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OUT | Ha AAU Q Ay WA NF YY Dacle clin Not gepng edp: Sou g Lia Lion WyPlease » 0 Sune2, 201g Read’ oe idea talaga ora) te,uiupe.of bli ndara dy,pz dade ite ME, abel pegaVes shansh i June? 20l8 [enos? MY) patent p mt face e s a oP ee re NCA WUAG hia Acnevune 2, 2018wpa, Miny gerynt utes bdo ee hbogpena Mr a ani 2910 wl belle 7 All ie at 0 c-Papheuptod akcpoer, thes pin okktcted Art pO — olepecabuom’. VA Lea ¢ Lien, Ze Jathe root for potential improvement in our overall relationship. They made certain to grow me up fast maturely to treat my parent with true courage and the real honor of respect. | was constantly instructed, while they were persistent when riding my patience to on my case every minute that they extended the lessons to operate on each had habit, and attitude to fix the source of the behavior. | was extremely childish for my bad confrontive behavior at my parent and leant that also from her that | was strongly confused about a lot of personal ailments with my parent. That is more than half of what hurt our communication and ability to be near one another. My ignorant mind was adapting from the change or biological transition from teen to the early twenties. My thinking so horridly naive and lost from many life directions at once. That in a nut shell is some of what lead to source the explanation about the frantic anger that | had developed back then. My parent had to eventually be directed about how to reraise my wellbeing and recreate our relationship frim the awful mess up that was atrocious. There was by chance a long article in the newspaper a few months later describing another similar incident that a mother did exactly what they said and deliberately put her daughter behind bars. Later, which is still hard to believe, from that article, that she actually found the nerve to thank her parent for her actions upon her misconduct. Well, that article was too much for my ability to keep reading even through I'd found myself reading it four times to make sure | had read it correctly. What | had gone through; would have best done her a lot more good than what her parent just did to her without another peep or word sentence wise. Even though my parents as a whole say they're not explicitly strict, | take it as otherwise based on what | already know has happened in the last several years. | understand remorsefully that | am no longerThe assigned therapist with the group one day gave us some composition books and asked us as a group to place our personal thoughts and feelings in them as she withheld extra information that we should not say what we literally think that goes through our head. | did that, because | didn’t know the severity of the consequence of what | wrote the first time in this book. She strongly punished me instantly after reading that I was having thoughts of harming my mother again as I've done before I'd was sent there previously. This time, | swore quickly to her that | was just letting out some built up stream in my heart over the many fights she and | had during those days. The therapist didn’t fool with my pleas and called to warn my mother of what had been written in that book she'd given us. That wasn't fair, as she only had told us to express our deepest emotional feelings in it, but not that it'll prosecute you in the process of the situation. She had given us double talk than, therefore leaving out careful important detail that | was going to be caught in its trap. After that incident unfolded, | somehow was allowed to continue my therapy and strict, closely watched rehabitation. | got trained with new redevelopmental skills and disciplines that were necessary for overcoming all the roughness of the ailment with my parent. Mother was taught how to correct my behavior, and prepare if | had another unexpected hostile episode again in the near future during that era. | felt like | was definitely put into a smaller portion of boot camp with fewer patients or participants in the correction process that took every single element of determination and compassion out of my heart and obligation to continue. The amazing thing is that after days of good, Satisfactory behavior, and learnt mental and physical functions; was when | began to heal and recope with myself and reform the connection with my parent in a healthier way. It was possible with new techniques and methods that turn the tides for hope alongof complete strangers who only made threats at me if | ever disobey or say anything that was against their cause and order. Yes, she initially forced me into that place without second thought or a clear decision that was a tad more rational. She was just too upset and distraught that she was just doing anything and saying desperately that she wanted me to be intentionally put away. They tried to talk us down to some sensible level after all the emotional rage and frustration had somewhat passed to a manageable extent. Mom was the most angered one with her act of just wanting to get help immediately at the very second whether than thinking it through. | was losing my mother’s rash with my case as they stated, since they're part of the state of how she should have called authorities and depending on them, whether than doing it herself. They later established a consideration after they realized | didn’t exactly fit a potential cause of considering a charge on my record for assault. | pray to this day, since | never had seen what was put on my dictative papers, while | was staying there for over a week by the psychiatrist who set me up with selective arrangements. A legal Paper stated for my personal predicament meaning that a large portion of my unalienable rights were taken away. A few of those were that they'd had the right to electrocute me by force if necessary to bring me down to the floor without consciousness, and the option of putting a tight straight jacket on my body at any given time. | was soon put into a preorganized group of both depressed and alcoholic individuals that admitted to be escorted to that facility by state authorities for similar criminal acts of out of control behavior on innocent people or outsiders. That revealed mentally to my grasp that they might have still determined my case to be criminal in nature, whether than being up mainly for emotional therapy and rehabitation.My true thorough change that was lasting and overwhelming in my life was the definite of disillusionment. The most enormous shock and abilitating change slammed into my heart and conscious was the in-depth eye opener I’ve ever experienced. This memory always sends my body into literal shakes when recalling such an impressive situation that | was suddenly placed into. Why | am writing this is because it's difficult to contain this era in my life so deeply inside without letting it seep out of my pours either verbally or on paper. It’s a pain staking challenge to intact every word on this paper one step after another in such a slow pace. This incident happened to cause utter and permanent disillusionment that will just primary, and deliberately last my entire life within my hurt saddened memory of it. When | was once twenty-three, about ten years ago, | physically attacked my mother in her room after chasing her through the house. There was a later episode of a mother and son who was seventeen to had done the same action as ironically | had on Dr. Phil back in 2012. She acted the same day by immediately as an emergent response to send me to the nearest behavioral health hospital in our area. She believed while being so terribly frightened to be even near my personal space or view of sight. She was trembling with terror of how I'd treated her over the last previous days. She marched me into the handserot onal, si theta tesla atten an Un, p ruin yo Be Be epeiiiate shed Hine One : Ire tetgedag sistent? pay iid ona ecto “ier tlt, Abt] De22-Yhna, moor inattadion haa Won! 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Thad ¢ meltdown this morning with Mom about the ailment left subject of Parkwood and the lacking of present angels watching over me during that period I spent within that institution. argued that I've felt no presence of any angels being over my shoulders while I was admitted there. also argued that I didn’t fel as it had learnt anything other than how terrible that placed ended up being on my sprit and sanity thereafter. It was destructive enough to damage my mentality even farther as it eaused a certain amount of PTSD possibly, The mere flashbacks of the place causes me to shiver, and resent the treatment as no more than a probable failure. 1 feel automatically frightened ofthe thought of how upsetting the place leaves a painful image in my thought reflection of it. ‘My Mom complained that it was hard to hear me fuss about it's effects on my well being and having not learnt anything, but how it feels to be insulted to preexisting injury. Not only did it seem to effect my mind, but it took my interest to do anything, but sink into a deep state of depression for a few years. That made me unable to get out and do things or activities or continue work training fora future employment. Ihad to start over after five years of being personally traumatized by the place's god awful experience. Regardless of it being about a ‘week and a half in length tending the location, I was poorly treated and neglected with, ‘unwanted mental results down the road, 1 claimed that the place was naughtily run by the Devil and his demons “fallen angel's ‘angels’. Locations on earth are fun by this evil influence and will be an unending force showing true difficulty for this culture and society to overcome or prevent from harming more average citizen’s lives, like myself. I shouldn't said I was foreed to give up faith over the existence of angels in our lives, but there, they obviously did not exist or how their position as nearby. ‘Angels may have purposely avoided getting close to a place like that, because it is derived from mainly bad, careless mishandling of any person ‘patient’ who tends there at any time, Also as I found a person explain, the patients or visitors are threatened to immediately loose use of every human and personal right, and told that authorities ‘police are needed’ to create ‘a criminal report on each situation ‘ease’. All of which, rights are forcefully compromised quickly, resulting in lock up or you being ‘ike me' placed in a group full of criminally, ‘dangerous’ charged individuals in for therapy. ‘Since than, I still feel « human right to have crying feelings ‘emotionally’ about this circumstance in my life, after even just ten years. Flashbacks feel too real and hurt to say otherwise in any differ language ‘sincerely’. Parkwood has damaged ‘poisoned’ my mind & i's disrupted my psychological producibilty ‘This isthe inexcusable response I have experienced ‘learnt' from this place with it's socalled claim of practical treatment, which is pathetic. | did not need to go there to learn ‘from’ it'the institution’ & Tow paid staff through explicit bullying and emotional suffering, causing it to become horrid and miserable, instead of any form of rational care & proper treatment for any average citizen who's mind does matter.dog story’ 3 or resolve the situation. My actions towards the pet meant that it must leave me alone, allow me to associate with my family, and live in the house as an equal, Of course, that never worked and never got anywhere, it ust as usual got worse. It seemed to ‘make the pet temporarily abject to it, but soon returned to its original ways. | wished the pet ‘would stop torturing me to the ground which was becoming too unbearable, Yeah, compared to school, that was the worse bully 've ever met! Torturing me without mercy over my social rank with my family and being with my family or even near them. So much, trying to drive me ‘scared out of my home and away from my family allogether. The dominating over everything, like @ dictator getting only for what they want as a result, leaving everyone else in the dust, in that case, The strong possession and domination of everything, living space, furniture, family, ‘and the house entirely, as if the whole house and those they wanted belonged to them. So, | ‘Quess those toys weren't enough was it, or the miniature pet bed either, just no satisfaction ‘about anything, just hunger so to speak for more and more. Wake up! The pet was becoming. ut of control and dangerous, ever since it tumed ten, it started forming these elusive behaviors, The pet had always had a form of or certain degree of aggression, being brought Lup at a puppy mil, which is the worse place for a pet I've heard to be al before being bought by any owner, that they’re going have unwanted behaviors, When the pet started biting, I truly ‘don't understand why you or her, didn't doing anything about it, why was that behavior tolerated so much!? That was harshly painful and wasn't put under control so | would be less. fearful and know things were under control or managed propery. [feel as if you let it abuse ‘me and didn't take care of the situation, which is why | was so traumatized by it. Itjust plainly ‘became an environmental hazard for me, which seemed a long time that it won't ever let up (or decease to be the case. became so much under unbearable pressure, it caused me to get sick, bleed from wounds, ‘un high fever, and raised my blood pressure, which also caused a horrible amount to stress and pain for me. Well, thanks, am gled you and her finally moved the pet to ancther location Atleast Iam not harassed by it anymore or have to endure all the miserable and unhealthy situation. | stil believe that’s what set off my menorthagia, which | had to get a endometrial ablation for, than later since my ovaries got rattled and shocked, had to go through major depression that lasted for at least eight mnths without a break. Now. | am under constant treatment for this ecumstance, ever since | went to the behavioral hospital as an out-patient ‘member fora while that included counseling and medicine, regular therapy, and thus fr, i's been similar, only this time it's @ ore regimen therapy instead unlike that, instead of mind or ‘aod altering mecicine. Ihave tried two kinds of mikes for that, and believe tm goana use the second ope thet just makes me highly fatigued and drowsy meaning | sleep excessively on those ne ersonally that they're only compatile ones that don't have side effecs that cause me to bacome anything, but negative towards my parents and myself https://www. facebook. com/note. 3 Page 3 of 3 9/19/2015dog story’ 2 Page 2 of 3 children alone or supervise the situation. The pet was mad at me because it wanted ‘everything above me, to have superior status in the home as to what it gains and get from the family, soit was preventing me from living in a stable environment and keeping me away from ‘my family or having anything, cause the pet will take advantage of it and take whatever it is away from me. There wasnt hardly a day that the pet didn't show sort form of aggression, rather it was playing or not, mostly towards me. | know | was always out at school every day ‘or doing something outside of the home, so most ofthe time, I didnt have time to socialize with the pet or allow ito really get to know me well. The pet was kept inside and permitted from the outside world, never much around other people or other pets, no extra social activities, | was and got scary that the fact the pet became paranoid and fearful af ving in its own, environment and had to be around just certain people, mainly one or two at the max. | also Notice that the pet developed bad habits or clawing the base board of the wall, licking the Carpet, and digging into the floor or just about anything else, and even chewing on itself, either @ foot or a til, until the fur was eat off of it which could have been bad nerves or anxieties. Oh, the pet would always shake all the time associating with bed nerves or anxieties. One thing's for sure, the pet was very unhappy and uncomfortable in its environment. The pet was unmanageable, unpredictable, and uncontrollable, mainly when I ‘was around that is as if the pet was determined to overpower me or show that it was alpha ‘and | was nothing at alin terms of who show be dealing with it or who is the boss of any situation, as | am grown, | knew that was wrong. | knew that nothing was being done about it ‘and as a result, it was just only getting worse. It was not me that hu it, it was it hurting me ‘and that really shouldn't be the factor to that issue cause the pet had gained complete alpha ‘social status and domination aver the family and | couldn't even put a dentin that issue. The pet never listened to me, was extremely stubborn when told to do something orto obey. have read that was because of the strong alpha status in the family they have over me, it was 1 if, the pet was suddenly teling me what to do, and that's isn't what should be occurring ‘You can't just pick it up or move it, as the pet only gets the upper hand in everything and ‘makes me look small making me feel ike I am in woods or in dark about how to manage the situation. I wasn't trying to be mean, | was trying to stop the pet from being this way and tending up torturing me as a resuit of allthis which only meant that the situation was out of control and unwanted | elt that as you don't ike the thought of it, kicking @ pet is keeping the rest of yourself away from it ike the hands and the face from the pet's grasp, any of the softer parts of the body that is exposed. | ust felt lke there was no choice, | had to do it, or get badly hurtin the future as | saw it like | was going to become the pets’ unfortunate victim like most children as | am ended up becoming as a result of doing nothing about it. was angry and frightened at the pet at the same time, mostly angry about how it treated me, how it was keeping me from eating, keeping me from my family, and from living in a stable home that could have been safe, cause it was very insecure and harsh allthe time, the pet was always on edge and ‘always threatening to attack me every day and | have just got fed up with it, | wouldn't go ‘round tolerating it anymore. About that, | never walk away, handle it, or | would be saying {900d bye to my life possibly. If you were in my shoes, I know you would understand more, ‘am sure, Though even afterwards, there was no answer in sight about how to further handle. https:// www. facebook, com/note. 3 9/19/2015dog story’ 1 Page | of 3 .dog story’ February 21, 2012 at 2:37pm ‘Our Dog! -past > It was a Pekingese ‘female black/white’ *side cliff note* -This happened just the the last few years | had to deal with this dog since 2007-2008. Simple the last couple of years before we moved. | have felt very resentful and hheart broken that this dog changed so abruptly before she was the dog I've knew best and remembered most. In otherwords, this pet I've enjoyed and gotten along with changed and ‘became a dog | personally didn't know and understand anymore. She as Ive noted became very territorial and showed dominance over everything cause she was raised vary freely to {ake over the house and everything she had, even my own parents making it hard to interact with them at that time. I am stating in this story that it all finally got out of control or hand from being manged anymore. This today makes me feel sad and honestly, | believe as I've been told or informed; that this dog had gotten a lot better and more settled with less of these issues being present with my grandmother. At that time, since she went to my grandmother, that was hard to for me to process or believe around the year of 2009. Now, I'm just having dreams either of remembrance of her or fearing she could retum, and yes | was definitely and realistically since those last few years.. truly terrified of her for lfe which is why | am also having a phobia of dogs from now on since than. It'd cause as a result of depressing ‘memories, either a panic attack or maybe me simple passing out of @ rapid heart rate which was common since than also.- | tried to teach or punish the pet not to dominate the house, living space, and for mistreating ‘me just because | was at the bottom of the social rank in their eyes compared to the rest of the family. The pet was jealous of me being given any attention, food, or care of any sort which the pet only wanted for themselves, very greedy in that way. The pet gained functional dominance or power over everything because it was never corrected or told right from wrong, uided, or controlled at al. It was 2s if the pot was free to do what it wanted and can get away with it type of situation. The pet didn't even want me to live in the same home with the family Cr socialize as that made the pet angry or anxious depending, | have read that many times it's the child that gets mistreated because they are at the bottom of the social rank in a pet's eyes Cr view point, So, technically the pet doesn't even care how it treats me or have any feelings ‘concerning it.The pet just never got taught not to bully me if you're wondering, who was bullied, pushed around by, and hurt everyday by. It wasn't me who wanted this, | wanted to be nice to it in the beginning, but after just a few weeks after it was bought, it started acting very aggressively to other people, other pets, and me cause I lived there Well Iwas bit, snapped at, growled al, and more which are red flags or warning signs that is ‘suggesting that there is something wrong with the pet and that it won't socialize with certain family members. | tried to encourage the idea that you or her as part of a family should do ‘something about it, but al | ever got from it was excuses end being blamed for pettiness due to what | may have been lke as child, and hey, these pets aren't not suppose to be around https://www facebook com/note... 3 9/19/2015Jon. 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