

Chapter 10
A Voice Cried in the Jungle

Understanding and Encouraging Writer’s Voice
The Top Ten Writing Elements
onest and authentic, authoritative and confident—these qualities

H inhabit the writing of the authors we love. Readers want very much
to believe the writers they read. They willingly consign five minutes or
five months to a writer’s work hoping to enter her world, her thoughts,
or her ideas. If a reader distrusts the writer or is bored by her, he
becomes irritated. Writers work to create a friendship with the reader
and the chief way they do it is to sustain a distinctive personality on the
written page.
We should write our own
Our kids have powerful, imaginative and unique voices or personali- thoughts in as nearly as possible
ties. Even without words, they identify themselves by their particular the language we thought them
knock on the door or the way they burst into a room. Each personality in, as though in a letter to an
creates a space for itself in a family and is loved for it. intimate friend. We should not
disguise them in any way; for
What a disservice we do our children when we ask them to write and our lives give them force as the
then expect their quirky senses of humor, their slightly jagged, fresh and lives of people in plays give
immature thoughts to sound like an adult or an academic. We must start force to their words.
with who each child is and help that person to emerge in writing. Even —William Yeats
when the writing falls desperately short of magnificence (and it will), if
we can find our child inside the words, if we can urge the person to show
up on the page, the writing will spring to life.
In this chapter, I want to help you think about “writer’s voice” and
what it is. Then we’ll look at the top ten elements that are found in great
writing.
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CHAPTER 10 A VOICE CRIED IN THE JUNGLE
How do we encourage the development of voice?

We’ve looked at ways to discover the untapped images and experi-
ences that make up the mind lives of our children (the Communication
One of my sons received a com-
ment on his most recent report
Game and Keen Observation exercises). I’ve encouraged you to expect
card that I found strangely and listen to oral narrations. We’ve talked about freewriting (Chapter 4).
unsettling. The teacher, in his We’ll explore how to add words to a limited vocabulary (Chapter 12). All
evaluation, denigrated my son’s of these help your child become comfortable with self-expression. And
writing, saying that it was ‘too
conversational.’ What an
that’s at the heart of “writer’s voice.”
What Writer’s Voice isn’t

impossibly lame thought com-
ing from someone hired to
teach writing. Because, I will Many people move from thinking or conversing about their ideas
tell you, for my money good with relative ease (though perhaps in fragments and in an unsorted man-
writing is by its very nature ner), to a kind of paralysis when confronted with paper. Instead of the
conversational.
words pouring forth without effort, the mind kicks into an alternate
A lot of hard work goes into gear—the writing gear. Voices from the past—text books, novelists,
making it look easy. This is a
generalization, but I always say grammar worksheets, mothers and teachers—crowd out the authentic
that the reader’s appreciation of voice of the child-writer. These influences constrict what makes it from
something written tends to be the mind and imagination of the child to the paper.
in inverse relation to the ease
with which the writer wrote it. It can happen like this
Another generalization: people Right now, I’m reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. After reveling
who say they love writing don’t in her vocabulary, British spellings and sophisticated use of language, it’s
do it particularly well. The fact
almost impossible for me to write naturally at first. Her 19th century
is, the act of weaving words
together to look as if they drift- style and language make me want to talk about ‘vigorous and expanded
ed effortlessly onto the page is minds’ or to structure my sentences with semi-colons and commas so
tough work. that a paragraph might be the length of one very long sentence!
—Graydon Carter 19th century writers aren’t the only ones to overpower my writing
Senior editor style. The hip and humorous 20th century writer, Anne Lamott, can
Vanity Fair, February 2001
infect me with the need to crack a joke every couple of lines, too.
This isn’t at all unusual. And it’s difficult to resist. I’m learning how
to incorporate these influences into my particular style of writing. But I
would feel paralyzed if I thought I had to reproduce Charlotte Bronte or
Anne Lamott because someone told me that’s what correct writing
sounded like.
Our kids are no different. When they imitate Brian Jacques or
Louisa May Alcott, I certainly don’t recommend stopping them.
Imitation of great writers is a wonderful way to grow in your writing
skill. The danger comes when a child feels pressure to use an unnatural
voice due to the expectations of the reader/teacher. Student writers err
when they try to sound grown-up or academic in an attempt to impress
you or an imaginary reader.
And sometimes, unwittingly, we encourage that strange development
that crushes the natural writer inside. We do it by telling our children
that their writing sounds too much like their spoken conversation. We
hand them the Thesaurus every other word and expect them to use
118

vocabulary they haven’t internalized. And we’re most guilty of this ten-
dency when we read their writing and then compare it to textbooks and
encyclopedias. We wonder when our children will sound academic
Most children have real voice
instead of babyish. but then lose it. It is often just
So let me start here by relieving you. Stop worrying so much about plain loud: like screeching or
the academic sound of writing. Over time, your children will learn how banging a drum. It can be
annoying or wearing for others.
to handle language in writing just as they’ve learned how to move up lev-
“Shhh” is the response we often
els on computer games. They need time using their natural writing voices get to the power of real voice.
before they can be expected to breakthrough to a sophisticated use of But, in addition, much of what
language. (And frankly, I hope that they’ll always retain a sense of humor we say with real voice is difficult
for those around us to deal
and personality in their writing no matter how academic the environ-
with: anger, grief, self-pity, even
ment). love for the wrong people.
How the paralysis gets started

When we are hushed up from
those expressions, we lose real
If the child thinks, “That chocolate sundae tasted really ‘rad,’” she voice.
may translate that into writing this way, “Chocolate sundaes appeal to —Peter Elbow
the tastebuds.” A child might think, “Can you believe how big John
Hancock signed his name on the Declaration of Independence?” But the
child writes, “The largest signature on the Declaration of Independence
was written by John Hancock.”
When a child writes by thinking about how it ought to sound rather
than staying as close to his reactions and experiences as possible, he loses
his written voice. He steps back from the page and puts someone else
there in his place.
This isn’t to say that we encourage our kids to turn in writing that
says chocolate sundaes are “rad.” The chapter on revising teaches you
how to find the treasures behind those “label words” so that we dive into
his experience more deeply to draw out clearer communication. On the
other hand, the second sentence (“Chocolate sundaes appeal to the taste-
buds”) doesn’t even invite further investigation. It’s stiff and lifeless and
actually causes the reader to disengage. I suddenly feel like I’m reading a
text book or science report. I don’t even think to ask, “What does it actu-
ally taste like?”
The John Hancock example is similar. The first sentence or thought
(“Can you believe how big John Hancock signed his name on the
Declaration of Independence?”) is spontaneous. It shows that the child
has a personal reaction to that fact that can be used to entertain and woo
the reader. Imagine an opening hook that asks the reader if she knew
whose signature was largest on the Declaration of Independence.
The second statement (“The largest signature on the Declaration of
Independence was written by John Hancock.”) is a downer—a topic sen-
tence in the passive voice. There’s nothing more to think about. No per-
sonality behind the words.
Writer’s voice, then, is the preservation of the writer’s personality
within the confines of ink, paper and information.
119

What Writer’s Voice sounds and feels like

Master writers will tell you that the cultivation of voice is key to
becoming a quality writer with something to say. It’s also the most elu-
…because a world lives in you.
You are a world.
sive attribute to explain in writing. When I am in my “voice,” the words
flow more easily. I feel like I’m beyond the expectations of the reader and
—Fredrich Beuchner,
Telling the Truth
am engaged in the ideas I want to communicate.
Writer’s voice reminds me of acting. At times when I watch an
actress, I forget that she’s acting. I’m so drawn into the character, I don’t
think about how she achieved that effect. She’s bringing all of her powers
of craft and inspiration to the character she’s portraying.
Writer’s who succeed do this too. They become the message. It’s an
extension of who they are. Certainly they learn the craft: how to organize
their thinking, how to improve word choices, what to do with sentences
that drag or distract. But they also learn how to stay true to the voice
inside—to speak on paper with as much of themselves present as when
they talk to you in person.
Our kids, then, need encouragement to stay connected to themselves
when they write. It’s okay if they start with written communication that
sounds verbal and is littered with “she was like” and “I was gonna.” These
can be weeded out and rewritten as you work through the revision phase.
But encourage your child to write as he or she thinks/speaks first. Once
you have all that rich verbal communication on paper, the writing can be
reorganized, massaged and enhanced to become not only lively but also
mechanically and grammatically correct.
Over time, as your child learns how to revise verbal communication
into the more streamlined demands of writing, his writing voice will
become a lovely blend of his personality and the peculiar needs of written
communication… and those two will fuse naturally without needing so
much revision.
A Perfect example of what I’m talking about

Now that I’ve enticed you to think about capturing your child on the
page and not just the bunches of information you want to cram into him,
let’s look at what it might be to allow a child to come forward in an oth-
erwise dreary writing assignment.
Eric’s mother asked him to write an instructional piece—how to
make a peanut butter sandwich. Ask yourself if you can find Eric inside
this bit of writing.
How to Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich in Nine Steps
By Eric
1. Go into the kitchen and get two pieces of bread. Any type will do.
2. Get the peanut butter and a knife.
3. When your younger brother comes into the room, irritate him by
messing up his hair.
120

4. Open the peanut butter jar then take the knife and dip it into the
peanut butter.
5. After your brother whines, “Quit it,” tickle him.
6. Take some peanut butter out and spread it on one side of one
Another Peanut Butter
piece of bread, while holding your brother by the shirt collar.

Sandwich—West African style
1. Buy a baguette—a long thin
7. After your mother storms into the room and yells, “Boys! Stop it!” loaf that has a crispy crust from
point and say, “He started it! I was just making a peanut butter sand- a shop on the street.
wich.” 2. Cut 8 inches off the end, and
8. With a look of innocence on your face, put the two pieces of bread
cut this in half lengthwise.
together (peanut butter facing in). 3. Complain about not having
9. After your mom leaves, give your brother a smirk, take a big bite of
JIF peanut butter.
your sandwich and really enjoy it. 4. Get peanut butter from the
market (this is just ground up
Eric achieved the goal of the assignment. You could actually follow peanuts and oil.)
his instructions and make a peanut butter sandwich. But he is also using 5. Dip knife into peanut butter
this assignment to entertain. and spread on one side of a
Not all writing requires entertainment as the chief goal, but just slice.
about all consumer writing depends on it. Even newspaper articles on the 6. Find jelly and spread on one
front page realize the need to engage the reader, not to simply inform side of the other slice.
him. 7. Put slices together with the
The point I want to make is that writers who allow themselves to peanut butter side and jelly side
together.
stay connected to their topics will create better writing. Kids who devel-
op the habit of expressing themselves in a genuine way in writing will 8. Take a bite.
have greater success in the long run. They’ll find ways to write about any 9. Grudgingly admit it tastes
topic because they’ll write from a base of confidence in how they com- o.k.
municate. —Joey (10) Cote d’Ivoire
The Differing needs of written versus verbal communication

Some of you are insecure. You read your children’s writing and can
tell that it’s not entirely clear or fluid or well-articulated but you don’t
know how to help your child to the next level.
The chief aim of this book is to help you discover what the process
of written communication is. As you get used to working through the
steps of writing, as you read books together, as you spend time honing
the freewrites into final writing products, both you and your child will
develop an increasing instinct for how writing ought to sound.
But there are some writing elements that are universal and found in
most quality books, articles and essays. Mastery of these is similar to
learning how to draw in perspective. An artist’s intuitive sense is joined
with the practical steps to create a three-dimensional illusion.
To achieve “3-D” writing—writing that is winsome, powerful and
organized—study the following elements and look for them in the writ-
ing you read.
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Top Ten Writing Elements

When I ask mothers what they wished they had to help them teach
writing, I get the same answer. How will I know that my child is writing
Top Ten Writing Elements
at grade level? What are the incremental steps to mastering writing?
1. Start in the middle They don’t always say it like that though.
“I wish writing were like math—answer keys and concepts that
2. Appeal to known experiences
3. Include figurative language build on each other.”
4. Incorporate powerful verbs “I have no idea if I should teach the sentence and then the para-
5. Master the mechanics graph or if it’s okay to just skip to the paragraph.”
“Am I really blowing it if my eight grader can only write a two
paragraph paper? When will he learn to write more?”
6. Use sentence variety
7. Repeat key terms
8. Include dialog and quotes Welcome to the club: Mom’s Teaching Writing with Blindfolds. I’ve
9. Credit sources hunted through scopes and sequences and find little help there either.
These guides focus on the components of written language: letters,
10. Integrate transitions
words, sentences, questions, stories, advertisements, limericks, paragraphs
of all sorts, reports and essays. They often include the enigmatic haiku
(for some inscrutable reason).
The swirling chaos called writing can be reduced to ten essentials,
according to my professor husband. He created the following list for his
college freshmen. The Top Ten Elements range from least challenging to
the most demanding. Read through the list and then read several writing
samples of your child’s work. See if you can find which elements they use
consistently and which ones are still missing from their writing. Then
think about what element to move toward next.
As your child masters one area, remind him or her to check for it in
each subsequent piece of writing. By the end of high school all ten
should be regularly appearing in the writing your kids do. But don’t
expect it all until then. The easiest of the principles comes first. The last
two are subtle and take awhile to grasp and use effectively. Help for
incorporating these into your teaching program will come in the next
volume, “Help for High School.”
These elements are not in a strict order, but you can think about
them in groups of three—the first three ought to come before the next
set of three, and so on.
Top Ten Writing Elements checklist

The following list is meant to help your kids check their own writing
before they bring it to you. Make sure they understand what each item
describes and how to do what it suggests (and only require them to
understand the elements they use regularly). If there’s an area that is not
within their “tool box,” don’t worry. You’ll spend time working on it as
they get older.
There are two parts to mastering any of these components: identify-
ing the element in someone else’s writing, and being able to produce it in
122

your own writing without help. Until the child feels comfortable produc-
ing a writing element, he’s still in the training mode and shouldn’t be
expected to demonstrate the skill. Spend plenty of time identifying these
elements in other writing. Make the most of dictation assignments. You
can zero in on a passage that uses powerful verbs, or another that high-
lights sentence variety.
Add one element at a time. Don’t add another until that one is mas-
tered. This next section is written to your child. Xerox it off and hand it
to him or her.
1. Start in the Middle (or “good hook”)
Narratives especially benefit from the “start in the middle” technique.
Don’t begin a story with “Harriet Tubman was born on such and such a
date...” Start with “It was night. The North Star beckoned Harriet
onward. Would she find the safe house like she’d been promised?” We
begin in the middle of the most dramatic moment of Harriet’s life and
work our way backward to fill in with the details. Save the conclusion of
this cliffhanger for the conclusion of the paper, if possible.
In expository writing, the “Good Hook” principle has to do with
drawing the reader into the meat of the controversy or argument to stim-
ulate interest. Quotes, anecdotes that pull on the emotions and word pic-
tures have great value here. Don’t forget unusual facts.
2. Appeal to Known Experiences
Avoid writing for the “insider” (“When I olley-ed over the rail, slid
like ice and tail flipped...”—only a skater would know what is meant).
Instead, pull from experiences that are generally familiar to most readers
in order to make a comparison. When the audience is clearly the insider
group, then there is no problem using their “lingo.”
The Keen Observation exercise helps kids to bring their personal
experiences to bear on the topic or subject.
3. Include Figurative Language
The strategic use of similes (“like” or “as” comparisons), metaphors
(without “like” or “as”—direct comparisons) and personification enliven
any kind of writing. “Uncle Jack fit into the household like a hermit crab
in a seashell.” (George, Water Sky , 15) Comparisons are just as necessary
in expository writing.
4. Incorporate Powerful Verbs
Find verbs that thrust the reader into the experience. (Chapter 11)
Use the simple past for most writing. The only exception to this rule is
when writing about the contents of a story or novel. In that case describe
the events of the story in the present tense. Whenever possible, the read-
er should be thrust into the action. “Nadia flipped off the beam,” rather
than “Nadia did a flip off the beam.” Be on the alert for passive voice.
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Some grammar checks on word processing programs will automatically

highlight passive voice.
5. Master the Mechanics
Writers are judged by their spelling, grammar, and punctuation, like
it or not. Spend time learning the basics—typical punctuation (end
marks, capitalization, proper use of commas and quotation marks/apos-
trophes). Most importantly, know how to recognize a complete sentence.
6. Use Sentence Variety
Vary the way sentences begin. Open with a clause, change the
tempo, and mix up short sentences with longer ones. Avoid predictability
in the rhythm of your writing.
7. Repeat Key Terms
Key terms in your writing deserve repetition but it must be accom-
plished judiciously. It’s not necessary to repeat names or ideas over and
over without a strategy. Repetition of key terms, however, will strengthen
an idea or an argument and will give cohesion to a paragraph. (This skill
is among the most abstract and difficult... spend lots of time looking for
examples in other writing). I include an example here that uses repetition
to increase the force of the dangers that Johnny Tremain is anticipating.
“Oh, God help them, thought Johnny. They haven’t seen
those British troops in Boston. I have. They haven’t seen the
gold lace on the generals, those muskets—all so alike, and every-
one has a bayonet. They haven’t seen…
“The chaise overtook and passed the marching farmers.” —
—Forbes, Johnny Tremain
The pressures that Johnny faces are more forcefully communicated to
the reader by repeating “they haven’t seen” throughout the paragraph.
8. Include Dialog and Quotes
In narrative writing, use dialog to bring a story to life. Dialog enables
the reader to get to know the people in a more intimate way. The cre-
ation of realistic dialog is a very sophisticated skill. To develop it, it helps
to write down the actual things people say and how they say them.
Listen to a two-year-old and record her exact word order. Keep snatches
of interesting comments tucked away in a journal to be harvested for
later writing.
Quotes serve a similar purpose in expository writing. They bring
arguments and proofs to life by giving authorities voice. Avoid the dan-
ger of over-quoting to compensate for insufficient knowledge of the
material. Quotes to paraphrases should be one to four.
9.Credit Sources
Make assertions; don’t pour out your opinions. An assertion is a
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point of view about a subject that you advance based on the support of
other sources: namely other authorities, studies, research and so on. Give
credit every time and don’t hesitate to throw your weight behind the
well-developed views of someone else’s expertise in a matter. Your job is
to integrate that expertise into your writing and to make them say what
you want to say. Therefore their point makes your point, get it?
10. Integrate Effective Transitions between Ideas
This is another “paragraph cohesion” element. In fact, this element
brings cohesion to the whole of the paper. Use transition words
(Additionally, First, Second, Finally, On the other hand) and use transi-
tion devices (new paragraph, sub-head, an illustration—example—that
moves the reader from one point to another).
Again, this is a sophisticated element. Though the words can be
inserted into an elementary paper, the ability to bring a flow to a paper
comes with time and practice. Don’t hurry the process, but continue to
experiment with it.
125

126

Chapter 11
Dumb Assignments
Choosing Writing Assignments that Work
“Brittany does pretty well with creative writing if she gets to pick the
subject matter. She hates it when she is told what to write about. She
always thinks that it’s a pointless assignment, and since I cringe at my
own writing skills, I’m afraid that I am not much help!
When she had to write an advertisement for Vasco da Gama she
cried. But once I calmed her down and told her it didn't have to be
perfect I thought she did a pretty good job. She is too concerned with
it being perfect!”
—Kimberly
“My biggest frustrations in teaching writing to my children is their atti-
In literature class, the students
tude about anything I’ve assigned them to write. They give the bare
were given an assignment to
minimal amount of effort and they never proofread. They write just like
write a short story involving all
they talk and don't care about jazzing up the paper. I’ll assign them to
the important ingredients —
write in their journals and they will write five or six dead sentences.”
nobility, emotion, sex, religion,
and mystery.
Interestingly enough, though, last summer when I read them Mrs.
Frisby and the Rats of NIHM, they were so inspired that they each
A student wrote: “My God!”
began writing their own sequel to the book. It kept them busy for
cried the duchess, “I’m preg-
weeks... on their own! How do I get them this excited on a regular

nant. Who did it?”
basis?” —source unknown

—Cathy
I think Kimberly and Cathy sum up the common feelings that most
kids have about assigned writing. They are unmotivated to attack assign-
ments but happily write when they find an idea that hooks their interest.
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CHAPTER 11 DUMB ASSIGNMENTS
Assigned writing: friend or foe?

What is the writing that turns us on? Screenplays and scripts, mys-
tery novels, advertisements, email, classic literature and newspapers—in
If a child is asked to generalize,
other words, the writing you encounter every day as a consumer of writ-
that is, to write an essay upon
some abstract theme, a double ing. Your kids know this intuitively. What was the last research paper
wrong is done him. He is either of you read for pleasure?
brought up before a stone wall When I realized that it was the year my seventh grade son would do
by being asked to do what is
his first extended research project, I felt myself physically slump. I
impossible to him, and that is
discouraging. But a worse moral hunched over and audibly heaved a sigh of resignation and resistance.
injury happens to him in that, Why? I love to write. Because assigned academic writing leaves almost
having no thought of his own to everyone cold.
Bad news and good news
offer on the subject, he puts
together such tags of common-
place thought as have come in
his way and offers the whole as • Bad news: Your kids still have to do it. It will show up repeatedly
his ‘composition,’ an effort for their entire academic careers. And it’s a worthy skill to acquire on
which puts a strain upon his that basis.
conscience while it piques his
vanity. • Good news: We can break free from the fears and traditions that
—Charlotte Mason have sapped the life from most of that kind of writing. And we can make
Home Education the most of what those assignments offer our kids—the opportunity to
investigate thoroughly a topic of interest.
• Better News: We don’t have to limit our children’s experiences of
writing to “schoolishness.” We’re home educators. We don’t need to
duplicate the school system, especially in the arena of writing. So be sure
to “assign” writing that is inspiring, humorous, and relevant to the real
world in addition to academic writing. The best sources for ideas are
often in your kids. Ask them what they want to produce. You might be
surprised. (And don’t forget to count it as a valid part of your writing
curricula.)
The Good, the bad, and the ridiculous

Start by identifying a good assignment from a bad one. You can take
any assignment (or writing program), run it against this checklist and
then eliminate or modify the writing assignments and curricula that you
use. As you do, you’ll reverse the trend so many of us fall prey to—if a
curriculum writer designed it, it must be good.
Checklist for dumb assignments and curricula requirements
1. Any assignment that is three lines in a workbook is silly. Those

little exercises in the ACSI spelling book, for example, are completely
unnecessary if your objective is to teach writing. If your child enjoys
them, they won’t hurt. But for the child who doesn’t like them, skip ‘em.
Save writing for a worthy assignment.
A worthy assignment is one that engages your student at the level of
his perceptions, opinions, study, research or imagination. Most short-
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writing assignments require little imagination, no internalized data and

not a single bit of his interest. The child learns from these assignments
how to produce dull writing to fill up the lines and then transfers those
blunted feelings to worthy assignments later. Little by little your student
becomes inoculated against writing.
2. Assignments that require the child to adjust his/her tone and
vocabulary are too challenging. Kids shouldn’t write for an imaginary
younger audience. Most adults aren’t even good at it.
My mother taught children’s writing to adults for fifteen years. She
discovered that adults think it’s easier to write for children than it is for
their peers. As a result, lots of aspiring New York Times bestselling writ-
ers think children’s books are the training wheels for real writing.
What they don’t understand is that writing for children is a genre
unto itself and has specific guidelines. It takes a tremendous amount of
restraint and skill to avoid the two most common and opposing pitfalls:
condescension and talking over the heads of kids.
Don’t require this level of sophistication of your young students
without teaching it as a genre. Personally, I believe that kids under six-
teen are not ready. They need to concentrate on getting in touch with
their own voices at this age… not adjusting them.
The only exception to the audience-geared assignment is the one
that directs the student to write for an older audience. When the assign-
ment says to write as though you are a newspaper reporter, or to write a
letter to Grandma, or to pretend that your essay will appear in a science
journal, these assignments require no adjustment in vocabulary. Instead,
they simply urge the student to determine if the audience is formal or
informal, and whether or not the writing should be academic (science
journal) with research versus his subjective experience (letter to
Grandma).
Determining the audience in advance is a technique that many edu-
cators use to help kids narrow the focus or scope of their writing. To aim
at a certain audience does help the student in many instances, but if it
seems to get in the way of their flow and ease, let it go for now.
3. Watch out for assignments that are vague and topical. Great
examples of these nonsense assignments are: “Write about Christmas.”
Or “What did you do last summer?” These topics are so enormous and
uninspiring that the would-be writer blanks out facing that Mt. Everest
of information and memories.
Instead, tailor these topics to a very specific experience. “Write about
your most memorable Christmas tradition and why you will continue it
in your own family someday.” (Chapter 6 —The Topic Funnel).
Freewriting (Chapter 4) will also help your child narrow the subject.
Allow your son or daughter to write whatever comes to mind about
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Christmas or some other topic for ten minutes. Once he or she has
something concrete to look at, the freewrite may actually lead your stu-
dent to a narrower topic. Don’t be afraid of too narrow a topic. In many
There was some great info in
this curricula, don’t get me cases, the smaller the detail initially, the better.
wrong, but it still failed at the For example, your child might become absorbed in the memory of
same point all the other writing opening one stocking gift. Explored for all of its various impressions,
curricula had failed. The kids memories, comments and pleasures, it may yield more than enough raw
looked at their papers and
couldn’t write. It started with material for a sweet little piece about Christmas.
the “topic sentence and build to Think again about the power of the telephoto lens (Chapter 5). A
paragraph” model. It didn't try picture that includes the whole family, their “footwear to hat” outfits and
to assign topics, those had to be the entire mountain range in the background never gets the same
my idea (oh bliss).
amount of scrutiny or exclamation as the close-up photo of the new gig-
I tried pets, toys etc, but never
gling baby in her mother’s arms.
got beyond, “I like my dog.” or
“I have a dog named Beau.” 4. Beware of curricula that require too much generative writing per
The paragraphs were even bet-
ter. I truly couldn’t adapt the
week. I remember one mother sharing her week’s worth of writing
lessons—I sold it. (I have to say, assignments for her fourth grade son. He had written a letter to his
that after reading the examples grandmother, a book report, a descriptive paragraph, a journal entry and
given in the book, I figured a a haiku. She wondered if this seemed on target for his age. It wasn’t on
graduate of that program would
write romance novels or
target for my age! I was tired listening to her.
Hallmark greeting cards.) And I had my doubts about how well he did on any one of those
—Carrie
assignments. The goal should not be to produce versions of every type of
writing within a week or month. We have the length of our children’s
school careers to develop them as writers. It’s perfectly all right to spend
time writing and rewriting the same paper for several weeks, if need be.
Converting a dumb assignment
into a worthy one: The hardest part of writing is facing the blank page. To repeatedly
require that kind of writing from a child who is still learning the
The assignment to write about
toothpicks had a good mechanics of holding a pencil and making cursive letters that all slant the
premise—to help kids develop same way is too much. It feels like climbing to the top of a mountain to
their powers of observation. I look at the view only to be told that you don’t have time to look because
would redo this orally and
there is another peak that you need to scale right away.
explain that I’m looking for
descriptive words not just Stop. Enjoy what your daughter has written. Encourage her to play
brown, thin, pointed at both with the words, to fix it up, to add some colorful detail, to rearrange the
ends. sentences for greater impact. Then type it on the computer, put it in a
The curriculum writers were Kinko’s report folder and show it to her friends.
looking for similes, but that was Or Xerox it and send the original to Grandpa. Or suggest she illus-
beyond my son’s abilities at that
time. I would rather have given
trate her story and create a beautiful cover. The point is to savor writing
him a painting to look at to projects, not to crank them out like bills to be paid. Appreciate your stu-
describe orally. That would have dents’ writing before hustling them off to another assignment.
fulfilled the intent of the assign- Until high school, limit your students’ fresh, raw writing to no more
ment.
than one freewrite per week. One fully revised writing project per month
—Carol is completely reasonable for most kids throughout their school careers.
For term papers and reports, no more than one per semester (Chapter
15). If you have a fourth or fifth grader, one major report for the year is
plenty. Junior high kids can handle two reports if these reports are rele-
vant to them.
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Major writing assignments deserve to be done slowly. While these

are being written, by all means create other writing assignments that are
shorter and represent other forms. Just be careful not to overload your
The wastepaper basket is the
kids. writer's best friend.
5. Throw away some writing. Don’t expect every assignment to result —Isaac B. Singer
in a polished and finished product. If your child uses writing to narrate
the book he’s read and he successfully communicates what the book is
about, he doesn’t have to rewrite it. Throw it away. (Or store it, if you’re
compulsive like me).
In this instance the content is more important than the writing. By
telling your child that you are interested in what’s upstairs in that mind
of his rather than how well he’s mastered the mechanics of writing, you’ll
help your child relax and see writing as no big deal. Writing is a tool to Today we did the 10 minute
support the student, not to bludgeon him. In other words, use writing; free-writing assignment you
don’t let it use you. suggested. I had my daughter-
For awhile, a discouraged child may benefit from being allowed to write on everything she could
remember about our study on
write with no attention to rewriting, mechanics or spelling at all. Let him Japan. I don’t know if that
or her write simply for the experience of communicating with power and topic was too broad or not, but
competence. As you begin to see his thoughts emerge with clarity and she did manage to write quite a
perception, you can show him how his spelling actually supports his bit. At first, however, she really
didn't want to do it.
desire to communicate. He will see that his punctuation actually
enhances his points. Mechanics take on meaning. She said she couldn’t remember
anything. Then we started talk-
Sometimes at the end of a history unit, I’ll assign a freewrite to ing about the books we read,
assess how much my kids have retained. Before writing, we discuss their customs, physical appear-
briefly the categories of information related to the topic, say Japan. I ance, etc... and she was okay
might mention that we studied the family habits, customs, holidays, reli- about it. She really liked it that
I told her that after she read it
gious practices, foods, architecture, and historical events in the 1800s, for to me she could throw it away.
example. Then I set the timer for twenty minutes (for my junior high
—Cathie
aged kids) and ask them to write everything they can think of. They can
follow their thoughts in any order, they can include diagrams, names of
novels we read, fictional and historical characters, dates and facts—any-
thing that they’ve retained related to the study of Japan.
When the timer rings, they stop writing and we read the results
together. No attempt is made to correct the contents or to comment on
the mechanics.
Then we throw the writing away. My primary purpose for this kind
of freewriting is to give me, teacher/mom, a sense of closure for the unit
and the ability to assess how much of the material we covered actually
stuck. My kids enjoy this process too since they get to see how much
they’ve learned all in one go.
Another plus to this rudimentary timed writing assessment is that it
acts as preparation for timed essay exams in high school and college.
Eventually, our kids will have to write their thoughts under the pressure
of the bell without a chance for revision. By training them early to write
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and think at the same time (initially without criticizing what’s there), we
give them preparatory experiences of timed exam writing.
The research report on King 6. Beware of assignments that teach components of writing sepa-
David is the only one I attempt- rate from the whole. There is a place for studying the elements of a
ed—I knew it was too much. It
required my children to adjust paragraph, but to write one by carefully selecting a topic sentence and
their vocabulary, and while it then following it with contrived supporting sentences is one of the most
was broken up into daily irritating aspects of educator-generated writing projects and workbooks,
chunks, the subject was not in my opinion.
interesting to my kids. Also, we
only had the bible to get info on A mom asked me the other day how old her daughter should be
David, no library books. I wasn’t when she taught her how to write a paragraph. I laughed. What child
sure (lack of confidence) how to doesn’t write in paragraphs? They all do. They just don’t know when to
change this for my kids. I was indent.
so stressed-out thinking, “I'm a
failure! I haven’t taught my 3rd The worst thing we can do to our children is to make them believe
grader how to do research that suddenly they must change how they communicate to fit a form
reports! Woe is me!” called “the paragraph.” Rather we want to take the already lucid and
How I would adapt that now is developing thoughts and get them down on paper where we can sort
to start by asking my kids what them, rearrange them and then indent them. That’s paragraph writing.
they wanted to write about. It Forgive me as I rant, but let me give you one of my favorite illustra-
could have been any aspect of
the unit. We’d talk, then I’d let tions of this problem and why you must avoid it like—dare I be trite?—
them do free writing (if the idea the plague.
was to see how much they I used to meet with four women for breakfast to talk about home-
learned). We might even stop schooling. One week I asked them to each write descriptive paragraphs
right there. If we needed some-
thing to present to an audience so that they could experience the struggle kids go through to be creative
(which we did), I would let my and attentive to detail. One of my friends wrote a paragraph about
kids dictate to me and I would Farmer’s Market. She told me that she followed the standard paragraph
type it for them or let them form—you know the one: paragraphs are like cardboard boxes with a top,
record their thoughts on a tape
and go from there. Most impor- supporting sides and a bottom. This is how her paragraph started.
tantly, I think I’m gonna have “Farmer’s Market offers a plethora of sensory data.”
that list of questions handy so I
can determine if it is a dumb Say what? Does anyone want to keep reading?
assignment!
Her following sentence was terrific. It went something like this:
“As I walked by the fish mart, a pungent smell wafted toward me.”
—Penny
Yes, this sentence is a supporting sentence. Yes, the first is a topic

sentence. But what are the chances that I’ll even read the second sen-
tence after such a dour beginning? I prefer to start with the second one.
It’s far more interesting, grabs my attention and makes me ask, “Where
am I?” So I naturally want to keep reading.
When I asked my friend about that paragraph, she told me that she
added that awful topic sentence after she’d written the whole paragraph.
Why? Because somewhere haunting her memory like a teacher-shaped
ghost was the thought that it didn’t qualify as a paragraph unless she
started it with a topic sentence. Oh puh-lease! The rules we must
unlearn!
132

Here is the problem with those nifty paragraph grids that teach your
kids about how to structure their writing like cardboard boxes: they for-
get the reader. And the writing produced is about as tasty as cardboard
Converting a dumb writing
too, I might add. I’m all for organizing thought (you shall see how much assignment:
I’m for it as your kids get older and you have to teach essays and research
papers). However, I’m not for snuffing the life out of their writing in the The paper topic we decided on
was “Elephants and Their
process. Readers need to be lured forward and most traditional topic sen-
Usefulness to Man.” I followed
tences written by the book don’t cut it. the instructions, narrowed the
Start with life in writing. Go back later to show your kids how to topic, got books from the
organize it. At the paragraph level, much of the organization is intuitive library, and tried to get my son
(3rd grade) to tell me anything
anyway. There is a learned sense of what makes a paragraph. (And that
that he had learned.
sense takes about ten years to develop).
I then tried to help him orga-
I can assure you that a lot of paragraphing is based on the visual nize this into an outline for a
needs of the reader. As an editor, I break up long paragraphs simply to report. We didn’t get very far
make them shorter in the columns. Even now, I break up what I write as because I knew it was too hard
I feel my idea shift or as the length of the paragraph becomes irksome. for him. I did try to change the
topic to sharks since he had an
Instead of working so hard to write a correct paragraph—write. interest there, but we didn't get
Then take the words on the page and rearrange them into paragraphs— very far since the engine was
groups of sentences that hang together based on a common idea. running without gas by this
Lighten up. Your kids have a long time to get the organization thing. point.
They don’t have as much time to work on their love for writing. Love is I should have simply waited
fragile and can be killed in one or two bad assignments. The only escape until Noah was in 6th or 7th
grade to do the assignment, or I
is to make as many opportunities as possible for your kids to discover would have had him tell me
how good it feels to “wow” a reader. And those write-by-method para- what he learned from his
graph lessons just don’t do it, in my opinion! research orally. We could put
together an outline to put the
7. Don’t try to teach it all every time. Sometimes focus on the logic information in logical order (my
of the piece. At another time, look for the use of figurative language and work) and then written a one
page summary.
dialog. When you look for these, let the other stuff go. I know you won’t
want to, but you must. The temptation to homeschoolers is to never —Carol
allow for a mediocre result. We want every math problem solved correct-
ly or we send them back to do it again. I admire this about homeschool-
ing. It’s why so many of our kids are doing well.
In writing, though, some of this attentiveness kills the inclination to
write again. Knowing that they have achieved progress from the last
writing session needs to be enough. None of them will write to our com-
plete satisfaction while they are in our homes. None of my husband’s stu-
dents write to his total satisfaction and they are in college!
Back off. Focus on one to two things at a time and then move on.
Mom’s Assignment
Pull out one of those writing manuals. Or pull them all out. Find an
example of a dumb writing assignment in each one. See if you can con-
vert them into worthy assignments based on the principles in this chap-
ter.
133

Recap
• Schedule one writing project per month that goes through all the
steps in the writing process.
• Choose assignments that are worthy of the child’s dedication and
interest. These ought to engage the child on the level of his percep-
tions, opinions, study, research or imagination.
• Make sure that the assignment is narrow in scope.
• Feel free to modify the assignments in any curricula to suit your
child and your goals for him or her.
• Abandon writing projects that grind to a halt or create bad associa-
tions with the writing process.
• Don’t bring every writing assignment through the entire process.
Sometimes it’s nice to just write a draft and not have to do anything
more to it. This principle is especially helpful when using writing as
an assessment tool.
134

Chapter 12
Field Guide to Word Identification

Word Games to Increase Vocabulary
PEN: Acrostic for Word Choices in Writing
ime to talk turkey about word selection. Neat, nice, good, and cool
T don’t cut it. Our kids use lack-luster terms because they’re self-cen-
tered. They honestly believe that what’s inside their heads telepathically
transfers to yours just because they strung some words together. They
prefer verbal shorthand to detail when talking with their street buddies.
(Honestly, so do we.) We don’t help them much either. We let them say,
“Star Wars Episode One was so cool. I mean, like, I really thought it was
neat.” Gee, now I know a lot more about that movie.
As usual with writing, the real work starts off the page. Listen to Writing should be architecture,
your kids talk at home. Encourage them to say what they mean when not interior decorating.
they’re the most excited about their thinking, opinions and observations. —Ernest Hemingway
When one of them says that the green beans taste “yucky,” develop their
vocabulary (since the possibility of vitamin gain is lost).
“Tell me precisely what is wrong with the beans,” you might say.
Keep after him until you hear something concrete. Otherwise, stuff him
with the beans!
Sometimes in the jungle, we are tempted to say, “Look at that inter-
esting bird.” We have no idea what kind it is or even how to classify it.
In writing, the objects of curiosity are words. Can you tell the difference
between words that fly and those that fall flat? The aim of this chapter is
to excite your child’s interest in language—to help you set up a “word
feeder” so that new and exotic words will come to feed in his or her jun-
gle.
We can brush-up on word selection skills best by playing word
135

CHAPTER 12 WORD IDENTIFICATION
games. Following the games, I give you a guide for how to select what
kinds of words to use in writing and when.
The difference between the Our favorite word games
right word and the almost right My then fiancé, Jon, and I were standing in scorching heat waiting
word is the difference between
lightening and the lightening
for a taxi on the backside of the Atlas Mountains in Morocco. We had
bug. been together for days and were feeling tired and hot and very ready for
—Mark Twain
a trip out of the palm tree studded oasis. Still, the taxi didn’t come.
Irritably, I mentioned that I felt really hot. In fact, I said, I was swel-
tering.
Jon retorted that that was nothing. He was roasting.
Not to be outdone, I rebutted, “I’m basting.”
“Well, I’m broiling,” said he.
For the next half an hour we traded synonyms for various ways we
could be cooked in the heat. It became a serious challenge and enor-
mously fun. And it started us on a life-long quest to outdo each other
with puns and synonyms at any opportunity. (I did get the best of him,
in the end. Don’t you believe a word he says to the contrary!)
Perhaps I’ve just convinced you not to invite us to dinner. Still, the
spill over into our children’s lives has been significant.
From time to time we’ll deliberately trade words at the dinner table
related to a certain theme (like the heat or fishing or tools). As we begin
to use words in context to outdo each other, our kids have begun to join
in. They’re learning that language is playful, can be manipulated and is
funny. Words have power and hold the attention of the audience if they
are well controlled.
The Pun Game

“You seem like you are fishing for a compliment,” my sweet husband
All words are pegs to hang ideas scolds.
“Are you trying to bait me?” I reply coyly.
on.
—Henry Ward Beecher
“No. I know you’re not that easily reeled in.”
“Well, I’ll tackle this problem another time.”
On and on we go with the fishing theme all the while increasing the
challenge of making words fit into unconventional contexts.
Kids may not be able to participate when they’re young, but they
really enjoy listening. In fact, one test of maturity around our house is
whether you get the jokes. As soon as they do, they feel as though
they’ve been admitted to the best of adult clubs.
And when they reel off their first good pun on the fly without help,
they’re swimmingly happy and buy in hook, line and sinker. (Sorry, I can’t
stop.)
136

The Porcupine Game

We also play the porcupine game (stolen from Zoom on PBS). This
game highlights the different meanings the same word can have. It
Put it before them briefly so
works especially well with homonyms. It goes like this: they will read it, clearly so they
We feed our porcupine rabbit food. will appreciate it, picturesquely
I like to style my porcupine with mousse and gel.

so they will remember it and,
above all, accurately so they will
be guided by its light.
The listeners have to guess which word fits in both contexts. In this
case, the words are “hare” and “hair.” These sound the same but have dif- —Joseph Pulitzer
ferent meanings and are spelled differently—homonyms.
Here’s another one:
The porcupine went out after the storm.
Two-ton Tessa is not porcupine on her feet.
In this instance, the word is “light.” Though it is spelled the same in

both cases, it’s clear that the meanings are different. A third sentence
could have highlighted the word “light” as a verb in: “Will you porcupine
the fire?” All of these would be correct since they illustrate different
meanings and uses of the same word.
Try it at home or in the car or at the dentist’s office or on a hike.
We’re homeschoolers, remember? We can do this stuff anywhere. The
more you make words a game, the more your kids will enjoy them. You
can bet some of these words will pop up in their writing.
My aim is to put down on
PEN—The Word Field Guide
paper what I see and what I feel
in the best and simplest way.
I want you to learn this acrostic—PEN.
P—precision
—Ernest Hemingway
E—economy
N—novelty
When you want to improve word choices, look for words that fulfill
these principles. Start by teaching your older kids these terms. If they’re
younger than sixth grade, learn the words yourself and simply teach your
children the principles.
Precision: There is a difference between “white” and “ivory,” “old”
and”‘rustic,” and “a long time ago” and “colonial days.” Most kids rely on
the easiest way to say something and don’t care to search for a better
word. After a freewrite, go over the word choices and look for new
words.
When your son writes “pine tree,” ask him if he can name the kind.
Is it a spruce or noble fir?
Supply your kids with the right tools: Field guides for bird, flower
and tree identification, a thesaurus for innocuous words like “terrific,”
137

and a globe to look up which countries border China. When writers

include precise words, the writing stands up; it comes to attention and
the reader is suddenly engaged.
But the secret of good writing is
to strip every sentence to its Precision is the art of noticing detail. Writers have the luxury and
cleanest components. Every privilege of being keen to the world around them. Teach your children to
word that serves no function, stay alert to life. God is in the detail. And the detail needs to be in the
every long word that could be a
writing.
short word, every adverb which
carries the same meaning that is Here is a quick list of words that ought never to appear in someone’s
already in the verb, every pas- writing. (Of course there are exceptions when one of these will be per-
sive construction that leaves the fectly acceptable, but train yourself and your kids to always question one
reader unsure of who is doing
of these words before choosing to leave it in).
what.
—William Zinsser Words worth converting
Good
On Writing Well
Nice
Cool
Terrific
Neat
Wonderful
Bad
Kind of
Sort of
Lousy
Really
Actually
Challenge your young writers to shake the cobwebs out of their

heads and dig around for some better words. Make it a game, award
them money, promise to stand on your head, but be sure to teach them to
convert their poor word choices with religious zeal. The writing that
results will be a cut above the “cool” crowd.
Economy: Say it in as few words as possible. Though we’re condi-
tioned in school to believe that length indicates erudition and learning,
the best writers know otherwise. One well-chosen word is better than a
paragraph of flowery explanations. Declutter and simplify are the mot-
toes of William Zinsser in his classic book On Writing Well.
“The yellowish, goldish fish was swimming all over the place in the
fishbowl really, really fast.”
The economy version:
“The goldfish swam rapidly across his bowl.”
138

Readers are fickle. They start in the middle, they skip to the end,
they allow their eyes to scan the paragraph looking for what will hook
them. To keep them with you, each sentence must sustain or increase the
Another common error of the
pace of the whole. When the writer uses unnecessary words, strings the student writer is to fish around
reader along in search of the best way to say it (instead of just saying it), for words that sound “academ-
the reader wears out. ic.” Here are some common
offenders:
Trust your instincts, Mom. When your mind wanders as you read,
you know the writing needs tightening. Don’t be afraid to make a note • utilize (use)
• numerous (many)
on the page that says, “Started to fall asleep here. Found myself thinking
• aforementioned (before)
about dinner here.” These comments are real. • implement (do)
Feedback that is meaningful to kids is the kind that is also precise, • sufficient (enough)
short and fresh. Say what you mean. “I’m not following that last thought. • individual (man or woman)
• attempt (try)
Can you rewrite it?” Or “Seems like you could tighten this up.” This is
• providing (if ).
meaningful feedback, especially to a latter day junior high school student
—William Zinsser
or teen.
Use the word in parenthesis
Novelty: To be novel is to say something that someone else hasn’t over the longer, more formal
said. That sounds more difficult than it is. It means picking words with a word.
fresh perspective. Your kids are already good at this. I find that children
say some of the most surprising things when making comparisons. They
often branch out into unknown territory since they are not as encum-
bered with the horde of cliches that bog down adults.
Joe (5) described bubblegum that popped in his face this way:
“Having gum stuck on my face is like a dog’s breath after it ate.”
Here’s one by Renee’s son:

“I like to read up in the trees away from the noises, distractions and
little brothers.”
The first one is characteristic of the descriptions that kids create.

Unexpected and not quite right… or is it? We stop and rethink the expe-
rience. That’s the point! A writer should cause you to pause from time to
time to ponder, “Is that true? Does that describe it as I know it?”
The second example is also good. This boy tells the truth. He’s not
writing for his mother, his teacher or for some other feigned audience.
He’s writing for himself. And because he does, we smile and can agree,
“Yes, that’s true. I believe him. It would be nice to get away from little
brothers sometimes.”
Novelty causes the reader to pause, consider, savor, grin, cringe or
groan. Not every word or idea need be novel. But the reader deserves
routine portions ladled out as he reads. It’s disrespectful for a writer to
merely feed his readers what they already know and are weary of hearing.
Most academic writing falls into that category unfortunately. That’s why
we loathe it.
My husband teaches university level composition. I asked him what
139

sets papers apart when he reads them. What is it that disposes him well
toward the writing when so often the contents are dreadfully predictable?
Two things did it. Humor ranked number two. If Jon smiled or chuckled
while reading the paper, the student’s mark went up. Command of the
language ranked number one.
PEN is the rubric for command of language. And humor, I dare say,
is one of the most sophisticated expressions of that skill. So to get a leg
up on the next academic hack, teach your kids to use precise, economic
and novel words. They won’t be sorry.
Teaching PEN
I don’t know if kids under fourth grade can adequately understand
the nuances of words like precision, economy and novelty. Remember,
this book is meant to help you help them. Instead of burdening them
with these words, try to communicate the concepts in words they can
understand. I talk about naming the item (identifying the bird or country
or person), saying it in as few words as possible, and trying to be original
or creative or fresh.
As your children get older, however, it will serve them well to have
an acronym that they can own and conjure up at a moment’s notice. To
use this acronym, your kids need to understand it. Start by noticing vio-
lators—words that aren’t precise, economic or novel. As you read, if you
come across a phrase that is bloated or vague or says something in a
roundabout fashion, stop and pick on it. Conversely, when someone gets
it right, give it the thumbs up.
Billboards, church bulletins (notorious offenders), neighborhood fly-
ers, and Christmas letters provide lots of opportunities to refine your
skills as an editor. It’s much more fun to pick apart someone else’s writ-
ing. And your kids will enjoy it too.
Freewriting for words

I’ve introduced you to freewriting as a system for unearthing the
jumble of thoughts your kids have yet to organize into writing.
Freewriting is also a great tool for brainstorming lists of words and ideas.
When I assigned poetry writing to my two oldest kids (3rd and 5th
at the time) a couple years back, I expected them to sit down and write a
poem. We were working on four line verses with the abab rhyme scheme
pattern. Their topics—skateboarding and ballet. After twenty minutes of
a laborious, agonizing progress, I had a brain flurry. I suggested they race
each other for ten minutes in writing down as many words as they could
think of for their chosen sports. If they thought of a word unrelated to
ballet or skateboarding, they could list it anyway just as long as they kept
their pencils moving.
Twenty-nine words later, they finished. They each had written the
same exact number of words so my fabulous prize behind door number
140

two went unclaimed. The real prize, however, was the finished poem that
became much easier to write with those long lists of words in front of
them. Poetry is...
Johannah’s list: The best words in the best
“Pink, black, graceful, strict, buns, teachers, stretches, friends, ballet

order.
shoes, soft sounds, prancing, quit, bars, leaping, dancing, hairbows, —Samuel Taylor Coleridge
leotards, obeying, first, second, third, fourth and fifth positions,
twirling, tourjete, splits, skirts, hair, push ups.”
The spontaneous overflow of
Johannah’s poem: powerful feelings.
Light pink slippers squeak like mice —William Wordsworth

Scampering across the floor
Ballet teacher gives advice
“Girls check your posture.”
The rythmical creation of beau-
ty.
Certainly the twenty-nine words listed above wouldn’t all fit in the —Edgar Allen Poe
poem. However, Johannah had a lot to choose from when she wrote. She
also discovered some themes in her thoughts about ballet. She men-
A raid on the inarticulate.
tioned that her teacher was strict and that she found it important to
obey. These feelings formed the foundation for the final line. The process —T. S. Eliot
of writing so many words thrust Johannah directly into the arena of bal-
let, which gave her mind freedom to create.
Noah’s list:
“Fast, sleek, soundless, light, awesome, 7 plywood board, high
olley, kickflip, toe flip, 360 flip, 180 flip, board slide, dark side slide,
tail slide, casper slide, nose slide, nose manual, manual, manual to
olley and so on.”
Noah kept on with terms of which I had no comprehension. Still, his

poem results were impressive.
Noah’s poem:
Sliding down the rail like ice
Hearing the crowd’s roar
Landing squarely on the bolts
The fans shout for more
Board flipping wildly

Flying through the air
Feet reaching desperately
Over rail and stair
These poems needed several drafts after freewriting those lists before
completion.
141

What to do next
When your student has completed several freewrites—the original
draft plus several narrowed and expanded sections, converting worthless
Word Pairs exercise
words is the next step. Use a synonym finder, follow the acronym PEN
Ballerina: and examine weak word choices in light of those values. You might also
• Her fingers danced over the
try the following exercise sometime for fun.
keys of the piano.
Exercise
• Her pen tip-toed across the
paper.
• The wind choreographed the Word Pairs:
papyrus’s dance.
This exercise is meant to help writers use verbs and nouns in fresh
• The clouds flitted in the sky as
if performing on a stage. combinations. It comes from a great little book about writing called,
• Water bent over the waterfall Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg. I’ve created my own exam-
in a never-ending curtsy. ples but have used her principles.
Painter: Verbs are very important in writing. They give sentences life. In fact,
• The wind brushed her hair. powerful verbs are the most important tool in the writer's handbag since
• Raindrops spattered like paint
they create the thread of the narrative.
on the ground.
Instructions:
• Lighting streaked across the
sky pulling thunder along after
it. • Take out a sheet of paper. Fold it in half lengthwise. On the left
• The rising sun was the artist side of the page, list ten nouns. Any ten.
Painting
painting the sky.
Airplane
Farmer:
Cantaloupe
• She harvested words from
Frogs
books.
Sweater
• Her flaming skirt cut a hole in
Curtains
the dim light.
Computer
•He milked the books for more
Lillies
knowledge.
Theater
Diamond
Gardener:
• The wind raked the ground.
• Now turn the paper over to the right column. Think of an occu-
• Trees sprinkled their leaves on
pation; for example, a carpenter, doctor, flight attendant. List

the ground.
fifteen verbs on the right half of the page that go with that job.
• The rain planted drops of
water.
A Dancer:
Jumps
—Anne (14)
Sashays
Pirouettes
Rehearses
Slides
Bends
Arches
Twirls
Bows
Extends
Points
Glides
Reaches
Stretches
Flexes
142

• Now open the page. You have nouns listed down on the left
side of your paper and verbs listed on the right. Join the verbs
with the nouns in new imaginative combinations (any noun
with any of the verbs). Finish the sentences and cast the verbs
in the past tense if you need to.
Word Pairs exercise
• The painting jumped into view.

Artist:
• The river carved the stones on
• The airplanes pirouetted overhead.

its bed.
• The mist weaved around the
• Cantaloupe slices bowed to the pineapple in the middle of the
towers.
platter.
• Spring painted fresh colors in
• Baby frogs sashayed onto shore.

the meadow.
• The moonlight blotched the
• Her sweater rehearsed its dark colors in the closet.

sandy shores.
• The stars speckled the night
• Curtains bend and arch in the breeze.
sky.
• The snow erased the color
Natalie Goldberg’s examples come from combining nouns with from the landscape.
• The rain sculpted the moun-
cooking terms.
tainside.
• Dinosaurs marinate in the earth. • The tiger blended the trees
• The fiddles boiled the air with their music.

into itself.
• The lilacs sliced the sky into purple.

—Paul (12)
Take some time with this. It might make your logical mind crazy
thinking of word pairs that sound so unharmonious at first. But let your
Wood/Stone Worker:
artistic self play. Put words together and see what emerges.
• The clock’s nervous ticking
I’ve discovered in my classes that some students struggle with this chipped at the silence.
exercise. They’re so used to thinking of the literal meanings of the verbs • The river patiently sculpted
that they can’t branch out into new uses. the banks.
• The song’s eerie melody whit-
They write things like “Diamonds have points,” thinking that
tled away at the prince's hard
because they used a word from each list, they’ve fulfilled the expectations countenance.
of the exercise. Not so. • Mountain peaks chiseled the
Keep these principles in mind:

pale sky.
• The bird crafted the wind
1. Be sure that the noun and verb are right next to each other in the with its wings.
sentence. • Dark treetops were etched
2. Ask the noun to do something it doesn’t usually do. In other words,

into a weary bank of clouds.
the verb ought to be in a non-traditional role. We know, for instance,

—Hannah (15)
that paintings don’t jump. Lilacs are incapable of slicing. These verbs
are working in new contexts which draws the reader into the experi-
ences.
3. If your child shows strain and just doesn’t get it, put off this exer-
cise for another year before trying again. Age is less the issue. This
exercise works more easily for kids who love language or show a nat-
ural bent toward creativity.
143

Recap
Words are the paint of the writing picture. Without them, we have a
blank canvas. By spending some time enjoying words (instead of simply
copying them over, writing them in workbook blanks or straining to
think of them), we help our kids to become more comfortable producing
them in their writing. Take a week or two to enjoy some of these games
and the Word Pairs exercise. Don’t do any writing during those weeks.
Relax and step back from the march of writing assignments. The
investment in discovering the power of word choices will go a long way
in making your kids competent writers.
144

Chapter 13
Out of the Jungle,

Into the Real World
Writing Across the Curriculum
Journal Writing
The other day, a friend of my husband’s asked me to edit an article

he wrote. Bill has fresh ideas about reaching out to people outside the
church. When we talk, he captivates me with his anecdotes. Bill is a ded-
icated and energetic entrepreneur.
Then I read his article. Whoops. It was not an article. It was not an
essay. In fact, it didn’t even communicate the fundamentals of his philos-
As a child and into my adult
ophy or ideas. He explained to me later that he had never learned to life I didn’t feel that I had any-
write. Embarrassed and frustrated, he appealed to my husband and me thing to say that was of value.
for help. Therefore I wouldn’t write and
I thought about this for days. Because Bill, a fifty-year-old man, can’t I wouldn’t do any public speak-
ing because I would have to
write well—can’t write with adult-level proficiency—his ideas, his vision, share my thoughts that no one
his passions can’t be shared unless he does so in person or hires a ghost- really cared about hearing and I
writer. would just be embarrassed. I
When he speaks, people learn from him. But he can’t be in more have realized that this is a lie. I
don’t want my children to grow
than one place at a time. Writing enables a person to be in many places up with that lie. I want my chil-
at once. And so, Bill needed our help. dren to be convinced that they
How many people lose the opportunity to impact others because are intelligent and that what
they are handicapped in writing? They don’t want to be writers. They they have to say is important.
want to communicate their ideas. Unfortunately, writing is a highly effi- —Terry
cient way to do it. (And that’s exactly why ghostwriters earn lots of
money—they write on behalf of people with good ideas and poor writing
skills.)
As I see it, writing, then, is not a subject. It’s the means by which
145

CHAPTER 13 OUT OF THE JUNGLE
subjects get transmitted to others.
Across the curriculum

Tonight at dinner, my daughter When our kids come to the kitchen table, they expect to write about
told me that her fifth grade history, a book they read, or a creative writing topic. They might even
friend burned all of her papers
from school this past year. write about a science experiment, but that would be the exception. What
Alarmed, Johannah asked her, about math? Not a chance.
“But don't you want to keep Yet the most wonderful part of learning to write is that it’s a very
them to remember what you effective tool for learning and discovering what you actually know.
did?” The girl replied, “No way!
I hated all that work.” Because of this power, writing shouldn’t be limited to a certain time
frame in the homeschooling day. It deserves to get first place and to
—jb
become the constant companion of the devoted student of life.
After your kids graduate, they will still need to write. The annual
Christmas letter won’t be their only venture either.
Memos, business reports, marketing plans, ad copy, brochures, holi-
day programs, play bills, letters, email, homeschooling lesson plans,
instructions to the babysitter, depositions, instructions, and diaries all
require writing skills. Best for your kids to make friends with this beast
before they’re out there alone.
My advice to you is to look for more ways to use writing. There are
several purposes for writing in real life. Let me jot them down here with
some explanation.
1. Writing to learn: It amazes me that I’ll think I have thought
something through to completion only to write about it in my journal
and find that I have all kinds of thoughts and insights that I hadn’t dis-
covered before. When I write about one of my kids, a problem I’m hav-
ing, the Bible passage I read that day, or any other issue, I find out what I
really think.
Kids get the same benefits. My son was struggling with a personal
problem that he felt powerless to change. We prayed together and talked
about it a lot. Finally, I recommended he keep a journal. At first, he
wrote fairly perfunctory entries. After several days, though, he shared
some of the contents with me. His relief at processing his struggles in an
external way helped him discharge them.
Ruth Beechik suggests using writing to reinforce math lessons. I dis-
covered that my daughter could get the right answers on her math page
but couldn’t articulate on paper the reasons for the operations. As a
result, if she met with similar problems a week later, she didn’t know how
to do them. Writing out the rules for the operations in her own words
has become the best way for us to discover what she actually knows.
We used spiral bound notecards for her math axioms. This way she
could keep them together and review them easily.
2. Writing for pleasure: There’s enjoyment to be had from writing.
Not everyone will engage in it for this purpose, but it’s one of the better
146

reasons to learn the craft. Clever emails to friends, humorous family let-
ters, recording the anecdotes of your baby’s first year, describing the onset
of spring, writing your favorite memories in a scrapbook—these are all
We tried our hand at free writ-
opportunities to enjoy writing (instead of dreading it). ing today while we were waiting
Kids can write lyrics for songs, diary entries, secret treasure maps, for our food to come at a
short skits, radio dramas, descriptions in their photo albums, poems, and restaurant. We had talked a lot
letters. I used to write short stories and descriptions in a notebook that about your assignment before
we left and David decided to
had nothing to do with school. I enjoyed the sound of words and the write about Ancient Egypt. We
power of story telling. In college, I rewrote the words to popular songs have been studying Egypt in
for pleasure and for our sorority. history and David is fascinated
Photographs supposedly say a thousand words, but truly, the words with the subject. He spent 10
minutes writing the following:
preserve an experience in a way no photograph can. How many old pic-
tures have you seen and wondered, “Who is that? Why were they at our “King Tut wasn’t the best.
There were numerous
house? Was that Thanksgiving or Christmas?” Even a poorly written Pharaohs. There were 3 king-
journal entry will call up memories, images and conversations in a way doms. Most kings reigned for a
that a photo can’t. few years. The Egyptians
thought they were invincible
3. Writing for pay: Lots of people earn their living writing. Most of with their army. Thutmose con-
them aren’t novelists either. People write instructions for manuals, maga- quered many countries and got
rich. Cheops made the Great
zine articles, business reports, brochures and ad copy. Kids can write for Pyramids. Menes was the first
magazines (See Children’s Writer’s Market), Internet contests and schol- Pharaoh. They used hieroglyph-
arship applications. Some kids develop newsletters for their friends or ics. There were many Queen
neighborhoods. I have a couple of students who started a comic Pharaohs. Egypt was conquered
a lot. Ancient Egypt started
book/newspaper for their homeschooling friends. They charged 25 cents around 4000 B.C. and ended in
an issue. around 3 B.C. by the Romans.
4. Writing to give: What is a written work without an audience? It’s “There were many capitals
throughout the 30 dynasties
a lonely muse for the author’s solitary pleasure. Words do have power.
and the few periods. The
Writing as a gift to someone else is personal and defies duplication. Just Egyptians were first conquered
like painting a picture, writing a letter, poem, song, story, description of a by the Hyksos. There were
memory or thoughts can be an intimate way to share yourself with some- mastabas, tombs, obelisks, pyra-
mids, sphinxes, and many other
one you love.
monuments found throughout
My mother is known for some incredible encounters with bears. Her Egypt. The Delta was called
grandchildren crowd around her to hear the tales again and again. One “Lower Egypt,” and the rest
year, she compiled fourteen of the stories that she’d experienced while was “Upper Egypt.” They con-
sidered Egypt “The gift of the
hiking over the past ten years. She turned it into a book with photos and
Nile.” Without the Nile, most
gave it to two of her granddaughters for Christmas. It’s my daughter’s things in ancient Egypt would
favorite book. My mother preserved precious memories that will outlive not have happened.”
her for our family. I think he remembered a lot
I’ve written poems for friends, detailed letters about my life to my from history. Certainly more
dad, and songs for worship for our Women’s Bible Study. Writing is a than I did!
personal and powerful gift. —Nickie
Of diaries and journals

Can’t help it. Keeping a diary is my longest enduring passion. I
decided very early, though, that I didn’t have to write in one daily. I write
147

in spurts and usually every week. There have been a few significant peri-
ods of silence in my journal writing life, but mostly I have them dating
back to fourth grade.
“I love Scott Halstead. My friend
Anna does too. This is my first The best reason to keep a diary is because you want to… or need to.
diary. It was for my birthday... In my case, I have an inner drive that propels me to write out what I’m
Scott Halstead loves me. I love thinking and experiencing. Not all kids do. Encourage the ones who are
him. I sort of like Larry Cooke.
driven. The ones who aren’t (or don’t know that they might be) can par-
He’s sort of cute.”
ticipate at a more perfunctory level. There’s benefit to be gained in learn-
This is the first entry in my first
ing to make journal-writing a tool in the box.
diary when I was in fourth
Keys to successful journal writing

grade. It is also an example of
what not to write in diaries in
the fourth or any other grade. First and foremost is the need for a quality book to write in. Of
—jb
course blank books are everywhere. I won’t bore you with detailing the
floral covers. Here are some requirements for my journals. (You may find
that keeping a journal yourself is a way to stay in touch with the writing
process as you teach it to your kids too). The following list is directed to
journal writers, you and/or your kids.
• I like mine to lay flat. It’s tough for kids especially to write in books
that have to be propped open and keep closing on their hands.
Spiral bound books do the trick, but some of them only encourage
ripped pages. Try to find the kind that have a double spiral binding.
(These look like cookbook bindings). They tend to be sturdier. I’ve
found them for cheap at Old Navy. I’ve also used books that have
sewn bindings. Those work great too.
• A good pen is very motivating, especially to girls. I went through
a fountain pen phase for about four years. Loved it. Thought it very
missionary-like. (Writers are self-indulgent.) Gelly Roll pens and
black notebook paper are fun. And of course, the Amelia’s Notebook
series has inspired a generation of girls to be creative in their jour-
nals—not limiting themselves to words only, but little illustrations as
well.
• Write about your feelings, sure, but don’t allow your feelings to
swallow up the more memorable moments of daily life. I have
journals that were written in France and you wouldn’t even know I
was there. My thoughts were so absorbed in my “what’s-his-name”
boyfriend that I didn’t even note the interesting sites around me.
Now as an adult, I couldn’t care less about “what’s-his-name” but
would love to remember specific details of places and people and
smells and thoughts related to these experiences.
• Your life is a story. Write it as one. Include bits of dialog, clever
observations that you overhear, be melodramatic and describe in
ridiculous detail the banquet or wedding or mule trek. Don’t be
embarrassed to take notes about your life as you live it. When the
words are fresh (like when I drive somewhere), I jot them down
quickly on the back of a super market receipt. I pop it into my wallet
and type it into my journal later. Teach kids to pay attention to their
unique ways of expressing themselves.
148

• Be sure to write the names of the cities and places you visit
and the dates and times. These get hazy after a couple of years.
• Don’t throw your journals away. As goofy as they seem to me
now (the ones from college especially—which have all my theologi-
Give my children a creative
cal meanderings), I have real documentation of how a girl like me
writing assignment and they’ll
thought and saw her world at the various ages and stages of life. As
go at it like a terrier at a bone.
a writer, these journals are resources for me in a way nothing else
They will write for 45 minutes
is. For kids who go on to write, their journals provide raw material
nonstop. Then we will listen
for stories, essays, novels and screenplays. Count on it.
attentively and laugh in all the
right places as each one reads
So do you require an entry every day? No. Do you require journals at his masterpiece.
all? Yes. For a little while. Keep a notebook journal with your kids. You’ll —Toni
be glad you did.
Some kids do well to have a writing prompt for journal writing.
Some don’t. For those who do, here are some journal starters:
1. Dialog journal: There are lots of kids who enjoy dialog journals.
These can be written between siblings or a parent and child. One dad
I know used to write a question on the homeschool white board
before bed each night. The kids would wake up and write in a note-
book their answers. Then Dad would read them when he got home.
Very motivating.
Sometimes moms and kids write to each other. The mom will write a
question at the top of a page in a shared journal. The child writes an
answer and then puts his own question at the top of the next page
and the mother answers it. And so it goes back and forth until interest
wanes.
2. Big event journals: For my reluctant writer, I only ask him to
record big events. Camp-outs, field trips, family vacations, birthdays,
Shakespeare Camp, Fall Weekend with his youth group…These are
experiences that are rich with detail and are events he enjoys reading
about again later.
3. Create topics for yourself. In the book, Trumpet of the Swan, the
main character writes in his journal each night and closes the entry
with a question to think about as he falls asleep. In kind of a reversal
of that idea, I suggest creating questions for journal entries that your
child will answer the next day.
By thinking of the question one day and writing the next, the writer
gives his mind (and subconscious) time to work on the answer. By the
time the writer comes back to his journal, writing will be much easier.
Here are a few ideas to get started.
• Describe your favorite nook in the house and why you like to be in
it.
• Write as many five letter words as you can think of. Then try to
make sentences out of them.
• Pick one game you love and tell a friend how to play it.
• Take a walk by yourself and listen. Come home and write about all
the sounds you heard. Compare them to other sounds you know.
149

• Pretend you are a mirror. What do you see?

• List five things you’re grateful for. Explain why.
• Choose one item in your room to describe in detail.
• Use the following sentence starter and keep writing. “I’m very sure
that I will…”
• Another sentence starter, “It’s too bad that…”
•Write in a different location—up in a tree, fort, on top of the jungle
gym. Sit outside in the shade, then in the sun. Write in a library, at a
fast food place, in a park, at the beach.
• Choose a color—then take a walk noticing all the things you see
that are that color. Come home and write about them in rapid suc-
cession.
• Open a poetry book. Grab any line. Write it at the top of the page
and then keep going. Let the line lead you into more writing. Do the
same with Shakespeare or a favorite novel or bit of dialog from a
loved movie.
• Choose two opposite words. Divide the page in two and list as
quickly as you can all the words that those images conjure up—for
instance, light and dark, high and low, love and hate, short and tall,
vanity and humility, new and old, bright and dull...
• Write with a friend. Sit together. Set the timer for one minute. Each
person writes for a minute. Then switch notebooks. Read what your
friend wrote. Reset the timer for a minute or two and write under the
friend’s entry. Continue to trade back and forth for at least three ses-
sions.
Journals are a great way to create regular writing opportunities. Once

a week is usually plenty and if you schedule them for Fridays, your kids
will have had all week to accumulate experiences to write about.
150

Chapter 14
Growing a Writer
The Natural Stages of Growth in Writing
“He’s doing it. Look! Andrew let go of my hand! He’s walking!”

Relief swept Karen’s face. She’d been agonizing over the fact that my son
Noah, three months younger, had been walking for two whole days
already. She celebrated momentarily and then said quickly, “Julie, um, do
The use of language begins
you think I could write in his baby book that he walked at twelve
with imitation. The infant imi-
months since he doesn’t turn thirteen months old until tomorrow?” tates the sounds made by par-
Don’t we moms obsess over the silliest things? As though the date ents; the child imitates the first
this boy learned to walk will impact his future as a walker! The truth of spoken language, then the stuff
of books. The imitative life
the matter is, it didn’t matter at all! Andrew walked when he was ready,
continues long after the writer
and no medical growth chart or comparison to my kid sped him up. is on his own in language, for it
That’s true for writing too. Writing can be as natural to children as is almost impossible to avoid
speaking, walking and throwing food. And it really doesn’t matter what imitating what one admires.
Never imitate consciously, but
age they begin or when they pass through the stages. We don’t need to
do not worry about being an
compare our children to the “average third grader” and then worry that imitator; take pains instead to
they’re behind. As long as our kids move through the stages of growth admire what is good. Then
natural to most writers, we can be assured that eventually, in their right when you write in a way that
comes naturally, you will echo
time, our children will write confidently and comfortably.
the halloos that bear repeating.
One year I was given a packet of forget-me-not seeds to plant in my
—Strunk and White
garden. Being the purple thumb that I am, I promptly put them aside
The Elements of Style
and forgot about them (in spite of their gently insistent name). A year
later, you know what? Those seeds were still in the packet and they were
still seeds.
Plucking up my courage, I planted them. Lo and behold, with a little
rain, some weeding and new mulch, they went from seed to sprout to
151

CHAPTER 14 GROWING A WRITER
tiny plant to flower. The life is in the seed. All a seed needs are the right
conditions for growth. The writing seed is in your child. All she needs
I was afraid of turning them off are the right conditions for growth.
of writing by finding their work
In this chapter, I take you on a tour of the landscape of the Writer’s
“not good enough.” I know
what good writing looks Jungle. Each phase can come quite naturally if you know what to look for
(sounds) like, but maybe I was and don’t inadvertently expect a child to either skip a stage or to go
hoping that knowledge would through it alone. There will be times of backtracking and some leaps for-
travel by osmosis into my chil-
ward. But by and large, these phases occur naturally in homes where
dren without my having to be
“the bad guy.” I kept looking for mothers are relaxed and have reasonable expectations. The bottom line is
the “perfect” curriculum that that modeling and encouragement are the most helpful tools for any
would teach them how to really writing program. I hope that understanding how the writing process
polish a paper. That great cur-
works will free you to enjoy the process rather than resenting it.
riculum could be their editor so
I wouldn’t have to be. But you The natural stages of writing don’t have to do with writing per se.
know what? There isn’t one. They have to do with the maturity of a child’s mind combined with his
A book can’t substitute for a verbal and scrawling skills. Instead of figuring out when to start teaching
living, breathing person who the paragraph, it’s much more helpful to identify how he writes… what
cares about them and wants to kind of scope and breadth he can communicate on paper.
see them do the best they can
do. Growing a writer
—Toni Before kids speak in fluent sentences, they do all kinds of funny
things to communicate. They groan, point, make gestures and say their
own versions of words. Johannah coined these two baby words—words
we still use today. “Dreadroom” instead of bedroom, and “mazazine”
instead of magazine. We thought these so cute we recorded them in her
baby book and continued to use them long after she’d learned the right
words in their place.
Because we know that our kids will eventually speak correctly, most
parents think speaking mistakes cute enough to write down for posterity.
Funny how we don’t have the same confidence about writing. I’ve never
heard a mother chuckle about a spelling peculiarity or a misuse of punc-
tuation.
Imagine seeing your best friend, Lisa Marie, at the homeschool co-
op and declaring, “Guess what? Emily Joy spelled ‘celebration’ as ‘sell-a-
bra-shun.’ Isn’t that adorable?”
I know you can’t imagine it. Yet that’s exactly the kind of attitude to
take. These aberrations will pass. Soon their written work will be the reg-
ular, standard, sometimes hard-to-comprehend spellings of English
instead of those wonderful childish inventions.
There are reasons why parents don’t worry about talking while they
worry a lot about writing. All of us learn to talk and use that skill for
basic communication every day of our lives. We don’t think much about
what to say or how to say it most of the time. The act of speaking is
almost instinctual once a person masters it.
But what if a child wants to use spoken language for a more special-
ized task like speech making, acting or debate? Then verbal communica-
152

tion requires another level of skill and development. Children and adults
then learn certain spoken forms such as how to perform, how to argue or
how to give a speech. These forms are learned after a child knows how to
I need to make my children feel
speak naturally. that they have valuable things
We don’t encourage speech-making at the same time a child is figur- to say. I need to stop what I'm
ing out how to make a complete sentence come out of her mouth. We doing long enough to notice
and to listen to them, encourage
wait for a level of comfort and fluency before expecting spoken language
them and stop discouraging the
to be used for specialized purposes. things they like to do.
And there’s the key difference between writing and speaking.
I dislike Pokemon, N64, and
Educators have tricked us into believing that writing isn’t legitimate ‘NSYNC, but because they're
unless it’s clearly confined to known writing forms. They over-emphasize interested in these, maybe I
paragraphing, essay writing, letters and stories. Writing, by and large, need to give them a chance to
converse more with me on these
isn’t allowed the freedom to grow naturally like speech.
subjects. If they don’t know that
A writer doesn’t achieve true fluency in writing until he or she is their ideas and perspectives
between fifteen and twenty. For the first five to seven years (usually have value, writing will feel like
between 8 and 13-15), the child is learning the basics of how to get excruciating torture. That
describes the problem in my
thoughts on paper. There’s a queer kind of translation process that hap-
home! Aha! Did you hear that
pens in a child’s mind when she goes from thinking to writing. The ver- sound? That was me palming
bal fluency that she experiences doesn’t translate easily to limited tran- myself on the forehead!
scription skills. The learning curve is steep. She can think, but can she The change I need to make
spell, punctuate and hold onto thoughts long enough to get them down starts with changing the way I
on paper while her pencil slowly moves across the page? relate to them. I’m going to
stop and listen more. I’m going
So let’s review to listen for ideas, perspectives,
and insights even when I’m not
Our young writers will learn how to write much as they learned how generally interested. That's what
to speak correctly. At first, their mistakes will be cute (or so we ought to love does right?!
think of them). Then they’ll learn how to take the raw material of their —Evelyn
thinking and start to record it on paper in a totally disorganized mess.
Then one day, they’ll follow a train of thought and it will actually make
logical sense. (This skill is commonly known as paragraphing.) And so
on.
The main difference between writing and speaking is that we mostly
use writing for more concrete communication than speaking. We can talk
all day long and never encounter a person who will let us know that we
told the story out of order or made a grammar mistake. But when we
write, we are given no such grace. The reader does demand a certain
amount of fluency in the written word.
What’s the best way to learn how to take care of the reader’s need for
organization and clarity in writing? We imitate the speech-learning
process first. We start with easy communication—the kind that demands
almost no attention to form. And as the writing student grows, we intro-
duce bits of information that enhance the written communication so that
eventually, the natural writing voice is trained in how to present itself,
much like a speaker can be taught how to make a speech instead of just
talking.
153

Our primary job as writing coach is to midwife the birth of a healthy

writer. We don’t coerce or intervene, but support, affirm and nurture the
growth of our young writers through modeling and hands-on help until
If we would believe it, composi-
tion is as natural as jumping
they’re ready to do it alone. In the meantime, we can jot in their baby
and running to children who books the funny ways they spell words. After all, they won’t spell them
have been allowed due use of that way forever.
books. They should narrate in
the first place, and they will I. Jot it Down
compose, later, readily enough; Before kids can write their thoughts and ideas, someone else needs to
but they should not be taught
‘composition.’ do it for them. Nothing novel about this idea. Hundreds of thousands of
children draw pictures on sheets of paper that have lines at the bottom.
—Charlotte Mason,
Home Education Their mothers, teachers, grandparents, babysitters write down what the
picture is about as the child narrates it to the adult.
Initially, most kids don’t realize that what they say or think has any
relationship to paper. When we record their thoughts in writing, they’re
amazed to hear their own words repeated back to them when we read
from those same papers. Magic! The purely verbal outburst that usually
disappears into thin air is suddenly preserved for all the world to read!
“I tried one of the ideas we talked about with the boys yesterday. It
actually worked. I asked them to write about a specific character or
scene in one of the Redwall books. I gave some very specific guide-
lines and helped them narrow the subject matter down to a “do-able”
level. Then I went to the computer to kill time... er, work.
“Ten minutes later Luke walks in with tears in his eyes. He says he
just doesn't know how to begin, how much background to give, etc. I
ask him if he knows what he wants to talk about. “Oh yes,” he says.
So that’s not the problem. So I asked him to tell me the story like he
usually does. He looked confused for a moment then he launched into
the description of a scene.
“I picked up his paper and pencil and started writing as fast as I could
go. When he realized what I was doing, he suddenly changed his
style and it got stilted and predictable. I stopped and told him to tell
me the story in his own words, and to not try to find “complete sen-
tences” in there. So he went back to his run-on style and I wrote over
a page before he slowed down. Other than leaving out a few “ands” I
wrote exactly what he told me. It was great.
“A few minutes later down comes the other son with only one sen-
tence written. He looks at me with big puppy eyes and I take his pen-
cil and paper, too. He then dictates over a page rapid-fire.
“I was amazed at how easily they could get the words and thoughts
together when they didn’t have to write them down. I also noticed that
they read their own “book reports” and then read each other’s and
had a great time remembering the scenes described.
“I was excited that we had a good “writing” time yesterday.”
—Carrie
Jotting down what your kids tell you isn’t a short cut to writing. It is
154

writing. You’re simply the transcriptionist. You give your child the ability
to write while he is still learning the mechanics of moving his pencil
across the page.
Today, my mom and I were
Older kids enjoy seeing me write down what they say as much as lit- talking about how helpful you
tler kids. Sometimes it’s a relief to just think out loud and know that and your writing class was to
those thoughts are being recorded for you. me. When I first started your
class I could barely write one
Earlier I urged you to follow the Growth of a Writer chart in the
page, and it would sound like a
order presented here regardless of the age of your child. Some mothers fourth grader was writing it.
have wondered if it’s really necessary to begin at the beginning with a You have helped me come light
teenager who is not successful in writing. For kids who are reluctant years in English and writing.
For [my college level writing]
writers, or who have had repeated failures in writing, begin with the Jot it
class I made a B in the course
Down phase no matter how old the student. (923 points, that’s 6 point from
I have one student who began working with me at age 16. He hated an A!) There is no possible way
writing and had had little success at it. His mother began in the Jot it I could have passed the course
without your guidance and
Down phase, and wrote what he dictated for a month before they moved
help. I want to thank you for
to the next level. He followed the natural stages of growth through to a not giving up on me.
high school level of writing (Stage IV) all in one year. Just this month,
This quarter I have a 20 page
this same student wrote a twenty-page research paper without any assis- research paper that I have to do
tance from his mother. Because he is older, he made rapid progress. Your in nine weeks! I’m really, really
kids will too. looking forward to it! Thank
you for everything you have
Writing projects for the Jot it Down phase: taught me. I believe that
• Stories written in booklet form

because of your guidance I have
Mother writes the words down; child draws illustrations to go with

become a much better writer.
them.
—Bennett (17)
• Short narrations of history, fairy tales or art prints

As the child shares what he’s heard/observed, the mother records
(by tape or pen) the words and then makes sure there is a written
copy to save.
To sit on rocks; to muse o’er
• Lists
flood and fell;
To slowly trace the forest’s
Kids love to recite lists of information. My six-year-old likes to tell me shady scene,
the names and weaponry of each Lego creation he makes. We write Where things that own not
these down as he describes them and keep them in a special note- man’s dominion dwell,
book. Christmas gift lists, all the Lego kits, American Girl Doll dress- And mortal foot hath ne’er or
es, birds that come to the bird feeder, dinosaurs, the daily tempera- rarely been!
ture on a calendar—these make good lists. To climb the trackless moun-
• Nature notebooks
tain all unseen.
Keep a journal of the weather and seasons. Write descriptions of

With the wild flock, that never
the weather to accompany a drawing. (For a wonderful example of

need a fold;
nature journaling, see The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady, by

Alone o’er steeps and foaming
Edith Holden. She includes watercolor paintings, journal entries and

falls to lean;
poems like the one in the sidebar. For small children, of course, the
This is not solitude: ‘tis but to
contents will be rudimentary but just as delightful).

hold
Converse with Nature’s charms,
• Letters
and view her stores unrolled.
Email makes this especially easy. Let your kids tell you what to say —Byron
to grandma. Type it into the email and click. Letter writing made
easy and practical.
155

• Copywork
For kids who are learning to write, occasionally their own words can
provide copywork. Jot down something your child says and let her
Dan wanted me to leave the copy it over.
Recap
room so he could think about
what to write. He preferred to
• The writer talks and the mother, friend, father, teacher writes it
jot notes down on paper. This
down.
jotting down notes is a new
• The writer becomes familiar with creating words and communica-

concept for him.
tions that are worth preserving on paper. Communication goes from

It makes writing easier and less
purely verbal—to preserved in writing with the idea of communicat-

intimidating. Dan and I have
ing his thoughts to a wider audience.

spent a lot of time talking about
this class and the new ideas we
are learning about writing. We • This phase includes projects such as: pictures with captions, stories
have come to the conclusion written at the bottom of pages stapled together for later illustration,
that writing is a lot about narrations of fables, and so on.
• Use the dictated records as copywork for your young writer to give
thinking. Who knew you were
your child a chance to write his own words.

actually supposed to think
before you wrote?
II. Partnership Writing

Before, it was—Here, write
about something you couldn't
care less about. Now start. Partnership Writing is the most easily skipped phase of the writing
Pencils would hit the page and
process. Mothers happily write for their children their thoughts and
begin to write the most boring ideas until these same kids have some pencil proficiency. Then, suddenly,
stuff about the most boring without warning, the kids are on their own. Mothers go from supporting
topics and we thought we were the writing process to feeling guilty for interfering with it. This is when
writing. At least we were finish-
ing the assignment.
the majority of kids learn to hate writing.
So what is Partnership Writing? It’s the phase of writing where mom
No wonder it was dry.
and child work together to produce the final product. Some of the work
—Barb is the child’s, some is the mother’s and some is a true collaboration.
Picture this: mother and daughter sitting side by side at the table.
Each has a piece of paper in front of her. Both of them hold pencils.
Together, they discuss the topic. They each contribute ideas and sen-
tences and new ways to express things. Sometimes Mom jots down their
ideas. Sometimes she encourages her child to write what they think of
together. And sometimes the child jots his own notes onto his piece of
paper without any help at all.
Model the process of developing and recording ideas. Kids don’t
know how to struggle with words, how to think about choosing just the
right ones. They have thoughts that disappear when they try to write
them out since their handwriting skills are much slower than their
“thinkers.” By keeping you at their side, they can verbalize the thought,
then in your presence painstakingly write it out while you help them to
remember what they had just said.
Partnership Writing is labor intensive. You must not only be available
for the actual “moment of writing” but you must make time to talk a
whole bunch, too. At this stage, it’s very important to talk about the
topic for writing before sitting down together with paper. If your kids
156

talk well, they’ll write well.

Think of weaning a child from breastfeeding. You don’t just cut off
the breast and suddenly hand your child a steak, a fork and a knife. You
…the point to be considered is
puree the food and spoon-feed it for awhile. Then you hand the toddler that the subject be one on
the spoon but supervise the eating. You pick up the spoon that was which, to quote again Jane
thrown overboard 72 times. You prod and bargain to get two more bites Austen’s expression, the imagi-
nation of the children has been
into his little mouth.
‘warmed.’ They should be asked
Once he takes over, all does not go smoothly either. For quite a to write upon subjects which
while, more food ends up on the floor than in his mouth. He balks at his have interested them keenly.
favorite foods some days for no apparent reason. Some days he eats a —Charlotte Mason
ton; others, he hardly eats a thing and you wonder why. But all of this Home Education
will change very shortly. Just when you think you’ll never be free of the
high chair and the spills, he manages to eat an entire bowl of Cheerios
without any help!
One morning you find your little guy happily pouring his own cereal
and eating it before you wake up. A self-feeding eater has emerged. You
don’t expect to go from breastfeeding to autonomous self-feeding in one
step. You support the transition.
The same is true for writing. Do it together for a couple years and
eventually your child will be ready to tackle it on his own.
Writing projects for the Partnership Writing phase:

• Detailed descriptions Obviously, I’ve got typical kids.
Keen Observation Exercise—Chapter 3 The biggest problem is not
• Book reports
them, it's me. The student isn’t
Narrations of stories—Chapter 15
supposed to magically know
how to write well; he’s sup-
• Freewriting
posed to be TAUGHT, but I
Chapter 4
don't know how to do that, so I
wimp out on requiring much at
• Journaling all. It’s so much easier to put
Keeping a diary of science experiments, nature notebooking, special my effort into something I
events, observations of a loved pet’s habits. know how to teach, like math
• Letter writing
or grammar, than to fight both
their apathy and my ignorance.
• Cartoons or comic strips —Rachel
• Limericks
• Mini-reports
For kids who are in upper elementary or junior high.
• Oral reports
Kids learn how to copy and paraphrase material from books. They
take notes and then deliver an oral version of the report. There is no
need to revise or produce a final written product for oral reports.
• Writing instructions
Directions to the child’s house, baking cookies, building a treehouse,
tying a knot and so on.
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Write in a way that comes easi- Recap

• The writing product is half the writer’s and half the partner’s: mother,
ly and naturally to you, using
friend, father, and teacher.

words and phrases that come
readily to hand. Do not assume
• This phase is characterized by lots of discussion, dialog and verbal
that because you have acted
ramblings.
naturally your product is with-
• Includes freewriting, journaling, combined writing.

out flaw.
—Strunk and White
Elements of Style • Sentences are a mixture of original material from the writer and sug-
gestions, word choices and ideas from outside sources—either
reading material or parent/teacher.
• Most kids go through a “bad-paraphrasing” stage where they literally
pirate the wordings or sentence organization of the books they use
for source material. The same is true when collaborating with a par-
ent for a report, poem or story. Mom or Dad will make suggestions
that are used wholesale without any change.
• The combined effort, however, results in a piece that the child
owns—feels is his writing. If a child feels that the writing doesn’t
sound like him, the parent has interfered too much.
III. Faltering Ownership

The emergence of writer’s voice in your child’s work is exciting.
Though transcribing a child’s spoken words often captures a child’s
“voice,” it often takes longer to see that develop when a child writes all
by himself.
Faltering Ownership is the stage of growth in writing where the
young writer discovers that he cares about what he writes. He considers
not only what he wants to say, but also how he wants to say it. And some
kids will start to do more writing on their own.
Many kids don’t appear to care about what they write. If that’s the
case with one of your children, don’t despair. Faltering Ownership means
that your kids will weave in and out of enthusiasm for their writing
assignments. This phase lasts a long time (sometimes three and four
years). It takes time for some children to discover that they are on that
page—not just ink. When they do, their level of commitment to the
words they write goes up. And it’s at that point that they are developing
a sense of ownership over their writing.
You know your child is entering this phase when:

• He wants to keep writing after the timer has sounded.
• She listens to her first draft read aloud and says, “Can I change
that one word?”
• He gets bugged that his writing sounds juvenile or immature.
• She thinks she’s not a very good writer and wants to know how to
get better at it.
• He thinks to write something down himself without being asked to.
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• She goes beyond the requirements of the assignment—writes

longer, more or with greater creativity than assigned.
• He wants to share what he’s written with you, his dad or some
other audience.
Ideal writing environment at
my house:
• She keeps a journal for personal pleasure. Books, piled on the floor by
every bed, magazines, note-
This stage is also characterized by poor punctuation, misspellings books, letters, pencils every-
galore, awkward sentence structures, and weak organization. That’s why I where. Wilted wildflowers, tad-
call this Faltering Ownership. These kids are “bad writers”—that is, they pole tanks, circuit boards, quilt
couldn’t get their writing published. So don’t expect perfection. Expect scraps, K-NEX creations. Books
and more books. Discussions,
effort and caring and interest. one-on-one and riotous melees,
The student is learning to care (but doesn’t always), is learning the thundered, sobbed, giggled
conventions of writing (but doesn’t often get them right), is learning how while peeling potatoes or
to make the thoughts he hears and reads his own (though often rips off watching stars.
the words of others to do it). This process takes a lot of time—your time Poetry recited in the car. Art
and his. and music and theology setting
the tempo of life, pulsing
So don’t rush the process or get discouraged by it. Look for the flick- through our souls. Questions
ers of self and pride that reveal your child has moved out of the depen- and answers and wonderings.
dency of Partnership Writing and into the more mature phase of owning Words, words, words assigned
his words. (By the way, there is fluctuation—regression and leaps forward to feelings and observations and
in all of these. Just like babies, there are days when they zoom ahead and dreams. To be so accustomed to
other days when they still want to sit on your lap. Don’t push them off thinking, wondering, and sup-
posing that it pours out into
too quickly. Support them each step of the way). expression of every sort, one
When a child starts to take ownership of his writing you can intro- time—words the tool of choice,
duce rudimentary self-editing. Kids can be expected to check their writ- another time—paint or piano.
ing for spelling and punctuation errors before handing their work in to To be so used to interacting
with words, both self-generated
you. They don’t have to find all the mistakes. They simply need to be and received from others, that
reminded to look for those words and punctuation marks that they writing them down is no big
already know how to use. This is the beginning of making your child deal, merely the logical next
responsible for the final draft rather than their depending on your exper- step—a means to capture and
colorize what the mind has
tise. already created.
Writing projects for the Faltering Ownership phase —Rachel
• Interest-led writing
Kids who are beginning to own their words must write about things
they know. Toss any assignment that expects a child to write from a
vacuum.
• Mini-reports
These are a great way to introduce academic writing. Just be sure
that the topic is one you’ve spent lots of time studying. (Chapter 7)
• Advertisements
Kids learn advertising language better than most other writing forms
because of the inundation of commercials. Capitalize on this sixth
The pen is the tongue of the
sense and let your kids turn information into ads. (For instance, my
mind.
kids made a mail order catalog called the “Mesopotamia Mall:
Everything you need for the afterlife.” It featured artifacts used by
—Cervantes
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ancient Egyptians found in tombs and pyramids.)

• Writing frames
Use the Five Keys or the “Who, What, Where, When and Why” grids
to elicit bite-sized writing prompts. (Chapter 6)
Writers seldom write the things
• Stories and poems

they think. They simply write
Depending on the child, some kids find writing fiction far easier than
the things they think other
writing non-fiction. If you think about it, it’s fairly obvious why. They
folks think they think.
spend far more time reading fiction than they do non-fiction.

—Elbert Hubbard
The Great Conversation

In addition to writing, there are some important concepts and atti-
tudes to coax during the Faltering Ownership phase. Our kids are learning
to write not just so they can get into college, but to become meaningful
Why do people always expect members of what is called “The Great Conversation.” This conversation
authors to answer questions? I
is centuries old (as old as the literate human race) and is all about defin-
am an author because I want to
ASK questions. If I had answers ing who we are, why we are here and the nature of living on this spinning
I'd be a politician. globe.
—Eugene Ionesco It’s the conversation between Plato and Descartes, Shakespeare and
Arthur Miller, Galileo and Newton. Writing enables people of the past
to contribute to our present. We become full-fledged members of this
conversation when we’ve developed enough interest and skill in a field of
study to contribute to it. This rarely happens before age twenty-five.
The primary way humans preserve their thoughts and ideas is
through writing. So the first step in joining the conversation is to eaves-
drop on it. And that’s just what kids in fourth through eighth grade are
beginning to do. High school and college deepen our appreciation for the
thinking of these experts. Over time, we will form our own conclusions
and will find our niche in the world of discussion
So when you begin this process of Faltering Ownership, it’s a good
idea to keep in mind that your kids won’t be thinking too many terribly
original thoughts anyway. Their job is simply to learn how to say precise-
ly and with life the things they absorb and learn from those with more
information than they have.
What to read
Fiction
• Read lots of it and imitate when possible.
Look for ways to copy the work of good writers. For instance, I love
using Kipling’s Just So Stories as a model for kids.
• Identify the elements that work in novels and stories.
Look for the literary elements that make works of literature great.
(Chapter 1—Reading Aloud)
Non-fiction
• Read good non-fiction (harder to find). Whenever you find a book
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written by an expert who is passionate about his topic and who has
a gift for writing, you’ve found a gem. If there’s money in the check-
ing account, buy it! Many children’s non-fiction books are written by
journeymen writers—those who know how to research and write
copy. Though these are fine for reports and research, they are not
Advice to young writers who
the same as reading the quality writing that a passionate expert

want to get ahead without any
writes about his topic.

annoying delays: don't write
about Man, write about a man.
• Identify why it works. —E. B. White

Look for elements of non-fiction that work in the books of choice.
Usually you’ll find anecdotes, personal story, research, interesting,
little known facts, organized information, and humor in the good
stuff.
Recap
• The child begins to write without so much help. First drafts gener-
ally come from the child (though the need to talk first is still para-
mount).
• The best writing is interest-led. The child must write about what is
actually in his head—not to an assignment.
• List writing is still popular at this age—records of birds visiting the
bird feeder, weapons used in WWI, records of science experiments,
lists of flowers that bloom in the garden and when, great men of the
Civil War, all the states that Lewis and Clark visited…
• Freewriting is also growing at this stage. The writer begins to find
freedom in getting raw ideas and thoughts down on paper in any old
order.
• Self-editing is introduced.
• Begin to be aware of how the “Great Conversation” is being
brought into your home.
IV. Transition to Ownership

Kids in this phase show readiness for greater instruction in the writ-
ing process. Once they’ve overcome their basic resistance to writing and
show marginal competence at it, it’s time to help them think like a
writer. The problem with most writing programs is that they focus on
writing forms rather than focusing on how writers go about generating
words.
Young writers more than any other kind need instruction in how to
choose words, how to get them out, how to make them sound better,
how to arrange them powerfully. Young writers need help to observe
keenly both concrete objects, but also their experiences, the facts they
digest, the arguments they face in the writing they read. All of these
skills do more to help students break through in writing than the moun-
tains of information about paragraph construction.
At the time of this publication, I’m writing a supplement that details
the “Perceptual Skills of Being a Writer.” There are certain skills writers
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have innately that non-writers don’t. Just as artists seem to know how to
draw naturally and non-artists consider what they do a mystery, so it is
The most valuable thing I
with writing. Interestingly enough, however, non-artists can be taught to
learned is that it’s okay to direct draw. They simply need instruction in how to see the way an artist sees.
and pull things out of the girls. Writing is similar. Writers perceive reality in special ways that can be
I wasn’t sure how much direc- taught and learned. I’ve developed exercises that help students to think
tion to give them, but the more
direction I gave, the more they
the way a writer thinks, to see the way a writer sees, and to use language
began to think for themselves. the way a writer uses it. These exercises are available through my online
The most valuable thing they class: Kidswrite Intermediate. The written material is substantial enough
learned is that they can write. that it merits its own release date. Stay tuned. The perceptual skills that
—Kim most writers have that our kids need to learn are:
• Keen Observation
• Powerful Association
• Telling the True Truth
• The Power of Musical Language
• Sustained Incubation/Brooding
Both fiction and non-fiction writing are valuable in the Transition to

Ownership. Most of the topics should still be interest-led with a few
select assignments that feature a unit of study (either in history, literature
or science).
The following list will help you to see how to grow your young writ-
ers in both fiction and non-fiction writing.
Progression for fiction writing

• Exposure to quality fiction through reading/copying:
• Poetry
• Shakespeare (the famous bits after viewing)
• Bible
• Classic literature
• Modern novels (Especially the Newberry winners)
This is the time to allow for lots of creativity in the writing process.
One of my online students (Gabrielle, 8) wrote about crossing the
Atlantic on the Mayflower in diary form (Chapter 9). She researched all
of the factual elements of the period and even read enough literature to
reproduce a believable dialect in her writing.
Because she has a penchant for fiction, I encouraged her to continue
to write as many of her writing assignments in that format as possible.
She can be taught non-fiction writing forms when she’s much older. For
now, she’s having lots of success and fun writing in the way most com-
fortable to her and that level of ease with writing will carry over to
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expository writing later.

Encourage the writing of some poetry (limericks are a great place to
start), short stories, song lyrics, cartoon captions, advertisements, quality
I learned that it is not just okay
descriptions of objects, narrations of history—like the Bible, fables, his- it’s a great idea for kids to spend
torical fiction and so on. less time writing and more time
Play with the genres. There is no “right” list of requirements. thinking about the topic,
researching the topic, discussing
Experiment with copying good writing or using it as a springboard for
the topic and generally getting
more writing. into it!
Progression for non-fiction writing In fact, we made up a maxim

for this—try it with a Scottish
Non-fiction writing at this stage is mostly report form. The purpose brogue: “You canna write abou’
of writing non-fiction is to encourage clarity in the writing as well as to what ya’ dunna kin” or “You
develop research skills. The objectives for the Transition to Ownership can’t write about what you don’t
phase are: know!”
• Library research skills: especially for history or science related top-

—Judy
ics
• The Dreaded Elementary Report. (See Chapter 15) No long
reports—short reports after lots of research. (This is for students
who’ve not yet done one no matter what age). Junior high students
can also write reports.
• Note-taking—use of notecard system
• Outlining main ideas
• Narration—orally “in the moment” and prepared presentation (oral
reporting)
The bottom line: your kids don’t know much yet. They are learning
everything from people who know more than they do. Help them to be
honest about this and to enjoy the researching period. A child con-
tributes a bit of himself to his writing when he includes his sense of
humor, his personal and related experiences and his own quirky way of
expressing himself. This is not the time to be rigid or forced. A lot of
research—a little writing. That’s the way to think about it.
Oral Reports
For this reason, I’m a big fan of oral reports. A dear friend here in
Cincinnati shared with me a plan she uses with her kids. She assigns an
oral report topic from the history they study on Monday. The student
has all week to find library books and material on the Internet. The child
takes notes and then delivers a short oral report to the rest of the family
on Friday.
We’ve used this model in our home and I’ve found it very effective.
Oral reports train kids to take notes and to be selective in the informa-
tion they choose to share. Since I select topics for them to research that I
don’t know anything about, they really do have the pleasure of sharing
new material with all of us.
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For instance, when we studied ancient Egypt, I assigned one child to

research the family life of ancient Egyptians. For another, I suggested he
research the afterlife beliefs of Egyptians. For the third, he reported
Oral Reports:
about how pyramids were made. After reading through a few library
• Mother assigns topic on
Monday
books and taking notes, we gathered in the family room on a Friday
morning and each one presented their findings. Delightful change of
• Child researches topic on
Internet, with library books or
pace. Great introduction into research.
Recap
with videos Tuesday through
Thursday.
• Child takes notes in any way • Kids become more confident in writing from scratch without help.
• Students can edit their own work on a superficial level. They can
that works for him/her.
find some of their spelling errors, punctuation mistakes and awk-
ward sentences.
• Child reports findings to fam-
ily on Friday.
• Students show a preference for either fiction or non-fiction when

they write. For now, it’s fine to indulge that preference.
• Fiction writing can be a vehicle for narrating history and science as
well as literature.
• Non-fiction writing is largely about learning research skills. Kids
should be aware that they aren’t contributing new ideas per se, but
that they are learning how to listen to and understand the ideas of
experts.
• Writing is still mostly interest-led with one or two “assignments”
created by Mom.
• This stage can last two-three years easily.
• Oral reporting is a wonderful tool to learn how to read, select infor-
mation, take notes and present ideas without the pressure of writing
it all up into a finalized report.
V. Eavesdropping on “The Great Conversation.”

I’ve given quite a bit of thought to this stage in the natural growth of
a writer. It’s the one that I have to explain the most carefully at my in-
person classes. What does it mean to Eavesdrop on the Great
Conversation?
As I explained in the Faltering Ownership phase, the Great
Conversation is one of the purposes of becoming a writer. Whether the
contribution any of us makes is notes in our family’s Creative Memories
scrapbooks for future generations, or a thesis for a Master’s degree in
nursing, we are adding insight and information to a family or field we
love. Whether we write a letter to an editor or articles that explore new
scientific frontiers, we are contributing our voices to the world of ideas.
We record ideas and thoughts and memories and studies that will enable
future generations to know us and how we thought and lived.
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Writers in the Eavesdropping phase exhibit these character-

istics
• Writing goes beyond personal interests. The writer begins to discov-
er that there are entire worlds of study and research that span the
centuries.
• Writers focus on one idea/issue/historical theme and read about it
from multiple perspectives. Students should learn how to verbally
discuss the differences between multiple perspectives
• Students have an increased awareness of conflicting positions with-
in disciplines. Students make connections between historical peri-
ods, disciplines of study and trends.
Introduction of analysis
Kids start out as “non-members” of the Great Conversation. They
are eavesdropping—that is learning all they can from those who’ve gone
before them. In writing that means that the writer must cop to his sub-
ordinate position. The student writer is still learning the ropes and must
be humble. Writing that explores is preferred to writing that argues.
I’m unable at this time to give help to this stage of development
since most kids at this level are in high school. As I work on the sequel,
Help for High School, I’ll address in greater detail what kinds of writing
forms are most appropriate for this stage of development. For now, the
kinds of writing forms that fit into this level of growth are:
• First: The Exploratory Essay, the limited Research Paper, and
Exposition of Text
• Then: The Expository Essay, the Timed Essay Exam and the full-
fledged Research Paper.
Kinds of writing to read
• Non-fiction
• Academic—research papers with multiple sources
• Essays—open and closed form
• Journals/newspapers
• Advertisements
• Reviews of books, plays, movies, ballets, symphonies
• Editorials
• Brochures
• Fiction
• Plays/Screenplays (Shakespeare/Jane Austen)
• Movies
• Short Stories
165

• Novels (classic literature and modern writing)

• Poetry
Some real life writing ideas for • Blend (often called Creative Non-fiction)
• Diary/journal
older kids:
1. Write a letter to the editor of
a newspaper or magazine. Read • Biography
• Letters
the editorial sections of these
for several weeks. When you
VI. Fluency, Ownership, Contributor to the Great

respond emotionally either “yes”
Conversation
or “no,” write a letter in reply
and send it to the editor.
The final phase of growing into a writer is to become a confident
adult who writes without anxiety, using that skill in whatever field most
2. Correspond with a long dis-
tance friend. Choose a peer or suits his/her purposes. Some go on to become full-fledged members of
relative (even an older person). the Great Conversation—to become meaningful contributors to their
Email makes this so easy and field of specialization. Not everyone will become a part of his or her area
practical.
of expertise through writing. But some of our kids will. And we need to
prepare them to be able to make that choice if they want to.
3. Join a debate team or class. I Most of us will write for personal use as adults which means that
did more careful writing prepar- proficiency in writing is necessary for all of us—email, Christmas letters,
ing for my debates than I did
instructions, newsletters, photo albums, journals, business memos, pre-
for many of my high school
papers. Why? The pressure to sentations and so on.
Writers in this category are:
perform what I wrote increased
• Professional Writers (People paid for their words)

my interest in doing a good job
of research and organization. If
• Academics (People paid to write their research)

you don’t have a debate option
where you live (through public
• Competent, confident adults (People not afraid to write their words)
school part-time enrollment or
community classes) consider
starting one or look into home- Adults write at this level if they’ve had success in the previous phases
schooling co-ops where you
live.
of writing. If inappropriate criticism or inadequate training hasn’t hin-
dered the writer, he will find multiple places to use his writing skills—
paid or not.
The point of the previous outline of the phases of growth in writing
is to help you understand better where your child is en route to becom-
ing a competent and confident adult writer. Instead of figuring out grade
level, think about the next step toward more competency and proficiency.
Design a writing program for your child that is uniquely suited to him or
her. Choose from the myriad of writing manuals and aids that you
already have on hand. Be bold and create your own writing assignments
based on the ideas in this volume.
Whatever method you employ, tailor your assignments to suit the
stage your child is in to set him up for the most likely success. The fol-
lowing exercise will help you to evaluate where your child is on this scale
and to help you create suitable writing projects to move your young
writer along.
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Exercise for Mom:

To create a flexible and useful writing program that considers what
stage your child is in, use the following guide:
4. Write a screenplay for a
Goal Setting favorite work of fiction. Read
other screenplays first and the
There are three components to creating your school year language try your hand at writing one
arts program. Read through them and then answer the questions in each scene. I checked out from the
section as you feel they relate to your family. library Sense and Sensibility: the
Framework for goals:

Screenplay, by Emma
Thompson, complete with her
diary notes from the production
Vision: Before you think about the specifics, ask yourself what a rea- as a model. The screenplay for
sonable direction is for your child. Look over the Growing a Writer chart The Matrix can be found on the
and find where your student fits currently. Where do you hope he’ll be Internet, for example.
by the end of the year? It isn’t necessary to move up an entire category 5. Write ad copy. Advertising is
every year. Some kids need two and three years at one level before mov- a very popular field and requires
ing into the next one. a shrewd use of language.
Choose a product or create your
To start, you may want to target only one or two specific types of own and write an ad.
writing: mini reports and poems, for instance. Or you may want to create
a goal that has more to do with your role in the writing process rather
than the specific writing projects you will tackle together. For instance,
you might create a routine that allows you to be physically present and
involved during your writing times together but that slowly eases you out
of the picture. The vision might be that you will move from sitting next
to your child at the table as he writes, to the kitchen counter and eventu-
ally to the other room.
Let’s take an imaginary child as an example. Heidi is a Partnership
Writer right now. As you look ahead, you might think, “I want to see her
do one project without my needing to sit beside her the entire time—
first draft is hers.”
That’s a reasonable goal. And it may be that you won’t think of a
new goal until you see that one accomplished since it’s hard to know how
much of the school year it will take to get to that degree of self-confi-
dence and achievement. So you design some writing projects that still
cater to Heidi’s need to have you present, but you also let her in on your
plan—that you will lead her to writing more and more independently of
your help.
Make your transitions smooth. Don’t expect overnight achievements.
Taking the above example further, if your child enjoys having your input,
continue to offer it to her but perhaps alter the way you give it (verbally
from the kitchen sink, or two cue words that help her pick up where she
left off ). Or you may write notes for her to incorporate rather than your
sitting with her telling her what to do. You might then transition to giv-
ing input only on a second draft. Think about the vision first (what you
hope to see happen in her relationship to the writing process), then
brainstorm ideas for how to get there.
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Another example: Joseph is in the Jot it Down stage. I want to move

him to Partnership Writing stage. That’s the goal—vision.
Top Ten Principles for teaching To implement it, I’ll pick two items (kinds of assignments) to work
writing to kids: on that will help him move toward my goal for him. Until he can do
1. Talk with your kids a lot. those, I won’t add anything more challenging or new.
Listen to them, help them orga- So for instance—Joseph likes to tell me stories and I write them
nize and express their thoughts. down. To move him forward toward my goal, I ask Joseph to grow—I
Expect lots of verbal communi- ask him to copy what I’ve written for him. Next time I might ask him to
cation before expecting writing.
take a stab at writing three sentences in his journal without dictating to
2. Be sure that your kids have me. (During this process, I might continue to jot down other stories for
developed an intimacy with
their subject before they write. him since he loves this and is good at it.)
This comes from investigation I’d try these and stick with them until Joseph looked like he was
of the subject through the five thriving and capable of continuing before expecting a rough draft of a
senses, research, discussion, report from him without my help.
books and movies, and inter-
views. Passion: I’ve said many times that interest-led writing is the easiest
3. Allow for an incubation way to get kids focused on the work of writing. Start by finding out what
process (brooding). Let your they love or know lots about.
kids “crockpot” (or slow cook)
their ideas before they write.
There are a couple of ways to do this. Ask your child to freewrite a
list for ten minutes of everything she knows lots about. Talk with your
4. Use freewriting as the pri-
mary drafting tool. It gives kids
son and ask him what he loves to do and what he thinks about. Notice
the chance to write what they what your kids spend the most time fantasizing about, reading, sharing
know without the limitations of and pretending. (Note: anything goes on the list—include Nintendo,
spelling, grammar and punctua- electric guitars, snails, hair dye and wood-whittling).
tion.
Keep these lists. Add to them the areas that you are ‘passionate’
5. Expect kids between 8 and about for school this year. (In other words, the areas of study you’d like to
12 to write poorly. They have
terrible spelling, don’t under-
see stick—usually in science, literature or history). Add these to the list
stand what makes a complete of passions.
sentence and often have under- Then when you’re crafting a particular writing project, you can
developed ideas and images to peruse the list for ideas to spark your child’s interest.
go with them. Don’t be sur-
prised; be supportive. Discipline: The cultivation of good habits in writing is essential to
getting beyond the “inspiration or I won’t write” syndrome. Though I
don’t believe in requiring “generative” writing every day (“starting from
scratch” kind of writing), I do believe in interaction with writing every
day—such as dictation, copywork, editing a work in progress, doing an
exercise or reading a book. (Chapter 7)
Think about how you might encourage a language arts routine that
will help your kids to settle down to know it’s time to write (whatever
that means for that day). For example, does your 13-year-old need total
quiet without toddlers distracting her? Does your ten-year-old need you
to sit by him while he works? Does it help to have you type while he dic-
tates? What times of day work best for each child? (Some do best getting
it out of the way first thing—others need a good lunch and a jump on
the trampoline before writing...)
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The right writing materials also support the writing process. Handy
pencils and sharpeners. Clean paper that is unwrinkled, unless of course,
it’s a freewrite in which case the paper can be wrinkled scratch paper. A
clear desk (of clutter) but filled with resources—like a globe, map, book 6. Rewriting is the key to good
with facts, notecards, lists of words... that kind of thing. And then fol- results. Narrow the focus—
low-through. That’s what I mean by discipline. Don’t think about writ- expand the writing.
ing—write. 7. Fixing mechanical mistakes

should be “no big deal.” The
Be sure to decide in advance which writing projects will be brought
student makes the changes he
to completion—all the way through the writing process to finding read- sees first, then the mom “mops
ers. If you decide this in advance, you’re more likely to push through that up” the remaining problems
middle phase of writing where you and your child lose heart and want to with little comment or notice.
quit. 8. Kids are persons first, stu-
Categories for writing

dents second. Remember to
affirm any glimmer of idea,
Exercises
original thought, complex relat-
Exercises include the following examples: any of the exercises in

ing or creative expression. Look
this course (Communication Game, Keen Observation, Freewriting,

for the silver thread in the
Listing, Topic Funneling, Narrow and Expand exercise), and any

burlap of their writing and
exercises that you encounter in the curricula you already own.

praise it to high heaven.
Products
9. Require writing but not
Products include: reports, essays, paragraphs, research papers,

every day. When you do write,
poems, letters, stories, novellas, articles, journal entries, mini

put other subjects on hold to
reports, descriptions, book reports, and so on.

give enough time and focus to
the writing process. Keep look-
ing for the clues to what will
By separating writing into these two categories, you can gauge how unblock your stuck writer.
much time to allocate to any one writing project. Exercises don’t always 10. Above all, enjoy the interac-
need to be brought to completion. They are like exercising—a routine to tions with your kids. Notice
support skill acquisition. what interesting people they
Writing products assume that the original draft will be brought are. When they do finish a
writing project, celebrate.
through the whole writing process to completion. Naturally, these will
take more time than exercises. So expect to take time and do a bit each
week. Many of the ones listed in this chapter can be adequately complet-
ed in four to six week time slots.
Writing Products rely on two processes:

Drafting
Drafting is the process where words burst onto paper. Narrowing
and expanding that content is also a part of drafting. Any time the
child writes from scratch, he is drafting.
Crafting
Crafting is the process of wrestling the material down into a form.
When your child has lots of raw writing, that’s the time to think, “Is
this a better letter or short story?” If you’ve already decided up front
that this is going to be an essay, then the crafting stage is making
sure that the raw writing can be molded to fit the form. Sometimes
this means redistributing the raw writing into new segments like you
might with fabric swatches for a patchwork quilt.
169

Both activities (drafting and crafting) have certain rhythms and

needs. But essentially, drafting is a valid writing experience. To write sev-
eral versions of the same thing—to take a piece of the original and work
to fix it—to rewrite only the ending several days running—all of this
counts for writing. You don’t have to feel guilty for taking time to
improve the original draft as though your kids aren’t really writing unless
they start with blank paper.
Messing with the drafts is absolutely the most fun part of writing
(for kids who discover the joy of reader impact). To be able to take words
that are already on the page and play with them is far more enjoyable
than facing a brand new assignment.
Kids of different ages and skill levels will require different amounts
of support and time requirements to complete their work. That’s why it’s
so helpful if you think very truthfully about what your child can and can’t
handle.
Better to write four high quality products than pages of half-hearted
poorly executed writing.
All Writing Categories

The following list is my own brainstorming, freewriting session where
I tried to think of every conceivable way that writing gets used. See
if you can add to it.
• Novels
• Non-fiction books
• Magazine articles
• Lists
• Free expression—in journals, birthday cards, letters, email, posters
and scraps of paper
• Record of thoughts, memories, photos, and necessary information
• Stories
• Narration/summaries
• Diary/journal
• Letters
• Reports (scholastic, business, medical and others…)
• Essays
• Exploratory (Like freewriting or drafting)
• Argumentative
• Writing collages
• Narrative essays
• Research Papers—multiple source/academic investigation
170

• Poetry
• Limericks
• Sonnets
• Open form
• Blank Verse
• Pastoral
• Haiku (Don’t ask me why kids write these!)
• Newspaper articles
• Newsletter articles
• Christmas letters
• Screenplays
• Plays
• Advertisements
• Slogans
• Mission statements
• Debates/speeches
• Speaking notes
• Sermons
• Bible Studies
• Mini-reports
• Commentaries
• Outlines
• Cookbook recipes
• Thank you notes
• Brochures
• Shopping lists
• Email
• Internet forums
• Instructions
• Employment applications
• College entrance essays
• Scholarship essays
• Cartoons
• Comic strips
• Editorials
• Speeches
171

• Programs for performances

• Reviews (movies, books, plays)
• Business descriptions
• Homeschool portfolio assessments
• Eulogies
• Letters to the Editor
• Home Owner Guidelines
• Letters to Congress
• Scrapbook entries
• Referrals
• Song Lyrics
See the Appendix 1 for sample schedules from each of the stages of
growth in writing. You may want to take some time to create one of your
own for your kids.
172

Chapter 15
The Dreaded Elementary Report

Report Writing and Book Reports
an a report about Saturn actually be interesting to read and write?

C This is an excellent question. So many of them aren’t. That is pre-
cisely why I hate the “rites of passage” for academic writing.
I remember writing a report about Queen Elizabeth in fourth grade.
I used our World Book encyclopedia all by myself and labored over that
report for several evenings. I wrote the final copy on plain white paper I love deadlines. I like the
without lines because I thought it looked prettier. I inserted it into a red whooshing sound they make as
they fly by.
report binder. Proudly, I turned it in.
One week later, it was returned to me with a big fat “C” on the cover. —Douglas Adams
I was stunned. I had enjoyed the process of writing that report. I learned
something about Queen Elizabeth and I produced what I thought had
been a carefully written report.
Guess what? It was boring, it lacked my own voice (mostly parroted
from the World Book) and it was very short. I decided that day that I
hated reports.
Many of you, like me, can’t bear the thought of revisiting the gruel-
ing, tedious and unrewarding work of our days in English class. We try
to avoid the whole experience altogether by assigning “reports” to our
kids and then leaving them on their own to do them. Often the effort is
started and never finished, or we drag out the process for an interminable
length of time. Or, if we are even more disillusioned, we disregard reports
altogether.
As a homeschooling mother deeply engaged in teaching my own kids
to write, I decided there had to be a better way. We redefined the goals
of reports and have discovered that they can be written in such a way
173

CHAPTER 15 THE DREADED ELEMENTARY REPORT
that they do pass the boredom test. They can be interesting to write and
read.
Report writing is ninety per- What a report is not
cent research and ten percent
The elementary school report is not an exercise in great writing. It
writing.
—jb doesn’t have as its goal creativity and metaphor and flights of imagina-
tion. The report is not important in the broadest sense. In fact, if your
child never did one, don’t panic. You can teach all the skill that this rite
of passage attempts to teach… later. You’ll have ample opportunity to
teach and reteach researching skills, how to write a bibliography and
library use.
So why do it?
The point of introducing the report format is to help your kids get a
handle on how to research a topic thoroughly and how to organize what
is found. That’s it. Of course there may be a secondary goal of actually
teaching your child about the state, planet, movie star or sports figure.
But in almost every case, a little reflection immediately reveals that any
state, planet or celebrity would have done just as well. That realized, you
can admit to your kids that they are using the topic to teach them skills
they will use for the rest of their academic lives.
Once you face this truth, you can relax a little bit. Don’t worry quite
so much about whether they really know lots about Pakistan. Pay less
attention to how perfectly they make transitions in the paper. If the con-
tents fluctuate between confident voice and parroting, that’s normal for
elementary aged kids.
So how do you know they did a good job? Well, if your students
looked up their books on the computer at the library and found them in
the stacks with little help from you, if they wrote notes on notecards and
sorted them according to category, if they found ways to include the
noted information in their paper and remembered to cite their sources,
and finally if they wrote up a readable report and accurate bibliography,
you can say with confidence, “Well done, good and faithful student. Your
report fulfills mother’s requirements.”
There are two points to remember as you begin the odyssey of
preparing your child for a school life of academic writing.
Voice
It takes many years for a child to develop his or her voice as a writer.
In other words, most writing ends up being paraphrased regurgitation of
the brilliance of others. Don’t expect voice; cultivate it. Notice the unique
observations that your child makes. Compliment him on his word choice
or his interesting order of fact presentation. Find one or two evidences
that the report transcends that dull and lifeless construction so common
to report writing. You’ll be surprised at the fragments of emerging voice.
Enjoy them.
174

Original Thinking
No one under twenty-five thinks an original thought about anything
previously studied. Don’t let your kids pretend to. Give credit and use the
Steps for writing the Dreaded
thoughts of others to boost your child’s viewpoint.
Elementary Report:
Don’t be bashful about telling your kids this either. When I was at
1. Research the topic.
UCLA for my undergraduate degree in history, I had a controversial pro-
fessor for my upper division lecture on twentieth century American his- 2. Select and organize the
information.
tory. He began the class telling us that he couldn’t be bothered getting us
to write papers. He didn’t care about what we had to say. He also told us 3. Create interest in an other-
wise redundant and inane sub-
that the midterm was optional and that he didn’t like giving one at all ject.
but yielded to the pressure of students who demanded it. He preferred to
4. Include background informa-
give us a final and leave our grades to that last chance effort. tion, other people’s opinions
His reasoning for this strange approach to college education? and the facts.
Professor Dallek didn’t believe that we latter day teens could contribute To make your report stand out:
to the ongoing discussions in the university community. He reminded us
1. Create a clever thesis.
that the university is a place of serious study and dialog among well-edu-
cated peers. Undergraduates were not yet privy to membership in that 2. Lead with an opening hook.
club. We needed to sit, ponder, listen to, read and absorb what we were 3. Take a viewpoint.
being taught and should not be required to produce writing that would 4. Include the many interesting
be hypocritical and pompous based on material with which we had only and little known facts about
formed a shallow acquaintance. your topic.
Our young kids are even more ill-equipped to contribute new find-
ings. Teach your kids to be humble. Their grammar school years are
meant to prepare them to ultimately enter into a field of study where
they will be qualified to make a contribution. In order to do so effective-
ly, they will need some tools in their hip pockets.
That’s what report writing is all about. That’s why your children
must master the expository essay in high school. That’s why they must
make writing their ally instead of their enemy. We want to be able to get
at the profound insights and beliefs of our kids when they finally do have
something to say (Which often isn’t until around 35 years of age).
So, without further ado, here is a guide to help you through the
swamps of report writing with your kids.
The Dreaded Report

Objectives of a decent report by a school aged child
Research a topic
Clearly the chief goal is to give a child the opportunity to look a lot
of stuff up. Reference books, library computer catalogs, library books,
textbooks, novels, Internet sites and magazine articles are the usual fare.
Since this is the chief goal, focus on and enjoy this aspect of the
report!
For those of you who are a bit rusty in the library department (feel
nervous twitches trying to remember how to use microfiche, for exam-
175

ple), most libraries are willing to set up an introductory class to users.

Ask two or three other families to join you and then set up a special time
with one of your librarians. No need to go it alone.
If you have a university in your town, it’s a wonderful treat to take
your junior high student to a real library. The amount of information
available at local public libraries pales by contrast.
Select and organize information
Secondly, kids need to know what is material and immaterial to their
topics. The selection process is the beginning of analytical thinking. To
determine what’s important to the paper and what’s not, your young
reporter should gather more data than is necessary. Check out five to ten
books on the subject. If the subject does not have many books available
to read, choose a new topic. At this stage in your student’s development,
it’s very unhelpful to select a subject that has limited information avail-
able.
As he reads the books, use notecards (the spiral bound kind are nice
since they don’t get lost) to record information as he reads it. One bit of
information per card. And don’t forget to note the author and page num-
ber on the card as he notes the information. This will save untold effort
later.
Once he has written on numbers of cards, it’s helpful to put them in
some kind of filing system. Stationary stores carry notecard boxes that
are for filing. File your information according to subject matter. (It must
be torn out of the spiral binding at this point). For example, if your child
is writing about France, your subject headings may be:
• Geographic features
• Culture
• Important historical events
• National pastimes
• Miscellaneous
Sort and file your cards accordingly. The last category is really impor-
tant. So many times I have worked on a paper with certain presupposi-
tions only to discover some wonderful bits of information that don’t fit
my predetermined plan. When that occurs, it’s irritating to have nowhere
to put the card. The miscellaneous category holds these until your stu-
dent can decide what to do with them
When my son wrote his state report about Maine, he came across
funny names of cities, the fifty billion toothpicks that are produced there
and the fact that the largest crystal of morganite was found in Maine.
Here’s how Noah chose to use these seemingly unrelated facts in his
report:
176

What state makes fifty billion toothpicks a year? What state has town
names like Baldhead, Christmas Cove, Robinhood, Owl’s Head, and
Bingo? The largest morganite crystal was found in what state in
1989? Maine!
Instead of weaving these into the body, he started with the most
interesting discoveries he made while researching Maine. These act as
the opening hook and also tell us something about Maine (hopefully
things you, the reader, had not known before Noah’s paper).
These same facts did not fit in well with his other categories, but he
still found a way to use them.
The high school research paper uses a similar, though a bit more
sophisticated, notecard system for research. If you teach your upper ele-
mentary and junior high students how to research, note and file in this
manner, the leap to a high school research paper will be much smaller
and the process will feel familiar.
Create interest in an otherwise redundant and inane subject
This is my own goal, but I wish it were the goal of more reports.
Help your child develop his voice by engaging his sense of discretion.
What about this topic or subject is provocative?
Here are some key questions to ask your son or daughter:
• What grosses you out about this subject?
• Or makes you mad, sad or glad?
• What surprised you?
• Did anything give you chills?
• What little known facts did you discover?
• What do you want to tell Dad about your subject when he gets
home tonight?
• Why would anyone else want to study this subject?
The stuff that has to go in them

Background information
This is the information that most people either know or could easily
find out. The background info puts your subject into a context. For
example, “Maine is a member of the continental United States in the
northeast corner... blah, blah, blah...”
Other people’s opinions
This is what we call “source material.” Include the quotations and
thoughts of others who know more about your subject than you do. The
ratio of paraphrases to quotes should be about four paraphrases to one
quotation in any paper. For this age group, though, one or two quotations
for the entire paper is plenty.
177

The Report Party— The Facts

Since my kids enjoy parties This is the information that explains the topic or subject. For exam-
more than reports, I decided to ple, if I’m talking about the planet Saturn, it is helpful to put the dis-
capitalize on this natural incli- tance it is from the sun, how long its days are, how many moons it has
nation. When I want my kids to
and why it has that funny looking ring around it.
really learn about a certain his-
torical period, we throw a party For the typical facts that all reports require but are amazingly diffi-
for their friends. In order to cult to put into sentence form, try using a sidebar. Countries and states
have a party that follows the have mottoes, birds, animals, flags, capitals, flowers and trees. These don’t
theme, the kids have to do all
need to be paraded in long redundant sentences. They can be neatly
kinds of research for it. The fol-
lowing two parties then became written in a sidebar to give both information and visual relief to the
reports. reader. The student demonstrates too that she looked up these bits of
info, which is the chief goal anyway.
The California Gold Rush The Fun stuff: what to do to make reports stand out
Create a clever thesis
Noah (then 11) threw a Gold
Rush party. He set up a sand pit
with fool’s gold buried in it. He A good thesis answers a burning question. “Describe life in the fron-
created a store where the kids tier” is not a good topic. “How did the early settlers overcome the harsh
could weigh their gold in winters in the frontier?” is a better one. This format is good for those
exchange for pennies and then
papers that are meant to assert an opinion. In most elementary school
purchase root beer or licorice.
They played “Pin the nugget on reports, the primary objective is to profile, rather than to argue.
Sutter’s Creek.” They ate franks When writing about a general subject like a country or world reli-
and beans and sang camp songs. gion, use the topic funnel (Chapter 6) to narrow the focus before starting
As each child arrived, Noah
to write. You must begin your research, however, without a clear direc-
handed out identity cards—
notecards with the names and tion. Only after reading lots of books and articles and watching interest-
descriptions of the famous peo- ing movies will you have an idea of how to narrow your focus. Start with
ple from that period. research, narrow your focus and then write. (For instance, sometimes it’s
easier for a student to focus on Buddhism in one country rather than the
India scope of Buddhism around the world throughout all of history. See what
Johannah (then 10) threw an
I mean?)
Indian party for her girlfriends. It’s helpful to think of the report as a profile rather than as a research
She put posters around the paper. A profile does not make an assertion that can be proven (as in the
house with little-known Indian above example about frontier life). Instead, the profile attempts to select
facts, she created several Indian
crafts to do with her friends,
the essential elements of the topic and to present them in an orderly way.
and she prepared an Indian That is what most elementary reports are all about.
Develop a great hook
meal to share. They also played
Indian games, dressed up in
Saris, drew henna designs on Again, the opening gets your reader’s attention and makes the dri-
their hands and played “Pin the ving force of your paper clear. Does yours? There are lots of tricks for
Bathing Woman on the Ganges writing good leads. The lead makes the reader want to keep reading.
River.”
Later she took all her notes and • Questions
wrote it up into an elementary
• Interesting quotes
report.
• Anecdotes (a short human interest story related to the topic)
Try it; you’ll like it.
• Powerful descriptions
• Unusual facts
178

Integrate the thoughts of others and give them credit: Spruce up your report by taking
Too often, young writers try to pass off the words of the books they a viewpoint:
read as their own, or they “borrow” the expressions of their resource writ- • reporter
ers and forget to cite. All teachers, professors and decent parents can rec- • travel guide
ognize when the child stops speaking and the bookish authority begins. • naturalist
Kids are insecure in their abilities to hold forth on topics they know little
about. On the other hand, they are afraid that if they give credit to the
authors they use, they will not be writing the paper.
Don’t let this happen. It’s perfectly all right—in fact it’s good writ-
ing—to use an authority. The goal is to make the authority say what you
want to say.
Take a viewpoint
When writing about a state or country, it can be helpful for your kids
to think of themselves as reporters, travel guides or naturalists. For exam-
ple, if Jessica decides to write about Colorado as a naturalist, her empha-
sis in research will be on the wildlife, the mountains and their special
features, the environment, the weather and the times of year when other
naturalists might visit.
As a reporter, she might focus on the state of the economy, the gross
annual product, celebrities that live there, famous law cases (like Jon
Benet Ramsey and the Columbine High School shooting), the trend of
Christian companies to relocate to Colorado springs, and so forth.
As a travel agent, she might emphasize the places of interest, the
types of sports that are available to tourists, sites of historic importance
to visit and so on.
The point here is that taking a position will help your student to
select information. Most of writing for the rest of life is about informa-
tion selection based on the purpose of the paper.
Have fun and include the many truly unique or interesting facts that
there are about your topic:
It’s interesting that thousands of people died and were buried while
building the Great Wall of China. It’s interesting that snails are her-
maphrodites—neither male nor female, but both. Don’t forget these
kinds of details.
By the same token, ignore the boring and uninspiring aspects of your
topic. Most people won’t notice if you leave out the rainfall averages in
Montana. The fact that wood is the major resource in Maine is a lot less
interesting than the fact that Maine produces fifty billion toothpicks per
year. Who really cares how the state legislature is run in Idaho?
However, if Idaho had an interesting bill that got held up in the legisla-
ture, I might be interested... Get it?
A Word about report length

Much has been said about how many pages reports should be.
Parents, kids and teachers boast about the ten, twelve and fourteen pages
179

their kids churn out at the end of the school year in report form.
Let me comfort those of you who can’t get your kids to write even
three paragraphs without threatening to take away their Nintendo for six
weeks. Length in a report is not critical. Repeat: success is not deter-
mined by the length of the report.
I identify success by how well the child researched his topic, took
notes, organized them and finally wrote out his findings. My son’s first
report in fifth grade took an entire school year to research and write and
the final paper was one typewritten page in length. It was single spaced,
but we had two pictures on it and a sidebar listing the state bird, motto,
flower, tree and other details.
When he turned it in to a homeschooling class where each child had
written a report, his was by far the thinnest. Yet in the reading, it was
among the most engaging. He received quite a bit of praise and I was
completely satisfied with his results.
The point isn’t to write a short paper either. If your daughter is flying
through the pages, is engaged and enjoying the work, don’t stop her, for
heaven’s sake. The point is that writing at this level is not about length
nearly as much as it is about demonstrating certain skills. The skills that
I have determined to be the most valuable are those relating to research,
notation and organization. So that’s what I look for and that’s what I
focus on. I save other goals for other projects. You can too.
Lastly, remember my motto: If you’re bored reading it, your kid was
bored writing it!
Or as one of my young students transposed this sentiment to apply
to himself, “If I’m bored writing it, mom’ll be bored reading it.” Indeed.
A Word about book reports

I’m often asked about whether book reports are beneficial and neces-
sary. I’ve vacillated between the two extremes. On the one hand, there is
something to be said for the discipline of noticing the characters, setting,
who wrote the book and plot form (man vs. man, or man vs. alien, and
so on). Still, it’s so irritating to have to crank out dusty book reports.
Don’t you remember dreading them?
I ask our kids to do a lot of “book reporting” orally. I ask questions
that reveal to me that my kids took note of the details above. What I
require in writing is less frequent and more pointed. Here are some ideas
I have actually used with my own kids.
• A written narration of the story (to see if my kids can reduce the
story to its essential elements without rewriting the entire book).
• A favorite quotation from the book. Explain why that quote is
meaningful.
• A lengthy section for copywork or dictation.
• Answer a question about the book. When my 7th grader read the
180

Harry Potter books, I asked him to defend why he thought other

Christian kids should be allowed to read them. He wrote a short
paper explaining his views.
• Write a journal entry as the main character, or write what happens
after the final pages of the book, or write another adventure for
some of the characters.
• Write letters as members of the book. My kids imagined them-
selves to be part of a ship’s crew from the book Born in the Year of
Courage and wrote letters home describing life on the boat.
• Instead of a report, write a review. As a 7th grader, I illustrated and
wrote a book jacket for a novel I read. The front flap told the story.
The back flap told about the author. The back of the cover gave
reviews. I made up various personalities to be the reviewers.
• Write a slogan on a poster to advertise the book. When our kids
did this, I was amazed at the results. We hung them on the wall for
a long time. Now that was fun!
• Draw cartoons to retell a book’s events or make dioramas (such a
schoolish activity).
The point isn’t to make more work for you. Instead, it’s to get out of
the report rut. One or two well-crafted sentences are far better than
reams of average writing. Look for ways to get feedback about the book
without always requiring the book report format.
Sample Elementary School Report

By Noah Bogart (5th grade)
What state makes 50 billion toothpicks a year? What state has town
names like Bald head, Christmas Cove, Robinhood, Owl’s head, and
Bingo? The largest crystal of morganite was found in what state in 1989?
Maine!
Those were some little known facts about Maine. Here are some well
known facts.
Maine is famous for lobsters, clams, and blueberries. Its capital is
Augusta. Augusta has been the capital since 1832. Portland was the capi-
tal before Augusta. The state motto is “Dirigo” which translated means “I
Lead.” Nicknames like “Down East” and “The Pine Tree State” are what
Mainers sometimes call their state.
Farming is a big part of the economy in Maine. Many farmers plant
potatoes one year and oats the next. That’s because potatoes use up much
of the soil’s nutrients and oats put nutrients back into the soil.
Alternating these two crops helps keep the soil fertile.
Matinicus Rock Light is a famous lighthouse because of a little girl
who ran the lighthouse for four weeks while her mother was sick in bed
and her father was away getting supplies in town. Her name was Abbie
181

Burgess. This lighthouse is found on one of the nearly 2,000 islands off
the coast.
Three famous writers are from Maine. Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow is well-known for his poems. One of his most famous poems
was “Paul Revere’s Ride.” Another writer is Stephen King. Stephen King
writes horror stories and some of his stories became movies. Harriet
Beecher Stowe is probably the most famous writer. She wrote Uncle
Tom’s Cabin, the book that created bad feelings toward slavery. This
book pushed the country toward the Civil War.
Great wildlife and forests can be found in the more than twenty-five
national parks. Acadia National Park is the only one on the eastern
seaboard. Moose, black bears, bobcats, lynxes, and coyotes live there.
“Tall mountains tower and stretch over Maine’s middle and western
parts.” (From Sea to Shining Sea, 8) More than 100 peaks rise at least
3,000 feet above sea level. Mount Katahdin is its tallest peak. It rises
5,267 feet above sea level.
The 6,000 ponds help keep the wildlife alive. Maine also has 32,000
miles of rivers and streams. The Androscoggin, Kennebec, Penobscot
and St. Croix rivers were used in the early days of Maine for trade.
Today fishing and hunting are very popular year round.
It’s no wonder people from all over America (maybe even the world)
come to see Maine’s lush green forests, hike it’s high mountains, swim in
its salty ocean, and eat its delicious lobsters, clams and blueberries.
Sidebar
State Song: “State of Maine Song” by Roger Vinton Snow
State Seal: Adopted in 1820
State Flag: Adopted in 1909
State flower: White Pine Cone and tassel
State bird: Chickadee
State tree: White Pine
State animal: Moose
State cat: Maine Coon Cat
State fish: Landlocked Salmon
182

Chapter 16
The Heart of Writing

Why We Do What We Do
ike always, on the day of my speaking engagement for the citywide

L homeschool meeting, I was harried. Dinner sat in the crockpot as I
frantically dug through my drawers for a pair of stockings without holes.
It’s enough for you to do it
once for a few men to remem-
ber you. But if you do it year
after year, then many people
Out the window, the mailman caught my eye so I raced to the mailbox
remember you and they tell it
and then back to the house. Thumbing through the stack of junk mail, to their children, and their chil-
my eye tripped on the California address of family friends. They’d not dren and grandchildren remem-
written to us since our move to Ohio and it wasn’t Christmas so I knew ber and, if it concerns books,
they can read them. And if it’s
something was amiss. I also knew that their oldest son had had leukemia
good enough, it will last as long
when we’d lived in California a year before. as there are human beings.
I ripped open the envelope and discovered to my shock and sadness
—source unknown
that indeed, their 18-year-old son, Peter, had passed away just a couple of
weeks before. The letter detailed all the final events before he died. I read
it anxiously through tears. Then something Peter’s mother, Cathy, wrote
jumped off the page.
Peter had kept a diary. He’d done so for the last couple of years of his
life. After he died, his parents found it and were blown away by the
vibrant spiritual life their son described in that little notebook. They
quoted him and explained how incredibly happy they were to have this
concrete representation of their son. It meant more than photos. More
than videos. The private person that was their son is still alive in that
slim volume.
My whirlwind slowed to a stop. The coming talk about writing took
a turn. I saw in an instant that we weren’t just helping our kids get to
college. We’re giving our children a means of expression that transcends
them. Imagine if Cathy, a homeschooling mother, hadn’t taught Peter to
write? Wouldn’t their family be poorer in grief because of it?
183

CHAPTER 16 THE HEART OF WRITING
If Peter hadn’t discovered the value of writing, his parents wouldn’t

have the treasure of his journals and written prayers to sustain them now
that he’s gone. His writing stands in the gap… helps to fill the huge gap-
ing hole he left in their hearts. And his writing is now a part of their
“family conversation”—a message that will outlive him and bring comfort
and insight to each family member for years to come.
Will you discover the true riches of writing? Can you stop gazing at
scopes and sequences long enough to look into the hearts and minds of
your sons and daughters to prize what’s there? Can you coax those pre-
cious thoughts to come forth so that we can preserve and enjoy them for
years to come?
This is serious stuff. Writing isn’t about getting passing grades. It’s
about the joy of self-expression in written form. When we give our chil-
dren the gift of writing—the gift of enjoyment in writing—we give them
the opportunity to preserve their persons. Are you up to it? I hope so. I
hope I’ve made it a bit easier to catch that vision.
Yes, it’s a jungle in there—your kids are complex, passionate people.
But they’re also beautiful. I pray you find that beauty inside each of your
children that’s waiting to be discovered... and written down.
184

Chapter 17
A Challenge for Moms

A Personal Trainer Reading List
ow that you’ve finished this course and are beginning to think dif-
N ferently about teaching your kids to write, I have an assignment for
you. Many of us entered homeschooling with a sincere desire to give our
children a better education than could be had in the public schools. We
didn’t anticipate one of the greatest benefits of home teaching: self-edu-
cation. Isn’t it amazing to think that we spent twelve years in grammar
school and still feel as though we are learning about world history, frac-
tions and basic biology for the first time?
In the same way that you’ve begun to fill in the gaps of your own We cannot get away from the
education in other subjects, you can do the same for yourself in the arena great books of the world,
because they preserve and inter-
of writing. pret the life of the world; they
There’s no reason why writing can’t become your friend and ally. are inexhaustible, because, being
Follow many of the steps to good writing in this book (particularly the vitally conceived, they need the
free-writing exercises) and make opportunities for writing in your life. commentary of that wide expe-
rience which we call history to
Beyond these obvious ideas, I want to recommend that you become a bring out the full meaning of
reader. I know many of you feel like reading is the last luxury you can the text; they are our perceptual
afford (with nursing babies, toddlers that follow you into the bathroom teachers, because they are the
and older kids who see you as the taxi service for all their activities). I most complete expressions, in
that concrete form which we
want to stand that thought on its head and say, “You can’t afford not to call art, of the thoughts, acts,
read.” dispositions, and passions of
Reading as an adult is unparalleled in pleasure. If you remember humanity.
being a child who found the books assigned in English class to be com- —Hamilton Wright
plicated and unrewarding, you’ll be amazed to discover that many of Books and Culture
those same works now are not only easier to understand, but provide
wonderful entertainment and insight. You’re in your adult years and have
185

CHAPTER 17 A CHALLENGE FOR MOMS
matured. Those books read with much greater impact than they did
when you were a pimply faced adolescent.
As you spend time reading good literature, or books that stir you,
All good books are alike in that you’ll enrich your sense of good writing, your insight into literary ele-
they are truer than if they had ments, your sensitivity to the universal questions and themes that authors
really happened and after you
raise, and you’ll become an interesting person.
are finished reading one you
will feel that all that happened The benefits to your children are also great (I know that’s usually the
to you and afterwards it all motivation that works best for homeschooling mothers). If you read
belongs to you; the good and widely and well, your kids will have a living model of what it is to be a
the bad, the ecstasy, the
life-long learner. They’ll look forward to reading what’s beyond their
remorse, and sorrow, the people
and the places and how the reach now as kids. They’ll hear you making allusions and comparisons
weather was. when you discuss with them their current field of study.
—source unknown Your kids benefit in other ways too. As a person who commits to
reading for pleasure, your ability to steer your children’s writing will
grow. You’ll have models before you (rather than that feeling of “How do
I know if he’s writing well?”). You’ll see different kinds of writing and
those forms will teach you what to teach.
So far, this chapter feels very theoretical to me. How can a pregnant
mother with a nursing toddler and three older kids find time to read a
soccer brochure let alone an entire novel by Hemingway? Great question.
1. Start small. Read short stories. I started with Eudora Welty and
Ernest Hemingway. Others strongly favor Flannery O’Connor. There is a
series called the Greatest American Short Stories of each year (2000, 1999,
1998, 1997 and so forth). These are excellent books for reading contem-
porary works. I also like to find short stories in old high school English
text books. Sometimes you can find these at garage sales or as discards
from local high schools when they are upgrading their curricula. If you
are intimidated by the famous writers of other centuries, feel free to start
with those modern story compendiums such as the Chicken Soup series.
The point is to start reading.
2. Keep a book in your purse or car. So often we are caught in the
dentist’s waiting room, the doctor’s office or at soccer practice with noth-
ing to do but chat. Chatting is good, but it isn’t necessary at every set-
ting. Allocate some of those waiting times to reading. If you have a book
going and you’re carrying it with you, you’re more likely to read it in
snatches of time than waiting for long undistracted sessions.
3. Read the entire first chapter in one sitting. Many books go
unread because we don’t get into them sufficiently to hook us. Most of
reading is a trick on the part of the author. Once the author has set the
course of the book, she tries to keep you interested by creating surprises
and suspense that ultimately can not be resolved until you have done
with the book. As a result, once we’re hooked, we create opportunities to
read because we simply must know what will happen next.
186

Still, the hardest chapter of any new book is the first one. The author
has to lay down the tracks for the rest of the story and that usually means
background information. Chapter two is always an improvement on
chapter one, so stick with it all the way through one chapter so that you Learn as much by writing as by
get a clear picture of what the book is going to be about. That way you reading.
won’t keep wondering, Who is the main character again? And where are —Lord Acton
we?
4. Listen to books on tape. For those who find the act of reading to
be tedious or difficult, or for those who never sit down, yet still want to
read, books on tape are the answer. I have “read” more books making
dinner than I can in a chair. I pop the tape into my little cassette recorder
on the kitchen counter and listen to Jane Austen being read aloud to me.
The readers change voices for the various characters and are wonderful at
acting out emotions and attitudes. Making dinner has become an oasis of
peace to me since I can escape the day’s pressures by occupying my hands
and nourishing my mind with a book. Libraries are the best source of
books on tape since they are free. Driving with a book is also completely
wonderful.
5. Read with a friend. The worst thing about reading a good book is
that you read it alone and then have no one to talk to about it afterward.
You can fix this problem. Ask someone to read with you. A group of my
friends in California met monthly to talk about books. We didn’t have a
particular agenda, but we loved discussing what we had been reading.
I also have a friend on the Internet that reads with me. We suggest a
book or story and then read it. We can write back and forth about what
we’ve learned or what touched, inspired or horrified us.
My husband and I have read countless books aloud to each other. I
know other couples do the same. By reading right before bed, we get the
same benefit as watching a video, but instead we are reading. Try it;
you’ll like it. Women are incredibly social creatures and reading appears
solitary. It doesn’t have to be.
6. Read what interests you. Sometimes I fall into the trap of trying
to “re-educate” myself by setting up school-ish expectations. (“I must
read The Odyssey because it’s a classic, and I’ve never read it.”) There’s
nothing wrong with attempting challenging books, but I’m finding that I
don’t have time to press into books that don’t engage my interest. That
season may come after my kids are grown. For now, I like to let one book
lead me to the next. Sometimes I’ll be reading a work by one author (let’s
say C.S. Lewis) who will mention another writer (George MacDonald)
and that will send me to the library in search of that writer. And so it
goes.
I believe in allowing books to lead to books. Take off the shackles of
school-style learning and follow your interests. Suddenly, at some point,
187

you’ll have a list of more books to enjoy than you can possibly read in a
lifetime.
7. Read both fiction and non-fiction. Don’t feel obligated to read all
I didn’t know how much I
of the great classic works of fiction if you are in a period of learning
would enjoy freewriting. Once I
got going I couldn’t stop. It’s about physics or theology or gardening. Non-fiction is just as interesting
like someone opened a door for and useful for learning about writing as fiction. I like to read the newspa-
me into the world of writing. per lifestyle section, movie and play reviews and an editorial per week to
—Julie keep up with the modern non-fiction writing styles. I also enjoy non-fic-
tion books that cover a range of topics from art history to my prayer life.
How will reading affect your ability to teach writing? You’ll begin to
acquire a taste for the sound of words and the magic they make when
placed together well. You’ll also come to appreciate writing as an art
form, not simply a necessary duty in the schoolroom. And you’ll find that
good books elevate the value you put on good writing in the homeschool.
The subliminal message of reading quality writing is that writing is
important and transcendent—an art to be appreciated, valued and
learned.
Following is a “par course” for growing as a reader. I start you out
with some easy reading—the flat part of the course. Then I gradually get
you moving uphill and then to a steeper incline. Start where you feel
comfortable or scrap my suggestions altogether. The most important
thing to do, however, is to read.
At the end of this chapter, I’ve included a reading list compiled by
other homeschooling moms. Enjoy.
Some exercise for your writing muscles

We’ve talked quite a bit about reading, I want to encourage you to
write as well. As you read a book, write down what you read and who it
was by. Then jot down a short summary of either the story, what you got
out of it, an interesting quote, or a new insight into your life prompted
by that book. Keep it short. As you engage in the process of writing, your
observations will be keener and you’ll discover that you’re able to make
sense of great books.
I’ve a friend who has kept a book like this for ten years. I asked her
about it. She said, “My only regret is that I didn’t start this practice soon-
er. It is my most treasured possession.” She said that all she has to do is
to reread the summary comments to have the book brought instantly
back to her—a book she might have forgotten altogether.
I’ve begun that process feebly myself this year. I’m a chaotic tempera-
ment and find that I don’t always know where my comment-book is, or
forget to enter my thoughts just as I finish the book. So I’ve taken the
shackles off myself. I write in it when I remember and when the book
I’ve read inspires me to. Otherwise, I just jot down the name of the book
and author and leave it at that. I’ve also started my own copywork book
188

where I write out quotations from my favorite books. This practice is

invaluable, particularly for library books that I may never check out
again.
One of my friends keeps a sheet of 8 x 11 lined paper in the book
she reads. She uses it as a book mark. As she reads a passage that she
particularly likes, she jots down the quote. At the end of the book, she
inserts this page into a notebook that files these pages alphabetically by
book title. She told me that if her house were on fire, these notebooks
are the one possession she’d run for. Find a rhythm that works for you.
But please write something sometimes.
Parting thoughts
Teaching your kids to write is not a job that ever feels like it’s done.
Just as your fifth grader gains confidence in narrating a story, you’ll
immediately think to yourself, “But can he analyze the contents?” Right
when you seventh grader finishes his first long report, you’ll wonder if he
can write an expository essay.
These thoughts are normal. Here are some suggestions for getting
through them. Don’t forget to celebrate any writing milestone. The best
celebration I can think of is to read what was written, share it with
someone else (usually dad), and then take a break from writing.
Before you plunge forward into new writing territory, be sure that
you’re prepared with the proper guidelines, sufficient data for the coming
project and a good frame of mind. If you are resenting the new assign-
ment before you begin, that is a recipe for disaster in the homeschool.
Don’t be afraid to scale down to some easy writing tasks in between the
more challenging and intense ones.
Writing is an art form. It’s not an exact science. It’s the most won-
derful way to preserve the actual thoughts, ideas and impressions of your
homeschooled students, though, and I hope that you will find after using
this course, your writing journey becomes comfortable and pleasing.
189

Personal Trainer Book List

Welcome to the Personal Trainer approach to your literary education.
Lots of moms want to get back into reading but they don’t know where
to start. High school and college seem long ago and they have spent
years reading to kids. After talking about books with other moms who
enjoy the self-education process too, I have compiled a list of books that
are divided by levels.
So get that flabby intellect in shape. Grab a recliner, a good lamp
and a book that’s right for you. Then find a friend to talk about it with.
Level One: A walking program for the mind. These books are acces-
sible, easy to understand and are highly enjoyable.
Jan Karon (Mitford series; Starts with At Home in Mitford)
Francine Rivers The Atonement Child
Dorothy Gilman (Mrs. Pollifax series; Starts with The Amazing Mrs.
Pollifax)
George MacDonald (Michael Phillips translations)
Brock and Boedie Theone Zion Chronicles
Catherine Marshall Christy and Julie
Chaim Potok The Chosen
C.S. Lewis The Narnia Chronicles
Ellis Peters Brother Cadfael mystery series
Dorothy Sayers Lord Peter Wimsey series
Anne Tyler Ladder of Years and Accidental Tourist
Lucy Maud Montgomery, (esp. Anne of Green Gables and series)
Patricia St. John Treasures in the Snow, Star of Light, and her biog-
raphy, The Ordinary Faith of an Extraordinary Woman
Jane Austen can in fact get Harper Lee To Kill a Mockingbird

more drama out of morality M.M. Kaye (“Death in” series)
G.K. Chesterton
than most other writers can get
from shipwreck, battle, murder,
P.D. James (mysteries)

or mayhem.
—Ronald Blythe
Level Two: The walk and jog program. Some of these books are a bit
more of a stretch—they take some chewing and digesting, but are won-
derful with words.
Mary Webb Precious Bane
Andre Dumas The Three Muskateers
Jane Austen Pride and Prejudice, and then her other works
Charlotte Bronte Jane Eyre
190

E. M. Forster A Room with a View

Charles Dickens Oliver Twist and Great Expectations
J.R.R. Tolkein The Lord of the Rings trilogy
Leon Garfield Shakespeare stories as a warm up to the real thing in
level three. Read a story then watch the film version. Start with
Romeo and Juliet, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Much Ado About
Nothing, and Hamlet
Emily Bronte Wuthering Heights
Maya Angelou I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Flannery O’Connor short stories including “A Good Man is Hard to
Find”
Eudora Welty short stories, esp. “Why I Live at the P.O.”
C.S. Lewis Space Trilogy
Emily Dickinson poetry
Robert Frost poetry
Christina Rosetti poetry
Jane Kenyon poetry
Non-fiction:
Paul Tournier Adventure of Living
Thomas Moore The Care of the Soul
Edward Hirsch How to Read a Poem and Fall in Love with Poetry
Grace Llwelleyn The Teenage Liberation Handbook—This book will
help you to understand what it means to pursue your own education
in all new terms—even if the target audience is teens.
C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce, Surprised by Joy, Till We Have Faces
Deitrich Bonhoeffer Letters and Papers from Prison
Level Three: Weights, aerobics and running. Okay, these are tough
for me too. But after you are a bit more seasoned, you might enjoy read-
ing the classics. This list has good entertainment value but requires more
conscious thoughtfulness while reading.
Victor Hugo Les Miserables
Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales
Shakespeare in the original, esp. Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet and
Midsummer’s Night’s Dream
Homer Iliad and The Odyssey
Hemingway short stories “The Snows of Kilamanjaro”
191

Faulkner short stories “The Bear”

Solzhenitsyn novels
Tolstoy
Chekhov
Plato The Republic
Spencer The Faerie Queen
Beowulf Seamus Heaney’s translation
Level Other: (These are works that are well-written but may con-
tain objectionable elements such as language, violence or sexuality.)
James Clavell Asia series starting with Shogun
Martin Cruz Smith Gorky Park, Polar Star, Red Square, and Rose
M.M. Kaye Far Pavillions and Shadow of the Moon
192

Appendix I
Sample Language Arts Schedules

Schedule for Jot it Down phase
Language Arts:
• Read aloud from a novel or non-fiction work daily.
• Read poetry and nursery rhymes daily.
• Begin phonics instruction.
• Ask for some oral narrations of the stories you read together or the
information you learn about from non-fiction sources.
Writing:
• Jot down narrations once a week.
• Encourage your young storyteller or list maker to keep his thoughts
in a notebook or folder. He/she speaks—you write.
• For a child who writes, allow your student to copy over some of
his/her narrations in his/her own handwriting.
Writing Projects:
• Mini Books—
These are little books that you compose together. Select an area
that piques your child’s interest. You can make as many mini books
as your children have the inspiration to do! Usually that means more
at the beginning of the year than by the end.
• Spider Webs —study the various kinds of spider webs and then
using that web gauze sold at Halloween, make similar webs on
black paper. Bind these together and include descriptions of each
kind of web.
• Birthday book — When it’s your child’s birthday, take pictures that
tell the story of the day so that later the child can arrange them in
order and write or dictate captions for each photo.
• Party book— If your child’s birthday is not on the horizon, you can
organize a party for the purpose of making a book! Just invite a few
friends, pick a theme—like pirates or dinosaurs—and celebrate.
Take lots of pictures. Then develop the photos and put them in order
in a book. Let your child either write or dictate captions.
• Princess or prince—Pages include various princesses or princes
from fairy tales with a short caption for each one telling who she/he
193

APPENDIX I SAMPLE SCHEDULES
is and what they are known for. You can continue to make this book
over the course of an entire school year as you read fairy tales.
• Animal book—older kids enjoy "unusual animal facts" books.
Younger kids like to include all the facts about their animal of choice.
• Number book—Cut out pictures to demonstrate a numeral at the
top of each page.
• Copy a storybook—Sometimes it’s fun to take a book your child
loves (Goodnight Moon) and make your own version—can be identi-
cal but in the child’s own words and illustrations.
• Nature book—A traditional nature notebook (ala Charlotte Mason)
means that the child observes the environment near his home week-
ly or daily and records his/her observations. These can be drawings
or short captions or a record of the changing temperatures, or visit-
ing birds to the bird feeder. Or take pictures of one season and
encourage them to write one sentence under each photo. Do this
each season.
• Animal book—Choose an animal to enjoy and study. Then write a
page for each of the animal’s attributes.
• Phonics book—Some kids really enjoy learning the sounds one at
a time. These books include a page for each letter with cut out pic-
tures to illustrate the sound of the letter. In our home, it didn’t quite
work like this. We cut out pictures (randomly—mostly of animals)
and stuck them in any old order inside of a small booklet. I then
wrote in big outlined letters, the initial consonant sounds of each
animal. We didn’t cover the entire alphabet, but my kids stayed
much more interested in the phonetic system when they were relat-
ing the sounds to animals they knew and loved.
• My house book—Illustrate each room. Identify the number of win-
dows, doors, beds, and drawers in the dresser with numerals. Write
a caption to go with each room (for example, what is done in that
room, what they’d like to do in that room that isn’t allowed, what
they imagine happened in the room before living there…)
For kids who struggle to draw well, cut out photos out of magazines
and catalogs. These can be cut and applied to a handmade book
with paste.
• Letters
Dictated to mom while written via email or overland post.
Keen Observation
Do this exercise orally. I listed possible items to observe in the exer-
cise in Chapter 3. Choose an item that is easily observed with the
majority of the senses. Nature walks provide lots of opportunities to
encourage the habit of keenly observing.
Oral Narration
Look for narrations in the fullness of life. Don’t expect to drum them
out of your kids. Stay alert to occasions that lend themselves to narra-
tions (especially dinner time when dad is at home and can listen to a
rehash of the things the child learned or did during the day).
194

Schedule for Partnership Writing
Language Arts:
•Choose a routine for copywork and dictation that suits your stu-
dent’s needs. I recommend doing copywork some days and dicta-
tion others.
• Dictation ought to be offered once or twice weekly and not more
than three to five sentences at this stage of development.
• Continue to use handwriting books but alternate with copywork.
• Grammar should be introduced one year during the elementary
years (I recommend Grammar Songs).
Writing:
The following is a sample of one student’s writing assignments for
each month of the year (just as an idea to consider—vary according
to the studies/interests of your child).
September
Tongue Twisters and Limericks
One week--read and write some.
Keen Observation Exercise
Student doesn’t have to do anything but the observing. No need to
make it into a paragraph unless the student is motivated to do it.
Lists
Start notebook with lists of ideas for computer games, favorite web-
sites, books, Legos. Keep this going all year. As it grows, it will sup-
ply the student with material for writing too. (At our house, we used
tab dividers in notebooks so that my kids could keep track of birds,
poetry they wrote, weapons from WWII, books read and so on.)
October
Thank You Letter for Birthday
Emphasize one writing element in the letter. It’s especially pleasing
to the reader to read anecdotes about the gift that was given. Even
bits of dialog are also very entertaining. Be melodramatic!
Mini-Report on Jamestown and Williamsburg

Remember to take notes of funny observations and little known
facts when you are on tour. Let him help you decide what to jot
down. Don’t just do it for him. Tell him to tell you, "Hey, help me
remember that. Would you write it down for me?" Also, do immedi-
ate narrations after reading/listening to new information.
November
Inca-Aztec Compare and Contrast Chart
December
Cartoon/Comic Strip
195

Assign the TinTin books and Calvin and Hobbes if you like for ideas.
January
Summaries of Fables
Read fables and then summarize the morals of several. Since fables
are short and the morals are clear, it’s easy to start rudimentary writ-
ten narration using fables.
February
Oral Reports
Do one per week based upon the current section of history or sci-
ence being studied.
March
Free Write or Word Collage
Freewriting is explained in Chapter 4. A word collage is an attempt
to describe or express the images of a chosen topic using words.
These words can be written artistically on a piece of paper alternat-
ing with images (if you have an artistic student). Usually adjectives
and vibrant verbs at the best choices for collages. Topics can range
from the personal and concrete (like self, home, family, faith) to aca-
demic (historical events, scientific breakthroughs, literary charac-
ters).
April
Historical Scene as a Radio Drama
Using Adventures in Odyssey as a model (or another radio drama),
write a dialog that develops a historical scenario.
May
Student’s Choice
May is a good time to allow the student to pick a writing project—
particularly at this stage of development. It’s a help to look ahead to
the next level of writing—faltering ownership.
Remember that the Partnership Phase requires significant involve-

ment and contributions from you, the mother, as your son tackles
these projects.
Schedule for Faltering Ownership

Language Arts:
• Copywork and dictation ought to alternate—each occurring two
days a week. Use of a handwriting book is also still helpful for most
kids at this stage of writing.
• One year of grammar in this phase (if your child is in junior high) is
valuable. I use Winston Grammar.
• Continue to encourage lots of oral narration, particularly if your
child is reading novels to him/herself.
• Vocabulary builders (such as Worldly Wise, or crossword puzzles)
are not required but are fun for some kids. It helps to use these for
196

a change of pace in the language arts routine.
Writing:
September
Lists
Give your student her own notebook for keeping lists of what mat-
ters to her. She can have a section for her copywork, dictation and
written narrations too. Then one of the sections should be for lists of
things she cares to record.
More ideas for lists:

• Books read (author, title and page numbers)
• Sports achievements (Green belt in Tae Kwondo—date achieved
and place. Soccer tournament—record of wins and losses. Ballet
skills mastered and performances)
• Prayer record book (prayer, date prayed, date answer received)
• Spiritual journal
• Daily diary
• Craft projects to try (include directions and list of supplies)
• Fantasies (Things she’d like to do with her life, goals she is aspir-
ing to…)
• Golden Lines (favorite quotes from novels she reads)
• Poems (by self or those she loves)
• Observations of a pet over a week’s or month’s time
Select a topic for the elementary school report.
October
How to take care of a Hedgehog (or pet of your choice)
This is an instructional paragraph but it doesn’t mean it has to be
dull. Let her sense of humor and personal experiences with her pet
be her guide.
Gather materials for the elementary report.

This means books, Internet sites, writing away for brochures or
resources, and so on.
November
Illustrated story
Choose a famous fairy tale and do a reversal on who the narrator is,
along the lines of "The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs." (By A. Wolf—
as told to Jon Scieszka). This book is available in the library.
Perhaps she can write a story from the viewpoint of the step-mother
in Cinderella or the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood.
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Begin note-taking procedure for the elementary report

She can use this month to turn in weekly sets of notecards to you.
December
Cookbook
Since it’s December, make a booklet of holiday recipes that might
make a gift for someone.
Save the report for the next month.

January
Elementary Report:
Week One: Re-read notes and decide if there is a need for more
research. Freewrite a draft based on these questions:
1. What do you know?

2. What don’t you know?
3. What do you want to know?
4. What don’t you want to know?
After she answers these questions, it’ll become clear what else she
needs to do to prepare for the drafting phase of writing the report.
She can use the rest of the week to do more notetaking or research.
Week Two: Put the cards in order and write out first draft of the
report. Let your student edit her work by looking for weaknesses
and mistakes.
Week Three: Add an opening hook, a side bar (of information/facts
that she doesn’t want to write into the body of the report) and a con-
clusion.
Week Four: Write up last draft. Check it for mistakes and weak-
nesses again. Then type up the final version. Put it in the report
holder and have an ice cream.
February
Mini-Report
Make sure that the topic is narrow. Perhaps she can write a brief
report on Laura Ingalls Wilder (A one page biography) or some
other author she is reading. Check out the library for children’s
biographies about her.
March
Book Report
After writing about the author of choice, how about a book report for
one of the books? She can use this list of ideas to help her think of
how she wants to write it:
1. Draw a picture or map of the place in which the story took place
(setting). Label to show what happened in each place.
2. Describe the most exciting part of the story. (Usually this is the
climax).
3. Could this be a true story? Why or why not?
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4. Make a timeline for your book or your book's main character.

5. Make a list of choice phrases or words from this book (this is sim-
ilar to Golden Lines, but is a bigger selection from one book).
6. Draw a poster to advertise the book with one well-written slogan
that reveals something about the story. Example: The Wizard of Oz.
Picture has rainbow with Dorothy, Lion, Scarecrow and Tin Man.
Slogan, "Find out what happens to Dorothy of Kansas when she
lands on the other side of the rainbow." Then write a short descrip-
tion of the book to go with it.
7. Write a puppet show of one scene from the book.
8. Send an email to a friend telling him why he should read this
book.
9. Compare this book to another one from the same time period.
Make a chart of what they have in common and what is different
about each one.
10. Pretend you are a movie producer. You have to judge whether
this book would make a good movie. In no more than two para-
graphs, because your time is valuable, tell why you consider accept-
ing or rejecting this book to be made into a movie. Remember to
consider:
a. plot
b. box office appeal (what type of audience would like it?)
c. script (is the conversation lifelike?)
April
Retell a story
For a child studying medieval history, for instance, write from the
viewpoint of one of the knights of the round table in the language
used by Howard Pyle.
May
Oral Exams
For some families, oral narrations of the school work serves as a
way to close out the school year. Instead of requiring a writing pro-
ject, leave space for either oral narrating or freewriting written narra-
tions.
Poetry
Writing a poem is not as taxing as a full length project and offers a
change of pace.
Sample Schedule for Transition to Ownership

Language Arts:
• For the junior high school student, one year of grammar ought to
be fitted into this phase: either Winston Grammar or Advanced
depending on what your student has already done. A foreign lan-
guage does the trick too.
199

• Continue with dictation, copywork and written narrations. The dic-

tations ought to increase in length. Schedule some copywork that is
targeted at content—highlighting writing elements, when possible.
• By now, handwriting books shouldn’t be necessary.
• Journaling or diary keeping ought to count for writing, but it isn’t
mandatory. If a child resists it, don’t require it except on special
occasions.
• The biggest emphasis in language arts is to be sure that your stu-
dents are reading and interacting with quality literature of a wide
variety. Include classics as well as modern literature. Read poetry
and plays, watch movies and attend live performances. Dabble in
Shakespeare.
Writing:
September
Perceptual Skills Exercises
These exercises are available in Brave Writer course called
Kidswrite Intermediate. I will release them for separate purchase in
2002.
Oral Narrations Leading to Written Narrations
For students at this level, it’s important to emphasize coherent
retelling and then to expect some of it in writing. One way to work
toward this goal is to choose one novel to narrate chapter by chap-
ter. After each one is read (whether from a book being read aloud,
or read privately by the student) ask for a chapter narration/summa-
ry. This discipline helps a child to learn how to write in a concise
way the essential elements of a story.
October
Writing Elements
Use the Top Ten Writing Elements and ask the student to find as
many examples of any of the top ten as she can in one month while
reading the writing of others. Here are the rules:
1. She can look in the newspaper, any of her textbooks, novels,
magazines (including the ones like “The National Enquirer,” “People”
and “Glamour”) or Internet sites.
2. She should write out the quote that goes with the element.
3. Ask her to include a short (very short) explanation of why she
thinks it works and why it’s representative of that writing element.
November
Compare and Contrast Exercise
Choose two books from her list to compare and contrast. Create a
chart with compare on one side and contrast on the other. List the
items that are similar and dissimilar from the two stories. This is
most effective if the books are related in some way—either they are
written about the same period of history or they tell stories of similar
issues.
Oral Reports
200

Let her take notes from whatever history text or books she is study-
ing and do one oral report per week.
December
Book Report
More sophisticated version:
1. Write out a short screenplay for one of the scenes in the book.
Include set notations, acting instructions (like “He inquires pensively
with a furrowed brow while looking stage right.”).
2. Pretend to be one of the characters and write a journal as that
person experiencing the events of the book.
3. Describe each of the main characters:
—What he looks like
—What his moral framework is in the book
—What he contributes to the plot
—Why you admire him or not
4. Describe the setting and its importance to the story. (Time, place,
mood)
5. Can you examine the author's purpose in writing the book? What
was his motivation (personal experience, to send a message, to
give information--combination of the three)?
6. Write an alternate ending to this story.
7. Fictionalize the story (if non-fiction) or write it as a newspaper
article (if from fiction—as though it happened).
8. Make a book jacket for this book—design a cover, then write a
story summary on the front inside flap, then write an author bio
blurb on the inside back flap and finally write some "pretend"
reviews on the back of the cover. Don't forget the title, author and
publisher on the spine of the book.
9. Compare this book to another one that is similar in content or
similar in time period—describing related events—like two books
from the Civil War or two books written by Fitzgerald.
10. Write a poem that summarizes the themes or that expresses the
feelings of a character from the book.
11. Write a letter to or from one of the characters in the book.
12. Pretend you are the author of the book. Write a short article
explaining why you wrote it, what your intentions were and what you
hoped the reader would do after reading this story.
13. Imagine you are the main character—tell what you thought of
the other characters in the story and why.
14. Write ten well-crafted questions that you would ask a reader of
this book to test his comprehension.
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15. Identify three themes:

—Look for symbolism in the setting
—Look for repeated imagery in relation to a character's presence
(think Darth Vader here—music changes, black clothes, husky
breathing James Earl Jones voice.)
—Look for recurrent language that expresses an idea, mood or con-
dition.
16. Identify four or five of the writing elements in the "Top Ten" guide
and quote from the book explaining where these are found and how
they fulfill those definitions.
January
Fiction
After all that reporting in the fall, it’s a nice idea to let her have a
break to reproduce the writing of a favorite in fiction. I particularly
like imitating Rudyard Kipling’s Just So Stories.
February
Mini-report
Choose a topic to write about that uses multiple sources. This mini-
report ought to be two pages in length, minimum. Show your
sources and include some quotes as appropriate.
March
Journal Entries
This is a month that can emphasize nature journaling or keeping a
personal diary. For the creative student, keep a journal as a fictional
character or as a person of history. Make entries at least five times
in a month.
April
Comic Strip
As a change of pace, encourage some creativity through a comic
strip or cartoon sequence related to history, science or literature. Be
sure to supply comic strip examples so that your child has a model.
May
Poetry
Use this month to enjoy reading poetry as well as listening to
favorite song lyrics. Trying her hand a poetry is also a good idea.
Imitation is the easiest way to encourage poetry.
Sample Schedule for Eavesdropping on The Great

Conversation
Language Arts:
• For high school, one year of grammar and two years of foreign lan-
guage.
• Continue with dictation. This is the time when the lengths of dicta-
202

tions ought to increase. A page length dictation is not at all out of

line. Do dictation once a week. Choose passages from literature.
• Copywork can continue as a routine that the student practices on
his own. I like to let older kids have more control over what they
copy.
• No more need for handwriting books.
• Continue to read and look for literary elements in literature and
non-fiction. Choose an element per month to highlight and to look
for.
• A wide diet of fiction from all the genres is important.
Writing:
August
Mini-reports
Two per week related to history.
September
Perceptual Skills Exercises
Kidswrite Intermediate.
Creative Book Reports
Keep a journal of novels read and understood.
1. Author’s Name and Book Title
2. Reflections on the book that don’t retell the plot. In other words, I
am less interested in her narrating back the story. She needs to
delve deeper and tell me something of the essence.
An Example by Tiffany (15)

To Kill a Mockingbird Chapters 1-11
From the beginning of Harper Lee’s novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, the
reader is given a vivid picture of the small town of Maycomb and it’s
prosaic inhabitants. While the voice of the narrator alternates
between Scout as a five-year-old and Scout as an adult, her child
voice narrates most of the time telling things as they are in a naive
way. Evidently, the story is begun at the end, foreshadowing an
accident that will occur presumably as the novel concludes. The
small town setting gives a feeling of personal relationships and the
idea that everybody always knows what is going on with everyone
else.
Scout’s attitude about school portrays a lot about her character. In
terms of education she is way ahead of her peers so she is impa-
tient with the slow pace that her young teacher insists is for her own
good. With defensiveness and inclinations to defend her father,
Atticus, Scout gets herself into trouble sometimes. Scout’s novice
attitude also inclines you to feel more compassionate to her and
other characters.
Through Jem and Scout and their new friend Dill as well as their
innocent games, the reader is introduced to the elusive character of
203

Boo Radley. His cryptic presence intrigues the children. Only when
Jem and Scout started receiving presents in the knothole of the tree
did Jem realize Boo’s attempt at friendship with them. When Nathan
Radley cemented the hole in the tree, it symbolized his control over
Boo. Jem’s reaction to the experience when it took place demon-
strates his approaching adolescence.
Tiffany is a good writer for her age. I don’t expect that this be a
model to be copied but rather as an illustration of the kind of reflec-
tion that I am talking about when reading. Though Tiffany tells us
about the story, she does so to illustrate deeper points.
November
Expository Essay Class
Writing Compass
December
Research Paper begins
Choose topic and begin gathering books.
January
Shakespeare
Watch Shakespeare performed first, then read it.
Rent these movies:
Much Ado About Nothing (Kenneth Branagh production starring
Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Denzel Washington, Keanu
Reeves and Michael Keaton in a bit role)—This one is really funny
and might be the best to start with!
Hamlet (Zeffereli version starring Mel Gibson and Helena Bonham-
Carter)
Romeo and Juliet (Zeferreli version starring Olivia deHussey)
Midsummer Night’s Dream (1999 version starring Michelle Pfeiffer—
a smidge of nudity from the back view)
Taming of the Shrew (Zeferreli version with Elizabeth Taylor and
Richard Burton—a classic)
Looking For Richard (Produced by and starring Robert DeNiro is
also an interesting look at how Shakespeare is performed)
Shakespeare in Love is more enjoyable if the student already has
some exposure to Shakespeare since the whole movie is an inside
joke for Shakespeare lovers. (It does have some adult material in it).
These films would be much better introductions to the charms of
Shakespeare than reading the dry text.
Shakespeare’s sonnets.
Memorize one.
Begin research paper.
Turn in notecards weekly
204

February
Kidswrite Intermediate Online course
March
Fiction
Learn the elements of plot and story writing. (Online class)
April
Vacation
May
Complete Research Paper
205

206

Appendix II
Frequently Asked Questions
I’ve discovered that as long as we pick a topic David’s interested in, he has
no problems with writing. What happens when he gets into college though, and
they aren’t so willing to let him pick the topic all the time?
Most people (not just children) dislike assigned topics/ideas for writ-
ing. Assignments feel like external pressure to live up to someone’s
expectations. If the topic is unfamiliar or is not interesting, it’s even more
challenging to tackle in writing.
Still, there will be times when a writer’s choices are limited.
Assignments in college are not always right in line with our natural incli-
nations or interests.
Two principles to consider:

1. Your kids aren’t in college yet. While they’re home, they have the
opportunity to first experience success in writing with subject matter that
does interest them. The surprising thing about writing is that it’s far eas-
ier to kill interest than to nurture it. As a result, during the first eight
years of schooling, the goal ought to be to build a child’s competence and
confidence—and that comes through writing about things that your
child likes and knows well.
2. Does that mean that we can never say, “Write about Islam or
Columbus?” No. What it does mean is that we must look for the aspects
of these topics that hooks a child’s interest even in these subjects.
In Writing to Learn, William Zinsser points out that every subject
can be approached by any student if they can find as aspect of the topic
that hooks their fascination. I dropped the book on the floor. That’s pre-
cisely how I got through college.
When a teacher assigned an ancient history paper, I wrote about
early Christianity. For my African history paper, I wrote about the role of
Christian missions. When I studied American worldviews, I wrote about
the role of the Puritan work ethic for one class and the role of the
Quaker religion in another.
The Christian angle in history made all the classes more interesting
to me because I had recently begun to investigate the claims of
Christianity.
207

APPENDIX II FAQS
I’m also a people person. I write better about relationships and peo-
ple than technology and discoveries. I like ideas, not concrete details. So
as a history major I wrote about trends, whenever possible, rather than
battle strategies, government structures or economics.
Our kids can be taught how to use their particular way of approach-
ing life to determine how to convert a writing assignment into some-
thing for which they have passion and keen interest.
Ask your children these questions to help them find an angle that
helps them write about a less interesting topic.
1. Do you prefer understanding people or ideas? Do you enjoy the
“story” or the facts? Are you motivated to research trends and
cause/effect relationships or the interpersonal dynamics? Or are you more
interested in technical information and scientific processes? Do you have
a field of interest that can be used in that particular assignment?
If you are motivated by the way people think and make decisions,
then WWII is far more interesting to write about if you focus on the
psychology of Hitler than the specifics of the German battle with Russia.
If you’re interested in science and technologies, then perhaps your paper
could focus on the development of tanks or air bombers.
2. What’s your favorite writing genre? Use it for your first draft. If
you write better narrative (story) than analysis, start by writing the ideas
out as a dialog between the major players in the subject. If you like
reporting, write as a news journalist. Give yourself permission to write
the way you like to write at first. Then you can change the style later to
fit a more academic format, if need be. The facts, quotes, details and
transitions are secondary to getting down your first thoughts.
3. What do you already know about this subject (even before you
research it)? Write it all out. Allow yourself to be emphatic, dramatic and
problematic (asking questions, raising issues and taking both sides of an
issue back and forth). Put no restraints on yourself and let your mind
run. Once you start this way, you’ll give your mind a jump start (like a
jumper cable) that will launch you into more interesting research. And
you’ll often discover that you already know more than you thought!
You write a lot about “writer’s voice.” How far should we take this? My
kids can get pretty silly when they write. I want them to learn when to flaunt
their quirky senses of humor and when to cool their jets.
I’m currently reading a hilarious and very educational book to my
kids about geography. It’s called, Where on Earth: A Geografunny Guide to
the Globe. Two brothers wrote and illustrated it and used their sense of
humor to make all these otherwise difficult and sometimes boring topics
really relevant to kids. For instance, these brothers wrote:
208

Or imagine that the Earth is a bowel of breakfast cereal. The land

would take up about as much room as four round banana slices adrift
in all that milk. In other words there’s a lot of water out there.
A sense of humor is an underrated writing element. Making natural

comparisons to personal experiences is what all the great writers do. So
don’t worry too much if your kids are exploring the territory called,
“Writing with flare.”
Jean Fritz is another wonderful writer who discovered that she had a
passion for making the lives of the great men of American history real
for kids. Can’t You Make Them Behave, King George? and What’s the Big
Idea, Ben Franklin? are classics.
Her reports don’t resemble the stuffy reports of schoolrooms. She
includes the personal details that make these men of history real people.
Our kids need to be released from our weird, leftover ideas of what good
writing is. Our prejudices come from 12+ years in a lifeless academic set-
tings reading text books. Time to wake up the senses. Let your kids
know they can be themselves and still write!
If your kids seem to stray from the topic in their silliness, simply
redirect them to the subject matter. Don’t criticize their humor, but ask
them to keep it focused on the topic. This usually works. And if it does-
n’t, send them to take a few laps with the dog in the backyard. They
might just need a little break to refocus on the task at hand.
I hope to inspire a generation of kids and moms who have the
audacity to write what’s inside of them. I want your kids to tackle all
kinds of subject matter without hesitation because they’ve discovered that
their perceptions are not only worth thinking, but are worth recording
and sharing with others.
How can I take the time needed for writing when MATH (I had to write
it in all caps) is always haunting me? What I want to do is take a whole
morning, a whole day, a whole life, just to sit with my kids and talk about
things, to take as long as it takes to connect, whether it’s about writing or dic-
tation or science or history. It’s heaven to just hang around and learn together.
But it doesn’t move us any farther along the syllabus and it doesn’t get the
schedule of the day completed. Writing always gets short-shrift.
Why can’t you take the needed time for writing? This is a noble and
worthy goal. What would happen if for a week or a month, you gave up
trying to control the learning you did into neat compartments of math,
English, science and spelling each day? Instead, imagine absorbing the
material from one subject thoroughly until a level of satisfaction and
some mastery were achieved before moving on.
What if you don’t have time for math today? Can’t you do math
tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow? Who told all of us that writing
209

APPENDIX II FAQS
and math had to be done everyday? Don’t mothers always feel like what-
ever their kids are doing, they should do something else?
I remember my friend saying, “When my kids are outside playing, I
think, ‘They ought to be indoors doing a project or using their minds.’
When they’re indoors reading and drawing I think, ‘They should be out-
side getting fresh air playing with their friends.’”
Writing is a process. It isn’t a neat formula; it’s not a prescription; it’s
not a school subject. It’s a means for communicating. Teaching writing
means gently encouraging your kids to discover that their thoughts have
merit. Writing makes thought-life concrete. Writing is the place for valu-
able thoughts.
The problem with programmatic writing plans is that they empha-
size the product as the goal. What I’m trying to stimulate is a willingness
to enter into a lengthy process of discovery. The product is merely a sign-
post on the way to a bigger goal: a free mind at play.
What are some of the discoveries you’re likely to make if you give
writing enough time?
• Your kids are interesting people.
• You don’t communicate all that well yourself.
• Being interested in a subject often leads to passion which then
produces learning, which then produces writing.
• Writing well takes a lifetime to master so we can go slowly and
savor the learning process.
• This is a journey taken by mother and child. Most moms realize
that they have a distorted view of writing too and begin to uncover
new applications of writing in their own lives.
• Writing takes more time and involvement than many of us have
been willing to commit. Conversely, the time put in produces better
independent work in the end.
Since many of you feel tied to your lesson plans, I urge you to plan
one day a month where writing is the only thing you do that day. Lead
up to it with the exercises in this book. But feel free to take one day to
read, discuss, watch a video, discuss some more and then freewrite. Let
that be the entire day. See what happens over the span of a year follow-
ing that practice. I think you’ll be surprised.
Do I have to get rid of all my writing curricula? I’m nervous to “go it

alone.”
Nope. You can keep your writing curricula. But look through it and
check the writing assignment before handing it to your child. Take
charge of your writing program. The most important goal of a good writ-
ing program is that the child writes freely. Do what it takes to assist your
210

child in finding topics and assignments that encourage that level of writ-
ing freedom and participation.
What if my son never develops a love for writing?

Not all kids will love writing. Some kids, no matter what we throw
their way, will resist it. That doesn’t mean we stop offering writing
assignments. It means that we offer compassion, too. We give them
options and show our willingness to share the load and walk the journey
with them. We care about what’s blocking their thoughts and what
makes it difficult to write. We don’t hit them over the head with
metaphoric sledgehammers.
The biggest disservice we do our children in language arts is to treat
their writing problems as irrational. When we do this, we cause them to
doubt themselves. They learn to think that their experience isn’t real or
trustworthy (which is an awful prospect for a writer since all a person has
to write down is what’s inside). Then they transfer those blunted feelings
to the writing process.
Instead, we can come alongside our kids and admit that writing is
hard work. We can ask them to look inside for what they think would
help them today. We can offer to sit by them until the breakthrough
comes.
Imagine that you are in labor. You tell your husband how hard it’s
getting. He says, “Listen, you have to go through this. This is how you
have a baby. Millions of other women through the centuries have gone
through labor. I know it hurts, but quit bugging me. Just go in the other
room and get it done.”
Or he can say, “Yeah, baby, I know it’s hard. Did you know that mil-
lions of other women have felt just like you? Let me hold your hand.
We’ll get through this together.”
You tell me which one you’d prefer to have at your birth? I won’t
patronize you by spelling out the analogy.
How much grammar do you recommend? And what’s the best grammar
program?
I’m not a grammar expert. However, I have a strong sense of gram-
mar from my years of working as an editor. Even more helpful were the
three foreign languages I’ve learned.
Ruth Beechik explains the role of grammar better than anyone I’ve
read does. You Can Teach Your Child Successfully is a tremendous book for
understanding how to teach language arts naturally without lots of
prepackaged workbook programs. Her chapter on grammar is unparal-
leled in my opinion.
211

APPENDIX II FAQS
The program that I like and use is Winston Grammar. If your kids
visit grammar three times in their lives, they will have done enough. Hit
it once in elementary school, once in junior high and once in high
school. What they don’t get there they’ll learn when they study a foreign
language.
How many writing assignments should I give per week?

Less than one. My rule of thumb is that one quality writing project
per month is more than adequate for any homeschool. A quality assign-
ment means that it will be taken through the whole writing process from
freewriting to sharing the final product with a friend. Lesser assignments
(freewrites that don’t get revised, written narrations of a book, the “Five
Keys” or some other writing frame, nature journaling, diary entries) can
be done in less time. But if you were to commit to doing one writing
project per month (and then actually finished six of the eight you sched-
uled), you’d have done plenty of writing for the year.
How do I know that my child is writing to grade level?

You don’t. So stop worrying about it. The real issue is whether your
child is making progress in expressing himself in writing. See Chapter 14
for details of the natural stages of growing as a writer. Find where your
child fits on that grid and then go from there. In all cases, follow those
stages of growth. Don’t skip any of them.
I don’t feel confident about my writing abilities. I’m afraid that I’ll leave
something out if I go it alone. How do I know that I won’t damage my child’s
writing abilities?
The best thing to do if you lack confidence in writing yourself is to
learn to write. Start with freewriting and do it once a week with your
kids. Show them that you can learn right alongside them. One mom
started a “Writing Group” with her kids. They scheduled weekly
freewrites together and took turns sharing their writing outloud. They
kept a jar of topic ideas and selected a new one each week.
Once you engage in the writing process, you’ll discover that you
know more than you think. You’ve been reading for years, you’re no
longer under the harsh glare of the educator’s scrutiny (no grades hang-
ing in the balance) and you may even discover that you enjoy getting
your thoughts down on paper.
The second thing to do is to enroll your kids in some kind of writing
course once in awhile. This may sound self-serving since I offer online
212

writing courses, but let me clarify why I mention this. I started offering
classes for one reason only. I couldn’t believe how often my friends sunk
lots of money into the latest writing manual fad only to give up halfway
through the year. I kept thinking that if they could only talk with the
curriculum writer and get immediate feedback, they’d do so much better.
As a result, I decided that before I ever wrote a curriculum, I would
offer online support in the form of classes. Classes help in several ways.
First of all, there’s someone to keep you accountable to the deadlines.
Secondly, you learn to see what another reader sees in your child’s writ-
ing. As you read alongside an instructor, you learn what to look for and
what to do once you see it. Thirdly, online classes give you a glimpse of
other kids’ writing. You discover quickly that lots of sixth graders can’t
spell worth a hill of beans and that lots of eighth graders don’t have
organized writing.
If classes aren’t an option, meet with another homeschooling mom
once a month and bring your kids’ writing with you. Trade papers and
read what the other kids wrote. Talk about what you see and ways you
broke through with a reluctant writer. The biggest problem in teaching
your kids in your kitchen is that it’s a lonely job. Get out of the house
and order some café au lait. Read and chat. It’ll be worth more than all
those reference books combined.
At what age ought I to start a writing program with my kids? I have a

daughter who’s been writing stories since she was six and a son who is now
eleven and will hardly raise a pencil.
I usually recommend holding off on a formal foray into writing until
nine or ten. Even though many kids love to tell stories and are busy dic-
tating interesting thoughts and ideas before then, it’s still too much to
expect them to take those same thoughts and funnel them through a
pencil. By nine or ten, the small motor skills have caught up with the
mental agility and together, some stilted, quirky, poorly spelled writing
will emerge. Don’t quench the little flame. Applaud, applaud, applaud.
Keep the little storyteller happy.
The transition to independent writing is often bumpy. One way to
help is to alternate the tasks of writing and thinking. Let your child
think first while you take notes. Then on another day, hand the notes to
the child and ask him to freewrite using the notes as reminders of the
things he has to say. The biggest hurdle is going from lucid, natural
thinking out loud to squeezing those same thoughts through immature
spelling and blank paper intimidation. So be patient and give lots of sup-
port. Sometime by about age 13, you’ll see your kids get the hang of it.
213

APPENDIX II FAQS
I have a sixteen-year-old who really can’t spell. What have I done wrong?
It could be that you’ve done nothing wrong. The issue here is not
one of blame but how to get the most help to that child. Though I’m a
big believer in allowing children to write without thought to spelling in
the initial phase of writing, I think we need to be equally rigorous in the
polishing phase. Kids must learn that their spelling has to be 100% cor-
rect by the final draft.
For kids who really aren’t spelling well at sixteen, there are a couple
of things to check:
• Eyesight. Be sure that you don’t have a son or daughter who is sim-
ply not seeing well.
• Spot check the troublesome words. If when orally quizzed your son
can spell the words he misses in writing, then chances are that he hasn’t
yet taken responsibility for checking his work. He may need the freedom
first but then needs to be ruthless in his double-checking.
• Check for a learning disability. One thing I’ve noticed with kids
who persist in spelling problems is that they often have trouble with
writing itself. Their sentences are awkward and lack the natural voice
that is present with speaking. So don’t hesitate to go to a specialist to see
if there is another issue at work here.
By sixteen, your kids should be able to spell 80% of their words cor-
rectly on the first pass. They may have some “hangers-on” that still need
work, but by and large, their spelling ought to reflect a growing level of
fluency.
I have a gifted writer. I don’t know how to help her to grow to her poten-
tial. What do I do?
First of all, I want everyone to know that gifted writers come in both
genders. And the one thing to do for a gifted writer is to let him or her
write. It almost doesn’t matter if you teach these kids at all. They need
lots of pens, notebooks, and privacy to work. Some need computers (of
their own)!
Keep her reading. Allow her to write. And as she hits high school,
check out books from the library by professional writers who teach the
craft. There are books that specify the writing requirements for children’s
books, mysteries, romance novels, short stories, poetry, technical manuals,
and advertising. Treat your child like the budding author that she is and
in no time, you’ll see great improvement.
By the way, it’s also very helpful if she can find an outlet for her
writing—some meaningful audience. Our local library hosts a teen poet-
ry night where kids share their poems with their peers. My two oldest
kids were so moved by what they heard that night that they came home
214

and wrote the most moving and profound poems of their lives.
Hearing the writing of peers does a lot to stimulate new ideas and
styles of writing. My online classes provide a similar safe place for shar-
ing written work.
In my imaginary life, writing comes naturally to both of my older children

so that I am virtually unnecessary in the writing process. I imagine that they
enjoy writing, that it is easy to them, and that they can’t wait to express
themselves in writing. When will this fantasy be a reality?
Interesting ideal. Probably true for most mothers—they hope they
won’t be needed for long. Here’s a reality check on writing with kids.
You’ll be needed until they leave for college. And the more involved you
are (with changing roles throughout their school careers, of course), the
better their writing will be.
Said another way: all writers need editors. And you are the editor
until your kids move off to college. You’re also the reader—the primary
source of feedback and the main target audience for your child who
writes. Therefore, you are an indispensable part of the writing process for
every one of your kids throughout their entire academic careers (whether
you send them to school or they stay home).
My mother, who was a professional writer even when I was a child,
typed papers for me, read my essays, gave feedback on short stories,
brainstormed theses, and so forth. I owe a lot to her help and insight. I
still remember specific ideas that improved my papers.
You don’t have to be a professional writer to do the same for your
kids. You simply have to care and know up front that you’ll be needed
each step of the way. And I’m here to cheer you on and to make it less
painful as you do. (See my website for the online message
board–bravewriter.com)
I’ve tried to let my daughter’s creativity have sway. I allow her to turn
reports into stories. But what do I do when she misses the point of the assign-
ment and ends up with nothing more than a little tale about the topic without
any of the facts we studied?
Girls especially, love to write, it seems. They are usually more verbal
and relational. Writing is a vehicle for both things—communication and
relationship (readers)!
For those creative kids who write poetry, stories, new endings for
books, character sketches, lists of rhyming words, captions for their art-
work, you’d think their mothers would be happy. Surprise! They aren’t.
Why? Because those same wonderfully free writers fidget, resist and
215

APPENDIX II FAQS
complain about having to write mini-reports about clipper ships and silk
worms. They ask, “Can I write a story of Silkie the Silk Worm? Why
does it have to be a report?”
The mother might even capitulate to the idea only to find that Silkie
never makes a cocoon or eats mulberry leaves. Instead he plays on the
playground with his other insect friends. And then that half-baked story
sits half-done for weeks and the daughter never comes back to it. Ugh!
When will she make the transition to an essay? Mom wonders.
Reasonable thoughts. One way to combat this tendency is to help
your daughter brainstorm a list of required facts to include in the story.
As I’ve already shared, Gabrielle researched the life of a Puritan on the
Mayflower before writing about one. Then she made use of that informa-
tion in her fictional diary. Help your child to understand the purpose of
the assignment before turning her loose. And then let her find a mean-
ingful way to incorporate your expectations.
What about high school? Are you going to leave us high and dry?
The three essential writing forms that need mastery in high school
are the five-paragraph expository essay, the 50 minute timed essay and
the full-length research paper (12-15 pages). The first of the three (the
five paragraph essay) comes in a variety of styles—the argumentative
essay, the exposition of literature and the exploratory essay that examines
a topic without drawing a firm conclusion, to name a few.
I believe the timed essay to be the most overlooked skill in home-
schools. By the end of high school, students need to be able to write a
coherent essay within a time frame without the opportunity to revise.
This is what an essay exam is. I recommend six weeks of timed essays at
home during the final year of high school. If your student has mastered
the basic essay format, the timed essay will not be too difficult.
The research paper is completely intimidating to everyone—you, and
your kids… Don’t feel badly about it. The way to think of research
papers is to think of three expository essays that relate to each other
under one umbrella. The introduction to a research paper will introduce a
broad enough topic that three different areas can be explored in essay
length.
Help for Highschool is available on the Brave Writer website. As Brave
Writer grows, I plan to offer more and more high school level classes
including the study of literature, poetry, plays, Shakespeare, and the writ-
ing of research papers and essays.
216

What are your top ten thoughts about writing?

1. Talk with your kids a lot. Listen to them, help them to orga-
nize and express their thoughts. Expect lots of verbal communi-
cation before expecting writing.
2. Be sure that your kids have developed an intimacy with their
subject before they write. This comes from investigation of the
subject through the five senses, research, discussion, books,
movies, and interviews.
3. Allow for an incubation process (brooding) so that your kids
can “crockpot” (or slow cook) their ideas.
4. Encourage freewriting. It gives kids the chance to write what
they know without the limitations of spelling, grammar and
punctuation.
5. Don’t expect “good” writing from kids between 8 and 12.
They have terrible spelling, don’t understand what makes a
complete sentence and often have underdeveloped ideas and
images. Don’t be surprised; be supportive.
6. Narrow the focus—expand the writing. Revision is the key to
good results.
7. Fix mechanical mistakes with a nonchalant attitude. The stu-
dent makes the changes he sees first, then his mom mops up
the remaining problems with little comment or notice.
8. Kids are persons first, students second. Remember to affirm
any glimmer of idea, original thought, complex relating or cre-
ative expression. Look for the silver thread in the burlap of
their writing and praise it to high heaven.
9. Require writing but not every day. When you do write, put
other subjects on hold to give enough time and focus to the
process. Keep looking for the clues to what will unblock your
child.
10. Above all, enjoy the interactions with your kids. When they
do finish a writing project, celebrate.
217

APPENDIX II FAQS
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The Writer’s Jungle

A SURVIVOR’S GUIDE TO WRITING FOR KIDS

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a

Printed in the Unites States of America.

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number Pending

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

I learned that I CAN teach my sons how to write effectively! I

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

“I learned that we can actually be successful at writing! Whew! And

“Kidswrite Basic made writing simple. It gave us a way to start on a

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

Preface to Second Edition

efore my youngest daughter could read, she could write. At ages

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

The Growth of Brave Writer

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

ried homeschool parent–The Arrow, The Boomerang and The

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

• Savor the language and literary techniques of successful

While a young writer is becoming a competent reader and a comfortable

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

experiences or telling a story whose endings live only in their imagina-

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

to life. Start by identifying the surprising comparisons you find in the

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

what he or she believes about it all, I love it (even in the muddle of

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

• Shop yard sales.

In addition to conversation, freewriting transforms oral language into

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

lowing process. I strongly recommend reading Chapter 7 first and then

Snip and pin revision What we are looking for isn’t a

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

Principles that help you coach your reluctant writer

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

rewriting a specific piece. On the other hand, training in how to revise is

Two brave writing exercises

Jabberwocky! (by Lewis Carroll)

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

line is inflected. Is the nonsense word a verb or an adjective? Try both

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

• Stick to the words you’ve collected instead of adding words

The following is a poem I wrote using my word tickets based on the

enormous and complex

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

© 2012 Julie Bogart www.bravewriter.com

Chapter 1 The Big Language Arts River 1

Chapter 2 Communication Gear 17

Chapter 3 The Sights Along the Way 27

Chapter 4 Essentials for the Trip 43

Chapter 5 Mom’s Survival Kit 57

Chapter 6 The Topic Funnel 67

Chapter 7 Hacking Through the Underbrush 81