Dingledine 1

Hadlea Dingledine

Dean Leonard

English 1201.2V7

25 April 2022

Remix Project: Journal Entry

April 25, 2022

Today was not an easy day, I learned that I have 2 college essays due this weekend as

well as my high school assignments. When I learned this information, my heart started to race, it

felt like the air got thicker. All of a sudden, I felt like the weight of 10 buildings was laying on

my shoulders… my severe anxiety had kicked in again. As the school day went on, I couldn’t

focus, all I could focus on were all the assignments. The assignments that could either make or

break my grade. I felt sick as the day went on, my body shut down. I tried to control my anxiety

with some meditation in study hall, but it didn’t work. So, then I tried my tapping technique to

try and relieve some of the stress and anxiety that was built up now, but that also was

unsuccessful.

Finally, later in the day I made it home where I could face my anxiety alone instead of in

a room with over 30 people. Even though I was home my anxiety still didn’t get any better, I

tried doing as much homework as I could before my college class, but I didn’t have much time.

When my class was finally finished, I had to get ready for soccer practice! I felt like I was about

to burst. All of a sudden, I couldn’t catch my breath, I started getting dizzy, and sat down. As I

laid on my back trying to just breath, I started hyperventilating. My hands started to vibrate, then

my arms, my torso, my legs, my face, and then my feet. The burning sensation slowly crawled

through my body. I felt like I was on fire. As I laid their tingling and burning up, my hands
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started to tense up. They balled themselves up, I was unable to move my hands! I started to

panic, I couldn’t move or breath. All of a sudden all of my joints locked up… I was officially

stuck. I was stuck their shaking, sweating, tensed up to the point of tears. I ended up staying like

this for over 2 hours.

Close to when my panic attack started, my mom thankfully found me. She tried to help in

every way she could but there was nothing she could do. My body had officially felt overloaded

from all the stress I was under and it crumbled. She put a fan on me to try and cool me down, but

it didn’t work. All she could do was sit on the floor and hold me while the panic attack took

course. My mom’s main goal was to try and get me to calm down which is easier said than done.

By the second hour my body hurt so bad, my hands felt like they were being stabbed, I couldn’t

stay like this for much longer or it would have a serious toll on my health.

Luckily a little bit later I managed to start calming down. I started to be able to feel my

feet again, then my face, my legs, my torso, my arms, and then finally my hands. My joints were

still locked up a little bit from them being tensed up for so long. I tried to get up when I caught

my breath, but I had to sit there for a little while longer because I still couldn’t walk. When I was

finally able to stand up practice was over, so I obviously didn’t go. I managed to still get my high

school work done that needed to be done for tomorrow, I didn’t finish it all, but I tried my best. I

need to remember that it’s not the end of the world every time I get stressed out but it’s very

difficult. It was a long day and I definitely would not like to do it again. Hopefully it doesn’t

happen again even though it’s unlikely.