Tears of A Helpless Woman

TEARS OF A HELPLESS WOMAN CHAPTER 1
My name is Mwansa Yande, I am an orphan who

was raised by my uncle and his wife. My parents
passed on in a terrible car accident when I was 3
and I joined my grandmother in the village. I
remember the village so well although I left when I
was 12, my uncle picked me saying I had to go to
school.
My uncle works for the mines as a geologist while

my aunt is a housewife. She is nothing like my
mother, yes I do remember my mother so well. She
was light skinned and beautiful, with hair that fell
over her shoulders. I hear my parents were so rich
and they were the bread winners of the family, I can
imagine what that means because if they were
better than my uncle then they should have been
stinking rich.My uncle has a beautiful house, it has
7bedrooms and I don’t know how many bathrooms.
You should be thinking for people who are so rich, I
must at least be a middle child. Well I’m far from
that , I’m not even a maid. I’m simply an outcast.
At the back of this mansion is a chicken run and in

the next room is a neglected storeroom. Its neither
painted nor vanished its simply another room that
should have equally been a chicken run. Well to cut
the long story short, that is my room.
Its very accommodating to all my needs and I
guess i am happy. For me, happiness is a choice.
Like you choose to be sad, I have chosen to be
happy in all situations. You see for a girl like me
you don’t really have much choices, for example
none of the things that have happened to me are
my choice. So when given an opportunity to
choose, I choose happiness.
My aunty and uncle have two children together,

they are twins. I call them my sisters from another
planet, not in their faces of course. But that’s how I
often refer to them. They are sisters from another
planet because they are blessed with hate that I
can not explain, very bitter beings.
My uncle is in a world of his own and in his world I

barely exist, talk of being invisible.
I only have one thing I boast of and that’s my

writing talent, I write everything and I document
everything about my life. I remained with a couple
of books that my father left, that’s all my
grandmother kept and she didn’t explain much
about where my parents property went.
I don’t consider what my aunty does to me as

“mistreating” I call it tough love. She loves me but in
a very tough way. Her children, the twins…
She calls them miracle babies because she
struggled in labor. Well, they go by the names….
Joy And Faith. Faith is really dark while Joy is quite
light, that’s the only way I can tell them apart. Other
than that, they look so much alike. They are
18years of age, very beautiful and very spoilt.My
uncle promised that I would be starting first grade
again on my 21st birthday. I did learn from 1st
grade to 7th in the village, hence I can write and
read fluently.
Anyway my birthday is in two weeks and I am so

excited. I was supposed to be in night school with
other adults but my aunty said no. She wants me to
be in day school a class filled with kids that will
probably laugh at me, I know it’s a plot to get me
frustrated so I stop school but against all odds.. I
am a survivor.
I survived this life, I survived everything my aunt

threw at me. I will survive this one too, I just want to
learn more how to read and write. I Like to read and
write a lot but my English is basic. I guess that’s all
I can do. I have absolutely no interest in arithmetic
or any other subjects. One day I hope to be a
writer. I believe I will sale a lot of books. I’m so
excited about school because I get to move a step
closer to my dream of becoming a writer. I’m not
sure how that will play out but I believe all will go
well in Gods time.
The first thing I would like to buy when I become

successful is a house, because this steel roof
above my head steals every inch of sleep I have. It
makes serious noise when it rains and I often wake
up in tears staring at the mansion and wondering
how life turned out this way for me.
Another thing I would like is a beautiful bed bought

from a furniture shop. I want so many things but
firstly I want school.
Tbc
In life there will always be someone you can lean

on, well what do I know about life? . Anyway, I do
have someone I lean on everyday, he always
encourages me and guides me through my day to
day struggles. His name is Jesus, a friend of mine
(Sandra) introduced me to this man in 6th grade in
the village. My grandmother didn’t oppose my belief
in him but she didn’t seem interested.
At first it was very weird because Sandra talked

about him a lot, he seemed like this super natural
being .. Something I can’t explain.. Someone so
great ….. so great but he wanted to be my friend.
She also mentioned that he has a father and he
and the father love me. It was more complicated
than I explain it but overall he has been my friend.
I took it this way, she may actually have been lying

about this man but the more I listened to her, the
more I believed in his existence. She actually gave
me a book, in that book there so many wonderful
stories about him and his father. Its amazing how
much power he has, she mentioned that he lived on
earth and then went back to heaven and one day
will join him there. I believe my parents are there to.
Anyway theirs more I can tell you about him but let
me tell you more about my life.
My aunty is not Christian neither is my uncle, but

they go to church every Sunday. They do, actually
they dress very well for Sunday service. and I
believe they really make a great statement at
church.
The twins are in what is called “praise”, from what I

know that should be a choir or something. Anyway
as far as am concerned, they sing in church.
I do not at all call them Christians because from

what I know, reading through the bible… there
character and behaviour do not match that of
Christians.
Theirs a man called “papa” well that’s as much as I

know about his name. Papa is the leader of the
church. The church that my family attends. I have
been there once or twice, on those few occasions I
had to ride at the back of my uncles truck. At least it
was a fancy truck, so when we got to the church I
was less embarrassed.
Let me tell you about “Papa”. He comes home very
often and that makes all of us really busy. We have
to prepare a buffet for him and his disciples, he has
a very extravagant lifestyle and he preaches wealth
and prosperity all the time. He has a deep annoying
voice and I have no idea if that’s the ” kingdom
thing” but then again my Bible tells me a lot of
different things about these self proclaimed men of
“god” or “gold” if you may. My aunty invests so
much in this man, the offertory they give him to
perform some magic tricks is huge. I know it’s
magic because I saw a lot of those in the village. It
all seems like a whole bunch of hypocrisy. I’m not
in support of that and I often sound bitter when I
talk about it.
Anyway, the mansion has 4maids in total, I’m the

Fourth.
Working like a maid in my own uncles house is

humiliating, I don’t get paid to work so you can
imagine the other maids look better than myself. My
own pay is the roof over my head and the old pots
and pans that my aunty donated to me. She equally
allowed me keep the boxes of books I carried from
the village which is fair enough for me.
The food I eat is usually what the maids eat,

usually…. not always. Because sometimes a well
wisher brings me food through the gateman. That
well wisher is a person I met on my way to the
market one day, in fact we met again a couple of
days after. That well wisher became my very good
friend despite her age.
Mama Patricia is heaven sent, she is a chef at a

nearby restaurant in town and she took keen
interest in knowing my story.
When she felt pity and offered me a hand, i was

embarrassed. I thought she was suggesting that my
situation was very bad.
Mama Patricia donates a couple of things that help

with my upkeep and the gateman helps out a lot in
getting those items to me without the knowledge of
my aunty.
“Yande! Yande! Yande come here you fool before I

kill you with my bare hands.” Mrs Yande yelled.
“That’s my aunty calling, I need to run. If I don’t get

to where she is in 3minutes I will definitely die.. Yes
she has hit me a couple of times and I have scars
to show for it. By the way she addresses me by my
sir name and not my first. She says Yande suits me
more. From what I hear, my name Yande is an
expression of surprise. I don’t know if that is true.
Anyway according to her, I am a surprise……. a

very unpleasant surprise.
################################
” Yande I need you to pick my dresses from the

laundry, you will be going with the driver.” Mrs
Yande said.
I nodded my head in agreement and waited for her

to finish talking.
“We are having a party tonight just here at home

and I hope you can dress your best because you
are invited.. And not as a maid this time” Mrs
Yande said before walking out.
“Dress my best?” I thought.
I don’t own any nice clothes and I don’t see why

this event is so important that I should be invited.
By mid day the driver and I were back from the

laundry and I went straight to look for an outfit.
Well I already knew that I don’t own any nice

clothes so i went to shower before i could figure out
what to wear. As i was showering i noticed it was
that time of the month. The most painful thing about
being a poor young lady was when i had my
monthly call, my aunty would never give me money
to buy sanitary towels so I either rolled a lot of
tissue or recycled some pieces of cloth. Anyway
that’s exactly what I did before I dressed for the
party.
Ms Chileshe, one of the maids from the mansion

came running to my cottage in the evenings as I sat
reading a book.
“Mwansa! Mwansa!” The event is about to start,

people from church are here you need to step out.
When she said those words a cold breeze hit me.
After tying my long natural hair, I got up and looked

at my floral dress, even the mirror couldn’t hide the
imperfections on my dress.
It was an old fashioned dress with huge shoulder

pads and buttons in the front that started from my
cleavage all the way down to the end of the dress.
It certainly didn’t look like what girls my age wore
but it was my best. Joy and faith usually donated
their old school shoes to me and that’s all I ever got
from them. So to finish off my look was an old pair
of Bata school shoes.
I was embarrassed and uncomfortable but that’s all

I had.
“You look good” ms Chileshe comforted me.

“I know I don’t… you don’t have to say anything” I
said as I walked past her.
“You have a beautiful face and your hair is long and

beautiful. You’re the most beautiful girl I know” Ms
Chileshe said.
My eyes were teary but I walked to the mansion

with confidence.
“Oh you are finally here…” My aunt said as I

walked into the kitchen.
She seemed to have been directing the maids

before I walked in.
“Yande please get the tray over there and serve

those drinks to the guests” my aunt said.
I quickly picked the drinks and went to the front of

the house where everyone was.
I saw a lot of familiar faces in the crowd so I quickly

gave the drinks to strangers and I sat in the corner
waiting for the party to be over.
“We are here to celebrate a great milestone in the

twins lives” my aunt said through microphone.
I couldn’t see her from where I sat but I heard her

loud and clear.
“Well as you know my twin daughters have left high
school, so basically we are celebrating their trip to
the USA. They have Been great kids and they
deserve it.. So this is a farewell to them and
hopefully they have a lot of fun” Ms Chileshe said.
At that time my heart sunk and I shed tears. Surely

this life had to be fair. I was living in a chicken run, I
could barely afford anything and now my aunty and
uncle were throwing a party for my cousins to go to
America?. That explains why my aunty wanted me
at the party, she could never miss an opportunity to
humiliate me.
I got up from my sit and decided to walk to my

cottage but i was making a very big mistake
because the back of my dress was messed up.
Nearly everyone noticed and they pointed at me
and laughed.
It was the most embarrassing day of my life and

like my life wasn’t hard enough. I cried bitterly that
night and questioned the existence of my God. Was
he really there or was he just a myth. Could my life
get any worse?
Tbc
I cried myself to sleep that night. My heart was torn

in pieces and I questioned God several times.
The following morning I woke very early from the
knock on my door. When I opened it was one of the
maids from the mansion
“Wake up dear your aunty wants you” she said.
I quickly changed and went to the mansion. My

aunty was sitted on a sleeper couch and she asked
me to sit on the floor.
She was taking a glass of red wine and she was in

a in a pink bathrobe and pink socks.
“Are you a fool?” My aunty said.
I was looking at the beautiful pattern of the floor

when she said that and I wondered if she was
talking to me. I raised my head in surprise.
“Are you surprised? Is there another fool around!!”

She yelled.
I shook my head suggesting that the only fool was

myself.
“As old as you are, you can not take care of

yourself? What was the meaning of that
embarrassment last night? Don’t you know how to
prevent such!!!” She yelled.
My heart crushed and tears rolled down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry aunty I did not have sanitary towels.. So I

used a …”
“Oh shut up!!! Shut up now” my aunty yelled.
“Next Time do not embarrass me in front of my

guests! Useless child!!! She yelled.
I was facing down while my tears soon rolled to my

neck. Before I knew it I got a splash of wine on my
body.
She poured a glass full of wine on me and asked

me to leave her presence.
I rushed to my room and threw myself on the

concrete floor and I cried out to God.
” Jesus!!!! Jesus!!! You said you were my friend

where are you!!! Even your book assures me that
those who trust in you shall never lack a thing.. God
why am I suffering!!!! I mourned.
I beat my hands on the dusty concrete and cried

bitterly until I couldn’t cry no more.
When I got up my dress was messed with dust and

the heavy flow of my menses penetrated again and
stained my dress.
I quickly changed my clothes and washed the dirty
things with the remaining beats of the washing
powder I got from madam Patricia.
I couldn’t hang my clothes on the same line they

used for the mansion so I would usually hang them
over the fence or on one side of the roof as it was
near, it was a poorly built chicken run so the roof
wasn’t far from reach.
During the day it was a little uncomfortable because

the garden boy would usually be around and he
would be in the chicken run often making it hard for
me to use the bathroom as it only had a curtain and
the ventilation holes from my room were big. So
who ever was in the chicken run would have a
glimpse of what would be happening in my room.
After washing I rushed to the gate to talk to the

gateman Mr ngoma.
“Sir have you seen mama Patricia of Kate? I asked.
Mr Ngoma denied seeing her and I got worried, it

was unlike her not to check up on me. I was in
desperate need of sanitary towels and she’s the
only one who could provide.
“I will make sure I call you when I see her” he said.

I went to the mansion and started my chores, the
chickens were ready for dressing so for the rest of
the day that was my duty
At least I enjoyed that part of work because the

maids and I would share the chicken intestines and
livers.
We dressed 100 chickens in the morning and

shared the intestines and livers as usual. The
maids would usually cook food from the kitchen and
we would share. I was not allowed to use the stove
to cook my own food only during lunch when the
maids and I would cook our lunch.
At night I had a brazzier which I made use of, I

would get some charcoal for the chickens as there
was usually charcoal for warming the chicken run at
night.
That day when work was done I knocked off and

went to my room but my aunty called for me. It was
very unusual for my aunty to allow me in the
mansion at night so I wondered what this was
about.
Aunty and uncle were chatting in the living room

when I entered.
When uncle was around I would sit on the couch

however this time I chose to sit on the floor.
“Am sure you heard that the twins are going to
America” uncle said.
I nodded my head in agreement.
“First thing tomorrow morning come and help them

pack they leave at 14hrs” my uncle said.
I looked at him with a lot of bitterness, surely my

dads own brother would do this to me? I thought.
I got up and left there sight. That night all I wanted

was to read a book so I got a funny novel that I
enjoyed reading.
I laughed to myself as I read and finally fell asleep.

However I woke up angry because of the dream I
had. Why would I have such a mocking dream?
In my dream I saw myself going to America instead

of the twins and I was excited, I had been
sponsored to go and study literature.
“God why mock me in such a way” I thought to

myself.
I sat fantasising before I fell asleep again.

Because of my disturbed sleep I ended up
oversleeping and was woken up by a sudden cold
breeze.
“Wake up you useless child, u don’t know why you

are still here I’ve warned your uncle to send you
back to the village but he won’t just listen!!” My
aunty. Yelled.
My body was dripping wet from the water my aunt

had splashed on me.
“Let me meet you here in the next minutes.. I will

kill you ! She warned before walking out.
I quickly changed and kept telling myself not to cry

although a huge lump settled on my throat.
I brushed my teeth outside quickly and u ran to the

mansion.
The twins were very upset and they took turns

yelling at me and asking as to why I did not go
there on time to help them pack. It was only 6:40
according to the clock on the wall so I wondered
why they were so upset.
Seeing how much clothes they had made me

jealous but I just looked on helplessly.
They all dumped there clothes on the floor and and
I folded then neatly in their cases. As I packed their
clothes, they bragged about the United states and
how they wanted to see the statue of liberty and
everything they watched in movies.
” do you know what a statue of liberty is? Faith

asked.
“Yes I do, its a lady with a crown holding something

up on one hand” I responded without looking at her
as I sat packing.
The twins both turned and looked at me.
“How did you know that?, you’ve never been to

America” Joy asked.
“I have in my imagination and through the books

I’ve read” I responded.
The twins burst out laughing and called me a

village girl whos never been on a plane. I was
offended especially when Faith said the closest I
will get to flying is on a broom since uneducated
people like myself can only be witches.
The twins left in the afternoon and I cleared there

bedroom before I went back to my room.
I was so bitter and I cried terribly. I didn’t even feel
like eating so I slept on some raw peaches I had
plucked from the garden. They actually made my
tummy hurt but for a poor girl like myself, pain was
normal.
That night it rained heavily and I sang different

songs that I had learnt from the village as a child. I
couldn’t sleep as the steel roof made a lot of noise
and the chicken too made a terrible noise.
When all the songs were done I stared at the

plunks above that supported the roof as tears rolled
down my cheeks.
“For how long would my life be like this? Answer

me Lord ” I said as I cried terribly
Tbc
The following day my eyes were swollen and the

maids kept asking what the matter was but I
couldn’t answer.
All I wanted was to work that day without

responding to anyone. My aunty gave me laundry
to do and I went into the laundry room to wash. The
mansion had two washing machines so all I had to
do was hang the clothes after they left the machine.
while I was searching the clothes before putting
them in the machine I found K300 in my uncles
trousers. A part of me wanted me to keep it
because i thought of everything I needed but my
heart couldn’t find peace so I decided to keep the
money for my uncle.
He was not around at that time and I waited for him

to come home for lunch.
Around 13hours I heard a hoot at the gate, it was

my uncle who had just come home. So I rushed to
the front and as soon as he pulled over I greeted
him.
“What do i owe the greetings?” He responded as he

left the car.
“Uncle I found this money in your pocket as I was

doing laundry” I said as I extended my hands to
hand him the money.
My uncle stopped and looked at me from head to

toe and then got the money, after counting through
it he looked at me again.
“Where did you say you got this money from again
?” He asked.
“Your grey trousers, the one you wore yesterday” I

responded.
“I did not put any money in that trousers and in fact
my wallet equally didn’t have money” he
responded.
I was shocked and wondered what was going on.

My uncle returned the money to me and told me to
keep it instead.
“But don’t you think you should ask aunty first?

Maybe it’s hers” I suggested.
Before my uncle could answer my aunt came out.
“Ask aunty what? What do you want him to ask

me? Honey see what I meant when I said this child
is the devils advocate?” My aunt said angrily.
I was shocked and I started shaking wondering

what she was talking about.
“I lost a K300 in the house and she denied it, I

asked her and even demanded that she would
leave this house if she does not return it… Now
foolishly she decides to play this trick. She is a
pathetic liar!!! My aunty yelled
Those words echoed through my ears like a very

loud trumpet and I already knew that i would not
exculpate myself.
“Did you do it? Answer me you devil!!! Yelled my
uncle.
I looked at him with no strength to respond, I just

shook my head.
Tears were already washing my cheeks and my

feet became numb.
I thank God that neither of them laid hands on me

but I was asked to leave immediately.
My whole world was crushing but in between the

crying and the state of confusion I managed to
smile at my aunty and uncle.
My uncle asked me to use that money to go to the
village, a place last saw when I was 12.
Where would I even start from?anyway, according

to many tales I heard.. It was impossible to get lost
in the village as everyone knew the other.
With the sack bag that I used to keep my clothes, I

left the mansion around 14hours to go and start my
life afresh. I was numb to everything at that hour. I
couldn’t feel any pain, i was in a state of shock.
All I could remember was saying to my uncle
” I did not choose anything in this world, I only

chose happiness. Because everything was decided
for me”.
I don’t know what I was thinking but I
communicated all my feelings through that
statement.
My fellow maids cried bitterly and they said they

envied me. I didn’t understand why because they
had everything better than I did. But they assured
me the God I trusted in would help me.
My sack was heavy because I packed all my novels

and only two dresses and a small blanket.
I thought of the journey to the village and how long
it would be. How my life would turn out there.
Maybe I would be married off the moment I got
there, maybe my grandmother would no longer be
alive.
As i walked with the huge sack bag on my head I

thought of aunty Patricia, the woman who had
always wished me well. I had to see her somehow
but I didn’t want to bother her anymore than I
already did.
A thousand thoughts rushed through my head at

the same time and I sang my school hymns again.
A picture of my mother crossed my head and she

was smiling at me, she was still as beautiful as I
could remember
A car stopped in front of me and one angry looking
lady came out yelling.
“Have you lost your mind?? do you want to die!!!

Why are you walking in the centre of the road and
not moving when I hooted!” She yelled.
“Calm down!!” A voice shouted from the car.
I didn’t see the person but it was a male voice.
“Am sorry I did not hear you” I responded calmly.
I was frustrated but that woman looked more

frustrated than I was. The car drove off in full speed
leaving dust particles everywhere.
I kept on walking down the road until I couldn’t walk

no more. I had walked for 3hours and now my neck
was aching from the heavy load.
I put the sack bag down and sat on it, evening was
approaching and I had to find a place to sleep.
Town was nearer to the mansion but for some
reason I had taken the opposite direction and I was
now in an area filled with many plots , some places
had houses while others had unfinished buildings
or just bare land.
I guess my intentions were to find some unfinished

building were I could pass the night.
I knew the area but the furthest I went was the first
phase where we usually bought charcoal for the
mansion.
I was under an oak tree looking at the sky and

wondering where I would go from there. Many cars
passed along the gravel road and no one bothered
to stop or to lower the window just to look at me. I
guess a person like me would never be noticed.
I turned the sack bag upright and got my bible

which I had placed on top so I could easily reach it.
After closing the sack bag I turned it over again and
I sat on it.
Just after saying a short prayer I opened my Bible
randomly.
Deuteronomy 31:8
“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with
you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not
fear or be dismayed”
It’s like heaven was smiling on me upon reading

that scripture, I did not have a place to go or
anyone I could lean on but those words alone were
my source of comfort. I smiled to myself as I closed
the bible.
“Life you can’t do anymore harm to me” I said to

myself.
“Are you looking for a job” a man said to me as he
parked just before me.
A black Mercedes Benz just like my uncles had

parked before me and here I was staring at the
man who had uttered those words.
“Sir are you talking to me?” I asked as my eyes

focussed on him.
Tbc
“Yes I am” he responded without hesitating.
“Yes I am looking for employment. Are you hiring? I

asked patiently
“Well are you strong enough to work on a farm?”

He said with a smile.
His smile could brighten many days.
“Yes I guess I can” i said.
“That’s great then, hop in” he replied
I hesitated a little and my stomach turned.
Can I trust this man? I thought to myself.

“Are you having second thoughts?” He asked me.
“Sir what is your name?” I asked as if his name

alone was enough to make me comfortable to go
with him
“My name isn’t a problem but I am harmless. Very

harmless” he said
“Is it your farm?” I asked.
As I asked all these questions, I was seated

comfortably on my sack bag and did not care to
move a muscle.
“Its not a farm actually, its a house and you could

say its mine, a relative of mine is staying there” he
said.
I was about to ask why on earth he thought I was

looking for a job but I just ignored and stood up.
“Does that mean you will come with me?” The

gentleman asked.
“Yes….. I will” I responded hesitantly.
He quickly came to lift my sack bag and I walked to

the car.
“Lord I don’t know but I trust you” I muttered.

The road was so bumpy and dusty and the
gentleman kept apologising each time we hit a
pothole.
Finally the car stopped at a beautiful house. It

wasn’t big like my uncles mansion but it was
equally big and neatly built.
“This is where you will be working” The man said as

he pulled over.
I looked at him without a word as my mind went

wondering in thought.
He opened the door for me and I came out of the

car.
A pregnant woman walked out of the house and

she smiled.
“Is that her?” The woman asked with a lot of joy.
“Does she know me” I thought.
“Yes this is your new house help” the gentleman

replied.
I was led into the beautiful house. Everything in the

house looked great and you could tell everything
had great sentimental value.
I quickly sat on the floor but the woman stopped
me.
“Young Lady sit on the couch and tell me about

yourself” the woman said.
“My name is mwansa madam I am 21years of

age..well I will be 21 in two days” I said.
“Wow that’s great.. But where do you stay?” She

asked
“Well I used to stay with my aunty and uncle but

they could no longer afford to take care of me so I
decided to start looking for a job”. I responded.
Meanwhile the gentleman who took me there was

somewhere in the house probably in their master
bedroom.
” so how long ago was that? She asked me
“It’s just today mum and I thank God your husband

met me and gave me a hand” I replied.
“My husband? Oh no no. He isn’t my husband. Did

he not introduce himself at least?” She asked
“Oh no madam, I’m sorry I thought he is your

husband” I responded.
“No not to worry dear” she said.
“Atu! Atusaye!” She called out.
“I’m coming” the gentleman replied.
“Atusaye is my youngest brother, he is the last born

in my family” the woman said.
“Oh OK” I responded.
The gentleman or Atusaye like the woman called

him finally came before us.
“Atusaye you couldn’t even introduce yourself, she

thought you are my husband” the woman said.
Atusaye had an apple and took a big bite off it.
“Young lady my name is Atusaye and this my older

sister” he said as he chewed.
“By the way I don’t introduce myself to beautiful

women because I’m taken” he added.
His sister immediately burst into laughter.
“He is crazy don’t mind him, he is engaged and will

be wedding soon. His fiancée will be coming for
dinner tonight. Actually you came at the perfect
time. Do you know how to cook?” The woman
asked me.
“Yes I try mum” I responded.
“OK great then, let’s go to the kitchen” she said.
Atusaye sat and enjoyed watching TV while we

started cooking.
“You can call me Mrs. Martins” she said.
“Is her husband white? It made sense because she

had a fine taste of things in the house
” I thought.
“I’m not always alone I have two house helps but I

need someone to work at night and I have two
sisters. They are out for the weekend” she said.
I nodded my head with a slight grin to show I was

listening.
She did all the cooking while I helped with chopping

things up, like meet, onions, tomatoes, vegetables
and some other things I did not even know existed.
I also washed the dishes.
“My husband is in Scotland on a short visit. ” she

added.
Now I was more positive that he is white.
” do you have siblings?” she asked me.
“No mum I’m an only child” I said.
“Oh OK.. Must be boring being an only child” she

said.
“Yes.. It often is” I responded.
“We’ll discuss the terms of employment after a

week meanwhile I want to see how you will do, if
you impress me then I guess we’ll be together for
long” she said
“OK mum” I responded calmly
Dinner was ready and we set the table.
“My dear let’s go I show you your quarters” she

said.
The small apartment had a nice bed a well tiled

floor a nice built kitchen and my own shower and
toilet.
I was so blown away. It was like a small Paradise.
“This is where you will be staying” she said.

I thanked God inside and I thanked her too.
“I won’t disappoint you mum” I said.
“My dear call me Mrs. Martins, mum sounds old”

she said with a smile.
“OK Mrs. Martins” I responded.
“Take a shower and join us for dinner there’s no

food here for now” she said.
I quickly showered and wore my other dress which

was very old fashioned. As I sat combing my hair I
heard a knock on the door. It was Mrs. Martins.
“I brought you some lotion, do you have some?”

She asked.
“No I don’t… thank you”. I responded
” is that the dress you’re going to put on? She

asked me.
“Yes…” I responded shyly.
“Claudine and her family can be rather impossible

let me get you something different ” she said
I wondered who Claudine was but I figured it was

Atusaye’s fiancée.
After a little while I heard a knock again.
“Come in please”. I said.
Atusaye quickly burged in with a big plastic bag.
” she said you can have these” he said before

quickly walking out.
I offloaded the plastic on the bed and it had very

good quality clothes. Clothes that I would never
have imagined myself wearing
As I excitedly searched the clothes I heard a loud

bang on the door
“Don’t be long the guests will be here shortly”.

Atusaye shouted .
” OK sir!” I responded.
I quickly picked a beautiful peach peplum dress. I

loved my body in the dress. I never knew I could
ever look that beautiful.
My natural hair was tied up in a pony and i wore

pink slippers which were also in the plastic bag.
“You look very nice” Mrs. Martin’s said as I entered

the house.
“Thank you” I responded shyly.
We went to sit at the dining table while we waited

for the guests.
Shortly i heard the gate open as car drove in and a

little while later the group of three walked in.
Atusaye and Mrs. Martin’s stood up in what
seemed like a sign of respect to welcome the
visitors so I followed suit.
The guests sat down after exchanging greetings

and we equally sat.
I was still feeling lost and wondering what God was

doing. He brought me here and now I was going to
be eating with total strangers.
As I studied the visitors faces I spotted a Lady who

looked very familiar. The lady came with her mum
and dad. My head went spinning wondering who
she was when suddenly the words hit me.
“Have you lost your mind?? do you want to die!!!

Why are you walking in the centre of the road and
not moving when I hooted!”
The Lady i was looking at was the same lady that

shouted at me on the road as I was walking from
uncles house.Suddenly it hit me.. The voice of the
man who I did not see.. The voice that shouted..
“Calm down!!” matched Atusayes voice exactly.
I was now wondering what was going on but clearly

the lady could not recognise me.
Tbc
“Mr and Mrs Mwale meet my niece Mwansa and

Mwansa these are our in-laws to be.. Of course
Claudine over there is Atusaye’s fiancée” Mrs.
Martins said.
“Of course the one and only” Claudine responded

as her eyes flirted with Atusaye.
I was honoured to be called a niece, not even my

uncle and aunt addressed me as such.
“This food is so nice” Mrs. Mwale said.
“Yes sis in-law this is great” Claudine added.
Mrs. Martins smiled and appreciated the

comments. Dinner was indeed great but what
baffled me was the fact that Atusaye was too
serious. He never participated in the conversations
and he didn’t seem interested at all. Perhaps its
because his in-laws were around.
Claudine’s family was very modest, they were quiet
particular about a lot of things and from the look of
things they were rich.
After dinner the guests went to the living room to

have a conversation while I picked the plates to
take them to the kitchen.
Atusaye helped with taking the dishes to the

kitchen.
“On which side of the family are you from? Is it from

Mrs. Martins or???” Claudine asked as she sat by
the kitchen counter.
“Am actually from…”
“She’s mums cousins daughter” Atusaye

interrupted.
I took in a deep breath and continued doing the

dishes.
“So where are you from?” Claudine asked.
“She’s from within.. Honey let’s take a walk outside”

Atusaye interrupted again.
From the look of things I already knew Claudine

and I would not get along.
I quickly cleared the kitchen and walked to my
apartment. I overheard Claudine asking Atu where I
was going but I didn’t turn around to look at them
neither did I bother to hear Atusaye’s response.
I changed into my old dress so I could sleep in it, its

funny how my favourite dress was now my night
gown. God surely works wonders.
I quickly fell asleep guess the walking for 3hours

had made me really tired.
The following morning I was up by 5 and I cleared

my apartment. Mrs. Martins came to the apartment
just before 7 and she asked me to join her in the
house.
“I was impressed with how you left the kitchen” she

said as we walked.
“Oh thanks madam”..
” Mrs. Martins” She interrupted
“Sure.. Mrs. Martins” I responded.
Mrs. Martin’s gave me food and she ran me

through a couple of rules. Everything sounded fair
and manageable, all she wanted was for me to do
my best.
The maids came in a little while later and she
introduced me to them, they seemed just as nice as
the ones from the mansion and I felt welcome.
“Do you know how to pound groundnuts?” Mrs.

Martin’s asked me.
“Yes I do Mrs. Martins” I responded.
She gave me about a kg of groundnuts and led me

to the back where I could pound from. It wasn’t a
difficult task for me at all, so I sorted the nuts, put
half in and I started pounding.
“Someone is working hard, a lot of strength you’ve

got there” teased Atusaye.
“Good morning sir”. I greeted him as I continued

pounding.
Atusaye bended over about to get a handful of nuts

when Mrs. Martins walked out.
” Atu what are you doing? Mrs. Martins asked.
“Oh sis.. Just the person I was looking for” Atusaye

said before walking away with Mrs. Martins.
They disappeared into the house and I continued

pounding until I finished. Mrs. Martins was in the
living room with Atusaye when I walked in.
“You’re done? That was quick” she said.
“OK you give it to the maids to prepare lumanda or

are you able to do that?” Mrs. Martins asked me.
I didn’t expect Mrs. Martins to eat such traditional

food but I guess the pregnancy had a mind of its
own.
“Yes I do” I responded calmly.
“OK then you can prepare..” She said.
I quickly cooked the traditional vegetable and

nshima. The maids had cooked the other food to
complete the meal.
After setting the table I sat with the maids in the

kitchen and we enjoyed the food, it was just like the
mansion except I was welcome.
As I went to pick the dishes from the table Mrs.

Martin’s teased Atusaye.
“Can your soon to be wife prepare such a meal?”

She asked.
“In my house we’ll be modern, such won’t be there

… We’ll be having hotel kind of food” Atusaye
responded as he giggled.
“Oh please.. Its your favourite food.. Are you just
ashamed to admit that you enjoyed?” She teased
again.
Atusaye just giggled as he played with with the

toothpick in his mouth.
“Mwansa dear the food was great, I’m holding you

responsible for getting me so full” Mrs. Martins said.
“Oh thanks madam” I responded.
” Atusaye aren’t you going for work?” Mrs. Martins

asked.
“No I’m off today..” He responded.
“You’re off how many times in a row? If I were you,

I would be happy to be working with the love of my
life” Mrs. Martins said.
“Jeez…… Working with Claudine? then please take

my place by all means” Atusaye said as he laid
back in his seat.
I quickly cleared my mind and lifted the last plates

from the table.
When I was done Mrs. Martin’s asked me to go and
rest before I could come and prepare dinner. She
asked me to leave the work for the maids.
Tbc
I sat reading a novel on my bed and being grateful

for all I had, a part of me wondered whether my
uncle was regretting his decision. Why would my
own family neglect me?
Suddenly, I heard a loud knock on my door.
“Come in” I said before put my booking down.
“Mr. Atusaye.. Hai..” I said wondering what he was

looking for.
“Hi Mwansa.. Is this a novel?” He asked as he sat

on my bed.
“Yes it is sir, can I offer you anything?” I asked.
“Oh no.. Just came to see how you are settling in

that’s all” he said.
“OK thank you..” I responded and I went back to

reading my book.
Mr. Atusaye was still on my bed and he started

pressing his phone. I was very uncomfortable as I
did not want Mrs Martins to start doubting me so I
excused myself to go outside.
“Don’t worry she won’t know, its your boss you’re

afraid of right?” He asked me.
“Yes I’m a lady and you know she might take it the
wrong way” I quickly responded
I was still standing ready to go outside when

suddenly I heard a knock on the door.
My heart was racing and I had no idea what to do

at that point. Atusaye quickly rushed to the
bathroom and I opened the door.
“Hi… You can come and prepare supper now as

we are about to leave” one of the maids said.
“OK I’m coming soon..” I responded calmly.
“I saw Atusaye come this side have you seen him

by any chance? Madam is looking for him” she
said.
My body froze but I managed to shake my head in

disagreement.
“No.. He has not been here” I said.

She did not look very convinced and I was now
more nervous.
“OK dear in case you see him tell him Mrs. Martins
is calling” she said before walking away. I quickly
shut the door and took a sigh of relief.
Atusaye walked out of the bathroom and found me

sitting on the bed looking very worried.
“Relax she won’t say anything” he said.
“That was scary.. Sir please you need to leave

now” I said.
“Oh you think she has gone? … She knows I will be

out any minute so she’s waiting to see me” he said.
“But I thought you said she will not tell anyone” I

argued
“That’s still no reason to feed her suspicions..” He

responded.
“OK sir please lock up I’m going madam has called

for me” I said before walking out.
When I got to the kitchen everything I needed to

cook was on the table so I picked the apron and
straight away got busy. At the back of my mind I
was worried that Atusaye may be seen whilst
leaving the apartment.
“Oh you here..” Mrs. Martins said as she walked

into the kitchen.
“Yes I’m here” I responded shyly.
“OK you will have dinner with us but tomorrow you

can stock up your house, I will give you some
money” she said.
“Thank you madam.. I mean Mrs. Martins” I said.
“About your uncle..what does he do?” She asked.
“He is a geologist” I responded as I continued

cooking.
“Really that’s very surprising” she said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Well because I do not know a geologist who

becomes broke..” She said.
“Some do” I responded calmly as the pain hit me.

My uncle wasn’t broke but he just didn’t want me.
“My husband works for the mines..” She said.

“So what is for your birthday tomorrow?” She asked
me.
“Just being alive is enough for me” I responded.
“Oh come on.. you should celebrate.. It’s your day

and it comes once in a year” she said
I just smiled without a word.
“You know Mwansa I like you a lot from the

moment I met you .. You are so humble” she said.
“Life is humbling madam..” I said.
“Oh what do you know about life young lady” she

teased.
“Little.. Very little” I responded.
“Did you finish school? Actually I wanted to ask..

Why do you just want yo be a maid? I mean if
you’ve been to school you should be able to do
something more decent” she said.
When Mrs. Martins noticed that I had suddenly

gone quiet she apologised.
“I’m sorry dear, hope I wasn’t offending” she said.

“No you weren’t, I only went up to 7th grade” I
responded
Mrs. Martin’s did not ask any further questions until

I was done with supper. After setting the table she
asked me to join her so we could eat together.
“Atusaye is a nomad heaven only knows where he

is..” She said
Immediately my heart skipped when I realised he

probably hadn’t left my apartment.
Mrs. Martins said grace and we got digging into the

food.
“Would you like to go back to school?” Mrs Martins

asked.
I wasn’t expecting that question but I quickly

replied.
“I would love to but I’m already too old” I said
“Too old? No dear you’re never too old to go back

to school” she said.
“Anyway.. I have decided you can have the job and

for a start you will be getting k800” she said.
“Oh thank you so much madam”. I said as tears
rolled down my cheeks.
“No don’t cry dear, just do your best and will be

together for a very long time” she said
I was so emotional that I even failed to finish my

food, Mrs. Martin’s couldn’t understand because
she had no idea what I had been through.
After dinner I cleared the kitchen making sure it

was spotless clean and I said goodnight to Mrs
Martins.
“Goodnight dear” she responded as she remained

lying on the couch.
I went to the apartment very excited and thanking

God. He is indeed a miracle working God. Who
ever thought I would be getting paid? To my
surprise Mr. Atusaye was fast asleep on my bed
when I returned.
“Sir.. Sir” I said as I shook him.
“You’re back dear” he said as he stretched himself.
Mr Atusaye got up and then came close to me. I

was very uncomfortable but he quickly pecked my
forehead before i could stop him.
I rubbed my forehead and moved away from him.
“Relax that’s how white people say goodnight” he

said.
“I’m not white” I responded bluntly.
“Well you will soon begin to behave like one.

Loosen up and get settled into this environment” he
said.
“Sir you can’t come here again, this job here is my

life I have no where to go after this”
“Oh no no no.. ” he interrupted.
“You have many places to go, this is just the

beginning and yes.. You’re right… I shouldn’t be
here. I promise not to come in here again” he said
before walking out.
I took a deep sigh of relief and got on my knees to

thank God for this new chapter in my life.
Tbc
Life is full of ups and downs but just like the storm
passes away, so does every dark patch in ones life.
I did not realise how Mr. Atusaye’s behaviour had
bothered me until I tacked into bed. Many questions
crossed my mind.
“Why would he do that?”
It baffled me and I just couldn’t get answers.
The following morning Mrs. Martin’s asked me to

shower saying we would be going to the mall
together.
I quickly bathed and wore a beautiful hand me

down dress from Mrs. Martins before going to the
main house.
“Are you ready?” She asked me.
“Yes I am” I responded.
“OK please call Atusaye in the house, he needs to

drive us there” she said.
“Where’s Mr. Atusaye? I asked the maids in the

kitchen.
” he should be in his room” one of them replied.
I walked down the passage and knocked on His

bedroom door.
“Who’s there?” A reluctant voice replied.
“Sir its me. Madam says we need to go now”
“Mwansa come in” he said.
“Sir I just came to deliver the message” I replied

before quickly heading back outside.
Mr. Atusaye emerged a little while later, he was

looking very fine.
“Did this man escape from a magazine cover or

what?” I thought to myself.
He was in a white polo shirt, a nice blue jean and

Nike sneakers. I also spotted the the Rolex on his
left hand.
“Mwansa dear sit in front, I’m pregnant so its quite

uncomfortable for me to sit in front” Mrs. Martins
said.
Its the first time ever that I got to sit in front, I was
so blown away and wished I could document that
day in my diary as soon as possible.
Before we could start off, Mr. Atusaye leaned over

and fastened my sit belt.
“You will need that” he said.

Mrs. Martins was busy reading through her small
diary, perhaps going through the shopping list that
she did even notice.
The drive was very smooth, I mean the car was

very comfortable. I had never been on a plane but I
imagined it would be just as comfortable.
We pulled over at the mall and off we went to shop.
“Jesus how much money do these people have?”
I had my own cart where Mrs. Martins kept directing

me to put cleaning supplies while Mr. Atusaye’s
cart had all the food and other groceries.
Mrs. Martin’s stopped to greet a friend and Mr.

Atusaye used the opportunity to talk to me.
“Have you been to protea hotel?” He asked me.
“Sir who would take me there?” I asked shyly.
“OK we need to go there tonight for your birthday”

he whispered as Mrs. Martins was approaching.
As we continued with the shopping I wondered how

his suggestion would be possible. We checked out
of shoprite and went to Debonair’s to have pizza.
Mrs Martin’s said it was my treat for my birthday
and you can’t guess how blessed I felt.
We also bought a cake from vasili’s that I shared

with the maids at home.
################################
When we got home Mrs. Martins separated some

items which she asked me to take to my apartment
as my supplies. I couldn’t believe it. After that I
went to help with packing up what we got from the
store.
“Is Mrs. Martins always this nice?” I asked Stella

one of the maids.
“Oh yes she has a heart of gold, we all experience

such treatment on our birthdays” Stella said.
“Eh… Such people exist” I whispered.
Stella heard me and laughed.
“I thought the same thing when I came here” she

responded.
“I wouldn’t want to mess up, she is a good woman”.

I said.
” how’s Mr. Atusaye?” I asked.

“Oh him?? He is also very nice and very funny.. but
he is reserved” she said.
“Reserved?..” I asked with a lot of interest.
“Yes he is very reserved, he does interact once in a

while but he often minds his own business. No one
amongst the maids really knows him at a personal
level” Stella replied.
That sounded totally different from the man I had

seen in Mr. Atusaye.
“What are the other two sisters like?” I asked
“Well they are both very nice, Clara and joy.. Those
are their names” she said
” Joy? I have a cousin by that name. She is

something” I replied.
“No the Joy here is very nice in fact they both are.
They can just be a little lazy sometimes..” she
giggled
Stella and I finished packing all the things we

bought and I went to my apartment.
Shortly I heard a knock on my door and I quickly

jumped up to answer the door.
“You promised not to come here” I said to Mr.
Atusaye who was standing with a plastic in his
hands
“I said I won’t be in.. But I’m simply standing

outside” he said.
“I just brought this for you” he said as he handed

me the plastic.
“Sir what is this?” I asked nervously.
“It’s yours.. I have to go now” he said before

walking out. I quickly shut the door and opened the
bag.
“Oh …..my….. Jesus!..” I stammered
The bag had a beautiful mermaid dress, black in

colour with some crystal details on it. When I
unfolded the dress a paper fell out. It had some
writings on it.
“I tipped the security guard already. At exactly 7pm

walk out the gate and you will find a car outside.
You will find me there”
My knees suddenly became weak.
“Dear Lord what is this now?” I thought to myself.

My thoughts were disturbed by another knock on
my door. Everything stopped for a minute and I felt
like trouble was knocking on my door. Quickly I
picked the dress and the note and stuffed them in
the bag, it was then that I noticed a black pair of
heels in the bag.
After throwing the bag under my bed I quickly

opened the door.
“Dear am going to see mum, I wont be here until

later in the night. You won’t need to come to the
house.. I will have dinner from there” she said.
I felt like I was keeping a bomb in the house and I

felt insecure, i guess that’s why Mrs. Martins asked
if I was OK.
“Yes I’m fine” I responded.
“OK the guard is around and this place is very safe

anyway so you don’t have to worry. I will go with
Atusaye” she said.
” OK..” I responded calmly.
“Do you own a phone?” She asked me.
“no madam I don’t ” I responded.

” OK use this phone whenever you need to
communicate, my number is saved in the contacts,
its a simple phone you will easily get your way
around it” she said as she handed me the airtel
phone.
“Thank you Mrs. Martins” I replied.
“I will also be calling you if anything so please have

it with you. Here’s the charger too” she said.
I peeped through the window and saw them drive

out. My heart was still racing and I sat on the floor.
“I can’t say no he’s just like my boss” I thought.
When they were gone, I pulled the plastic bag from

under the bed and offloaded everything. The shoes
were beautiful with a very simple heel nothing,
exaggerated. I wore the shoes and tried to walk, to
my surprise they were so comfortable.
Its was 6:20pm and I quickly went to shower.
For the first time I was going to be removing tags

from clothes, that had never happened before. I
always wore hand me downs. I loved the smell of
perfume on my body and my dress looked very
beautiful.
So I actually had curves??? The dress accentuated
my figure perfectly and that made me even more
excited. When I was done dressing my stomach
suddenly felt strange and I knew I was nervous.
“Why was he being so nice to me?” I asked myself.
I looked at the time on the wall clock and it was

6:58pm, So I locked up and walked to the gate
steadily. A part of me wanted to walk right back but
I felt I owed Mr Atusaye for getting me this job.
I was embarrassed when I reached the gate but the

gateman went about his business even though I
knew he had noticed me. Just like the note said, I
found a car outside and I walked towards it.
“Lord what am I doing?” I asked myself.
After taking in a deep breath I opened the back

door and entered.
“I thought you wouldn’t make it” Mr. Atusaye said

from the front.
My heart pounced really hard and i noticed how

handsome he looked.
“God this night better end soon” I muttered.
“I heard that” he said with a smile.

“Relax its a birthday dinner that’s all, I’m engaged
remember?. This is just for you” he said.
“Mrs. Martins.. What if she comes back?” I asked.
“I’m her driver for now, so she will call me. Let’s get
going” he said before starting the engine.
Tbc
I tried to look as comfortable as possible but I was

panicking so much inside.
Mr. Atusaye played a couple of love songs and that

made me even more nervous.
We arrived at the beautiful protea hotel and he

looked at me with a smile as he pulled over.
“Relax dear, you’re too tense. Its just dinner” he

said.
He held my hand as we walked in and it felt just like

we were a couple. Except we weren’t.
“Don’t be nervous.. I don’t bite” he said as he held

on to my hand.
This felt like a dream, me? entering a hotel?

There’s got to be a God in heaven.
“Dear have you been in an elevator?” He asked
me.
“Elevator? No.. I’ve never been” I responded
“You say it so well almost like you not what it is” he

teased.
“Of course I do. Its a lift” I responded.
He giggled as he led me into the elevator.
The moment we stepped out of the elevator, my

phone started ringing. I was so nervous that I had
to stop walking.
“Just be calm and don’t let her think you are

panicking. If she asks about me tell her he went to
see Claudine.. No tell her we didn’t speak”. He said
in panic.
“Halo”..
” hai Mwansa dear how is everything? ” Mrs.

Martins asked
“Everything is fine madam” I responded calmly.
“Would you know if Atu is home?” She asked

“Yes he came though he’s left and he didn’t
mention where he was going” I said
“OK dear take care, was just checking on you” she

said.
When Mrs. Martins hang up I looked at Mr. Atusaye

as he extended his hand to me.
“You don’t have to make me lie like that” i said
” I promise” Mr Atusaye said as we walked.
“I thought it will be nice if we sit by the pool area”

he said.
I cared less about that, to me everything was just

amazing. I was shocked when i got to our table, it
was specifically reserved for us.
“You made the reservation?” I asked.
“Yes I had to, i think this is the perfect spot for us”
he said.
“I never thought I would ever step into a hotel..

Thank you sir” I said.
“Actually on that note I have a few rules I would like

to bring to the table” he said.
I looked at him attentively wondering what he was
going to say.
“Well firstly I am not Mr. Atusaye .. I am Atusaye or

simply Atu” he said.
“Sir why are you being nice to me? I asked.
” good question.. Let’s answer it after dinner” he

said.
The food was great and we talked about a lot of

things.
After the main meal the desert was brought and it

was a rich carrot cake with a candle on top. It was
funny hearing Mr. Atusaye sing me a birthday song
as I cut through the cake..
“Please let me have the honour of feeding you the

cake” he said.
“Feeding me?”
“Yes that’s what happens at birthdays or have you

never seen it before? The birthday girl or boy gets
fed” he said.
“OK then” I said as I opened my mouth.

I watched Mr. Atusaye cut a piece of the cake and
he slowly placed it in my mouth, it was simply
heavenly if you ask me.
“Why are you so shy?” He asked as I chewed my

cake.
“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m not used to this kind of

thing. I’m a maid..” I responded.
“I don’t see you that way” he said.
“Thank you but I’m not complaining. I am blessed to

meet your sister. She is amazing” i said.
“She is… To everybody” he added.
“So tell me about yourself. Who are you really? Mr.

Atusaye asked as he looked straight into my eyes.
“There’s nothing interesting about me” I responded

shyly.
“I still want to hear it all” he insisted.
I narrated my entire story up to the time I met him

and he couldn’t believe it.
“You mean your own blood relatives did that to

you?” He asked in shock.
“Yes .. My own relatives” I said as tears filled my
eyes.
“Hey look at me, no one has power over your

destiny. I believe better is coming your way” he
assured me.
The beautiful evening finally ended and we left the

hotel. Mr Atusaye told me there was one more
place he wanted to show me before we went home.
When we got to the car park he opened the door for

me and I entered. When I was I settled he closed
the door and he equally got in.
“Is that what they do in town? Opening the door for

the lady?” I asked
He looked at me and smiled.
“No dear that one is just a special treat” he said.
Mr. Atusaye started the engine and he drove to a

beautiful looking house.
” what are we doing here?” I asked him.
“This is my home. I’m not moving in just yet but I

just wanted you to see it” he said.
“Why?” I asked in shock.

“You ask too many questions. Come on let’s go in I
want to have your input on a few things concerning
the decor” he said.
“What will I honestly know about that?” I asked him.
“Did you not hear anything I told you about my life?

I asked again
“Of course I did but you’re a woman such things

come natural” he said.
“I think miss Claudine will do a better job, besides

she will be living here with you” I said.
Mr Atusaye giggled as he started the engine.
“What? Did I say anything wrong?” I asked him.
“No you didn’t. Actually you’re right. She’s my wife

to be after all isn’t she?” He said while maintaining
the smile.
As he drove home he held on to my right hand with

his left. I was quite uncomfortable but he seemed
happy about it.
“Are you driving OK with one?” I asked him.

“Is that a polite way of asking me to let go of you?”
He responded.
I felt embarrassed that he figured me out and I

smiled.
“Don’t worry I’m driving just fine” he said.
When we got home a lot of things went through my

mind especially the way he fed me the cake.
I felt very strange, something strange I had never

felt before. I wanted Mr. Atusaye to be that nice to
me all the time, I wanted him to do those special
things always.
He finally pulled over and he turned to look at me.
“We are here.. I don’t eat after all” he said.
I smiled and nodded my head.
“I got you this” he said as he handed me a medium

sized paper bag which had a box inside.
“What is this?” I asked as I opened it.
“Wow.. This perfume…. my aunty uses it” I said as I

looked at the fantasy by Britney Spears perfume.
“Thank you Mr. Atusaye..” I said.

“No dear let’s practice my name again. Its Atusaye
not Mr. Bla bla.” He said.
“It sounds very disrespectful” I opposed.
Mr Atusaye ran his hand through my hair as he got

closer to me and I was afraid he would reach for my
lips.
“Sir I should be going now” I said before quickly

walking out of the car.
“Lord what was that????” I thought as shivers went

through my spine.
################
The following morning Atusaye was dressed formal

ready to go for work. I was in the kitchen making
breakfast for Mrs. Martins when he greeted me.
“Good morning beautiful” he said.
“Morning Atu” I responded.
“Wow someone lost her respect” he teased.
“don’t worry I’m joking” he added.

After I took the food to Mrs Martins bedroom, I
came back and Atusaye gave me a K100 note
saying I should get airtime.
“You still didn’t tell me why you are being nice to

me” I said.
“Because I would be a fool not to be” he

responded.
I didn’t know what that meant but I did myself a big

favour by cutting the conversation short before Mrs.
Martins could find us.
Stella had already reported for work and she was

cleaning the dinning room when Atu and i had our
mini chat.
“Please make breakfast for me too ” he said.
I quickly prepared him tea and he sat to eat in the

kitchen as I cleared around.
Before he could go, he asked for my phone and he

used it to give himself a missed call.
“I will call you” he said.
##########*#*****##
Atusaye had just left when Stella pulled me aside.

“Mwansa what on earth was that?” Stella
questioned me.
“What?He was just being nice.” I responded.
“Yes typical of him.. Now be careful because you

will be the next victim” she said.
“Victim? Victim of what?” I asked.
“Mr Atusaye is a collector of good things. You are

beautiful my dear so obviously he just wants to use
you” she said.
“Stella… Is that how he really is?” I asked in shock.
“Of course or did you think he was just being nice

to you? I hope nothing serious has happened
between you two.”
“No.. No why would I allow such a thing? I asked

her.
” great then from now onwards avoid him. I’ve

warned you” Stella said.
I went back to work but still couldn’t get the lovely

night off my mind, the more I thought about it the
more I felt butterflies in my stomach.
I was upset with myself for allowing such thoughts
to cross my mind. Anyway Stella was right, I had to
wake up from my slumber and face reality.
Reality was that God had blessed me with a good

job and i would do my best to keep it.
Tbc
The rest of the day was smooth with Stella, she

took every opportunity to tip me about Atusaye. I
was shocked how much she knew about him but it
was obvious. She had worked for them for a long
time after all.
The older maid was busy with laundry the rest of

the day so it was Stella and I chatting as we did our
duties.
Mrs. Martins did not wake up very well so I

attended to most of her needs. As usual she
reminded me that I needed to rest for the afternoon
before I could go and prepare dinner so I took off to
go to my apartment.
However, I suddenly realised I had not seen my

phone in a while and I remembered that I had left it
in the kitchen so I hurried back to get it.
To my surprise the phone wasn’t in the kitchen

where I left it but I found it in the living room.
Another part convinced me that I probably left it
there.
The moment I got to my apartment i fell asleep and

only woke up to a loud bang.
“I’m coming” I responded as I got up from my bed.
I quickly opened the door and Atusaye walked in.
“Atu what’s the problem?” I asked as I let him in.
“What’s the problem really?” He responded angrily.
“I actually thought highly of you, guess I was very

wrong” he said.
“Atusaye what do you mean by that?” I asked

anxiously
“Actually I would prefer you call me Mr. Atusaye

and let’s cut this whole pretense short” he said
before walking out.
He quickly drove out of the yard and I rushed to the

main house.
“Stella I need to talk to you right away” I said as I

pulled her outside.
“Did you get my phone to make a call or send a
Message? I asked her.
” of course not, did you lose talk time? She asked

me.
“That’s not even an issue, Mr. Atusaye stormed into

my apartment very angry and he yelled at me. He
actually mentioned that he was disappointed in me”
I narrated as I panicked.
Stella laughed and clapped her hands.
“Relax.. Is that why you are panicking? Can’t

believe you thought I’m behind it. She said
I didn’t understand her joy so I stared at her in

shock.
” what are you talking about? I Asked
” I’m laughing at everything you are narrating

because it all sounds familiar” she said.
“Wait Stella you mean you know Atusaye so well

and you couldn’t warn me beforehand?” I
complained.
“Well dear be grateful that you did not end up like I

did” she said.
“What did he do?” I asked attentively.
“He robbed me of my pride and dignity then turned

around and blamed it on me. Just like he’s doing
with you” she said
“Your pride and dignity?” I asked looking very

confused.
“Yes my virginity!” She emphasised.
My stomach suddenly turned when she said that

and I felt disgusted.
I was so disappointed, why would he behave like

that and to make matters worse he did not even
explain himself neither did he wait for me to explain
myself.
The following days that followed were awkward.

Every time Atusaye was home I had to avoid him or
he would avoid me, we were just a spark. I had no
intentions of dating him but his behaviour made me
feel rejected.
How could a night that went so good turn out that

bad. Even though I should have been grateful that
he did not use me, I was still angry that things
turned out the way they did.
The following day Mrs. Martins sent me to buy
airtime but Atusaye was going out at the same time
so she asked him to give me a lift.
Atusaye was quiet the whole way until we got to the

airtime booth. After I purchased the airtime he
drove me to the house and parked outside the gate.
Before I could walk out of the car he pulled my

hand. I turned to face him as my other hand held on
to the door.
I could tell he had something to say but he just

looked at me and then slowly let go of my hand.
I came out of the car feeling very bad. For a

moment this man Actually made me feel special
and now he had just turned around and showed his
true colours. Guess Stella was right.
Anyway guess I was foolish to think that he would

actually like a person like me.
This awkwardness went on for weeks and finally a

month, it was almost two months and I was used to
how things were so formal between Mr. Atusaye
and I. In fact we rarely made contact
################
That evening Mr. Martins was coming back home
and I was finally going to meet the much talked
about wonderful man.
I remained busy preparing supper while Atusaye

went with Mrs. Martins to pick up Mr. Martins.
Stella was asked to stay behind and help me

prepare dinner. So that night she was going to
share the bed with me.
We prepared dinner as we talked. It was interesting

having a friend around and Stella was that one
friend I could tell anything.
Stella also mentioned how Mr. Martin’s was such a

wonderful man and how he would obviously treat
me like a daughter.
She was right, Mr. Martin’s was a very happy white

man. He wasn’t old at all like i had imagined and he
was so excited to see me, I assumed Mrs. Martin’s
had told him a lot of things about me.
Mr Martins suggested that we have dinner together,

so the whole family including Stella and myself ate
together.
After dinner we started clearing the plates while

Atusaye sat and worked on his laptop in the
kitchen. The kitchen was very big so he wasn’t
disturbing at all but what baffled me was why he
was there in the first place, it’s not like the other
rooms were occupied and Mr and Mrs. Martins had
gone to bed.
When Stella had told me about Atusaye she

sounded very bitter but around him she was very
different. It’s like a certain calmness had reached
touched her.
The two kept conversation and most of it was

initiated by Stella while I went on working. In fact I
hardly heard anything they said except when the
conversation just started.
When I was done packing the dishes I excused

myself to go and sleep but Stella wanted to remain
although she joined me a little while later.
“Can you imagine he was insisting that I kiss him?

He’s such a womaniser” she said as she sat on my
bed.
I didn’t respond but I just continued putting some

cream on my washed face and tacked into bed.
“Why do you look angry?” She asked me.
“No I’m not angry mama I’m just tired and Atusaye
is the last person I want to discuss before I sleep.” I
responded.
“Do you want to pray with me before you sleep or
are you going to be talking about Atusaye all
night?” I asked her.
“OK you lead in prayer” she said.
We prayed and I quickly fell asleep afterwards.
In the morning Mrs. Martin’s called me and told me

to be ready as i would be going shopping with
Atusaye.
I quickly bathed and dressed up while Atusaye

waited in the car for me. Stella seemed to be the
one with the mood in the morning as she seemed
angry about my going shopping with Atusaye.
When I got in the car I fastened the sit belt and

Atusaye started the engine in silence. We did not
even exchange greetings.
We parked at a beautiful house and there came

Claudine walking like the world belonged to her.
She came and rudely opened the door for me.
“I have to sit in front go to the back” she said.
Atusaye looked on in silence as I quickly stepped

out to go to the back.
She didn’t greet me either but I cared less about
that too.
As we went from aisle to aisle in the store Atusaye

kept telling me what I needed to pick while
Claudine kept talking carelessly, I wonder how he
managed to keep up with her.
Suddenly I heard a very familiar voice as I picked

chocolate from the shelf
“Is that Mwansa?” The voice said
“Come on Mwansa can’t look that good” another

voice replied.
There they were, my twin cousins Joy and Faith.
“Hai, how are you?” I said.
The twins came closer to say hai while Atusaye and

Claudine looked on.
“You know them?” Atusaye asked.
“Of course she knows us, she worked for us” Joy
replied.
That statement alone shuttered me.

“Atusaye how do you know her?” Faith asked.
I was shocked to realise that my uncle and Mr.

Martins worked together in the mines and that’s
how Atusaye knew them.
“They’ve been to our home a couple of times.” he

responded
“Wow its a small world” I said.
‘Its really a small world so you said she worked for

you? As what exactly!?” Claudine interfered
I could tell Atusaye tried to come to my rescue by

destructing the twins but it was too late. Faith had
already shouted out that I was a maid.
“But why work as a maid when she has such a

relative like Mrs. Martins who is wealthy?” Asked
Claudine.
“Who? Mrs. Martins is Mwansa’s relative?” Joy

asked before they burst into laughter
“What? Why are you ladies laughing” Claudine

asked.
“I can bet on everything pure that she isn’t related

to Mrs. Martins. She is simply a maid and she has
poverty running through her veins” Joy responded.
Tears had accumulated in my eyes and I was
seconds away from crying.
“No you ladies just don’t know otherwise Atusaye

would have told me” Claudine said.
“Or maybe, he actually lied to you” faith interrupted.
“I don’t want to talk about this… Great seeing you

ladies” Atusaye said before asking me to move on.
“I had a feeling something wasn’t right” Claudine

continued.
“Enough Claudine i said I don’t want to talk about

this anymore! Atusaye yelled.
Tears had rolled down my face and people were

suddenly wondering what was wrong with me.
Mwansa go to the car park will find you there”

Atusaye said.
I walked out quickly and stood waiting for them to

check out. I cried terribly, i cried so bad that nothing
could explain the embarrassment I felt.
They finally came out and I quickly sat in the car

when Atusaye unlocked the doors.
“Come out you fool who do you think will pack
these things! you’re the maid after all!!” Yelled
Claudine.
“Stop it!!! Don’t talk to her like that ever again!”

Atusaye yelled.
“Or what? Tell me Atusaye or what??” She yelled

back.
I finished packing the boot and we started off.

Atusaye was very quiet until we dropped Claudine.
“Look am very sorry about what happened”

Atusaye said as he parked near home.
“Please say something at least before we get

home” he begged.
Tears rolled down my cheeks even more.
“Let’s just go, everything that happened there isn’t

your fault” I said…
“At least let me make you feel better” he said.
“And then turn around and give me a mood again?

What happened the last time you made me feel
better? Please let’s just go I’m not complaining” I
said in tears.
“Aren’t you the one who told me that I was
bothering you and you would report me for sexual
harassment?” He asked me.
“I don’t know what you are talking about please let’s

just go I don’t want to discuss this any more” I said.
“Mwansa listen to me.. I want to be sure I got your

message correctly”
“What message? are you still maintaining that lie?

Do you still want to blame me for nothing????
” me blame you? Exactly why would i do that!!??

He yelled
“I’m a maid for crying out loud, a simple maid what

makes you think anything you offer me today will
change that status? And besides its all for your
personal again. Atusaye just stop!” I cried.
“My personal gain? OK that’s going a little too far.

Mwansa tell me that you don’t appreciate my
friendship and I will let you go” he said.
“Appreciate your friendship? There’s not been a

friendship for the past two months, it lasted a few
days before you ..”
“Before i did what? Why can’t you just take the

blame!” Atusaye yelled.
I burst into a loud cry as I covered my face with my
palms.
“OK fine stop crying. I get your point. I won’t bother

you again” he said calmly.
“Please dry your tears.. I’m really sorry” he said

before starting the engine.
Tbc
When we got home I helped take the items in the

house while Stella talked to Atusaye.
Mrs. Martin’s was in the living room and she asked

me to join her as soon as I finished packing.
I quickly packed up and joined Mrs. Martins in the

living room.
“How are you dear?” She greeted me.
“Am well thank you” I responded as I settled on the

couch.
“Dear I called you here to let you know that my

sisters will be coming back this evening. They have
some big personalities but they are very nice. One
of them is your age mate actually and the other one
is slightly older” she said.
“Well I just wanted to tell you that” she said.
“Oh OK.. Thank you Mrs. Martins” she said.
I was ready for another chapter with the ladies

around, maybe that would help me forget about
Atusaye
When I stepped outside Stella and Atusaye were

still talking so I bypassed them to go to my
apartment.
“When people are talking you join in the

conversation” Stella said teasingly.
“No I’m good” I responded as I passed.
“You promised to take me for a drink” Stella said to

Atusaye.
I did not bother to hear Atusaye’s response as I

walked on, it was really none of my business.
Stella came to get her few items saying she was

going for a drink with Atusaye. She had just
knocked off so I figured she was telling the truth.
Reading was my comfort so every time I had a lot

on my mind I chose to read. However, I was feeling
something different. I didn’t want to read or
document my life anymore. I still wanted to write
but this time I had a different view. I wanted to write
how i was feeling because I was feeling something.
Something I couldn’t explain.
I got a pen and a new book which I had not yet

scribbled in. Thoughts went through my mind but I
couldn’t come up with a title except “to whom it may
concern” . slowly inspiration came and I jotted down
my feelings:
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.
I don’t know how I feel but I know I feel something.

A lonely girl shuttered inside, I wish i could escape
my reality even just for a moment and go back to
that moment when he asked me to join him for
dinner.
I wish I could go back to the time he met me and

change my route. Maybe if I got a bus to the village
I wouldn’t be feeling this way.
Am I ungrateful? How can I describe this feeling?.

Its a feeling that over powers me. I could give up on
everything i have just to live that night once More.
Oh life! How selfish can you be?. One moment you
wave happiness in my face and the next minute I
am breathing pain.
I long for that day and night, for when he fed me
that cake the whole world stopped and when he
held my hand its like heaven was clapping for me.
I hate to admit my feelings and in fact I hate to even

have these feelings. Lonely be no my heart or my
body will grow weary. I’m not ungrateful.. I’m just a
girl who doesn’t understand her feelings.
################
As I prepared dinner in the main house my heart

ached as I counted the hours that Atusaye had
been out. What was wrong with me? Atusaye was
engaged and very much taken.
I had never felt this way for anybody and I was

worried this feeling would hurt me eventually.
Just went I was getting done with dinner Atusaye

came home with Clara and Joy. The ladies were
beautiful and very friendly.
They were excited to be home and they quickly

introduced themselves.
“My name is Clara I come after Atusaye” Clara said
“And am Joy, I’m the baby of the family” she

giggled.
“I am Mwansa the house maid…”
“No no you don’t use that word, you are family” Joy
interrupted.
“We don’t have maids here” Joy added.
Atusaye had gone straight to the bedroom when

they arrived.
I started setting the table and the ladies offered to

help making my job easier. I was impressed at how
good the girls were to me.
Mr and Mrs Martin’s had not left there room until it

was time for supper.
Mr. Martin’s asked me to stay behind for supper

and i joined everyone one on the dinner table.
It was very weird sitting opposite Atusaye as we

both tried to ignore each other. Everyone kept
conversation except Atusaye and I.
“Atu it’s very unusual for you to be quiet.. What’s

happening?” Clara teased.
“I’m enjoying my food” he responded without

looking at her.
After dinner the ladies offered to do the dishes and
I went to my apartment.
I was just about to tack in when my phone rang.
“Hello”..
” hai please come outside ” Atusaye said.
“Outside where?” I asked.
Outside the gate. I’m parked outside the gate. I

want us to talk somewhere will be back shortly” he
said.
“But where are we going it’s late and Mrs. Martins

might..’
” she is sleeping” he interrupted.
“No.. I can’t.. I’m sorry” I responded before hanging

up.
My heart raced and every part of me wanted to go

but I couldn’t. After saying a short quick prayer I
turned my phone off and covered my face.
Suddenly I heard a loud bang almost like someone

was trying to break down my door.
I quickly opened the door and there he was, my
weakness.
‘Mwansa if you don’t want to come with me then

you and I will talk from here” he said.
“Its not safe here we might give the security guard

unnecessary ideas” I opposed.
“Then you know what to do” he said.
“OK let me change I’m coming” I responded.
Atusaye sat and waited on my door step as I

change
Tbc
TEARS OF A HELPLESS WOMAN 12
“Are you done?” He asked me.
“Yes im almost done.. give me two minutes” I

responded.
“I will go before you and you can follow me slowly”

he said.
When Atusaye was out of sight, I tip toed to the

gate and pretended to be busy on my phone when I
reached security
Atusaye was already in the car and off we drove to
a secluded place where he found a spot to park.
###############
“Mwansa do you think I’m after your body?” He

asked as he turned off the engine.
I didn’t know what to say so my head hang low as

my eyes focussed on my lap
Atusaye grabbed my right hand and changed his

sitting position to face me.
“Look at me” he said.
I wasn’t ready so I ignored him and kept staring on

my lap.
“My love look at me” he said calmly.
My mind went crazy and my stomach became hot

just by hearing his voice utter those words.
Did I hear him correctly or was I imagining things.

Was he playing with me?
“Mwansa my love” he said as he played with my

hand..
” I’m not going to beat about the bush. I can’t stand
it anymore. I think am in love” Atusaye said.
I was so shocked to hear him say those words and

it was then that I lifted my head to look at him.
“Please stop.. You can’t be telling me that Atusaye

you are engaged”.. I responded.
” yes I am but so what?. Is it my fault?” He

responded.
Oh dear Lord this wasn’t funny.. Everything in me

was jiggling.
“Am waiting for your response” he said.
“I have nothing to say. I just want to go home” I said

while still hoping he doesn’t take me home.
Atusaye got his phone from the pocket and opened

a message which was sent from my phone.
” I know you didn’t write this message” he said.
When I read through the message I was truly

shocked.
“Why would she do this?” I said.

“Oh… So you already have an idea who it is” he
said.
“It should be Stella . yes it just has to be Stella” I

said to convince myself.
“That’s right.. I thought about it and I noticed her

behaviour today” he said.
“When you went clubbing? How was it by the way?”

I asked
“Who went clubbing?” Atusaye asked me calmly
“Did she lie about that too?” I asked.
Atusaye laughed and clapped his hands.
“Stella never ceases to amuse me” he said.
“I want to hear everything she’s ever told you about

me”
“No .. Its not important it won’t change anything” I

responded.
“Please am begging you. I’m just trying to clear my

name so you know how genuine I am ” he said
“And then?” I asked.

“Your eyes are the window to your heart Mwansa
and even though you can’t admit it, I know how you
feel” he said.
I looked down and again afraid of admitting my

feelings.
“Why did you leave her after using her?” I asked.
“Is that what you will do to me too? I’m an orphan.

I’ve got no where to go” I said.
“Did you listen to what you just said? Do you even

believe what you are saying?” He asked me.
“I don’t know. I don’t even want to know” I

responded.
“Why? Because you are afraid that it might actually

hurt you?”
“Atusaye what do you want from me? Please just

tell me” I said.
“Can you at least look at me while you ask that

question” he responded.
“No I can’t..” I responded shyly.
” you’re so naive and innocent. I just love it” He said

in a soft voice.
“You already said it.. My eyes are the window to my
heart” I responded
Atusaye lifted my chin up and without even thinking

I allowed him to kiss me. I couldn’t even stop him or
even pull away.
If I had to describe the feeling I would say…. No i

really can’t describe the feeling but it was almost
like I owned the world.
“I’m sorry” Atusaye said as he pulled away.
“Please take me home” I said.
” Mwansa.. There’s hope. There’s really hope for

you and i.” He said.
My eyes failed me and tears quickly rolled down my

cheeks.
“I hate to see you cry Mwansa, what did I do

wrong?. Please forgive Me. You have to stop
shedding tears”
” I don’t know what this feeling is but it over powers

me. I have no strength to fight it but neither can I
escape it” I said.
“Well then fight for it” he said.

“How?”
“Believe in me And hold my hand” he said.
“I can’t believe you Atusaye.. You are engaged to

be married and…”
“Of course I am engaged to the most arrogant

woman on earth!” He interrupted.
“OH and did you just realise that? You must have
known well before today but no… you’re telling me
you didn’t know until I showed up in your life?” I
said as cried. I could hear myself shouting but a lot
of things were going through my mind.
“She was my first love.. She had basically showed

me the world of dating and yes I didn’t know things
would get to this between you and i. If I knew I
would have not brought you to my sisters house in
the first place” he said
“Oh.. So you would have left me on the streets

looking for a place to live” I asked in shock
“No we would be telling a different story today. Yes

it was mare attraction at first but slowly turned out
serious. After that birthday dinner I knew something
had to be there, something more than just mare
attraction” he said.
Atusaye pecked my forehead and later wiped my
tears with his hands.
“Atusaye please what we are doing isn’t right. Let’s

go home and let’s forget about everything. You
know we come from two different worlds and the
last thing I needed is this kind of assurance… It will
take me nowhere” he said.
“My mother always told me that In the abundance

of water, a fool is thirsty. He responded.
” what does that mean?” I asked
“I can’t let this opportunity pass me by.. The

opportunity of being with a wonderful lady like
yourself. If I end up miserable after this it will be my
choice” he said
“Atusaye don’t make promises you can’t keep,

please let’s just forget this and let’s go home” I
interrupted.
“Come on let’s take a walk outside” he insisted.
“No that’s not necessary. I think its time to go

home” I opposed.
“Please I just want you to see something, I promise

we won’t be long” he said.
I opened the door and came out, he locked up
before holding my hand and we started walking
Atusaye tapped his phone and said he had a

dedication for me. So I waited and finally the song
started playing. It was a track by Israel “hold on”.
He specifically recited the words ” fili oko tuleya ni

gwililile chabe babe”
“You remind me of myself Mwansa” Atusaye said.
“How?” I asked
“Well we weren’t always comfortable, I lost my dad

when I was quite young and mum became a maid.”
He said.
“Really? I would have never imagined” I responded.
I was filled with shock because Atusaye

looked like a man who had it all from birth.
“Yes Mwansa my mum worked for Mr. Martins dad,

by then Mr. Martins was a child up until he grew up.
Mr Martins fell in love with my sister and that’s how
our lives changed” he said.
“No .. That’s not true. It sounds too good to be

true..” I said.
“That was exactly my reaction when I heard that he
was going to sponsor my education. He educated
us all. I have great respect for that man. He is my
second father” he said.
“Wow this God is amazing” I said as I looked up.
“Yes he is….. so you see why this arrangement

isn’t strange for me?” He asked
I looked at him and smiled.
“You’re blessed” is all I said.
“And so are you” he responded
“I’m scared Atusaye”
Atusaye stopped and he hugged me tight.
“I know.. But you don’t have to be. Just lean on me”

he said.
“I’m confused Atusaye.. I’m so confused” I said as I

rested my head on his chest
“You have every right to be because I am too but I

want to be more than your friend. I want to give this
friendship a chance. Please give me this chance”
Atusaye whispered
“And Claudine?” I asked.
Before Atusaye could even answer me his phone

started ringing.
“Honey hold on a second let me just pick this call”

Atusaye said as he moved away from me.
His face suddenly changed when he looked at his

phone. His facial expression was worrying and I
saw he was panicking.
“My sister is calling.. She rarely calls when I’m out.”

Atusaye said.
” Could she be aware that am with you?” I asked in

panic.
Atusaye didn’t respond but we rushed to the car. I

had left my phone in the car and when I got there
my phone started ringing. It was Mrs. Martins who
was now calling my line.
“Oh Lord I am finished!!!”

Tbc
“Relax and just hope for the best” Atusaye said.

Atusaye gave me a kiss and he asked me to calm
down again before starting the engine
As we approached we suddenly saw smoke

escaping the yard.
“Oh my God what is happening..” Atusaye said as

he looked in shock.
He pulled over houses away and we both rushed to

the house as there was a crowd and fire men were
trying to stop the fire.
I was confused and so many thoughts ran through

my mind. Atusaye managed to ran before me and
he pushed himself through the crowd.
I overhead people saying someone had died and I

was shuttered. What did we do? Perhaps if we
were home this wouldn’t have happened.
I was hysterical and I knew I was in trouble. I was

bad luck on the family. Who had died? Why did I
allow myself to get into his car?..
As thoughts ran through my head something was

clear, if I stayed behind the wrath I would face
would be too much. I had to go.
Without even thinking about it, I started running. I
ran so fast as I cried. I ran just as I was with
nothing in my hands.
“Lord please forgive me…. Forgive me dear Lord” I

cried as I ran.
I passed through thorny bushes and I noticed some

bleeding on my legs but I kept running through the
plots.
My legs were now feeling pain and I finally stopped

running.
I was far away from the house but I could see the
smoke escape into the sky.
I had no idea what time it was or where I was

going.
As I walked on I came across some unfinished

building which had a roof on one side. I wondered
who lived there or if someone actually lived there.
“I need a place to lay my head” I thought.
I slowly walked into the building and noticed it was

empty. It was quite dark but I had no choice, I sat in
the corner and quickly fell asleep.
#################
The sun hit my face from the large window opening
and I stretched myself. It was morning and I had no
where to go and no food to eat. I couldn’t face my
life or my problems, I had to start afresh.
My legs had many tiny bruises but luckily the blood

had clotted
When I stepped outside I couldn’t even recognise

where I was or which route I had taken. A lot of
farms surrounded the area and people were few.
I saw a bicycle coming from a distance with a man

who was singing out loud.
“Excuse me sir I need directions to the main road” I

said.
The man and I could not understand each other as

he spoke a very strange language.
A few cars by passed me and none of them

stopped to ask where I was going.
I saw a very nice mansion that was on a huge farm.

The mansion looked like it was owned by a wealthy
person, the first thought that crossed my mind was
to go and ask for a job.
After hitting the gate many times I finally gave up
and sat on the pavement near the gate. Almost an
hour passed and suddenly a van came and parked
at the gate, a white old woman was driving the van.
“Excuse me dear how can I help you?” She said.
I quickly got up and looked at her.
“I am looking for a job” I said.
“A job? Where are you from?” She asked me.
I decide to give her my uncles address and

explained everything concerning my uncle while
omitting Mrs. Martins.
“Dear kindly open the gate for me and come in too”

she said
She drove in and I closed the gate before I walked

to the house.
I was welcomed by a man who was about

Atusaye’s age. He was also white.
“This is my son his name is Shane” she said.
Shane and I shook hands and we entered in the

house together. I was led into the sitting room of
the beautiful mansion and I sat next to the woman
who was still unknown.
She offered me food and we sat talking as she

encouraged me. The woman who I now knew as
aunty Bertha offered me a room where I could
spend a night and she left the house to do some
grocery shopping.
As I sat in the room I thought of my Darling

Atusaye, he must have been wondering where I
was and why I had decided to run away. Tears
rolled my cheeks and I wiped them quickly, maybe
he would marry Claudine after all… I thought
################
I had been at aunty Bertha’s house for a week,

even though she told me that she had no job for
me, she did not chase me. She was also kind
enough to buy me a couple of clothes.
Aunty Bertha was a wonderful woman, she lost her

husband to a young Zambian girl who he eloped
with and now she was staying with her 5 children.
Although Shane was the only one at home the time
I spent with her.
Shane was nice and funny, he loved to cook a lot

and he liked to get me involved when he was
cooking.
One afternoon aunty Bertha called me to the living
room after she returned home.
“Dear I’m not sure if I have anything for you

concerning work but I ran an orphanage, its not
around this place its quite a distance from here”
she said.
I listened attentively as she spoke.
“My orphanage is in an area called 15miles, you

mentioned that you ended in 7th grade right?. She
asked me.
” yes mum” i responded.
“What can I offer you?….” She said as she looked

up to think for a moment.
“Madam I can read and write very well. I just don’t

have qualifications” I responded.
“Is it? Are you Christian?” She asked me.
“I know and love the Lord so much but I don’t

belong to a church and I am not baptised. I never
had the chance to” I responded.
“Would you like to be?” She asked me.

“Yes I would love to move my faith further, I believe
God has truly been there for me” I said.
“That’s good. I really like you.” She said
“I will give you a few short novels that you can read
through for now and they have questions at the
end. I will assess you based on those books” she
said.
“You can sit in the living room over there and let me
know when you are done” she said.
I went to the living room and aunty Bertha gave me

the two books to read.
The books were very interesting and I quickly

started answering the questions.
When aunty Bertha saw my answers she was so

impressed. She even asked me to read a chapter
and she said my pronunciations were perfect.
“My dear you have really impressed me with your

work” she said.
“We have a literacy class which we introduced and

we have been looking for people that could take up
this class. Your job will be reading stories to them
and making sure they can also read and
understand. The children will move from one book
at a time depending on how well they do” aunty
Bertha said
“Do you think you can manage that?” She asked

me
I smiled and nodded my head. .
“Madam it will be my pleasure” I responded.
” that’s wonderful then you can start tomorrow” she

said
I was so excited and I thanked her a lot.
“The orphanage has houses for members of staff

so you can occupy one there, I would however
encourage you to start furthering your studies. Most
teachers there are doing so” she said.
“Madam i would love to go back to school” I

responded.
Shane, aunty Bertha’s son drove me to the

orphanage in the afternoon.
He was very jovial and narrated a lot of things

about the orphanage to me.
When we arrived he went to the staff room to get

the keys for my new house while I waited in the car.
Shane came back with a set of keys and he
unlocked my house. The house had three
bedrooms, nicely built and well furnished too. I was
shocked.
“You will get your free dstv subscription this month

but starting next month you take care of the bill”
Shane said with a smile.
“Oh thanks sir,” I said.
“Most of the houses are occupied so you should

have company. I will be leaving now. Take care” he
said.
When Shane left I went round the apartment and I

still couldn’t believe my eyes.
A lot of things were running through my mind and I

thanked God that this was a new step further to
realise my dreams.
I still mourned Atusaye so badly but i was

comforted by the fact that he had declared his love
for me and that will be the memory I would live with
forever. I wished I had stayed but then again I knew
my route with Atusaye was dangerous and if the
Lord wanted me back there he wouldn’t have made
provision for me through aunty Bertha.
“Stop crying Mwansa, it is well. Where ever the
Lord leads us.. It is well” I said to myself.
Tbc
Shane and I had bought some food before he

dropped me home so I prepared some of it for
supper.
I showered and sat in the living room to eat as I

watched television. The Martin’s family were on my
mind but sometimes you’ve got to make choices
and I knew running away was the best decision I
made. It was right for me and if it wasn’t, God
would not have allowed aunty Bertha into my life.
I still wanted to know who had died in the Martin’s

home but deep inside I felt OK. I knew they were
better off without me. How was I going to face Mrs.
Martins and tell her that I was in love with Atusaye?
What would be her reaction if she realised how
ungrateful I had been to start dating her brother
knowing fully well that he was engaged.
I didn’t expect anyone to understand but I knew

fully well that this was right for me.
The following morning I bathed early and got ready

to meet aunty Bertha by the school. As I walked on
I met a couple of teachers who were pleased to see
me.
One of them was Salifyanji, a beautiful lady who
was a grade one teacher. She took me round the
school before classes could commence.
Aunty Bertha came in around 9 and she gave me a

contract to sign. I couldn’t believe it. She was
offering me a K3,500 pay. Indeed everything was
changing for good.
I had one class where children came in at different

periods for reading. It had a huge plasma TV on the
was were children watched cartoons to aid the
learning process, Shane was my instructor that day
and I was told he would be coming until I was up to
date with the teaching system.
I met with the teachers at mid day in the staff room

and they all seemed very fine.
Salifyanji introduced me to the other members of

staff and she also showed me the nearby market.
I was tired on the first day but by the end of the

week I was now familiar with how the system
operated.
################
Salifyanji had come to visit me Saturday afternoon

and we had a long conversation.
“So its been a week how has it been so far?”
Salifyanji asked me.
“Well its been great and I’m happy” I responded

with a smile.
“Actually aunty Bertha mentioned that I could enroll

into school if I wanted, I really do want to write my
grade 7 examinations” I said.
“Oh.. The system here is Cambridge and we have a

lot of material if you are able to study hard you
could even write in 6months time.. besides its not
difficult” she said.
“Ha.. Really? I asked with excitement.
” yes and we have other teachers doing the same.

I’m in 12th grade myself and I’ve specialised in
mathematics and sciences ” she said
“I want to register as soon as possible” I said.
“We can do that on monday and am sure you will

catch up” she said .
“Are you married?” She asked me
I burst into laughter immediately.

“Would I honestly leave my husband behind?” I
responded as I giggled.
“With this kind of economy dear.. Everything is

possible” she said.
“But you do have a boyfriend right?” She asked.
“No dear I love someone I cannot be with” I said.
“I want to hear all the details” she said.
I narrated my whole story to her and she looked at

me in shock.
“You went through all that?” She asked
“Yes dear but I count it all joy” I said.
“You are strong I don’t know if I would survive” she

said.
“I have forgiven my relatives… It’s all good” I said
“No I’m not talking about your relatives.. You are

strong in the sense that you are far away from your
true love and you don’t even want to look back” she
said.
“Please don’t remind me about my past. I have

moved on” I responded.
I must say it was hard to sleep that night especially
because I had talked about my one true love.
All I did was study whenever I was home and

sometimes even at school when I was free.
The tuitions were great and I was catching up really

fast.
Time flew by really fast and I was now a week away

from my final examinations. The past months had
been hard but I had become stronger
That day The driver was going into town so asked

for a lift as I was going to buy some house supplies
and what I needed for the exam.
I had just been paid that months allowance so I

made time to pass through a boutique to get a few
clothes. I must say i was doing well for myself and
could afford nice clothes, perfumes and food.
I was trying on a beautiful dress in the changing

room when I suddenly heard a familiar female
voice. It sounded like Mrs. Martin’s voice.
I quickly changed and rushed out. On my way out I

saw the two ladies Joy and Clara. I also overheard
Clara ask for bridesmaids dresses.
Outside I saw a car parked and Mr. Martins was
inside while holding a beautiful baby girl. I was so
blown away and touched by the child’s beauty, she
was a photocopy of Mrs. Martin’s.. I rushed away
quickly hoping not to see anybody else familiar.
A part of me wished I had at least seen a glimpse

of my love but I didn’t.
When I got home my heart wasn’t at peace, I just

couldn’t imagine who was getting married. It had to
be him. It had to be Atusaye. I thanked God in my
heart although it hurt so bad.
If it was meant to be it sure would have worked one

way or another. My life was falling into place and I
guess Atusaye’s had to as well.
The exam was great and I straight away enrolled

for my next exam which I gave myself only 4months
to prepare for. I sacrificed a lot of sleep but I had to.
My life was never certain and life had taught me to
never take anything for granted.
Tbc
One afternoon as I was hanging my clothes Shane

came to my house looking very excited.
I was wondering what was going on so I looked at
him in surprise hoping he would break the news to
me.
“Mwansa guess what!” He said excitedly.
“No I don’t want to guess just tell me” I responded

reluctantly.
Shane quickly pulled a paper from his pocket and

stretched it out to me.
“My hands are wet Shane please just read it out” I

said.
“Its you exam transcript” he said.
I quickly wiped my hands and grabbed the

transcript.
“Ahhhhhh!!!!!” I screamed as I jumped up and

down.
“You did it!” Shane shouted with Joy. I was so

excited and Shane lifted me and spun me around.
Shane hugged me tightly and I felt uncomfortable

suddenly.
“Uhmm Shane” I whispered as I pat his back so he

could let go of me.
“Oh I’m sorry” he said as he pulled away.
“Its ok.. Oh Jesus! I just can’t believe I did it” I

sighed
“We need to celebrate this great achievement”

Shane said.
“For sure and I will make sure I study really hard for
the next exam and I will make it in Jesus name!”
“Amen!” Shane shouted
I quickly hang the clothes on the line and changed

as Shane waited for me.
Its only after I was in the car with him that my mind
actually opened. This could actually be a date and
here I was following him foolishly. Another part
rebuked me, there’s no way it would be a date.
When we approached town he asked me where he

wanted us to go and I was blank.
The first place that came to my mind was protea

hotel, its the only place I had been to.
“Where ever you would like us to go” I responded.

I was busy on my phone uploading some photos on
Instagram when Shane informed me that we had
arrived.
“Protea hotel…” I said slowly as i looked up.
“Yes dear am sure you will like it here..” He said.
I unfastened my seatbelt before walking out.

Atusaye was on my mind the whole time and the
night he took me there.
Shane locked the door and held my hand just like

Atusaye did and off we walked inside. I can’t
describe the pain I felt at that moment. My heart
longed for my true love and he was nowhere close.
As we went up the elevator I was very quiet until we

got up, Shane equally picked the pool area for us to
sit.
“Why are you so quiet?” He asked me.
All I could see was Atusaye but he wasn’t there, I

imagined him very well and that hurt me a lot.
“Do you always come here?” I asked him.
“No I like Radisson blu hotel but I chose this place

for a change. You don’t like it?” He asked me
“No of course I do its beautiful” I said.
We ate dinner and discussed the school as well as

how I was coping with my fellow employees. It was
quite a wonderful evening.
At one point I excused myself and asked to use the

bathroom, but all I wanted was to peep around to
see if my love was anywhere near. Just a glimpse
of him was all I needed
Shane was very funny and he soon took away my

sad mood.
By the time we decided to go it was already past

10pm and we couldn’t believe how time had flown
“Will you manage to drive me?” I asked.
“Its quite late. Let me book you here and I will go

home” he said.
“But is that place safe as well?” I asked.
“Not really you know the farms are not safe” he

said.
“I think will book myself a room here too” he said
“Do you take cocktails?” He asked me.

“No but I would like to try” I responded
“Waiter!” Shane called out.
“Can I have your drinks menu” he said.
The waiter quickly came and handed us two

menus.
“You can pick your choice” he said.
I read through the menu and I was kind of shocked.
“Why do these cocktails have weird names? Who

names a drink ” o----m?” I asked out loud.
Shane burst into laughter.
“You are really funny.. OK I will pick for you. Try”

Long island” he said.
“OK then.. Waiter I will have a long island” I said.
“Hope its not too strong maybe this man wants to

trap me” I said to the waiter.
“You are too funny” he said.
I drank my first cocktail and it tasted really good so

I went for the next one and another one and
another one.
“No you’ve had enough” I heard Shane say as he
grabbed the glass from my hands.
“I can’t get you another one, you are drunk” he

said.
“OK let’s dance” I said.
Shane didn’t hesitate to get up and he held me

close. A beautiful song started playing and we took
to the dance floor.
TEARS OF A HELPLESS WOMAN CHAPTER 16.
A breeze of calmness overwhelmed me and I laid

my head on Shane’s chest as we danced to the
rhythm.
################
It was 10 o’clock according to the time on my

phone when I woke up.
“Mwansa you have embarrassed yourself” I said to

myself.
When I turned I discovered a plastic bag from

foschini on the bed.
“What is in here” I thought to myself as I opened it.

“Oh my God.!!!” I exclaimed.
“This man spent a thousand on a top and bottom. Is

he out of his mind!.I exclaimed.
“No I am not” I heard Shane respond from the

bathroom.
Shane walked in with a towel at the bottom while

shirtless.
I quickly covered my face at the sight of his

wonderful chest
“Nothing is too expensive for you and you can

uncover your face I have a shirt on now” he said.
“Did you sleep………..”
“Yes I slept here but I did nothing to you if that’s

your worry” Shane interrupted.
I took a sigh of relief as I touched my dress to make

sure it was intact
“But why did you sleep here?” I asked.
“Point of correction … I actually didn’t sleep thanks

to your snoring” he said
” I don’t snore”.. I interrupted.

“I want to shower ….” I said as I stood up.
Shane picked a small plastic from the floor and

handed it to me. Inside was 4sets of lingerie.
“This is very uncomfortable for me” I said.
“I know but I knew you would want to change” he

said.
” I will finish dressing and get some breakfast” he

added.
I entered the beautiful bathroom and sat by the

edge of the jacuzzi.
“What is all this?” I asked myself.
As I sat there thinking my eyes noticed the beautiful

bathroom and i imagined just how I would want my
house to look. My own house that is.
I quickly showered and changed into the nice pair

of Jeans and top that Shane was kind enough to
buy for me.
After breakfast we packed up and Shane drove me

home .
###############
The coming months were busy as I had to prepare
for my exam. Shane was a constant visitor and he
had taken me to many beautiful places .
I cleared my second exams and with the help of

aunty Bertha I enrolled to study literature online.
I still hoped that Atusaye and I would meet

someday when I was done with school and no
longer a dependant.
My second birthday since I joined aunty Bertha was

fast approaching. Shane mentioned that he had a
surprise for me but I wasn’t so excited as I was
used to his many surprises. I had grown to trust him
as he had proven to be a good person.
It was just two days to my birthday and i needed an

outfit so I asked Shane to take me into town.
After shopping we stopped over at an Indian

restaurant to get some food.
We had just ordered our food when I received a call

from a friend.
“Shane excuse me I need to pick this” I said.
“Sure go ahead” he replied

I was just about to answer the call when i saw
Claudine. She was looking very beautiful as always
but she had put on some weight. Claudine was with
a baby in front and I could see the baby’s hands
and legs.
My S7 fell from my hands as I stood looking in

shock. Meanwhile Claudine didn’t recognise me as
she bypassed me to enter the restaurant.
I felt hurt inside and tears gathered in my eyes.

Using every strength in me I tried to fight back the
tears as I wondered in thought.
After picking my phone which had luckily survived

the fall, I rushed in the restaurant and told Shane
we had to leave.
“But why? We just made our order?” Shane said.
“I don’t care let’s go!” I said.
Shane gave me the car keys while he went to get a

refund. As I sat in the car I shed tears, I had lost
him for good and this was now a sign for me to
move on.
“I’m not going to ask why you are crying or why you
behaved like that” Shane said as he started the
engine.
“Shane are you going to hurt me?” I asked.
Shane stopped the engine and turned to look at

me.
“Where is this coming from?” He asked me.
“Why would I hurt you?Is this about Atusaye

again?” He asked
“I don’t know I just don’t know anymore. Its been

over a year and I just can’t forget him. Please help
me forget him” I cried.
“Mwansa f you love him why don’t you go back. Go

and look for him” he said.
“No I can’t. I want to be with you now” I said.
“Do you mean that?” Shane asked me.
“Yes.. I have no business with my past” I said.
Shane leaned over and pecked my forehead.
“Promise me you will allow me love you and treat

you right” he said.
“I promise” I responded.
Shane wiped my tears and held my hand.

“Let’s go and tell mum this good news” he said.
“Yes let’s go” I said as I nodded my head.

As we headed to the farm house a lot played on my

mind.
“If aunty Bertha knows that means breaking up will

be hard” I thought.
We went on with the journey until we arrived.

Shane was very excited I could tell and to my
surprise the whole family was home. I met Shane’s
siblings who had come to visit from California after
a while.
We sat to have lunch together and I knew Shane

would pick this opportunity to say something. I was
very uncomfortable and I had to find a way out.
“Honey I don’t feel OK, I need to lie down” i

whispered to Shane who was seated next to me.
“Let me just make the announcement and you can

excuse yourself” he begged.
” oh no I can’t wait that long honey please let’s go.”

I begged.
“OK if you say so.” He whispered angrily
################
“What was the meaning of that?” Shane asked as

we drove home.
“What? I’m not well I just need to rest” I said.
“Oh please Mwansa we both know that you OK” he

said.
I kept quiet to avoid any further discussion and he

turned on the stereo.
When we arrived home I apologised to Shane but

he still didn’t seem very pleased.
“OK I’m not entering the house I will see you soon”
he said.
“Honey i said am sorry”
“Its fine I will see you soon” he said as he pecked

my forehead.
After Shane left I turned on my laptop and started

working on a school assignment.
Obviously I didn’t forget about Claudine and the
baby. The more I tried to concentrate the more she
crossed my mind.
################
It was the morning of my birthday and i was getting

my nails done by a lady near home. Shane had
mentioned that we would meet for lunch so I did
some pampering to look more presentable, not that
I looked bad natural. He wanted the lunch to be
very intimate just the two of us but with Shane you
could never just be sure. The man knew how to
impress.
I didn’t know the location or any other details

associated to the lunch.
By 10 I had bathed and was in my new outfit while I

lightly covered my face in some makeup.
Shane called me around 11 just to make sure I was

ready of which I agreed and he picked me just
before 12.
I was excited about the lunch with Shane and we

would also be putting our previous argument
behind us. When the vehicle made a turn where a
poster read “Protea safari” I knew this would be no
ordinary lunch.
We first of went game viewing for about 30minutes
before we could have lunch. Shane had a lot to say
and we successfully put everything behind us.
As we came back from the park we walked into the

diner only to hear people scream “SURPRISE!!!!!”
oh my God I was so blown away especially when
aunty Bertha led the crowd into a birthday song.
What did I do to deserve the wonderful things that
were happening to me?
We ate lunch together with my workmates as well

as Shane’s family who were actually so nice.
As we ate Shane stood up with a wine glass on his

left hand and a fork on his right.
“Attention. Attention” he said as he tapped the wine

glass with the fork.
“We are here to celebrate the birthday of a very

special woman in my life. Ladies and gentlemen I
will use this opportunity to formally introduce my
girlfriend to you.. Mwansa Honey please stand up”
I slowly stood up just like a princess and Shane

held on to my hand as people cheered.
“Let Mwansa say something” aunty Bertha said.

I wasn’t ready but I had to speak, it was unfair for
me to even think about Atusaye at this point as I
had put an end to this chapter for good. Accepting
Shane meant leaving Atusaye in my past.
“I just wanted to say that I am grateful to God for

according me the chance of knowing such a
wonderful man and I thank you for this birthday
surprise” I said.
Everyone cheered as Shane and I hugged and

shared a peck on our lips.
I cut into the gorgeous 3 tier birthday cake with the

help of Shane and a toast was made in honour of
my contribution to the orphanage. People gave me
the gifts they brought and i was blown away by the
thought they all attached in picking out the gifts for
me.
Aunty Bertha’s gift was the most shocking as she

simply handed me an envelope. I wandered what
was inside and when I opened it. I found two plane
tickets to California. I was so shocked.
“I got you the tickets so you could visit the place

where Shane was born and brought up” she said.
“Mum you didn’t have to.. I had that in mind” Shane

said with a smile.
“Oh come off it, I did it for the two of you besides
you both need to rest you’ve worked a lot.” she said
I was so excited and hugged aunty Bertha, my joy

was unexplainable. So I would finally get to fly and I
would eventually prove my family wrong. They
thought I would die poor but God surely had a plan
for me. He always has a plan for his own.
When the gift exchange was done Shane asked

everyone to go outside to participate in a game he
had planned out for everyone.
Little did I know there was a surprise waiting for me

outside.
A white Mercedes Benz with a large red ribbon on

top was parked outside waiting for me.
At first when we stepped outside I was wondering

what was happening as Shane disappeared from
no where only to see him walk out of the car with a
key in his hand.
He stretched out his hand to give me the key..
“Happy birthday baby” he said.
I covered my mouth in shock as tears quickly rolled

down my face… These weren’t tears of sadness
but of joy.
“Oh God I own a brand new car?” I thought to
myself as tears followed.
################
A lot had happened after my birthday, firstly Shane

took me to driving school and I passed the test. So
I now had a license and I could drive myself
around.
Shane had helped me work on my first novel which

was due to be published in California. We had to
delay Our flight tickets a little longer so I could get
some school work out of the way.
It was finally just 3days before our flight, Shane and

I had just checked in at Radisson blu hotel where
we would spend a good time before our flight.
I decided to drive to town as I needed to get a few

cosmetics. As i stepped out of the car I suddenly
heard a voice near me although i couldn’t spot
where it came from.
“I had no doubt you would make it” the voice said
Next to me was a white Jeep with a window slightly

opened. As I tried to peep inside the window closed
and the door opened.
There he was….. Atusaye my long lost love
stepping out of the vehicle.
I immediately dropped my hand bag and quickly

removed my sunglasses.
“Atusaye is this you????”..

Tbc
“Yes its me” Atusaye said as he rushed to hug me.
Tears had filled my eyes but I tried hard to fight

them back.
“Where have you been?” Atusaye asked with a

shaky voice, I could tell the hurt in his voice.
At this point I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore

and my face was now wet.
“Can we sit somewhere and talk?” he said
We walked to the business park hand in hand

before settling down to talk.
“Can I get you anything?” He asked me.
“Just water” I responded.

“You look so beautiful, I can’t believe how life has
turned out for you” he said.
I looked at his finger to spot a ring but there was

nothing and not even a sign to show that he has
one. He was still very handsome and even more
now.
“Mwansa I am not mad at you but I just want to

know what was going through your mind when you
left me like that. How could you?” he asked.
I could sense the pain in his eyes as he questioned

me and I knew how much I had hurt him. My heart
crushed hearing him say those words and tears
flowed even more.
“Mwansa are you married, engaged or seeing

someone? I really don’t want to keep you here
against your wish” he said.
“How’s Mrs. Martin’s? Hasn’t she been mad at

me?” I asked.
“No, on the contrary she was so relieved that you

did not die in the fire. The zesco pole behind your
apartment caught fire which led to the burning of
your house. She thinks you were afraid of being
blamed and that’s why you ran away. She looked
for you tirelessly”
“I met her with your sisters and I was so relieved to
know that she was OK. But I hid away from her” I
said.
“Clara is now married and she too has never

stopped asking about you” he said.
I immediately connected with the time I met them

shopping for a wedding.
“Where is Claudine?” I asked him as tears rolled

down even more.
“She is married now… To Mr. Martins friend. She

really did it to hurt me..” he said.
“To hurt you?” I asked asked him as I took in a

deep sigh of relief and stretched my hands across
the table, Atusaye held on to my hands and looked
into my eyes.
“Who was the lucky man who stole your heart?” He

asked.
I was quite uncomfortable and I think he noticed.
“Its fine just talk to me, I am ready to hear

everything” he said.
“A wonderful woman took me in…” I started.

“Go ahead dear and tell me everything…” He
encouraged me.
My heart was heavy but he had to know the truth,

so slowly but surely I narrated everything without
leaving out any detail.
Atusaye listened attentively without showing any

form of emotion, I didn’t know what was going
through his mind.
“Mwansa this is your life we are talking about. He

has done a lot for you and I just can’t come and
snatch you away from him. I can’t.. He has been
everything you needed” Atusaye said.
“But I don’t want you to ever think I stopped loving

you” I said as i cried bitterly.. I put my head on the
table and buried my face in my arms while I wept.
“Please calm down Mwansa, I believe everything

happens for a reason. I wish you never went away
but then again I cant forget to appreciate what this
guy has done for you… Perhaps you may never
have been what you are today if you stayed with
me. I was in a lot of confusion and I know that’s not
what you needed ” Atusaye said.
“Atusaye.. I was afraid I didn’t know what to do..”

“I know Mwansa and I can’t hold that against you..
It had to be fate. I gave myself time after Claudine
and I split, I didn’t want to rush into anything.
Truthfully speaking I kept hoping you would walk
through the gate and return to your job” he said
before posing. I saw the pain in his eyes. Now I
really knew he meant what he said, now he
sounded more genuine more than the time I knew
him.
“I waited for you.. I prayed for you. Claudine left

because I couldn’t hide it anymore.. My heart
needed you. My sisters knew and though they were
shocked at first, they eventually accepted.” He said
as tears lingered in his eyes.
“Am a man, I shouldn’t cry” he giggled as he tried to

lighten the mood
“I love you Mwansa and I still do. Everyday and

every night I think of you. The only thing I managed
to rescue from your house was the perfume bottom
I gave you on your birthday and it’s been with me”
he said
“I use that perfume to date. It reminds me of you” I

replied.
“I’m sorry but I can’t just let go of you Atusaye. I

want to be with you…” I said.
Atusaye quickly shook his head
“No dear. Listen to me, that man has sacrificed

everything for you. Maybe my role was just to bring
you closer to where you are today. We can’t fight
destiny at least I know that it will be a curse upon
my life if I take you away from him. You will be ok,
just try to love him it wont be hard.”
“Are you sure you loved me? if you did then you will
fight for me.” I said.
“No Mwansa its different, he has done so much for

you. You can’t give up on that. At least now I know
and I can have closure. If it makes you feel any
better then please replay my dedication to you
again. Do you remember it?” He asked me.
“Yes I do..” I responded reluctantly.
Atusaye was talking about Israel’s track “hold on”.
I was crushed and torn but he was right. I didn’t

want to accept it but he was very right. How could I
leave Shane and walk out on everything Aunty
Bertha did for me?
Atusaye and I hugged before walking back to the

car park.
“Can I at least have your number so I can be in
touch” I whispered as we hugged.
“If you promise me that it won’t disturb your

relationship” he said
Atusaye and I exchanged numbers before we said

our goodbyes. I could tell he acted really brave for
my sake, but he was broken inside. I really didn’t
know he loved me that much.
I drove back to the hotel without even getting what I

needed in town.
Shane had arranged a special dinner for us and I

showered before going out to join him.I was very
sad inside but I had to put up a brave face as I
remembered Atusaye’s words. He wanted me to be
happy so I had no choice but to be. Nothing hurts
more than being away from your true love.
Tbc
“Honey are you OK?” Shane asked me.
“I’m ok honey. I’m just tired” I responded.
“You’ve barely touched your food” he said.
I just lost it and tears ran down my face.

“Honey what’s wrong?” He asked me again.
My heart bled to think that he was suffering for what

he didn’t know. I was crying for someone else and
here he was comforting me.
“I just can’t believe how life has changed.. God has

been too good to me” I lied.
“Awwwww dry your tears. I love you honey and I

promise to spoil you in California” he said
################
Shane and I checked into first class in readiness for

my flight on a Saturday morning. I was so happy
and I couldn’t wait to be in a different world. All
through the flight Shane told me about his place
and showed me a lot of pictures.
Flying was something else and to think that I had to

be on the plane for hours was just crazy.
When we landed it was dark but the lighting alone

was clear that I was in a different world. It was just
unbelievable stepping into the white mans land.
“God you have allowed my eyes see the beauty of

your creation.. I Mwansa a simple house help” I
said as tears flowed.
We checked into a beautiful hotel although we had
separate rooms. Shane and I had no intentions of
being intimate.
The following day I was very tired and I continued

sleeping until afternoon when we went to view
some places. I was very happy to meet Shane’s
friends and knowing his side of life made me feel
special.
I got embarrassed a couple of times as things were

just so different but thanks to Shane who was
supportive, I was never out of place
################
Going to Vegas wasn’t part of the plan but as usual

Shane is full of surprises. By the time we clocked
3weeks I had been to Hollywood, Vegas and to top
it all we made a flight to Italy just to visit within the
holiday before going back to California.
I really thought I had it all … I actually almost had it

all but through all this I was broken inside. I couldn’t
just forget Atusaye.
Even though Shane got me so much, my heart

longed for that one man who gave me love.
Atusaye showed me love before I knew any other
One morning as I was just from my morning work
out Shane told me we had a trip to make. I wasn’t
sure what else to expect as I had seen it all. I had
shopped from the best stores and even dined in the
best restaurants. So what could be better?.
“Honey just tell me where we are going I can’t

guess anymore” I said.
“Trust me my love, have I ever disappointed you?”

He asked me.
So once again I was packing and this time I had 7

bags of clothes and shoes. We flew on a private
plane to a city that was still unknown to me until we
landed.
“Welcome to Paris? Are we in Paris? I asked

Shane with excitement.
” yes honey we are” he said.
I screamed and jumped on his masculine body.

Everyone at the airpot must have thought I was out
of my mind.
“Honey our holiday will end here before we go back

home” he said.
We checked in to a
lovely hotel and as usual maintained our separate
rooms.
Shane told me he had a surprise for me but I

wondered what it was. Being in Paris was a
surprise on its on. Really what could top that?.
I was in my room watching TV and updating shots

on Instagram when I got a delivery.
I didn’t order anything but the delivery lady was

positive that it was mine.
“OK mum let me at least check it before I sign.” I

responded.
The parcel was in a big box and inside was s black

laundry bag and it looked like an expensive dress.
“Am I going to meet the Queen?” I asked as I

giggled.
I just finished unzipping the bag and my mouth was

now jaw drop.
“Its a wedding dress” I muttered.
“Yes it is madam and if you check the other box

must have jewellery” she said.
I quickly opened it and just like she said i found the
expensive jewellery.
I couldn’t believe what was happening and I quickly

rushed to his room only to find his bed decorated in
petals with the words “will you marry me?”
As usual tears rushed down as Shane appeared

from the bathroom and knelt down before me.
Shane pulled out a box from his pocket and said to

me.
“Honey.. If you accept this ring on your finger I will

be the happiest man on the planet. Will you marry
me Mwansa?. He said.
I wanted to stage a funeral to mourn Atusaye and I

really wanted to escape but I once escaped and
what happened?
I shut my eyes as tears fell down my eyes.
” yes I will marry you” I said slowly.
Shane slipped the ring on my finger and he hugged

me really tight.
“I love you” he whispered.

I couldn’t lie to God or myself so I avoided saying
those words back to him.
“I thank God for you” I said.
“I wanted us to have a surprise wedding here and

everything was underway but mum wasn’t pleased
so I guess we will wed home in zambia” he said.
I was so relived I think if Shane threw a surprise

wedding I would have just died.
“But I promise to give you a Paris wedding

afterwards” he said.
I took a deep sigh.. Not of relief but of thought. It’s

funny how freedom is not really free.
I was now carrying a ring equivalent to two

mansions on my finger and the thought of Atusaye
had to fade. I had to accept fate.
I had to give up. Shane was too much. He was just

too much. Atusaye did not have a chance. Or was I
wrong?..
See you on my wedding day. Zambian here we

come
Tbc
The night before our flight to Zambia a white lady
named Linda who happened to be Shane’s old
classmate came to visit and we had dinner
together. Linda Pitt was not only an old classmate
but also Shane’s first cousin according to him. She
wasn’t friendly at all, I tried to keep conversation
but I could tell she didn’t like me. It was very
awkward when I tried to talk to Shane as i noticed
she interrupted and started another topic and
surprisingly Shane responded to her not me.
After we landed home Shane made another huge

purchase and this time it was a beautiful house
where we would start a family. Shane moved in
immediately and I would be joining him after the
wedding as per agreement. He also rented me an
apartment in salama where I would stay before the
wedding.
##############
I wasn’t sure if getting married was the best

decision I was making but ever since we landed in
Zambia, I was under pressure by aunty Bertha to
give my input on the wedding plans.
Shane wanted us to wed in a few days but I at least

needed time so I pushed it further, although I only
got two
weeks to prepare.
One thing I was excited about though was my book
which Shane successfully published.
Just two days after hitting the markets, my book

was best seller on amazon and my account quickly
started hitting large sums of money. Shane and I
had talked about opening a joint bank account and
we agreed that I would do it before the wedding.
That meant all my savings including money for the
book sale would go into the same account.
One morning just 5days before my wedding i

decided to go and organise the house especially
the room that would be our bedroom where Shane
used to sleep. Shane was working and he wasn’t
expecting me.
As I was cleaning the closet I saw a pile of

documents in envelopes and wondered what they
were. Shane had not yet settled as he had just
moved in so things were all over the place.
As i went through the documents i came across my

car white book which was in Shane’s closet and it
was in Linda’s name not mine. My stomach
suddenly turned.
And like that wasn’t enough the house he bought

for us was equally in Linda’s name.
“What is going on here?” I thought again.

I straight away went into checking things and I
found many things in joint ownership between
Shane and Linda his cousin.
So Shane really didn’t trust me and now Linda was

helping him by putting everything under her name.
Why would he do that?
I thought that had hurt me but not when I saw

prenuptial agreement papers. Shane typed out
papers that I would sign to approve that everything
he owned before our wedding would remain his
after the wedding and that I would have no say over
everything he owned. In short I was basically
walking into this marriage broke and I would
probably stay broke
###############
I told aunty Bertha that I would take care of the

marriage ceremony while she could handle the
reception. She wasn’t happy but eventually she
agreed and she gave me some money.
Shane on the other hand was excited about the

marriage and he kept blowing the bank with
extravagant spending.
The following night, aunty Bertha and the rest of the
family came to have dinner with us at Shane’s
house, it was my treat for aunty Berthas birthday
and I did the cooking.
After dinner while Shane interacted with his

siblings, I took the time to share about my trip with
aunty Bertha and equally showed her some
pictures. I noticed something unusual as we flipped
through the Album.
Linda’s pictures that we had taken together when

she came for dinner were missing. I was eagerly
waiting to hear what aunty Bertha would say about
her but how could I even ask? I hoped the photos
would make it easier.
This was a shocker and a complete surprise if you

ask me. Why would he remove her pictures?
That night I decided to spend a night over at the

house as I was too tired to drive. I wanted to ask
Shane a lot of questions but I decided to take my
time.
I arranged one of the spare bedrooms for myself

and I showered before tacking into bed.
Shane did not sleep immediately as he was

downstairs skyping with some friend. God knows
who.
I was sleeping peacefully and I suddenly had a
terrible nightmare. I was terrified when I woke up
and immediately got down on my knees in prayer.
I broke into serious prayers and burst into unknown

tongues. I don’t know what was going on but I
prayed so much until I heard a loud voice in the
midst of my prayer.
“Oh shut up will you!!!!” Shane yelled as he pushed

the bedroom door open.
It was the very first time I saw him that angry.
I was so speechless and my body trembled.
“What was that for? I’m trying to sleep and you

break into those annoying sounds!” He yelled.
“Honey I’m sorry.. I was just praying” I said.
“Praying???? Are you possessed? Who prays like

that?” He asked again angrily.
I was so shocked and my mouth went dry.
As I went back to bed thoughts ran through my

head.
“Why on earth was I yelling in tongues that I had
never spoken before? Maybe I was really
possessed like Shane told me. I mean that’s the
only reason he would be angry.
I remembered his angry face and I was crippled

with fear. I knew aunty Bertha, she was nice and
she was Christian from what I knew. She actually
asked me to get baptised if I wanted to. But why
would she raise a son who hates to hear prayer?. I
knew something was frustrating Shane and it had
nothing to do with the prayers.
The following morning I went to check on the florist

and the cake just to make sure everything was
according to my specifications.
The thoughts of what happened the previous night

did not escape my mind and I was torn apart. What
was happening and why did he behave like that?
Why was Linda so special?
When I got back home Shane had bought me a

beautiful cake, roses and a gorgeous dress to say
sorry for how he reacted.
I was blown away and indeed I believed he was

sorry. To be with someone you needed to adjust so
I convinced myself that praying loudly would not
settle well with him so I had to change.
“Honey I wanted to talk to you about something”
Shane started.
“Yes honey am listening” I responded as we were

watching a movie.
“The wedding is two days away and I thought I

explain something to you” he said.
Shane opened his briefcase and removed a pink

envelope.
The envelope had the prenuptial papers and I

listened attentively as he started to speak.
“Honey these papers are for us to sign. By signing

you are simply protecting your property in case our
marriage fails. That is everything you own before
this marriage like your car and the house we jointly
own” he said
I looked at Shane and I just couldn’t believe he had

the audacity to lie to me.
“OK honey, does that mean I can now gave my

white book?” I asked.
“Ahhh.. Yes I will give it to you. Just sign here” he

said.
I did not hesitate at all and I decided to sign and he
signed too and we together presented the paper to
a lawyer the following morning.
We had just presented the papers to the lawyer and

I decided to block my account so he could not have
access to it and I diverted all my funds to another
separate account.
A lot of media companies had been contacting me

trying to interview me concerning my book which
was now famous but I had to get the wedding out of
the way first.
################
The man i got to officiate our wedding was a not so

well known pastor who seemed to just be interested
in the fee I was paying him. I had managed to
convince Shane that our court wedding would take
place when we returned from Paris.
He didn’t seem happy at all but I had to make a few

of my own demands and they were quite strict. For
instance I chose this pastor simply because he was
not so well known to avoid making a big fuss.
I asked Shane’s youngest sister who was also a

bridesmaids to escort me to the salon to get my
hair done in readiness for the wedding which was
the following day. She was very friendly so I
decided to ask her about Linda.
“Linda Pitt? You know her? She asked in shock.
” yes we met. She seemed very nice” I said.
“Oh no don’t mistake her kindness for anything

genuine” she said.
“But why do you say that?” I asked.
“That lady and Shane dated for a very long time

and I believe she still has eyes for him. Guard your
man jealously or she will take him” she said.
My stomach immediately rumbled and its like the

earth shook.
“No…I know Shane … Do you have any idea why

they broke up?” I asked.
“Distance I guess. We moved here and she visited

a few times but she finally gave up. She was
actually really stubborn but Shane loved her a lot.
He gave her all he could but she still played with his
emotions. We never thought he would love again
but you stole his heart and once again his back to
himself” she said.
That made a lot of sense and I remembered how
he looked at her and just how she was so rude to
me. He also responded to her before he responded
to me. That really made a lot of sense. But then
why did he want to marry me? Its not like I was
pressuring him. He had someone who he loved and
who loved him too so why me?
I had a lot of unanswered questions.

Was he using me to get her jealous? But to even
go as far as marriage?
################
That Evening before my wedding I called the

money loving pastor to meet me in a secluded
place. I call him that because despite knowing I
wasn’t baptised he was willing to wed me off so
long as I paid.
He wasn’t sure whether to meet me at first but I

assured him it was safe to meet me at the location
and he finally agreed.
“Good evening man of god” I said as he

approached.
I had been waiting for him for a while
“Good evening madam” he responded.

“OK this will be very short” I said as I handed him
an envelope.
Sir in that envelope is a certificate. It looks just like

the original marriage certificate but it isn’t. I need
you to hand it to us tomorrow and we will sign it
instead” I said.
“But madam that means the marriage will be…”
“Fake!” I interrupted
“But I thought you loved him” he said.
“And I thought you didn’t love money…..so we both

were wrong.” I responded
“How much????” He asked me.
“I will add a K10, 000 more to your bill” I said.
“You can trust me..” I added as I handed him K5

000 cash.
I didn’t ever see myself getting to such measures

but life had laughed in my face for way too long. I
couldn’t take chances. Even if I would never be with
Atusaye, I still wouldn’t be fooled into settling for a
liar like Shane. What else was he capable of?. Well
I will not say much, at least he got me educated
and travelling first class.
I drove to my hotel room where i would spend a
night before the wedding….. The fake wedding to
be precise
Tbc
It was the morning of the wedding and I couldn’t be

much happier, all I wanted was to get it over and
done with. I was sure that Shane wouldn’t go down
without a fight so I prepared myself for anything.
Perhaps our marriage would last 3months or
maybe a few weeks before he realises it was all
fake. I had to fake the marriage too other wise he
would pull the rag from right under my feet.
I still wanted to know what he was up to.
My hair was done and the makeup too was great.

All I needed now was to walk down the aisle and
meet the man who should have been my husband.
The matron who happened to be Shane’s sister

in-law whispered some words of encouragement in
my ear and aunty Bertha held my hand. It was
unlike tradition for the grooms mother to escort the
bride but I had no family. So I let her take the slot. It
wasn’t real anyway so the less people i had the
better.
“He is a good man. Just understand him” she
whispered in my ear.
I had spent a night at the same hotel where the

marriage ceremony would take place So I just had
to walk to the front with my mother in law. That was
it.
As the elevator went down, my stomach rambled. I

was going to have a fake wedding but it all seemed
real. I was now a famous author and it would
eventually go down history that I faked a marriage.
“Did I want that kind of name for myself?” I thought.
Aunty Bertha held me tight and she smiled, as the

elevator opened.
“This is it dear” she said.
“Are you ready?” She asked.
“Yes .. As ready as I could ever be” I said.
What a gorgeous dress I wore, it was so expensive

and the veil swept the floor.
“All this for a fake wedding” I muttered.

Aunty Bertha was all smiles and she held me tight
as we walked down the hallway that led to the
gardens.
As soon as the doors opened, the song started to

play.
“Here comes the bride all dressed in white”.
I could careless about the music or the invited

guests. I wore a wide smile on my face and
someone could easily have mistaken my smile for
happiness. I was smiling at Shane, he really
thought I was foolish.
Shane on the other hand was clad in a white suit

with gold buttons. My bridesmaids were in beautiful
peach dresses while the groomsmen wore grey
suits. The venue was beautiful, the floral
arrangements everywhere looked heavenly.
Everything was pure except the hearts of the two
people who mattered most at this event….. Shane
and myself.
As Shane got my hand from his mother I

remembered Atusaye, I wished he was there
holding me close
The pastor looked at me and smiled, he smiled so

wide that I almost slapped him. How could he be so
careless smiling like that? I hadn’t even executed
my plan and he was already looking excited.
” Dearly beloved we are gathered here to witness

the wedding of Shane and Mwansa. Today the two
will be declaring their love……”
“Oh no they won’t!!!” A female voice interrupted

from the back.
Its like everything went into slow motion as we all

turned around to see what was happening.
There she was…. Linda Pitt dressed in a gorgeous

white wedding dress and holding a bouquet of
roses. She was standing at the end of the red
carpet ready to make her grand entrance to the
front.
“Ehey!!!” I said in a Nigerian accent as I clapped my

hands.
Tbc
“Pastor please please continue” Shane said.
” no no he won’t, Shane mind explaining to me

what all this is about???” I asked.
“I am his woman and I have been for many years
now!” Linda yelled as she came walking to the
front.
“Mwansa .. Listen to me” Shane started.
“Just tell her the truth!!!!” Another voice shouted

from the crowd.
I immediately pulled out my veil and threw it on the

ground together with my bouquet.
I was ready to walk away but Aunty Bertha came

running to me before I could take my first step.
“Hold on my dear, Shane you better sort this mess

before I….”
“Before you what mum!” Shane yelled.
I had never seen him so angry his veins looked like

they would pop out..
“Am tired of making you happy! It’s my turn to be

happy and my happiness lies with Linda not
Mwansa” Shane yelled again.
“Aunty Bertha you knew about this?” I asked in

shock
“Who on earth did you think funded the trips????”
Shane interrupted.
“I need to sit before I pass out” I said as I held my

head.
Someone came with a chair and I sat down

listening to mother and son like I was conducting an
interview.
“Am sorry my daughter. Am so sorry. I just hoped

he would forget her, she caused him enough pain”
aunty Bertha said.
“And you chose me of all people?” I asked her.
“You too had someone you needed to forget… Yes

he told me everything and I really hoped the both of
you would fall in love. I really tried and for a
moment I believed it was happening” she said.
“Lord this family!!!! What else should I know????” I

said.
“That am pregnant!” Linda yelled
“Wow… Shane… You are so good at what you do”

I said in shock.
Aunty Bertha immediately pulled out a cheque book

from her bag and she wrote something on it.
“Here dear, for all your troubles. Am so sorry for
this embarrassment” she said.
“Just like that? So you will just pay her off like
that?” Linda interrupted.
“Well you came to fight for your man he is here

enjoy him and by the way congrats you own a car
and a mansion too” I said before bending down to
pick the veil and the bouquet. I wasn’t going to
leave them behind, they were mine after all.
“Mwansa am so sorry” Shane said.
“No you don’t have to be, you two deserve each

other actually”. I said.
I walked to the front and pulled the marriage

certificate from the altar.
“By the way I will need this too” i said as I got the
certificate.
“You might need an original if they’ll actually be a

wedding taking place” I added.
“It was a fake certificate????” Shane asked in

shock.
“So you actually get surprised too?” I asked him as
I smiled.
I immediately made my way out with the veil,

bouquet of roses, cheque and certificate in my
hands. There was a lot of silence, almost like
someone died.
“K50, 000 wow… Not bad” I said as I read the

cheque.
I got to my hotel room and quickly changed, after

packing all my belongings from the room I dragged
my cases to the elevator.
When the elevator opened, an elderly man fairly

huge and light in complexion greeted me. Just by
appearance you could tell he had so much wisdom.
“Dear it is you I followed, I’ve been looking for you

and found out it was your wedding so I showed up
uninvited. Am sorry about the turn of events” he
said.
“Sir who are you?” I asked him.
“Can we talk from somewhere” he said.
“Certainly not from this hotel as you can see am

rushing out” I said.
“OK meet me at Radisson blu hotel by the pool
area tonight around 7” he said.
“Sir.. I don’t want riddles. If you like my book and

this is a business meeting tell me already so I
know” I said.
“I love your book yes but I’m not here to sign you
up for anything just be there. Please” he said as he
he pat my shoulder.
I got into the elevator and it closed while he

remained standing.
I didn’t have where to go but I rushed to the bank to

cash in the cheque before finding a secluded lodge
to stay in.
My mind was still confused I needed to know what

this man wanted so I prepared myself and went to
meet him.
I found him seated and looking very smart, in my

head I was convinced this man was just trying to
discuss my book.
“Hi dear glad you made it” he said.
“Did you think I wouldn’t come?” I asked.

“Even if you didn’t I would have found a way to see
you but thank you for making this very easy for me”
he said.
The man then placed an envelope on the table and

asked me to open it.
“I’m proud of the braveness you portrayed at your

wedding today, you are strong. Just like your father
was” he said.
The moment I heard him mention my father, my

heart bounced and I put the envelope down.
“Sir who are you?” I asked.
“OK let me open that for you” he said as he got the

envelope.
The man then handed me papers from the

envelope. The papers had a lot of property under
my name. And I looked at him in shock.
“Sir what is this? I’m sorry I can’t accept it.” I said.
“Wait a minute this mansion listed here is the one

my uncle is living in”.. I said.
” yes dear let me break the ice…. Your dad used to

be my best friend. He owned shares in a mine and
your uncle was an employee there. He was very
wicked and misused company resources. I often
told your father to fire him but I guess he loved his
brother” the man said.
“What happened to my parents?” I asked
“Your parents died from food poisoning. No one

really knows how it happened but I’m sure you can
guess who would be capable of such” he said.
Tears washed out my makeup and I felt serious

bitterness and rage. I just couldn’t stand the pain I
felt inside.
“Dear dry your tears.. Unfortunately your uncle

already sold your father’s shares and he got away
with the money” he said.
“Where is he!!!!! I’m going to strangle him with my

bare hands when I find him!!!!” I yelled.
“I’ve been working on this case for sometime and

planning my move very well while I was away in the
states. Your uncle was arrested and your aunty and
the children have already vacated the mansion as
we speak. He will probably not stay there for long
because the courts can’t link him to the murder and
the case has been long overdue” he said
“So he will be out freely roaming the streets?” I

asked him.
“Well that will have to surrender to God but these
documents have all the property your father left.
That’s 3 flats a mansion and a business complex
on the copper belt”. He said.
“Sir thank you so much and may God richly bless

you. What I can say? You are indeed a blessing” I
said.
“So where are you going from here? Do you have

family?” He asked.
“Yes I do actually, but first they need to forgive me.

I disappointed them badly” I said.
“OK i will leave now but this is my card. My family

and I will receive you with open arms whenever you
need to visit us. I’m leaving for the States in two
days. My mission here is done and am sure my
friends soul is now resting in peace.” He said.
“Thank you sir, go well” I said.
I immediately left after him and went back to the

lodge.
I said a long prayer of praise, worship and thanks

giving. It was just unbelievable how everything
unfolded. I could hardly sleep as the documents
scared me. Its like I was keeping billions of money
in the house. I needed a place to save them
properly.
This day had unfolded so much. What else could

happen?… It was just the beginning of better to
come. Indeed the tears I shed for so long were not
in vain.
Tbc
The following morning, I was a woman on a

mission. I had to secure all my property although I
was blank on what to do. The first thought that
crossed my mind was to approach lawyers. Thanks
to my love for reading, I had learnt a lot through
books .
A google search helped me find a number of

lawyers within Lusaka and I picked on the most
recommended. My account had some money which
I used partly to pay the lawyers.
After much discussion the lawyers helped me

secure my title deeds with the bank and now I had
to inspect the property.
I missed Atusaye so much but my life needed a lot

of organisation. I just couldn’t run after him with so
much at stake and I still had no idea when my uncle
would be a free man. The sooner I sorted my life
out the better.
###############$
When I arrived at the mansion, the first person I

saw was the security officer Mr. Mwale who had
been so good to me when I lived there.
“Mr mwale!!.. You’re around?” I screamed as a taxi

dropped me at the gate.
“Mwansa!!!! ” Mr mwale shouted as he ran to me.
“Am so happy to see you Mr. Mwale” I said as we

shook hands.
A lot of thoughts went through my head and I

remembered all that I went thorough, the memories
were so clear.
“So happy to see you too dear” he said.
“my dear a lot has happened” he started.
“Please Mr. Mwale don’t. I heard it all. I’m just

relieved that it is all over” I said.
“Yes my dear its all over. That man is really good…

He has saved you. He actually paid me to stay
when everyone left..” He said.
I knew he was referring to dads friend.
” You look like you’ve not been doing bad at all,

how is everything with you? He asked.
” I will tell you everything first let’s have a tour of the

house.” I said.
Mr Mwale and I talked as we went round the

mansion, thank God it was still under perfect
condition and ready to be occupied.
The next move I had to make was to check on the 3

flats, they too were well maintained so I did not
have work to do. The flats were all occupied so I
had to get a pass to view them. That same week i
scheduled a meeting with the tenants and they
signed fresh agreements.
The cheque I received from aunty Bertha

successfully cleared and i used the money to
purchase a good second hand car just to help me
run around and I occupied a small flat.
The lawyers had initially advised me to get a good

agent for all my property and the agents would help
me find good tenants. Since the mansion was still
empty I needed someone there but I new they may
let Mr. Mwale go. He had worked for us for a long
time and I just couldn’t stand the thought of him
being on the streets.
Mr. Mwale still needed his job so part of the

tenancy agreement on the mansion was that
security would be provided, the tenants just had to
pay. This went great and I decided to do the same
for the flats. Since Mr. Mwale was very trust worthy,
I removed him from the position of security guard
and promoted him to be in charge of the security
company. He now had 8 security guards under him
and we eventually added maintenance workers
under the security company.
With the help of Mr. Mwale I managed to find the

maids who worked for the mansion and I paid them
settlement to start there lives afresh.
It had been 2 months and I still hadn’t managed to

visit the Martin’s but I had now fully healed from my
past, everything to do with my property was in
place and I was ready to visit the Martin’s house.
The morning of my visit was really scary, I didn’t

know if I would be welcomed or chased. I just had
no idea.
################
As I parked at the gate of the martins residents my

heart skipped.
“God I have to do this” I said to myself.
I knew I had spent too much time but I needed to

heal and reflect as I put my life in order. I didn’t
want to jump from one mess into another.
I still didn’t hoot but instead I started talking to

myself.
“OK Mwansa you’ll be OK. Just apologise and

everything else will fall into place. Oh no! What if
he’s taken! .. Jesus I just can’t stand all these
thoughts!”
I hit the steering to clear my thoughts but ended up

hooting accidentally and the gate opened.
“Oh my God here we are” I said to myself as the

gate slid open.
I couldn’t escape now, it was time to see the

Martin’s and possibly receive forgiveness. If I turn
out lucky, I may even get the love of my life back.
Tbc
“Yes madam how can I help you?” The gate man

asked as I pulled over. He was new and It was my
first time seeing him.
“Halo.. I would like to see the Martin’s” I said.
“Oh sorry madam they moved out” the man said.
“Moved out? When and how?.. Any details about

their whereabouts?” I asked.
“No unfortunately mum I have absolutely no idea”

he said.
I wasn’t sure if the house belonged to the Martins,

so I asked to see the people occupying the house. I
truly hoped it belonged to the Martin’s then they
would definitely know and assist me
After knocking, a fine looking lady stepped out and

she introduced herself as Monica.
“My name is Mwansa, I am looking for Mr and Mrs

Martin’s but I hear they moved out. Would you
know their whereabouts?” I asked.
“Let me call my sister, she is the owner of the

house”. The lady said.
A woman came out shortly holding a baby.
” how are you dear? I’m told you want to know

about the Martins. She said.
“Yes madam” I replied.

“Unfortunately mum the Martins travelled to the
United states. They sold us this house” the woman
said.
“How long ago was that?” I asked.
“Almost a year ago, about 11months” she said.
I knew Atusaye must have remained because I saw

him about 4months earlier. But where was he?” I
thought.
When I drove home I was devastated. How come

Atusaye did not mention that the Martins had
shifted when I saw him?. It really didn’t make
sense.
Unfortunately I had lost his number, but why didn’t

he ever call me when I had also given him my
number. Many thoughts crossed my mind but I
refused to make any more conclusions like in the
past. I didn’t want to think he had moved on. He
had to be there waiting for me somewhere.
I didn’t know where he would go in his free time or

who he was found with.
################
It had been a week and two days since I visited the
Martins former home. The devastation I had was
too much especially knowing that there’s nothing I
could do. I searched for him on Facebook and
Instagram to no avail. My heart felt pained. I had
been pending the book launch for a while until I
finally decided to do it. There was nothing I was
waiting for.
I hoped the book launch would accord me the

chance to see him, maybe he would hear about it
and decide to show up.
I had planned really well for the launch and I made

sure a lot off publicity was done.
The day of the book launch was amazing with a

number of stores showing interest in stocking my
book, I managed to schedule a lot of meetings and
also got the chance to speak to a lot of people.
Media companies showed keen interest in turning
the novel in to a movie.
Everything seemed promising except the one thing

I wanted the most, Atusaye.
################
It had been a lonely one month without seeing

Atusaye, I managed to sign a good contract to
create a film out of my novel and I got working on
that. It kept me busy as i was ever on set. The
director felt there was no better person than myself
to play the main character.
With so much achievement I still longed for my Atu

day in and day out. Nothing and no one could
replace him. At least even if i would never be with
him all I needed was closure for me to move on.
##############
One day as I was leaving the movie set to go

home, I saw Stella. I hooted and gave her signs to
come to the car park where I was going to park.
“Stella how are you?” I asked
Stella was intimated by my appearance but she

equally didn’t look bad.
“I’m fine boyi I can see a lot has gone right with
you, I’m driving too. I just parked somewhere so I
could move around” she said.
“Oh we thank God for that”. I said
“The Martin’s.. How are they?” I asked while

pretending like I did not know a thing
“You’re not aware?. They left for the States. Joy

equally joined them but Clara is married” she said.
“Oh that’s nice…” I responded.
I was waiting for her to mention Atusaye because if

I went ahead and asked she wouldn’t help me.
“By the way Atusaye and I have been going strong,

put us in your prayers I’m sure will soon tie the
knot”. She said.
” wow really?.. Awwww am so happy for you” I said

as I hugged her.
That was a clear sign of hypocrisy, I would never

be happy to hear such news. But I knew she was
lying, it was funny how even after so long Stella
viewed me as a threat when it came to Atusaye
“A lot of good things have happened to me too, I’m

actually engaged and will be wedding this month
end” I lied.
“Really??? Wow…” She said in excitement.
“Give me your number. You guys should come for

lunch at my house.” I said.
Quickly a thought crossed my mind and I hoped

this plan would work as I bit my tongue
“Boyi you’ve actually done well ala my battery has
drained I need to make a call” I said.
“Oh no problem sure you can” she said as she

handed me the phone.
I pretended to be typing a number when I quickly

did a search and I found Atusaye’s number. My
mind was quick at mastering and it quickly picked
the number. I got my handbag and removed a note
pad where I wrote the number and shortly wrote
down my number.
“Its not going through but here mama you can call
me on this line” I said as I handed her the small
piece of paper that had my number.
“Thanks love will be in touch” she said before

walking away.
I quickly got my phone and dialed Atusaye’s

number, it wasn’t long before the call was picked
up.
“Atusaye on the line who am I speaking to?” The

voice said.
“Its…..me…..
mwansa” I stammered.
“Mwansa… Where are you?” He asked me.

“Are you married?” I asked blankly.
“Mwansa where are you?” He asked again.
“Am at central park in town” I replied.
“Am 10minutes away… Wait for me right now am

coming. He said.
I didn’t know whether it was good or bad but I

waited patiently and I saw his range Rover pull
over.
” I quickly ran to his car as he walked out. His eyes

looking very emotional
“A friend told me, is it true?” He asked me.
“Mwansa is it true you did not get married”
Tears quickly ran down my face as as I looked at

him helplessly.
“If you have someone already its fine I will

understand” I said as I cried.
“Oh look at you.. My heart has and will always have

one woman. I love you Mwansa and I have failed to
move on.”
Atusaye hugged me really tight as tears fell down
my cheeks.
“I never stopped believing Mwansa, I never did. I

knew if its meant to be it would be” he said as he
held me tight.
I cried so bad and now Atusaye also started

shedding tears.
“My love finally.. Mwansa my love finally” he said

calmly as he rubbed my back
See not even California, Paris, Vegas or Italy can

stop real love
Tbc
“Stop crying honey let’s go to my house we need to

talk” he said.
I wiped my tears and let go of him. Atusaye pecked

my forehead before escorting me to my car.
“Please just drive behind me” he said.
Atusaye took off and I followed him behind steadily

until we reached at a beautiful house. I was
amazed but i kept my cool. The house was
beautiful inside, he had great choice. The interior
decor was superb.
“Honey take a sit. Can I get you anything?” He
asked me.
“Yes … Water…” I said.
“OK I will be right back” he said.
I sat waiting patiently and he brought water on a

tray with some juice and snacks.
“This is your house too.. Feel free” he said.
Those words got my heart dancing.
“Thank you..” I responded.
“My sister and her husband moved, I should have

mentioned” he said.
“Oh… Actually I was wondering why you didn’t

mention” I responded.
“A lot was going on through my mind at that point…

Where do we start from?” He asked.
“anywhere am listening..” I said.
“Mwansa I know I was too fast and I may be even

now… Please stop me if I start rushing you. I had
just never felt so complete, Claudine used to drive
me crazy and meeting you just felt like an
answered prayer” he said.
“Talk to me honey…” He said.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m just overwhelmed” I

responded.
“Mwansa do you believe in the power of love? He

asked me.
“Why do you ask?” I responded
“Do you believe love can make one do crazy

things?” He asked.
“I do believe in love am just not sure about the

riddles” I said
“I truly loved you Mwansa and I still do” he said
“I know but I was so scared. I had always been an

outcast and here I was being loved by someone
like you, it scared me” I said.
“Mwansa you’ve never been an outcast to me, I’ve

always loved you. God didn’t see you as an outcast
either, that’s why you are now a great writer.
” you know about my book?” I asked in shock

“Who doesn’t?.. Its really good” he responded
before going to get his copy of my book.
“God has been great….. Every step of the way” I

said.
“Just give me a minute, am coming” he said before

getting up again. I was wondering what he was
going to get this time
Atusaye showed up a little while later and he asked

me to get up as we would be going somewhere. All
attempts to get him to say where we were going
failed so I watched him patiently.
Atusaye had been driving for almost an hour and I

still had no idea where we were going.
Finally we got to a house where he pulled over.
“Let’s go in honey” he said.
“What are we doing here?” I asked him.
“Honey lets go in” he said again.
I slightly opened the door before I changed my

mind.
“I don’t feel comfortable, please go-ahead” I said

“OK I will be back” he said.
It wasn’t long before he went in that Clara came

out. My heart skipped, I didn’t know what to do as
she approached the vehicle. Clara had a child on
her back and I figured she was now a mother.
How would I explain my running away?
Clara came straight to open my door.
“Mulamu tuleyeni mu nganda. (Sister in-law let’s go

in the house)” she said with a smile.
“How are you?” She added.
“Am fine…” I responded as I came out of the car.
Clara hugged me like a sister and I felt welcome.

She didn’t treat me like a maid neither did she act
surprised that Atusaye had brought me to her.
“Its been long… We missed you dearly. You

couldn’t even call??? We only heard about you
through Atusaye when he complained” she said.
“Anyway let’s go inside.. Will talk more.” She said.
Before we could make our first step she stopped

me and asked if I had a chitenge (zambian
wrapper).
“No I don’t, “.. I responded.
For a moment I wondered why she asked me that.

Maybe she didn’t want me to meet her husband
dressed in jeans.
” OK here have mine, you know being the first time

you are visiting your mother in-law …. ” she said.
“Mother in-law? She’s here?” I asked in panic as I

quickly tied the chitenge.
“Yes dear, this is her home. Wait.. Did he not tell

you that you are coming to see her?. I’m just
visiting here myself” she said.
The look on my face said it all. I was so nervous.
“Don’t worry dear, Atusaye is crazy how can he

scare you like this?” She asked me as we walked.
“My aunties are also visiting. But don’t worry my

mums family is very nice. Atusaye is probably just
excited about you meeting mum.. Mum has
tirelessly heard about you.. In fact we have have all
heard about you tirelessly” Clara said.
“I don’t know what to do” I said nervously.
“Listen dear when we get to the door just kneel and

when we walk a few steps again kneel” she said.
“Oh Lord… Can you at least first call Atusaye I
need to talk to him” I said
“Oh come on.. I know those are your nerves talking,

just do as I say” she said with an assuring smile
I was so upset with Atusaye, what a way of

welcoming me back into his life. If I did not love him
so much I would have slapped him. The very first
day and I was already going through such stress of
meeting in-laws.
Clara and i reached the door and i knelt down with

my head facing down.
I heard women ululating and money was dropped in

front of me, Clara whispered that we had to walk
and I got up. We walked a few steps and Clara said
we kneel again. I followed the procedure until we
got into the living room where she asked me to
kneel before the chair and money was put on it
before I sat.
“Mwansa water will be brought before you, don’t

drink before money is put. And just take a sip”
Clara whispered.
Just like she said a glass of water was put on a

table before me and some money was put on the
side. It was then that I took a sip of the water.
Some words were uttered basically to welcome me
and some praises were said. All this is tradition
carried out when a bride to be meets her in-laws.
“Dear we can go, don’t kneel just walk slowly

outside” Clara whispered.
I left the house and straight away got in the car .
“You can talk now” Clara said as she burst out

laughing.
I was still stiff and just smiled.
“Your brother is something else” I said with a smile.
“He really is, don’t worry I will shout at him on your

behalf.” She said.
Atusaye stepped out of the house counting some

money in his hands, obviously the money I made.
“Huh baby we are rich he said as he entered the

car.
I felt like I could slap his face black and blue right
there and then.
” if I did not love you so much I would have slapped

you” I said.
He obviously found it funny because he burst into
laughter and Clara laughed too.
“If I didn’t know better I would think you are not the
Mwansa I saw in there. You were so humble” he
giggled.
I gave Clara her wrapper and she invited me to visit

her house during the week for lunch which I
agreed.
“Please let’s go.. I’m starving” i said to Atusaye.
” i finally get to spoil my woman, .. What do you

want for lunch honey?” He asked.
I looked at him with a frown before responding

“nshima!”
“By the way let me have my money before you use

it” I said.
“OK my African queen… Nshima it is” he said
“My money…” I reminded him again.
“Pull it from the pocket” he said as he reversed the

car.
“Ah… Its fine then you can have it” I responded.

“You are principled ayi? Your friends would have
grabbed it with everything else in the trousers” he
giggled.
We both burst into laughter before waving at Clara.
” here you go bakashi bandi (my wife). You worked

for it” he said as he handed me the money.
And off we went for our first official date. Yes to

have nshima on our first official date by a mini
restaurant in town. I chose the location and he
agreed.
The restaurant wasn’t fancy at all but we enjoyed

every moment of it as we had nshima with boiled
chicken and okra. We had both experienced the
good life but this was better than it all. Its that
simplicity that made it even extra special.
“Honey if we are ever broke.. I know I will forever

trust you to be by my side” Atusaye said as we ate.
“In poverty and wealth.. I will certainly be” I said….
What can I say?.. I just love this man 💕💕💕💙💙

Tbc
God had been amazing the last one month, aside
reconciling with my true love I managed to sign a
number of contracts for my book and I released the
first movie.
The Martin’s invited us to visit and Atusaye

promised that we would travel as soon as he
managed to sign off some property. Atusaye was in
real estate and he was really good at selling
houses, even property you would least expect to
go.
I was so glad that Atusaye involved me in his

passion and I gladly took part. I would dress
smartly to attend the board meetings and would
advise him on how to upgrade property in case
there was need to. I guess a man needs a woman
like that by his side, we didn’t agree on everything
but in the end it all worked out. I trusted Atusaye so
much because he showed me love like no other
and in fact I guess that’s why our enemies failed to
target him, instead I was the target.
#########
Atusaye’s birthday was coming up and I was

planning on surprising my right hand man. It was
my first opportunity to do something great for him
but I had no idea how to do so as Atusaye was
really smart. It was hard to plan a surprise for him.
I managed to get a planner, his name is Terry and
he came in highly recommended as the best in the
business. I was assured of nothing but the best.
Terry and I met after work or during lunch and we
would run through the birthday plans. We had no
fixed schedule as I was very busy so he worked
with my time.
Terry was very jovial and even though I had a hard

time understanding him, we got along really well.
One evening after work Terry called me for the final

touches and I met up with him at Intercontinental
hotel where I planned on having the party. It was
the day before the party and he was running me
through the final touches.
“So madam as I was saying…. the decor will look

like that but we are going to add another touch of
blue… Like you wanted. Do you like it?” He asked
me as we moved around the hall.
Terry came with two other men who helped set up

the place just so I could have a clear view.
“Yes of course I love it… In fact I want him to be

blown away…” I said.
As I was taken in the moment, the devil let hell

loose and suddenly everything came crushing
when Atusaye walked in yelling on top of his voice.
I couldn’t understand what he was saying as I was
shocked. I did not expect him to be there.
“Honey what is going on?”.. I asked.
“are you sure you want to know what is going

on??????? Answer me!!!!!” He yelled.
I burst into laughter because I really thought it was

a joke.
“Mwansa you dare laugh at such a situation????..

After all we’ve been through to together?” He said
as his eyes teared up.
“You dare plan a wedding behind my back????” He

said angrily
“A wedding?.. No no honey.. Please calm down I’m

not sure you now what you saying” I interrupted
Terry was quiet and I thank God because I wasn’t

prepared for what would have happened if he
spoke a word.
Atusaye pulled out an envelop from his pocket and

removed photos from it. He threw the photos at me
and they went scattering in all directions.
Every meeting I had with Terry was captured and I
knew at this point it would be hard to convince
Atusaye that it was all for him.
Atusaye left us there as we picked the photos in

shock.
I felt a pain I had never felt before. It felt like hot

flames where burning in my chest and I could
almost smell the smoke escape through my mouth.
Terry tried to comfort me and assured me he would

talk to Atusaye but I cried bitterly, there I was
standing and feeling very hopeless. A surprise for
my man got me into trouble.
I followed Atusaye but discovered that he wasn’t

home, I waited for hours but he still did not show
up. Perhaps he knew I would be there so he chose
not to go home.
I didn’t know who to blame for this, was it Stella or

another enemy? Maybe Shane… I was so lost.
I thought I had seen it all but no I hadn’t. The

following morning I woke up to buzzes on my
phone and I thought it was my fans. I had gained
fame and prestige overnight but it wasn’t long
before it came crushing.
When I logged on to my Facebook account people
had tagged me in a post where I was trending. The
post read
“Famous actress and book writer disappoints

second man”
It was a devastating article that had me questioning

God why?
The article went on describing how it was my

second time abandoning a man on my way to the
top and to top it all, the pictures were equally
shared on social media.
Surely life had to give me a break. What was it that

I owed the world to the extent that I deserved this
humiliation. Funny part is by the end of the day my
post had a thousand likes, shares and comments.
People surely do know how to hate.
I drove to Clara’s house the following day just so I

could explain myself. I also carried with me receipts
of the payment I gave Terry for the surprise party.
Clara let me in but it was as good as not visiting

because she too did not believe me.
There’s a famous saying “responding to rumours

simply gives them life”. Well I wish i knew that
before because I made another mistake by trying to
exculpate myself and I only worsened the situation.
################
It had been a week and I had decided to leave it all

to God. Yes I was very sure that it was the best
way to handle it, so I stepped aside of the problem
and left it to God despite the fact that my face was
recognised everywhere.
The rumours still hadn’t gone down but I received

good news, my manager informed me that our
movie was nominated and I had to travel to Lagos
Nigeria in two days.
I missed my flight by 20 minutes and my manager

was so angry as he had to leave me behind.
Luckily, I could catch another flight in 4hours so I
chose not to leave the airport.
The wait was unbearable as I flipped through

magazines. I never liked to be alone as it reminded
me of what I was going through. Atusaye had
asked for space so I was basically alone. I had
cried myself to sleep nearly every other night and It
was now tradition. My manager was my only source
of comfort. When I thought he would end the
contract with me like most people did, he told me I
was just being prepared for better to come.
##############
It was almost time for checking in at the airport and

I got up to clear my luggage. As I stood in the
queue I heard a couple giggling in the back and
they sounded like love birds. They made me miss
Atusaye a lot. I was filled with envy as i turned
around slowly to look at them..
Nothing could have prepared me for what I was

about to see………
At the the end of the line was Stella standing hand

in hand with Shane giggling like the perfect couple.
This world is full of surprises…. but this was the

biggest of them all.
Tbc
I was ready the to approach them but time wasn’t

on my side, either I chose to fight and miss my
flight or ignore it and chase after something that
was still in my favour.
I thank God we were not on the same flight.
Lagos promised better things and a lot more. My

manager picked me up from the Airport and I
checked into a beautiful hotel. The first place I
wanted to visit was Banana island.. The much
talked about place.
As I relaxed and reflected in my hotel suite Atusaye

was on my mind and not because I missed him…
Well of course I did. But really what I wanted was to
move on. For good this time. Maybe love wasn’t for
me… Perhaps I had to start afresh and focus on my
life, without Atusaye.
Amidst all the thoughts was the pressure of getting

the award. What if I wasn’t good enough?.. No of
course not. I was good enough. I just didn’t know
about the rumours, they had circulated really fast
like wild fire and I stood to lose this award based on
those grounds.
###############
“We need to get your outfit ready” my manager said

as we had lunch.
“Yes… I know. Do you think I will get it… I mean

the award?” I said hesitantly.
“Whether we get it or we don’t.. You have to stand

with your head high..” He responded.
“I really like your courage” I said.

“No I like yours… You still chose to come out here
even when you had every reason not to”. He said
as he rubbed my shoulder
” thank you Ben.. Can we go now…” I said as I got

up.
The afternoon was spent preparing for the following

days event. I had no time to get a designer so I had
to pick out a dress from the store.
Social media is a place I completely avoided, in fact

I deactivate all my social media accounts to wait for
the situation to normalise.
The day of the awards was extremely busy. I

travelled in complete chaos.. No makeup artist and
didn’t even bother hiring one.
###############
“We need to go..” My manger said as he waited on

my door.
“Just two more minutes and we’ll be there” I said.
I had managed to dress myself for the event and

was more than ready to walk the red carpet in style,
if Atusaye was around… I wouldn’t be showing up
alone. I thought.
The flash flights and the fame couldn’t fill the void
inside. I was a star but inside I was barely shining.
“You need to put a smile on your face.. Remember

everyone wants to see you and this is your chance
to make the best of the mess. You hear me…?” My
manager warned as we drove to the event.
“Yes.. I do .. I hear you”.. I said.
As I sat in the car viewing the beautiful lights of the

city of Lagos I could hardly breath… A big lump
chocked my throat and I was ready to cry but my
manger noticed.
” Mwansa.. This is part of being at the top.. I wish I

could say it is easy but no it isn’t. To achieve your
goals isn’t easy… Many people wish they were you
right now and as funny as it sounds even this
mess….. others are envying you for it. Mwansa
look at me… If you walk out there and face the
crowd with courage… I can assure you the devil
has failed”.. He said.
Ben was right.. Despite knowing I had to answer

many questions, I took the courage and stepped
out of the car.
Its like everyone was waiting to see me and hear

from me.
Cameras were in my face and microphones waiting
to hear my explanation but I smiled and gave a
short response each time.
#############
It wasn’t bad after all. I managed to get past the

questions and I was now settled waiting for the
awards to start.
Finally after waiting for so long, the nominees were

announced for the category where my movie was
featuring… It was a tense moment waiting for the
final announcement as Ben and I held our hands
tight
“Lord please let me scoop this, at least for all the

humiliation I’ve been through. I deserve this my
Jesus.” I said in my heart.
For a moment I was numb and everything stopped

as Ben shook me with excitement.
“What? Did we get it?” I asked with extreme joy.
“Of course we did! Let’s go… Let’s go” he

screamed with joy.
I stood up and we walked to the front.. It was the

best day of my life and yes of course the tears were
there. Plenty of them. God had given me much
more than I could have asked for.
Ben stepped aside as I walked up to the

microphone.
“I don’t know what to say…” I started..
“Well first of all I want to thank the Almighty God

because his grace…… Am sorry….. Give me a
minute” I said as I stopped to cry for a moment
“Get it together” I heard Ben whisper from the

background.
I cleared my thought and started afresh.
“Yes as I was saying…. The Almighty God alone

deserves the glory and praise because if it wasn’t
for him I wouldn’t be here…. Humiliation has been
a plate I’ve eaten from everyday of my life.. But
standing on this platform is proof that I serve a
Mighty God. I serve a Mighty God…” I shouted.
People cheered and gave me a standing ovation

and I felt comforted. I didn’t see Atusaye coming to
the front but I just realised he was on stage
standing next to me and held my shoulder before
taking the opportunity to say something.
“Ladies and gentlemen I just wanted to officially
clear the rumours. I am here and I am going
nowhere” he said.
While the crowd cheered Atusaye and i held hands

as I wore a fake smile. Surely they had to be a
reason for him to be there after his unexpected
silence.
################
My manager was extremely mad at me for even

allowing Atusaye be close to me and we met to
discuss it over breakfast the following day.
“He said he was sorry for believing everything” I

convincingly told Ben
“Oh and you believed him!!!! What’s wrong with

you? Are you that desperate to be in a
relationship??!!” He yelled.
“Ben calm down we are in a public place… He is

still the man I love and I understand the place he
was coming from when he fell for the lies” I said
trying to convince him.
“No please don’t even give me that excuse!!!! Your

boyfriend is just after your money and fame!” Ben
yelled.
We were in a five star restaurant and he was yelling
like he was talking to a child.
“Listen my dear… You had the one time

opportunity… Only one opportunity to get this man
out of your life for good and you instead chose to
welcome him back the moment he crawled back.
This is your career, in the entertainment world
relationships come and go. So put yourself together
and forget about him” Ben said.
I didn’t believe everything he said except one

thing…
Maybe he was right, maybe Atusaye was just after

my money. But he had never asked me for a cent
ever since we had been together. Was he waiting
to marry me before he could have it all?
Yes it made sense…. If the rumours had been

going on for so long why then did he choose to
forgive me now?..
I mean now of all times?. It’s obviously because he

knew I was now climbing to the top.
Yes it made sense.
What Ben didn’t know was that Atusaye had just

dropped me at the hotel room the previous night
and we didn’t even talk. However. We had agreed
to meet over lunch to discuss our relationship.
############################
“You look really look good Mwansa” Atusaye

complimented as we arrived at the restaurant.
“Thank you… I really appreciate.” I responded.
We settled and ordered our food as we began to

discuss.
“Am sorry for believing everything I heard… I guess

I was too fast” he said.
“I understand….” I responded as I cleared my

thoughts.
“Does that mean you forgive me?” He asked.
I cleared my throat and put the fork on the table.
“Atusaye what do you take me for?” I asked bluntly

as I stared into his eyes.
“What do you mean by that Mwansa?… He asked

me.
“Look Atusaye I guess I would like to speak first..” I

said
“Yes honey you go first am listening” he said.
“I know you think am foolish… But your games are

too small for me I’ve been through a lot in life…”
” and I completely understand that” he interrupted.
“Speak please what is it?” He asked me.
“Atusaye… I just can’t. I mean … I know we love

each other and everything but I can’t… Today its
this, God knows what it will be tomorrow” I said as I
became emotional.
“I want to be with you … I really do but my suffering

will never end if I choose you.. Can’t you see it?.
Our enemies will keep showing up.. Anything to do
with you is a risk Atusaye.. Its always been and I
can’t do that anymore I deserve to be happy” I
cried.
Atusaye was shocked and he came close to me…
Mwansa please listen to I’ve not been sleeping….
“And you think I have?… You think I have

Atusaye!!!!” I screamed in tears.
We had to leave the restaurant because things
were getting tense. I was angry and so was
Atusaye.
Atusaye took me to the hotel but he also wanted to

stay over and talk. But i refused. I guess the only
way I could truly be happy is to accept that my
happiness was dependant on myself and not on
other people. Especially not Atusaye.
He however insisted on taking me to the airport the

following morning and I agreed. We agreed to
remain friends
Tbc
That night I hardly slept, Atusaye was out of my life

but my heart was far from being at peace. I felt a
grief inside and I couldn’t explain what it was. What
surprised me was that i felt calm about Atusaye but
something else felt strange inside. Maybe my mind
was playing tricks on me.
It was too much and slowly started becoming

unbearable.
I forced myself to sleep that night but I couldn’t and

calling Atusaye was the last thing I wanted to do. I
was going to see him the following morning anyway
so I didn’t have to bother him.
I kept tossing and turning in my bed and I finally
decide to start browsing through old pictures in my
phone. Most of my pictures were take with Atusaye
and now I felt worse
Luckily when it was almost 2am I managed to dose

off and slept
**********************************************
I rushed to shower the moment I got up, it was only

40minutes before Atusaye could arrive and I didn’t
want to delay him.
After getting ready and making sure everything was

packed, I checked out of the hotel and waited in the
lounge while i had some coffee.
It was time for him to come and he did not show up.
I waited for an hour to no avail.
It was unlike Atusaye to behave like that, he never

disappointed me like that. Atusaye was one smart
man with time and he always teased me when I
was late.
The worst part was that I did not have the line he
was using in Nigeria. However, he had mentioned
the hotel he was booked in so I took a taxi that took
me there.
Panicking and not knowing what to do I rushed to
the reception and asked what room he was in.
The receptionist mentioned that Atusaye was a

resident at that hotel but didn’t come back the
previous night.
After begging the receptionist, she gave me the

number he was using and I decided to call him.
The phone rang the first time with no answer. I

called again and on the fourth attempt someone
picked up.
“Halo.. How are you related to the owner of the

phone?” A female voice answered.
I was annoyed and ready to yell. Was atusaye

having an affair in Nigeria? Or did he come with
another woman?.
If this was his other woman, I was ready to stage a

show in Nigeria and I would be deported back to
Zambia in no time. How could he move on so
soon…
“I’m his wife and you are?” I asked rudely.
“Well madam you need rush to the main hospital

right now. Your husband was in an accident last
night..” The woman said.
My heart crushed and I suddenly became weak.
“Madam can i talk to him please” I begged.
“He is in too much pain and he can’t talk right now,

just be here as fast as you can”.. The lady said
before hanging up.
With the help of the receptionist, I rushed to

Atusaye’s room and I picked his bag before
dashing out to the hospital.
################################
My heart bled seeing the man I love so dearly lying

down speechless and in so much pain. He made no
movement or expression to show that he had seen
me. His eyes just stared in my direction.
I became so weak and tears rolled down my

cheeks. I cried bitterly until the nurse moved me
outside.
” you are not supposed to cry like that. Pray for him.
You have the power as his wife to stand in the gap
for him. Don’t mourn in front of him.. He may not be
able to move or talk to you but he can clearly hear
you. If you know his favourite song sing it to him
gently but most importantly pray for him” the nurse
said.
“What is wrong with him nurse? Is he going to be
OK? I mourned.
” my dear look at me.. Do you believe in God?” She

asked me.
“Yes I do with all of my heart” I responded.
“Do you trust that he can do exelceedinhly and

abundantly above all that you can ever ask?”
“Yes… I do…” I cried.
“Then wipe those tears and ask for Gods strength..

Go in there and be strong for your spouse. Pray my
dear pray” she said.
When the nurse walked away I said a short

panicking prayer and called Clara.
Clara couldn’t hold herself and she burst into tears.

She assured me that they would take the first plane
to Nigeria.
I went back to check on Atusaye and as I looked at

him I regretted asking him to be my friend. How
could I do that?
I sat by the bedside and held his hand.

“Honey.. I give up.. I give up on all life has thrown
at me… I admit today that you are the man God
has destined for me and if you can hear me
Atusaye I want you to know that I love you. I love
you with all of my heart. I love you so much that I
am willing to take your place in this bed and bear
the pain for you”.. I said calmly as tears rolled down
my cheeks.
” my love, my husband to be.. Get well soon .. How

will we have a wedding with you in this state..” I
cried.
Without even realising it, I calmly started singing

Israel’s song “hold on” . The song Atusaye had
dedicated to me when we first fell in love.
“Fili eko tuleya nigwililile chabe baby… Ma

pressure ni normal basiye chabe batiseke..”
My eyes were closed and as I sang tears rolled

down my cheeks… all the way down to my neck.
What more pain could surpass this?. You really

never know how strong you are until being strong is
your only option.
I felt a slight movement as I was still holding

Atusaye, it felt like he moved his finger. But I
continued singing in disbelief.
“Suddenly I felt him grip my hand really tight and I
opened my eyes.
” nurse! Nurse!” I called out.
The nurse came running with the doctor.
“He’s moving.. His moving..” I shouted.
The doctor commanded the nurse to take me

outside while he started working on Atusaye. I
could see Atusaye struggling to breath and I
mourned terribly as the nurse led me outside.
I threw myself on the lawn as I cried our to God in

prayer.
“Jesus!!! Jesus!!!.. Save him please!. Save the man

I love so much or take me too. Why did you give
him to me if you knew you would never allow us the
chance to be happy??? Answer me Lord!!!!!” I
mourned.
I said so many things as I begged God to save

Atusaye’s
A woman ran to me and she comforted me. I

couldn’t hear everything she was saying as she
wasn’t very fluent in English but she was asking me
to be strong.
When I was no longer crying the woman asked to
leave as she needed to get back to work, she was
a cleaner at the hospital.
Thoughts remained flashing on my mind of Atusaye

in our happiest moments and even the saddest
moments.
I was holding Atusaye’s jacket in my hands that he

wore the night of the accident and it was ripped
badly. I threw it over my legs that were getting cold
and I was astonished to see something fall out of
the jacket.
It was a small red box.
When I opened it inside was a silver and diamond

ring. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I pulled it out
and noticed it had engravings inside that read “I
love you Mwansa”.
This man loved me so much and I had been so

blind to see. Why was our love tested so much?.
Pain filled my heart again and tears started falling. I

slipped the ring on my finger and kissed it.
“Madam… Madam… Please come with me” I heard

the nurse call out.
I quickly wiped my tears, got up and rushed after
her.
Tbc
TEARS OF A HELPLESS WOMAN CHAPTER 29.
As I rushed behind the nurse, fear paralysed my

mind.
Was I rushing for good news or bad news? Along

the corridor I saw a woman mourning and asking
God for an explanation. She had just lost a loved
one, was I going to be in the same situation soon?.
The thought of it all frightened me so badly that I

started reciting PSALMS 23. Davids confidence in
God through that prayer calmed my spirit.
The walk along the hallway felt like the longest

walk. Atusaye was on my mind and I was praying
with every fibre in my veins that he survives this
accident.
Finally the nurse made a turn, it wasn’t the ward I

hard earlier left Atusaye in but it was another
private ward.
Wondering whether to question the nurse what was

happening, I bit my lips and folded my arms. I was
feeling very cold. It wasn’t cold but the fear brought
a very unpleasant breeze.
I hated the sight of hospitals, they all seemed like
death traps to me and this one was no different.
“Madam sit over there am coming” the nurse said

as she pointed towards a bench that was near the
ward. She entered the ward alone and as soon as
she was in, a doctor walked out. Now this
frightened me more.
“Doctor… Doctor wait.. How’s the patient?” I asked

as I ran after him.
“Take a sit madam you will be informed soon” he

responded as he continued walking.
Did this man know how I was feeling?. Soon

sounded like forever. Besides he knew so I don’t
understand why he wouldn’t just tell me.
“Madam.. You can come and see the patient” the

nurse said.
I couldn’t read her face, but she called me to see

the patient. Meaning he had to be alive at least.
I entered quickly and walked to the beside. It was a

private room so he was alone.
Atusaye’s eyes were closed but I could tell he was

breathing, his face expressionless. He looked like
he was really tired and so I avoided waking him up.
Gently, I dragged a chair and sat by the bedside. I
began to recite prayers in silence while I looked at
him.
**********************************************
It had been 4hours and Atusaye was still in deep

sleep, the nurses told me he was on strong
medication to ease the pain. He needed to do an
operation but first he needed to feel better
otherwise it would be too unbearable for him.
I didn’t want to leave his side, even just to use the

toilet. The nurses advised me to rest as it was now
night time but I didn’t want to sleep. How could I
when the love of my life was in that condition?.
I watched the day turn into night and the night turn
into day but my dear Atusaye was still in deep
sleep. He neither winked nor move a muscle, not
even smile at me or even frown. At this point I
preferred the arguments to seeing him in that state.
Every minute was critical, I couldn’t shut my eyes. I
concentrated a lot on his chest as his shirt gently
vibrated. It made me aware that he was still
breathing, still holding on to me.
The nurse and doctor came in for their morning

round, I was asked to step outside. I didn’t want to
but I obeyed and slowly walked outside. My body
was fatigued, and I felt weak.
The hunger had now hit me so i went to the hospital
canteen and bought some soup. After taking 3
hipped tablespoons of the hot chicken soup my
throat blocked. I couldn’t swallow any further.. I
couldn’t eat knowing Atusaye was hungry, he had
been lying in that bed undergoing treatment yet
unable to eat or drink. What was the medicine
Working on? An empty stomach?.
Tears clouded my eyes and in one blink my face

was wet. I cried profoundly, questioning God in my
heart when this suffering would end.
I got up leaving the soup ball on the bench and took

a tour of the hospital, praying and hoping things
could get better. I was in a foreign land where I
went to get my recognition but it came with a lot of
stress.
As I decided to go back to the hospital ward my

phone rang. I couldn’t recognise the number but I
could tell it was Nigerian.
“Halo…” I answered calmly.
“Halo my dear its Clara. How do we get to the

hospital?” She asked.
I gave them directions and went to check on

Atusaye as I waited for them to come.
The nurse cornered me before I could reach the
ward.
“He is awake, don’t stress him with conversation..

Make sure he rests” the nurse said.
Atusaye’s eyes where closed but I could tell he

noticed the presence of a person by his bedside as
he slowly opened his eyes.
I moved the chair closer to his bedside and I

noticed his face become bright and the left corner
of his lips bended into a gentle smile.
He was restless but he still smiled at me.
“I love you honey” I whispered.
Atusaye’s smile widened and he nodded his head

before closing his eyes again.
I held on to his hand and leaned my head on his

bed as I too fell asleep.
**********************************************
I was woken up by a loud mourning voice and my

heart skipped. Clara was in the room with
Atusaye’s mother who was screaming on top of her
voice.
I looked at Atusaye and he was still sleeping
peacefully so I gently left his hand as I tried to
advice Clara to take mum outside.
“What are you saying!!!!!” Atusaye’s mother yelled.
“You are a witch and if my son listened to me, we

wouldn’t be here!!!!!” she mourned.
Those words echoed in me and I couldn’t believe

what I was hearing. I was hurt but Atusaye was my
biggest concern at that point.
The nurse came in and Atusaye’s mother was

taken outside.
Atusaye started coughing uncontrollably and the

nurse called the doctor. They said he was
frightened and that increased his breathing causing
him to cough badly. They managed to stabilise him
and I finally heard him say a word….. it was my
name.
He called out my name.
The nurse asked me to hold his hand so he could

be aware of my presence which I did and he looked
at me with a smile.
Clara was indifferent towards me and as we sat by
Atusaye’s bedside together, I could tell she did not
want me there.
I rested my head on Atusaye’s bed again as I held

on to him and dosed off.
Suddenly a rough tap on my shoulder woke me up.
“Mum wants to see her son but you have to leave

first, she doesn’t want you here” I heard Clara say.
I couldn’t believe what I heard so I looked clearly at

Clara who was seated next to me by the bedside.
“I said mum wants to come and see her only son.

Can you please excuse us?” Clara said rudely.
I smiled gently trying to brush the anger away.
“If mum wants to see him let her come in, Atusaye
does not want me to leave his side so I can’t go
anywhere” I responded calmly.
“You have managed to make a fool out of everyone

in this family but not me and certainly not my
mother, maybe Mrs. Martins who welcomed you
into her house after picking you from God knows
where”.. She said angrily.
I did not respond but just took in a deep sigh and
turned around to look at Atusaye.
After a moment of silence Clara left the ward.
A lot of pain stirred up inside but I let it go with a

short prayer.
Suddenly Clara bulged in this time with her mother

and the nurse.
The nurse came to me and politely asked me to

follow her outside.
I opposed as I didn’t want to leave Atusaye’s side.
“madam I know how you feel, you’re the wife but

she is the mother. Please give her a chance to see
her son” the nurse said.
“Wife???? No! Make no mistake she is not the wife

but a maid who has made a living by reaping off
men. ” Atusaye’s mother shouted.
“Its OK madam keep your voice down” the nurse

interrupted.
“This woman here actually has another man” Clara

yelled in the background.
As all this chaos was taking place Atusaye was
asleep peacefully while I shed tears
“Clara you know that’s not true” I cried.
Clara looked at me disgustingly from head to toe,

you could tell my plea meant nothing to her.
“Dear let’s go…” The nurse said as she held my

hand.
Despite trying to resist, the nurse insisted i go.
I cried bitterly as I let go of Atusaye’s hand and

followed the nurse outside.
Tbc
31 and 32 episodes

and 31
I sat on the bench for an hour shedding tears and

wishing I did not find myself in this predicament.
The nurse came and sat next to me as I wept.
“Dear I’ve seen you crying for hours. Don’t you get
tired?.. I’m sorry I don’t mean to be rude but I have
never seen a woman so emotional. Instead of
praying for your partner and keeping the faith, why
are you crying?” She asked me.
“I have been through too much” you would never
understand..” I said.
“I need you to tell me every single thing but first the

patients bill has to be settled. Who is responsible
for thar?” She asked.
“I will settle it how much is the bill?” I asked.
“You have to go to the accounts office. I can take

you there” she said.
With the help of the nurse I went to the Accounts

office.
The nurse explained that if all went well Atusaye

may not need an operation, however, if their
suspicions were right then he might have a
dislocated knee.
After I settled the bill I sat outside and got a pen to

draft all that I had been through, starting from life
alone up until I met Atusaye. It was a painful story
to write.
################################
The nurse who spoke to me had just signed out of

her shift and she asked me to take a walk with her
around the hospital while we discussed.
As I narrated my story to her, I noticed she was
fighting back tears but she assured me that all
would be well.
Although she insisted that I go and pass a night at

her house, I still wanted to be with Atusaye so I
passed on the offer.
The nurse directed me to a chapel within the

hospital and I went there to pray. The whole night I
offered Atusaye’s life into Gods hands and I asked
for the grace of God to rest upon our lives.
I constantly reminded myself of Jeremiah 33v3 and

I called God holding him by his word and sincerely
trusting that he would not fail me.
After praying for so long and losing every strength I

had left, I lay on the floor facing the altar as I went
on singing praises.
I heard someone walk into the chapel but I

maintained my position.
“I knew I would find you here” I heard the voice say.
It was the kind nurse.
“How are you madam and why are you back?” I

asked her as I stretched myself.
“Dear its morning, I have a morning shift” she said.
“Is it?” I asked in shock.
“Yes I knew you lost track of time, you look

fatigued. Did you sleep?” She asked me.
“No…” I calmly responded.
“Dear I have good news for you but first sit here
with me you look tired” she said as she sat on a
bench.
When I was settled she looked at me and smiled.
“Your husband.. I mean your partner…”
“Nurse you can call him my husband its fine” I

corrected her.
“Yes…. Your husband will not under go an

operation. You must have really prayed because
even I was in a state of shock when the doctor said
that.” she said.
“Huh?? Are you telling the truth??” I said with

excitement as my eyes became teary.
“There you go again dear… Why? Why are you
crying?” She asked me as she put her hand on my
shoulder.
“I’m so sorry I don’t mean to… I’m just happy..

Please can I see him?” I asked in tears.
“I will make a plan so your mother in-law does not

see you. Now wipe your tears.. I will be right back”
she said.
The nurse hurriedly left and I waited patiently.
She came in after a while and asked me to follow

her.
Atusaye was seated upright and I couldn’t believe

it. He was still a little weak but was so happy to see
me.
I hugged him really tight and he cried on my

shoulder, I couldn’t help but cry too.
“Why did you leave my side? Even when I was

weak, I could feel your presence and I was
comforted by your presence” He said
“Honey I may have left your side but i carried you

with me. I have been in the hospital chapel praying
for you.” I said..
Atusaye and I were still in a hugging position.
“Baby I’m weak but I will be OK, I promise you. I

won’t leave your side” I heard him say.
I helped him lay back in bed and I covered him half

way. We held hands and talked. He was very
happy although he was still weak.
The nurse came in and said his mother wanted to

come back in but Atusaye insisted that if she
wanted to come in, she had to be OK with me being
around.
The nurse went and communicated this with her but

she refused to come in unless I left.
“Honey I think let me go outside. I will be back later

let mum see you first” I said to Atusaye.
“No honey don’t leave my side” he insisted as he

held onto my hand.
After close to an hour his mother and sister decided

to join in and they sat. None of them said a word to
me but Atusaye talked to me when he could.
Often occasions his mother interrupted and asked

me to shut up so Atusaye could rest but eventually
Atusaye started another conversation and we got
talking again.
It was almost time for lunch and Atusaye asked me
to go and get him food. He wanted okra and
chicken just like the meal we had on our first official
date.
Luckily, the nurse offered her kitchen and she

asked her brother to pick me up.
I showered And changed at her house and quickly

prepared the food.
**********************
“Honey you’re back. I was waiting for you” Atusaye

said with a smile.
He looked much stronger and happy.
The stares I was getting from his family made me

nervous but I stayed strong for my dear Atusaye.
After dishing the food Atusaye insisted that we eat

together and I joined him on the bed as we ate.
“Mum.. This is my wife” Atusaye said to his mother

as ate.
“Elo efyo cakulisha icipuba ici fikali” his mum said

(Whatever charm this fool has fed you is really
strong)
I could see she was very angry but I did what I had
to do and ignored her.
“Honey can I give you some water?” I asked him.
Atusaye’s sister rolled her eyes as I gave him water

to drink and she got up leaving the ward angrily. I
wish she understood that I was innocent in all this
matter.
Atusaye insisted that I go and rest at home that

night and I went to sleep back at his hotel room.
Things were looking good and I talked to him
before i fell asleep. He insisted I go early in the
morning so we have breakfast together.
The following morning just like I promised, I was

there on time and I got some breakfast from the
canteen which Atu and I ate together.
The doctor then suggested that Atu starts

physiotherapy for at least 2weeks before he could
be discharged.
7+
kindly ignore mistakes”

Atusaye and I travelled to the united States with the
Martin’s to celebrate our engagement but most
importantly, I wanted to get a princes wedding
gown by Pinina and I found the perfect dress.
I didn’t know what to put together when planning for

the special day, all along i knew I wanted a fairytale
wedding but the time finally came and I was blank.
Clara suggested she knew a planner who could

help and she was right. The man knew what he
was doing.
I was so calm through the planning process, no

stress whatsoever. I was just glad that i was getting
married to the man of my dreams.
Despite everything I went through, I really wanted

to have my uncle walk me down the aisle.
Unfortunately he was still in prison so Mr. Martins
took that gap and filled in for the father I never had.
**********************************************
The morning of the wedding was so peaceful, I

woke up feeling very emotional. I couldn’t believe I
was finally going to be with the love of my life, i had
really suffered and now I was a few hours away
from being a wife.
Atusaye was just that gift I needed from above and

he came at the perfect time.
The matron who happened to be Mrs. Martin’s was
very helpful. She made sure I was dressed on time
and she kept me calm. She also made sure
everything was sorted.
We spent a night at Clara’s house, she hosted us

and took care of our sleeping and food
arrangement. I was marrying into a wonderful
family that was so selfless and this was comforting,
despite what the devil ploted in Nigeria, I managed
to reconcile with Clara and my mother in-law.
Joy and faith were in charge of makeup and they

worked their magic on our faces while keeping
mindful of time as they too were on the lineup. My
bridesmaids included Clara, Joy, Faith and Joy
(Atusaye’s sister)
***********************
When we were all ready I gathered all my bridal
party in one place because i had something
important to say.
“I would like to thank you all for being a part of my

life, each one of you has had a very important part
to play in my life. As you know my life has been a
roller coaster, I’ve had so many ups and downs..
The downs being many but all in all I thank God.
Today I want to thank God because he has shown
his mercy. I know marriage is not easy but with God
at the centre i know i will enjoy every moment. I
want us to pray.. Please pray for me as I take this
journey” I said emotionally.
“I agree my dear and I think we should pray now

and for your husband too. I know my brother and I
have no doubt he will make you a happy wife.” Mrs
Martin’s said as she rubbed my shoulder.
Clara spread a mat in the bedroom and I knelt

down there while my bridesmaids surrounded me
as they held hands. Mrs. Martin’s led into a strong
prayer and everyone joined in, it was strong,
powerful and touched every area including our
unborn children.
When Mrs. Martin’s concluded the prayer a breath

of fresh air filled the room and I was calm and
peaceful. It was finally happening… I was going to
get married in less than an hour.
Mrs Martin’s dropped my veil and handed me my

bouquet, the most emotional part of my morning
was being covered under the veil.
As I slowly walked out my bridesmaids ululated. My

heart was overjoyed. This was me… Mwansa
Yande finally getting married, leaving behind the
horrible life I had led. Each step reminded me of the
small chicken run I grew up in. The smell of chicken
feed and chicken manure came back.. The faith
and hope I had in having a better life clouded my
mind, the sleepless nights, tears and hungry days.
If this God isn’t to be praised then I don’t know who
deserves the praise.
I was a maid in ripped clothes without anything to

my name but now I was not only independent but
also getting married to a wonderful man. I was an
outcast but God still saw it fit that I be called his
own.
Who wouldn’t want to serve a God like that?.
**********************
As the vehicle moved all I could think about was

Atusaye, I couldn’t wait to see his face and his look.
Mrs Martin’s sat next to and she kept reminding me
to breathe and take in the moment.
The vehicle finally pulled over at the venue of the

marriage blessing ceremony.
When I was informed the bridesmaids had settled

inside my heart suddenly started racing but I had to
be calm.
Mr. Martins came to open the door and he held my

hand . We slowly walked to the chapel entrance.
“You’re nervous relax” Mr Marin’s whispered as we

stood at the entrance. The bridesmaids had just
made their way in and it was almost our turn to
enter.
As I stared at the chapel door and imagined just

how Atusaye was smiling it made me feel better
and calm.
The doors slowly opened and the celebrant asked

everyone to stand up to welcome the bride…… The
bride who happened to be myself. Mwansa Yande
was finally going to be a wife.
The keyboard finally started to play “here comes

the bride”
While holding on to Mr Martin’s we walked slowly

into the beautifully decorated chapel. Just how I
imagined it, the ceremony was peach and white.
Material hang from the ceiling and it looked
beautiful.
My princess Pinina wedding gown was glowing with

the crystals flashing as people admired. The neck
piece and tiara were all shipped from the USA…..
just simply amazing.
I looked up to peep and Atusaye was facing the

front, he clearly heard not to look behind until he
was asked to. I could see his hands make fists as if
he was nervous.
“Awwww he must be anxious” I thought
*********************
“Who gives this Lady away in marriage?” The

celebrant asked.
“I do” Mr martins replied.
When Atusaye got my hand from Mr. Martin’s I got

so emotional but I contained the tears.
“You look gorgeous honey” he whispered
I smiled hearing those wonderful words coming

from my husband to be.
It was a beautiful service, the preaching touched

my heart. Atusaye kept stealing glances at me and
we smiled at each other often all through the
service.
***********************
THE VOWS
ATUSAYE:: One boring afternoon I took a drive to

relax my mind and refresh my thoughts. Little did I
know that drive was going to be the beginning of
something beautiful. That day i met a young lady,
She looked very tired and frustrated with life. To me
she was a diamond in the rough and I believed it
the first time I set my eyes on her. From that
moment I knew she was no ordinary girl and I told
God if I drove back and found her there then I
would be taking her home with me. I quickly
informed my sister of this young lady I had finally
found to help her with the chores. She agreed
without hesitating and just like God had planned
it…. I found her there. Mwansa my love no amount
of pain that life has thrown at me has or can
succeed in changing my feelings for you. Today I’m
joining myself to you accepting that you are the
only woman destined for me. I promise to love and
always stand by you, through hard times and good
times. I can’t afford to be away from you any longer
my love. My promise to you is eternity of
togetherness through the the laughter and the
tears.
********
I was emotional hearing Atusaye recite those

words, knowing they came straight from his heart
made it even extra special.
The celebrant extended the mic towards me.
“I wouldn’t want to be you right now … The

pressure is on” the celebrant teased.
The congregation laughed and ululated. Indeed the
pressure was on, how could I ever top the beautiful
vows Atusaye made.
I cleared my throat and smiled. I knew Atusaye

could see the smile from my veil because he smiled
too.
MY VOWS:: My love Atusaye.. you showed me a

new side of life.
# The emotions were too many so i stopped a little

to gather myself #
“Breath honey” I heard Atusaye whisper.
Its like his words triggered the emotions more and

tears trailed down.
I smiled trying to block the tears but it was too late.
“Atusaye you got me my first brand new dress as

opposed to the hand me downs I grew up wearing.
The first time I ever smelt good, you were behind it.
You washed the dirt out of me and gave me
courage to pursue my dreams… Just that alone
gave me drive to work hard and one day be able to
afford my own clothes and perfume. Today.. I can
testify that God is indeed able. He really is faithful
and because of him today I am getting married to
my best friend, my motivator, my confidant and the
most courageous man I know. He is my rock loving
and shielding me through every storm. This man
standing opposite me has taught me to love and
trust again”
At this time tears had already flooded my face and I

was shaking.
Atusaye equally broke down and the celebrant

asked for a moment of silence to allow us calm
down. It was very emotional.
“God if I had to do this over again I would choose

this path again” Atusaye whispered in between the
tears
The celebrant was amazed at the love we

expressed for each other and he challenged the
guests to believe in love. He said::
“True love is patient and overcomes every storm”
“What can I say? Who am I not to bless this union?”

The celebrant added
The rings were brought forward by Joy (Atusaye’s

sister) who was my maid of honour. Having blessed
the rings the celebrant handed one ring to Atusaye
and asked him to repeat the vows of commitment.
As Atusaye held the ring towards my finger I could
tell he was still very emotional.
“Mwansa take this ring as a sign of my love and

fidelity, in the name of the father and of the of the
holy spirit”
The crowd cheered really loud and now it was my

turn. I kept reminding myself that it was really true
and that it was really happening.
Holding the ring toward his finger I repeated the

words::
“Atusaye take this ring as a sign of my love and

fidelity, in the name of the father and of the son and
of the holy spirit. Amen”
The ululating was loud as people clapped and

congratulated us.
The certificate was presented before us and we

signed it with Mr and Mrs Martin’s standing as
witness.
The moment everyone was waiting for finally came.
The celebrant cracked a few jokes before asking

Atusaye to unveil his bride.
“Atusaye as you unveil you bride say these words
after me….”
“Bone of my bone, flesh of my flash.. Her name is

Mwansa Ruhai” Atusaye recited as he unwrapped
my veil.
“Ladies and gentleman by the power invested in

me, I now introduce to you for the first time Mr and
Mrs Ruhai!!!”
The crowd rolled with cheers and laughter as

Atusaye and i kissed.
Well I must say that kiss was one of a kind.
We both burst into laughter after the kiss because

Atusaye wore all my lipstick.
And just like that I was officially Atusaye’s wife.
**********************************************
We had just finished having lunch at Clara’s house

after the studio photoshoot, it was almost time for
the reception.
Atusaye and i had a table set out for us privately

where we had our lunch and the rest of the bridal
ate in the dinning room.
“Honey I need to change into my second dress” I
said to Atusaye.
“Oh that’s great then let me escort you” he

responded.
“Honey??” I responded shyly.
“What? I am your husband..” he insisted as he

winked at me.
He had a silly smile on his face and he kept

winking.
“Oh honey stop it…. Can I at least worry about that

after the wedding.. Please let me go alone” I
insisted.
Atusaye was clearly amazed by my persistence

and it just made him more eager to escort me but
he finally let me have my way.
“You better get used to this arrangement” he

giggled.
The thought of just sharing a bed with Atusaye that

night killed me and I wished the reception could last
forever. I was so nervous
*********************
I had just finished changing into my second dress in
readiness for the wedding reception when I walked
out to meet Atusaye, he was blown away and kept
reminding me how beautiful I was.
“Honey I hope you are ready to dance because am

ready to jive” he teased.
“I got two left feet but we got this” I giggled.
****************
We finally arrived at the beautiful Ananda lodge

where our wedding reception would take place.
Outside we could tell the guest were aware of our
arrival from the loud screams and ululating
The grand entrance into the reception got everyone

on their feet, Little had I known Atusaye’s feet had
great rhythm.
The audience was taken by surprise seeing how

my husband and I killed it on the dancefloor.
It was a day to definitely remember and we gave
the media something to talk about.
The favourite part of the reception was cutting into

the gorgeous 15tier velvet wedding cake, the kiss
and finally our dance to the theme track of our
relationship “hold on by Israel”.
That wasn’t the best part yet.
The master of ceremony surprised the crowd

including my self when he asked me to stand and
sit on a chair that was place at the centre of the
hall.
The lights went off for a few minutes and when they
went back on, Atusaye and his groomsmen were
standing in front of me, they had removed their
jackets but had put on hats.
” what’s going on?” I whispered to Atusaye.
Suddenly a track by Runtown “mad over you”

started playing and the men started their routine.
Awwww…….. it was so romantic seeing Atusaye

slide from one direction to the other in
what seemed like a Michael Jackson inspired
dance.
The wedding sealed off with our send off track

“unajaila” the danceable version by Tiye p featuring
Kekero.
************
I am just a blessed girl. Blessed beyond mans

understanding.
SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 34.
TEARS OF A HELPLESS
WOMAN 33 (Finale)
We stood outside greeting guests as they

congratulated us on our nuptials. Indeed people
were impressed with our beautiful love and
romantic wedding.
As we cheerfully spoke to everyone, my mind kept

dreading the thought of going to our room. If only I
could delay things.
We couldn’t greet everyone but managed to greet a

few and finally got into our car. A beautiful room
was waiting for us at protea hotel.
As the car headed to the hotel, i suddenly went

quiet and Atusaye noticed I was nervous.
“Honey… Are you OK?” He whispered.
“Yes my love I’m fine… I can’t believe we’re

married” I said.
“You’re nervous aren’t you?”. Atusaye said as he

put his hand over my shoulder.
I smiled at him without a word.

The vehicle finally pulled over at protea hotel and it
was time to go to our room. Goodness me, my
tummy was boiling and my heart was racing. Was I
going to be clumsy? Would I irritate him?. Many
thoughts rushed my mind.
We got into the elevator ready to go up and I could

notice Atusaye was already getting too comfortable
and it made me more nervous.
” baby I’m your husband.. ” he said as he pulled me

closer to him.
I smiled nervously and waited patiently for the

elevator to open.
“You are so nervous” he said again.
I quietly lay my head on his chest until the elevator

opened.We walked hand in hand to the hotel room
and I was blown away by what I saw. The petals on
the floor, chocolate, cake and some champagne.
The room was beautifully set and Atusaye had

actually got me a a few clothes.
“We’re here” Atusaye said as if trying to remind me

of what had to happen.
“Honey I want to shower” I quickly said.

Atusaye giggled, he knew I was just trying to buy
time.
“OK so do I” he responded.
“Huh… Honey I said it first” I opposed him.
“Well we shall shower together… As a couple” he

emphasised.
“Oh dear Lord should I be regretting my decision to

stay a virgin, maybe things would not have been so
awkward” I thought.
“Honey I’m waiting for you to change so we go and

shower” Atusaye said.
My heart raced but after some convincing and

some sweet words I gave in.
**********************************************
It was the morning after the wedding and I had just

opened my eyes, still feeling very tired and finally
getting used to the idea of being married.
“Good morning” my husband said as he turned to

look at me.
“Morning” I shyly responded.

“Your innocence amuses me” he teased.
“Honey don’t start…”
“What??? I’m just saying.. You look beautiful this

morning Bana mpundu (mother of twins)” he
teased.
“What?? No way” I opposed as I covered myself.
“Well will see about that” he giggled.
“Do you already feel like throwing up?, loss of

appetite??” He teased..
“So soon?” I asked as I uncovered myself.
“Well then I should discredit myself.. I’m not a man”
We both burst into laughter and continued chatting

and cuddling all through the day.
**********************************************
We had to go home and prepare for our

honeymoon which was in two day’s time. We still
had to pack up a lot of things in the house too.
Luckily, Joy and Clara came in handy and they
helped with packing up all our items. Merging
everything we separately owned wasn’t easy but
we had to meet half way on many things.
I was so tired on the morning of our flight, the past
two days had been hectic and I hardly rested. We
travelled first class to Dubai and we both actually
spent most of our flight sleeping.
What better way to put this ………
Our honeymoon was great, Atusaye and I made the

best of every moment and made sure we captured
every moment.We visited many places and did
quite some shopping. It was just amazing.
Going back home to finally kick start our marriage

was something I looked forward to, I really wanted
to be domestic for my husband. You know?
Each day I spent with the love of my life was filled

with so much joy and laughter, we stood by each
other and always prayed together I believe this kept
us stronger.
*********************
3 WEEKS AFTER HONEY
One Saturday morning Atusaye was in the living

room watching television while I was stuffing
beddings in the washing machine. I had a cup of
hot chocolate on the side and I kept drinking it.
All of a sudden I felt dizzy and a strong urge to
throw up and I rushed to the bathroom, Atusaye
heard me and he rushed to the bathroom.
“Bana mpundu (mother of twins) are you OK?” He

asked me.
Atusaye always referred to me as a mother of twins

since our wedding day.
“I don’t know honey guess I’ve had had too much of

the hot chocolate” I said
“I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking that stuff a lot,

since yesterday” he said.
“Have I? Ohhh.. It’s always been my favourite

brand” I said as I gathered myself up again.
” too much of anything is bad honey..” Atusaye

warned.
I quickly prepared lunch but I felt really awful and

no appetite for the food. However, I wanted to lick
peanut butter.
After I finished setting the table, Atusaye asked me

to join him but he noticed I had a peanut butter
bottle in my hands with a spoon.
“Are you licking that stuff?”

“Yes honey I’m not hungry” I said reluctantly as I
folded my legs on the couch.
“That’s it honey.. That confirms it” he said as he

stood up.
“Confirms what? What are you talking about?” I

asked in shock.
“You’re pregnant he said excitedly as he came to

lift me.
” honey wait.
Are you sure?… Its just fatigue” I opposed.
Hubby and I quickly rushed to the hospital to

confirm the suspicions and just like he guessed, the
pregnancy test was accurately positive.
The excitement on Atusaye’s face and the dance

he did in that ward was ecstatic, the nurses were
amused at how excited he was and one of them
mentioned that she had never seen such
excitement before.
**********************************************
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

All along Atusaye had been sure we would have
twins but the scan results were shocking, we were
expecting not one, not two but three children…
triplets!!. I was so overwhelmed hearing the news
and it made me really excited to meet the babies.
All through the wait, Atusaye had proven to be the

best husband a woman could ask for. He helped
with all the house chores and made sure I was well
rested. He attended to all my needs even when I
happened to be very impossible.
The morning of February 14th on Valentine’s day,

my husband and I welcomed our three children. 2
handsome boys and one beautiful girl. What long
debate it was to finally get the names for the
children but we finally agreed on one thing. Our first
boy to be born was named King, the second boy
was Duke and our baby girl was named Princess.
The boys resembled so much and were a clear
copy of their father while Princess had a little of our
features combined, she was beautiful.
My uncle was finally released from jail and he was

so apologetic. Though it wasn’t easy, I took it to the
Lord in prayer one step at time
**********************************************
Well I finally had my happily ever after, my home

had 3boys and two girls (mummy and Princess).
Every step of the way has been a blessing,
watching Atusaye teach our boys how to ride
bicycles and play soccer was so beautiful. Princess
and I played with dolls and cooked together.
All in all, we are one big happy family. I surely had

my fairytale and so can you. God is never late, he
is always on time and it doesn’t matter what stage
you’re at in life… Its never too late to surrender to
him because he alone is capable of turning your life
around. He turned my life around. The rejected
stone is now the corner stone.
Ephesians 3:20-21
“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly
abundantly above all that we ask or think,
according to the power that works in us, to Him be
glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all
generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
OH AMAZING GRACE.
#THE END#
Send hi to Newton on 0244345690 to be added to
the STORY ISLAND PAGE for interesting stories
Thanks to all my lovely readers.

Tears of A Helpless Woman

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Tears of A Helpless Woman

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

TEARS OF A HELPLESS WOMAN CHAPTER 1

My name is Mwansa Yande, I am an orphan who

My uncle works for the mines as a geologist while

At the back of this mansion is a chicken run and in

My aunty and uncle have two children together,

My uncle is in a world of his own and in his world I

I only have one thing I boast of and that’s my

I don’t consider what my aunty does to me as

Anyway my birthday is in two weeks and I am so

I survived this life, I survived everything my aunt

The first thing I would like to buy when I become

Another thing I would like is a beautiful bed bought

In life there will always be someone you can lean

At first it was very weird because Sandra talked

I took it this way, she may actually have been lying

My aunty is not Christian neither is my uncle, but

The twins are in what is called “praise”, from what I

I do not at all call them Christians because from

Theirs a man called “papa” well that’s as much as I

Anyway, the mansion has 4maids in total, I’m the

Working like a maid in my own uncles house is

The food I eat is usually what the maids eat,

Mama Patricia is heaven sent, she is a chef at a

When she felt pity and offered me a hand, i was

Mama Patricia donates a couple of things that help

“Yande! Yande! Yande come here you fool before I

“That’s my aunty calling, I need to run. If I don’t get

Anyway according to her, I am a surprise……. a

” Yande I need you to pick my dresses from the

I nodded my head in agreement and waited for her

“We are having a party tonight just here at home

“Dress my best?” I thought.

I don’t own any nice clothes and I don’t see why

By mid day the driver and I were back from the

Well I already knew that I don’t own any nice

Ms Chileshe, one of the maids from the mansion

“Mwansa! Mwansa!” The event is about to start,

When she said those words a cold breeze hit me.

After tying my long natural hair, I got up and looked

It was an old fashioned dress with huge shoulder

I was embarrassed and uncomfortable but that’s all

“You look good” ms Chileshe comforted me.

“You have a beautiful face and your hair is long and

My eyes were teary but I walked to the mansion

“Oh you are finally here…” My aunt said as I

She seemed to have been directing the maids

“Yande please get the tray over there and serve

I quickly picked the drinks and went to the front of

I saw a lot of familiar faces in the crowd so I quickly

“We are here to celebrate a great milestone in the

I couldn’t see her from where I sat but I heard her

At that time my heart sunk and I shed tears. Surely

I got up from my sit and decided to walk to my

It was the most embarrassing day of my life and

I cried myself to sleep that night. My heart was torn

“Wake up dear your aunty wants you” she said.

I quickly changed and went to the mansion. My

She was taking a glass of red wine and she was in

“Are you a fool?” My aunty said.

I was looking at the beautiful pattern of the floor

“Are you surprised? Is there another fool around!!”

I shook my head suggesting that the only fool was