When will the men of youth hockey ever grow up?

SAMANTHA REYNOLDS
As I finish up my fourth season head coaching my son’s under-13 youth hockey team at a well-
known Toronto hockey club, one question consistently pops in my mind: “When will the men of
youth hockey ever grow up?”
After a season of being taunted by other coaches on our WhatsApp group, being accused of
“stacking” my lines (which means I purposely chose to put strong players with other strong
players to dominate), being verbally assaulted during a game so much so that a referee had to
intervene, and threatened, manipulated and harassed via e-mail, the only answer I have come up
with is: Not any time soon.
I would like to clarify that the division I am coaching is house league. In ice hockey, “house
league” is entry-level. Anyone can play house league for a nominal fee, even if you have never
been on skates. The goal of house league is for the kids to have fun.
As a female head coach, I have encountered this kind of behaviour from male hockey coaches
for a few years. This season, however, it went to a new level of craziness. These men, (my
wonderful male co-coach excluded), tried desperately to coerce me to do what they wanted
solely to better their teams, falsely believing that, as a woman standing 5 foot 2, a) I didn’t
understand the game and how to judge a player’s strengths, and b) that I would simply bend over
and let them have their way with me. They were wrong on both counts.
What is it about this mostly male-dominated sport that is able to mutate a middle-aged man into
a screaming toddler, hurling insults my way because he is losing a novice youth hockey game?
Why do these men believe they can treat a woman with such disrespect and lack of dignity? And
why do they and many others believe this is okay? It is not okay. If you can’t respect the “no”
coming out of my mouth, you should not be allowed to coach children in any capacity.
There are two major influences that shape our personality as adults and dictate how we interact
with those in our world: our home environment and how much or little we are seen by our
parents growing up. By seen, I mean were you as a child, allowed to express emotions in a
supportive environment, or were you shamed? Did you have a voice within your family, or were
you shut down? Were you given the freedom to explore what it meant to be you? Or did you
have to be what others wanted you to be?
Unfortunately, many of us, me included, were somewhat traumatized by our parents not knowing
any better. Add this to a home environment where a woman’s place is subordinate to the man,
where a man is king, and spice it up with a bit of macho sports culture and you have men who
can be easily threatened by a more-than-capable female competitor and/or a talented female co-
worker.
Unbeknownst to these male coaches, they are all reacting from past unresolved childhood
trauma. In essence, there is a part of them that was never allowed to grow up. It is a negative
cyclical pattern that has been passed down from father to son through the generations.
Generations of entitled and repressed men who were led to believe that they dominated sports
such as hockey and that a woman’s place was to pack the snacks.
By the end of the season, it would have been easier to stay quiet and let this juvenile nonsense
slide. I could have rationalized it in my mind, telling myself “it wasn’t that big of a deal.” But if I
did that I am part of the problem. My silence would have been like a free pass to these men to
continue these antics, and too many of us women have been silent for far too long.
Earlier this year I went to the president of the hockey club, was listened to and have been
promised that the club will make significant changes for next season.
Though I may have been the target of some of these male coaches, I certainly wasn’t the victim:
Those were the children sitting on those hockey benches. What these male coaches fail to
recognize is the ramifications of their actions. If these children repetitively see a coach – this also
includes the coach’s own child – yelling at a female, coach or otherwise, and there are no
repercussions for such an action, they will interpret this as permissible. They are not quite old
enough to know better, and so, over time, the negative cyclical patterns continue. The pattern
will only stop when one of these boys matures and decides for himself to reject these “rules” that
have been impressed upon him, but this takes time.
I do not know if I will volunteer to be behind the bench next season. But I am hopeful that if the
youth hockey community does its best to hold those who exhibit hateful behaviour accountable,
then as a community it is preserving the real reason we are all on the ice and at the rinks: to
watch our kids have fun. (870w)
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/first-person/article-when-will-the-men-of-youth-hockey-
ever-grow-up/
How To Become A Successful Video Content Creator – Insights From KallmeKris
Written by Bernard Marr

I frequently write about the way the world of work is changing. The development of new
technology means some jobs that were common in past times no longer exist – think of
lamplighters, elevator operators, and telephone switchboard operators.
Likewise, new jobs are being created all the time. One new occupation is the video content
creator. Today, technology allows creative people to make a living by building their own niche
audiences, developing a personal brand, and growing a unique fanbase.
One such creator is Kris Collins, aka KallmeKris – who, since launching her career during the
pandemic lockdown, has grown an audience of more than 43 million viewers on video sharing
services, including TikTok, Youtube, Instagram, and Twitch.
This week, she joined me for a webinar where, among other things, we discussed her top tips for
becoming a success in the hyper-competitive but potentially highly rewarding world of video
content. Here’s an overview of them, and if you want to watch the whole interview, you can find
it here.
Have a content strategy
As with any endeavor, whether in art or business, think about what you are trying to achieve and
put plans in place to make it happen. In the case of content creation, this means understanding
the different formats and types of content that will work on different channels and adopting a
methodical approach to writing, filming, editing, and posting.
Colins tells me, "I do a lot of sketch comedy … so I have to have a schedule; otherwise, I'm not
very organized! So I keep a Google calendar – mornings are for writing, and afternoons are for
filming … editing is at night. But because I have a lot of different platforms, usually TikTok is
the beginning of the day, Youtube is midday.”
To start with, she began by watching other people's channels and speaking to other content
creators to get an idea of how different content worked across different platforms.
She says, "I do what I love – I love writing comedy and creating characters, and I think that has a
lot to do with the success I have – so start with something you enjoy doing – and if you really
want to succeed with it you have to manage your time very well.”
Learn from your mistakes
Jumping in at the deep end and getting your hands dirty is a great way to start learning
immediately on the job. But one lesson Colins learned early on is to take time out for yourself
and avoid burnout.
She tells me, "I was making five to eight videos a day for over a year – I definitely had multiple
periods of burnout and was getting pretty low.
“But at the end of the day … people aren’t going to care if you take a day off. I’m an advocate
for mental health and wasn’t really taking care of myself through the whole process.
“But now … I focus on quality over quantity … that’s something I wish I had figured out
sooner!”
Learn to manage your income
Content creators don’t get one nice and simple paycheck per month, with their tax and other
expenses all taken care of. Generally, they are self-employed, and if they want to be successful, it
will generally involve managing multiple streams of income. These could come from subscriber
fees, sponsorships and brand deals, services like Patreon, referrals, pay-per-click advertising,
Google AdSense, or many other potential sources.
Colins said, "I sell merchandise as well … it's multiple streams of income, and it does become
overwhelming … I’m a very scramble-brained person!”
Financial service providers – including fintech startups – have been quick to spot this emerging
market of self-employed online workers – many of whom may not have had a thorough
understanding of the complexities of managing their own finances before taking up exciting
digital careers. Colins told me she uses an app called Able that’s designed to help people like her
manage income and taxes.
“you set it up with your bank account, and when you get paid … it puts aside the money you're
going to need to pay in taxes … the issue I had when I started is, you're making this income, but
you're not realizing that not all that money is yours! This helps you not worry about that … the
money you get is the money that is yours then it puts aside [taxes] for the end of year or end of
quarter or whenever you pay your taxes.”
Pay attention to analytics
Keeping an eye on the demographics that your content is popular with, the time of day they are
watching it, and which videos are doing well and which are underperforming is key to growing
your audience and providing them with videos that are relevant. Every platform provides
different tools for creators to mine their viewer data for insights, and developing a broad
understanding of all of them is key to success.
Colins says, "At first, I didn't focus on them, but it really does matter … I keep track of
everything.
"Sometimes the algorithms just don't like you that day, and it doesn’t do well – but most of the
time if it’s getting shared often and there are a lot of likes or comments, you know [the content]
is successful.
"People like to scroll fast, so you need to catch them in the first one or two seconds; you need to
be doing something to catch the viewer … maybe it's the thumbnail that wasn't good enough, or
maybe the video was too long – people's attention spans are getting shorter and shorter, so the
analytics absolutely are something that every creator should be looking at.”
Always be on the lookout for new opportunities
Technology makes it possible to do this for a living, so content creators should always have an
eye on future trends and upcoming new opportunities. Colins tells me she is currently interested
in NFTs and the potential they hold to unlock new ways of monetizing and sharing content.
She’s also looking at live touring to meet her fans in person, and is also investigating
opportunities to get involved with traditional media like film and TV.
She says, "Those are the big projects right now – I have a bunch of little ones, too, like writing a
graphic novel and doing some other things – there’s like a hundred other things!” (1058w)
https://bernardmarr.com/how-to-become-a-successful-video-content-creator-insights-from-
kallmekris/
 When Did We Get So Scared of 'Screen Time'?
JESSE WALKER
"Too Much Screen Time Damages the Brain," says Psychology Today. "A Dark Consensus
About Screens and Kids Begins to Emerge in Silicon Valley," announces The New York Times.
"Finally, we're all wising up about the dangers of screen time for kids," adds the Los Angeles
Times. Then there's the New York Post, which in 2016 ran a Nicholas Kardaras column
headlined "It's 'digital heroin': How screens turn kids into psychotic junkies."
As is often the case, the headlines are overblown. The papers cited in Psychology Today aren't
simply about "too much screen time"; they're about people who were dysfunctional enough to be
diagnosed with internet addiction. (Not that it's even clear what internet addiction means—
researchers haven't come up with a standardized definition of the disorder yet, and not every
scientist in the field thinks it's a useful label.) That New York Times article doesn't deal with
scientific research at all; it's about employees at Silicon Valley companies who try to limit their
kids' exposure to the tools they work on. The Los Angeles Times op-ed spends much more time
describing a shift in public opinion than defending it.
And that New York Post column wound up getting debunked in Psychology Today, which
sounds a little remorseful about its earlier coverage. "You can find many similar scare headlines
and articles elsewhere in the popular media, including even some here at Psychology Today," the
outlet explains. Where the Post piece invokes brain imaging studies to declare that "your kid's
brain on Minecraft looks like a brain on drugs," the debunker points out the missing context:
"The research that Kardaras referred to demonstrates that certain pathways in the forebrain,
where dopamine is the neurotransmitter, become active when people are playing video games,
and drugs like heroin activate some of these same pathways. What Kardaras' and similar articles
leave out, however, is the fact that everything that is pleasurable activates these pathways. These
are the brain's pleasure pathways."
There is, in fact, very little good research about screen time's effects on children and teenagers.
To the extent that the question is framed that way, there probably won't ever be much good
research about it. "Screen time" just isn't a very meaningful category. It's bad enough to jumble
all the things you can do on a phone or a tablet or a laptop or a television together. But to jumble
the devices themselves together, so that the same concept covers everything from texting to
watching the Super Bowl? You might as well be tallying up the time we spend looking at paper.
If you're old enough to have children, you're probably old enough to remember an era when this
didn't have to be explained, if only because these activities hadn't all been collapsed into the
same omnibus word yet. If your parents thought you tied up the phone line too much, they might
limit your phone time. If your parents thought you spent too much time watching television, they
might limit your TV time. If your parents thought you played too many video games, they might
yell for you to go outside for a while.
No one confused doing too much of one with doing too much of the others. But now they've all
been subsumed by a monster called Screens.
For the record: Even if you do combine them like that, the picture isn't very frightening. Two
Oxford psychologists, Amy Orben and Andrew Przybylski, recently examined three mammoth
sets of data on American and British kids; their conclusions appear in the February issue of
Nature Human Behavior. The bad news is they found a negative correlation between using
technology and adolescent well-being. The good news is the correlation is tiny. Being bullied has
a much stronger negative correlation than using technology. Just wearing glasses has a slightly
more negative correlation than using technology. Using technology is, in fact, barely more
negative than regularly eating potatoes.
"When viewed in the broader context of the data, it becomes clear that the outsized weight given
to digital screen-time in scientific and public discourse might not be merited," Orben and
Przybylski conclude. The "evidence simultaneously suggests that the effects of technology might
be statistically significant but so minimal that they hold little practical value." When they
followed that up with a study in Psychological Science, this one drawing on a different set of
data, Orben and Przybylski got similar results.
And of course, correlations don't tell us much about what's actually causing what. One teenager
gets depressed from his interactions online; another is already depressed and goes online for
comfort. In both cases, "screen time" is correlated with depression, but for one teen the screen is
causing the problem and for the other the screen is curing it. Which is more common? A mere
correlation won't tell you.
Society is prone to getting nervous about new technologies, and parents in particular can get
nervous about pretty much anything, so there's always a market for warnings about the
unprecedented threat a technology purportedly poses to your kids. And real risks and drawbacks
do exist, so you should of course pay attention to what the people who study tech's effects have
to say. In the case of screens, you could go to the American Academy of Pediatrics, whose
website has fairly reasonable advice: Pay attention to what your kids are doing online, make sure
young children have time for unplugged play, turn off the TV when no one's watching it, and so
on. You might not agree with every last word of it, but it has the advantage of focusing on things
like what's age-appropriate and how you're interacting with your children, not how many hours a
day are spent in front of screens of any sort.
The phrase screen time does slip into the group's advice once, but not in a manner that conflates
different activities. Quite the opposite. "Screen time shouldn't always be alone time," the site
says. "Co-view, co-play and co-engage with your children when they are using screens—it
encourages social interactions, bonding, and learning. Play a video game with your kids. It's a
good way to demonstrate good sportsmanship and gaming etiquette. Watch a show with them;
you will have the opportunity to introduce and share your own life experiences and perspectives,
and guidance."
In other words, it's not just that there are differences between the many activities a kid can do
with a screen. There are differences between the ways a kid can do those activities. A girl
watching a TV show by herself is not in the same position as a girl watching the same show with
a parent. There are times when your kid can get more out of watching a dumb cartoon with you
than watching an educational program on her own. Enjoy it with her; talk about it with her; joke
around about it with her later. It sure beats using the TV as a babysitter.
Not that you should feel terrible about occasionally using the TV as a babysitter. If you need to
be left undisturbed for half an hour to make dinner, an episode of Sofia the First is not going to
melt your kid's mind. The important thing isn't the screen; it's the relationship. Be judicious, use
common sense, and you should be fine. (1218w)
https://reason.com/2019/05/25/when-did-we-get-so-scared-of-screen-time/